Pet Standing Alone
"I'm getting a pet."
"Oh." Celestia looked up from her paperwork to smile at Cadance, and promptly looked back down again. "How nice."
Silence. Celestia hummed to herself cheerily and flipped a page and Luna flicked a rolled up bit of paper at a table across the diner, quickly hiding behind a menu when it struck somepony in the skull.
"I guess I was too subtle," Cadance said. "You were supposed to ask 'what kind of pet, my dear niece?'"
"Oh," Celestia said again. "What kind of pet are you getting, my dear niece?"
"I don't know!" Cadance flailed her hooves. "I can't decide! And Shining Armor is pulling the whole 'it's up to you, honey' routine. Like, bullroar it's up to me. It's a family affair. Crazy stallion."
"I thought you already had a pet?" Luna cocked her head. "An albatross or something?
"What?"
"That thing with the huge wings?"
"Luna..." Cadance facehoofed. "That's my child. That's Flurry Heart."
"Oh."
"Uh... anyways..." Celestia scratched her mane awkwardly. "Is this going to come down to a dog pony versus cat pony debate?"
"As neither, I'm curious to see where you girls stand," Cadance said.
"Well, cats are jerks," Luna said. "Apathetic, unloving jerks. Dogs actually give a crap about you. "
"That might be," Celestia mused. "But that's what gives them personality! Who wants a pet that just unconditionally does what you ask? That seems boring to me."
"The point of having a pet is to feel superior, though!" Luna protested. "Why would I like the feeling of being bossed around by a silent yet somehow snarky feline?"
"Luna... we literally rule the nation. We're the height of superiority." Celestia pointed out. "Perhaps it is for that reason that I don't mind something that doesn't greet me with an unending slurry of 'Yes, Princess!' and 'Oh, your will be done, Princess!' and instead greets me with 'I just knocked over your favourite potted plant onto your favourite ornate rug, and I am now staring at you without remorse as you clean it up.'"
"I suppose," Luna said. "Personally I don't have to deal with a thousand years of burnout, but I guess you have a point."
"That all being said, trust me and don't get a phoenix."
"Wait, what? Why?" Cadance cocked her head. "I thought you loved Philomena!"
"I do," Celestia said. "Dearly. But having a pet phoenix is like stargazing. Only once every decade does something interesting actually happen, and the entirety of the rest of the time you don't even see them at all."
Celestia glanced at the window, as if expecting the great bird to come swooping into the café right then. "Imagine caring for an immortal cat with wings and an incendiary grenade permanently strapped to its chest. Philomena once disappeared for thirty years, found me while I was attending a wedding, and then exploded into ashes all over the bride. Then, after my extensive apologizing and her molting was complete, she vanished once again. Having an immortal bird as a companion seemed like a good idea, but they really are solitary animals."
"Doesn't Twilight have a pet owl?" Cadance said. "Wouldn't that be the same issue? Isn't that a nocturnal bird?"
"It would be an issue for any normal pony, but not for Twilight. She doesn't sleep," Luna said. "Trust me, I've checked. She may even rival my coffee intake."
"Oh? Hey, do you have a pet, Luna?"
"Are you kidding?" Celestia snorted. "She can hardly care for herself, let alone another living thing!"
"Hey! I kept that desktop cactus you gave me alive for months!"
"Yes," Celestia said. "A fake plastic cactus. And in the end you still managed to make it wilt and die."
"Whatever," Luna grumbled. "Personally, I think I'm going to go with Cadance to get a pet. Something to put your smug little phoenix in its place."
"Oh joy," Celestia drawled, casting Luna a sideways glance. "I've always wanted a third stubborn creature to take care of."
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In theory, even if I'm not sure if it's cannon, Luna have Tiberius.
Hah!
No! They can be very loving and adorable.
Wow.
Either there's an extra 'e' floating about in there or that's an interesting concept :)
But... but... Tibbles...
7366453 The Best William Shatner and Star Trek reference Ever.
how did Luna kill a fake plant that was never alive to begin with?
Personally, I think Twilight could fulfill the role of a recurring guest character, being included fairly regularly, but only when her inclusion in that chapter adds something to it.
I thought Celestia was going to say 5th, cause she has to take care of twilight for awhile, and be there later on....and spike....oh don't forget discord......
7366500 Magic? Black Thumb? Bad Luck? Aliens?
I think with the comics, it's canon as long as it doesn't go against the show canon is the majority fanon attitude. I don't personally keep up with them, but it seems a good idea to me.
Also, good chapter! Also Flurry Heart's comment was gold.
"That might be," Celestia mused. "But that's what gives them personality! Who wants a pet that just unconditionally does what you ask? That seems boring to me."
Ouch, Celestia... Twilight does not approve. :-)
I'm joining in with the others on Tibbiekins. My headcanon for this chapter is that Luna doesn't want anyone, especially not Cadance, to know about her Tibbiekins. They might try to steal his superior snuggles! Or worse, think she's gone soft. And then there'd be the punching, and the crying, and maybe the elements again, and... yeah. Better not to say anything.
7366537 or maybe this is before she go him?
This is honestly my favourite line.
Sweet Celestia that was savage.
