The Boopening

by MaxBeezy


Booping Discord

I have to find her. I have to find Queen Chrysalis.

There’s so much I have to say to her. Actually, there’s so much I have to ask her. Why does she feel the way that she does for me? If this was ongoing, why didn’t she tell me sooner? Why did she look so sad after she kissed me? Well, yeah, she absorbed what I was feeling for her at that exact moment, but it was to help her live. I don’t think it’s grounds for feeling sad, but I have to ask her for clarification.

I also have to tell her how I feel. After saying bye to A.K Yearling, all I could think about was Queen Chrysalis. Every single step to Ponyville, my mind has been crowded by thoughts about what happened. That kiss. That amazing kiss. I should feel weird about this. A changeling, hell, a being of a different species locked lips with my own…and I was fine with that.

Is this what’s called “going native?” I’ve seen it in movies, where the guy goes to another part of the world, or a different planet, and falls for a female member of the indigenous population. There’s always that one guy, usually the villain, that goes “You aren’t going native, are you?” Only, there is no character that is asking this question. I’m asking myself.

Since nothing bad is going to happen if I answer that question…then…yeah…I suppose I am.

Still, the fact of the matter is that I have to find her. The problem is…I don’t know where to look.

But I know someone who does.

I take the train to Canterlot, where I hope to see Princess Celestia. I haven’t been to Canterlot before, but I hear it’s rather nice. If it’s anything like Princess Twilight’s castle, I think it won’t be much of a problem when it comes to looks and decor. Hopefully, Princess Celestia won’t find my sudden appearance intrusive. After all, evening is approaching, and she could be getting ready for bed while her sister Princess Luna is waking up for her shift.

The sun is still up when I get off the train to Canterlot. That train ride didn’t take as long as I thought it would be. All in all, it was a pleasant trip, though I did get a few confused stares by ponies who had never seen me before. Can’t say I blame them.

Wow, Canterlot looks amazing. It’s like a classic kingdom one would see in a story like King Arthur, with the architecture of the place reminding me of Camelot.

Wait a second. Camelot…Canterlot…ah….I see what you did there, Equestria. No time for random thoughts, I have to see the Princess.

I make it to the front of Canterlot Castle, where I am greeted by a dozen Royal Guards, all pointing their swords at me with their magic. Yikes. This isn’t the warm welcome I was expecting. I raise my hands up to show that I am unarmed and mean no harm.

“Halt!” one guard asks. Seems kind of a useless command; I’m already halted. “State your business, creature!”

“I’m here to see the Princess. I have…” must sound regal, must sound regal… “I have urgent news that requires her immediate attention!” Nailed it. I think.

“Nopony sees the Princess! Not no way, not no how!” he replies back. I am immediately reminded of the Wizard of Oz. Also, that’s stupid. I saw the Princess without even asking for her. All she had to do was poke her head out of some bushes and wriggle her rump around, and suddenly I got to meet her.

“Holster your weapons!” A voice calls out. All the Guards turn around to see Princess Celestia walk down the steps towards us. The Guards comply, putting away their weapons, and bowing before her. Princess Celestia walks up to me. “I’m surprised to see you here. Now that you’ve arrived, perhaps you can help me with something.”

“Actually, I need your help with something.”

“You do? What is it?”

“It’s Queen Chrysalis. I need your help in locating her.”

The Guards murmur around us after I said her name. Guess they’re still sour over some past events. Princess Celestia looks at me, worried, but also gives me a nod. She gestures me to follow her, so I do.

I follow her to her chambers, where no one should interrupt us. Once Princess Celestia closes the door, she turns to me with the same worried expression she showed earlier.

“What’s the matter?” she asks me in a caring tone “Did something happen to Chrysalis? Did she do something to you?”

“Not in the way you might be thinking. I’m not hurt or anything. The thing is…she…”

Before I can say anything, suddenly, Princess Luna comes bursting into the room, with a look of panic on her face. “Dear Sister! It’s Chrysalis! I think…” she stops talking when she sees me in the room. “You!” she looks at me angrily. What did I do? “What have you done to Chrysalis? She is in pain, and it’s all because of you!”

“What?!” I say “What do you mean she’s in pain? Where is she? I have to see her!” I’m panicking, too. Chrysalis in pain? No! That’s not what I want to hear! “Is she in the castle?”

“She’s not in the castle.” Princess Luna says “She is asleep, and I sensed her dreams. They are of you. You are yelling at her. Shunning her. Calling her a monster. What did you do to get her in such a state?!” Her tone is frightening and accusatory. Why would I ever talk to Queen Chrysalis like that? That’s preposterous!

