How to Disappear Completely

by shortskirtsandexplosions

Drive

Flash Sentry couldn't remember precisely when the city planners had constructed a two-foot-by-ninety-meter Wal-Mart in the center median of the local highway, but he made sure to signal before drifting his car into the right lane to cruise around it. As he blurred by windows stuffed full of teddy bears and horseshoes, he sighed happily... smiling at the aurora borealis glittering through his windshield high above.

"Ahhhhhhh..." Flash held the steering wheel with one hand while resting his other arm against the edge of a broken R2 unit riding shotgun. "This is the life, isn't it, Artoo?" He closed his eyes, breathing in the salt air of the ocean. "I'm so glad I joined the navy."

From the backseat, he heard a barking sound.

Flash's eyes fluttered open. He looked towards the back of the limousine.

Soarin bounced in the backseat. The pegasus had his panting muzzle stretched felicitously out the open window, and he was drooling into the whipping winds.

"Whoah, bro! Put your seatbelt on!" Flash stifled a chuckle as he looked forward again. He veered the truck in and around pink cartoon flamingoes from Walt Disney's Alice and Wonderland. "Don't make me get the newspaper!"

Soarin let out a nervous yipping sound before turning into a Macbook with a Transformer noise and rattling to the floor of the train.

"You know the rules." Flash Sentry took a left turn and rolled through a school zone. "No dogs in the faculty lot." He slowed as he passed the front lawn of CHS. Forlorn eyes darted out the driver's side window. "They don't know how to park their catapults right..."

A wall of students stared straight back at him, their arms hanging limply by their side. Goosebumps formed along Flash's skin. Looking about, he eventually saw Flower Print sitting on Hank's shoulders. Their eyes were glazed white above angry scowls. Soon after, the sky above went dark, aurora and all.

Flash winced. His fingers gripped tightly to the steering wheel until cracks formed in the plaster.

"Are they enemies of yours?" rippled an ethereal voice. Flash felt a flicker of bright white light in his peripheral.

Squinting, Flash looked to his right to see that R2-D2 had been replaced by the moon. An alicorn silhouette peered darkly at him through a sea of pale craters.

"Your heart sank quite dramatically for a moment there, Flash Sentry."

"Guhhh!" Flash momentarily lost control of the sports car. Tires squeaked, tossing frogs and squirrels into a nearby lake. At last, he regained traction, and cruised safely down a long, long bridge spanning the interior of a supermarket. "Whew... Vice Princi—er... I mean Princess..." A crooked smile. "You gotta work on your entrances."

"A thousand apologies, child. Did I startle you yet again?"

"Nothing to be sorry about... uhhh... your highness." Flash cleared his throat. He glanced at the speedometer; all the numbers were an aphasic blur of disinformation. "You'd think I'd have gained the stomach for weirdness by now."

"Perhaps this is more presentable?" Luna's voice was accompanied by a noticeable dimming of the passenger's side.

Flash looked to his right.

Vice Principal Luna sat prim and proper... in a pastel purple minidress accented by the entire spectrum.

"Snrkkkkt—hahahaha!" Flash guffawed, struggling to keep straight on the road.

Unemotionally, the woman raised an eyebrow. "Does something amuse you?"

"You're dressed as friggin' Rainbow Brite from the old 80s cartoon! That's what! Hahaha—!"

"I simply pulled the design from deep within your subconscious," Luna calmly said. "It appears to have frequent attachment to your youngest memories."

"Ahem... yeah, well..." Flash's human cheeks blushed noticeably. "...d-don't let it get around."

"A most interesting setting," Luna remarked, looking around the claustrophobic confines of the automobile. "I suspect we are in some otherworldly vehicle of some kind?"

"Yeah! And it runs on ancient dead dinosaurs!"

"Dare I ask...?"

"Never mind all that." Flash brandished a bright grin in mid-drive. "How am I doing?"

"Do you refer to the manner in which you pilot this mechanism? I cannot pretend to say that I am a qualified judge, child..."

"No. I mean... y'know..." Flash nodded towards the traffic lines rolling underneath them in the headlights. "...in the waking world! In horsie land! What do you think of my progress? Huh? Have I done it?"

"Have you done what?"

Flash blinked, confused. "I... uh... I-I helped Fancy Pants' expedition negotiate a trade agreement with the diamond dogs."

"Is that a fact...?"

"Yeah! And I totally thwarted a crazy catapult assassination attempt, too!"

"Intriguing."

"That's... that's what you wanted me to do, r-right?" Flash's next grin was a sheepish thing. "Forge peace between equine and canine kind?"

"That is not the case."

"What?" Flash flashed her an awkward look.

Luna was deadpan.

"But..." Flash's fingers kneaded the ten and two of the steering wheel. "...but I thought you told me to go and accomplish something in Equestria—"

"I declared no such thing."

"Whoah, wait..." Flash bit his lip. "You didn't?"

Luna slowly shook her head. "I said that I sensed you had many things to accomplish. Not once did I pretend to say precisely what."

"Uhhh... why?" Flash squinted. "Because this is a test and... you're not willing to tell me?"

"No." She gazed back at him. "Because I simply do not know."

"... ... ..."

Luna folded her human arms. "Is there a reason for you to be tested?"

"I... uhhhhh..."

"I had ascertained that you had come into our world to discover something," Luna remarked. "To prove something—however—is another matter."

Flash gulped. "What if I'm here to do both?"

"Or perhaps neither."

Flash nervously glanced at her again.

"If—in the end—you discover that there is no change to be had or enjoyed, what then, Flash Sentry?"

Flash fought a heavy sigh. "I want to believe that there's something out there for me to do or prove."

"Why is that?"

"Because... b-because if I discover only nothing..." Flash's jaw clenched as he gazed at the road. "...then I'll be right back at where I started. I'll just be myself... and myself is a place I've grown t-tired of."

"Is there a reason why you feel so shameful?" Luna asked. "Even now?"

"You... you don't have any idea, Your Highness."

Luna's wise eyes scraped the roadside. "Don't I?"

Flash heard voices.

He looked out the driver's side window if his car.

Street lamps illuminated a scene, clear a day.

Halfway towards the exit to the supermarket parking lot, he saw a car.

Three people stood outside. One person paced in angry circles, yelling into a phone. Another person was fussing with the dormant car's engine.

There was a third person—a woman—and her belly was swelling. She waved towards the car... towards Flash.

Flash broke into a pale sweat. He couldn't stop his vehicle from slowing down... or his hand from touching the switch to the driver's side window. As it slowly lowered, the cold night air invaded the compartment, stealing his breath away.

The woman approached the car in slow motion. Flash's heart thundered between each step. There were tears.

In the distance, Luna's voice echoed: "You know as well as I do that you won't find it there, my child."

Flash wheezed. Shook.

"Don't be afraid. Keep moving."

The woman's mouth opened, bright as the dawn.

Flash jolted...

Comments

[IceKitsune]

Interesting

[Bookeater_otaku]

Metaphore rich chapter.

[AppleTank]

Gotta have that otherworldly skirstian drivel