How to Disappear Completely

by shortskirtsandexplosions

One

KERPLUNK!

Flash grinded to a halt after having dragged a twenty-foot long trench in the soil.

"Unnnnnnngh..." He wheezed, wincing from head to tail. "Michael Douglas!" he cursed again.

"The sound effects are getting bigger," Derpy declared, touching down beside him. "Let it rest, Mr. Bard. Before you kill yourself."

"Mrmmff... j-just..." The stallion stood up, teetered, fell, and stood up again. "Just one more try..."

"I don't want a student dying on my watch!" Derpy pouted, ears folding. "Please, won't you reconsider?"

"No..."

"But—"

"I... I think I get it..." He coughed, sputtered, then stood up straight after a slight groan. "I'm just... p-putting too much effort into it."

"That's what I've been trying to—"

"I just need to relax." He gulped, flexing his bent feathers. "Not... freak out so much. Next time I lose air, I should gently glide out of it." He turned to smile at her. "It takes no thoughts, you see!"

Derpy smiled proudly. "That's my motto!"

"Alright. Here we go again."

"But... could we do it another time, Bard?"

"It's now or never, Ms. Hooves."

"Your determination is awesome and all... but I really really think you should try and... not risk hitting the earth again." She clenched her jaw muscles in the light of the setting sun. "How else do you think I got these eyes?"

"Tell you what." He looked straight at her. "I bet you that I can fly after this next try! If I'm wrong... then... uhhhhhh... you get to eat all of the remaining muffins that I brought here!"

"What's the point in muffin delicacy when you're dead?"

"Please, Miss Hooves." Flash insisted. "I must make this happen."

"But... in a day?! Why such a big hurry, Mr. Bard?"

Flash bit his bottom lip. "... ... ...because I can't stop moving."

Derpy sighed. She fidgeted in place. "...I get the whole basket of muffins?"

"That's right."

Derpy gulped. "Well..." A nervous chuckle. "At least I'll get to live with myself deliciously... eheheh..."

Flash smiled from muzzle to muzzle. "Good! Now...." He flapped his wings—gently this time. "Try to keep up!"

Comments

[Hap]

"The sound effects are getting bigger," Derpy declared

[PropMaster]

I live how you write Derpy. Love. LOVE. She's amazing.

[Haysit T Ganaram]

LOL
Try to keep up!
Dead.

[Czar_Yoshi]

At the rate things are going, he's going to crash into Twilight.

[Marauder15]

7878749 If he does, I will die of laughter.

[Icarus_Con_Queso]

"I don't want a student dying on my watch!" Derpy pouted, ears folding. "Please, won't you reconsider?"

You know, there is something to be said that she didn't have the word "another" in that first sentence.