“I didn’t do anything!” I reply. That might have been a bit of a fib. I should come clean. “Well…except…” Princess Luna’s eyes narrow, getting angrier. Princess Celestia just looks confused, but also curious. “I just got back from seeing A.K.Yearling, who’s also Daring Do, but that’s neither here nor there. Anyway, we were on an adventure, and I saw Queen Chrysalis get hurt, and I helped her, and that’s when she told me about the whole love absorption thing, and I asked if I could do anything to help, while also complementing her, and then she kissed me.”

Anger leaves Princess Luna, and it’s replaced by her jaw hitting the floor. Princess Celestia is the exact same way. It’s a bit funny, but I have no time to laugh. “She…kissed you?” Princess Celestia asks. I nod. “How was it?” A bit blunt, but I’ll answer that.

“It was…amazing.” I say truthfully. “I know that’s a bit weird to hear, since…you know.” I gesture to all of me, pointing out my human-ness. “But, then she absorbed the love I was feeling. Before I could say anything, she apologized and flew away.”

“That’s why she must be feeling this way.” Princess Luna says, probably to herself, but loud enough for me to hear. “She feels guilty about absorbing your love, and now she thinks you hate her for it.”

“Which is the exact opposite.” I chime in. “I need to find her to tell her how I feel.”

“And how do you feel?” Princess Celestia wonders.

“That…I love her!”

Silence permeates the room. Princess Celestia’s lips curl into a smile. “Well…it’s about time you figured that out.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Chrysalis has been in love with you for quite some time, now.” Princess Luna says bluntly. “When we first met, I told you that Chrysalis had been having pleasant dreams about you. They were…on the romantic side…to say the least.”

“To say the least?” I tilt my head to the right “How romantic are we talking about?”

“Well, there were some soft whispers, kissing, cuddling, groping, se…”

“Woah!” I interrupt. “Really?!”

“Pretty much.” she blushes “It was quite sweet…if also a bit lewd. But this isn’t important right now. What’s important is that you need to find Chrysalis and tell her how you feel. You know she feels the same way, now it’s your turn.”

“But, that’s why I came here. I don’t know where to look.”

“We do.” Princess Celestia nods. “We know where she resides, but there is a bit of a problem. Our teleportation magic only goes so far. Whenever we get close to Chrysalis’ lair, we are thrown quite a distance away.”

“Then, send me as close as possible, and I’ll walk it.”

“If we sent you ourselves, you would be making quite a journey. However, we do know someone who can get you a little bit closer.” Princess Celestia smirks, looking behind me. “And he’s right behind you.”

“Behind?” I ask. Before I could question this further, I feel a hand rest on my left shoulder. I look to see what looks like a lion’s paw resting on me, giving my shoulder a squeeze. I should react in a cool and calm… “AHHHH!” I scream. Screw it.

I turn around to see a creature I have never seen before. He looks like the unholy child of a messed up group love session. A deer antler on the left, a goat horn on the right, a lion’s paw, an eagle’s claw, a goat’s leg, a dragon’s leg, a long body like a snake but covered in fur, and a single fang protruding from his mouth. This guy is all over the place.

“Oh my, you scream like a little filly.” the creature looks at me in disappointment. “I haven’t the slightest clue about what makes him so appealing to the mares.” He speaks in such a smug tone, that I kind of feel like I want to punch him. Should I punch him? I probably shouldn’t, especially if he’s the key to getting me closer to Queen Chrysalis’ lair. “Is it because you stand on two legs? I stand on two legs, and I am not drawing in the lovely ladies in the slightest.”

“There are many reasons why that hasn’t happened, Discord.” Princess Luna rolls her eyes. Sassy.

Discord, huh? That’s his name? Makes sense, since his whole body seems to represent that quite accurately. Oh, he seems to have stopped with his snide tone, and is now staring at me rather angrily. Is there something I did?


“So, you’re the one who’s going to help me find Queen Chrysalis?” I ask.

“Perhaps. Though, honestly, I really shouldn’t be helping you. I come home from a long day of being me, when I see my beloved Fluttershy in bed with Applejack and Rainbow Dash! At first, I didn’t think anything of it, but when I asked her why she was in such a state she said that YOU BOOPED HER!” Discord jabs at my chest with his dragon claw. Ow. “You booped MY Fluttershy? And now you are asking for me to help YOU find Queen Chrysalis?! Have you no shame?”

“Ummm…” I turn to Princess Celestia and whisper “Does he know what booping is?”

“Yes.”

“Then, why is he so mad?”

“I can hear you! Just because you whisper does not mean I am suddenly deaf!” Yeesh, he really does sound peeved.

“Oh, right. Sorry. I mean…I’m not sorry for booping Fluttershy, but I am sorry that you’re angry. But, if you know what booping is…WHY are you angry with me?”

“Because she wouldn’t demonstrate it to me!” He yells. Suddenly, he blushes after saying it. “I-I mean…well…if she doesn’t demonstrate it…how would I be able to please her if I decide to do it, myself?”

