Sheogorath stared out at the Shivering Isles, lost in thoughts that sprang into being as they popped into his head, watching as every whim that popped into his crazed head came to pass, no matter how impossible it should have been. Impossible? This was his realm! Impossible was whatever he said it was, which was nothing! Unless he changed his mind, or his mind changed him. That was always an odd feeling, when his mind changed him. Sometimes he was Haskill, and that was always curious indeed, serving himself. Quite fun.
But right now he was faced with the dilemma that troubled him most as he reigned over his realm in any era. "I'm bored," he grumbled to himself, and just about everyone that was around him, though most of them really weren't. "Whatever I think of happens, and everything here is under my complete control. Where's the fun in that? Everything always happens the way I want it to, and nothing is interesting anymore." He leaned one elbow on his throne as the throne room burst into butterflies, leaning his chin in his hand as he dangled the other off his knee. "And nobody's coming to play with me, and mortals are the only way anything really interesting happens here. They actually struggle against me. Struggle! Like they have a chance against a Daedric Prince?"
He rolled his eyes with a chuckle. "Well of course they don't. I'm Sheogorath! Nobody has a chance against me! Well, except Jyggalag, the cheater. He always shows up when I'm not here and breaks everything I work so hard building, the sneak thief! And the other Princes, I suppose, but none of them are anywhere near as creative as me! I'm the best, no matter what the others say!" He sighed sadly. "But that doesn't fix the boredom, since none of them want to play my games. Sometimes...sometimes I wish I had someone here who could match me...who would play with me when the rules could be changed." He waved his free hand dismissively. "But what are the chances of that happening?"
He paused as he felt a new, unusual, unexpected sensation...pain. "What's this? Something is biting my finger. I'm supposed to do something when this happens...scream? No, that's so boring. Oh, I know!" He lifted his head and extended his unbitten arm. "Yodelay-yodelay-yodela-HEE-hoo!" he cried out dramatically, just for the fun of it. However, this did nothing about the sensation of honest to goodness pain on his fingertips. "Well, time to see what I have here." Lifting his hand, he stared at the creature.
The creature extended upward from his hand, and Sheogorath examined it top to bottom. "Hmm...a feather for an antennae? How curious! And a salamander tail for a neck, so interesting! Whoever made this creature really had an imagination! A bear torso, and a dragon and deer leg for arms, amazing! Odd place for a bat and bird wing, and a lion leg and eagle talon for legs. And a head for a bottom, with eyes in its ass! How genius! And a stag antler and goat horn instead of tails!"
The creature giggled from the mouth gripping his fingers. "Ah, of course!" Sheogorath realized. "You're upside down!" He rotated his hand to stare at the creature the other way, and its eyes rolled back into its head before dangling out the tail on either side of the feather, blinking at him. Sheogorath burst into pleased laughter. "And I didn't even come up with you! How wondrous!" He tossed his hands into the air, popping out a fresh pair to applaud.
The strange creature - about the size of a loaf of bread - giggled and bowed playfully as it floated in the air. It then twirled around a few times, staring around at the Isles.
"You like this place, do you creature?" Sheogorath asked happily. "Wonderful, wonderful! But I can't keep calling you creature. Everything on the Isles is a creature. I'm a creature! You need a name!"
"Dic-ko!" the little creature offered in baby talk.
"Of course!" Sheogorath proclaimed proudly, clapping his hands together. "I shall call you...Dick-cheese!"
The creature's eyes narrowed, and it snapped its eagle talon. Sheogorath's head exploded.
Sheogorath quickly grew a new one. "That stings, Dick-cheese-"
Another snap, another exploded head. Although this time it first swelled like a balloon before popping.
Sheogorath grabbed his left arm and pumped, inflating a new head. "I get the distinct feeling you don't like the name I've given you."
"Dee! Code!" the creature insisted firmly.
Sheogorath blinked for a moment. "...Discord?"
The creature clapped happily, flying circles around Sheogorath's head before curling up to sleep on a truncheon.
"What a wondrous name!" Sheogorath proclaimed happily as he lifted the blunt instrument that hadn't been there a moment ago. "And how fitting for this place. I'm going to like having you here."
Setting the instrument down, he proceeded to play chopsticks before digging into a bowl of egg foo young, only to be blocked by little Discord's shovel from his own attempts at excavation. "What's this? This is my food! Get your own!"
"Dada! Hungy!" Discord complained before eating the bowl and throwing the egg foo young into Sheogorath's face.
The Daedric Prince happily slurped up the meal, stretching his tongue out to get every inch of his face. "Dada? Who's that?"
Discord pointed at Sheogorath with his tail, giggling as he slurped up the chopsticks.
"Me?" Sheogorath gasped in shock. "A son - you are male, aren't you? - and heir? I never thought of having such a one! I'll have to look up-" He slapped himself, making his head spin like a top. "Look it up? Who am I, Hermaeus Mora? No, I'm Sheogorath! I make it up as I go along!"
To his surprise, little Discord curled up happily in his lap, a machine gun going off in his mismatched hands to show he was purring.
Sheogorath gently began stroking Discord's back, staring at the tiny creature. Feeling odd in his face, he lifted up his free hand and felt moisture at his eyes. "What a curious thing," he murmured softly. "What a curious thing..."
Right. Check sanity at the door. Got it.
This is gonna be awesome.
Something tells me I will be laughing the entire way through this fic
I haven't even read the first chapter yet, and I've already faved and upvoted it, that's how sure I am it's going to be good.
Edit:
I believe it's 'Jyggalag'.
Edit: Oh dear, the wordplay in this story is going to be so delightfully confusing.
