My Very First Nightmare Night. Guess Pip and I have Something in Common
My Very First Nightmare Night. Guess Pip and I have Something in Common
___________________________________________________________
I really don’t think that’s a good idea.
I glance over my shoulder at the human, Equestria Girls (the only one who is dressed) and anthro me, all of whom are sitting on the furniture in my room, watching as I try to choose a costume to wear.
I’ve currently got my mane and tail in a smooth style, both tied into ponytails, coloured with pink, yellow and purple. I have wings on my sides and a horn on my head.
“What?” I frown, glancing over myself. “Filly Cadance. What’s wrong with that?”
The fact that Twilight doesn’t interact with Cadance until the wedding, the EG me says, stretching her arms back over her head. If you go out dressed as Cadance, she’ll get into contact with Cadance, and they might talk about the eventual wedding that’s coming up. Twilight’s not meant to know about it til the last minute.
I frown, before rolling my eyes. “Fine. How about this?” there’s a flash and suddenly I look like filly Celestia.
They look at each, before shaking their heads.
My frown deepens. Another flash and I look like Luna. Another shake and flash and I look like Nyx.
They all blink, before glancing at each other, before shrugging.
I roll my eyes. “Really?”
EG me shrugs. It would be unique.
I frown, thinking about it, before shaking my head. “I’m going as Woona.” There’s another flash and I’m back to being Luna, only, I’m a filly version of the one scene at the end of the second episode, all the way back in season one.
My mane and tail are slightly curled styled and coloured a greyish-blue. My coat is a slightly light-blue and, glancing in the mirror, my eyes have normal pupils, with cyan irises. On my flank is a splotch of black behind a white crescent moon.
I look to the other for their opinions, but they just fade away as they shrug.
I roll my eyes. Sure, messing around on Nightmare Night would be great; I’d certainly love to help Dash with her pranking tonight, but tonight is also Luna’s first Nightmare Night.
I wanna give her some extra reassurance that not all of Equestria still fears her. I know where I can and cannot interfere with the timeline in regards to this night, but it doesn’t mean I can’t both have a bit of fun and be a comfort to Luna and seeing somepony dressing as her for Nightmare Night should make her feel a bit better.
Not wanting to have to listen to Spoiled go on and on about how my costume should be better, aka, whatever she wants me to be, I teleport straight out of the mansion, appearing not too far from Twilight’s Library.
I can see a group of foals gathered around, Pipsqueak right at the back as Twilight gives the three fillies their candy.
Smirking, I trot over, listening as I hear Pip saying, “Pipsqueak the Pirate, at your service. It’s my very first Nightmare Night.”
I honestly pause, before shaking my head. Pip’s voice doens’t sound as off compared to his later appearance as I remember for this episode. But, I have to remind myself, this is the world of mlp itself. Some things that changed in the show are bound to either be different or not have happened at all. Pip’s voice sounding meh seems to be one of them. He sounds like the Pipsqueak from Crusaders of the Lost Mark.
“Since you moved here from Trottingham?” Twilight asks as I come closer.
“No,” Pip shakes his head. “My very first Nightmare Night ever!”
I honestly can’t help blinking as I watch Pinkie’s part play out. Seriously, I know I’m a being of chaos, but where was she before she leaps up like that? I’m right behind the group and I didn’t see her til she leaped up.
As the group turns to leave, I decide to speak up.
“So, this is your first Nightmare Night ever, too? Then we have something in common.”
The group pauses, before turning to look at me. I give a cute smile (hey, if I’m gonna dress as Luna’s cutest deviant, I may as well milk it for all it’s worth, right?) and wave.
They all blink, confusion settling on their faces.
“Uh, and who’re you, little one?” Granny Smith asks, her expression telling me she sees something familiar, but can’t remember what.
I keep my cute smile up. “I’m Woona.”
Granny Smith frowns in contemplation. “Ah don’t know no filly named Woona. Ya new around here?”
I roll my eyes. “Way to break the illusion of Nightmare Night, Granny Smith.”
“Oh, I get it,” Pip smiles, taking a step closer. “You wanna keep in character.”