“So…you’re not angry with me?”

“Of course I’m angry with you. I come home to see my darling Fluttershy in the company of two other ponies and I WASN’T invited? Who WOULDN’T want to invite me to something like that?”

“I can think of a few…” Princess Celestia says softly to herself, but I can hear her.

“I’m angry with you, because YOU…THE HUMAN…managed to get involved in something that I had been trying to for months.”

“Hey, we didn’t do any lewd stuff, if that’s what you’re implying.”

“So, you weren’t surrounded by beautiful mares cuddling your shirtless body?” Discord stares at me with a cocked eyebrow.

“Oh…um…” I see Princess Celestia and Princess Luna blushing, but also smiling as if they were proud of my quote on quote accomplishment. “Well…yeah, that happened.”

“My point is, that I want you to teach me all about this…booping." he makes air quotes as he says 'booping.' "If you do, I might consider helping you.”

“I suppose that can be arranged. Quick question, though. What were you doing in Princess Celestia’s room?”

“I was planning on turning that lamp into a snake to scare her. She’s deathly afraid of snakes.”

“I-I am not!” Princess Celestia says with a flustered look. “That is nothing but nonsense. It’s Luna who is afraid of snakes!”

“Tis a lie!” Princess Luna asserts with a hoof stomp. “Princess Luna is a friend to all creatures, including snakes! I am not afraid of such slithery beasts!”

The two Princesses start to bicker and argue amongst themselves, trying to convince each other that neither of them are afraid of snakes. I’m starting to think that the longer they argue, the less convincing they are in trying to sway me into thinking that they’re not afraid of snakes. Discord taps me on the shoulder, gesturing that we go outside to leave them alone. Might as well, we’re getting nowhere with this.

Discord snaps his fingers and WOAH!


We’re suddenly in a garden after a brief flash of light. He can teleport with the snap of his fingers? That’s amazing! Discord polishes his eagle claws with smug satisfaction. Yeah, yeah, it’s impressive, no need to grow an ego about it.

“Where are we?” I ask.

“We’re in the castle gardens. It’ll help us chat as we are away from those bickering Princesses.” He points upwards, directing me to the window up above, where I can see Princess Celestia and Princess Luna arguing amongst themselves. “Now then, about this booping thing.”

“Right. What would you like me to do, exactly?”

“Why, teach me, of course! My darling Fluttershy wouldn’t show me, so I had to go straight to the master, himself.”

“You want me to teach you how to boop? Wow, okay. And you will take me to Queen Chrysalis, right?”

“I told you. I’ll consider it.” he replies dismissively. Not much of an assurance, but if it’s a chance, then it’s a chance I’ll have to take. “Now, get on with it.”

“Alright. First, you have to get a bit lower and face me.” Discord gets lower, facing me face to face. “Here’s what you have to do. You take your hand.” I raise my right hand, while he raises his eagle claw hand. Hmm…that might be troublesome. “Actually, can you raise your hand with the lion paw? It might be a bit more cuddly.” He does so, but not before rolling his eyes. You want help or not? “Anyway, you bring it to a pointing position…” I point my finger at his nose. “And then…gently…prod her nose.”

“Prod her nose?”

“Yeah, like this.” I boop Discord on the nose. He looks at my finger with widened eyes, like he’s shocked that I would do such a thing with little hesitation. “This is what booping is like.”

“It is?” he raises an eyebrow, still looking at my finger. “How many times do you do it?”

“Well…it depends. On a trial run, I boop the nose about ten times. Like this.” I boop Discord’s nose some more. Each one as soft as the last, just to make sure he gets the message to be gentle when booping Fluttershy. Hey, he looks like he likes it. I can see a smile. “For some advanced techniques, when you rest your finger on her muzzle…” I do so “…you just as gently slide it up her bridge.”

I perform the technique. He eyes continue to follow my finger, as if studying it like a classmate whole wants to do really well on the school final. At the same time, I see his long body sway around in a relaxed state. I think he’s digging this.

“Oh my…” Discord says, “This is what made Fluttershy so submissive?”

“Submissive isn’t the right word. In fact, she became a bit more…not like herself. It was her that helped move me to the bed, and started crawling all over me.”

“Ah, so…dominant?”

“You could say that. Are you enjoying this?”

“Very much so. I can see why you are so popular with the mares. I’m also surprised that you are doing this so willingly for a male.”

“It’s not like you’re giving me much of a choice. You’re my only hope of getting to Queen Chrysalis.”

“You must really care for her, then.”

“I do. I’ve always cared about her, but now…I care about her even more than normal.” I see Discord chuckle at my words. He must find them amusing. “Okay, here’s one final technique. I didn’t try this on Fluttershy, because I didn’t think she’d be ready for it, but I’ll show it to you.”

