Edit 14/3/2019: Had to remove the Drama tag because I wasn't allowed to save edits to the description due to too many tags due to the new rules.
I was enjoying a quiet day at work, when I suddenly find myself in what I can only describe as what a person high on drugs would see, before a blinding rainbow light slams into me and knocks me unconscious.
Upon awakening, I find something very off, not only about my surroundings, but myself. For one, I seem to have become a small horse and a female one at that.
I also seem to be in a forest of some kind. Hang on. Is this the Everfree?
Oh, great. What do i do now?
Well, having powers on par with a Chaos Lord certainly might come in handy. Let's see what i can do with them, shall we?
Sex tag for sexual references and teen for teen reasons, plus a lot crass swearing.
And, just be warned, that random tag is serious. Random shit will happen in this fic, so be wary of that when entering and DO NOT expect anything to just be normal at any point.
In Popular Stories 31/12/2015. What a way to end the year!
Featured 24/7/2016. Okay. Honest to God did not see that coming.
Featured again 31/7/2016. Wait. What?
Featured 5/8/2016. Someone's pulling my leg here, right?
Featured again 26/8/2016. No. Wait. WHAT?
Despite everything, got Featured 16/2/2017. Just hope the next update does this justice
In Featured 2/07/2017. Um... How? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad, but... how?!
I sigh, slumping forward on the table as the sounds of the factory continue around me.
Today has been kinda boring work wise. I, along with a lot of other co-workers, had one job earlier today, but that was finished an hour before lunch break and we haven't been given anything else to do after that. For all the time since then, we’ve been doing nothing, which just means the day is moving slower us I’m doing nothing and can’t think of anything to distract myself until the next job comes in.
Like a dumbass, I didn’t even bring my Past Sins book, because I didn’t think I’d get time to read it today. Shows how much I know.
If I at least had it with me I could read it and pass this time of nothing, so the day could be over and I can get to my days off! With December only five days away, I’m really looking forward to summer finally starting up.
Plus, this weekend is episode twenty-four of mlp season five. I’ve been curious about it, since it will be right before the finale and am wondering what, if anything, it might connect to the finale.
I sigh, leaning my head on my upturned palm. Man, I’d give anything for something to happen.
Ba-bump!
I blink, before shuddering.
I sit up, looking around in confusion. What the heck was that feeling? It was.... unease? Why?
I look around, frowning, before I wince, feeling a pain through my head.
Suddenly the world feels like it whirls around, before I see mountains that are checked, pink clouds and flying pigs.
I can only guess this is what a person high on drugs would feel like, but I know I wasn’t on drugs before whatever the hell happened happened.
Before I can really wrap my head around this WTF moment I’m going through, a bright light explodes forward, blinding me, before I feel something slam into me and I black out.
I groan as conciseness returns. I can feel I’m lying on soft grass.
I shift, trying to sit up, but find I can’t like a human should be able to, so I just sit like a dog, rubbing my forehead.
What the heck just happened? One second I’m a work, bored out of my mind and the next I’m in what looks like what a person on an acid trip would be seeing and something slams into my chest and I wake up lying on grass?
I shake my head, before frowning as my hair flicks me in the face a bit. When did my hair get so long? It was just cut last weekend. How could it be so long that it flicks me in the face when I shake my head now?
I open my eyes and turn my head. I’m in a small clearing, surrounded by trees.
I cock an eyebrow. Through my groggy state, I can tell my brain is trying to tell me something’s up... but I’m too out of it right now to figure out what.
Jeez, is this what it feels like to wake up with a hangover? I’ve never gotten drunk, so I’ve no clue. If this is how it feels though, I might just stay away from alcohol in the future, and I’ve not really gone near it in over three years.
“Ow...” I mumble, lowering my head. “Could this pain in my head puh-lease just go away?!”
I blink as, suddenly, it’s gone.
“Wow,” I shake my head. “All I had to do was ask? If I’d know... that... sooner...” I frown. “What the heck’s up with my voice?”
I sound... like a girl. Huh?
As I try to figure this out, I realize something else. I can’t feel my fingers.
Quickly looking down, my eyes widen at what I see. Pink fur-covered hooves.
Okay. That is a worrying sign, considering the amount of MLP fanfics I’ve read, or good, depending on your feelings at the time. Right now, I’m panicking.
I look around and realize, just looking at the trees around me, I’m in the Everfree Forest.
Aw, crap. Okay. No big deal. As long as you’re either a Pegasus, unicorn or Alicorn, you’ll be fine...
My gut drops and my rage flares as I realize I feel no wings or horn on connected to my body. Also, looking down, I can see no sign of manhood.
“Oh, well, this is just brilliant!” I growl sarcastically, glaring up at the sky. “So, I wind up in Equestria, as a pony and I end up an Earth Pony?! Come on!” Looking down at my new coat, my scowl deepens. “And, judging by the fur colour and what I can see of my hair, I’m Diamond Tiara... expect, this isn’t Diamond Tiara’s voice.”
But, if I’ve turned into a pink Earth Pony filly with a purple and white mane and I’m not the always-thought-to-be-a-bitch-but-it-turned-out-she-only-acted-that-way-because-of-her-mother filly, then who am I?
I know I recognize the voice for some reason, but I can’t peg who I’ve turned into.
Before I can really think very far about it though, a horrible odor reaches my now far more sensitive nose and I clamp my hooves over it, grimacing.
Ugh. It smells like somebody left a corpse out in the sun for ages and ages and ages and then covered it in vinegar and set it on fire. Bleah!
And don’t ask me how the hell I know what that smells like, because even I don’t know how I know and it’s probably better I never ask.
As the smell gets stronger I open my eyes and they widen to see a Timber Wolf starting to slink out from the treeline, with another two right behind it.
Now, you would think, any sane-minded person, pony, whatever, would be terrified by this.
But, no. For whatever reason, despite my brain yelling I should be scared and start running for my life, I just get up on all four hooves and glare at the Timber Wolves.
“You wanna mess with me?!” I growl, my teeth pulled back into a snarl.
For a moment, this seems to confuse the living pieces of a wood with teeth, because they pause and glance at each other, before continuing to move closer, the other two moving around so that they’re circling me.
“Oh, you really chose a bad time to mess with this pony!” I snap, turning my head as I try and keep an eye on all three of them. “I’ve found myself in Equestria, which is something I really am glad about, I’m a pony, worrisome in some ways, but not in others, but I’m an EARTH PONY! I’ve no magic or anything like that and it’s really put me in a shit mood! So, you wanna come after me, fine! Bring it on you oversized wooden Chihuahuas!”
Suddenly, as all three leap at me, there’s a flash of yellow light. When it fades, I here three small yips accompany three thuds.
Glancing around, my eyes widen and an eyebrow raises in confusion. All three Timber Wolves have... shrunk to the size... of Chihuahuas?
They each look up at me, before glancing down at themselves, before scampering off, whimpering.
I just stand there, blinking as I try to understand just what the hell happened.
“Um... I call them Chihuahuas and they... shrink to the size of Chihuahuas?”
Huh. Why does that sound familiar?
“What is this I do see? A young filly wandering around alone in the Everfree?”
I turn at the sound of that voice and rhyme to see a grey and black striped equine with a Mohawk-like mane style.
I grin. “Zecora? Oh, phew. Well, at least somepony can get me out of here.”
The zebra walks over to me, an eyebrow raised in a curious expression. “Who are you, little one? Did you get lost whilst having fun?”
I frown. Come to think of it, just which pony have I turned into exactly? I’m not Diamond Tiara, despite having the same coat and mane colours. So, who could I be?
Glancing at my flank, hoping whomever I’ve turned into a least has their Cutie Mark to give me an idea of what to say next, my frown deepens a little.
A baseball and a screw?
I look up, cocking my head. Okay, I only know two ponies with screws in their Cuite Marks and one is Screwloose and, since my fur is not blue and Zecora seems a lot taller than me, I’m not her.
That leaves only one other option.
I blink as I just realize what I’ve figured out, before the largest grin spreads across my face.
“WA-HOO!” I shout, floating into the air and doing somersaults. “I’m Screwball?! Oh, yeah! Of all the Earth Ponies to turn into, she is definitely the one! Oh, yeah. Uh-huh! Go Screwball. Go Screwball. It’s yer birthday. It’s yer birthday!”
Whilst I’m doing my little moonwalk on air, Zecora just stares up at me with her mouth open. “How... how are you floating in the air, when wings like the pegasi you do not have a pair?”
I stop my little dance of joy over turning into probably the most fun pony I could’ve become and float down, hovering in front of the zebra.
I like her rhymes and all, but they’ll get old really fast if I hear her speak in nothing but them.
Hmm. I am Screwball and I have her powers, as clearly displayed by my airborne moonwalk, so, maybe I can work with that.
Okay. New rule. Regardless of what everypony else hears, I won’t always hear Zecora speak in rhyme.
“Is there a reason you keep looking at me like that?” said zebra asks, looking at me warily.
I smile and drop down onto my hooves again. “Nah. I’m good.” I blink. “Oh! That’s why my voice sounded familiar. I sound like the voice that girl... um... what was her name? Hmm. Hold on.”
I glance up at the sky as the search bar for google appears before my eyelids and I do a quick search.
“Ah. Right,” I say as the bar vanishes and my eyesight returns to normal, “the reason I recognized my voice is because it’s the Screwball voice Katie Patterson uses for her in Daughter of Discord. Makes sense, I guess. She’s the only real voice ever given to her, so the universe defaulted to her.”
“Um, okay?” Zecora says uncertainly. “Um... where are your family, little one? Would you like me to return you to them?”
Hmm. That... sorta sounded like a rhyme, but whatever.
However, as Zecora’s words process through my mind, a weight grips me. I’m in Equestria. Unless I find a way to return home I’ll never see my family again— wait a minute.
I facehoof. Hello. I’m Screwball. I have Chaos powers. I can just hope through the dimensional void and see them right now.
BAAAAAA!
I jump, shaking my head.
What the heck was that? The moment I tried crossing into my own world a loud sound, like the buzzer on a game show when you get a wrong answer blared in my ears.
I frown and try again.
BAAAAAA!
BAAAAAA!
BAAAAAA!
BAAAAAA!
BAAAAAA!
BAAAAAA!
Oh, come on! I mentally yell after seven whole tries. I’m Screwball, Princess of Chaos and I can’t even hop into another dimension? Let me guess, if I tried with that human version from Equestria Girls the same would happen, right?
No sooner have I thought this than the world around me spins and I find myself inside a small park.
Blinking, I look around and see humans with oddly coloured skin walking around.
I blanch, my body trying to register the return to a human body, but being overloaded. Okay. So, that did work. Now, can I get back to Equestria before something else happens?
Again, as soon as I’ve thought it, I’m back in the Everfree, with a very confused looking Zecora standing there, looking at me with wide eyes.
I pay her no mind, though, as I slump on the ground, the realization hitting me like a tons of bricks.
Something is stopping me from returning home. I can hop through dimensions fine, it would seem, but I can’t go home.
Mum... Dad... my siblings and— NO!
I stand up, glaring up at the sky. If I’m stuck as Screwball, a pony who can mess around with reality just like Discord, I am not having that fun tainted by my feelings of sorrow at losing contact with my human family.
Focusing, use my new magic to blot out the main part of my memories of my family, namely, what they looked like, their names and my feelings for them. I still cared about them, but now I wouldn’t feel any sadness over never seeing them again. Yeah, it sounds coldhearted, but I'm sure they'd understand. They wouldn't want me wallowing in grief when I can be having fun.
After several moments of clearly my mind, I sigh and smile, turning to the zebra.
“So, we going to your place or was your plan just to hang around here and see if any more Timber Wolves come by wanting to become as big as a Chihuahua?”
Zecora keeps giving me an odd look as we just stand in the clearing.
I frown, rolling my eyes. “Okay, seriously, Zecora. Can we move it? I may have Chaos magic but I don’t wanna be out... here... after... dark...”
I facehoof. Oh, great. I’m Screwball. I only now just realize that means Discord is my dad. Great. Just great.
I sigh. Well, maybe if I find who he fucked to make me I can...
I shake my head.
Nope. Not even gonna question the logic of how he could knock up a mare, cause her go through eleven months of pregnancy, give birth and the foal grow to a young filly’s age within a matter of hours. We’re talking a being of chaos, here. Trying to work logic into this in any sense of the word will only result in a headache.
With it obvious Zecora isn’t going to simply take me to her hut I prepare a teleport, not questioning how I know how this shit works, since I’m Screwball and relying on Chaos Magic here.
“So, let’s go to your hut.” Zecora blinks and I use her train of thought, which, thanks to my talking about it, leads me straight to her house.
The world warps around us and we’re standing in the middle of her hut, right next to her cauldron, which is empty for the first time since I first saw her in season one.
She staggers, then looks around. “But... how did you know where to find my home? I never told you where I rest when in the forest I do not roam.”
I shrug. “Zecora, you’re dealing with a pony with Chaos Powers. Do you really wanna try explaining it all? Here’s an example: Would you wanna try figuring out Pinkie Pie?”
She visibly blanches. “I... think I’ll pass. Why did you bring us here, if I may ask?”
Again, not quite a rhyme, but I’ll let it slide.
“I need help figuring something out,” I say, my eyes scanning her cupboards. “I need to know who my pony mother is.”
She blinks, before frowning. “Your mother?”
I nod, before sighing. “I don’t wanna admit it, but there’s a strong chance Discord’s my biological dad now. So, I wanna know which mare he knocked up to have me. if I gotta live with somepony, it may as well be whomever shares my DNA.”
She stares at me for several moments, before her expression becomes that of the calm Zecora I know from the show.
“I think I have just the thing.” She walks over to a small cupboard and opens it.
I float into the air using my magic and look over her shoulder. Inside are two bottles. One I recognize as the potion she gives Twilight at the beginning of season four, but the other bottle’s reasoning eludes me.
It has a dragonish head design. Other than that, it looks just like the one Twilight is given. The liquid inside is blue.
Zecora turns around and doesn’t even flinch when she sees how close I am, holding out the bottle to me.
“I dare not use it myself, for the results would be tragic. It only responds to Chaos Magic.”
I frown. Seriously? She seriously just has this potion that needs Chaos Magic to work?
“You can turn this potion from blue to brown. Take a sip, and you will learn whom you were born from in this town.”
I look up, shaking my head. Well, it would have to be rhymed in some way, wouldn’t it?
I focus on the potion and see a small bit of a yellow glow move from my body into the potion, which fizzes, before turning brown.
Lifting it up with my magic I glance at the zebra, who nods.
Shrugging, I take a sip, before everything turns white.
When my eyesight returns, I look around. I’m in a hospital room.
“Congratulations,” I turn to see a slightly younger-looking Doctor Stable than I’ve seen in the show. “You’ve two twin fillies.”
Looking to where his looking... my expression deadpans. “Really? She’s my mother? Is this some kind of twisted joke that I know even Discord wouldn’t find funny, even before his reforming?!”
Laying in a bed just across from me is a pony with a pink coat and a mane a darker purple than my own. The surgically upturned nose makes it very easy to identify Spoiled Rich and she’s sleeping. Typical, her daughter is born as she sleeps through the happy moments of mother and daughter's first time together. Would explain why she treated Diamond like a project instead of her own flesh and blood in the show.
I sigh. Well, I guess it makes sense. Diamond and Screwball do share a colour palate and it’s not like the two would be the first twins the show ever had...
Wait a minute. Twins?
I look around and see a window.
Floating over I look outside. Everything looks normal.
I lean back, scratching my head. “Um, am I missing something here?”
The room warps and I suddenly find myself standing in what I can tell is the emergency ward for newborns. Ya see it enough on TV and you know the place.
I scowl as I see Spoiled Rich standing in front of a tub containing a foal that looks like either Diamond Tiara or myself, I can’t tell which.
“Will she ever wake?” Spoiled asks, her tone not sounding concerned, just bored.
“Um, well, Mrs Rich,” I turn at the sound of Doctor Stable voice to see him standing next to her, “your second daughter, Lilac... she... she won’t ever wake up.”
My eyes widen at that news, but Spoiled just looks disinterested. “You mean... she’s a still-birth?”
The stallion sighs, taking off his glasses and looking down. “Not quite. She’s alive, but...” he sighs again. “She will never wake up, Mrs Rich. She will always be asleep. She has Unresponsive Wakefulness Syndrome.”
Spoiled looks into the tub where the foal sleeps soundly, not looking any different than any other foal.
“Don’t tell my husband about this,” she says after some time. I frown at her tone. Again, it’s not one of concern, it’s one of annoyance. "Keep her alive if you must, my husband is so soft he’d probably become a ball of mush if she died. He’d be useless to me after that.”
“M-Mrs Rich?” Doctor Stable asks, his eyes widening a bit.
Spoiled turns, looking at him over her shoulder. “And keep this to yourself. If word ever got out that I gave birth to a foal that isn’t even able to wake on its own, I’d be a laughingstock.” She smirks as she walks away. “At least her older sister can be of use.”
I glare at Spoiled as she moves along down out the ward.
That... that bitch! She gets told one of her children will never wake up and she just brushes it off and tells the doctor never to mention it, to save her reputation?
As I glare after the stuck-up mare my eyes are blinded by a white light.
When I can see again, I’m back in Zecora’s home, though the wood beneath my hooves looks burnt.
“Did you see your family?” the zebra asks, though I can hear a hint of annoyance in her voice, most likely due to the burn marks I’d caused.
I frown, nodding. “But, still I don’t understand why I have Chaos Magic. Apparently, Discord isn’t my dad, Filthy Rich is and his stuck-up, full of herself wife is my mother... but I don’t know why I’m the way I am now.”
“Perhaps less far back, maybe today, holds the answers that you seek,” she says, holding the potion out to me. “Another sip of the potion will give you a peak.”
Shrugging, I take the potion in my magic and take another gulp.
When my eyesight returns, I find I’m standing in a padded room. Looking around, I see only one other pony... and shiver at the sight of her.
It’s me... well, Screwball. No, Doctor Stable said my name is Lilac?
Whatever. Anyway, she’s just sitting against one of the padded walls, her eyes blank and vacant, a bit of drool dribbling down from her lips and down her chin.
I shudder again. This is what I was like before? What happened to make this Lilac the Screwball I saw back in part two of the season 2 premiere?