I nod, closing my eyes to make my smile even more adorable. “Yep. So, can I come with you guys?”
“Sure!” Pinkie cheers, popping up behind me. To my credit, I only give a small flinch. “More ponies means more candy! Come on!”
So, I join the small group, ending up at the back as we move along.
As we walk, Pip slows down a bit to join me. “So, was what you said true? This is your first Nightmare as well?”
I nod. “Yeah. I... kinda never got to spend Nightmare Night out.”
He cocks his head. “Why? What happened?”
Hmm. Pip is pretty new to Ponyville, so he probably hasn’t heard about me yet.
Grinning, I look at him. “Well, I kinda was in hospital. But, I’m better now, so I can enjoy my first Nightmare Night. And I’m glad I get to spend it with you, Pip.”
Seeing as he pretty much led... no, will lead the CMC to the path that has them help Diamond come out of her shell and be herself, not the pony Spoiled wants her to be, and I’m glad I can interact with him.
I inwardly frown at the slight blush that forms on his face as I say that. What’s up with him?
We visit the Cake’s bakery... which confuses me, since I know they were out when Twilight’s walking through town. So, either they closed up and left to enjoy the festival after Pip’s group leaves or... I dunno.
After we get some cakes that remind me of Twinkies back home (not that I ever got to enjoy a Twinky before), we stop by Miss Cheerilee’s (who's dressed as a simple ghost, you know, the white sheet kind) place and get some more goodies, before she leaves her house to join the festival.
We have to wait before heading back towards the festival due to Granny Smith falling asleep in the middle of road. Seriously, that mare can fall asleep in the weirdest ways and times. Then we take her back to her farm so she can do that whole scary maze thing they did in season five... okay, my brain hurts trying to fit it all together sometimes.
As we walk after leaving Granny Smith behind, I spot Twilight and Spike a little away. I glance around, knowing what’s coming and, sure enough, as Pinkie confronts Twilight and talks about what we all did together, I see Dash dressed as a Shadowbolt and brining her black cloud closer.
I smirk. Kinda glad Dash is going to prank the others like that. It means I can move away from the group and join Twilight without seeming rude and, if asked why I didn’t go with them, I can simply say they ran so fast they left me behind.
Pinkie squawks when the lightning bolt blasts and flees, the other foals following after her.
As Twilight chastises Dash for her prank, I move over and just wait for the right moment.
Twilight levitates back onto her back and moves to leave.
“Ahem?”
She stops, looking around, before glancing down and spotting me. She blinks in confusion for a moment, before cocking an eyebrow. “Um...?”
I roll my eyes and float into the air, before a flash blinds her from behind and Spike sits up, sighing. “Phew. I can breathe again.”
She looks over her shoulder at Spike, then me, then Spike again, before comprehension dawns on her. “Screwball?” she asks uncertainly.
I grin, plopping back on the ground. “Got it.”
She cocks an eyebrow. “Where’re you dressed as...?” She looks me over, before looking more confused. “Are you... dressed as Princess Luna?”
I shake my head. “I’m Woona.”
She frowns. “Huh?”
I shrug. “It’s what I call the form she had right after you girls saved her with the Elements.”
She blinks a few times, before understanding dawns on her. “Oh. Right.”
I smirk. “Nice Starswirl the Bearded costume, by the way.”
She smiles. “Glad somepony around here knows her historical figures.”
Spike rolls his eyes. “Come on, let’s get back to the festival.”
“Mind if I tag along?” I ask, looking up at her with puppydog eyes. Combine these with Woona and there’s no escape.
Very quickly she relents. “Alright. But no pranking. We’ve got enough of that from Rainbow Dash tonight.”
I smile innocently and nod, before following her and Spike further into the celebrations.
Ponies do glance at me with odd expressions. Probably because they don’t know who I’m dressed as, but notice the wings and horn pretty easily.
We move over to Applejack at the Bobbing for Apples game, where I see Derpy and Carrot Top getting ready to give it a try, Derpy wearing that odd but cute paper bags costume and Carrot Top a devil costume.
A thought occurs to me. How did Derpy end up in the water in the first place?
