My dear friends,
For you are truly all my friends—whomever of you ultimately picks this up. Whether it be Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash or Applejack, Rarity or Fluttershy or Pinkie Pie, Principal Luna or Principal Celestia—hell—even Mr. Turner or the lunch lady or Hank or Kyle or Chris from the old gang. Even if I don't know you and you're reading this, I still consider you a friend, because we're all in this together. I just didn't own up to the part I had to play in it all until just recently, and I'm the only one to blame for that.
Anyways, whoever you are, please don't be worried. No, I'm not committing suicide or doing anything else horrible like that.
And, despite where this envelope was found, no, I haven't gone back to Equestria either. I can't go back there. Not anymore... at least not now. Another time—after I've gotten things worked out—then maybe. But that's not my destiny for the time being. That I can say with absolute certainty. What my destiny actually is...? That's the true mystery, and it'd be pretty darn stupid for me—or for any of us, for that matter—to pretend to know what it is... or to pretend that we can actually be prepared for what it is. Doing what we're doing now. Doing what I have been doing all this time up until now, at least.
But, truth is, I am leaving. Where am I going? I can't say. Not that I don't want to share, but simply because I don't know where I'm going. I haven't discovered yet. I'm not sure when I will discover. Maybe it'll take a week to start my new life. Maybe it'll take years. But one thing I do know for sure is that I can't stay here. Nobody can stay here. Nobody should stay here... or where they are... or where they're told to be.
It's just too damn toxic. For me, at least. Maybe it's on account of the fact that I've had my eyes opened recently. Or perhaps it's just because I've gone insane. Take it as you will, but being here is killing me... and staying here will bury me. And I've come so far and learned so much and I mean so much to this universe to let any of that happen. So I must remove "here" from the equation... and just let the math solve itself. Like gravity.
I must move on. To where? I don't know. Anywhere, I suppose... so long as I am learning in my doing... instead of doing-nothing in my so-called 'learning.' I really honestly don't know who it was who sat down and wrote the rules of life that say that we have to roll over for the system that compartmentalizes us... but they were wrong. And that's not to say that anarchy should reign supreme or that we can kill and maim and screw anyone and anything as we feel like. Only a mad man would accept that sort of a lifestyle. And yet—are we not all mad men who somehow think that this is okay? This systematic cattle chute that funnels us down into predictable cookie-cutter careers of lethargic acceptance?
Look. We live in a cruddy world. It's always been horrible and it always be horrible. There are those who say that we've only ever improved and gotten better over time. And I agree. Human civilization has indeed improved and gotten better... at dishing out the horribleness to more and more people. That's the real tragedy—the relative static nature of "awful" that permeates every generation that has ever lived. And that's not to say that there aren't the exceptional altruistic selfless few who would saw off their own leg to feed a family of four. Such heroes are admirable... but I won't become one of them by staying here. I won't become anything by staying here... by just giving in... by accepting that somehow this is the way things should always be.
Somebody's gotta do something. Even if none of us exactly knows or affords what that something is... it doesn't change the fact that we gotta act... we gotta move... we gotta live... live through the moment and live through the filth and live through each other. We can't achieve perfection and we'd be foolish to try... but we gotta try anyways, for as long as we wait for someone else to try in our stead—alone or in bunches—all that ever happens is the waiting and not the changing, and then nothing ever gets done and we'd might as well have given up by accepting the here and now instead of the there and then.
Something profound has happened to me. Something beautiful. Something miraculous. Something that I put off for far too long because I was too busy dwelling on the past and feeling sorry for myself and suckling on the delicious teats of living life dead. I touched magic with my bare hands—well, hooves—and it had a healing effect on me. But the healing is over with, and now I must move on from that magic and do what I can for the real world. I can't say that this magic would do the same thing for everyone else, but that's the thing about divine revelations. It's all relative, and the only inspiration that matters is the kind that gets people to act... and to act in a way that's beneficial to everyone else. I can't say yet if I'm actually destined to do great things for people, because that's a pretentious cherry on an already pretentious sundae. But the difference between what I believed in yesterday and what I believe in now is that today's inspiration is taking me somewhere real. I would like to think that each and every one of you who reads this gets taken someplace someday as well. We should all be so lucky to live life twice.