“Oh-ho-ho. This will work.” The voice is followed by a being comprised of a mishmash of creatures, causing me to frown. Discord. Just what is he doing in here?
As I watch, he levitates the unresponsive Lilac into the air and looks into her eyes.
“Hmm, you are quite the depressing sight, little pony,” he says, before a grin spreads across his lips. “How about we change that? I have always wanted a daughter to help me rule my realm of chaos.”
He clicks his talon as, as I watch, Lilac’s eyes change from blank into purple spirals and her Cutie Mark of a baseball and a screw appear on her flank. She blinks a few times, before laughing and start moving her hoof over her lips like I saw her doing when she flew passed the screen in the premiere.
Discord chortles. “Ah-ha-ha-ha! Welcome to the world, my little... Hmm. What’s your name?” He clicks his talon and a clipboard appears before him. He frowns as he looks down. “Lilac? Oh, no, no, no. That will never do.” He scratches his chin for a few moments, before glancing at her Cutie mark. A light bulb appears above his head, which lights up a second later. “I know. I’ll call you Screwball! What do you think, my little Screwy?”
The filly just continues to do what she was doing with her lips before.
Discord seems to take that as a “yes” because he folds his arms, nodding. “True, true. Warping those five was quite the amusing show. Now, have fun, my little Screwball,” he clicks his talons and she vanishes. “I’ve more chaos to sow.”
The room warps and I see I’m standing in Ponyville after Discord has warped it to his own image.
Looking around, I see him taunting the Element Bearers right before they blast him back into stone.
Smirking, I look around, only to see the past Screwball hovering in the air, looking in the direction of Discord and the Mane Six, a confused expression on her face.
Not too long after, Discord is turned back into stone and the Elements send a wave of rainbow light flying in mine and the past Screwball’s direction.
I turn my head as she gets slammed by the wave of the Elements’ power and is hurtled into the Everfree, myself following her due to her clearly being the point of this past vision.
She lands on the ground in the clearing I woke up in, remaining motionless. As I watch, I notice tendrils of yellowish-orange magic seeping into her. Looking around, I see it’s all the Chaos Magic the Elements forced away.
Is it all going into her, um, me, due to her, me being the only Chaos Being around at the time?
After a while, the magic ends, all having seeped into the unconscious filly.
I blink a few times and see Zecora looking at me expectantly.
I sigh, looking away. “Well, Discord didn’t take part in the whole me being born,” I begin, not meeting her gaze, “but it seems he is the reason I have Chaos Magic.”
She nods, before indicating to go on.
I sigh. “And... I now know my pony birth family.” I grunt. “The Richs.” This is going to be interesting.
I blink, before a sneaky smile forms on my lips. Oh, this is going to be very interesting. And fun, too. For me.
Family Reunion. Fun Times... well, for me, Anyway.
Filthy Rich and his family were sitting in the living room, admiring the room, thankful that disaster with Discord hadn’t ruined anything.
Diamond seemed as relieved as himself, though his wife seemed both bored and annoyed.
Probably because Discord’s chaotic attack ruined her daily schedule, he thought to himself, giving an inward sigh. I’m going to be hearing about this for a week if I’m lucky.
The doorbell rang and Randolph came in a few moments later. “Miss Zecora to see you, Mr. Rich.”
All three ponies turned to the old stallion, eyebrows raised in confusion.
Rich got up and went out to the front door to indeed find the zebra waiting for him.
“Mr. Rich, it is good to see you well. I hope things are fine after Discord’s brief chaotic spell?”
He nodded slowly, before glancing around outside. “Um, not that I want to appear rude, Miss Zecora, but, why exactly have you come to visit, especially after everything else that’s happened today.”
She nodded, closing her eyes briefly, before opening them again and looking at him. “Whilst travelling through the Everfree, I stumbled upon a young filly. After she and I had a small talk, sometimes with little mirth, she told me you were one of the ponies responsible for her birth.”
Rich just stared blankly. It took him a few seconds to work out the zebra mare’s rhyme, but, when he did, he was just met with confusion.
“Um... I’m afraid I don’t quite follow, Miss Zecora.”
“Told you he wouldn’t get it in one go.”
The sudden additional voice from behind caused the stallion to jump, before glancing behind him, only for his eyes to widen.
Behind him was a small Earth Pony filly with Diamond Tiara’s colours, but with several key differences. One, her eyes were like purple spirals and her Cutie Mark was a screw and a baseball. However, the oddest thing was that she was floating in the air, leaning back with her forehooves behind her head.
He just blinked up at her, his mouth hanging open.
“Um... but... what? How...?”
The filly chuckles, before there’s a flash and all three were suddenly in the living room, with a very shocked and confused Diamond Tiara and Spoiled Rich staring at the floating filly.
“It’s like this, daddiekins,” the filly says, music starting up in the background.
It's a screwed-up life, for me
It's a screwed-up life for me!!
Steada treated, I got tricked
Steada kisses, I get nicked
It's a screwed-up life!!
I was just minding my own business, you see, got warped into the body this little pony. How? God only knows
Now this is my body – so let’s see how it goes
Used to be a twenty-four-year-old male sod. Now I’m a maybe nine-year-old filly. Isn’t that a bit odd?
Was left in that hospital since birth; for one pony here my existence sure gave no mirth?
Who am I? Name’s Screwball now, so listen up. I’m not going to repeat this stuff.
It's a screwed-up life!
Y'all were told that – I wouldn’t wake up, so ya left me in the first act
Like it's all backwards, what's with that?
So I'll make a prophecy; from the dogs, to little old me
Gimme an Escalade, a 2-way, bling bling on eBay
Domino, girl.
It's a screwed-up life for me
It's a screwed-up life, for me!!
Steada treated, I got tricked
Steada kisses, I got nicked
It's a screwed-up life, for me
It's a screwed-up life for me!!
Steada treated, I got tricked
Steada kisses, I got nicked
It's a screwed-up life!!
I gotta bust a move, droppin bust-a-groove, feelin fine
Got all new chaos powers, thank Discord, cos o' him, now I’m fine
Once I finish my little rap ditty inspired by Annie and Austin Powers Goldmember, using my powers to emphasis certain things like those bling and domino parts of the song, I stop, floating in the air, my forelegs folded over my chest as I wait for a response.
All five of them are staring at me with confusion and open mouths.
I sigh, dropping to the ground all on floors. “What, that wasn’t clear enough?” I ask, looking at each of them, before muttering, “Doesn’t a song usually explain a heap of shit in this world, even when the song doesn’t even mention stuff?”
Before I can really think beyond that, I suddenly find myself being crushed by a pair of forelegs holding me against another furry body.
“Lilac? Oh, my little Lilac, is it really you? You... you’ve woke up? Oh, thank Celestia!”
Filthy’s Rich’s voice in my ears in really loud and filled with more emotion than I’d really have expected from him. I mean, the show never portrayed him as a bad pony, per say, but...
When I feel I’m about to suffocate from the bear-hug being given to me by a pony, I teleport out of his grasp, plopping onto the couch next to the two other ponies, myself being separated from the bitch by the filly who shares my colour scheme.
“But... But how is this possible?!” said filly screams in anger, standing up and thrusting her hoof at me. “You’re telling me that, this whole time, I’ve had a twin sister and you never told me?! Why?!”
I shrink away a bit from how loud screeching. Jeez, Diamond. I’m right next to you. I’d like to keep my eardrums thanks... though I guess I could always make them better again with a little chaos magic.
“It wasn’t important.”
My eyes narrow and I glare at the upturned-nosed mare and her stiff remark. Oh, so one of her daughters wasn’t important? Really feeling the love.
“Wasn’t important?!” Diamond rounds on her mother, which honestly causes me to raise an eyebrow. I thought she didn’t grow that backbone until season five. She points at me. “You think it wasn’t important to tell me I have a freak for a twin sister?!”
My frown returns. Freak? Really, bitch? I know she’s gonna get reformed eventually, but seriously? That’s her concern right now?
“What your mother meant, Diamond, is that we didn’t tell you because we didn’t want you getting upset,” Filthy Rich says in a calming gesture.
I roll my eyes. “Think it’s a bit late for that, daddy.”
“Don’t you call him daddy!” Diamond rounds on me, her face a glare of disgust.
I just give her a sideways look. “He’s mine too, dumbass. Or are you not old enough to know about the birds and the bees?”
She blinks, her face becoming confused annoyance. “What? Bird and bees? What are you babbling about?”
Oh. Right. Around nine. Yeah, she’s probably too young still. But... it does give me a chance for a little superiority inducing fun.
I float up and pat her on the head. “Don’t worry. You’ll learn when you’re older.”
As I expected, Tiara’s face turns red. I can almost see steam coming out her ears.
“I demand you leave at once!” My smile fades and I turn an unamused look to Spoiled Rich as she stands, glaring at me. She points in the direction of the door. “Leave our home at once.”
I smirk, leaning back in the air a bit. “Last I check, kids have to live with their parents and you know I came out of your hole, Spoiled. You told Doctor Stable to keep things quiet about me. Can’t legally kick me out, can you?”
She just stands there, fuming at me.
“Well, she is partially right, Lilac,” Filthy... though I suppose I should start thinking of him as Dad, says, turning to me. “You’ll need to be discharged from the hospital and... Oh, sweet Celestia. Do they even know you’re gone?”
I smirk, laying back in the air. “Taken care of, daddy.” A folder appears before the stallion, causing him to jump. “That’s my file. Paperwork’s already done. And, it’s Screwball, Dad. Not Lilac. Discord got rid of her and I’m what was left when he finished.”
“But... but you’re like Discord!” Diamond shouts, pointing an acussing hoof at me. “You’re just going to cause chaos like he did and try to take over Equestria.”
I snort, waving a hoof. “The old, rule the world gag? Please, Diamond. Give me some credit. Discord’s Discord. I’m going to use my new power however I bloody wish, yeah, but rule the world? Bor-ing. I’d rather just enjoy time here in Ponyville. Beats my old life in terms of excitement, that’s for sure.”
Daddy looks from Spoiled, to Diamond to me, clearly not sure where to go from here.
“Don’t worry,” I say, teleporting onto the chandelier and looking down from it. “I’ll be a good little chaos filly. I won’t cause problems for anypony aside those who deserve it.” I’m looking at you, Spoiled.
“But... where will you sleep?” Daddy asks and I can’t help smirking at the fuming filly and mare he’s ignoring in favour of me.
I shrug. “I’ll fine a room. This place has plenty t’ spare, right? I’ll just pick one. You’ll all know it when you see it. Thanks for everything, Zecora.”
I wave to the zebra and, with that I disappear to get my room sorted.
The Filly Floating on the Clouds without Wings. Wait, WHAT?
Rainbow Dash soared through the sky, smirking as she zipped around clouds, using them as maneuver practice.
With Discord’s defeat the other day, things were returning to normal around Ponyville. She still couldn’t believe he’d turned her against her friends and tricked her into abandoning them.
Thankfully, she’d never have to see that ugly face of his again. He was going to remain in stone this time, no doubt about it and nothing of his chaos was left to worry about.
“Hi, Dash.”
She glanced to her left as she passed a cloud, where a small pink Earth Pony filly was waving to her.
“Hey,” she grinned casually, waving back, then went back to flying— before skidding to a halt in midair and whirling back around.
The filly just kept smiling at her. An Earth Pony filly... on a cloud.
Dash shot back, intent on saving the filly from falling to her death.
The younger pony just giggled and stood up, before hopping off the cloud.
Panic surged through Dash as she saw the filly’s hooves leave the cloud. She had no idea how the filly hadn’t been falling through it, assuming maybe it was like that spell Twilight had used so her friends could come to the Young Flyer’s competition, but if she left the cloud, she’d fall for sure.
She was inches from the filly, before; again, she skidded to a halt, her eyes wide as the filly floated in front of her, smiling with her eyes closed.
“Hey,” she said in a cheery voice.
Dash just stared, her mouth agape. “I... but you’re... and you’re... but, how...? Huh?!”
The filly just giggled. “Race ya. Three, two, one, GO!”
With that the filly shot through the sky, away from the Pegasus.
Now, whilst Dash’s mind was struggling to comprehend what she had just seen, the indication of a race snapped her out of it and she swooped after the filly.
Nopony was going to beat her in a race, not even an Earth Pony that was somehow flying.
She flapped her wings and shot through the air to catch up to the filly.
The two soared through the skies over Ponyville, a few ponies even glancing up in confusion at the pink and white contrail alongside her signature rainbow one.
“It’s disaster, Twilight Sparkle!” Spoiled Rich stated to the unicorn, stomping a hoof. “She’s a beast in pony form waiting to explode!”
Twilight was having Spike take down notes as she listened to the mare with the upturned nose.
She’d come a few hours ago, informing her that Discord had not be defeated completely. Before she and the girls had gotten to him and turned him to stone, he’d created a monster that survived the Elements’ power and had been terrorizing her family.
From what she’d been told, this chaotic beast Discord had create cared nothing for others and did as it wished, much like its creator.
It was a wonder Mrs Rich had even gotten away, considering the nightmarish things she’d describe the beast doing. Twilight was shocked she’d survived the night.
“I fear for my family, Miss Sparkle,” the mare said, sounding frazzled. “Please, you must stop her before she ruins everything!”
Twilight nodded, before looking down to her dragon assistant. “Spike, did you get all that down?”
The little drake nodded, rolling up the scroll. “Should I send this to Princess Celestia now?”
The unicorn nodded. “We can’t waste a second. The sooner we get the Elements of Harmony, the sooner we can stop Discord’s monster from destroying everything we know and love—”
Her words were cut off as a ring of rainbow colour exploded across the sky, followed by a steam of rainbow light soaring down and crashing into the ground several metres away, pushing up dirt for several metres before it stopped, a deep groove left in the ground.
After casting a spell to clear away the dust forced up, Twilight saw a rainbow-maned Pegasus climbing out of the hole at the end of the groove, calling out in triumphed.
“Ha! Beat you!” she called out, looking up at the sky.
“Yeah, but only cos I wanted it to be a fair race.”
The cyan mare looked down as the dust cleared to show a small pink Earth Pony filly with a slightly curly purple and white mane and tail, eyes that had spiral pupils and was wearing a small propeller beanie cap on her head.
“ Yeah, sure ya did, kid,” Rainbow smirked, bopping hooves with the younger pony. “Keep telling yourself that and you’ll be a great flyer one day.”
Twilight cocked an eyebrow. Flyer? But, that filly was an Earth Pony. Why would Dash say—?
“That’s her, Miss Sparkle!” the older Earth Pony’s cry made Twilight glance to see she was pointing her hoof. Following it, she saw it was pointed at the filly. “She’s the monster! Get the foolish mare away before she is killed! Hurry up, you stupid lizard!” she snarled, turning to Spike, who flinched. “Send the letter to the princess before we’re all doomed!”
“Wait,” Twilight held up a hoof, closing her eyes. “Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You were talking about a little filly?”
The other mare’s attention returned to the unicorn, her eyes frantic, but narrowed. “Yes! Why are you stalling?! Send the letter and turn her to stone before we’re doomed!”
“Wait. What?” Dash frowned, looking confused, glancing from Twilight to Spoiled Rich. “What’s this about stone and doom?”
Twilight looked warily at Spoiled Rich, who was glaring at the filly, who just glared right back. “Mrs Rich here came by telling me a being of chaos Discord created before we beat him is roaming about and that we needed to find it and turn it to stone, like we did him.”
Dash’s expression changed to shock, then determined. “Alright. Want me to get the others? What’s this thing look like?”
“I’m standing right here, you know,” an annoyed, slightly bored voice said from Dash’s side. “I can hear what you’re all saying.”
The cyan mare paused, before glancing down at the pink filly, who cocked an eyebrow at her.
There was a pause, before Dash turned to Twilight, an eyebrow raised in disbelief and pointed to the pony next to her. “Her?”
Twilight gave a single nod.
“She was telling you to get the Elements so we could turn this filly to stone?!” Dash’s eyes narrowed, turning to Spoiled as she finished her sentence. “What in Celestia’s name is wrong with you?!”
Spoiled took a step back, looking offended. “Wrong with me? Wrong with me?!” She pointed at Dash. “You’re the one standing next to that beast! Stop her before she gets away!”
“So, I’m a beast because I don’t follow your stupid, I’m in charge of every single thing in your life, even what you should think rules?” the filly was giving Spoiled Rich a deadpan expression. “Really? Really?”
Spoiled looked from the filly, to Rainbow Dash, to Twilight and Spike. “What? She’s evil! Discord created her; that makes her evil!”
“No, Discord just gave me my chaos powers,” the filly states simply, a magical window appear next to her, showing Discord in what looked like a padded cell, holding a similar-looking filly, who slowly changed to match this filly’s appearance. The window faded and she looked coldly at the older Earth Pony. “I’d only be evil if I used them the way he did. You actually made me, Spoiled Bitch.”
With that, the filly turned and walked away, heading towards Sugarcube Corner, but paused for a moment and glanced over her shoulder.
“Oh, and, just for that, your chances or my ever thinking of you as my mother just went up in flames. Good work.”
And she walked off, leaving the four others to what would come next.
For a moment, I ponder why I feel odd, before I remember.
I’m Screwball now, in Equestria.
I sit up, stretching my arm, flexing my fingers, before looking down at the digits with a grin.
Hey, you expect me to just go to sleep as a pony when I’ve been human twenty-four years of my life? Maybe sometimes, but I’m still getting used to everything. It’s odd enough that I went to sleep as a young human girl, let alone a pony.
I crick my neck, before getting out of bad and shaking my head.
Looking around my room... you wouldn’t think it belonged to a Chaos-Empowered pony.
It’s larger than a normal pony’s bedroom would be, but that so I can go human or anthro, or even pony-human if I want to.
Anyway, the room is pretty basic right (at least thinking of Filthy Rich's family) now, a very expensive-looking bed with a plush mattress, a desk with a vanity mirror, some draws and a closet for clothing, nothing really special. I hadn't really wanted to do any redecorating yesterday. Everything was still a bit too overwhelming, so, aside from changing the size and height of the room, I haven't done much with it yet.
I’m honestly looking forward to my first real day in Equestria. I’m not real counting yesterday, since it was a bit of a hubbub.
A firm knock on the door causes me to be pulled from my train of thought and I wave goodbye to the thought passengers on there as I go.
