“Celestia damn it!”
Celestia’s ears perked at the barking curse from across the diner as an empty glass shattered and a waitress began chanting apologetic remarks to a belligerent stallion patron.
“What a jerk,” Luna narrowed her eyes at the stallion still berating the half-cowering waitress. “Somebody’s getting a nightmare tonight.”
Celestia and Cadance both voiced their agreement with a wordless nod.
“Can I ask you girls a question?” Celestia frowned, alternating between glances at the commotion, and at Cadance and Luna.
“Go ahead, Auntie.”
“... Should I be insulted or flattered that ponies chose to use my name as an expletive?”
A brief pause.
“Uh… why would you be insulted?” Cadance cocked her head. “That seems to me like it should be, like, the highest honour.”
“Yes I suppose, but in such a context! ‘Celestia damn it!’ I don’t damn anything! I’m a benevolent and loving pony, not some cruel, damning overlord! I have no idea where such a notion even comes from!”
“Perhaps from the fact that you literally damned Tirek to the pony equivalent of hell?” Cadance offered. “Twice?”
“Tartarus isn’t hell! We were there, Cadance! Did it look like hell to you?”
“Uh… kinda? It really did give off some hell-ish vibes.”
“There was brimstone,” Luna recounted. “And it was really humid. Granted, no fire, but it was still pretty blistering.”
“Face it, Auntie,” Cadance said. “Tartarus is three-quarters of the way to just being hell. Heck, I remember this one stallion in high-school who was trying to get me to ditch Shiny for him. I told him to ‘go to hell’ and then got a letter later that day that said ‘okay now what.’”
“Well, whatever. That’s all irrelevant.” Celestia shook her head. “The point is, I don’t appreciate ponies using my name in the context of such vulgarity.”
“Then ask them not to,” Luna replied. “It’s not rocket surgery.”
“But then they’ll only continue doing so! More so, really! If you make something seem taboo, then ponies will only want to do it more. Don’t you remember the prohibition?”
“Ah, quite true!” Luna nodded vigorously. “Those were fun times! Well, regardless, I think it’s a fairly silly thing to get insulted by. Didn’t hear me complaining when ponies said such things about me.”
Cadance blinked. “Luna… not to be rude, but you literally went homicidally insane when ponies said such things about you.”
“Yes, but I didn’t complain. I proactively sought a solution! Albeit a poor one, but you’ve gotta give me credit for trying. Something which Celestia is refusing to do.”
“Well, I suppose I can state that I am uncomfortable,” Celestia admitted. “‘Celestia damn it’ isn’t intentionally offensive, I imagine. I’m sure the ponies don’t even realize what they’re saying.”
“Tell them if they don’t stop, there will be hell to pay.”
Silence.
Cadance facehoofed. “Luna, that would literally accomplish the opposite of what she’s trying to accomplish.”
“Fine,” Luna growled defensively. “Don’t take my advice. But you don’t see ponies calling me ‘Twinkletail’ anymore, now do you?”
Cadance blinked, and gave a blushing Celestia a blank stare. Whatever thousand-year-context she was missing, Cadance quickly decided she didn’t wish to know.
“And what about you, Cadance?” Luna carried on her defensive strike to her blushing niece. “Or should I say Cad—ence! With an E!”
Cadance shuddered. “No matter how many times I correct ponies, that one letter has been haunting my name for my whole life.”
“Exactly,” Luna nodded.
“I mean it’s not even that complicated!” Cadance said. “It’s pronounced Kay-Dance! Not Kay-Dense! I’m not dense!”
“You see?” Celestia said. “It’s not weird that I am bothered by this.”
“No, I guess not,” Cadance agreed. “But eh. I don’t think any of those names are really intentionally offensive. And if Luna’s any indication, it’s probably not worth it to try and force them all to stop.”
“Suit yourselves,” Luna said smugly. “I’m revered as the holiest and most mysterious of all the princesses, and all it took was an earth-shattering level of heartbreak, a thousand years of solitude and regret, and some black fur dye.”
More silence.
"Er... actually," Luna scratched her mane, blushing as she let her own sentence properly register. "On second thought..."