“Celestia damn it!”
Celestia’s ears perked at the barking curse from across the diner as an empty glass shattered and a waitress began chanting apologetic remarks to a belligerent stallion patron.
“What a jerk,” Luna narrowed her eyes at the stallion still berating the half-cowering waitress. “Somebody’s getting a nightmare tonight.”
Celestia and Cadance both voiced their agreement with a wordless nod.
“Can I ask you girls a question?” Celestia frowned, alternating between glances at the commotion, and at Cadance and Luna.
“Go ahead, Auntie.”
“... Should I be insulted or flattered that ponies chose to use my name as an expletive?”
A brief pause.
“Uh… why would you be insulted?” Cadance cocked her head. “That seems to me like it should be, like, the highest honour.”
“Yes I suppose, but in such a context! ‘Celestia damn it!’ I don’t damn anything! I’m a benevolent and loving pony, not some cruel, damning overlord! I have no idea where such a notion even comes from!”
“Perhaps from the fact that you literally damned Tirek to the pony equivalent of hell?” Cadance offered. “Twice?”
“Tartarus isn’t hell! We were there, Cadance! Did it look like hell to you?”
“Uh… kinda? It really did give off some hell-ish vibes.”
“There was brimstone,” Luna recounted. “And it was really humid. Granted, no fire, but it was still pretty blistering.”
“Face it, Auntie,” Cadance said. “Tartarus is three-quarters of the way to just being hell. Heck, I remember this one stallion in high-school who was trying to get me to ditch Shiny for him. I told him to ‘go to hell’ and then got a letter later that day that said ‘okay now what.’”
“Well, whatever. That’s all irrelevant.” Celestia shook her head. “The point is, I don’t appreciate ponies using my name in the context of such vulgarity.”
“Then ask them not to,” Luna replied. “It’s not rocket surgery.”
“But then they’ll only continue doing so! More so, really! If you make something seem taboo, then ponies will only want to do it more. Don’t you remember the prohibition?”
“Ah, quite true!” Luna nodded vigorously. “Those were fun times! Well, regardless, I think it’s a fairly silly thing to get insulted by. Didn’t hear me complaining when ponies said such things about me.”
Cadance blinked. “Luna… not to be rude, but you literally went homicidally insane when ponies said such things about you.”
“Yes, but I didn’t complain. I proactively sought a solution! Albeit a poor one, but you’ve gotta give me credit for trying. Something which Celestia is refusing to do.”
“Well, I suppose I can state that I am uncomfortable,” Celestia admitted. “‘Celestia damn it’ isn’t intentionally offensive, I imagine. I’m sure the ponies don’t even realize what they’re saying.”
“Tell them if they don’t stop, there will be hell to pay.”
Silence.
Cadance facehoofed. “Luna, that would literally accomplish the opposite of what she’s trying to accomplish.”
“Fine,” Luna growled defensively. “Don’t take my advice. But you don’t see ponies calling me ‘Twinkletail’ anymore, now do you?”
Cadance blinked, and gave a blushing Celestia a blank stare. Whatever thousand-year-context she was missing, Cadance quickly decided she didn’t wish to know.
“And what about you, Cadance?” Luna carried on her defensive strike to her blushing niece. “Or should I say Cad—ence! With an E!”
Cadance shuddered. “No matter how many times I correct ponies, that one letter has been haunting my name for my whole life.”
“Exactly,” Luna nodded.
“I mean it’s not even that complicated!” Cadance said. “It’s pronounced Kay-Dance! Not Kay-Dense! I’m not dense!”
“You see?” Celestia said. “It’s not weird that I am bothered by this.”
“No, I guess not,” Cadance agreed. “But eh. I don’t think any of those names are really intentionally offensive. And if Luna’s any indication, it’s probably not worth it to try and force them all to stop.”
“Suit yourselves,” Luna said smugly. “I’m revered as the holiest and most mysterious of all the princesses, and all it took was an earth-shattering level of heartbreak, a thousand years of solitude and regret, and some black fur dye.”
More silence.
"Er... actually," Luna scratched her mane, blushing as she let her own sentence properly register. "On second thought..."
Heh!
Resisting a joke.
Yeah.
So, if you want to get respect, go emo and try to destroy the planet...
img.memecdn.com/Seems-Legit_o_117201.jpg
I think Luna's mouth got ahead of her brain there at the end. Interesting chapter on how Celestia could view ponies invoke her name.
But... isn't it pronounced Kay-dense?
7386460
And isn't her full name Mi Amore Cadenza?
Thank you for inspiring my next One Liner.
7386478 It's just like how "Steve" is short for "Stephen"...
...Knows a "Steven", too, thus invalidating the entire point...
I think 90+% of ponies here know this but:
Her name is Mi Amore Cadenza. The Translation is "I love Cadence".
Somehow a little girl naming herself that just sounds right. I would love to have seen Celestia when the new princess named herself that.
Cadence is the English translations of Cadenza.
Cadence is something from music, and I will just put this here: https://www.reddit.com/r/mylittlepony/comments/sm22p/a_spoiler_in_the_song/
7386642 You're close, but the translation is more accurately My Love Cadence.
Cadance seems to carry disdain towards this title which seems to suggest she did not chose it herself—she seems pretty humble and down-to-earth which is probably the reason why. Interestingly, Chrysalis, when disguised as her, insists on this title. It probably helps her feed on love when ponies are basically saying "I love you" every time they address her.