Sunset, if you're reading this, please know that I'm happy for everything you've done for me, and I understand the lengths that you and Twilight and Shining Armor and Celestia and Luna and the rest of the gang have gone to in order to protect what's beyond the mirror. Even if it made me look like a even goofier moron—which is admittedly funny and well-deserved in hindsight—I'm not even the slightest bit offended. What you've done for CHS and the world at large—and what you continue to do—is a blessing to everyone who stands to benefit from harmony. You've saved my life more than once, which is precisely why I've decided not to waste that gift. Please know that I aim to take all of the lessons that you and the gals have taught me by heart... wherever I may happen to take them.
Celestia and Luna, I apologize for all the trouble I've caused you. You certainly don't deserve it, and it touches my heart that you were willing to work alongside Sunset Shimmer to keep me enrolled at your school. While I freely admit that I feel like CHS has drowned me with toxicity from time to time, I don't find that to be a fault of your administration. Even with all the virtues of harmony at our disposal, there'll always be a few bad eggs. I've just come to learn that there really is no way for me to reach out to them, but that doesn't mean I can't reach out to others. There's a big world out there. You've both found your part to play, and now it's high time I found mine.
For my parents, I can't imagine that this turn of events will come easy. In fact, I hope it doesn't. I fully expect this to be the final straw that breaks the camel's back. And if there's any justice left to be dredged from this crazy world, it will finally convince the two of them to part ways... for that would indeed be the healthiest decision either of them could have made for themselves in decades. Please know that I'm in no way complaining about the way I was raised—they both fed me and provided for me and they didn't abuse me. Not intolerably, at least. But the worst thing I could possibly do to show my gratitude is stick around. All these years, I've amounted to nothing but needless glue holding together a sinking ship. I wish Mom and Dad happiness and prosperity... wherever their dual paths may lead them.
Sunset, I know it's not my place to make requests of you at a time like this. Nevertheless, I would selfishly ask that you put a good word in to Soarin back in Equestria for me. If you don't know who that is, I promise you that Princess Twilight does. If Soarin asks about me and where I've been, tell him I'm off to save the world. And if that proves too hyperbolic, then just be honest: I'm going away somewhere to find myself and then find ways to help those around me. If he's worried, tell him not to be. I'm way more friggin' equipped to deal with what lies ahead than he is—in this world, at least. And I still owe him for all he's done for me in Equestria—which I shall always hold dearly to my heart. That one week in horseland means more for me and has taught me far more than twelve years of public school education. Since the big goof is becoming a teacher and all—a flight teacher—I'm certain part of him will be amused by that. And if he isn't, tell him I'll come over personally and torture his funny bone myself. Because I do intend to see him again someday. I intend to see everyone again someday.
But that's going to be a while from now. How long? I don't know. Maybe it's going to be years from now. Maybe it'll be forever from now... because—let's be honest here—I don't know if whether or not what I'm doing is going to end up getting me killed. That's not to freak anyone out, but just being true-to-facts. I'm walking into the great unknown. It seems pretty idiotic from the get-go, but people don't ever become heroes just by playing it safe. I've spent my whole life taking from this world; now I must find a way to give back. The last thing I've decided to take is a risk, and this is it. No more sticking around. I'm making the leap. And before anyone calls me impulsive or childish for doing this, just know that it's been a long time coming. All my life, this moment has been coming. Equestria? That was the one true impulsive thing, and in the end it was just preparation for this. Some of us put on magical geodes, summon rainbow-colored dress spheres and kick abominable Everfree homunculi in the face. Others start a cross-country life on the road. Pick your crazy, but we're all out to change the world. That—I think—is what matters. It's where I matter... and it's why I can't stay here.
And please know that I don't do this to spite you. I do—in fact—very much love you. Each and every one of you... on this side of the mirror and beyond. You have all been such wonderful and supportive and endearing friends to me. As I once heard Princess Twilight say, Friendship is Magic. But Magic is only the start of the solution, and now I'm on the road to discover the rest. Thank you, Soarin, Sunset, and the rest—for helping me get a good tailwind.
Sincerely, with love and respect and harmony,
-Flash Sentry