• Member Since 12th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Monday

Comet Burst

The man without a plan.


Imagine, if you will, that Twilight Sparkle never met Princess Celestia.

Pretty original premise, right?

Well, how about instead of somepony predictable, a different pony took the entrance exam... and passed!

This is about Zecora, a zebra on vacation who stumbled into the wrong room and changed her fate forever.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 113 )


Well now, here's an interesting premise. Well written, even if the rhymes feel a little awkward or forced at times. It's clear you're trying though...

What the hay? I'll give it a like and see where this goes :twilightsmile:

The mare was pretty for a zebra.

What do you mean 'for a zebra'? :ajbemused:

Fool. All zebras are hot!

On to the story. Tracked on premise alone. I'll see how it goes. Writing Zecora is always a challenge and I have great respect for people who can do it. You seem to be one such person.

Now some one do a story where Gilda is Celestia's student by some means and I'll be all set.
So far I've read alternates with
Rainbow Dash
Shining Armor

This is new.

You have my interest.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Wanna know what surprised me most about this story? The fact that it confirms that all zebras speak in rhyme. Every other story I've seen with this topic seems to think that it's a trait unique to Zecora. (That's not to say it hasn't been done well, but I think it more or less speaks of the writers' creative limits if they're not willing to make couplets for every sentence.)

Well this Is something Ive never seen before, you have my interest. :ajsmug:


3625121 That actually shouldn't be true. When Surprised by Twilight in Swarm of the century, Zecora shouts "Ugh. Have you gone mad?" and fails to complete the rhyme due to her surprise at Twilight's appearance. This is indicative that she Rhymes by conscious choice, rather than a compulsive habit or learned way of speaking.

3625121 Why does it have to say something about their creativity? I despised writing for Zecora in my story, so much so I actually killed her off. I hold no grudge against anyone that doesn't want to come up with a rhyme scheme everytime they decide to put a zebra in their story.

I like the idea that she just "stumbled" in the test :pinkiehappy:

What will happen when her mother found out?

And dont forget the AWESOMESS about the rhyme writing^^

3625300 I'm not saying that all zebras have to rhyme. If the show introduces another zebra, and he/she doesn't rhyme, I'll be okay with that... So long as it's explained. My problem with zebras not talking like Zecora is that very few authors give reasons for their choices.
Wanderings of a Non-Brony , for example, had zebras who didn't rhyme, and the author addressed this by saying Zecora was part of another tribe where that sort of thing was commonplace. By contrast, the seventh Doctor Whooves story by Doctor Perseus (The Good, the Bad, and the Derpy) featured a zebra character (Zecora's own brother, no less), and no one thought to ask why their speech patterns were so different.
It's not that zebras can't not rhyme. But with only one zebra to go on, anything that differs from her, I feel, should be lampshaded and discussed.
As for the scene in question, based on the inflections, it sounded like Twilight interrupted her before she could finish, much like in "Bridle Gossip" where she was speaking just as Rainbow crashed into the cauldron. (My interpretation, anyway.) And even if your assertion is the case, Zecora must still be pretty quick on her words if she can come up with "consumed" and "doomed" practically on the spot.

3625309 Um, I hate to say this, but you're only proving my point. To be fair, I haven't read this story, but the fact that you nixed Zecora because you were unwilling to deal with her speech pattern says to me that maybe you shouldn't have tried to write for her in the first place, especially if her character, evidently, wasn't needed in the end.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Zecora-centric story. Insta-follow.


"I don't like it, therefore it can't be creative! Look at me, I'm defensive, and my only example is killing a character because /effort."


Honestly, I had placed my headcanon on that the rhyming was unique to those zebras who'd taken up the shaman's path in life.

I like this. It's got some awesome promise to it- The writing so far's pretty great, characterization is nice, and attention to detail, especially with that egg hatching, is super nice. Looking forward to this one. :twilightsmile:

Good lord, there needs to be more Zecora fics. I love what you did here, and I cannot wait for more.

3626242 She was going to die anyway. If you read my story, you'd know why. But that's not the point. Zecora is just a difficult personality to write for. I can vouch for that. Saying that someone doesn't have enough creative capabilities to write a story about a character that rhymes every sentence isn't very fair. I wasn't being defensive and I'm not angry or anything; I'm just saying give them the benefit of the doubt. They show plenty of creativity just by writing the story, you don't need to devalue that just because they chose not to go the extra mile.

