New Beginnings
Discord smiled to himself as he floated through the streets of Equestria, which town he wasn't completely sure. It had been quite some time since the 'peace treaty' between Oblivion and Equestria, as Celestia had eventually filed the agreement, and many unusual events had happened to his new Equestrian friends. For the most part, however, Discord had stayed out of them, letting them handle such things and grow from them on their own.
Admittedly, a few had caught his attention to the point he'd hung around munching popcorn. The wedding of Shining Armor - Twilight's BBBFF - to Princess Cadenza originally had been of no real interest to him, right up until Twilight managed to reveal that the Cadence Shining appeared to be marrying was actually Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings. The end result had been...entertaining.
Chrysalis finished her monologue, explaining herself and her reasons for being there, and having just finished declaring that nopony present could stop her. She started to turn to demonstrate just how much magical power she had now...only to go flying across the room as something hard and heavy slammed into her gut.
When she got back to her hooves, she found herself face to face with an angry adolescent dragon clutching a rather heavy war hammer. She'd seen the dragon earlier, but he'd been in a suit and she'd taken him for a tame pet. Now, however... "Where did you get that armor?" she asked in confusion.
Smirking, Spike finished donning his helmet. "Was wearing it under my suit. When Twilight started ranting, I didn't know if she was on the right track or just being paranoid...but I did figure something was going to happen."
"And you think I fear you?" Chrysalis snapped angrily.
"You should," Spike chuckled wickedly. "And you would...if you knew where my egg came from."
"Why's that?" Chrysalis demanded harshly.
"Because it even scares Discord," Spike responded, spinning his warhammer.
Celestia stepped up to Spike's side. "Twilight, I will help Spike hold her here. Take the others and fetch the Elements-"
The sound of an unsheathed sword drew all attention. Applejack clutched Goldbrand in her mouth. Rainbow's Razor hovered around her at her will. Pinkie waved Sanguine's Rose, summoning a slavering monster the likes of which Chrysalis had never seen before. Fluttershy was hefting a massive greatblade nearly bigger than her, and Rarity shaping a bow out of her magic. "I think we'd rather fight," Twilight observed as she reached into a card catalogue and pulled out a tome that positively reeked with magical power.
"...Mommy..." Chrysalis whimpered softly.
Discord chuckled at the memory. That hadn't been a battle, it had been a rout! The Changelings had come, saw what the group had done to their queen, and surrendered en masse.
However, that also brought up a memory that was somewhere between unpleasant and disturbing. Not long before the wedding, the Dragon Migration had passed over Ponyville, and Spike had decided to follow - alone - to learn more about what it meant to be an Equestrian dragon. Discord had followed along to observe, and saw Spike make a huge impression on the dragons in his age group, quickly being welcomed into the fold of a group of youngsters...at least until the bragging competition kicked in. Young dragons generally didn't have that much in the way of exploits or hoards yet, so the bragging was mostly about the antics of their ancestors. Learning how important lineage was to dragons, Spike had felt depressed that he didn't know anything about his own ancestry.
Feeling for the dragonling, Discord had volunteered to use his powers to determine the names of his ancestors. It had appeared on a parchment scroll, the entire family tree going back five generations on the mother's side. Spike had been confused that nothing went back beyond that on his father's side...or at least, nothing legible. It appeared something about the names beyond refused to be seen. Discord had been confused too...until he saw the name his magic had inscribed as Spike's father, the only name legibly visible.
Alduin
...well, hearing about the old boy's eventual return, Discord had been wondering where he'd been all this time. Apparently, Discord didn't have a monopoly on Aurbis-Equestria transitions.
Discord hadn't bothered to investigate the events of the Crystal Empire's return. The moment Twilight had been told where she was going, she'd checked Mora's library for anything related to that place, and knew exactly what she was getting into before she left. That took all the fun out of it, from Discord's perspective.
Witnessing Twilight turn into an alicorn had set Discord howling with laughter for several weeks...especially once Hermaeus Mora learned that his 'mortal superior' would no longer be dying off to let control of the Realm revert back to him anytime soon. His howls of frustration had been most entertaining.
Discord's thoughts came to a screeching halt as he felt the local magical fields suffer a massive upheaval, originating very nearby. Curious, Discord flowed over to the source...only to see a wizened, hooded centaur draining the magic out of a unicorn. "Now that's not part of one of my games," he observed irritably, floating up to the two figures. "And it's breaking my rules."