I frown, walking over and pulling the door open.
The mare I’d rather shove burning hot forks into my eyes than see is standing on the other side, her surgically upturned nose making me wanna give her an uppercut to it.
Her eyes widen as she stares up at me with fear. “Wh-wha...?” she asks, her mouth hanging open.
I can’t help but smirk. “Oh, right. You wouldn’t know a human if they stood in front of you nude.” Which I am, by the way. Didn’t see a reason to give myself clothes too, not with what I’d been doing with myself last night... and would be doing other nights, too. “I’ll fix that.” I shift back to pony form, returning to being smaller than the mare in front of me. “Better?”
She blinks, before her expression becomes the only one I can really imagine she has on a regular basis, snobby bitch, I like to call it. “Well, now that you’re up, you will learn the rules of how things work around here.”
“Yeah, sorry,” I say, making Screwball’s trademark beanie with a propeller appear before settling it on my head. “Princess of Chaos. Don’t really pay attention to rules, so buh-bye.”
I move past her and start walking.
“What is that... thing on your head?” her voice demands at me.
I stop, turning around to look at her, giving a slightly bored look. “Um... a beanie? You do know what that is, right, Spoiled? Or do you need a foal to explain that to you?”
Her expression becomes a scowl... so, not really any different from her usual look. “I do know what a beanie is, you little abomination to ponykind. Why are you wearing it?!”
I glance up at the beanie, then close my eyes and shrug. “Uh, cos I wanna?”
“Well, you will certainly not being wearing that out of or inside this house,” she says in a tone that clearly means it is not negotiable. Yeah, like that’s gonna change my mind. “If I must deal with you being seen and associated with me, I will not have ponies thinking a foal I gave birth to enjoys wearing such... common attire.”
I snort. “Oh? What, are you gonna force me to wear a tiara like you do Diamond? Good luck with that, Spoiled.”
She snorts. “You will address me as Mother or Ma’am. Are we clear?”
I chuckle, putting a hoof to my chin in mock thought. “Lemme think about that. Um... nope.” And I turn to leave.
“Get back here, this instant, or you’re grounded!”
“Like to see how you’d enforce it,” I call back, my sneer oozing into my voice. “You can’t make me follow you blindly, Spoiled.”
“You’ll get no allowance for a year! And you will address me as Mother or MA’AM!”
I make a bag of bits appear, floating next to my head. “Try again.”
“I’ll get Princess Celestia to have you turned to stone!”
I stop.
I don’t turn around for a long moment.
I hear her snicker. “That got your attention, didn’t it, you chaotic beast?” she says, her tone thick with superiority. “Now, you’ll follow my orders to the letter and do exactly as your told or else you can join that other chaotic monster in the Canterlot Gardens, where you really belong.”
“Seriously?”
“Hmm?” she sounds annoyed. She should be scared. My voice had barely been a whisper and my tone was cold as ice.
I slowly turn to glance over my shoulder. “You’d seriously... have the princess of Equestria... turn a foal, innocent of any crimes... to stone, just because she wouldn’t follow your orders blindly and without question?”
There’s a flash and I’m suddenly floating eye level with Spoiled, my eyes narrowed and filled with hate.
“You’d condem a child to an eternity in stone, just because you couldn’t control her?! Are you seriously that heartless of a cow, Spoiled Rich?!”
She tries to back away, but, like the dumbass bitch she is, is already standing against the wall, thus has nowhere to go.
I feel cruel, though I personally think it is righteous, glee as I see the fear in her eyes.
How could she even think that? I’m her fucking daughter?! She gave this body life, technically speaking, even if it woke up in a comma and she just said she didn’t care if her own flesh and blood was turned to stone, just because they didn’t obey her rules?!
After several long minutes of letting her stew in fear as I glare into her eyes, I pull back and turn away.
“Y-you can’t talk to me that way!” she yells after me, though I can still hear the fear in her voice fighting her anger. “I’m your mother and you will show me respect.”
Glancing over my shoulder, I gave her a cold glare. “I'll give you all the respect you deserve. You have no right to call yourself my mother, Spoiled Bitch. And, from your words, I can tell you never will.”
With that, I return to looking ahead and walk down the stairs, not feeling in the mood to float. I need to do something fun to take my mind of the bitch that I’m now biologically related to. Wonder what I could do.
Pretty Pink Ponies Pranking Ponyville... trying saying that five times fast
I trot into the bakery, still fuming. I can’t believe that mare! I just... URG!
She actually did it. She actually went to Twilight to convince her to turn me to stone, just because she couldn’t control me like she does Tiara.
If I didn’t want to risk seriously disrupting Equestria’s timeline and maybe cause Tiara to remain acting as she is and leave the CMC Cutie Markless, and if I wasn’t against the idea of murder, I would have put Spoiled through so much pain before killing her it would go down in history!
“Hi, there, Pouty McPoutersin,” a cheery voice practically shouts at me as I move to sit at one of the booths.
Pushing my anger at Spoiled aside, I turn and smile at a pink mare, with a slightly darker pink and curly mane and tail, big blue eyes and a trio of balloons for a Cutie Mark.
“Hey, Pinkie Pie,” I say, looking up at the energetic mare. “I’ll have a lemon slice and a chocolate milkshake.”
She nods, before zipping into the kitchen. I’ve barely taken my seat when she comes back, the lemon slice and milkshake on a tray balanced on her head.
I levitate the items of the tray and set them down in front of me, before teleporting four bits over to her.
She nods, taking the money and zips over to the cash register, puts the money in, then returns to the kitchen.
“So, what kinda cake do you want for your Welcome to Ponyville Party?”
“YAH!” I cry, leaping into the air and clinging to the ceiling.
Pinkie is sitting right next to where I was. Okay, I may be a being of chaos, but how the hell did she do that? She went into the kitchen for crying out loud!
“Ooh! I can do this too.” I blink and look ahead of myself only to see the pink mare standing in front of me, suction cups, like the kind she used back in Baby Cakes, to stay up. “But I gotta use these. How’re you doing that without them? You’re not a Pegasus like Pound Cake.”
I sigh, before teleporting back to my seat... and I don’t even bother to question how she’s sitting next to me when I do.
Shaking it off, I turn to her and smile. “I’m Screwball.”
“I’m Pinkie Pie,” she replies, giving a wide smile.
I roll my eyes, smiling. “I know, Pinkie. Anyway, in answer to your question... I’ll have a cheesecake.”
She nods, before giving me a good hard look. “So, when’d you get here?”
I smirk. “Technically, I’ve physically been in Ponyville for about nine years. I only gained the ability to move around yesterday and—”
“WHAT?!”
I literally jump through the roof due to her shout taking me off guard. It doesn’t stop her somehow grabbing me and pulling us face to face.
“You’ve been here for nine years and I haven’t given you a Welcome Party yet?!”
“Well, I was in the hospital in a kinda coma...” I weakly try to state. How did I lose control of the situation so quickly again?
She shakes her head, her eyes narrowed. “Now I’ll have to make up for being SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO late!”
And... she was gone.
After taking several minutes to recover, I quickly finish my food and drink and hightail it out of there.
As I leave Sugarcube Corner, I look in the direction of the library and my expression sours. Spoiled Bitch is still over there, clearly trying to convince Twilight and Rainbow Dash that I’m a threat to Equestria, when I’m really just a threat to her rep, which I couldn’t give a shit about and, by the unicorn and Pegasus’ expressions, neither do they.
I turn, floating up and head off further into town. I wanna explore a bit before Spoiled somehow brings the Royal Guard it. I know she will. I don’t know how she’ll do it, but she will and then they’ll all question just why they have to arrest a little innocent filly for crimes equal to what Discord has done.
Yeah, I don’t see that working in her favour.
As I spot Carousel Boutique a little way ahead, I feel a foreleg wrap around my shoulder, causing me to jump, before I notice the colour.
“Wanna have some fun?” Pinkie asks as we move through the town.
I roll my eyes. Asking her about shouldn’t she be working on the party would probably be answered with “I am” or some other answer that only Pinkie could make sound both impossible and believable at the same time.
Just then I spot two particular fillies at a cafe and a wicked little smile comes to my lips. I suppose I could indulge Pinkie for a little while.
“It’s ridiculous, Silver Spoon,” Diamond Tiara declares angrily, stomping a hoof on the table. “How could I have a sister all this time and not know about it? And how can my sister be so... so...?”
Silver Spoon just nods. Diamond liked how Silver could always get her meanings without her having to spell it out for her.
“Chocolate milkshakes, on the house, young misses,” a unicorn mare with a brown coat and two Xs for a Cutie Mark says, levitating two glasses onto the table.
Both blink, before Diamond closes her eyes, smirking. Yes. Of course she’d get drinks on the house. She was a very important pony, after all. Mother was right. If you show your superiority, others will treat you better.
Both fillies nod to each other, before taking a few sips.
Tiara blinks, before drinking more eagerly. Something about this milkshake tasted better than any she’d had before. Had the pony that made done something more to it because she was so important?
She almost shook her head at that foolish question. Of course they did. She was better than them, after all. Why give the same stuff they sold to the common folk to a pony of her importance.
By the time she was a quarter of the way done, however, she felt her bowels tell her she needed the toilet, badly.
She moved to remove her lips from the straw and head for a bathroom, but, for some reason found she couldn’t; it was like her lips were attached to the straw. What was worse, she found she couldn’t stop herself from drinking, and, with each gulp of the milkshake, her need to pee became even greater.
Looking up frantically at Silver Spoon for help, she saw the grey filly seemed to be suffering from a similar affliction, if her wide eyes and frantic attempts to pull back were any indication.
On and on, Diamond found herself drinking, her bladder becoming more and more painful as the milk level in the glass went down.
After several minutes, the glass was finally empty. Diamond found her lips came right of the straw the moment the last drop of milk was gone.
She screamed as she ran for the nearest toilet, racing to reach there before her bladder blew or she peed in the streets. Her mother would never let her live it down if she did something so humiliating in public.
A cry growing louder told her Silver Spoon had finished her own drink and was following her to find relief, but she put that out of her mind, determined to reach the nearest bathroom.
Sugarcube Corner loomed ahead and Diamond ran with all her might, barging through the front doors, ignoring the voices of those she’d startled and bolted for the toilets in the back.
She rushed through the pink doors and into one of the stalls.
She cried out in relief as her bowels emptied, the sound of her peeing falling into the toilet reminding her of the calming Neighagara Falls.
Seconds later she heard another relieved cry from the cubical next to her and guessed it was Silver Spoon.
As Diamond relaxed, she eeped as she felt herself doing more than just peeing as she felt something plop out her ass.
She blushed hard, glad nopony could see her. When had she needed to do a number two?
After half a minute, Diamond sighed with relief as she finished her business. Flushing the toilet and exited to the stall, moving over to the sink to was her hooves.
However, as she turned on the tap, she felt her bowels tighten again and her face blanched. She needed to go again, already?
She didn’t ponder it long, for her bowels gave a warning quake and she ran back to the stall she’d used prior, flopped onto the seat and let lose.
A wail and running hoofsteps told her something similar had happened to Silver Spoon.
What’s wrong with me?! Diamond screamed in her mind.
At the same time, two pink ponies were hanging outside the bathroom, giggling as the smaller hide a bottle of Celestial Strength Laxatives in the older’s mane.
They both listened to the sounds of the two fillies moaning as their bowels tried to empty, before heading out the doors of the bakery, leaving everypony who’d been watching wondering just what was going on.
Rainbow Dash huffed as she flew through the sky. The nerve of that mare. Telling them to turn a little filly, her own daughter, to stone just for not following a few rules and trying to be herself?
Dash couldn’t believe the lack of family loyalty Spoiled Rich had for her own daughter. She hoped it wasn’t the same with her other daughter.
The fact that Diamond Tiara even had a sister was news to the rainbow-maned mare. She’d lived in Ponyville for a long time and had never heard anything of the Richs having a second daughter, only the one.
From what little the mare had actually said aside from them needing to turn the filly to stone (which was a good 95% of the conversation they’d had after the filly left for Sugarcube Corner), the young filly had been in hospital since birth and, only recently, had been able to leave.
Dash wasn’t too knowledgeable about the details, that was Twilight’s area of expertise, but it was odd how the filly’s recover coincided with Discord’s defeat.
The idea that Discord had made her a monster was ridiculous though. She hadn’t raced like a monster. She’d raced like a racer, which Dash admired about the little pony.
Yeah, the fact she could somehow fly and was able to make that magical window appear when she was neither a Pegasus nor unicorn was weird, but maybe Discord had done something that was permanent to the little one. She had said something about Discord changing her. Maybe the Elements’ power hadn’t gotten to her, so she was stuck with whatever changes he’d done. Spiral pupils weren’t normal, after all.
Though, it didn’t seem whatever he’d done was going to harm the filly long term, so it should be alright.
As Dash flew over the park, her keen Pegasus eyes spotted something sitting on one of the park benches. Namely, a plack with her name on it.
Curious, she flew down and read it more clearly.
4 U Rainbow Dash. Drink as much as you can.
Cautiously, she lifted up the plague, only for her eyes to lighten up. It was a mug of cider.
Taking it, she could feel through the mug it was perfectly temperature. Sniffing, she could smell the scent of apples, cinnamon and several other wonderful spices, making her mouth water.
Lifting the mug to her lips, she took a deep sip... only to get nothing.
Blinking, she held it up completely, intent to try chugging it... but nothing came out.
She pulled her lips away, confused. She could feel the cider in the mug and it against her lips when she put it to her mouth, but nothing was coming out.
“Wh... what is this?” she asked, her voice squeaking as she, hesitantly for a test, held the mug out and tipped it upside down. Nothing came out, even though there was clearly cider inside.
Suddenly, she felt weight shifting and quickly lifted the mug to her lips and took a deep sip... only to be sucking on wood.
“Why?” she asked, falling to her hind legs and holding her forelegs up to the sky. “WHY? What cruel being could do something so horrible?!”
A little away, two pink ponies were struggling to hold in their laughter as they rolled on the ground, their hooves over their mouths.
Rarity was busy finishing a dress she’d been working on before Discord had caused all his chaos.
It was a lovely sequin frock with lace trimmings... all of which she was having to redo. The monster had dared to make it look like a barnyard bargain with plaid patterns and orange and brown sequins melded with purple highlights.
It had almost caused her to faint at the sight of it, let alone all the hours of work now wasted thanks to that chaotic beast’s meddling.
As she was finishing the latest of the complex appliqué to her design, when there was a knock on her door.
“Come in,” she called in a sing-song voice. “I’ll be with you in a minute.”
There was another knock.
Rarity frowned, glancing over her shoulder, before clearly her throat. “I said, you may come in and I’ll be with you in a moment,” she called, a touch of annoyance entering her voice.
Again, the knocks came, more incessantly this time.
“Well, really,” the unicorn huffed, setting all her things down and walking out the back room, into the front of her shop and opening the door, demanding, “And just why could you not come in and be patient?”
She regretted the words as they left her mouth, for a very confused and startled Fluttershy was standing on the other side of the door.
“Oh, dear, Fluttershy. I... I’m so sorry,” she said, trying to comfort her friend, who’s eyes were looking around in worry. “I didn’t mean to snap at you, darling. But, whatever it is that’s bothering you, could you not have come inside and simply waited for me to have a free moment? It is quite unlike you to knock so impatiently on my door like that.”
“Um, well, uh, you see,” the timid Pegasus said, heading half her face behind her mane. “I, um... I don’t really... know how I got here, or who was knocking on your door, Rarity.”
The unicorn raised an eyebrow. “Truly?”
Fluttershy nodded. “I was helping Fuzzy Legs with a small dispute between him and another spider that watched to put their web where his was and then I suddenly found myself out her and saw... um... oh my.”
Rarity frowned. “Saw what, darling?”
“Um... it’s probably better you don’t see,” Fluttershy mumbled, but it was for naught when a southern accented voice called out.
“Hoowee, Rarity! What in the hay happened t’ yer shop?”
Frowning, Rarity moved passed Fluttershy and saw Applejack standing a little up the path, clearly headed to the market if the cart strapped to her back was any indication and turned to see what the farm pony was looking at... only for her jaw to drop.
The outer design of the Carousel Boutique was completely covered in plaid.
“I, but... how did... and it... when did...uhh?” Rarity’s eyes rolled into the back of her head before she collapsed on the ground at the farm pony’s hooves.
Had either Applejack or Fluttershy been paying attention to anything aside their recently rendered unconscious friend, they would have noticed the sound of giggling and snorting laughter from some nearby bushes.
Twilight sighed as she slumped on a cushion in her library’s living room. The day had been exhausting... and it was still just the afternoon.
“This is serious, Twilight!”
The unicorn looked blearily up at the frantic and sorrowful tone of the cyan Pegasus.
Rainbow Dash had arrived about an hour ago, crying about a haunted cider mug, that held cider but could not be drunk from.
Though skeptical at first, Twilight had examined the mug herself and found Dash was right. it wasn’t one of those gags mug that look like they have a liquid in it, cider in this case, but turn out to be really empty. Her tests had confirmed there really was cider in this mug, but it could not be drunk.
She had spent the next hour trying to figure out just how such an impossibility to science could exist... and had come up with nothing. There were no logical findings as to how the mug Dash brought was holding genuine cider, yet would not yield a single drop from within.
Still, it wasn’t nearly as serious as Dash was making it out to be. True, the way this could possibly happen was important to know, but it wasn’t like it was imminent Equestria learn how a mug could hold cider, yet never relinquish a drop.
“Oh, um, is this a bad time?”
Twilight looked up and Dash around to find Fluttershy standing in the doorway, looking uncertain.
“What is it, Fluttershy?” Twilight asked weakly, sluggishly standing up.
“Oh, I can see you’re busy,” the butter-yellow pony said, taking a few steps back. “I’ll come back later.”
“No, it’s alright, Fluttershy.” Twilight stretched her legs to get any stiffness out and smiled at her friend. “What can I do for you?”
“Oh, um, well, it’s about Rarity’s house,” the Pegasus murmured, looking down.
Dash rolled her eyes. “Let me guess, she found a stain on her floor and now need the Royal Guard to come and save her from it.”
“It’s... a bit more than a stain,” the Pegasus replied, not meeting their eyes.