That's an interesting read, too.
7386478 Which made Sombra's origin story in the comics weird as fuck...
Candace (Phineas and Ferb)
Emo Luna is best Luna.
Princess Can-can-dance?
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I find it nice to find someone else who doesn't believe Nightmare Moon was a bout of insanity or some seperate conciousness, but rather a simple change in conduct freely decided upon.
Haven't seen this yet:
How would they know about other versions of hell? The 'pony equivalent of hell', to them at least, is hell. I do apologise, I really am terrible at explaining stuff; however I hope you get where I'm going here. No? I'll show myself out.
7386834
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Huh, yeah you have a point.
I guess it see could still make sense as a cross-cultural thing. The griffons, for example, probably have a different perception of afterlife compared to the Equestrians.
Leaning on the fourth-wall is Luna's job
7386820 I think it only does harm to Luna's character to remove the element of guilt/redemption.
In this story, I'm trying to depict a Luna that has gone through all of that and is now comfortable making jokes about her past with ponies she's comfortable with. Glad you like it.
7386852
Heeeyyy...
(ignore the deleted one. I just derped)
Now I want Twilight rooting through Lunas closet lookin for black fur dye.
7386820
You'll either be overwhelmingly disappointed or enthused with his headcanon if he tells you.
7386460
7386478
This video might help.
So, when Norris first introduced this chapter idea to me
solely to spite me,we had a debate about the a/e thing. Of course. I'm right. He's wrong. And just made a total fool out of himself posting this, but anyways, he linked me that video. Replay the part where Twilight says her name. Listen to it a few times. You'll start to hear "Kay-dan-ce" versus "Kay-den-ce." So if you're going off of Twilight's pronounciation, it's the former. If you're going off of the credits of the Canterlot Wedding, most independent vendors/marketers, and the occasional toy product it's spelled with an 'e.' Everything else is an 'a.' But at the end of the day both are technically correct, since they've both been used.So if you were looking for any sort of actual answer, hope I helped.
Also, Norris. You have failed to spite me...
bitch
7386669 I guess you mean Princess Amore. I believe Candance is supposed to be her descendant or reincarnation.
Also your comment number contains the triple 6.
7387573 Hey! The unnecessary amount of research I did for that chapter is getting appreciation!
7387059 Pinkie Pie doesn't lean on the fourth wall.
She smashes it with a sledge hammer.
7387395 Thank you. I like to headcanon that Philomena telegraphs no signs that she's about to burst into ash, so during her molting phase Celestia is just perpetually nervous every time Philomena is around her.
7387090 Because reasons.
7386661
7387196
I always head cannoned her like River Song from Doctor Who, the people who raised her translated her name to Mi Amore Cadenza (real name turned out to be Melody Pond). Thus I submit 4 much better possible names for Cadence:
I Love Song
My Love Song
My Heart Song
My Heart Beats
7387676 This is a headcanon that I do think I will be borrowing.
7386674
No, seriously...I have no idea what it is. (REminds me of the "Rush Limbaugh: Leading American Proctologist" thing from Babylon 5)
7387665
Luna, why did you dye Twilight black?
:Luna: Because I wanted her to be perfect.
If you get the reference, your awesome.
7387604 Yeah but if you stop to think about it...That Amore might have avoided her fate if she didn't just give advice so standard to the MLP and stopped to consider that if a small child saw something bad and I mean real bad in a vision from the thing that is the focal point of the empires magic...it may warrant some actual concern and not appathetic bullshit that is so common of authority figures...*cough* Celestia *cough* ....she would have never been shatter to a million pieces and scatter across the globe the way Dracula was in Bram Stoker.
But she was as cold as the Snowflake she has on her butt...so she got a chilling death...
Oh, this was great! Hilarious and sobering at the same time, well done.
Oh Luna... "Wait, strike that"
Huh, Equestria has both rockets, AND has somehow found a reason for them to need surgery. never ceases to amaze me.
7386588
Also, for that exact reason I don't like being called Steve. I generally get called Ste instead.
7398205
I Blame the Discordian Era, i expect one of few entertainment events Discord often grabbed ponies into were increasingly bizarre gameshows, with Rocket Surgery being one of his personally enjoyable repeats, as Kerbal Space Program can attest!
Luna will always be best princess~
Dark and mysterious, creates the most starry and beautiful of nights, and is a pretty midnight blue~
Nice job!
7409027 Headcanon accepted.
I kinda want to hear a "Queen Princess Nightmare Moon" curse.
Then my mind went here...
"Excuse me, sir. You wish me to damn something?"
The waitress and surly stallion both felt a moment of terror, for there beside them stood an angry-looking Princess Celestia.
Proving his lack of wisdom, "This incompetent waitress dropped my glass!" shouted the stallion.
"That is not adequate cause for damnation. You have called upon my name in vain, and you will be punished."
Celestia made a show of walking majestically back to her table. "Will that do?" she asked, with a demure half-smile.
7386775
Not quite, sweetheart.
8133829
Will "I hope Nightmare Moon eats your babies" suffice?
Is that DoomGuy?
7386711
Candy-Ass?
No, seriously, she looks like candy.
another vote for hearing it as "cadence". curse the need to be internet searchable by spelling names wrong!