• Published 26th Jun 2016
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Shellstrings - shortskirtsandexplosions



After freakish happenstance turns Lyra Heartstrings and Queen Chrysalis into a symbiotic being, they find themselves putting their superpowers to heroic use in an ever-changing Equestria.

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This Looks Like a Job For... Oh...

Appleloosa – General Store – Noon

"I'm sorry, ma'am." A stallion with a handlebar mustache shrugged from where he stood behind the sales counter. "But we ain't got no physician in town by that name."

"No... he's not—it's not an actual doctor," Lyra Heartstrings said, standing before him with her saddlebags. "It's the name... the name of a soft drink."

The stallion merely squinted at her.

"Dr. Pony... y'know..." Lyra smiled crookedly. She shrugged, then hummed a jingle. "'I'm a Pony, you're a Pony, don't you wanna be a Pony too?"

He blinked.

"That sound familiar at all?" Lyra asked.

"Is that one of them things that comes out of yer big city squawk boxes?"

"'Squawk boxes?'" Lyra's muzzle scrunched. "What—you mean a radio?"

"Yeah!" He grinned. "That thang!"

Lyra sighed, rubbing her muzzle. "Well... look... do you have any other soft drinks?"

"Correct me if I'm wrong, ma'am, but ain't all drinks 'soft?' I mean... liquid's a heck of a lot softer than solids."

"Just... grghh... what do you have here to drink?"

"Oh!" Ecstatic, the stallion pointed to row after row of brown jars. "Apple juice!"

Silence.

"And... anything else?" Lyra asked.

The stallion rubbed his chin, glanced all around, then blurted: "Apple sauce?"

After a heavy exhale, Lyra dropped some bits on the table. "I'll take some apple juice, please."

"How many bottles?"

"Three," Lyra grunted. "I'm feeling adventurous."

The stallion bagged three bottles and slid them towards her. "Here ya go, ma'am."

"Thanks a bunch, pal."

"Dun drink 'em all in one go." The stallion chuckled with a wink. "Ya dun wanna get Maretazuma's Revenge."

Lyra shuddered. "Yeesh... for once I'm starting to agree with him."

"Agree with who?"

"Meh. Never mind." She slid the bottles into her saddlebags and waved with a briefly perky grin. "Smell ya later!"


Appleloosa – Main Street

Creaaaak!

The swinging doors of the general store opened and shut.

Lyra trudged out, coughing through a cloud of dust. She waved a hoof before her face and squinted at a tumbleweed bouncing past her. Villagers milled about along the multiple storefronts. Across the street she could see Lemon Hearts, Minuette, and Twinkleshine waiting on Braeburn to trot out of a warehouse.

With swift telekinesis, Lyra raised a single bottle of apple juice, uncapped it, and took a sip. "Hrmmm..." She swallowed then exhaled. "Thank Celestia we're not vacationing in 'Pruneloosa'"

Just as she slid the bottle back into her pack...

...she heard a pained grunt fron behind.

"...?" Turning, Lyra looked for the source of the alarming noise.

She found herself peering down a narrow, dusty alleyway between a pair of two-story buildings. A frail, trembling stallion was being stared down by two much taller, far more muscular ponies.

"I mean it, varmint!" she heard one of the bigger equines grunting. "You'd better tell us where the money is!" He then proceeded to slam his hoof hard into the gut of the smaller stallion.

"Ooomf!" The victim collapsed to the dirt, curling up and wheezing in pain.

Lyra winced. Heart beating, she looked to her left and right... then gawked at the ongoing scene.

"Well?!" The other large stallion kicked the small pony hard in the side. "Where're the bits your promised?! Or are we gonna have to drag you out into the wasteland and tie you to a cactus?! Bet them vultures are hungry!"

"I... already p-paid you g-guys..." The stallion on the ground whimpered. "Last... m-month..."

"The payment's doubled, ya idiot!"

"Since..." Coughing. Sputtering. "...wh-when?"

"Dun matter!" The largest stallion hoisted the pony painfully by the mane and growled into his face. "We need four hundred bits by the week's end or we're gonna pay a visit to yer homestead and show yer family just how much we mean business!"

"Eeyup..." The other thug smirked. "Just might see how deep that manure pile is behind yer shitty lil' shack. Are them young'n's of yers old enough to swim?"

"You... b-bastards..." The bruised stallion wheezed. "I'll get you your m-money. Just give me some t-time..."

"End of the week or yer dead meat, ya sissy." The largest tossed him to the ground, then dusted off his hat. "Come on, Charley. We've got better thangs to do than kick garbage to the curb."

"Heh... you said it, Clint."

Lyra gnashed her teeth. She took one bold step towards the alleyway—but her whole body had turned numb. A knot formed in her throat, and she found that there was no voice to speak with—only trembling breaths.

The injured stallion hobbled to his hooves and shuffled away. In the meantime, the two thugs casually trotted past Lyra's way. Their angry eyes swept towards her.

Clamming up, Lyra hung her head—avoiding their gaze. She heard—even felt—a hot, angry snort... and then the two muscular stallions were gone... along with their foul scent.

Once their hoofsteps dwindled, all Lyra could feel was the pounding in her chest. A cold sweat formed along her brow, and a deep pit of shame gathered in her chest.

She was nearly oblivious to the whistling from across the street.

"Yoohoo! Miss Heartstrings! I've fetched us a wagon!" Braeburn's voice called. "Ready to set on out and meet yer therapist?!"

"We've got a schedule to keep, Lyra," Lemon Hearts droned. "Best that we hop to it."

Lyra gulped. "Yeah..." Shuddering, she turned around and crossed the street on numb hooves. "...just a nice... relaxing vacation..."

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