Decency
Flash Sentry composed himself by the time that Soarin' drifted over. He stood by a boulder or two, pretending to be absorbed in the meeting underneath the tent several feet away.
"You suppose they're making any progress?" Flash quipped.
"I don't know," Soarin' remarked, coiling his wings by his uniformed sides. "Thanks to you, there's a chance for actual, legitimate hope." He breathed in the evening air, squinting through the dim descent of night. "Fancy Pants' enthusiasm—once nearly squelched—is now alive and burning again. That should carry the conversation somewhere in everyone's favor. A certain distance, anyway."
Flash nodded. "You suppose the... uh... Hawkeye Pack will find a proposal they'll agree on?"
"Maybe. They seemed pretty convinced about our good-will after our conversation."
Silence.
Flash bit his bottom lip. "Are you... uhhhh... gonna be crucified by Spitfire?"
Soarin' threw him a crooked glanced. "'Crucified?'"
"Y'know..." Flash smiled crookedly. "Where they flog you, nail you to a cross, wait for you to die... then three hundred years later some emperor legalizes a religion in your name?"
"I'm... afraid I don't follow."
"It's okay. Most don't. Even when they think they do."
"I will be fine, Flash," Soarin' insisted. "You don't have to worry about me and Spitfire... if that's what you're rambling on about."
"You sure, dude?" Flash arched an eyebrow. "She's a tough cookie. I'm talking tougher than Windmill Cookies."
"Heh..." Soarin' smirked slightly. "She's learned to trust me in even hairier times than this. I don't think this moment's gonna end up any different."
"Things sounded more than 'hairy' just a moment ago," Flash muttered. "Felt more like porcupine quills in the ear."
"Ehhhh... her bark is worse than her bite. I swear—she growls and hisses all the time just to practice for the act of chewing out cadets."
"And you're... cool with this?"
"Hey." Soarin' shrugged. "It wouldn't be Spitfire if she wasn't caustic about everything."
"Just her style, huh?"
"More or less. Good wing. Bad wing."
"You two must have it all down pat."
"She's the authoritative one," Soarin' said, glancing down at the stone surface of the plateau. "I'd be pretty aimless without her."
"Get out of town, dude. Face it. She needs you."
"Hmmmmmm..." Soarin' hummed through smiling lips. He kicked at a pebble or two. "I know what I know. She knows what she knows. Together... we're a great team."
"Totally. I get that now." Flash nodded. Flash sighed. Flash remarked: "Soooooooo... as a team member, I bet she's expecting you to report on all things otherworldly and weird."
Soarin's jaw clenched.
Flash gulped. "I'm tickled pink, bro... but you had every reason to tell your commanding officer what I just told you."
"Why?" Soarin' glanced over. "Is there a reason for us to feel threatened?"
"No. I just..." Flash sighed, slumping slightly where he stood. "...don't... w-want you getting burned because you put your neck out for me."
"When the time came, and you felt ready..." Soarin' squinted at the other stallion. "Would you tell Spitfire the truth?"
Flash was silent.
"Just for sincerity's sake."
"I... guess." Flash sighed. "If it's that important." He sighed harder.
Soarin' noticed. He asked: "Is it?"
"No. I mean yes. I mean..." Flash ran a hoof through his blue bangs. "I... suppose it's only natural that it happen sooner than later. After all..." He smiled bashfully. "You're the second pony who knows..."
"... ... ...that you're not from this world?" Soarin' suggested.
Flash nodded.
"Well... wh-who's the first?"
"A mare I met back in Ponyville. Sweet pers—er... pony. Really talented and has a love for music."
"I see." Soarin' nodded. "Did it help to tell her?"
"Kinda, yeah."
"...did it help to tell me?"
"Well, to be fair, man..." Flash looked squarely at Soarin'. "I haven't told you much."
"That could change."
"... ... ..."
Soarin' held up both hooves with an innocent expression. "I promise not to tell Spitfire or anypony else unless you want me to."
"You sure you're willing to carry such a burden?"
"I don't think the weight's all on me, bro."
Flash bit his lip.
Soarin' took a breath and calmly asked: "Exactly what is a... 'hoo-mahn being' anyways?"
Flash giggled.
Soarin' raised an eyebrow.
"It's human. Human!" Flash smiled. "Jeez-Louise. You don't have to pronounce it like a friggin' Ferengi, dude."
"Are Ferengies other creatures who live in your world?"
"What? No!" Flash spat. "They're a made-up—mmmmm!" He face-hoofed, calmed, and spoke in a soft tone. "Humans are the only creatures living in my world who can speak and... y'know... build a civilization." He coughed. "For what it's worth."
"What are they like?" Soarin' asked, his voice full of foalish curiosity.
"Well, we're like you," Flash said. "Only... uhm... we stand upright, pay taxes, and wear clothes."
"Well, ponies wear clothes," Soarin' remarked.
"Yeah but—like—we do it all the time." He blinked. "Except on certain beaches that my uncle's been to."
"What for?"
"Pffft. I dunno. I've never been to Miami."
"No, I mean..." Soarin' glanced at his uniform, then at Soarin's lack of clothing. "Why wear clothing all the time? Do you live in a military state?"
"No."
"Are there Galloping Galas every day?"
"...the Hell is a Galloping Gala?"
Soarin' chuckled. "Seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through all the time."