“What in Celestia?!” Dash gaped as she and Twilight stood in front of the Plaid Boutique several minutes later.
Twilight just couldn’t understand this. First Rainbow Dash finds a mug of cider that can’t be drunk from and now Rarity’s whole outer boutique is covered in plaid.
“We need answers,” Twilight frowned, turning and heading for her library. “Maybe the princess will have an idea.”
Moments later they were all crowded in Twilight living room, Rarity, who was still out cold from seeing her boutique in such a state, was laying on the couch, with Fluttershy holding her hoof, trying to coerce her back to wakefulness, as Twilight turned to Spike, who had a quill and scroll, feverishly writing down what Twilight had told him.
“Twilight Sparkle,” he said, finishing off. “Okay, ready.”
“Then send it,” Twilight said, to which Spike nodded and blew on the parchment, setting it alight and off to Princess Celestia.
“Ah hope the princess can figure out what’s goin’ on,” Applejack said, glancing over at Rarity. “Ya don’ think Discord got out again, do ya? Ah can’t think o’ anypony else who could make a mug o’ cider ya can’t drink and paint Rarity’s house plaid in a second.”
“Huh,” Twilight frowned.
“What is it, Twi?” Dash asked, noticing the thoughtful expression on the unicorn’s face.
“I dunno,” the lavender mare replied, shaking her head. “When AJ mentioned Discord, I felt like I’d forgotten something, but, for the life of me, I can’t remember what. Ya know?”
Dash frowned. “Huh. Now ya mention it, yeah. I feel like I’m forgetting something too.”
“Well, maybe when the princess replies we can—BURP!” Spike was cut off as he belched a scroll out of green flames.
Twilight took the scroll in her magic and read it... only to raise an eyebrow.
“What’s it say, Twi?” Applejack asked as the sounds of Rarity coming to could be heard from the couch.
Twilight cleared her throat.
Dear my most faithful student,
I do not understand why you sent me a blank piece of parchment. Was it an accident again, like when Spike had the hiccups and sent all those scrolls not intended for me by mistake?
Your mentor and friend,
Princess Celestia.
They all remained quiet, eyebrows raised in confusion as they processed what had just been read.
“What does she mean a blank piece of parchment?” Dash frowned. “We all saw Spike writing it. Hay, I even looked over his shoulder as he did it. There were words on that paper before he sent it.”
“Hmm,” Twilight turned to the inkpot Spike had used for the quill and gave it a quick scan. “Strange, this isn’t invisible ink. Why would the scroll have been blank when she got it?”
“Maybe the magic in my fire breath is weakening and the words didn’t get sent with the paper?” Spike suggested.
Twilight shook her head. “No, Spike. Your magic breath is because of the influx of magic I poured into you egg when I hatch you. It’s a part of you and shouldn’t ever be able to run out. Let’s try something else.”
She levitated another paper and wrote a quick “Are there words on this?” on there, before handing it over to Spike, who blew it away.
Moments later, a message returned, stating the same as before. Princess Celestia had received a blank page.
“What in tarnation’s goin’ on around here?” Applejack asked, taking of her Stetson and stretching her head.
A loud snort was heard from above and they all looked up at the chandelier-like like on the ceiling.
Before they could ask what was going on, a large pink mass dropped from it and fell to the floor, before bursting out into snorting laughter.
“Told you it’d work, Pinkie.”
They all looked up and Twilight and Dash saw a filly they recognized from earlier that morning.
I float down like a leaf until I’ve touched the ground, Pinkie Pie still rolling on the floor laughing.
“Wait a minute,” Dash says, looking from Pinkie to me. “You two were behind all this?”
I roll my eyes. “Discord’s in stone. Who else could make a cider mug you can’t drink from or manage to make Rarity’s home plaid? Speaking of,” I wink, before grinning. “All fixed.”
Twilight blinks, before narrowing her eyes. “Wait. So... Spoiled Rich was right when she said Discord created you?”
BAAAAAA!
I smile as they all look around at the sound of the buzzer.
I shake my head. “Wrong, Twilight Sparkle.” I coil like a snake into the air, before returning to my normal shape floating above them all. “She give birth to me. Discord just gave my comatose body the ability to move. But, without my mind, this would still be a lifeless husk. Heck, you should all be glad. With the power I have, if I were still in the state he’d left me in, I’d be causing chaos without trying or knowing what I was doing.”
“Wait... what?” Applejack looks from me to Twilight, her expression very confused. “Twi, who in the hay is this and how is she floatin’? She’s an Earth Pony. And what’s this about Discord?”
I pat Applejack’s head, having just appeared on her back. “Don’t get your core in a crumble, AJ. I may be an Earth Pony, but I’m an Earth Pony with Chaos Magic. But, I’m a good pony.”
I spend the next few minutes using slideshows and puppets to describe to them what happened. By the end of it, they look like they understand... but are still confused.
“So... Filthy Rich has another daughter, who was in a coma since birth?” Applejack asks.
I nod, smiling. “Yep. Discord is really to thank for me coming out of it, as unintentional as it was. He meant to make me a creature of chaos that would just spread it without thought, but, in doing so, pulled me into this body. With me pulling the strings, you got nothin’ to worry about.”
“But... what about everything that happened today?” Dash asks, pointing outside. “You made a mug of cider that doesn’t let you drink from it, then gave it to me.”
I shrug. “That was Pinkie’s idea. She thought it was a good prank and, considering how you reacted,” I snicker, trying not to laugh, “I gotta agree with her. Oh, and, here, to make up for it.”
As I finish speaking, the mug of cider flies over to Dash, a little spilling out due to the momentum.
At once, Dash grabs it and chugs it down. When she finishes she pulls back, letting out a breath, before a goofy, contented open-mouthed, tongue-hanging out smile crosses her face.
“Is there anythin’ else we should be worried about?” AJ frowns at me. “Anymore of you two’s pranks lurking about?”
“Well...” I say, looking up innocently, a halo appearing above my head.
Twilight facehoofs. “Why do I get the feeling this isn’t going to end well?”
“I’m telling you, dear, she’s a monster! We have to do something!” Spoiled shouts at her husband as he sits in his chair, reading the paper. “Did you not hear all the chaos she sowed today? The town was falling apart.”
The “falling apart” as in description of how everypony would somehow find themselves slipping on banana peels that weren’t there a moment ago and crashing into giant pies, normal pies flying from nowhere or from presents. Ponies rolling around on the ground trying to scratch themselves due to itching powder. She made it sound like a nightmare made real.
“They were just harmless pranks, dear,” the brown stallion chuckles as he turns the page of his paper. “It’s all in good fun and nopony really got hurt. Why, it’s only a little more than what Miss Pie and Miss Dash put the town through regularly.”
“Harmless pranks?!” Spoiled growls, stomping a hoof. “Diamond and that friend of hers, Silver Spoon are in hospital after getting their stomachs pumped to remove all the laxatives inside them and staying overnight to be monitored. You call that harmless?”
“Wow,” I snicker, from where I’m watching on the stairs, completely unnoticed. “Who’da thought the mare that brought me into this world had such a bad sense of humor? Oh, yeah. Amy Keating Rogers.”
Dad sighs, looking to his wife. “Dear, she’s just settling in. She's been in a coma for all her life and only now able to move around freely. Add the Chaos Magic Discord put into her and it's a wonder she's being so well behaved. I’m sure she won’t do this all the time.”
True, today was really just to get Pinkie to like me and show I can have fun and really give a test of what i can do. I don’t plan on pranking everypony every day. Spoiled, on the other hoof...
“Well, I’m not having a foal associated with our family seen as a rambunctious ragamuffin,” I can’t help snickering. Did she seriously just say “ragamuffin” as an insult? Who does that these days? “Tomorrow she will begin personal lessons with me and learn to be a proper mare, just like her sister.”
I snort. Yeah. Good luck with that, Spoiled. You’ll need it.
Seeing this isn’t going anywhere amusing anymore, I pop back into my room, to find Randolph standing by my bed with a glass of chocolate milk.
I levitate it over and gulp I down, licking my lips. “Thanks, Randolph.”
He nods, smiling at me, before leaving the room.
I yawn, before leaping onto my bed and falling asleep almost immediately. All that pranking with Pinkie really took it out of me.
Meeting Mischief Makes Mayhem... well, it ends up near it, at least.
A loud bell ringing draws me from my blissful time in the land of sleep and I slowly open my eyes, only to glare as Spoiled Rich comes into focus.
“Good,” she says firmly, turning her already upturned nose even further up. “Get up. We have much for you to learn.”
“Not on your... wait. What the heck?!” I’ve only just noticed something about myself that hadn’t been that way when I went to sleep last night.
My hair is now much shorter, more like Diamond Tiara’s and combed in an elegant, yet different style.
Looking around, there are several maids and servants in the room, all standing around my bed, some holding hair products and others tools for combing hair.
I make a mirror appear before me and gape. I look like Diamond, but with a slightly curlier styling to my mane and tail.
I turn, glaring at Spoiled. “What the hell is this for?”
She frowns, well, more so than before, anyway and sniffs. “Is this word “hell” meant to represent something?”
I snort. “If you need a translator, it basically means Tartarus. So, I basically was swearing at you.” Yeah, I know. Like holding a mouse in front of a starving, rabid cat. But, can you blame me? When was the last time you went to sleep, only to wake up and find out the one meant to be one of your parents completely changed your looks whilst you slept without asking you first?
At once, her eyes narrow. “You dare to swear at me?! These lessons cannot come soon enough!” She turns around, her head held high. “Now, come with me, Lilac and I will do my best to try and turn you into a respectable mare, as impossible a task it may seem.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
She stops, before slowly turning around, eyeing me warningly. “Ex-cuse me?!”
I just look coldly at her sideways. “You can go off and be all Miss Most Important Pony in the World According to Myself as you want. But you’re not dragging me into it.”
Her right eye twitches, causing me to smirk. Who’d have thought ticking off this bitch who we as a fandom had never known until season five was the reason Diamond acted so rude and was even worse would be so much fun? Turning into an Earth Pony and being trapped in this world has been worth that alone. Being Screwball and having Chaos Magic is just a bonus, really.
“You ungrateful retch!” she snarls, taking several steps back towards me. “If not for me you would have died as a foal! It is by my good graces that you were allowed to live and are even staying in this room! One word from me and you can be taken away, never to be seen again. Now, do as you are told and follow my orders to the letter, without question and only speak when spoken to! Understand, you spawn of Discord?!”
Any goading cheer I was feeling instantly cuts off. I stare at her as she turns to leave, blinking for several moments, before my face darkens.
“Now, I’ve disposed of that putrid beanie you were wearing yesterday,” she continues, unaware of the death glare aimed at her head. “Such attire is not something a proper mare wears and neither shall you, Lilac. I have found a lovely tiara, much like your sister’s, that you shall wear instead. I expect it to be on your head at all times when out. You will never remove it unless told to or cleaning yourself. Is that understood?”
“No.”
At once, she stops, glancing over her shoulder with narrowed eyes. “Come again, Lilac?”
“I said “no”,” I repeat, lifting my head, glaring at her. Yellow light flashes and spreads out along my mane and tail, returning them to what they had been before, along with a flash revealing my beanie back on my head. “You can go fuck yourself. I’m not doing what you say.”
She turns around, glaring firmly at me. “You wish to be taken away? If not, you will obey me, Lilac. Are we clear on that?” she finishes with a smirk, as if that was the last word on the matter. Oh, she is so wrong.
I growl. “I. am not. Lilac.” I slowly float up, my mane and tail moving slowly in an ethereal wind. “You left her to die.”
She snorts. “Lilac, enough of this foolish—”
“My name. Is SCREWBALL!” I scream, a fierce wind bursting outward, as if from within my very body. “I am not some simple puppet you can use to your own will, Spoiled Rich!” My irises are shining yellow as I aim my sight at the mare who dares to act like she can control me. “I am not, nor will I ever be, a project you can use however you desire! I am my own being! I have a mind, a heart, a soul! My own force of will and you have no say in what I feel or want! I decide that, not you! You may be my mother by biological birth, but you have no hold over me!”
I turn my head to the servants and maids, all of whom cower under my gaze, which softens as I look at them. “I do not blame, nor hold anything against any of you. Go, now!”
They all nod, before running frantically out the door, completely ignoring Spoiled’s order’s to return.
Once it is just the two of us, I return my gaze to her, any kindness leaving it at once as a cold smirk forms on my lips.
“And, did you seriously think I’d be scared of being taken away? Really?! The Element Bearers already know I am no threat, Pinkie Pie, the Element of Laughter herself, will attest to that. How did you honestly think that would work against me? How could you even enforce such a threat? I have Chaos Magic! The only thing that can stop that currently in Equestria is null en void due to the wielders of said power not believing a foal is any danger. The Royal Guard? You think they could ever even touch me? Even the Princesses themselves would have no chance against me, you spoiled mare!”
She just keeps standing there, glaring coldly at me. “You will obey me or—”
“Or NOTHING!” I screech, a burst of wind slamming against Spoiled, sending her flying out the room and down over the edge of the stairs, landing with a thud on one of the plush couches. I’m a chaos user; aim is trivial, even when I can’t see where I’m aiming.
After several moments, I calm down, taking several deep breathes. Once I’ve calmed enough, I walk out the room, downstairs and into the kitchen, where I see Randolph preparing what looks like a lunch for school.
“Morning, Randy,” I say happily as I move over to the fridge, opening it with my magic and looking for something to snack on for breakfast.
He glances over, before blinking. “Randy?”
I turn to look at him, my expression simple. “Would you rather I not use a nickname?”
He nods. “My apologies Miss Li—”
“Screwball.” He blinks, to which I roll my eyes. “I don’t care what my so-called mother says, my name is Screwball, not Lilac. She left Lilac to die when she was a foal.”
There’s a pause, before his expression saddens a little and he nods, before returning to prepare the lunch.
Having found an apple, I levitate it out of the fridge, making it peal and core itself, the unwanted stuff teleporting to the Apple Family’s compost bin. “Why’re you preparing a lunch?” I ask, taking a bite of my apple and savouring the delicious flavour. Apple Family apples beat real world apples any day.
He blinks, before sighing, shaking his head and chuckling. “I was getting it ready for Miss Tiara, as it is Monday, but... I forgot she’s in the hospital.”
I scoff. “Only cos Spoiled’s so pathetic she won’t let her daughter just bear it like any other pony and has to make a big show about it to reenforce her own over-bloated ego.”
He nods, before shaking his head. “I guess I’m just used to the routine. Old habits are hard to break, you know?”
I nod, before I notice the odd look he’s giving me. “What’son your mind?” I ask as I toss the last of the apple, about a quarter, into my mouth and chomp away.
He shakes his head. “It’s just... you look so much like your sister, Miss Li— Screwball. Why, if you were able to somehow change your appearance a little, you’d be identical.”
I shrug. “Yeah, but we’re totally different ponies when it comes to personality, at least for the moment. Me being mistaken for Tiara would be...” I trail off, before smirking. “Fun. I think I know somepony who could use that packed lunch, today after all, Randolph.”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders walked into class, all grinning ear to ear. It had been learned thanks to Featherweight that two certain fillies would not be in school today due to being in the hospital on account of having their stomachs pumped the other day. That meant no torment from Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon today.
“I wonder what exactly happened,” Sweetie Belle asked as they moved to their seat and waited for class to begin.
“Dunno,” her orange Pegasus friend said, putting her hooves behind her head. “But, I’m not complaining. A whole day of school without those two? Talk about a dream come true.”
“Okay, class,” Miss Cheerilee said, bringing all the fillies’ and colts’ attention to her. “Now, before we start, I’d like to point of that two ponies will not be in class today. Yesterday, something happened during all of Pinkie Pie’s pranks and now Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are in hospital after having had their stomachs pumped. With that in mind—”
“Hold everything, Miss Cheerilee!” a voice said, following the door flying open and heads turning in that direction. “I have arrived. You need not deal with just the commoner anymore.”
All eyes were on Diamond Tiara as she walked into the room, moving with the same self-assurance and confidence as she always did... but Apple Bloom frowned.
Something about Tiara’s movements was... off. She couldn’t place her hoof on what it was though. Something about the way she carried herself seemed... different than usual.
Miss Cheerilee was staring at Diamond, her expression just as baffled as the students. “But, Diamond Tiara, I thought you were meant to be in the hospital?”
“I can assure you, Miss Cheerilee,” the filly replied, Apple Bloom noticing a slight curving of her lips, “I haven’t set hoof in a hospital this day, nor need to.”
“Um, yes, well...” the teacher said, looking uncertain. “Very well, Diamond Tiara. Take your seat and class can begin.”
Apple Bloom watched as Diamond moved to her seat, before glancing at the farm filly, giving a sneaky grin and winking.
She blinked, shaking her head, wondering if she’d just seen what she thought she saw, but noticed Diamond was now facing the front of the class as their teacher began the lesson.
Sumthin’ up, she thought, cocking an eyebrow at the smiling pink filly. Ah dunno what, but it’s sumthin’.
“Now, as we can see from this chart. When the pegasi focused their efforts they managed to—”
A large, loud belch interrupted the teacher, causing her and everypony else to look to the young pink filly, who was leaning back with her hind legs crossed on her desk, picking at her teeth with a hoof.
“Phew,” she said, smirking. “That was a big one. Must’ve been that omelet last night. Gotta lay off the radishes.”
“Diamond Tiara,” Miss Cheerilee said, sounding slightly annoyed. This was the tenth time she’d done something that was not only disruptive to the class, but felt really out of place for the high society filly. “Would you kindly stop interrupting or it’s a Satur detention for you.”
“Yeah, sure,” Tiara replied, picking her nose without care.
Several fillies and colts went “Eew”, whilst the CMC just stared at their long time tormentor, open-mouthed. What in the hay had gotten into Diamond today? Normally she held herself with such poise, such elegance... but today she was acting like a total slob. It didn’t make any sense.
Miss Cheerilee took a deep breath, before stomping a hoof. “Diamond, if you act out once more, you’ll be having a whole weekend detention.”
“Meh,” the filly shrugged, before getting up and trotting towards the door.
“And where are you going?” the teacher asked firmly.
“I thought this would be more fun, but it’s boring now,” the filly replied, opening the door and glancing at the CMC. “Later, Crusaders.”
With that, she walked out, leaving the whole classroom in a stunned silence.
