How to Disappear Completely

by shortskirtsandexplosions

Balls

An hour had passed. The waning afternoon turned into darkening evening. In the meantime, several members of the Wonderbolts had transported a series of canvas tents down from the Midnight Oil. They erected a "meeting station" in the center of the plateau where Fancy Pants, Filthy Rich, and Prince Blueblood could speak face-to-face with the elders... including the elusive members of the Hawkeye Pack.

As it was getting dark, the canines of High Paw kindled multiple bonfires around the site. It lit up the populace's beastly bodies as they gradually came out of hiding. Flash Sentry observed them from a distance, shuffling around like awkward bipeds in various forms of partial dress: vests, bandoliers, overalls and the like. They spoke with one another like humans. Some of them laughed and chuckled. Most of them—however—kept weary eyes and ears trained on the meetings going underway. What mattered was that none of them seemed on edge any more, and as the second hour progressed, Flash noticed more and more canines coming out of hiding... as if the hidden populace of High Paw was growing less and less apprehensive about the presence of magical prancing horse people.

Flash wasn't close enough to listen in on the blossoming negotiations between both groups of ambassadors. Instead, he stood upon the fringes of the bonfires' flickering light. Not that far from him—hovering in the shadows—were two wonderbolts. At the moment, the teenager was far more interested in what they had to say than anypony in Fancy Pants' group. With a certain degree of stealth, Flash Sentry sidestepped until his fuzzy ears could make out the faint echo of Soarin's and Spitfire's conversation.

"...simply figured it was necessary to salvage all future negotiations."

"I understand that, Soarin'—"

"If we exhibit the same fear and distrust as the diamond dogs, then Blueblood and his associates will never make any progress. That's why we absolutely could not pull out. To do so would have wasted the special opportunity we have here with the Hawkeyes."

"Well, so far so good. The council seems willing to talk now. Perhaps willing to change their mind."

"Exactly what I mean, Spitfire."

"But I still don't like the fact that—just hours before—those same mutts were planning to crush the Prince and his partners to glue."

"Not like they were going to have any success in the matter. They're... not exactly the smartest bunch, Spitfire."

"Doesn't matter. It's still a breach of our trust. And you wandering off without a word? Breaking defensive formation to do unplanned reconaissance? That's a breach of trust too. Our trust."

"I'm sorry for that, Captain."

"Nevertheless, it did single-hoofedly save the outcome of this entire expedition. Well done, Soarin'."

"I appreciate it."

"However... if you ever... ever usurp my authority again—in front of the rest of our wingmates, no less—I'll personally see to it that your balls are stapled to the ramparts of Canterlot for all of Equestria to see. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal, Captain."

"Good. But don't get me wrong, Soarin'. It's... strangely relieving that you actually have balls for me to find."

"... ... ...Captain?"

"You showed some guts earlier. For all we knew, I could have bucked your face in and splattered your teeth all over High Paw for challenging my authority. If you ask me, that took more courage than talking down the diamond dogs from a catapult."

"I... don't know what to say, Captain..."

"Aaaaaaaand there they disappear again. Hmmmf. Guess you're the same old Soarin'."

"I am—as always—your loyal wingpony."

"Yeah. I know that, Soarin'. I know."

Flash Sentry blinked. He noted a breathy tone of exasperation in Spitfire's last utterance. Almost melancholic. Before he had a chance to dwell on that—

Spitfire rasped: "This Brad punk. He talked you into snooping out the Hawkeyes, didn't he?"

Flash craned his neck.

He heard Soarin' reply: "Brad... noticed the presence of the Hawkeyes. It was his idea to approach them peacefully and talk some sense into him."

"Soooo... basically this was his idea from the start? Going against orders and disappearing without a trace?"

"I was Brad's self-appointed chaperone the entire time. As the second-highest ranked wonderbolt present, I take full responsibility for everything that took place on Hound Hill."

"Your accountability in the matter is acknowledged. Nevertheless, do you think it's wise to... follow along with this kid's random whim without questioning it?"

"Captain...?"

"I... have a funny feeling about that pegasus. He doesn't seem quite like the rest of us. I think there's more to him than what Fancy Pants insinuates. He's not just some normal outsider."

"He does have an interesting way of looking at things, Spitfire. That much I'll admit."

"You seem to be getting all chummy with the squirt. You would—of course—tell me if you found out anything about him that would be a threat to this expedition?"

Silence.

At last, Soarin' spoke: "If I discover anything alarming, you'll be the first one to know."

More silence.

Flash clenched his jaw muscles, resisting the urge to shiver.

"Very well, Soarin'. I'm off to patrol the perimeter. In the meantime... lay low. Stay within earshot of the negotiations."

"Aye, Captain."

"Dismissed."

Comments

[Booster Spice]

Yup, Flash is still Mostly Harmless.

[Czar_Yoshi]

"Good. But don't get me wrong, Soarin'. It's... strangely relieving that you actually have balls for me to find."

Spitfire, your pickup lines need work.

[MythrilMoth]

Soarin has balls, alright.

But they belong in Rainbow Dash's mouth. Not Spitfire's.

*runs*

[Inugami]

MMmmm
Soarin is a good
I MEAN he COULD have told Spits right there that Flash was not a pony and that he was suspect to an alien first contact situation
but he has Brads back
I trust the blue dude

[Mix-up]

I think Flash is going to let it slip that he was originally a meat eater and that some humans eat horses.

[CSC]

7985641

[pahnazd]

What a lovely bromance we have there.

[IceKitsune]

That was quite the conversation. Spitefire is going to kill Flash if/when she finds out the truth though hopefully the guy will have built up enough good will to counteract that by that point.

[Leftover of Saikano]

7985641 I don't think they can go in anybody's mouth more than a pair of ovaries can. In a previous chapter, with Flash looking at his own body in a mirror, it was established that the lack of visible genitalia in ponies is not due to the art style of the show but because they do not have external genitalia.

[MythrilMoth]

7986167 Way to miss the point. Like...entirely.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Sometimes loyalty means calling the other guy out for their own sake. Not protocol, no, but ultimately necessary.

7985552
Well, he is from Earth.

[PinkiePieFox]

[The Great Derpsby]

"I am—as always—your loyal wingpony."

"Yeah. I know that, Soarin'. I know."

And never anything more.

And it's been killing her for some time now.

Flash, do your thing! Distract them with nonsensical references and idioms until they're too confused to notice you're setting them up for a date!

[Winter Quill]

7986456

I don't think she wants to date him, I think she wants him to replace her but he's never going to take the step to be a leader. They need to sit down and have a talk about what HE wants vs what SHE expects. It might make both of their lives better.

[RadicalDishonesty]

... Maybe Spitfire is the sort that really wants to respect someone for having a backbone... but acts in a way that discourages it anyway?

[Dreadknight garen]

Cuntfire is worst pone confirmed

[Cold Bolt]

I mean, obviously she knows he did the right thing, because everything seems to have turned out okay in the end - but a commanding officer cannot endorse disobeying orders even under those circumstances, because that's basically shooting the chain of command in the foot hoof.