7366516
Yeah, this looks like the best case. The one chapter where they addressed her being around all the time did make some decent points. We had a pretty interesting dynamic beforehand, besides the teen that wants to sit at the dinner table isn't funny when it's always there. Moreso when they pull up a chair, scratching it on the ground and just plop right down the occasional moment. That and some people claim Princess Twilight personality wise got sandblasted in the later seasons but eh. I'm sure whatever you decide will be all gravy.
Who in the hay is Tiberius? Also I firmly believe that, while Twilight does add a little Je ne sais quoi to the chapters, she should only be included temporarily, for example, one chapter every three or four when she comes to Canterlot to do her "princess" stuff.
Anyone else want a followup chapter where she gets a pet?
7366487 The MLP Loops fic makes that connection a few times. Kirk loops in as Tibbers and generally does nothing at all.
(As for your author's note, I'm not really up on what's "canon" in the comics but Iv'e always enjoyed the idea that Luna has a pet opossum named Tiberius. It's just sort of silly fun.)
: D
Damn.
7366626 Who doesn't? (and i swear to god, if someone makes a Doctor Who joke, im' going to smack them.)
7366700 [Owlowicious joke]
Albatross. Very clever.
If that was unintentional, then bravo anyway.
So far, 77% of you don't like peas and/or don't know it's a multi-vote poll. I think the important question here is if Twilight likes peas. Quite the ponderous mystery...
7366622 In one of the comics Luna and Celestia have a bet on that Luna can't handle all of Celestia's schedule. It's starts out with Luna showing up at the end of the night, with a Opossum named Tiberius that she picked up during the night to be her pet. She also defeated an owlbear but that's just part of her duties.
It leads to a few funny moments like Luna in court dealing with a bunch of people complaining about Flim and Flam. Her using ponies to do a pony-sized chess game against Fancy Pants and a few other jobs, all while slowly succumbing to not having gotten any sleep. At the end of it she agrees that Celestia does have a tough schedule, and gets told that she still has to do her normal night duties again. She also states that she will open up a night court as well. Throughout all of it, Tibbers is in her mane either interacting with things or trying to sleep.
7366705 SON OF A-
Comics are half-canon(-ish). If I remember right, I thought it was said at some point (by the folks involved with the show and/or comics) that the official stance was that they're as close as you can get to canon without strictly being canon. Unless the show contradicts them it's safe to treat them as such.
That said, even if I'm remembering that right I'm unsure on how the majority of the fandom interprets them.
7366560
It's my favorite too.
7366500 I don't know... maybe she's the opposite of Poison Ivy??
7366453
Well, she got Tiberius as an adult in an issue about 2 and half years ago, so Tiberius is probably dead by now.
Opossums really don't live long. The longest lived individual opossum on record died of old age at 3. They are not suited as a companion for an immortal at all, as their lifespans are somewhat less than that of a rat.
And as the straw poll will show, a large group of people simply like peas
Also, lovely little series you have, absolutely charming to behold. may the sun always shine in your eyes in the morning my dear author
7366860 True, but we are talking about a magical land of ponies that have animals as intelligent as a human, maybe there they live longer.
I was fully expected someone to make a comment about how Twilight is like Celestia's pet. I am so disappointed that didn't happen. I'm also kind of disappointed you didn't try to troll people by linking them to my story about Owlowiscious. The tonal whiplash would've been amusing.
this is already off to a great start.
that would be interesting
i want to see this animated.
7366860
Shortly afterwards, we find out that long-term exposure to alicorn radiation extends the lifespan of lesser mortal creatures as well. It's a national secret.
Shortly after THAT, Twilight schedules weekly sleepovers with the Mane 6 as a royal command.
Thank god I can cast multiple votes. I don't think I could forgive myself if I didn't check the "I like peas" box.
7367023
In the story where Luna kills everything she tries to take care of, even things that shouldn't be physically capable of death?
That seems unlikely and contrived.
Upon casting a speech spell on Phil, she simply circled around the staff of Canterlot castle screaming "CAW CAW GIMME YOUR CHEESEBURGER" repeatedly.
7367352 "CAW CAW! I hunger for the taste of blood and flesh!"
How about one of those Gilapagos Turtles? Don't they live hundreds of years?
I love this.
Maud thinks that Luna should get a rock, preferably an igneous one but a sedimentary one would be alright they just aren't as energetic.
Oh my god that entire chapter was gold.
Someone wants to hear my opinion! Hah, let the rambling begi...
Oh, a poll. Well, better than nothing
This was a particularly inspired chapter, one of your best. Great job!
Let's just say Tiberius was found after this meeting.
(the comic sum for Tiberius is that Luna went "I want a pet" and found Tiberius in a trash can)
Tiberius practically shows up in every comic Luna is in with the exceptions of Friends Forever (I think).
So that's phoenix for sunshine, owl for Twilight, and opossum for Luna. I vote Cadence gets a nekomata (it's a cat... with two tails!)
7368000 I'm perfectly fine with rambling, too!
Thanks for the praise.
7366526 Considering how badly OOC it makes the characters at times, I thought most treated them as 'Alternate universe but never canon'.
7368010 Cadence already has a pet, though, remember? She married Shining Armor.
And I will officially join with the others in promoting Tiberius