Smirking, I use a little magic and teleport her inside the basket. Moments later, she pops out, holding a plug and chain that weren’t in the basket a second ago and the water drains out.
Applejack and Twilight blink in confusion, before Twilight looks to me with a slight frown. “Screwball?”
I smile at her innocently. “Yes, Twilight?”
Twilight’s next words are cut off by the cheers from the crowd by the stage as Mayor Mare begins her speech.
We walk over, Twilight seeming to forget about scolding me and we wait at the back, listening.
“Now, all the little ponies who have been out collecting sweets should follow our friend Zecora to hear the legend of... Nightmare Moon!” She then gives an what’s clearly meant to be a spooky laugh.
Spike puts a claw to his mouth. “Spooky voice might work better if she wasn't dressed like that.”
“Tell me about it,” I say, rolling my eyes.
Twilight just giggles.
Smoke burst upon the stage and Zecora appears through it, dressed in the creepy, yet beautiful way she was in the episode. “Follow me, and very soon, you'll hear the tale of Nightmare Moon.”
Twilight, Spike and I follow Zecora as she leads Pinkie and the other foals into the clearly where the Nightmare Moon statue is.
I can’t help smirking. I had a lot of time to think how I could help Zecora make this scarier and I know what I need to do. This is going to be fun.
“Listen close, my little dears, I'll tell you where you got your fears” she began, before moving close to several of the fillies, causing them to huddle “of Nightmare Night, so dark and scary.” She returns to the statue and blows on her green powder, sending it into the air, where it formed into Nightmare Moon’s visage. “Of Nightmare Moon, who makes you wary.”
The green apparition of Nightmare Moon flies down, bursting on the ground around everypony, causing them to gasp, though I just smirk, turning into a cloud of smoke and move amongst the green. Time to make Zecora’s plans work a little better than she’d intended.
“Every year, we put on a disguise, to save ourselves from her searching eyes,” she says, causing Pip and another filly to scream before running off, at which point she leaps out of smoke, smirking.
“But Nightmare Moon wants just one thing: to gobble up ponies in one quick swing!”
I smirk from within the smoke as Pipsqueak and Pinkie back into each other and scream.
The smoke Nightmare Moon goes around, making the effort of searching, whilst everypony wilts and look on in fear. “Hungrily, she soars the sky. If she sees nopony, she passes by. So if she comes and all is clear,” the smoke pony flies into the air and bursts, “Equestria is safe another year!”
Pipsqueak moves over to Zecora. “Uh, Miss Zecora, if we wear costumes to hide from Nightmare Moon, so she won't gobble us up, how come we still need to give her some of our candy?”
Heh, heh. Now my turn to play the part, Zecora.
“A perfect question, my little friend,” Zecora smiles to Pip, then smirks. “For Nightmare Moon you must not offend.” She blows on the dust, creating another smoke Nightmare Moon. “Fill up her belly with a treat or two, so she won't return to come eat you!”
As she finishes and the smoke Nightmare Moon explodes as it hits the ground, enveloping everypony, I zip through the smoke, flicking everypony in a way that feels like something bitting them. It yields the intended results.
Pinkie Pie screams, before rushing over to the statue and dumping all her candy at once. “Everypony! Just dump some candy and get out of here!”
A sudden thunderclap provides enough of a distraction that Twilight doesn’t notice me returning and taking on Woona’s form again as the wind starts whistling.
As the clouds circle until it looks like we’re in the eye of a cyclone, the moon flashes and a chariot with a scary night theme, being pulled by two Thestral stallions charges down through the skies.
I can’t help grinning. It looks a lot cooler seeing this in person than just watching it on the TV.
The chariot halts in midair.
Pinkie Pie gasps. “It's Nightmare Moon! Run!”
I watch the others, even Zecora, run off, staying by Twilight, before looking up at the cloaked figure on the chariot, smiling. Finally, I can meet Princess Luna.
I teleport myself and Twilight back into town just as the sky darkens and Princess Luna’s chariot stops in the air above the town.
Luna lowers down and lands, thrusting her head back, sending the hood down to reveal Luna’s face, which is followed by everypony dropping down, their hooves over their heads.
