//------------------------------//
// Helpful 
// Story: How to Disappear Completely 
// by shortskirtsandexplosions 
//------------------------------//

	Thunk!

The top of the ladder clattered to a stop against the western face of Sugarcube Corner.  Flash Sentry climbed it in a blink.  To his surprise, being quadrepedal somehow made clasping the rungs... strangely easier.  Reaching the top, he instead focused on the dense, damp, and disgustingly brown chunks of dead leaves filling the gutters from end to end.

A shrill whistle escaped his muzzle.  "Uh huh... this is your problem, alright."  He gave the bottom of the gutter a swift tap with his hoof—feeling the intense weight of the gathered material and how it pulled at the metal fasteners still pinning the thing to the roof.  In so doing, he upset a nest or two, and panicked cockroaches and silverfish skittered loose.  He tried not to flinch.  Several months ago, Flash had been tasked with tidying up the exterior of his aunt's mobile home on the opposite side of town.  After much scrubbing, raking, and scraping—he had successfully beautified the place until it outshone all of the other structures in the trailer park, but the disgusting sights he had seen had formed a permanent scar in his subconscious.  This filthy little slice of the pony world, on the other hand, paled in comparison, and he wasn't about to shirk his impulsive volunteer work over a few unsavory bugs.  "Not going to lie—this is going to be messy.  There's enough backed-up gunk here to fill a wheelbarrow."  He hoped that ponies were civilized enough to know what a wheelbarrow was—much less possessed the capacity to use them.

"Oh my..."  Cup Cake fidgeted where she stood at the base of the ladder down below.  From where Flash stood, she looked like a plump little dessert topping that matched the rest of Sugarcube's exterior decor.  "Well... tell me, Mr. Brad—"

"Just Brad will do," Flash blurted.

"Brad... what can I get you to help make this generous task of yours any easier, dearie?"

"I'm more worried about where all this shi—er.... crud is going to go," he said, feeling his muzzle form a nervous, cheeky smile.  "I don't suppose you have a few buckets to spare?  I need containers to empty the runoff into without staining the outside of your lovely establishment."

"Oh!  Buckets!"  Cup Cake brightened, her tiny little tail giving a tiny little wag.  "Can do!"

Just then, Carrot Cake trotted out with a tray of glasses and a water pitcher.  "And something to scoop the leaves out with, I bet!"  He placed the tray atop the mailbox and smiled up at the teenager, squinting past the sun's glare.  "You know, I have this super old scooper for sprinkles that's just been gathering dust in the closet.  I suppose now's as good a time as any to permanently retire it from the kitchen."

Flash held in the strong need to laugh at that.  "Actually... Mr. Cake—"

"Please, Brad, call me Carrot."

Flash smiled inwardly from the friendliness in the air between them.  "If you've got any gardening tools, I could really use a hand rake."

Carrot cocked his head aside.  "A what rake?"

"Erm..."  Flash winced.  "A garden rake?"

"Oh!  Sure!"

"You see, first I want to break the material up—cuz it's all packed densely together, y'know?"  Flash gestured from where he was perched at the top of the ladder.  "Then—once I have it loosened—I can go about shoveling it allllll the way down the length of the gutters.  Mrs Cake is already grabbing some buckets so I can catch the stuff on the way out.  Uhm... in the meantime, though, you might wanna post a sign... telling customers to use the side door to your establishment or something."

"I was just thinking that!"  Carrot Cake said with a pleasant wink.  He was already trotting off.  "I'll go grab what I can from our shed outback.  Heh... I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that we haven't opened the thing in months.  It's probably crawling with parasprites and star spiders by now."

"Yeah... okay."  Flash stood there, numbly trying to contemplate exactly what a "star spider" was, much less a "parasprite."  It was little things like that which highlighted just how... fantastical this whole place was... and yet here he was on a ladder about to clean rain gutters.  His big glossy pony eyes drifted across the street.  He saw four-legged citizens trotting to and fro, pausing as soon as their paths interconnected just so they could engage in pleasant conversation—relishing the moment.  There was no hurry... no urgency to their steps.  Time seemed so short, and the sky above this land strangely colorful—and small, like these curious horses.  But everypony seemed too lost in their innocence and adorability to care or, to a greater or lesser degree, to worry.  At one point, his eyes spotted a mare trotting out of a storefront... accompanied by a set of bags that inexplicably floated beside her.  Flash's heart skipped a beat... but then he remembered Starlight Glimmer—and her unicorn horn with unicorn magic.  Just as he began to smile at the wonder of the notion, his fresh memory of Starlight evolved into an even fresher memory of the large, crystalline castle he had witnessed upon emerging in this world.  And that recollection brought with it the knowledge of who precisely that castle belonged to.  Soon, his smile faded, and his heart grew heavy with a very familiar weight.