The centaur's eyes widened under his hood. "D-Discord!" he gasped out in surprise. "You're...free?"
"It seems my reputation precedes myself," Discord observed dryly. "Now...who might you be?" As the centaur opened his mouth, Discord held up a single talon. "In twenty words or less, I'm a busy King."
"King?" the figure gasped out in shock. "Wait, do you mean you have conquered? I do not understand! How could I have missed something so important-"
"That's 20, bored now, reading your mind." Stepping forward, Discord flipped the creature's head open, extracted a book, and proceeded to flip through it while the figure stood slackjawed. After a time, he dropped the book back in the empty skull and closed it. "Ah, Tirek. Magic eater, here to steal all the magic of Equestria. Sorry, no dice, I'm not letting you ruin my playground. Besides, it seems some of my friends are counted amongst your primary prey."
"Friends? With ponies?" Tirek gasped out. "I must say...I'm surprised someone of your intellect does not see such friendship for what it truly is...but a new form of imprisonment. Surely you've had to-"
Discord burst into laughter. "Oh goodness, you're actually trying to play a mind game on me? That's adorable!" He hovered over to Tirek. "Let me reintroduce myself. Discord, Daedric Prince of Madness, Daedric King of Oblivion, and Game Master of Equestria. And you, my little nuisance, are a piece that does not belong in my games." Seeing the look of absolute terror on Tirek's face, he grinned widely. "But I'll give you one chance in a billion. Good luck." With a snap of his talons, he sent Tirek away, where he had no idea...just nowhere related to Equestria.
As he floated away, however, he felt his entire body shiver. Something had just gone horribly wrong. Pulling out a cell phone, he quickly sent a text message.
DKD: Yo, Akky? I just felt a massive shake in the timestream. Any idea where I sent Tirek?
It wasn't long before he received a message back...the symbol for infinity, followed by a weed emoji. Discord sent a response.
DKD: Eeyikes! That's a bit beyond my reach, and could really come back to bite me in the hindquarters. It's not smart to mess with any Set of Six, and Tirek's magic draining spell doesn't have an upper limit. ...gonna need to unlock this world's Six, but the safeties there are insane! How am I going to get enough...
DKD: Say, Akky, think you could help me set up something crazy?
It wasn't long before Akatosh sent back a thumbs up. With a wide grin, Discord warped back to Ponyville.
It didn't take long for Discord to gather Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Spike together in the Ponyville Library. "Friends, something rather dangerous has occurred. It appears that Tirek has found his way to another area of reality, where he may get access to power the likes of which Equestria has never seen...and I need to act to ensure Equestria has something to counter him with when he finds his way back here."
"How are you going to do that?" Spike asked worriedly.
"By doing something crazy," Discord explained.
"Ooh, I like crazy!" Pinkie piped up happily.
"I'm going to shatter Equestria's timeline," Discord explained.
"That's insane!" Twilight gasped out in abject terror.
"Told you," Discord countered. "See, in order to unlock the full potential of one of the Elements of Harmony, it requires the energies of an entire coalesced timeline...which means I'm going to need separate timelines for each of you, woven together to create the world Tirek will find when he returns. Of course, Twilight's taught me the value in redundancy, so I'm going to make a lot of extras, just to get that much extra muscle in case something doesn't work out. I've already selected a bunch of Tankorites-"
"Of what?" Applejack demanded, confused.
"Temporal anchorites, try to keep up," Discord explained. "Anyway, when I shatter the timeline, Akatosh is going to pour enough raw time energy into Equestria to create separate timelines for every Tankorite, and sending them off to gather power in other worlds so we have more than enough force to deal with whatever Tirek brings back to bear. Once all the timelines are complete and the Elements awakened, I'll weave them back together and tie it all up in a neat bow. Any questions?"
"Far too many..." Twilight murmured worriedly.
"Any questions that take less than 20 words to voice?" Discord clarified.
"Are we gonna remember this timeline?" Pinkie asked worriedly, clutching Sanguine's Rose to her barrel.
"Not until you all meet me again in the fused loop," Discord answered warmly. "But once there, you'll remember. And the fused loop will bring a lot more memories than that. For now..." He lifted his Mad Psijic. "Hold onto something!" He slammed the point of his staff into the floor.
And Equestria shattered.