"We have to, man!"
"What for?"
"Because... it... I-I dunno!" Flash shrugged. "Humans have more dangly parts than ponies." He blinked into the darkening horizon. "Except when we don't. Then it's... kinda awesome not to wear clothes."
"I think you're confusing me even more when you're trying to explain stuff."
"It's about common decency," Flash said. "You wouldn't—like—fart in somepony's face, would you?"
"What?" Soarin' grimaced. "Goddess, no!"
"Well, a few tiers below that is... adhering to no nudity!" Flash smiled. "It's considered polite and respectful not to expose yourself to other human beings. Plus—we're not nearly as fuzzy as ponies. Sooooo... uhhhh... clothing protects us from the elements more."
"Now that's very interesting."
"If you say so."
"And your hooves," Soarin' remarked, craning his neck curiously. "Do you wear shoes on only half your limbs since you walk upright?"
"Mnghhhhhh..." Flash sighed into his fetlock. "...this is going to take a while."
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wow and/or whoa
Crucifiction?
first on the left, one cross each.
Trying to explain naked apes to a horse without saying "hairless apes". God, Flash, you ARE a dumbass.
I think Flash will still somehow mange to find a way to bungle explaining what it as hu-mane. And for what it is worth I don't think Spitfire would even believe Soarin if he was to come clean about him, especially at how clumsily he goes about explaining things. And, she would probably just think that Flash is making it up or use a lie to cover an even bigger lie. I still think that Flash will be accused of being one of Chrysalis renegade Changelings.
Trying to explain a human to a pony is like trying to describe sight to the blind. I think flash will just end up confusing soarin further, to the point where soarin pretends to understand just to make flash stop.
Flash? Luna called, she'd like a word...
Glad Soarin' is taking this so well, but I guess that shouldn't be a surprise he clearly trusts Flash quite a bit.
Ohhhh, it keeps going.
Wait, an emperor legalized Christianity?
I mean, some hoo-mahns wear shoes on their hands. It's pretty impractical, but...
Flash is about to explain humanity to Soarin'.
Better leave out the worst parts or he'll just start crying, poor guy.
Crucifiction? Is that a crossover slash fiction? I have this one lemon fic starring all white haired pretty boys named "Either you die a Kaworu or live long enough to become a Griffith"
Yeah, explaining humanity isn't going to be easy for either party here. Lots of preconceived notions on both sides. Still, at least Flash has someone nearby he talk to without pretending to be Brad.
7990863
Christianity was highly persecuted by the Roman Empire, up until Emperor Galerius issued an edict saying that they were to be allowed to practice their religion in 311AD. Emperor Constantine's Edict of Milan in 313 granted Christianity a legally-protected status and aimed to make reparations for prior persecutions. It became the state religion of the Roman Empire in 380 by imperial decree.
7990863 Emperor Constantine. Though by that time "Christianity" was a deformed bastard-child of Roman/Norse Paganism re-branded with a few Judeo-Christian elements...
I don't know what's worse: the physical torture, or the idea that a persecuted for centuries religion would be suddenly legalized in your name by one of the most powerful empires in history, only to be twisted by the hundreds of heads of the various existing branches, sects, and creeds into a singular oppressive theocracy that would directly and indirectly influence multiple nations worldwide in a mostly negative fashion for over a thousand years until splitting into various incarnations of itself in several attempts to reorganize into something that resembled the original, only to realize that it's all for naught because the original was lost to the ages, but continuing forward anyway because hey, at least one of them has probably gotten it right.
Flash came very close to explaining boners. He and Soarin will be sword fighting in no time.
Wow... And here I thought Flash was worried Spitfire would yell harshly at Soarin, but dayum!
7990863 Constantine I, hence why Istanbul used to be Constantinople, in honor of him. The rumour goes he was baptised on his deathbed, becoming the first Christian Emperor and was a Pontiff Maximus (basically a pope) as well as presiding over the council of Niceae
7993823 You got some heavy ballistas making a joke like that.
Surprised things have gone this well for Flash so far, seems he really is a good luck charm in pony land. Also very interesting to see him developing this friendship with Soarin, I'm curious how his non-mane six connections will continue to help him as he spends more and more time here. Soarin seems to be in quite the position to help Flash, not only from a 'getting acclimated to Pony society' way but also a 'lending an ear and a fellow male perspective' way. I hope he'll continue to be part of the circle of friends Flash is forming.
It's nice to see this story continuing to break from the traditional HiE (or, well, ponified HIE) tropes by having Flash explain human decency to Soarin rather than Twilight. Really goes to show how much Flash has bonded with the guy to begin telling him about his true species.
NUUUU!!!!!!!!
D:
Ah'm on the last chapter!? Haooowwww!?
Aw.
Shipping senses... tingling...
7994226
Please. Trebuchets are the way to go.
8057191 You got me there. Trébuchet good sir.
Any hope of seeing more of this story gain? I really miss the up dates. It was aways a great read and I loved Flash's cluelessness in the story.
I happened to be invested on this.
I still hope for an update.
I bet twilight will read a new paper and find brad!
I still check this for updates once a week ;)
Oh no! I caught up to the latest chapter!
And... tracking.
Hey Skirts, is this going to be continued soon? I really enjoyed this fic so far, and wanted to know what happens next
Shots fired
Christ he did it again