Thankfully, it was at that precise moment that Carrot Cake returned, along with Cup Cake in tow.

"Here you go, Brad!"  Carrot Cake said.  He stood up on his hindquarters—wincing a bit from his sore spine—but nevertheless raised a few gardening tools towards the teenager, balanced on the flat of his pronounced stallion muzzle.  "I hope these work out for ya!"

"They'll do just fine, Carrot, thanks," Flash said, leaning down to grab the tools.  It was about two seconds into the process that he realized he had acquired the items in his hooves with... no problem whatsoever.  It would certainly appear that putting less thought into things made all the difference in this world.

"Where should I place the buckets, sweetie?" Cup asked.

"In a straight line," Flash said, gesturing from above.  "All beneath the edge of the roof—and then put one at the very end.  If you can, make sure it's the largest bucket of all."

Cup Cake went about placing the containers in the necessary spots.  "We can't thank you enough for doing this.  It really means a lot to us and our clients."

"Don't thank me just yet," Flash said.  He grasped the garden rake in his front teeth.  Only then did he learn that having such a large pony mouth allowed him to "talk" out the sides of his muzzle while still performing menial tasks.  With each progressive minute he spent dwelling in that place, things felt... curiously natural.  He chose not to linger on the matter, instead digging and stabbing away at the wet material within the gutter while murmuring to the married couple below:  "There are still three other sides to this building, from what I've seen."

"Oh... don't fuss," Cup Cake said, waving a hoof.  "You can just take care of the west side here.  That's where the moisture's gathered the worst."

"Mrmmfff... that's not enough," Flash muttered, starting to sweat as he progressed along the gutters, one arduous inch at a time.  "You don't want peop—er... ponies with mold allergies to suffer any longer whenever they visit, right?  If we're to tackle this problem... best to tackle the whole problem."

"Well, one thing's for sure, you've earned more than banana bread!" Cup Cake said.  She giggled—as did her husband.

"Heh... we'll get to that when the time comes," Flash said, managing a smile despite his labors.  Already, he was unearthing huge chunks of wet, decaying leaves.  He expected a nasty smell to fill the air, and he didn't quite anticipate enjoying it with his rather pronounced nostrils.  Yet—to his surprise—the air remained mostly pleasant... as if something absolutely priceless and aromatic at the heart of this world oversaturated any nasty odor whatsoever.  "I can already tell that this isn't as nasty a job as I was expecting."  And he was telling the truth.

"Looks like we've got things covered here, honey buns," Carrot Cake said with a wink.

"Well, alrighty then!"  Cup Cake turned about and waddled inside.  "I'd best be checking up on our customers!  Holler if you need anything!"

"I'm sure we will," Carrot said.  Eventually, the two stallions were alone.  The older one stood below, steadying the ladder while Flash continued his work.  "No joke, Brad.  This really means a lot."  He sighed.  "There's nothing I hate more than not being able to contribute where I'm most needed.  You're a young one—so I'm not sure you'd understand."

"Mrmmff..."  Flash re-positioned the handle of the rake in his teeth, giving his throat muscles room to swallow the invisible lump that had formed.  "I'm just happy to help."

"Heh.  No joke."  Carrot smirked.  "Ponyville could use more ponies like you."

Flash tried not to laugh—for fear of loosing the tool in his grasp.  "Somehow I find that hard to believe."

"Oh?"

"Everybody here is just so friggin' nice."

Carrot raised an eyebrow.  "Is there a reason we shouldn't be?"

Flash fumbled a bit.  Shadows scraped the edges of his mind, laced with the bitter aftertaste of lonesome gray sighs.  He cleared his throat and... simply continued stabbing away at the gutters.

Carrot peered and peered.  "Where're you from, Brad?" he finally blurted.  "If... you don't mind me asking."

Flash's blood ran cold—something that he didn't know could happen in his inexplicable pony body until that very moment.  He shivered, imagining the walls of the crystalline palace closing in from all around... shoving him back... squeezing him back through the portal like a worthless chunk of fat down some dark, forsaken esophagus.  For the first time, the smell of mildew stung at his sinuses, and it smelled like... everything back home.  If regret had an odor...