There are no words. It should not be possible for you to represent something this bizarre so perfectly using merely the mundane English language.
But you do. And I love it.
Perfect story to lose my mind to!!!
I have been waiting for this.
oh logic is doomed
So let the madness begin! No need for predictions because these two would never allow it!
Daawwww. Two immortal beings of chaos in the same realm of existence... (grabs shotgun and shoots computer) that's not gonna be enough...
So wait, is this Pre-Shivering Isles Sheogorath, or Champion of Cyrodill Sheogorath?
*siiiigh* Well that universe is fucked.
Hey you finally found someone for baby Discord! :)
The inner machinations of my mind are but an enigma... More please!
... Alright, this is going to be good. Like, REALLY good. I'll need an extra-large bucket of popcorn and six wheels of cheese for an offering to the Mad God. Prepare for madness, everyone, and hold onto your narwhales.
Glorious, glorious glorious! Can't wait for more, this story shall move mountains, it shall mount movements!
And maybe correct a few outrageously overly ordered minds, too, that is always nice.
7701765 Heretic! You forgot about the yarn, the lettuce, and the soul gem!
7701740
Nononono, you see that would make SENSE. Let us apply some DLC's and addons to this situation first. When dragons turn into Fluttershy, or trains, or giant pro-wrestlers, then we are bamboozled on a mudcrab's scale of clickety clack. NOW ONWARDS TO ADVENTURE! *pogo-sticks into the sunset, the ensuing damage to the sun results in Celestia going into the basement to get a new bulb*
My logic and sanity already gave up. Well done.
Any incarnation of Twilight would love it here.
7701713 Fun and glorious times
Oh yeah one other thing.
CHEESE AND CHOCOLATE MILK FOR EVERYONE!
The chaotic exposition was on point along with that precious tear drop at the end of the chapter.
Nice to see this starting up.
Welp. Let's see how much insanity they create before they get bored and start making order just because nobody expects it.
7701644 What is this "sanity" you speak of?
7701659 MUNDANE?!?!?!?!?! YOU DARE CALL THE HARDEST LANGUAGE TO LEARN MUNDANE?!?!?!?!?! GET BACK HERE SO I CAN KICK YOUR !!!!!
7701765 Waiting! Let me get mine at the theater so I get free refills!
7701783 *Snatches up Wabbajack* you'll need this too!
7701867 Something we'll see nothing of in this story.
But ya! Already liked, faved, and put into the folder where I hide my
Wild Pegisus and Craft Beerfavorite stories.And who's the guy on the left?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
wonderful just wonderful this seems like it will be a wonderful decent into madness, cheese and more madness
7701874
It is Loki from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I do hope he shows up.
Oh my goodness my sides... You nailed Shogoraths personality perfectly.
7701736
Pre. That's why Sheogorath is still talking about what Jyggalag does.
Oh god! This is amazing! I liked it before I started on pure principle. Now after reading! FAVORITES LIIISSTT!
Is it important that all the figures in the cover art are left handed?
EDIT: OH MY GOSH I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THE CHAO
Wait, is that in there because it's called cheese? It is, isn't it! That is just wonderful!
ALL OF MY YUSH!
Ah... it has been quite awhile since I read a Tatsurou story. To top it all off it includes two of my favorite chaotic gods.
Quick question, where did you get your name?
7702077
In high school Japanese class, we each got to choose our own Japanese name.
Since I've always been obsessed with dragons, I picked Tatsurou, which means 'Dragon Boy'. I've used it for everything online since.
Welcome to the madness
7702091 I figured it was Japanese, I'm far from an expert on the Japanese language, but it looked quite similar.
My name just basically means Space mage <.<
Guess that'll answer Pinkie's question if they can blow up twice.
Hopefully Discord won't shovel himself down Sheogorath's throat any time soon.
If Discord was gunning for a cute cat noise he certainly did it.
7701791 And don't forget the exploding chickens and ass-shouts. Those are a must-have in this kind of situation.
On wards to hilarity and the ever expected feels- and a few possible unexpected ones- of a Tatsurou story, along with who knows what else!
i.makeagif.com/media/2-29-2016/yl2Gq6.gif
we're doomed.
7702027 YOSH*
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From what media is Sheogorath from? Also, when are we going to get an Adopted Displaced fic for Sunset Shimmer or Flash Sentry?
7702231
The Elder Scrolls games.
Sunset Shimmer will be going to Star Fox.
Flash Sentry will not be getting a PWNY story. He doesn't meet the prerequisites.
As for when...whenever I have an empty story slot and feel like writing them. And the more a specific story gets pushed, the less I feel like writing it due to the pressure it puts on me.
Ohmigoshohmigoshogmigoshohmigoshogmigosh.......
Best pairing ever except for Cady and Iroh!
Oh come on Sheogorath... you're my favorite Daedric prince! i hoard cheese!
but ATLA is the best tv show ever and Iroh is one of my favorite characters...
The premise alone makes me grin gleefully.
I'll just be sitting over here with my trained Attack Kitten and a bottle of applejack.
7701989 Hmm, true. I mean, if I recall Jyggy just kind of dicked off after Shivering Isles
7702241
Boo! But yay to everything else.
Being a massive fan of the Elder Scrolls, may I say you couldnt've done better when choosing what character to play with whom. Like, you could've done Hermeous Mora with Twilight, or Merhunez Dagon with Sombra, but this just....
Yes......
Well there goes my sanity. Keep up the good work and keep being awesome.
great, just great I just got done repairing the 4th wall after Chrysalis and Pinkie went at it now I have to switch out the plywood for battleship steel.
hopefully it doesn't get turned into peanut butter this time.
Hello my old friend Insanity, we meet again.