Floating in the Quagmire, Discord made a careful count of the timelines that were slowly spinning themselves upon the looms. "One, two, three...at least twenty-two in all. More than I anticipated. I'll have my work cut out for me balancing this all when I weave it all together."
"I'm certain you'll manage," Vaermina purred softly.
"Or somebody will," Discord countered. "Honestly, I'm thinking of finding some imaginative being from beyond the fourth dimension to subcontract it all out to. They're good at crafting worlds, and half the time they don't even realize what they're making is real somewhere in the lower planes. Heck, half the time they don't even know there are lower planes."
"Make sure it's one with a twisted sense of humor," Vaermina teased.
"There are other kinds?" Discord asked playfully. He then floated over to the strange contraption Vaermina had been paying so much attention to. "What's this, anyway?" he asked curiously. "It looks like a crib."
"That's what it is," Vaermina pointed out dryly.
"But cribs are for holding babies," Discord countered logically.
"And we've got two," Vaermina explained simply.
"...since when?" Discord asked, his voice having gone very soft.
"About an hour real time, a week or so relativistic time," Vaermina explained. "Akatosh dumping so much time into your Equestria project had a bit of a ripple effect. Come take a look at our twin girls. I haven't named them yet...but you should be able to tell which is the eldest."
Smiling, Discord peeked over the edge of the crib...and his face fell off. Inside the crib were two alicorn foals. The white one with the pink mane was noticeably larger than the blue one. "Twisted sense of humor indeed," Discord observed in wonder.
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Indeed?
You should.
WELL then.
That does sound funny.
As a bird.
I understood that reference.
I don't get it.
Come again?
Luna and Celestia as fillies?
Well, sorry Tats, but I gotta agree with Discord. Sometimes, you have a twisted sense of humor, which is the best kind of humor. And I suppose we know who the "ultimate villian" is now, huh?
8005784
Luna and Celestia...as newborns.
8005787
Right, gotcha.
That 4th wall breach and stab at yourself was well done. And Discord causing the entire PWNY-verse is certainly a nice link and wrap-up all in one.
Perfect.... time has been shattered and reshaped... this will be interesting
huh . . .
that's it no skyrim hyjinks?
Tats? Did Discord commission you to handle the strain of all these "Time Loops" currently called your PWNY stories?
Oh THAT is going to take some getting used to for those two when things are back to "normal". Eh, Normal's boring. Join the Crazy Side. They have Cookies, Beer and Cheese. And possibly CheeseCAKE as well.
And of course, of f-
-king COURSE Discord is the cause of the displacements. I mean, whenever some crazy reality bending/warping/destruction is involved, so is he, 25 times out of kumquot. I get the feeling that when all the Displaced ponies (and 1 dragon and 1 griffon and 1 changeling) get back they're going to have some choice words for him, a fair number of those words including violence, parties, and 4th degree interdimmensional warp f-
-kery.
That said, anyone mind grabbing Dante!Applejack? I think her particular brand of expertise will be needed soon for the copious amounts of alcohol that will inevitably be called for. I mean I don't drink but I know quite of few others will be...
And the PWNYverse is born.
Edit:
peeked
.........Whelp I was right about the effect coming before the cause just wrong about the triggering timeline.
no wonder discord's so afraid of where spike's egg came from!
going to have to do a pwnyverse story count now... might be room for more characters....eh ill count later
You just made... How long have you... You magnificent fucking bastard.
8005820 Checking TVTropes, 23 universes, 17 have stories atm and 6 are unstarted. At least 2 universes are unaccounted for atm, maybe 3 depending whether or not Discord is counting his own. If he meant characters other then himself then everyone is accounted for due to Vinyl/Octavia sharing one and the CMC sharing one.
8005864 thanks for the help. im stuck with my only net being a 360
Ok, I get that Discord basically causes the PWNY events to happen, by breaking reality. All good. QUESTION! What are all 25? I've only come up with 15 of them so far.
Wow, what a shattering revelation from Discord. Let's just hope that Tirek will get fully PWNYed later on when it all comes together. I can probably imagine Discord's kids are gonna be like night and day.
8005872
I get the feeling we will find out what the other 10 are after Tatsurou completes the current stories he is doing.
And thinking about it, I am getting the feeling that the final PWNYverse story is going to end up being like the upcoming "Avengers: Infinity War" movie.
8005872
I got the number wrong. It's actually 22 universes.