I wait until I’m a good distance from the schoolhouse, before keeling over and rolling on the ground, laughing.
Oh, that was priceless! I can’t wait for Diamond to try explaining why she acted that way in front of the whole class.
Hey, I know she’s gonna be reformed in about a year, but I can still have some fun, can’t I? We are sisters now, after all. What kind of sister would I be if I didn’t pull a few pranks on her here and there?
After managing to get my laughter under control, literally tying a leash around it as telling it to calm down, I get up, shake my head, and lift my disguise.
The tiara on my flank disappears as a beam of yellow light moves over it, replacing it with a screw and baseball. My mane and tail grow out and curl, the tiara on my head turns into a propeller beanie and my eyes go from blue irises around black pupils to purple spirals.
“Can’t wait for Spoiled to learn what I just did,” I snicker, making my lunch appear before me and heading into town, wondering when the events of Season Two are gonna start up. It’s been a few days since Discord’s defeat. When’s the next thing meant to start?
I glance around, levitating one of the apple slices Randolph put in the lunch and taking a bit, before I feel a tingle in my body.
Glancing around a bit more searchingly, I recoil as I hear an explosion and see a Rainboom spread across the sky and a rainbow-coloured stream of smoke became visible from the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.
“Oh,” I say quietly, wilting a little. “It would appear Lesson Zero is... ” I gulp, "today." I’m not sure if the Want It, Need It spell will work on me, but I’m pretty sure I’d rather not find out.
“What the hay was up with Tiara, today?” Scootaloo asked as the three Crusaders walked into the park, Sweetie Belle carrying her rainbow-striped inflatable ball with a foreleg.
“Dunno,” Apple Bloom frowned. “Sumthin’ was up, Ah can tell ya that much.”
“Tell me about it,” Sweetie Belle said, nodding. “She didn’t even call us Blank Flanks. When was the last time she called as Crusaders without adding an insult to it?”
The Pegasus shrugged. “Uh, never. It’s weird.”
Apple Bloom stopped when she saw a purple and white tail pocking a little out of a nearby bush. “Let’s ask her an’ find out.”
With that, she walked over, grabbed the tail in her mouth and yanked.
There was a startled yelped as the filly attached to said tail was pulled unceremoniously out of the bush.
“Alright, Diamond Tiara, just why... were... you...?”
They all blinked at the filly laying before they, confusion on each of their little faces.
It... looked like Diamond Tiara, but there were several differences between this filly and the snobby pony who had done nothing but cause them trouble.
Instead of a tiara her Cutie Mark looked like a screw and a baseball. Her mane and tail were much longer than Diamond Tiara’s and far curlier. On her head she was wearing a propeller beanie. However, it was the eyes that shocked them the most. They were purple spirals; no pupils at all.
Having decided to take a nap in some bushes to avoid Twilight’s eventual casting of the Want It, Need It spell, I had not expected to suddenly feel a yanking on my tail, nor to be pulled out of the bush by said tail.
Once I’ve gotten my bearings, I look up with an annoyed frown at the one who’d decided to wake me so rudely. I swear, if it’s Spoiled, screw risking the timeline, I’m gonna send her to the moon.
Instead, I blink as I see three fillies with no Cutie Marks, one of whom, the unicorn, is hold a rainbow-striped ball.
I blink, before understanding dawns on me. The CMC are going to play ball, which will be shortly followed by Twilight’s arrival.
Sweetie Belle is looking at me with a cocked eyebrow. “You look at lot like Diamond Tiara. Are you her twin sister?”
The orange Pegasus that will eventually become Rainbow Dash’s adoptive sister rolls her eyes. “Sweetie Belle, Diamond Tiara doesn’t have a sister. She’s an only child.”
“Nope. She’s spot on,” I say, blinking as I realize my voice had sounded like Spike’s for second. They all clearly take note of that too, if the raised eyebrows are any indication. “Sorry,” I say with my normal voice. “That happens when I quote others without thinking about it.” Really gonna have to watch that in the future.
“Wait,” the second of us Earth Ponies says, holding up a hoof. "What did ya mean, she’s spot on?”
I get up, nodding to the unicorn. “About me being Diamond’s twin sister. She was spot on with that guess.”
“WHAT?!” they all cry, their eyes wide.
“Diamond Tiara has a twin sister?” Scootaloo looks from me to her friends, then back. “How come we never heard about you? Where have you been all this time, under a rock?”
“More like left in a hospital to rot,” I mutter bitterly, though apparently not so quiet the three fillies didn’t hear me.
“In a hospital?” Apple Bloom asks, cocking an eyebrow. “Why were ya in a hospital? And, again, how come we ain’t never heard o’ ya. A member o’ Diamond’s family bein’ in the hospital is pretty big news.”
I snort. “Not when your biological mother makes sure nopony even knows of your existence.”
They all blink, before Apple Bloom asks, “Wha?”
I sigh and explain the situation to them, though I leave out most of the details. No need for them to know Spoiled left me to rot for her rep, at least until the days Crusaders of The Lost Mark happen. Then I’ll let them know everything. I do not, however, leave out the part about my chaos powers.
“Ah get that Diamond’s ma wouldn’t want nopony bothering them bought a daughter that seemed sorta...” she gulped, “dead, but... that seems a bit much.”
I shrug. “Well, what do you expect from a mare who worries about her social image?”
Silence rests among us for a bit, before Sweetie smiles and says, “Wanna play with us, Screwball?”
I look at their innocent faces, knowing full well just how much trouble the fillies owning said faces have and will cause in the future, but can’t help but smile and nod. They are technically the first ponies my new age I’ve really interacted with aside from Diamond. It would be nice to just play a game.
I frown slightly, scratching my head.
“What’s wrong, Screwy?” Scootaloo asks, having noticed my expression as they moved to start the game to include me.
I shake my head, still frowning. “I... I can swear I had to remember something about today, but... for the life of me, it won’t come to mind.”
“Maybe ya’ll remember it later,” Apple Bloom says, nodding to Sweetie, who bounces the ball into the air. “Now, let’s play ball.”
I smile and nod, hitting the ball with my head as it comes towards me, aiming it at the other Earth Pony.
After several bounces, that nagging feeling returns. When I pass the ball to Scootaloo, she doesn’t respond fast enough and it bounces of her head, making us all giggle.
As the ball stops pretty much dead centre between the four of us, it glows with a purple aura and expands, before popping, revealing a Twilight with a very dishevelled mane, eyes that are pinpricks and a really unnerving smile.
“Hi, girls!”
At once, my ears wilt as I remember just why I had originally wanted to get away from the CMC.
“Oh, would you look at the time,” I say quickly, lifting my right foreleg, which now sports a fancy watch. “Gotta go check how my sister’s doing in the hospital. See ya!”
With that last word I teleport away, determined to avoid the disaster that is about to happen, but that I can’t interfere with if the timeline is to work right.
As Fluttershy and Rarity helped Pinkie with putting away the dishes from the picnic, Applejack leaned against a tree, a stick a straw in her mouth, her Stetson over her eyes, whilst Dash laid on the ground her with hooves behind her head and shades over her eyes.
A suddenly popping sound caused them all to glance up to see an anxious filly they all met the other day.
“Screwball?” Fluttershy asked, noticing the worried glances the filly made as she turned her head to each of them. “Is something wrong?”
“No, no,” the filly replied, looking around again, as if searching for something else, before nodding, though her anxiety didn’t falter in the slightest. “Good, you’re all here. Never mind me. I’m just gonna go hide somewhere safe until sundown. Bye!”
With that the filly disappeared, leaving them all to glance at each other.
“Probably a game she’s playing with some other foals,” Dash shrugged, returning to lazing on the ground. The others nodded and returned to what they’d been doing.
When the teleport ends, I look around, before frowning.
I’m in the Everfree, near where the Tree of Harmony is, to be exact.
One of my ears twitch and I raise an eyebrow, listening. I can hear the sound of shifting plants.
I teleport again, to appear in front of the Tree of Harmony. It’s not a dull-looking as it was back when Discord’s Plunder Plants were on the loose. Or should I say will be?
Ag! Speaking about stuff in my past that’s yet to happen here can get really confusing at times.
A twinkling sound returns my attention to the Tree.
I cock an eyebrow, then walk forward until I’m standing in front fo the Tree.
Unsure why, I lift my right forehoof and place it on the trunk, just a few spots down from Luna’s Cutie Mark.
Suddenly, there’s a blinding flash of light and all goes white.
I blink, looking around. I seem to be in a world of white.
“Uh, hello?” I call out, hunching down a little as I hear my voice echo around me. “Uh... is anybody here?”
I am.
I jump, before looking around, but see no one.
“Who... who is that?” I call out again, wondering just what’s going on.
It is interesting to meet you at last, Screwball, the voice says. I did not expect you to visit us so soon. But, we are glad you do not come bringing chaos. My magic is still strong, but I would not be able to hold off the plants and deal with yourself at the same time.
I blink, before it hits me. “You’re the Tree of Harmony!” I gasp.
I feel as if the Tree nods. Indeed, I am. Thank you for not interfering with events you know must come to pass.
I blink, before frowning. “Hey, can I ask you something?”
Ask away.
“How come I can do almost anything, as opposed to just anything?” I look around, still not sure where I should be looking to be speaking with the Tree.
There are rules you and Discord follow, Screwball, the Tree replies. Even the both of you cannot break them.
I blink, before my frown turns to confusion. “Wait. Rules? We’re beings of chaos. What kind of rules can we not break? If anything, rules should be something he and I should be able to ignore.”
I feel the Tree shaking its head. Did you never wonder why Discord taunted the Bearers with his games instead of simply making sure there was no way they could stop him right away?
I frown, before nodding. “Well, yeah, a little at times, though I normally just go with the theory he didn't take it seriously because he didn't think they'd beat him. I’m not the only one who wonders, either. I can’t tell you the number of fanfics I read where Discord didn’t bother with those rules and just did whatever, or where he changed them, but... actually, I’d rather not talk about those. A lot of them involved clop. And, considering I’m a little filly, that’s stuff I really shouldn’t be thinking about.”
Says the chaos being who, on her first night in this world, experimented with herself using her chaos powers, the Tree replies.
I blush. “W-well, I’m still an adult in my head. And, I was a guy for twenty-four years. You honestly expect me not to be curious about how the other side felt during that kinda thing? Besides, it’s my own body. I can do what I want and it not be wrong... right?”
I swear the Tree chuckles. Regardless, I do believe we’ve gone off topic. As to answer your question, Discord had to give the Bearers a chance. He did this because there are unspoken rules yourself and Discord are bond to. It is the price for being able to manipulate reality in ways no other being can.
“Okay, I get it,” I say, waving a hoof. “It’s like in Ben 10: Ultimate Alien, when Professor Paradox says there are places he can’t go and things he can’t do. Like that kinda thing, right?”
I sense the Tree feels confused, before slowly saying, I suppose you can look at it that way. Probably doesn’t even know what I was talking about. Now, is that all? I feel you can return safely, without Twilight Sparkle’s spell affecting you now.
I nod, before frowning. “If I told you I know something that’s going to happen to you, would you already know about it?”
When my eyesight returns I’m standing in front of the Tree, my hoof still pressed against it.
I look up at it, still glowing with its strength, magic holding back the vines that will grow from the Plunder Seeds Discord planted little over a thousand years ago.
I smile, nodding to it. “It was nice chatting with you, Tree. See ya around.”
I walk out of the cave and look up at the sky. The stars are out, meaning Celestia has already lowered the sun and the whole riot caused by Twilight’s spell is over.
Smirking to myself, I teleport, ready to return home. Wonder if Spoiled was amongst the crowd. If so, that’s good blackmail material.
I open the door, nodding to Randolph as I walk through.
“How can you still defend her after the chaos she caused the whole town today?!”
I pause on my way to the stairs, turning to look in the direction of the living room. Wait. Is she seriously blaming me for what happened to today? So, anything odd occurs, the filly with chaos powers clearly had something to do with it? Because nothing weird ever happened in this town before I came along.
Levitating up to make no noise, I float over to the living room and peak around the corner.
As expected, Spoiled is standing in front of a very tired looking Filthy Rich, the former looking flustered and angry beyond what really is needed.
“Now, honey,” he says in what I can tell is a tone just inches away from being exasperated, “Princess Celestia made it quite clear Miss Sparkle caused what happened and that it was not her intention for things to get as they did.”
“Nonsense!” Spoiled retorts, shaking her head. “That’s a lie she’s implanted into both the princess and that unicorn’s minds! She caused it! She’s a Chaos Monster! It’s all she knows how to do!”
“Actually, the moment Twilight appeared, I hightailed it out of there to avoid that incoming disaster!” Both glance in my direction as I float in, my forelegs folded, my expression a deadpan.
Spoiled just glares at me. “Lies! You’ve done nothing but cause chaos since you arrived! Why the princess didn’t have you turned to stone already is beyond me, but she will soon! You’re evil ways are at their end!”
I glare. “Evil ways? Last I checked, pranks aren’t evil. If they were, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash would already be in jail!”
“Pranks?” Spoiled looks at me with befuddled rage. “You call what you’ve been doing pranks? You put our daughter, your own supposed sister, in the hospital!”
I snort. “The laxatives would’ve worked their way out of her system within hours. She only needed to remain in hospital because of the discomfort the unnecessary stomach-pumping put her through! A stomach-pumping you made her go through!”
“Don’t try pinning your blame on me, monster!” she snaps, taking a step forward. “All you’ve done is cause trouble for this family from the moment you got here!”
“Well, while you’re wasting your breath blabbing about how I’m the one in this family who needs their priorities readjusted, I’m going to school tomorrow.”
A folder appears directly beside Dad’s head.
“You are not setting hoof in the same school where my daughter goes for her learning!” Spoiled orders, reaching for the folder, only for it to turn to jello and smoosh in her grasp.
I scoff. “So, one of your children is allowed to go to school but the other isn’t? Reason? And, if you say because I’m a chaos beast or whatever else you’ve prattled on since I first got here, I’m not gonna listen.”
“You can’t go to the same school as Diamond!” she snarls, stepping towards me, though her snarl is less intimating (not that she was intimidating me in the first place) with her face covered in green jello.
“Why?” I ask, cocking my head. “Afraid that seeing me defy you will make her question whether she should follow you like the trained dog you treat her as?”
A vein twitches on her forehead and I smirk.
“I’m going ta bed,” I teleport passed Spoiled and kiss Daddy on the cheek, saying, “Goodnight, Daddy.”
With that, after taking a look at Spoiled’s fuming face, I teleport back to my room, to find Randolph standing there.
“Would you like anything to eat, miss?” he asks, giving a small bow of the head.
I shake my own. “I’m good, Randolph. I’ve something planned, anyway. Ya know, Chaos Magic an' all?”
He nods, bidding me a quick, but warm, “Goodnight, Miss Screwball,” and heads off, no doubt to tend to some other chore.
Smiling, I float back into my room and close the door, remembering to put sealing charms on it to ensure Spoiled can’t get in again whilst I’m sleeping, nor will any I don’t want unless they have permission from myself, even if they’ve been ordered by Spoiled.
With the knowledge I’ll be able to sleep in security of not finding myself given a makeover in my sleep meant to enforce an obedience to Spoiled, I change into a human form and sit on my bed.
I click my fingers and a McDonald’s triple cheeseburger, a large fries and Fanta, plus a large caramel sundae appear on a tray on my bedside table.
Just because I’ve become a pony, doesn’t mean I can’t use my Chaos Magic to still enjoy the things I did back when I was human in the real world. A little Chaos Magic on my inner systems and processing meat is no problem.
“WHAT?!” Diamond screams as I float above the floor as Daddy and I are situated at the foot of her bed. She’s staring at Daddy as if she can’t believe what she just heard... which I guess she doesn’t. If I didn’t know the truth about Diamond, I’d say like mother like daughter.
The Earth Stallion just nods. “Your sister will be starting school today.”
“But— But, Daddy,” she whines, shaking her head with fear in her eyes. “She’ll ruin everything! Everypony will think I’m a loser because I’m related to her!”
He just chuckles, shaking his head. “Now, Diamond, I think that’s a bit much. I’m sure everypony will love your sister.”
She glares at me, the look saying “That’s why I don’t want you going to the same school I go to”.
I just shrug. Like I care. Sure, I don’t need to go to school, but it would get boring just going around Ponyville everyday. Besides, being at school means I can rub things in, which’ll make it harder for Diamond to find a way to get me in trouble, which I will in turn use to keep the CMC from getting blamed for stuff Diamond pins on them.
There has to be stuff in between the episodes I’ve seen.
“But... but what if she’s not smart!” Diamond yells, pointing at me. “What if she messes up whatever work Miss Cheerilee gives her so badly that I have to leave because she thinks her stupidity will rub off on me?!”
I narrow my eyes. Okay, gonna be redeemed later or not, I’m really considering making things hard for her.
Daddy gives Tiara a hard look. “Tiara, she is your sister. I doubt she will do that badly.”
A lot of Bronies and Pegasisters woulda disagreed with that logic several episodes ago, I don’t say out loud.
“Don’t worry, Daddy,” I say in a sweet voice, inwardly sneering at the death glare Tiara aims at me. “I promise to be on my best behavior.”
There is an amusing silence, in which I have to hold back snickers due to the sounds of a chirping cricket in the background.
Three, two, one...
“WHAT?!”
The classroom erupts into screams of shock and confusion at my declaration, whilst I just stand there and cackle like a loony.
It takes Cheerilee several minutes to calm the class down, before she turns to me and asks me to fully introduce myself, muttering under her breath, “As much for myself as the other students.”
I look out to them all and smile. “Okay. I’m gonna get the first obvious question outta the way. None of you would know about me because I’ve been in hospital since I was a baby.”
This is met with a few gasps of shock and looks of worry.
“What happened?” Sunny Days asks, her ears pulled back.
I sigh, looking down. “I was kinda born asleep. It's called Unresponsive Wakefulness Syndrome. Nothing the doctors did would wake me up, so I was stuck being looked after all my life.”
This causes everypony to look at each other, before a brown hoof I notice belongs to a certain Button Mash... even though I know he didn’t reappear until season five, raises into the air. “If the doctors couldn’t wake you up, how come you’re awake now?”