Twilight looks shocked, before a small smile comes to her face. “Princess Luna!”
However, we’re both pulled down by Spike, who indicates for us to shoosh, to which we both roll our eyes.
“CITIZENS OF PONYVILLE! WE HAVE GRACED YOUR TINY VILLAGE WITH OUR PRESENCE, SO THAT YOU MIGHT BEHOLD THE REAL PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT!”
I can’t help but wincing at the volume. Jeez. Hearing the Royal Canterlot Voice in person is a lot more painful on the eardrums than I thought it would be.
Princess Luna continues her speech, just as she did in the episode, until she gets to the part where she realizes that the ponies aren’t going to change from their prostrating. |Very well, then. Be that way. We won't even bother with the traditional royal farewell.”
With that she trots off, leaving everypony else to what they will.
Twilight gets up. “I'm gonna go talk to her.”
Spike grabs her cloak, holding her back. “You can't talk to her! She's Nightmare Moon!”
Twilight frowns at him. “No, she's not,” she pulls her cloak out of his grasp. “I saw the Elements of Harmony change her back to good. But it seems like she's having some trouble adjusting after being gone for a thousand years.”
___________________________________________________________
We walk back towards the statue, finding Luna sitting within its shadow, pushing a piece of candy this way and that sadly.
“Princess Luna?” The Alicorn turns to look at us. “Hi, my name is –”
“Star Swirl the Bearded,” Luna interrupts her. “Commendable costume! Thou even got the bells right.
Twilight smiles. “Thank you! Finally! Somepony aside from Screwball who gets my costume!” I nudge her and she glances down, before I point to Luna, who’s wearing a slightly sad expression. “Uh, I just came to welcome you to our celebration! My actual name is –”
“Twilight Sparkle,” Luna says, before she floats up and I prepare myself as she booms in the RCV, causing me to actually have to grab Twilight’s cloak with my teeth to stop myself being blown away, even though she herself is being blown back. “II WAS THOU WHO UNLEASHED THE POWERS OF HARMONY UPON US AND TOOK AWAY OUR DARK POWERS!”
“And that was a good thing, right?” Twilight asks once we’re able to get our footing again.
“But of course,” Luna says, returning to her normal voice. “We could not be happier. Is that not clear?
Twilight wilts a little. “Well, you kinda sound like you're yelling at me.”
“But this is the traditional royal Canterlot voice!” Luna states matter-of-factly. “It is tradition to speak using the royal "we", and to use THIS MUCH VOLUME WHEN ADDRESSING OUR SUBJECTS!”
After that bout of force, Twilight readjusts her beard and hat. “You know, that might explain why your appearance was met with... mixed results. I think if you just changed your approach a bit, you might be met with a warmer reception.”
“CHANGE OUR APPROACH?”
Twilight points a hoof down. “Lower the volume?”
Luna blinks. “Ohhh. We have been locked away for a thousand years. We are... not sure we can.”
I come out from behind Twilight, smiling. “Don’t worry, Luna. We’ll help you.”
There’s a pause as Luna looks at me with confusion, blinking, before raising an eyebrow. “How is this filly dressed us we once were? We do not understand?”
I smirk, changing back to normal.
She jumps, taking a step back. “What is the meaning of this?”
Twilight sighs. “Princess Luna, meet Screwball, the only pony Discord did anything good for during his escape, unintentionally as it was.”
The Alicorn looks from Twilight to myself, then back to Twilight, before returning to me. “How dist though change thoust appearance? Thou art an Alicorn for true?”
I shake my head. “Discord gave me some Chaos Magic.”
At once she leaps into a defensive stance. “Chaos Magic? Thou art a servant of that monster?”
I roll my eyes. “If I were, do you really think you’d be speaking with me right now?”
Luna frowns, glancing to Twilight, who shrugs. “It’s true, Princess. Screwball may have powers the same as Discord, but she’s nothing like him.”
She looks suspiciously from Twilight to me, before giving a small nod. “We shalt give thee a chance. However, be warned, if ye break said chance, we shall not be so lenient.”
