"What does it mean to be reborn? Or to be born again? To... like... metamorphosize from what you were into something greater. Something on a higher level? Caterpillars into butterflies and shit?
"When I was a kid, my parents were obviously juggling multiple botched ways to raise me while also yelling-the-shit out of each other. So, at one point, they had the bright idea of putting me intp Sunday School. What's Sunday School? I won't go into crazy detail, cuz I don't see how it friggin' matters over here in horseland. But—needless to say—I was briefly inundated with a whole bunch of traditional proverbs and thoughts at an elementary school level. They were meant to steer me along a righteous path towards redemption and spiritual fulfillment, which is cool, I guess.
"And... and I remember being taught about 'baptism.' Lots of cultures believe in it, mostly Christian cultures. It's a ritual someone goes through to display before witnesses that he or she is willing to make a transcendent change in their life... that they are willing to undergo a spiritual cleansing and come out the other side transformed... converted... healed... whatever.
"Anyways, this ritual typically meant being dunked in water. I'm talking like a river bank or a baptismal pool or... or... whatever the heck it is that Mormons use. Sorry, I'm rambling again. Anyways...
"...I used to think to myself—as a kid, mind you—that it all seemed so stupidly simple. And easy. I mean—sure—maybe that's the draw of it. Lots of people who believe in baptism are keen on getting people to do it, because... I guess there's some invisible scoreboard for winning souls in heaven or whatever. I don't know. I'm sure there's a lot more complicated stuff to it, but back in Sunday school I couldn't get past how silly and basic it looked on the surface. I secretly told myself—and maybe this is what they really wanted me to do in my head without managing to convey it—that a baptism... a true baptism had to involve a whole hell of a lot more sacrifice... that there had to be some pain and anguish involved with getting rid of your old self... of peeling the former skin away and revealing your sensitive, vulnerable, beating soul underneath.
"That struck a cord with me. And I couldn't... like... think my way out of this ironclad box that I had made for my mind... and soul. So when my Sunday School teachers asked me if I wanted to get myself baptized someday, I straight-up told them 'no.' They probably thought I was just trolling them... or perhaps I was an honest-to-God hellbent devil in sheep's clothing. But truth is, I didn't believe in myself enough to think I could actually go through with such a change. I mean, who could? And who ever really thinks about it? Like, truly actually weighs upon the concept with every inch of your soul? Like... do we even have souls? Are we more than the sum of all our collective actions? And—if we are, and somehow we could cleanse that nebulous loophole essence of ourselves—what does that say about the mark we leave in the footprint of time? Where do you separate one's goodness from one's do-goodness?
"I didn't stay at Sunday school long—for various reasons, mostly my parents' doing—but that sensation of confusion and self-doubt stuck with me for a very long time. I worried so much over agency and purpose that—at some point—I allowed laziness and ennui to reign supreme. I simply gave up on trying to accomplish anything whatsoever. I guided my life towards becoming an artist... a starving musician with nothing to give to this world but subjective creativity. I allowed a crazy powermongering soul to become my girlfriend and dominate my life because cowering to her bullshit day by day was still somehow less stressful than facing my own decisions and aspirations in the cold heart light of my own intuition.
"And after all of that—an entire young teenage life of just... floating around like a loser and deciding nothing... I was left alone. In the darkness. Without a foundation or a foothold or anything. And for a brief moment I figured that maybe... just maybe... taking the plunge into the cold cleansing waters that intimidated me since childhood would have yielded a far better, warmer, prouder fate. But I wasn't about to yield to any faith established by the creatures around me. I didn't believe in them anyways. They wore all the same skins as every saint or asshole I had ever known. No—any baptism, a true baptism—would rely on my own courage to dive in to something unknown... a future unfathomable... an ocean of promises but no guarantees.
"And... and I think that's what brought me here. I think that's what brought me to Equestria. It wasn't to frighten anyone back home. It wasn't to grab for attention. It wasn't to destroy myself or... or d-disappear.
"It was to see if I could transcend. If I could become better than the ambivalent pool of lost souls that I now look back on with nausea and regret. To see if I could find goodness... submerge myself in that... then emerge a changed creature. A better creature. Someone transformed—not in hooves and tails and manes—but in soul. In respect. In good will. And now... now I've gone through with it. I've made the plunge... almost drowned for a bit... and I've come out cold and shivering. And... and h-here I am, I guess."
