This story is a sequel to Austraeoh

A lone stallion arrives from a faraway land, looking for a place called "Ponyville."

Some people say that Celestia and Luna are useless. That they lounge in the castle while delegating all their responsibilities to hard working, underappreciated, exceptionally well-read students. That even when faced directly with threats to kingdom and country, they fold like cheap origami and wait to be rescued.

These people are correct. But there's a very good reason for it!

[Rated Teen due to a dark scene early on to set some backstory, and occasional comedic death]

There are a number of compounds the human body is incapable of synthesizing; these are found only in red meat. To save a dying human, Twilight asks her friends - except for Fluttershy - for advice.

Teleportation. It is the best possible way to travel... As long as you don't think about it too much. As long as you don't ask where Twilight goes in that split second when she's neither here nor there.

The sound I listened to as I wrote it, available to you in order to give you the option of having the same atmosphere.

No relation to the other story with the same name, just a coincidence of both picking the same excellent title. I was unaware that the other one existed.
Dramatic Reading by Charles Spratt | Second Reading by TheDizzyDan | Third Reading by Crafty Arts | Fourth Reading by Stormy787
Russian Translation 1 (by Aloz) | Russian Translation 2 (by Doof Ex Machina)

Twilight is a hammer in want of a nail. Sunset would rather a good screw.

A dramedy.

A commission for Shogoki. Proofread by MrNumbers, Octavia Harmony, and Themaskedferret. Special thanks to Selbi.

Flash Sentry's world sucks. Maybe it's high time he left it.

(Indeed)

Cover Art by amalgamzaku aka mix-up

Princess Cadance, just like everypony else, needs some time of leisure from her many duties. While Shining Armor is taking care of their daughter, Cadance enjoys her lone trips to the nearby Nephrite Forest, where she can be away from all of her burdens and obligations for at least a short while.

She was simply destined to get mugged eventually, wasn’t she? Why not by somepony who takes his job very seriously.

Also available in Mandarin Chinese (translation by keplebletbett) and Spanish (translation by SPANIARD KIWI).

Cover art from HERE

Edit 14/3/2019: Had to remove the Drama tag because I wasn't allowed to save edits to the description due to too many tags due to the new rules.

I was enjoying a quiet day at work, when I suddenly find myself in what I can only describe as what a person high on drugs would see, before a blinding rainbow light slams into me and knocks me unconscious.

Upon awakening, I find something very off, not only about my surroundings, but myself. For one, I seem to have become a small horse and a female one at that.

I also seem to be in a forest of some kind. Hang on. Is this the Everfree?

Oh, great. What do i do now?

Well, having powers on par with a Chaos Lord certainly might come in handy. Let's see what i can do with them, shall we?

Sex tag for sexual references and teen for teen reasons, plus a lot crass swearing.

And, just be warned, that random tag is serious. Random shit will happen in this fic, so be wary of that when entering and DO NOT expect anything to just be normal at any point.

In Popular Stories 31/12/2015. What a way to end the year!

Featured 24/7/2016. Okay. Honest to God did not see that coming.

Featured again 31/7/2016. Wait. What?

Featured 5/8/2016. Someone's pulling my leg here, right?

Featured again 26/8/2016. No. Wait. WHAT?

Despite everything, got Featured 16/2/2017. Just hope the next update does this justice

In Featured 2/07/2017. Um... How? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad, but... how?!

Seriously? Featured 23/7/2017?

Featured 28?7/2017. .... Um, HOW?

Featured 4/8/2017. Wait, HOW?

As Twilight attempts to get Starlight Glimmer to see the error of her ways, Spike can't help but interject. If Starlight had a portal to take her to any place or any time, why fixate on one single event when she could accomplish so much more?

As it turns out, Starlight Glimmer has an answer. Several in fact.

Inspired by a conversation with the story's editor Tired Old Man.

Life in Equestria is changing, and nopony knows this more than Lyra Heartstrings. While on vacation in Appleloosa to forget her past trauma with changelings, the struggling musician ironically stumbles upon Queen Chrysalis. In her starving death throes, the Matriarch of the Hive latches onto Lyra. When the unicorn awakens, she is no longer her usual self, but rather a super-powered pony with all the gifts and talents of the changeling queen who has merged with her, forming a shared consciousness in Lyra's head.

Together, the two will be forced to work out a symbiotic relationship, performing acts of heroism against a shifting tide of questionable politics, dangerous personalities, unpredictable technologies, and the runaway denizens of Tartarus. Neither Chrysalis nor Lyra exclusively, they must both settle for an identity that sparks fear in the minds of evil... and instills hope in the hearts of the innocent.

This is not the story of Queen Chrysalis. Nor is this the story of Ponyville's silly Lyra Heartstrings. This is the day-to-day saga of the pony known only as the Shell, the heroes and villains attached to her, and the adventurous legacy that she will ultimately leave behind.

Cover Art by Rangelost