Sparkle in His Eye
Technological Technicolor Technomare
Dante's Little Apple Surprise
My Little Killing Machine
Dressed to Steal
Three More Things
Sons of Damas
Heart of the Dragon General
Wily's Wittle Wub/Melody of the Future (one timeline between them)
On the Corner of Straight and Narrow
There's Nopony I'd Rather Be Than Me
The Merc With The Moth
Another Hatchling
Batmare Beyond
You Can't Spell Slaughter Without Laughter
Fortresshy
Those are the ones already written. There are six more planned. They are
Between Darkness and Light (Sombra in Final Fantasy 4)
The Little Angel (Derpy in Dirty Pair Flash)
Celestia's Log (Celestia in ST:TNG)
My Own Wings (Sunset in Star Fox)
*As Yet Unnamed* (Big Mac in DBZ Abridged)
Mother X: Father (Moondancer in the Mother sequence)
8005895 Oh i can not wait for the Big mac one. I may need to buy a coffin if im gonna read that.
8005895
orig12.deviantart.net/e294/f/2012/035/d/c/twilight_spittake_by_betweenfriends-d4ol7tw.jpg
All of my Yes!
Man this is some Avengers level buildup shit!
8005823 lol, The Cat In The Hat Comes Back
I can't say I'm surprised. I actually predicted a while ago that this particular incarnation of Discord caused all of the PWNY stuff. You're still a mad genius.
:rainbow wild: TATS, YOU MAGNIFICENT B
RD, YOU GAVE THE PWNIES A PREQUEL!
Finally we have a proper explanation as to how all these stories will be properly tied together, literary.
I knew there was no way they were all a part of the same timeline, so I was really dreading the idea that I wouldn't be pleased with how it was all supposed to be resolved in the end. I am glad that I no longer have to worry.
well...I'm gonna say it now...called it
Ah, yes. A Dragon Break. Of all of the lore handwaves in video games, the Dragon Breaks of The Elder Scrolls are perhaps the most awesome.
...and now Twilight is going to complain about MORE Timey Wimey shenanigans messing with her own personal timeline.
8005895
*Long slow blink* The Mother Trilogy? As in Ninten, Ness, and Lucas? Giygas the antagonist for two games, and may or may not be the Dark Dragon in the third? That Mother sequence?
So . . . Discord was the cause of these Displaced fictions we have been reading right now?
Great job, Discord! I owned you all these entertaining stories I have read.
I hope I could thank you when the loop are finally fused and closed for real.
So basically Discord is equivalent to the Flash, redoing everyone's timeline/backstory
.... Holy shit! This is basically the equivalent to a prequel of all the avengers movies including the very start of SHIELD and the avengers initiative.
Tats you MAGNIFICENT bastard... I'm going to have to get back to reading your works at this pace...
8005895 hoolyyyyyy shiiiet... I've got a bit of a sudden backlog, been cherry picking which ones I read until now XD
8005895 I Think I have A Title Idea for the Big Mac one.
DBM Abridged: Dragon Ball Mac Abridged
8006096 Or how about, "Not what I meant when I asked for a Big Mac..." Three guesses who would say that.
8006096
Good name.
My own name choices are Mac-onball Z Abridged or Dragonball Z Macbridged.
MY MIND IS FULL OF BUCK AND I LOVE IT!!
that explains alot.
Bravo, bravo, bravissim--wait. Waaaait a minute.
WELL HI THERE, Q.
But well done, well done indeed! I'll admit, I was wondering where this would all tie into the PWNYverse, but I'm surprised it tied in there.
And thus my suspicions are confirmed, and it all comes full circle. Tats, you magnificent bastard,I read your books!
shit- just got interesting. this gonna be good
Oh for the mother bucking insanity. Why am I not surprised that Discord was responsible for everything. Now I am scared for when Rainbow Dash returns. She is a Prince and has her armor plus isn't she a citizen of Asgard through some way as well? I think the backup groups are not going to be pleased when they find out the who, the what, and the why is everything so messed up.
Now who comes next is the real question?
Holy Bucking Crap!
Insert Star Wars reference here.
Seriously, this is a great story. Though I can't help but wonder what happens now? Will Spike become the Dragonborn and defeat his father, Alduin? What will be the Mane Six's new realities?
Gah! So many questions that my mind blew up!
I was not drunk enough for today.
8005787 I take it you took the commission.
8006095 You and me both
Omg you need to write a timeline where spike ends up with the dragonborn and helps defeat his father alduin!