... ... ...
"And do you feel that it's worked, Flash? Do you feel as though you've actually changed for the better?"
For a moment, I thought Flash had died and the others had performed some sort of necromancy. Good three chapters though, and the sad thing is, this description can only be applied to our world in exactly the same way, religion, conflict and all. Though I suppose that's the point, isn't it?
Wow. Profound.
Traveling to Equestria as a baptismal metaphor, I'm not sure I've seen that before which is odd considering the sheer number of HiE stories I've seen go by.
The basic concept of people thinking of "going to Equestria" as a way to bring about change in them and all that is pretty prevalent in HiEs. I don't think many have the clarity of thought to actually realise they're doing that, but the general concept of "everything will be better once X happens" runs through.
I would appreciate this point more if it was brought up in a way that actually fit the story instead of huge streaks of italics about how everything sucks.
I'm kind of silently hoping that someone just slaps him and tells him to get over it, but that doesn't look like that's the way it's going to go.
I guess I'll reserve judgement until I've seen the whole story, though. That's only fair.
Its like Flash went to the school where everyone else was Biff Tannen the congressmans son?
I think we use water??? Could be alien juice for all I know.
Either way, it's quite warm. Makes the whole getting dunked thing a little more pleasant.
Well, this was interesting too say the least. But I'm not really here to get into a philosophical debate in the comments.
8893800
you said it the best just wow the last posting is so powerful.
Well we all knew this was gonna happen eventually though I was hoping it wouldn't be 3 chapters of Flash complaining about how the world sucks but hopefully we're done now. I don't disagree with these thoughts I've just never agreed with the idea that Equestria is some paradise where everything is great. Because despite being shown through the filter of a kids show Equestria isn't perfect.
But in the context of this story that might honestly be the point and I'm hopeful that someone will give Flash a smack in the head and point out that the problem isn't that Humanity sucks it's just that life sucks but it can also be great. Bad things happen and will continue to happen but that fact should not invalidate all the good that happens. If you choose to only validate the bad then of course you'll be miserable.
I think it's the power of the individual. In Equestria, heroes are everywhere, both big and small. Flash managed to become a hero by stumbling into the role. Back on Earth, the individual has so much less power and impact that it basically feels like you aren't even accomplishing anything at all.
As a Christian, I think Flash described babtism accurately. Sure, there is more to be said about it, but he did a good job of conveying the premise. I don’t like his philosophical rants, however. I’m hoping someone will slap him upside the head and tell him to get over it and be at peace. Also, it would be neat if he talked to Sunset Shimmer somehow so she doesn’t continue to worry about his livelihood. I know Twilught could do that for him, but I feel it would be much more profound coming from Flash.
8895931
wrong person
Now, where do I sign to join whatever cult Flash joined? I want to be baptized by friendship and the beams of Equestria's sun.
That is the key question. For all of Flash's talk of baptism by ponies, has he really changed? Or is he just voicing the dingy greyscale filter still hanging over his view of his own species?
That's not to say there aren't some valid points in the italicized diatribe, but there's valid criticism, and then there's wallowing in shame while all but asking the audience to join in.
Last chapter: "No guys I'm totally not being hyperbolic about the state of the world, let me explain why by talking about baptisms or something."
This chapter: "I had a worthless life before and coming here has been a transformative experience."
What does this have to do with anything? Has Flash just forgotten the topic of the conversation? Is he just not going to address it at all?
Or perhaps, mr brad, you simply abandoned your original character data, where you fudged nearly every encounter, and decided to wipe the slate clean and Make a new one. Thats the thing about impulsive decisions (like walking through the portal), they have very simple reasons for being.
Also, if you’re reason for doing good is to try to prove to yourself that you’re “more good” than everyone else, news flash (heh pun), you’re not.
(Good story and all but god do these last like 4 or so chapters piss me off way more than they should.)
8893987
It was warm for you? Dude it was freezing when I was dunked!
8894280
I know this is old, but my depression stems fromy belief that we can all do better, but greedy powers and apathy and selfishness hold us back.
I truly believe in the good humanity can offer and that's what keeps me going and has me crying all at once.
Tragically beautiful.