"I... uhm..."  Flash fumbled, fidgeted, and finally settled for the truth—or at least the next best thing to it.  "I'm from a place far... far away."

"Oh?"  Carrot blinked.  "One of the outlying cloud cities?"  The stallion's eyes twinkled with sudden excitement.  "An Equestrian colony overseas?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhh..."  Flash shifted his weight on the ladder.  "What's... a place that's—like—super far away from Ponyville?"

"Oh, I dunno..."  Carrot rubbed his head with a free hoof.  "Griffonstone?"

"Yeah!  Griffonstone!"  Flash wheezed, digging and stabbing at leaves.  "I'm from there."

Carrot did a double-take.  "You're from a mountain city full of griffons?"

"Full of what-now?"

"Y'know... griffons..."  Carrot chuckled.  "Aside from the fact that they don't exactly make... agreeable company, I'd say you lack the beak and tail to impress them."

"Oh... uh..."  Flash sweated.  "Right."  In the pale blink of the moment, it occurred to him that ponies weren't nearly as naive as he thought.  He felt foolish... and more than a little bit guilty.

Thankfully, the warm tone in Carrot's voice dissolved the anxiety of the moment before it could form.  "If you don't wish to talk about where you come from, Brad, that's perfectly fine.  And it's definitely not my place to pry."  Flash could sense his smile from several feet below.  "Lots of pegasi—I find—flock to Ponyville to escape the pressures of the more... populated cities of Equestria.  Also, this being an earth pony town and all, there're far more grounded opportunities for a stallion like you to take advantage of."

"What do you mean?"

Carrot turned abruptly quiet.  The silence was eerie enough to force Flash to look down at him.  Eventually, the older stallion stammered:  "I... I'm sorry.  I feel like I've been too presumptuous."

"In what way?"

"F-forget I said anything."

"No."  Flash gently insisted.  "I'm curious.  Am I doing something wrong?"

"No!  Not at all!"  Carrot furiously shook his head.  "In fact—like I said—lots of... erm... fl-flightless pegasi make their home here in Ponyville!  And we welcome them with open arms!"  He smiled nervously, his muzzle reddening with each fumbling word.  "In fact... several even eat here at Sugarcube Corner!  And I believe even one attends Mrs. Cheerilee's—"

"I'm... confused..."  Flash said, though he wondered if it was actually going to benefit him to pressure the issue.

"Well, I just assumed that... y'know..."  Carrot nervously patted the ladder that he was bracing between them.  "...since you weren't using your wings and all..."

Flash blinked.  A few of Starlight Glimmer's words echoed down his spine.  His eyes wondered curiously to his tightly-coiled wings.

"But... but that's perfectly fine!"  Carrot chuckled good-naturedly.  "I'll have you know that I've been flightless my entire life!  Heheh!  And I've gotten along just fine!"  He coughed out the side of his muzzle.  "Gonna make playing 'catch' with Pound super interesting... that's for sure..."

Flash blanched so hard that he nearly dropped the garden rake from his muzzle.  "You mean you horses can fly?!  Like... actually fly?"

Carrot's eyes twitched upon hearing that.  "Uhm... yes?  Well... if you mean the fine delegates from Saddle Arabia, then no... but... erm..."

"I..."  Flash flexed his wings, glancing at each orange feather.  "I thought these things were strictly ornamental."

"Uhhhhhh..."

"Y'know... for show?"

"Hate to break it to you, but..."  Carrot pointed skyward with an amused grin.

Flash looked to the heavens—as if for the first time.  As his vision came into focus, he saw several gliding... streaking shapes.  To his utter surprise, they each possessed hooves and flickering tails.  Suddenly, Starlight Glimmer's comments about the "open castle window" made a great deal more sense.  At one point while gazing, he caught a streak of rainbow colors soaring by so fast that a veritable sonic blast accompanied the pony's passing in a burst of thunder.  The sensation drew a childish laugh from his muzzle.  This time he did drop the rake—letting it dangle from the edge of the gutter.

"Hah hah!  Holy crap!"  Flash smiled stupidly, and his words matched the expression.  "That's so friggin' cool.  So... like..."  He glanced at his own feathers and almost sighed.  "Can I do that?"

Carrot's smirk had turned into a sly, off-angled thing.  "You really are from a place far away, aren't you?"  He winked.  "Somehow... I don't think even Griffonstone could cut it."