I nod. “A good question, Mr. Mash. One I shall answer after speaking about something important to our dear teacher.” As I finish, I turn to Miss Cheerilee and bow. “I’m sorry for my actions yesterday, Miss Cheerilee.”
She blinks, looking confused. “You’re actions? Yesterday?”
I look up, nodding. “I pretended to be my sister because I wanted to pull a prank. I have since realized how wrong I was to do so and humbly ask you to accept my apology.”
She blinks again, cocking her head. “Pretended to be her?”
Yellow light flashes over my body and everypony gasps. I now look exactly like Diamond Tiara, save the goofy grin I’m sporting.
“How did you do that?” Snails asks, his mouth hanging agape.
I return to my form and grin. “Any of you remember when Discord was running amok here in Ponyville a couple days ago?”
They all nod and I shrug. “He found me in the hospital and put some Chaos Magic in me. When the Element Bearers used them to turn him to stone and cure the world of his chaos, it all went into me.”
“Wait a minute,” Sunny Days says, staring at me with wide eyes. “Are you saying you have powers like Discord?”
I smirk, the desks all turning into metal, before reverting back, to everypony else’s amazement. “Yep.” I turn to Miss Cheerilee. “And that’s how I pretended to be my sister. I’m sorry, Miss Cheerilee. I’ll accept any punishment you would have given her and any additional ones you feel I deserve for trying to get her in trouble in the first place.”
The mulberry mare blinks a few times, before shaking her head and speaking slowly. “Well... Screwball... as long as you’ve learned your lesson, I’ll let it go this time. Do it again, though, and you will have to deal with the consequences.”
I give a genuine relieved smile and nod, saluting. “Understood, ma’am.”
She nods, before indicating to a spare seat behind Scootaloo. “Take your seat, Screwball and we can begin.”
I move over to my desk and sit down, looking around at everypony and smiling, though feeling a little disheartened when they quickly avert their gazes and return them to the front.
I give a small pout. Wow. Now I know how Nyx felt in Past Sins on her first day of school. Which reminds me...
A second later I look inside my desk and smile at my first edition copy of Past Sins, now free from the small bits of wear and tear it had gained due to my regular reading of it. I got it back when the Luna’s Hoard went out on Ebay. I’d wanted to get two, but my mother back in the real world wouldn’t let me spend over $100 on two books, regardless of the reasons.
I smirk and the book multiples into two.
I frown, looking up, thinking. I wonder if Twilight would like to read this and maybe Princess Luna too? It would certainly be an interesting read and...
I frown again, several points made in that fic coming to mind. I’m gonna have to investigate to see if anything similar is going on in this reality. You never know.
But, I put that out of mind for now and focus on the morning lesson. Can’t wait to speak with the CMC after this. They’ve probably a ton other questions, just like everypony else.
“Thus concludes my reasoning why those ponies that disrupted the gala this year should be arrested and jailed. Or, at the very least, striped of half their possessions to pay for the damage,” the white unicorn finished, puffing out his chest.
Celestia was finding it very hard not to simply roll her eyes at her nephew’s blustering.
“Blueblood,” she said in a calm tone that masked her annoyance at his slight frown at not being addressed by title, “you say those six ponies, who unintentionally caused the gala to fall apart, thus it was an accident, should be punished?”
The noble unfitting of the word nodded, sniffing. “The sooner, the better, Auntie. We cannot have others think we would allow such actions to go unpunished.”
“Did it ever occur to you to check just who they were, nephew?” Celestia gave a slight eyebrow raise.
Blueblood paused, looking up with a slight frown. “I believe that wench that dared to soil my royal face with commoner cake was... her name was Rarity, I believe?”
Celestia nodded. “Very good, nephew. Now, what is the name of the unicorn who used the Element of Generosity to aid in Discord’s defeat several days ago?”
Blueblood paused, looking confused. Celestia knew this would stump him. Unless he could use a pony to further his own gains or to demand punishment upon for some ridiculous actions, he rarely bothered to learn names. And, despite their fame as heroes, it was clear even he knew the Element Bearers were beyond his reach. Either that, or he was so full of himself he hadn't even considered it. She was leaning towards the latter.
“Allow me to answer the question for you, Blueblood,” she said, barely holding back a small smirk. “Her name, one of the six ponies who is now a national hero for saving us all from Discord, is Rarity.”
The stallion cocked an eyebrow, before snorting. “Auntie, I fail to see why this is important. If Miss Rarity saved us as one of the Element Bearers, I do not see what it has to do with that Rarity mare’s punishment for insulting... our...”
He blinked, before his ears splayed back.
Celestia nodded. “Indeed nephew. The Rarity that helped save Equestria and the Rarity whom was at the gala are the same Rarity. If you wish me to punish her for something as trivial as being offended by your own actions at the gala and seeking her own small justice for it, you will be punishing a national hero. I do not believe our subjects will look lightly on such a thing. Many of the nobility will talk and not in a flattering manner.”
She’d got him.
However, upon mentioning the gala, Blueblood snarled. “My actions? She deserved such treatment. She was merely trying to get in favour with me for political gain, just like all those other mares!”
At this, Celestia scowled, causing Blueblood, her personal assistant Quick Script and several of the guards to shudder. You did not want to be under the princess’s gaze when she scowled.
“Blueblood,” she said in a tone that told you she was angry, but holding it in, which caused the prince to whimper, “Rarity is the Element of Generosity. Generosity! For you to insinuate that such a mare would only be interested in political gain shows very little of you ability to read ponies! I have spoken with Rarity myself on the matter and she informed me that she has dreamed of a relationship with yourself, not because of your power of money, but because she admired you for the pony you are.”
Blueblood gave a small smile at that. “R-really?”
“However, your actions and behavior the night of the gala left her realizing you are not the honorable stallion she had envisioned you to be since she was a filly, but are a selfish, closed-minded maul, who cares not for the feelings of others, but only himself!”
The smile fell from his face as quickly as it had formed and genuine sadness filled him at that thought.
Celestia pointed a hoof toward the throne room doors. “You may go, nephew.” He opened his mouth to say something. “You may go!”
Slumping his shoulders, the prince turned and trod out slowly, the doors closing behind him.
Celestia sighed, letting shoulders slump a little.
However, before she could dwell on the matter, there was a swooshing sound, followed by a wisp of embers appearing before her, which came together and formed a scroll.
A letter from Twilight already? she couldn’t help rolling her eyes. I do hope this letter isn’t her trying to make up for a letter I told her she didn’t need to send.
Opening the letter, she began to read.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I realize this letter comes shortly after you informed me about how I don’t need to send you letters on a weekly basis and only when a reason comes up.
Well, a reason has come up. She, I should say, came up a few days ago and, after learning about her, I have been trying to figure out how best to word the situation we now face.
Now, as you remember, several days ago, Discord got out and caused his chaos, starting around Ponyville before he intended to head towards Canterlot and beyond.
It would seem that, whilst he is no longer out, something he left behind remained in Equestria.
Allow me to explain: a day after Discord’s defeat, my friends and I were each pranked, as were a lot of Ponyville’s citizens. It turned out the pranksters were not, as one might expect, Pinkie and Rainbow Dash, Dash herself becoming a victim of one of the pranks.
Instead, another pony joined Pinkie’s pranking. The second culprit was a young Earth Pony filly named Screwball.
Celestia paused, raising an eyebrow. That is an odd name for one to give their foal. She went back to reading.
Screwball proved to be a dangerous mix when combined with Pinkie’s pranking wishes. She is one of the two daughters of Filthy Rich, one of the wealthiest ponies in Ponyville.
Celestia had to pause again, an eyebrow arched yet once more. She did know of Mr. Rich and, as far as she was aware, the stallion known as Filthy Rich only had one daughter, a filly by the name of Diamond Tiara. Did he recently have another daughter?
She frowned, shaking her head. That wouldn’t make sense. How could he have a new daughter and she play pranks with Pinkie Pie? That didn’t even come close to making sense, even for the pink mare.
Shaking her head again, Celestia returned to the letter, hoping Twilight would enlighten her as to this confusing array of thoughts now plaguing her.
Now, you may already know of his first daughter, Diamond Tiara and are probably confused by my saying Screwball is also his daughter.
Well, while you will be confused at first by what I tell you, know that there are answers to this. Screwball and Diamond Tiara are twins. Yes, twins.
However, when they were born, Screwball, or, as she was known at the time, Lilac, was born with Unresponsive Wakefulness Syndrome. She has been in hospital for all her life until several days ago. You will notice, I assume, the coincidences in this timing.
This is because, Lilac was found by Discord whilst he was free and he placed a bit of Chaos Magic within her, turning her into a chaos spreading being that would do so unconsciously, as she had no living mind at the time.
Celestia’s eyes widened in horror. Another being that could spread chaos and this one without knowing it? That was even more dangerous than Discord himself!
However, Celestia kept her calm, if only not to alarm those around her and continued reading, hoping Twilight would say the situation wasn’t as bad as she was envisioning, having fought Discord alongside Luna all those centuries ago.
Discord unintentionally put an end to his own plans with Lilac, whom he renamed Screwball after infusing her with a fraction of Chaos Magic. The force of that magic pulled the spirit of a being from another world into Screwball’s body just moments before we used the Elements of Harmony to turn Discord back into stone.
When the Elements dispersed the chaos energy he’d already spread, it was pulled towards the only being left with any chaotic power, one who was not harmed by the Elements due to her spirit not having any of Discord’s ill intent when the Harmonic energies were released: Screwball.
Once she came to, Zecora found her and brought her to the Rich Manor, which Screwball figured out was her family’s home after taking a potion Zecora gave her that let her see her own past.
Screwball has proven that, whilst she does posses Discord’s sneaky nature, she is a good-hearted filly. From what Pinkie has told us and what Dash has observed of her since I asked her to tail the filly, she seems as innocent as any other filly her age... or, at least physical age.
Screwball never mentioned just what kind of creature she was before being pulled into her current form from her world, nor her actual age.
This letter is mainly to inform you of her existence and that, despite her having Chaos Magic, seems to be using it for good... or at the very least, minor pranks as opposed to trying to turn Equestria into the Chaos Capital of the world, like Discord did.
I will keep you informed of events pertaining to her, as well as any more lessons in friendship I gain.
Your ever faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
Celestia remained motionless for several moments as she processed the meaning of the letter she had just read.
There was another creature with Chaos Magic, like Discord, but who wasn’t using it for evil. She was just trying to live her life.
She frowned, thinking. Could it be possible that such a thing could happen? True, before Discord went about trying to turn Equestria into his own little playpen of chaos, she had hoped he would use his powers for good, but was it really a possibility that one with such powers could harness them for good?
After several moments, she nodded, before levitating a blank scroll and began writing on it. If Screwball could prove to be trustworthy with her Chaos Magic, something she would get Twilight and her friends to observe over the course of time, she might just be able to get Discord to use his own powers for good... and maybe finally get her best friend that was not her sister back.
Crusaders Call Chaos and— Oh, Buck! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
As the bell signals the end of class and the start of recess I move to leave with the rest of the fillies and colts, before I notice they’ve all gathered around my desk.
I roll my eyes. “If you wanna ask questions, meet me outside by the playground.”
I poof away, reappearing by a pair of swings. I look them over. They look in pretty good condition. Then again, the last time I took notice was after Pipsqueak used the TV show art of exposition to bring continuity by mentioning the playground was destroyed during Twilight’s yet to happen battle with Tirek, so it would make sense the playground was in good condish.
Come to think of it, just how did... or, does, I suppose, Twilight’s battle with Tirek end up ruining the playground equipment, yet the school remains intact?
I shake my head. Questions for another time.
I turn to see the students all making their way out, looking around, spotting me and making a beeline right for my location.
Not too far off, the CMC are hanging back, watching me getting grilled with questions.
“Dang,” Apple Bloom says, frowning. “Ah was hoping to ask Screwball some things mahself.”
“Doesn’t look like we’ll get the chance,” Sweetie Belle sighs, as they turn towards the tree they normally sit under.
“I was gonna ask if her chaos powers could make me fly,” Scootaloo said, lifting one of her wings and looking at it as they trudged along. “Or maybe she could give us out Cutie Marks like that,” she flicked her tail for emphasis.
“Well, I wouldn’t do that to you, Scoots, without giving your wings a good once over,” I say simply. “Besides, in regards to your Cutie Marks, there are some things I’m not allowed to do, and just giving you your Cutie Marks is one of them.”
The three fillies sigh.
“Yeah,” Bloom nods as we reach the tree. “Ah guess that makes sense and—”
They all freeze and whirl around to see me.
I smile and wave. “Hi.”
They look from me, over to the group of fillies and colts, where I’m still answering question, then back to me, back to the group, back to me and so on for about a minute, until they get dizzy and drop to the ground, each doing a good impression of everyone’s favourite mailpony.
Apple Bloom’s the first to recover enough to ask the obvious question. “If yer over there, how are ya over here?” she asks groggily, waving a wobbly hoof in the group’s direction, then pointing it at me.
I roll my eyes. “I told you all I have Chaos Magic, remember? With it, I can answer their questions,” I indicate to the group where the other me is smiling as she answers a question posed by the colt who’s teeth make him look like he’s related to Hayseed Turnip Truck, “and still talk with you three at the same time.”
They each get up, looking uncertain. “Doesn’t that get confusing for you?” Sweetie Belle asks, cocking her head.
I shake my head and point to my noggin. “I’m a being of chaos. My head’s already full of stuff nopony would really have going on up here, not even the princesses. Trust me, this is nothing compared to trying to sort through all the other stuff in here.”
They look at each other, before nodding slowly.
After a few minutes, Scootaloo frowns. “Wait. You said you there are some things you can’t do? I thought you’re like Discord, and he can do anything.”
I frown slightly. Does what she just said count as stereo-typing? I inwardly shake it off, and outwardly shake my head slowly.
“No, Scootaloo. He can’t, and neither can I.”
“Huh?” they all say in unison, looking to each other, then to me.
I sigh, sitting down and indicate for them to do the same. “Okay. Before I explain, you all have to Pinkie Promise nopony else, and I mean nopony ever, not even your grandchildren when you’re all Granny’s Smith’s age or older, will hear this. You won't even write it in diaries, for those of you that have them. Got it.”
The three fillies went through the motions, their eyes widening on completion of the Pinkie Promise just what they’ve done.
I nod. Now, I have my reasons for making them Pinkie Promise, one being to keep Discord from kicking my ass for blabbing when the Mane 6 let him out in I think a couple months. Last thing I need is what I’m about to say being printed in the Foal Free Press during the Ponyville Confidential thing.
“Okay,” I nod, glancing around to make sure nopony else is nearby or close enough to hear. “Discord and I both have rules we have to follow.”
At once, they all raised an eyebrow.
“Rules?” Scootaloo waves a hoof towards the sky. “He made cotton candy clouds that spilled chocolate milk. What kinda rules is he following for that?”
I sigh, shaking my head. “That’s not what I mean, Scootaloo. You see, there are things Discord and I cannot do, even if we wanted to. For example,” my face and heart droop as I look over to Apple Bloom. “I know what you really wanna ask me, Apple Bloom, but I can’t. I can’t bring your parents back. It’s one of the most important rules Discord and I have to follow. Our powers are near infinite with their possibilities, but we cannot ever bring the dead back. Believe me, Discord wishes he could.” At the curious frown, I look up to the sky. “I know what Discord’s life was like before he tried to take over Equestria the first time. He lost several ponies he cared deeply about and learned too late you can’t bring back the dead.”
Silence falls between the four of us for some time, only broken by Apple Bloom sniffling as she wipes her eyes.
After some time, I clear my throat. “So... any plans for Cutie Mark crusades today?”
I realize too late what I’ve said and regret my words the moment they leave my lips, because they each look to each other, before looking to me with big grins.
“Now how in the hay did that even happen?” Apple Bloom asks as we stagger through the fields of apples trees, all glued together with tree sap.
A little interesting note: Tree sap from one particular tree in White Tail Wood is somehow immune to the effects of Chaos Magic. It is also the very tree who’s sap we are now all covered in. I’d quickly checked and, thankfully, there were no more such trees. I still had to make the CMC Pinkie Promise to keep that to themselves too, though, just in case. Last thing I need is anyone learning how to cancel out my powers. Sure, it sounds like a good safety measure in theory, but it would only take one pony will ill intent, say, randomly thinking here, Spoiled Rich, finding out to make it a nightmare.
Thankfully, as wrong as it may sound, that tree is no more, knocked over when we all crashed into it and crushed to splinters due to what the crusaders had been trying to get their Cutie Marks. Still, better not to let Spoiled learn about it. With her resources, she might just find one other and try to mass-produce it just to try and tame me.
We reach the hose and wash ourselves off.
“At least we got away from that Hydra,” Scootaloo says, shaking herself off once she’s free and clean of sap.
I glare at her. “Well, I told you bringing it over from the swamp was a stupid idea, but did any of you listen to me? No. I’m a being of chaos. If I say trying to clean the teeth of a four-headed beast that thinks ponies are a tasty treat is a bad idea, then it’s a bad idea.”
“Yeah,” Bloom nods. “Guess it weren’t the best idea we ever had.”
I struggle not to comment.
“Oh, Screwball. Glad ah found ya,” we look up as we finish cleaning off to see Applejack walking towards us. “Yer dad came by a while ago asking ’boucha. Yer sister’s just gotten outta the hospital and he wants ya back home.”
We all groan. Really? I have to leave the CMC to go see if the sister who treats me like an insect is alright?
I sigh, nodding. “Okay. Thanks, AJ.”
She nods, before looking to the others, before a startled look enters her eyes. “Wait. Ya’ll didn’t bring Screwball on yer crusading, did ya?”
“Yeah,” Sweetie nods, then shrugs. “Seems brushing hydra teeth isn’t our special talent.”
Applejack’s eyes go wide and she turns to me.
I hold up my hooves and float a little into the air. “Hey, don’t look at me. I don’t know how they convinced me to do that either. But I promise it won’t happen again.” And that's a promise I very much intend to keep.
Seriously, how the hell did they convince me to do that? I still don’t understand it myself.
With a reluctant nod, Applejack turns her attention to the crusaders and I hear her start to lecture them as I teleport away, back home.
“Oh, your sister’s out sick?” Miss Cheerilee asked Diamond Tiara as the filly handed over a note, though looking as if she didn’t care.
