//------------------------------// // I'm the Leader of Equestria, AMA // Story: Awful Lot of Coffee in Equestria // by NorrisThePony //------------------------------// "So... wait, it's good?" "Yes, Auntie," Cadance said, giggling a little as Celestia peered at the glowing device. "Congratulations, you are officially on the Ponynet." "Dumb name," Luna said offhandedly, aimlessly stirring her pitch-black coffee. "Doesn't even make sense." "Shush, shush!" Celestia cast a glance in Luna's direction, and then looked back at the glowing tablet device in front of her. Cadance had brought it, and though most of her instructions had seemed meaningless syllables to Celestia, eventually she was able to derive some sort of meaning from what her younger niece was saying. "I'm about to submit the Eh Mah." "The what now?" "AMA?" Celestia said again. "That is what it is called?" "A.M.A. It's an acronym, auntie. Ask Me Anything." Celestia blinked. "A-anything?" "Y'know. Within reason." "Cadance. I am a little skeptical such 'reason' will be obeyed." "Oh, stop worrying!" Luna cut in. "It will be fun!" Luna's horn flared, and before Celestia could protest, the thread had been posted to the Ponynet for the entire electronically inclined version of their nation to see. Silence. "Nothing is happening." Luna said. "Are we uninteresting to them?" "For goodness sake, Luna, give it a moment." Cadance replied, rolling her eyes. Then, the smaller little hell-rectangle in her purse let out a little chirrup, and she smiled. "Here we go! You have your first question! It's for you, Luna!" Luna leaned forwards, her eyes alight with curiosity. "Ooooh?!" "What product do you use for your mane, Princess Luna?" Cadance read aloud. "I've tried everything, but I can't get the same free-flowing hold whatever gel you use does." "Ah! That is simple, my faithful subject! The answer is, I make my own mane gel!" She ran a hoof through her mane. Cadance and Celestia gawked in disgust. "I'm, uh. Writing Stableline, Luna." Cadance shook her head. "Ooh, another one! Celly, you're up!" Celestia leaned forward expectantly, peering down at the device on the table in front of her as she read it along with Cadance. "Princess Celestia, your love of tea is quite common knowledge. What is your favourite flavour, and why?" "An excellent question, my little pony!" Celestia beamed. "Though it is one that very much depends on the time of day, weather conditions, and my own general mood at least as much as the flavour of the tea itself. You see, there are different flavours that compliment different moods... when I am relaxing with a book, unwinding after a stressful day, I find that the muted, subtle aroma of camomille or lavender work wonders at easing my mood. You see, most herbal teas contain a chemical compound called epigallocatechin gallate, or EPCG, which has been found by various studies to induce a calmer state of mind. Though, part of me wonders if that is simply a result of the context one drinks tea during, since it isn't often one drinks tea in a stressful environment. Though, that being said, I have found stronger teas, like oolongs, earl greys, or peppermint... or ones with a sweet and fruity taste such as hibiscus, to be rather helpful in easing me comfortably into my morning routine, as opposed to easing me back out of my hectic daily routine. So, as much as I would like to say that camomille or lavender are my favourite, it is in some sense facetious since it sort of does a disservice to other teas that are a vital component of helping me handle the day in a productive way early in the morning." Celestia blushed when she realized she'd been ranting, and she did her best to salvage it with a nervous little grin. "I hope that answers your question!" Luna and Cadance shared a glance. "Auntie, you hit the wordcount at the first 'camomille', so I'm just gonna put that." Cadance facehoofed. "Ooh, oh, another for Luna! Princess Luna, I've been your biggest fan since your return..." Luna beamed, and Celestia gave her sister a proud smile. "...My question is... Would you ever consider going on a date with me?" Luna's smile dropped. Celestia stifled a giggle. "There's, uh. A few of these for Luna, actually." Cadance offered, helpfully. "Some are more, uh. Graphic than others. This upstanding fella asked for 'hoof pics.' I'm gonna skip past these now and purge them from my brain. We cool with that?" Luna said nothing, but nodded her head rapidly. "Oh, one for me! Princess Cadance... you were quite young when you were crowned a Princess. I'm about to go away to Magical School and I'm quite worried because I'm going to be the youngest in my class. My question is... was being a young Princess stressful, and if so, how did you cope?'" Cadance nodded her head a few times as she dictated. "Oh, doi, it was totally stressful. It still is, but I've also got the best support group ever, a dorky and selectively competent hubby I love, and tons of experience. Don't worry so much and confront things head on when they come. That's the Princess of Love strategy." Celestia smiled at Cadance pridefully, then, she glanced at her tablet and an excited grin split across her face. "Oh, oh! A question for both Luna and I!" Luna peered over eagerly, too, and read it aloud. "Dear Royal Sisters... what's one embarrassing thing about the other that they don't know that you know?" Luna's grin turned predatory. "Celestia's mane becomes grey if she doesn't dye it every few months." Celestia scowled. "Yeah, well, Luna, Spike, Queen Chrysalis, and The Great and Powerful Trixie get together in secret to play Ogres & Oubliettes together every Friday night. Luna's character is a black and red alicorn-thestral hybrid who is a vampire mage that calls themselves Ebony Darkhorn." Luna's predatory grin turned to an embarrased glare, and she blew her mane out of her face with a 'hrmph!'. Cadance snickered. "That's adorable, Luna. Oh, oh! Another one for Celestia! Are you secretly a tyrant in disguise? I'm onto you if you are." "Damn. I am found out." Celestia threw her hooves up, rolling her eyes. "The evidence is truly piled against me, and clearly the revolution is nigh." "Alright, alright." Cadance was grinning, shaking her head at her aunt's antics. "Uh, one for the three of us, from a clearly anonymous BookloverTSparks. They, uh. Want to know why they weren't invited to this." "Damn it." Celestia hit the table with a hoof. "Tell her we'll get her for the sequel."