The moment of levity had passed.  Flash gulped hard, grasping the handle of the rake once again in solid teeth.  "Mr. Cake," he murmured.  "Right now... I'm just a dude who really wants to fix your gutter problem.  Like... totally."

Carrot nodded with a warm breath.  "And that's good enough for me."

Flash sighed.  It was something close to relief.  "Cool."  And he proceeded to tackle the gutter... and the next one... and the next—moving along the outer circumference of the building in a counter-clockwise motion, filling the buckets gradually and then emptying them out in the back of the establishment.  It was all a remarkably smooth process—especially with Carrot's assistance with the ladder and buckets.  Despite a few intense moments of distraction from the flying horses above, Flash managed to get the task done in record time.  Of course... idle conversation with Carrot and the many ice-cold refreshments courtesy of Cup helped the situation immensely.

"Well, it's actually quite simple, really," Carrot Cake mused as he and Flash shuffled the ladder over a few feet, re-positioning it along the outer edge of the gutters above.  "My great-great-great-great grandfather was a unicorn, and Cup Cake's great aunt's second cousin twice removed was a Pegasus."

"And so you ended up with two kids who weren't... uhm..."  Flash fumbled for words as he climbed back up the ladder's rungs.  "...normal ponies?"

Carrot smiled pleasantly.  "Around these parts, we call ourselves 'earth ponies,' Brad."

"My bad."

"Quite alright."

"So there are three kinds of ponies?" Flash asked—then winced at how pathetically elementary that question was.  He attempted to save the moment.  "Around these parts, I mean."

"Heh..."  Carrot took the strange inquiry in stride.  "Central Equestria is home to mostly earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi."

"And Pumpkin and Pound are a unicorn and a pegasi respectfully."

"Pegasus... and yes."  Carrot nodded.  "But now—if you go far... farrr north you'll find the Crystal Empire... which is home to crystal ponies!"

"No kidding."  Flash resumed digging and stabbing at the last length of clogged gutters.  "Mrmmff... and what are they like?"

"Crystalline!"

Flash chuckled.  "That it?"

"Well—from what I hear, they live longer than most other ponies, they make excellent cooks, and their coats turn all sparkly and glowy whenever magic is channeled through their sacred Crystal Heart."

"So they're basically Italians."

"Huh?"

Flash cleared his throat, deciding to end that right then and there.  "What other... kinds of ponies live here in central Equestria?"

"Well, there are the sarosians, I suppose."

"Now there's a funny word."

"Heh..."  Carrot rubbed the back of his mane.  "I'm getting used to the term myself.  Back in the day—while there was still the Mare in the Moon—we simply called them 'bat ponies.'  But times have certainly been changing, and—all things considered—the term 'bat ponies' isn't very polite... now is it?"

"No.  I guess not."  Flash was still hung up on the strange term "Mare in the Moon."  In a sincere breath, he dragged himself back to the conversation at hand.  "So... like..."  He paused in his sweaty duty to glance down at the stallion.  "...for real... where does the 'bat' part begin and the 'pony' part end?"

Carrot laughed quite heavily.  He wiped a tear from his eye and smiled up at the teenager.  "Brad... I have to say... part of me really really wants to be weirded out by all of these questions, but it's... strangely refreshing to actually fill in another soul who's not a griffon."

"Yeah?"  Flash smiled wryly.  "And what's so bad about griffons?"

"You mean aside from their ill-temperament, bad breath, and carnivorous ways?"  Carrot shuddered, but the moment of disgust was short-lived.  "Still... they do make good fliers, and Equestria would be in quite a pickle if we didn't have strong and courageous griffons fending off hyrdas and other monsters from beyond the Great Sea."

Flash—however—found himself stumbling over a single detail.  "...you mean you guys don't eat meat?"

Carrot Cake instantly paled... and Flash instantly regretted it.

Thankfully, the awkward moment was shattered by the arrival of three familiar figures.

"How's it holding upppp?" Cup Cake melodically inquired.

"Oh!  Uhm..."  Carrot Cake coughed—a bit too raspily for his own good.  He gladly took a step back and gestured up at the ladder.  "We're on the final stretch!  And by that... I mean he's on the final stretch!  I'm quite flabbergasted, actually!  Brad's done a full week of work in under three hours!"