“Oooh-ho-ho-ho!” he squeals in delight “I like this! A super secret technique? I better prepare myself!”

With a snap of his fingers, Discord suddenly transforms into…a…um…female version of himself, I guess? Aside from his more feminine face, he has a curvier body, and that small bit of chest fluff is now more pronounced, looking…kind of like a bosom. Weird.

“Umm…what is this?”

“This is my sultry form. I call her Eris. You like it?” he replies in that same male voice.

“Not with that voice. You’re kind of ruining the illusion.”

“Oh…” with another snap of his fingers, the voices changes into something more seductive. “How about this?” That voice is…is kind of amazing. I feel sorry for the poor pony that gets fooled by that.

“If I didn’t see you change into this form, I would be fooled.” I chuckle, but then retain my focus. “Okay, so…this is what you do. You boop her nose…” I boop Eris’ nose. “…you slide up her bridge…” I slide up her bridge “…you keep going, and wrap your hand around her ear…” I do it “and…you scratch.”

I start scratching Eris’ ear. Suddenly, her back leg kicks violently, much like Dragon Lord Ember's did, and her tongue lols out with drool dropping on the ground. Woah, that’s a pretty strong reaction. I don’t think she’s…he’s…she’s even stressed out. I think she just likes it.

“This is wonderful! Simply wonderful!” Eris exclaims. Suddenly, with a snap of her fingers, and a giant plume of smoke, she transforms back into normal male Discord. “I can’t take it any more. We are wasting valuable time!”

“What do you…” Hey, I feel something scratching my chin. It feels kind of sharp. I look down to see Discord’s eagle hand scratching my chin affectionately. “Um…Discord?”

“Huh?” Discord notices his mischevious hand, immediately retracting it. “Oh! I’m sorry! I suppose my feminine side hadn’t quite left, yet.”

“I see. So, about Queen…”

“No time! I must try this out at once!” Discord raises his hand into a snapping gesture. Hold up, what are you…

“Wait, no!”

SNAP. FLASH.


We are right in front of Fluttershy’s house. Damn it. Discord dances on his tippy toes in excitement. I can only guess what’s on his mind. He knocks on the door to Fluttershy’s house, where she opens it up welcomingly after a few moments. She tilts her head at Discord, as if wondering why he’s knocking on the door.

“Discord? You live here. Why did you…” her eyes move over to me, and I give her a small and friendly wave. “Oh, you brought the human.” Her eyelids lower to being halfway closed, attempting to give me a sultry expression. It’s pretty good, but ineffective for me. “Hello there. Come back for more?”

“He’s not here for anything!” Discord gets in the way of her seduction attempt. “I’m here for you!”

Discord raises his lion paw hand in defiance, brings it to a pointed position, and…

Boop.

He boops Fluttershy on the nose, just in the way I taught him. Fluttershy steps back in total shock. Her nose twitches slightly, absorbing the sensation. She back up at him, almost in awe in his gusto. Slowly, she leans forward, as if asking for more. He obliges, booping her on the nose again…and again…and again…and then movie past the intermediate technique of sliding his hand up her bridge, and going straight to the advanced stuff, where he pets and scratches her.

“Oh…my…” Fluttershy coos at Discord’s touch. “This is…so…wonderful…” She moves closer to him, wrapping herself around Discord’s waist, and feeling his fur with her face. “I must have more.” Jesus, this Fluttershy is such a hidden deviant.

“And you shall have it, my dear.” Discord whispers softly in her ear. He looks at me, and gives me the thumbs up. I thumbs him up right back, and then twist my wrist in a “now for your end of the bargain” gesture.

He nods, and with yet another snap of his fingers...

FLASH!


I am now in a place I have never been before.

It looks very much like some sort of post apocalyptic wasteland. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Discord sent me to some horrible future. I sure hope he didn’t, because if I ever found a way back, I would punch him dead in the face, after all that I did for him.

I hear buzzing. It sounds like a giant bee. There isn’t a giant bee now after me, is there? There’s so many things about Equestria that I still don’t know about.

GAH! I duck, seeing something black fly above me. It didn’t notice my presence, and keeps on going. Hold on a second…is that a changeling? It’s smaller than Queen Chrysalis; looking more like the size of an average pony. It’s getting farther and farther towards that…black and twisted looking castle?

A castle? I thought Queen Chrysalis lived in a cave. That’s what she told me. Maybe she moved in the past few months since we met. It looks kind of cool, but also very frightening. I see changelings flying around the place, moving through the sky like bees protecting their hive. Well, from my experience with Queen Chrysalis, the whole bug thing does kind of make sense.

If that’s where Queen Chrysalis lives, then that’s where I’m going.

It’s going to be a long trek. Not three movies worth, but still a long one.