I nod, changing back to her Woona form.
She looks at me for a few moments, before blinking. “You... you would dress as we?”
I smile, nodding.
She blinks, before a small smile forms on her lips.
___________________________________________________________
Sadly, things go pretty much as I expected. Despite our getting Luna to loosen up and then the town seeming to warm up to her, Luna puts a bit too much force into her words when saying Pip was wrong about her gobbling his hind quarters, causing the ponies in town to start becoming scared of her again.
And, it only gets worse when, like in the show, she turns the toy spiders into real ones.
I move to save one mare, whose name I’ve yet to catch, dressed as a bumble bee that the spiders go after.
I quickly teleport them away from her, dropping them into the water for the Bobbing for Apples basket.
Carrot Top screams as she tries getting a spider off her head, running off, which makes everypony else start running around screaming.
With all her running, it’s hard to get to Carrot and turn the spider back to normal. Though, as soon as I do, we’re both having to avoid a rolling pink and white... something roll.
“BE STILL!” Luna booms, lightning and thunder going off, her voice echoing in the night air, causing even me to flinch.
I sigh as Luna makes the announcement of how this will be the last Nightmare Night, before leaving.
After handling a bit of damage control, I follow after Twilight, who’s speaking with Luna on the bridge leading out of Ponyville.
“Leave me be, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna is saying as I come over.
“Princess, I'm sorry it hasn't worked out how we wanted,” she then smiles. “But you have to believe me when I tell you that Nightmare Night is one of the most popular celebrations we have.
“Yes. I can tell. By all the adoring shrieks of the children as they run away.” Did they have sarcasm a thousand years ago? If not, Luna’s picking up on it, fast.
“Princess...” Twilight murmurs as Luna moves to leave.
I frown, looking down, before turning to Twilight. “I’ve an idea. You bring Luna back into town whilst I set things up. If we can get Pinkie to understand, we can get everypony to understand.” Even though I know Pinkie’s just having fun.
___________________________________________________________
Pinkie hurries into the alley, following the candy trail I left for her to follow.
The moment she’s close enough, Twilight rushes forward and pressing Pinkie against the wall, her hoof over the pink mare’s mouth. “No! No shrieking. No screaming or squealing either. Okay?”
Pinkie Pie give a muffled, “Okay,” through Twilight’s hoof, though the way her eyes go big almost make me hug her.
Twilight nods. “There's something I want you to see. And I promise that it's safe, but you really, really, really can't shriek. Do you promise not to shriek?”
Pinkie nods, saying, “Mm-hmm.”
Twilight steps back and Luna and I come into view, Pinkie’s eyes falling on Luna.
She begins making a squawking sound, but I quickly use my magic to move her hooves over her mouth, stopping the shriek.
Twilight indicates to the real Alicorn. “Pinkie Pie, you remember Princess Luna, right?”
Luna steps forward. “Ah. The ringleader of the frightened children. Hast thou come to make peace?”
Luna holds out her hoof, which Pinkie starts leaning towards to take, before a flash of lightning and thunder I briefly forgot about go off and she shrieks, “Nightmare Moon!” before giving a chicken squawk and running off, though I pause when I see she’s somehow... laid an egg?
Never mind. Problem for another time.
“Rainbow!” Twilight and I shout angrily, glaring up at the laughing mare.
Mental note: Rainbow is owed one prank.
___________________________________________________________
Thankfully, just like in episode, we’re able to help Luna learn that everypony loves Nightmare Night and that it’s sometimes fun to be scared.
I hang around with Luna as she enjoys the games with eveyrpony, before I look up at the sky.
I nudge Luna, who looks down at me and I motion for her to lean in. She does and I whisper about getting even with Rainbow for her prank, to which she gives a small smirk.
I teleport us above the clearly, remaining invisible so she doesn’t see us as she creeps on Twilight. The moment she’s about to scare Twilight and Spike, we both make lightning and thunder come from the cloud we’re sitting on, scaring her and causing her to fly off.
We lower down and Luna winks at Twilight.
We share a laugh and I look up at the sky, smiling.
I return home several hours later to find Randolph dressed as a chained ghost and smirk, to which he smirks back.
