How to Disappear Completely

by shortskirtsandexplosions

Stop

"Zippity-Doo-Daaaaa! Zippity-Yaaaaaaay!" Flash Sentry weaved in and around crystalline lampposts as he made for the southwest edge of the Crystal Empire, towards the zeppelin tower. "Myyyy ohhhhh myyyy what a racist songgggggg!"

"Flash!" Frowning, Soarin barreled around a corner. With very little time wasted, the expert Wonderbolt caught up with the teenager. "Dang it, Flash! Stop it right there!"

"Hey! Hey!!!" Flash coiled his wings to his side and aimed his falling fetlocks towards the shiny sidewalk. "Wanna see how far I can slide—?!" His hooves made contact with the ground and he nearly catapulted forward in a deathly somersault. "Oh shiiiiii—!" He scampered, flailed, and grinded to a hault against a lamppost. "Pffffft! Hahahaha! Ow ow ow ow..." He nuzzled up against the lamppost, giggling. "Heehee—guess I need socks for that. And a buttload of wax."

"Dude..." Soarin stood beside him, leering with wings spread. "For once... can't you just slow down?!"

"Slow down...?" Flash tittered out the side of his muzzle. His wingtips plucked invisible acoustic strings as he sang: "You're movin' too fast! Got to make the moment last!" He nuzzled the crystalline pole he was leaning against. "Hello lamppost, whatcha knowin'? Snkkkt—hehehehe—"

"Just... stop! Okay?!" Soarin slapped a hoof down. "STOP!" As his booming voice echoed, he took the moment to glare at the younger stallion. "I let you go full-goofy back at High Paw because it foiled a bunch of catapult assassins! I let you talk Spitfire into using the Wonderbolts to officiate the celebration—because nopony else would pick up the ball! But... but sailing back into the wilderness to fetch the Hawkeye Pack?! That's taking it too far, Flash—"

"Prince Bloomers doesn't seem to think so—"

"Prince Blueblood has the conscience of a tube worm!" Soarin growled, causing a few crystal pony pedestrians to glance curiously across the street. "And saying that is a grave insult to tube worms!" Soarin's teeth showed. "He doesn't care for what's 'harmonic' or 'diplomatic!' He only cares about his own special interests! You knew that and that's why you rubbed him the right way to help you with this crazy scheme of yours! Well it stops now!"

Flash struggled to stand upright against the lamppost. "Soarin, bro—"

"Don't 'bro' me!" Soarin pointed. "Your silly impulsiveness is gonna get you killed, Flash! One of these days—your luck's gonna run out! And I like you too much to let something awful happen to you, ya friggin' featherbrain!" He stomped his hoof once more against the polished sidewalk. "That's why I'm putting an end to your insomniac glide right here and now!"

"But... but it's so close to being perfect...!" Flash gulped, nuzzling the lamppost and shivering. "Soarin... please... you've got to let me work this out just right—"

"Flash, it's already been worked!" Soarin shrugged wildly. "You've assembled a miracle! The best and happiest of Ponyville are right here—setting things up for a royal blast in the Crystal Empire!"

"But... but I can do so much more..." Flash's teeth chattered. "If you would just let me—"

"What, Flash?!" Soarin cackled. "What more could you possibly do?! Why are you in such a crazy freakin' hurry?!"

"... ... ..." Flash's ears folded. He hugged the lamppost, slouching with a vulnerable, foalish expression. "... ... ...they know where I am, Soarin."

"... ... ...?" Soarin merely raised an eyebrow.

Flash gulped. "Twilight Sparkle. The Princess of Friendship. Her allies..." He squirmed. "Maybe even Princess Celestia. If not yet—then soon. They know I'm here... in the Crystal Empire and... and..."

"What?" Soarin shrugged, genuinely curious. "You think they're going to send you away?"

Flash practically whimpered. "Can they do that...?"

Soarin opened his muzzle. He fumbled for words... then plopped back weightedly on his haunches. The Wonderbolt blinked dumbly into the shine between them.

Flash gulped. "Time's running out, Soarin," he said in a tiny, delicate voice. "Please..." He slumped further against the base of the lamppost. "I can't stop. I'm afraid of what will happen when I do." He fought the urge to hyperventilate. "I-I'm afraid of all the chances that I'll lose..."

"Chances to do what?" Soarin spoke quietly too. He leaned down so that he was at face-level with the slumped teen. "You've done so much, Flash."

"Soarin..."

"You really have! Never mind the fact that I wanna suplex the stupid outta you right now." Despite fuming, Soarin managed a slight smirk. "You've truly done so... so much. For Fancy Pants. For Filthy Rich." He gestured at the city around them. "For the Crystal Empire. For Equestria. For Ponyville!" He winced slightly, then let it out: "And f-for me." He shook his head. "You haven't anything left to prove, bro. Trust me... whatever you think you're running from... get over it." A tender smile. "You're a good pony. A good human."

Flash's ears drooped even further. He fought it... but he had to blink.

And his eyes closed...

Comments

[IceKitsune]

Another dream? Hopefully. I really want him to bring up some issues that were brought up in the comments. I know how SS&E likes to use them so if this is another dream sequence coming up I'm sure he will.

[everydaygamer]

" Zippity-Doo-Daaaaa! Zippity-Yaaaaaaay!" Flash Sentry weaved in and around crystalline lampposts as he made for the southwest edge of the Crystal Empire, towards the zeppelin tower. " Myyyy ohhhhh myyyy what a racist songgggggg!"

Was that song actually racist? I know the movie made Disney uncomfortable enough to try and erase it's existence from everyone's minds but I don't remember anything particularly bad about that song.

[Sam the Anti-Ninja]

Hello lamppost, whatcha knowin'?

[Madd]

8813972
Apparently catchy tunes are forbidden.

Incidentally my biggest complaint about this story is that over half of it is bizarro pop culture references and digs on properties that haven't been relevant for decades. Like Family Guy, but set in MLP.

[ProjectRabbid]

Face yourself, Flash

[MythrilMoth]

Finally, somepony knocked some sense into him...

8814264
You're in the wrong story for that. AND wrong big-name horsewriter.

[Fatail]

Zippity-Doo-Daaaaa! Zippity-Yaaaaaaay!"

Yo mom has super gay!

I am so, so sorry. It's my darn addiction to utilizing every Dank meme occasion I see. You may strike me down now.