Tiara scoffed. “Whatever. Said her stomach was hurting, so Daddy said she could stay home. She’s just playing hooky.”
Miss Cheerilee frowned. “Tiara, your sister could actually be sick. Just because she has chaos powers, it doesn’t mean she could stop herself from getting sick.”
Tiara didn’t pay attention to the worried looks the Blank Flank Crusaders exchanged.
“Whatever. Serves her right,” she turned and walked towards her desk. “She put me in the hospital, it’s only right she ends up sick herself.”
Miss Cheerilee nodded uncertainly, before looking out to the class. “Okay, everypony. Today we have the Student Pony President Election between Diamond Tiara and Twist. Have you all considered your vote?”
Uncertain murmuring went throughout the class.
“Okay, then,” Miss Cheerilee said, moving towards the door. “Everypony out and get ready to cast your vote.”
Diamond Tiara just smirked, nodding to Silver Spoon, who nodded back. She was going to win. There was no question about it.
I groan as I lay on my bed, not in pain, but boredom.
Last night when I got home, it was to the usual belittling and being told I’m a chaos beast by Spoiled, with Diamond actually agreeing with her, not knowing she’d have been fine had Spoiled simply not gotten the filly’s stomach pumped.
I didn’t even bother explaining that, not with Spoiled there. Thankfully, Daddy managed to keep the situation under control and I simply went to bed without supper (Spoiled’s punishment that Daddy reluctantly agreed to). Not that it mattered, I just went human and had myself some KFC.
By the way, in case you’re wondering, when I say, I went human, I don’t mean I turned into an Equestria Girls version of myself, but a real human version, like the kind in those Human Equestria fics.
Well, when I woke up, I overheard something downstairs that made me recheck my calender as to when in the show I’d arrived, my digital timer saying “Tiara’s Redemption Is Not Today”.
I could overhear Spoiled telling Diamond that she’s expected to win the Student Pony President Election today.
I have to blink, before my mouth opens in a small O.
This is the time Tiara won the election before, the one mentioned in the episode where, instead of just getting a window Discord destroyed during his time out of stone fixed like Twist suggested, after Diamond wins, it’s turned into a mosaic, like the ones showing the Mane 6 after they beat Nightmare Moon and Discord.
After learning that, I’d quickly made my body hotter and when Randolph had come in to check why I wasn’t up, he’d informed Daddy and Spoiled, the latter of whom assumed I was faking (for once, she was in the right there), Tiara joining her mother’s side.
However, Daddy was convinced (I made a very convincing performance) that I am sick, so I was told I could stay home and Diamond would take a note to Miss Cheerilee, letting her know I wouldn’t be in today.
So, here I am, stuck in my room, bored out of my mind.
It sucks, because I need to make sure I don’t interfere with this event. It needs to happen, so that Tiara can reference it on the day Pip gets elected.
I groan, rolling onto my side. What the heck am I meant to do now?
It’s only been a couple minutes since Tiara left for school and I was left alone “to rest” and I’m already so bored I want to go against my original plan and just go to school and risk altering the timeline.
“What I am going to do?” I groan, leaning over the side of my bed. “I’m so bored. But, I can’t just go out. Sure, I could teleport and maybe spend my day exploring some other place here in Equestrtia, like Appleloosa, or Trottingham, Cloudsdale... but there’s a chance somepony who knows either Daddy or Bitch will see me and ask them about it.” I put my hooves over my face. “Last thing I need is having to explain to them why I lied about being sick so I didn’t go to school so an event to put Tiara on the right path will play out, let alone how I know of this event. Man, if I were in the Equestria Girls world I could at least explore there without worry of being found out. Sure, I’d have to watch out for Sunset Shimmer, but I could avoid her.” I pout, rolling onto my back. “Not that it matters. The portal’s closed and gonna stay closed for a long while. Hell, it isn’t even gonna be opened permanently until after Twilight beats Tirek.”
You know, you can still go there.
I look up to see a ghostly version of the human me, leaning against the wall, giving me a bored look.
“What are you talking about?” I grumble, sitting up and propping my chin up with a hoof.
You’ve been there before, remember? glancing to the door I see the anthro me laying on the floor, looking up at the ceiling, her hands behind her head. When you first got here, remember? You accidentally went there after failing to go home.
Now, I’m sure a part of you is wondering just why the hell I’ve got two other versions of me, humanoid ones at that, chatting with me.
Well, have you read or watched the radio play Bride of Discord? If so, it’s kinda what Discord was doing there, only I’m doing it just out of sheer boredom and the need to talk to at least someone, as opposed to having no one to talk to whatsoever.
It sure does give a new meaning to the phrase “talking to yourself”.
I sigh, before shaking my head and smiling. “You’re right. Been meaning to go there and check the place out anyway. ... Should probably not let Twi know I did this, huh?”
They shrug, saying in unison, When the portal’s open, will it really mater? and they disappear.
Grinning I turn to my bed and create a double of myself. She’ll act sick like I led my family believe I am until I return.
With that taken care of, I grin and blink out of the universe.
The CMC pout as they watch Diamond give her long-winded, snobby victory speech, whilst they stayed near Twist, giving their condolences for her lost. After all, they’d voted for her.
However, once again it seemed Diamond Tiara had won.
Once Diamond finally finished talking, several mover ponies arrived, bringing with them a stained-glass window.
It depicted Diamond Tiara standing on a small hill with a determined expression on her face, with the sun shining behind her as a backdrop. It also gave Diamond Tiara’s skin the appearance of crystal, as if it was meant to convey that Diamond’s skin was glowing like her first name’s sake did when hit by light.
“Much better than simply fixing it like an ordinary window, don’t you agree?” Tiara bragged, standing in front of the window in the same pose she was portrayed as.
“Ah dunno if Screwball’s really sick, but if’n she lied about it, Ah have a feelin’ Ah know why,” Apple Bloom scowled at the pink Earth Pony.
Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah. If I had to live with a sister that obnoxious I’d get a stomach ache too. Heh. Maybe that’s what got her sick in the first place.”
The four fillies shared a giggle at that, glad to be able to take their minds of Twist’s loss and Diamond’s rubbing it in.
As the light around me fades, I took a look at where I’ve come out. I’m in a large park with a lot of plants.
“Ha!” I grin, folding my arms. “Knew I’d...” My face turns bright red as I look down at myself, having noticed the feeling of my arms touching bare skin, before I eep and move my hands to cover my privates and chest.
What the hell? I’m nude! Why the hell am I nude?! Twilight never came here nude, she was always wearing clothes when she went through the—
I groan and would facehoof—palm, if I wasn’t covering myself.
I didn’t use the portal. There must be a spell on it that gives any nude creature that comes here through it clothing.
Looking around, I see a few other people walking through the park.
“Oh, hell no,” I growl, snapping my fingers, disappearing and reappearing behind some bushes. “I am not getting caught in the buff.”
I blink, realizing something and look down at my hands. I... I just snapped my fingers. I’ve never been able to make the snapping sound before, but in the real world. I tried for years, but it never worked for me.
Wow. Didn’t you ever think about how your human and anthro selves could do it?
Glancing up I see a pony version of me floating above my head.
I shrug. “Never really thought about it, til now.” I shake my head. “Okay, first, I need a wardrobe change.”
I snap my fingers— man, it’s so cool I can make the snapping sound now— a full-length body mirror appearing before me.
I take a good look at myself. I’m a young girl, about ten or eleven, I can’t really guess from looking, but I’m guessing I’m around the same physical age as the CMC in this world. My skin’s pink, like my fur back in Equestria and my hair is a little shorter than it is back there.
I lift my hands and hold them over my chest, frowning slightly. I know I’m a pre-teen, but I feel weird being in this female body without the boobs.
I shrug, putting that thought aside. I can give myself boobs whenever I want, but it wouldn’t help me fit in around here and I’d stand out like a sore thumb.
“Okay,” I say, looking at myself in the floating mirror, one hand on my chin in thought. “Gotta give myself a good look. Hmm. Let’s try this.”
I snap my fingers and I’m suddenly wearing a sleeveless light-purple top with blue stripes along the chest and just above the ending of the shirt, a purple short-skirt with my Cutie Mark over a pair of blue shorts and purple socks over knee-high white boots, like Twilight’s in the movies, with purple on the bottom of the boots.
I look to the pony me floating above me. “Whatcha think?”
She lowers down, looking me over, before shaking her head.
I shrug and turn back to the mirror, snapping my fingers again. Now I’m wearing a pink T-shirt with my Cutie Mark on my chest, a blue skirt with shoulder straps, like the ones Misty wears in the Pokémon Anime, knee-high dark-blue socks with purple patterns and white sneakers.
I look to pony me. “Now?”
She frowns, rubbing her chin with a hoof. Better, but... maybe something else first, before you decide?
I nod, snapping my fingers, my attire changing again, though not by much. Now I’m just wearing a sleeveless pink shirt, a green skirt with black and white stripes patterns and pink socks and sneakers.
“Hmm,” I frown, looking myself over. “Nah.”
Another snap of my fingers and I shift looks once again. This time I’m wearing a yellow T-shirt under pink dress with button straps that go around my neck and yellow socks under green shoes.
The pony me sqees. You look so cute!
I look at myself and can’t help smirking. “Yeah, I do. But,” I sigh, snapping my fingers, “I don’t think that’s the kinda cute that’ll work for me right now.”
My clothes change again, this time becoming a simple white T-shirt, a purple skirt with my Cutie Mark on it and white socks under black shoes.
I glance at my reflection before looking to my pony self. We both stick out our tongues making “bleah” sounds. This is nice, but it’s too plain and I snap my fingers again.
This time I’m wearing a long-sleeve pink shirt with purple stripes down the arms and my Cutie Mark at the bottom-left end of the shirt, a pair of blue jeans and white sneakers.
I glance from my reflection to pony me. She frowns, looking me over. Not bad, not bad. Might come back to this one. Any other ideas though, just in case?
I shrug, snapping my fingers.
Now I’m wearing a top with nothing covering my shoulder and revealing my navel, a pair of light-blue jeans with the legs rolled up to just bellow my knees and the same sneakers and socks as before.
Meh, pony me says, waving her hoof the way a human does for the “so-so” expression. S’alright, but maybe one more?
I nod, snapping my fingers once again. This time I’m wearing a pink tank-top with my Cutie Mark on the front, a dark-purple skirt, pink and purple striped tights and purple shoes, a pink glove that reaches to above my elbow and has no finger on my left, along with a purple rounded bracelet and the same but with the opposite colour scheme on my right.
I look to my pony self. “Well, how about this?” I ask, doing a twirl.
She smiles, clapping her hooves. Oh, yes. That is definitely a good look for this you. Well done, m’lay. Well done, indeed.
I bow at the sound of applause, saying, “Thank you. Thank you. You’re too kind.”
She stops, frowning. Hey. You realize you can still use your powers here, right?
I fold my arms. “Well, yeah. I wouldn’t have been able to get back to Equestria the first time if I didn’t. Must be being a being of chaos thing. Same rules about magic in a world without magic don’t apply to me.”
Definitely better keep that knowledge away from Twilight, she says, thinking. If she knows about your being able to use Chaos Magic in this world, when she’s kinda striped of it in her own human form, that could become a problem if she asks for your help.
I shrug. “I’ll just tell her what I told the CMC. I can’t interfere with certain events in time. She’ll understand. After all, she tried to do the same, remember?”
She nods. Alright. Guess I’ll leave you to have your fun. Any idea where you’re gonna go first?
I frown, rubbing my chin in thought, before grinning. “There are three certain girls who deserve a piece of my mind.”
“Another snack,” Aria grumbled as she and the other two sirens moved through the streets. “I’m sick of snacking!”
“How many times must I repeat myself, Aria?” Adagio sighed in exasperation. “There isn’t any magic in this world. We can only gain so much.”
“But I’m starving!” Aria growled, stomping her foot. “We haven’t had a decent meal since we were banished to this stupid place!”
“Well, complaining about it isn’t going to fix things!” the other siren-turned-human shot back.
“If you’re hungry, why not get some food?” they both glanced at the blue human, who was happily munching on a taco from a nearby taco stand.
They both slapped their faces with their hands.
“Wow. And here I thought you three would be doing something other than bickering and thinking down on Sonata.”
They all blinked, looking around for the source of the voice.
“Up here~” it sang in a sing-song voice.
They all looked up, only to take a step back, gaping, Sonata so shocked she dropped her taco.
Floating in the air was a girl with pink skin, long, messy-curly purple and white hair and eyes that had purple spirals for pupils, wearing a pink tank-top with a baseball and a screw on the front, a dark-purple skirt, pink and purple striped tights and purple shoes, a pink glove that reaches to above her elbow and has no finger on the left, along with a purple rounded bracelet and the same but with the opposite colour scheme on her right.
However, it was the fact that the girl was floating that really had their attention.
“What?” Aria gaped up at the little girl. “How...? How is she doing that?”
Adagio, however, regained her calm and folded her eyes, smirking up at the girl. “Nice try, little girl.” She then looked to her siren sisters. “Humans don’t have real magic, remember? She’s obviously using cables or something like that.”
The girl just smirked. “Oh? Cables, huh? Well, can cables do this?” she snapped her fingers.
Suddenly, Sonata was holding her taco again, it looking like she’d never dropped it.
All three girls looked to each other, the taco, then up at the girl.
“That... that was...” Aria said, her eyes wide with shock.
“Magic!” Adagio growled, before sneering. “Come on, girls. Now’s our chance.”
At once, they began to sang their wordless song, the when they tended to always use when just trying to get more power, as putting any words to a song was more draining.
However, even after a minute of their singing, no green mist appeared from the girl. She just floated in the air, one leg crossed over the other, her arms behind her head, grinning.
“What?” Adagio growled when they finally realized their song wasn’t having any effect on the girl. “What’s going on? Why aren’t you being affected by our magic?”
The girl just burst out laughing. “Yeah. Sorry to disappoint, sirens, but I’m immune to your music spell.”
Their eyes widened. How did this girl know what they used to be?
“How do you know we’re sirens?!” Aria snarled, holding up a fist.
The girl just rolled her eyes. “Really? Is it that hard for you three to figure out? Well, I guess with Sonata that’d be understandable, but you two?” she indicated to Aria and Adagio. “I really thought you’d have figured out why I’ve magic that works and is immune to you guys.”
She snapped her fingers and a chocolate milkshake appeared in her hand, which she then started drinking.
Adagio studied the girl. A being immune to other magic, who can use magic in a world without it? It sounds so beyond reason. If such a thing were known, the chaos it would create would...
Her thoughts trailed off as her eyes widened and she pointed up at the girl. “You’re Discord, the Lord of Chaos!”
The girl finished her drink and tossed it away, the empty glass turning into butterflies that fluttered away and she shrugged. “Sorta yes, sorta no, Dagi.”
“What does that mean?” Sonata cocked her head, confused.
The girl disappeared, only for both Adagio and Aria to yelp as they felt a finger trail down their backs. Whirling around, they saw the girl smiling and giggling. They lunged for her, but when their hands made contact, she turned to smoke.
“Whoopsie.”
Both girls yelped as their clothes just vanished and they moved to cover themselves up.
Meanwhile, the girl was floating in the air again, rolling around as she laughed.
“Oh, this is priceless. I get to pick on the bad guys and they can’t do a thing!” she went back to laughing, tears streaming from her eyes.
“Why you little—” Aria began, whirling around, leaping up to punch the girl.
However, the moment she was in the air, the girl grinned and Aria found herself frozen in place.
“You know, I’ve always wonder how a girl feels that isn’t me,” Aria whimpered as she felt the girls hands moving down her now nude and vulnerable body. “But, maybe some other time.”
With a yelp, Aria drop and landed on the concrete ground with a thud.
The girl roared with laughter. “The look on your face,” she cackled, holding her sides. “So much for big, tough Aria, huh?”
“But, you’ve still got magic!” Adagio stammered angrily, pointing a finger up at the girl whilst still trying to cover herself up as best she could. “Even if you’re like Discord, you should have Equestrian Magic! You’re from Equestria!”
The girls stopped her laughing and shrug. “Meh. I may be from Equestria, but that doesn’t mean I’ve got Equestrian Magic. Chaos Magic’s my thing. Besides, not like I need to worry about you, seeing as what’s gonna happen.”
They all gulped. “Wh-what do you mean?” Sonata shuddered.
The girl just shrugged. “Just that I know what’s going to happen to you in...” she paused, reaching into her skirt pocket and pulling out a stopwatch. “Ah, yeah, that time. Though, telling you know would probably not be a good idea. You’ll need to find that out for yourselves.”
Adagio glared up at the girl. “If you know something, then you’ll tell us!”
The girl just put her hands on her hips, smirking. “Or what?”
Adagio paused, before growling.
The girl smirked. “I thought so.” She snapped her fingers and was gone.
The two naked Sirens growled.
“Yeah, good riddance,” Aria grumbled, getting up, shoving Sonata away when she tried to help. “She’s lucky she left or else...”
“Or else what, Aria?” Adagio growled, rolling her eyes as she went over and helped Sonata up. “What could you have done to her?”
Aria just growled. “Well, since she did that to me, I’d go further. Not like she’d have the balls to do worse.”
“Oh, you wanna bet?”
They all stiffened as they just felt the girl behind them all, chills going down their spines.
“So, you think I’m a pushover, huh?” her voice sounded deeper. “Well, if you’re so eager, how about I show you just what a Being of Chaos can do?”
Their screams were cut off as they were all teleported away.
I yawn, stretching as I step out of the apartment I’d spent the night in and look over my shoulder, grinning. When the Sirens wake up, they’ll find they can leave the room, their clothes lying at the front door and will no doubt never speak of that wild night ever again. They also won't remember my appearance, instead remembering a girl with black skin and purple hair. I checked adn there's no one like that anywhere near Canterlot or beyond, so it's all good.
As for just what I did with them last night? Well, let’s just say three beings who lived most of their lives being able to fly, suddenly finding themselves several hundreds of feet in the air and falling, only to be teleported up to the original height again and continue at that for several hours... plus, they were all in the buff. Sonata even seemed to be having fun towards the end of it.
Snickering, I float up into the air and zoom through the sky.
Now that I’ve had my fun with the Dazzlings, I’ve other thing to do. For starters, I’m curious about something.