“And what do you call this?” an arrogant voice says, making me roll my eyes. “Do you realize how late it is?”
“You do realize it’s Nightmare Night, don’t you?” I look over my shoulder at Spoiled who, big surprise since she hates fun, isn’t wearing a costume.
“Tiara was back hours ago,” she says, in a tone that tells me she’s saying I should be like Tiara. “Now, give any candy you acquired so I can dispose of it.”
I roll my eyes. I am not letting Spoiled spoil my good mood. “Whatever and no. You wanna take my candy away, you’ll have to find it. G’night, Randolph. Tell Daddy I said goodnight, kay?”
He nods and I teleport back to my room, return to normal, before flopping on the bed and going to sleep.
All things considered, this was a pretty good first Nightmare Night. Looking forward to next year. Might try something scarier to dress as.
I dunno about this chapter. At first, i thought it would be good, but now?
Is this okay or does it suck? If the latter, be honest with me.
But, i wanted to do this chapter and... now i'm not so sure it was a good idea.
If enough of you say it isn't really that good, i'll just replace it with the next chapter i have in mind, with a mention about Nightmare Night being previous.
Well, i'm gonna wrap up here. Feeling tired and depressed at how i don't think this chapter came out well.
Let me know in the comments how much it sucks, kay?
Tile next time, later everypony
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I thought it was a pretty good chapter. Yeah it followed the plot of the episode and yeah I think it could have been better but then again a lot other chapters of other stories could almost always be improved upon so that's that. It was fun and cute and don't get so down about it but you are the author so i guess it's like a matter a principle or something like that. But I liked this chapter.
I'll read ya later-BFBL
Sorry author but I kinda agree with you. This chapter felt...lacking. Like there was no spark or anything. I don't know, I think I was expecting a bit more comedy to it. Sorry.
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The chapter was good. And yeah I did expect more but it was nice to read and a new chapter. Though can't wait for what's in store in the next chapter
I personally enjoyed the chapter
I kinda liked it myself. Ok yes, needs a good editing run, but, still its a fun romp around nightmare night. I liked how you fit the episode in with what you did, even the 'accsidental' bits of it.
Another awesome chapter. I'm curious will we see the povs of others characters more often as the story goes on?
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If you don't like, like it, there's no reason Screwball can't have nightmare night every night. Is it not possible to set up a stable time loop and be in multiple locations at once? She's already established being capable of superposition.
Not a bad chapter, but not as good as many if the previous ones.
Am I the only person who recognised that Pinkie laid an egg the EXACT same pattern Spike's was in the ep where the CMC went around asking?
New shipping?
Her naivete is soooo cute!
Do you mean Spike?
What exactly happened here? Did Twilight sit on Spike? What was that flash of light? How did Twilight gain the comprehension?
Where? I don't understand the sentence here with this word.
I don't know if it was like that in the episode, but if Pip runs off, how can he back into Pinkie?
Pink and white something? What is the something?
It's not a bad chapter. The others were better in my opinion, since they didn't lean on an episode like this one did, but it is still a good one and I liked it. It is quite difficult to make a chapter like this work in my opinion without it being boring, and you did make it work for the most part. Only middle to end when it came to Luna loosen up it was a little boring. However I liked the short ending with Randolph!
Also love your update rate! You rock Autumn. Woohoo!
...I think your problem is that you're refusing to deviate from 'canon' at all. Which is entirely unrealistic, given that you have a brand new character interacting with the mane six and others; there are going to be ripples, no matter how careful Screwball is. She can't play in the between, she's too close to the plot. Let her change something. Anything. This is your story, you're the one that decides what the clock roaches can and can't do.
I'm not just saying this since she's a creature of chaos. It's actually expected no matter what character you'd put in this role.
I'm sorry but I have to disagree with you. I really liked that chapter. Please keep it.
6852507
Well I try and give it another go.
They both like the secret butt fun ?
Basically, she doesn't want her little filly being sick from eating to much candy or tired from lack of sleep. That's actually good parenting.
Your biggest mistake is wanting to stick with the canon. There is no point in using actual episode if Screwball can't do anything.