"Hey!  With your help!" Flash said, pointing down at the stallion.  He returned to the gutter, cleaning the last length of it out with a few well-placed scrapes of the garden rake.  "But it only solves the cause of your problem, y'know.  There's still likely some water damage and mold on the inside of your establishment.  That's gonna take longer to fix, I'm certain."

"Something for us to tackle, no doubt," Cup Cake said.  "In the meantime, however... a certain somepony here would like to ask you something."  She stepped aside, revealing a familiar lime-green shape.

"Uhm... Mr. Brad... was it?"  Lyra Heartstrings looked up with humble eyes.  "You seem to be doing a super bang-up job and all."

"Hey... more than happy to."

"I was wondering... uhm..."  Lyra fidgeted.  "Since you did it so quickly... and... uh... you seem to be enjoying yourself... kinda... or... well... as much as a stallion doing super heavy and sweaty work on gutters could enjoy himself... erm..."

"Oh, for Pete's sake, love..."  Octavia Melody rolled her eyes and marched up into the foreground, peering up at Flash.  "What my dear companion is pointlessly struggling to ask is if you would be so kind as to perform the same task around her friend's establishment on the other side of town."

"Hmmm?"  Flash glanced down.  "Who?"

"Bon Bon," Octavia declared.  Lyra blushed terribly beside her as the mare continued.  "She manages a confectionery not too far from here.  It's a much smaller building than Sugarcube Corner, and you would only be required to tackled the front of the structure—for that's the only spot that contains gutters.  It would appear that Lyra and Bon Bon are slightly concerned with having a similar mildew problem as was transpiring here and—well—you will be rewarded handsomely, I'm sure."  She smirked aside at Lyra.  "Bon Bon is many things—but she is hardly miserly."

Lyra groaned.  "Do you have to be so wordy about it?"

"An abundance of words is far better than no words at all, love."  Octavia nudged her playfully.  "Honestly—for such a talented musician, you could learn to make more noise."

"Mmmmmmmmm... easy for you to say."

"Indeed."

Gulping, Lyra glanced up.  "So... like... would that be cool?  I mean... I know you've done an awful lot of work today.  I really really hope it's not asking too much."

Flash Sentry was silent—not because he dreaded the potential new task—but because he was too busy tripping over the fact that this world also had a "Bon Bon" and it presented whole new opportunities for adorable discovery.  Also—any labor whatsoever meant another opportunity for occupying his time... as well as his mind, which meant less instances of remembering the far less bright and pastel past that his inexplicably hoofed soul was anchored to.

The silence went on for a bit too long, leading Lyra to fidget slightly.  At last, Flash sounded off—with a burst of laughter.

"Hey!  Sure thing!"  He lessened his volume to a sincere chuckle, teetering slightly on the top of the ladder.  "Just point and click and I'm there!"

Octavia and Lyra merely squinted at each other in confusion.  At last, Octavia cleared her throat and said, "So... forgive me for having to catch up, dear sir, but does that mean you're... game, as t'were?"

"Totally."  Flash gestured at the gutters before him.  "Just let me take care of this last bit of gunk and I'll be right over."

"Oh!"  Cup Cake jumped in place.  "The banana bread I owe you!  You should take a break first—"

"Nope."  Flash shook his head.

"No?"

"Gotta beat the daylight hours, right?  I mean... Miss Melody here says it's just one side of the building, but you never know."  Flash smiled pleasantly.  "I'd hate to underestimate the task I'm committing myself to."

Carrot looked over at his spouse.  "He has a point, sweetie-bumps."

"But... but..."  Cup Cake pouted, her plump cheeks turning plumper.  "You've hardly had enough rest as it is!  And I just wouldn't feel right letting you run off without the 'payment' we promised!"

Flash could feel the sincerity and kindness of her words flow through him.  It led him to sigh, although he tactfully sculpted the resulting words:  "It's okay.  I'll just... come back later for them.  When I'm done."

"Please, Mr. Brad, I insist!"

"Yeah... for realsies."  Lyra nodded, looking up at him.  "If it's too much to ask for, you don't have to—"

"Please."  Flash shuddered, pausing to hug the garden rake to his fuzzy pony chest like it was an oddly-shaped pillow.  He gazed down at the gathered townsponies with a soft, vulnerable smile.  "Let me do this for you.  It'll be okay."  He fought a shaky breath to make the next few words come out evenly, handsomely.  "You... don't know how much it means for me to be... useful."

The ponies looked at one another, and they had no arguments.  Only smiles.  It was strong enough to carry the ladder across town to Bon Bon's shop... among other things.