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// Saddle-lite of Love 
// Story: Awful Lot of Coffee in Equestria 
// by NorrisThePony 
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"Hey Celestia?" 

Celestia sighed. "What, Luna." 

"This one is good, I promise." 

"I have my sincere doubts." 

"Why did the restaurant on the moon got out of business?" 

"Cadance, please make her stop." 

"Don't look at me! You're the one who gave her the damn book!" 

Celestia sighed again, bringing a hoof to her snout. There was truly only one way to make the pain end. 

"Why did the moon restaurant go out of business, Luna?" she said, gritting her teeth. 

"Because it had great food, but no atmosphere!" 

"Booooo," Cadance called, to agreeing nods from Celestia. 

"Oh, you two just don't get it. You see, the joke is that—"

"Luna, stop it. Explaining a joke is like dissecting a worm..." Celestia reached a hoof to grab the infernal book from Luna, but the moon princess only held it tighter against her chest. "...everyone understands it, but it dies in the process." 

"Ah! Very good!" Luna said in a chipper tone, a quill appearing in her magic. "I will add that one! My, I didn't know you had one of these books too, Celestia!" 

"What kind of tyrant are you?" Cadance narrowed her eyes at Celestia. "You seriously didn't know this would happen?"

"I thought it was cute!" Celestia protested, flailing her hooves defensively. "101 Jokes About Space! How was I to know it would be the harbinger of darkness and despair?! Besides, you've only had to put up with her for an hour. She's been reading them to me all week." 

"Sometimes in her dreams," Luna added, still writing. 

"She tortures me," Celestia said, her eyes glazing over. "Day and night. It won't stop. I am frightened for my sanity." 

"Hello, Frightened For My Sanity," Luna called. "I am Luna!" 

Celestia had a reaction akin to getting stabbed through her heart. Cadance, however, managed to retain her composure enough to speak calmly. A quick glance at Celestia's defeated form was enough to fill her with confidence. 

"Luna, I am genuinely curious..." 

"Hello, Genu—!"

"Shut up for a second! Princess Cadance of the Crystal Empire desires to know... when we are going to get the next full moon."

"Wait, what? Why?" 

"Just answer me, Luna!" 

"Well, not for awhile. It is waning, presently."

"Luna." 

"What?" the moon princess moaned, getting visibly upset by Cadance's cryptic behaviour. 

"Luuuuunnna." 

"What do you want from me?!" 

"Look outside," Cadance pointed a hoof at the sunny skies. "Waning? It isn't even cloudy." 

With a mighty scream of "Not you, too!", Celestia dove out  of the restaurant booth and fled from the diner entirely.