6855741
I don't think that this is the reason for her behaviour. She is only worried about her reputation, and she probably thinks that Screwball might harm it, if she parties all night long and eats overly much sweets.
On a side note, I don't think she can get sick or tired. I mean, she is a being of chaos! Uh...on the other hand I just now remember that Discord got sick once, so maybe there is a possibility, but I doubt getting sick by candy is one, since Discord is into sweets, as well as Pinkie, and neither of them got sick from candy until now.
it was ok
Am I the only one who thinks that Spoiled Rich/Witch/Bitch will try to murder Screwball in her sleep?
6914192 no
You shouldn't bother just retelling the episodes. Have something DIFFERENT happen. There's no point in having an HiE if they're not there to CHANGE anything.
So basically Screwball can see & speak with 3 other versions of herself.
I get the EQG Screwball being the Fur-Colored-Human Form Screwball took while in the EQG World.
But is the "Human" version supposed to be what the Guy controlling Screwball's body used to look like before getting sent to Equestria?
Also by "Anthro" do you mean as in just a Human Body with a Pony's Head? or a creature with the Torso & Arms with Hands of a Human, but also the Head, Tail & Hind-Legs with Hooves of a Pony? Because then that would be a creature that resembles the Philippines' Mythological creature known as the Tikbalang, an Anthropomorphic Horse-like creature that is pretty much the Equine version of a Minotaur.
Nice chapter, good work.
No matter how many times I see it, hearing Zecora telling the tale of Nightmare Moon never gets old.
I agree that you can bring some more variety into chapters that deal with episodes by interfeering them with Screwball.
It's better to really get mixed up in those stories, then just letting them roll out like they usally do, with only a comment or insignificant action thrown in by a new character in the event, which only makes them look like a third wheel and trivial.
Of course, there are exceptions for certain events, as Starlight has demonstrated, that definitly must take place with minimal interference, such as their aquired cutie marks by the Sonic Rainboom for example, or them zapping Luna good.
To be honest, she could have dressed up as Cadance and as a result made Twilight contact her future sister in law, getting in touch again with her and even learning about the wedding.
I don't believe it would have made much of a difference. In fact, if we presume Cadance, and I'm prone to think that, was exchanged with Chrysalis only days or a week before the wedding, Twilight would have had a better chance to convince the others of the Cadance during the wedding to be an imposter, as well as seeing through Chrysalis's disguise faster and more easily.
Simply by the fact that she would have had contacted her, spoken to her or maybe even introduced her to her friends, not long before Chrysalis kidnapped Mi Amore, showing them all how the real Cadance behaved.
Wait, Starswirl the Bearded is a MARE !?
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PLOT TWIST! Starswirl is a mare!!!
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7089602 actually, it was Twilight saying she's glad Screwball knows her historical figures. I thought that was pretty clear?
7089649 It is. Saw nothing wrong with that sentence myself.
Nice chapter, though I'm not a fan of when new characters enter a scene of the show and it goes almost exactly like the show word-for-word. Its one of those universal things in fimfiction though, so I can't blame you. Its easier to add onto an already existing plot instead of starting from scratch.
Nice, I would change the bit about the revenge prank. It isn't the best.
"All these words, words like 'evil' and 'vicious', they meant nothing to nature. Yes, evil was a human invention."
--Wolf Lord Eric Longtooth
By this point chapters seem to have more order in the exposition and less typos, well done
Still readint it
This was a really great chapter
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Exactly. At this point, canon shouldn't exist anymore. At the very least, none of the dialogue should be identical.
this isn't a bad chapter but I feel it could have been better. *shrug* its only one of many. I've made it this far. ;p
Pink do?
Levitates what?
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did you also think of Charlie and the chocolate factory when you read that
This chapter was awesome! 100% honesty, no sarcasm. it was a good turn on things from the original ep.
While it wasn’t too creative, it was a good chapter
There’s something wrong with this sentence.
Where’s spike should “back” be spike?
Maybe I’m wrong maybe it’s supposed to be like that who knows
The real mvp of this whole story so far is Randolph
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