3626918 Sarcasm noted. Issuing similar retort in response.

3626242 ...Have you ever read Doctor Whooves - The Series: Episode Three - Along Came a Spider by Loyal2Luna ?

Interesting:pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::moustache: But instead of Manticore, it should be Hydra eggs(that makes more sense to me). Also at the time of the test, I'm pretty sure that Sunset Shimmer had already gone through the mirror, unless you want her to interact with Zecora.


Now some one do a story where Gilda is Celestia's student by some means and I'll be all set.

Heh, I thought for sure that you've have liked one with Lightning Dust:trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

I was thinking of what would inhabit the zebra's natural habitat and the manticore made the most sense because it's half lion, but a hydra would be cool.

Does this mean Spike was scrambled, fried, or cooked?
I want an omlet now.

Very interesting. Zecora as the main protagonist? Giggity. As a few others have mentioned, keeping the rhyming up will be a challenge, but it looks like you're doing a good job so far.

Interesting take on her use of magic, too. A lot of people compare zebras to earth ponies, and give them more passive magic - herbalism, alchemy, and general knowing stuff - whereas here she has a more active magic, only channeled through natural means.

Good work! Will follow.

I am curious. What exactly is going to prevent Zecora from making friends?

Is it trying to be the best practitioner of voodoo?

Or will living in Canterlot make Zecora feels like an outsider as a zebra in a pony city, since in the main show, it is what prevented her from becoming friends with any of the Ponyville ponies, along with her weird traditions, and part of her journey will be learning to deal with rejection and work past it?

To me that is the angle you work with.

Oooh AU stories are always interesting what if scenerios that breath new life into an already good story if done right ^^

This is good and I'm enjoying it.


Gobbling up ponies in a big tasty stew;
Interferes with the making of friends that are new.


You could use some work on writing couplets for Zecora, but overall this was pretty well written. I'd suggest reading the link that 3628879 gave, but other than that, nice work. :twilightsmile:

I would very much like to see where this is going. :pinkiehappy:

The mare was pretty for a zebra.

Um, racist. :ajbemused:

Awww yiss quality Zecora fic :pinkiehappy:

I was actually expecting "Dis gon be good" text to pop up.
~Armageddon Moose

ZECORA IS MY FAVE PONY and this story sounds like is going to be AWESOME

Okay I'm interested. :pinkiehappy:

Please do continue with this wonderful tale. :pinkiesmile:


Well, this is going to result in some lovely chaos when Zecora's mom finds her.:rainbowlaugh:

You've got my attention. Can't wait to see where you go with this. Though i'm curious about what you're going to do with Twilight.


I've always wanted to see just how different Spike could turn out from being hatched by a different Pony.

Or maybe his overall personality remains the same, just with a few different quirks :derpytongue2:

3624939 I require a list of these links...


3627226 3624939 3625154 3626157 3626961 3627948 3628355 3628834 3630457 3633206
I can so seeing something like this happing when Zecora goes to Ponyville:

Berry Punch: Princess Celestia's most prize student is a zerb (GONG!)
Cheerilee: What did she say?:rainbowhuh:
Mayor Mare: I think she say is she is near by.
Berry Punch: No! you ding dong!:twilightangry2: I say she a zerb (GONG!)
And I'm looking forward to seeing Zecora becoming a princess and the first alicorn zebra.:pinkiegasp:

I know it's not what's happening in this story, but it occurs to me that there's no reason that Zecora couldn't have been Celestia's student before Sunset. I think I might have some new headcanon forming...

Anyway, I look forward to seeing what you do with this.

Please make more!

I don't care what anybody says, Zecora is awesome! This is a pretty awesome idea for a story that really, really needs to be continued at any cost! :twistnerd: I want to see more of this ASAP. Please update soon!

So... Colgate will be the element of Laughter, obviously.

Ditzy/Derpy/Bright Eyes/whatever you decide to call her will probably be Kindness... or Generosity.

... I'm now curious as to what alicorn Zecora would look like, in case this fic gets to Magical Mystery Cure.

Derpy will be her name, and yes she will be generosity. Colgate, though, will be a different one.

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