A projection of a holographic screen comes out from the band on my left wrist. “Diamond Tiara,” I say and a pink do appears on a schematic of Canterlot and the nearby towns, including, wouldn’t you guess it, Ponyville.
Nodding, I shoot through the sky, following the directions. Within minutes I’m above a mansion that looks very similar to my home in Ponyville back in Equestria.
Snapping my fingers, I become invisible and float down through the roofing, finding myself in a large dinner room, which has a fine oak table in the centre.
Seated at this table is a man with lightish-brown skin, wearing a back suite and a tie, with a trio of money bags as a patch in the left-breast corner of the suite. I can't help frowning, getting a bit of a strangely bad vibe from him.
To his left is a girl with pink skin, purple and white hair with a tiara-shaped hairclip, wearing a black shirt underneath a yellow jacket and a white skirt, underneath which I could see she was wearing black briefs or shortie panties, I never learned what the names for them were, having not been female til I ended up in Equestria, white (I think) sock and knee-high boots. She looks a bit younger than she did it the first movie, so maybe I’m earlier here than I first thought.
I can’t help frowning at her footwear, though. What is it with the girls in this world and wearing knee-high boots?
And, finally, the third person at the table is a woman with pink skin, wearing a long cyan dress with a belt area that looks like a yellow band covered in diamonds, as well as wearing a bracelet on her right wrist with a similar fashion and a necklace of the same design around her neck, and I notice a earring-shaped buckle on her belt that matches Spoiled Rich’s Cutie Mark.
Man, I thought Spoiled looked weird as a pony, but as a human, she looks quite nice, strangely enough.
Diamond finishes her food, before getting up, a man with purplish-grey skin, slightly bald, with white hair and blue eyes, wearing a suite, with a pin in the shape of a feather duster on the collar of his suite, comes over, holding out her bag, which she takes, wishes her parents a good day, then heads out.
I watch her go, before the sound of another chair being moved turns my attention to the human version of the bitch. “Well, dear. I’ll be off. I have some errands to run before I get to the school. We need to finalize a few of the events for the upcoming Friendship Games between Canterlot High and Crystal Prep.”
“Very well,” Daddy says absentmindedly, waving a hand. “See you later, dear.”
Human Spoiled nods, before leaving, informing Randolph of several things that will be needing attending to throughout the day. Frowning, I glance from her to Daddy. Why do I have this weird feeling?
Spoiled seems to be acting... nice, whilst Daddy seems... distant. What's going on around here?
I hover around for a while as Daddy goes over some stuff on his laptop. Looking over his shoulder I can make out something to do with a place called Camp Everfree. I'll have to remember to check that out at some point.
After a few more minutes, I get bored and decide to see how I can mess with Spoiled. I focus on where she is and teleport to her location... only for my heart to stop.
I’ve arrived in a small room with padded walls. Sitting at a small table are Spoiled... and a girl I hadn’t considered running into here.
It’s... it’s me, the Screwball... well, I guess, since Discord never got to her, Lilac of this world.
Her eyes are normal with purple irises around normal pupils, but blank, just like mine had been before Discord got to me. Her hair is long and flat, no bounce to it at all. All she’s wearing is a white smock. She just sits at the table, looking down at her lap, whilst Spoiled holds her gently, stroking her hair.
I can’t help but move closer and take a seat on the opposite side of the table, directly facing my double, but also finding my eyes being drawn to the human I'd honestly expected to hate.
As I sit, I can swear my double's blank eyes glance in my direction and I freeze as she looks at me, before her eyes return to their original position and all goes quiet.
Spoiled remains there for several hours. When she gets up to leave, she gently lifts the motionless girl up and carries her over to a blanket and pillow which I guess works as her bedding in this room.
I wait silently, watching as she stroke’s her daughter’s cheek, before whispering something and gets up and walks out, the door closing behind her.
I just sit, shocked as I try to process what I've just seen. Spoiled... was being a loving mother to the me of this world. But... how? Why? What's...?
After some time has passed, I move over to Lilac and sit down. She has her back to me and I think she’s fallen asleep.
I sigh. “Sorry I can’t help you, Lilac. But... I honestly wouldn’t know where to start. Maybe... maybe, after he’s released, I can convince Discord to come here with me. He might be able to do something for you.”
With that I teleport out, finding myself standing on the roof of a hospital.
I sit down, just thinking. I hadn’t even thought about the me of this world. Unlike me, she’s still like she was before, though I think she’s a bit better than I was, to be honest. She actually responded to my presence, meaning she must have sensed me or something. At least she has a loving mother, something I'm envious of her for.
After a few minutes of wallowing in pity for the other me, I sigh, shaking my head and smile, holding out my band and a holographic image of the map appearing again.
“Okay, time to find this world’s Sunset Shimmer.”
At once, Canterlot High blips and I frown.
“The human Sunset Shimmer, not the pony-turned human one,” I say, face-palming. “Look for a Sunset Shimmer without K type blood, okay? I’m looking for a Sunset Shimmer without horse blood. Sheesh.”
I wait a few minutes for the scan to work, before I get a signal... which causes me to frown.
“That can’t be right,” I try again and get the same result. “According to this, the human Sunset Shimmer is in... the Amarezon Jungle? What the hay is she doing there?” I wait a bit, before sighing and scratch the back of my head. “Okay, first, I need answers. Why would Sunset’s signal appear in the forest?”
At once the image changes to a newspaper chipping, it looks a few years old and, checking the day, yeah, it is.
According to the article, Sunset and her family went on a trip to the Amarezon for a vacation... and went missing.
Suddenly the image changes again to show an image of the Sunset Shimmer I know from the movies, though younger, maybe a bit younger than the her in the first picture in Principal Celestia’s office, wearing a shirt much like her usual one and a pink skirt, a brown towel wrapped around her.
“It says here that Sunset was found wandering the city, with no clue where she was and barely able to walk or even understand how to use her own body,” I say, going over the report. “When asked where her parents were, she said she had no idea and then asked why they’d want to know.”
I sigh, folding my arms. “Well, I guess that makes sense then. This world’s Sunset went missing years ago and then Pony Sunset came, being about the same age this world’s Sunset should be and went along with it.”
I sigh, scratching my head.
“Well, that was a bit depressing.” I look up at the sky. “Maybe I’ll just check on the girls at CHS. Maybe I’ll find something to do before I head back... after I find out where Sunset is.”
I look around as the teleport ends. I'm stand above a raging waterfall.
"That doesn't bode well," I murmur, levitating into the air and gently lowering down, following Sunset's signal.
I move along the the water, frowning as the signal gets closer, before it suddenly turns away from the river and into the trees. Changing course, I move away from the river and move into the trees, but stop a few metres in, looking around in confusion.
According to the readings, I'm right on top of Sunset.
I look around a bit more, before a chilling thought enters my mind.
Snapping my fingers, the scan changes... and I sigh, lowering my head. According to the readings, Sunset is in the ground, but not like she's buried in it, but as in she is the ground. She has decomposed to the point where she is now one with the soil itself.
i kneel down and place my hand on the soil. "Sorry, Sunset," I murmur.
I blink as I look around, wondering just where I’ve teleported to. I can see Canterlot High several blocks down, so I’m pretty close.
I suddenly notice the sun’s going down pretty soon.
I pout. “I should probably head back soon. Wouldn’t want Daddy to worry... or Spoiled to think I’ve run away. She’d probably like that.”
I get ready to snap my fingers, when I hear a cry.
Turning my head, I see someone running down one of the alleyways, turning into a dead end. They’re being chased by three guys.
Changing the destination of my teleport, I move closer, so that I’m floating above the alley.
I look closer, before my eyes widen. She looks a bit younger, but I only know one human in this world with that shade of pink hair, at that length and with three pink butterflies on her clothing. It’s Fluttershy.
“Please,’ she whimpers, turning around as the three boys, whom I now see are all from Crystal Prep thanks to their uniforms, move towards her. “W-why’re you doing this?”
“You’re CHS,” the first, a boy with white skin and black hair says, leering at her. “We gotta make sure you remember your place.”
The other two boys, one with orange skin and brown hair and the other blonde hair and grey skin, chuckle, moving along with their friend towards the trembling Fluttershy.
“Oh, you wanna mess with Fluttershy?” I growl, my hands glowing yellow. “Not if have anything to say about it.”
You can’t show yourself!
I glance to my right to see the pony me again. “Why?” I demand.
If they see you, Fluttershy will see you. and, if Fluttershy sees you and you end up going with Twilight to CHS— don’t give me that look, you know you will— then Fluttershy will recognize you when you’re with Twilight and do you really wanna open that can of worms?
I growl, before hurruphing. “But, I can’t just ignore this and let her get hurt by these dicks!” I hold a hand out to indicate the Crystal Prep boys, who’ve back Fluttershy against the wall.
The pony me smirks. You’re right. if only there was a mare to do well around here, hmm?
I blink, confused by her choice of words... before I look at them more closely and grin. That would work.
Fluttershy quivered as the boys came closer. Where was Rainbow Dash when you really needed her?
She shut her eyes, readying herself for whatever was about to be done to her.
“Hold it, boys.” Her eyes shot open at the unfamiliar voice, to see the boys had stopped and were looking around in confusion. “Up here, scum-buckets.”
The boys looked up, before moving away to avoid a figure hitting them. They were small, maybe around the age of Applejack and Rarity’s little sisters.
She was wearing a purple jumpsuit, with a collar at the neck and with a black belt around her waist, black gloves and black knee-high boots. On her head she wore a wide-rimmed purple hat, sort of like that Darkwing Duck character Rainbow Dash liked. Finally, along with a pendant on her neck that had a cyan M on it, the girl was wearing a black mask with blue eyes, completely hiding their identity.
Fluttershy stared at the person as that stood in front of her, blocking the boys from reaching her.
The lead boy grinned, stepping towards the girl, reaching a hand out. “This isn’t a time to be play dress-up as a hero, little girl,” he said, grabbing her shoulder.
The moment his hand touched the girl, she whirled around, landing a spin kick right at his jaw.
He went tumbling backwards, hitting the ground with a grunt.
The other two boys stared from the girl to their leader, before narrowing their eyes and charging.
The masked girl, crouched down, then leaped up, disappearing for a second. Suddenly, the two boys were knocked in several directions, before hitting the ground right by their leader.
The girl stood over them, her eyes narrowing.
They trembled, hurried to stand and fled, whimpering.
“And if you mess with anyone else from CHS, or who knows someone from CHS or even knows about CHS, there’s more where that came from!” she shouted, putting her hands on her hips and the boys ran out of the alley.
After some time had passed, the masked girl turned around and held out her hand. Fluttershy took it, accepting the help up.
“Um... th-thank you, um, Miss, er...?”
The masked girl just chuckled, putting her hands on her hips. “Just call me, the Mysterious Ma—dame Do Well, Miss. Just doing my job.”
With that, the Mysterious Madame Do Well leaped into the air, touching the wall, before pushing off, upwards, touching the other wall and repeating the process until she was over the roof and out of sight.
Fluttershy smiled, before hurrying out of the alleyway and back towards her home.
I smile as the Madame Do Well consume vanishes from me, revealing my normal clothed self. Glad I was able to think up a humanized version that makes sense for her.
I look up at the sky. “Whelp, I had fun. Felt good to teach those Crystal Prepers not to mess with CHS. Sure, they’ll probably still pull pranks and do stuff like deface the Wondercolts statue, but now they know not mess with the student themselves.”
With my piece done, I take a look around Canterlot Park, nod, then snap my fingers, to return to Equestria. Tomorrow’s Nightmare Night and I intend to enjoy it.
My Very First Nightmare Night. Guess Pip and I have Something in Common
I glance over my shoulder at the human, Equestria Girls (the only one who is dressed) and anthro me, all of whom are sitting on the furniture in my room, watching as I try to choose a costume to wear.
I’ve currently got my mane and tail in a smooth style, both tied into ponytails, coloured with pink, yellow and purple. I have wings on my sides and a horn on my head.
“What?” I frown, glancing over myself. “Filly Cadance. What’s wrong with that?”
The fact that Twilight doesn’t interact with Cadance until the wedding, the EG me says, stretching her arms back over her head. If you go out dressed as Cadance, she’ll get into contact with Cadance, and they might talk about the eventual wedding that’s coming up. Twilight’s not meant to know about it til the last minute.
I frown, before rolling my eyes. “Fine. How about this?” there’s a flash and suddenly I look like filly Celestia.
They look at each, before shaking their heads.
My frown deepens. Another flash and I look like Luna. Another shake and flash and I look like Nyx.
They all blink, before glancing at each other, before shrugging.
I roll my eyes. “Really?”
EG me shrugs. It would be unique.
I frown, thinking about it, before shaking my head. “I’m going as Woona.” There’s another flash and I’m back to being Luna, only, I’m a filly version of the one scene at the end of the second episode, all the way back in season one.
My mane and tail are slightly curled styled and coloured a greyish-blue. My coat is a slightly light-blue and, glancing in the mirror, my eyes have normal pupils, with cyan irises. On my flank is a splotch of black behind a white crescent moon.
I look to the other for their opinions, but they just fade away as they shrug.
I roll my eyes. Sure, messing around on Nightmare Night would be great; I’d certainly love to help Dash with her pranking tonight, but tonight is also Luna’s first Nightmare Night.
I wanna give her some extra reassurance that not all of Equestria still fears her. I know where I can and cannot interfere with the timeline in regards to this night, but it doesn’t mean I can’t both have a bit of fun and be a comfort to Luna and seeing somepony dressing as her for Nightmare Night should make her feel a bit better.
Not wanting to have to listen to Spoiled go on and on about how my costume should be better, aka, whatever she wants me to be, I teleport straight out of the mansion, appearing not too far from Twilight’s Library.
I can see a group of foals gathered around, Pipsqueak right at the back as Twilight gives the three fillies their candy.
Smirking, I trot over, listening as I hear Pip saying, “Pipsqueak the Pirate, at your service. It’s my very first Nightmare Night.”
I honestly pause, before shaking my head. Pip’s voice doens’t sound as off compared to his later appearance as I remember for this episode. But, I have to remind myself, this is the world of mlp itself. Some things that changed in the show are bound to either be different or not have happened at all. Pip’s voice sounding meh seems to be one of them. He sounds like the Pipsqueak from Crusaders of the Lost Mark.
“Since you moved here from Trottingham?” Twilight asks as I come closer.
“No,” Pip shakes his head. “My very first Nightmare Night ever!”
I honestly can’t help blinking as I watch Pinkie’s part play out. Seriously, I know I’m a being of chaos, but where was she before she leaps up like that? I’m right behind the group and I didn’t see her til she leaped up.
As the group turns to leave, I decide to speak up.
“So, this is your first Nightmare Night ever, too? Then we have something in common.”
The group pauses, before turning to look at me. I give a cute smile (hey, if I’m gonna dress as Luna’s cutest deviant, I may as well milk it for all it’s worth, right?) and wave.
They all blink, confusion settling on their faces.
“Uh, and who’re you, little one?” Granny Smith asks, her expression telling me she sees something familiar, but can’t remember what.
I keep my cute smile up. “I’m Woona.”
Granny Smith frowns in contemplation. “Ah don’t know no filly named Woona. Ya new around here?”
I roll my eyes. “Way to break the illusion of Nightmare Night, Granny Smith.”
“Oh, I get it,” Pip smiles, taking a step closer. “You wanna keep in character.”
I nod, closing my eyes to make my smile even more adorable. “Yep. So, can I come with you guys?”
“Sure!” Pinkie cheers, popping up behind me. To my credit, I only give a small flinch. “More ponies means more candy! Come on!”
So, I join the small group, ending up at the back as we move along.
As we walk, Pip slows down a bit to join me. “So, was what you said true? This is your first Nightmare as well?”
I nod. “Yeah. I... kinda never got to spend Nightmare Night out.”
He cocks his head. “Why? What happened?”
Hmm. Pip is pretty new to Ponyville, so he probably hasn’t heard about me yet.
Grinning, I look at him. “Well, I kinda was in hospital. But, I’m better now, so I can enjoy my first Nightmare Night. And I’m glad I get to spend it with you, Pip.”
Seeing as he pretty much led... no, will lead the CMC to the path that has them help Diamond come out of her shell and be herself, not the pony Spoiled wants her to be, and I’m glad I can interact with him.
I inwardly frown at the slight blush that forms on his face as I say that. What’s up with him?
We visit the Cake’s bakery... which confuses me, since I know they were out when Twilight’s walking through town. So, either they closed up and left to enjoy the festival after Pip’s group leaves or... I dunno.
After we get some cakes that remind me of Twinkies back home (not that I ever got to enjoy a Twinky before), we stop by Miss Cheerilee’s (who's dressed as a simple ghost, you know, the white sheet kind) place and get some more goodies, before she leaves her house to join the festival.
We have to wait before heading back towards the festival due to Granny Smith falling asleep in the middle of road. Seriously, that mare can fall asleep in the weirdest ways and times. Then we take her back to her farm so she can do that whole scary maze thing they did in season five... okay, my brain hurts trying to fit it all together sometimes.
As we walk after leaving Granny Smith behind, I spot Twilight and Spike a little away. I glance around, knowing what’s coming and, sure enough, as Pinkie confronts Twilight and talks about what we all did together, I see Dash dressed as a Shadowbolt and brining her black cloud closer.
I smirk. Kinda glad Dash is going to prank the others like that. It means I can move away from the group and join Twilight without seeming rude and, if asked why I didn’t go with them, I can simply say they ran so fast they left me behind.
Pinkie squawks when the lightning bolt blasts and flees, the other foals following after her.
As Twilight chastises Dash for her prank, I move over and just wait for the right moment.
Twilight levitates back onto her back and moves to leave.
“Ahem?”
She stops, looking around, before glancing down and spotting me. She blinks in confusion for a moment, before cocking an eyebrow. “Um...?”
I roll my eyes and float into the air, before a flash blinds her from behind and Spike sits up, sighing. “Phew. I can breathe again.”
She looks over her shoulder at Spike, then me, then Spike again, before comprehension dawns on her. “Screwball?” she asks uncertainly.
I grin, plopping back on the ground. “Got it.”
She cocks an eyebrow. “Where’re you dressed as...?” She looks me over, before looking more confused. “Are you... dressed as Princess Luna?”
I shake my head. “I’m Woona.”
She frowns. “Huh?”
I shrug. “It’s what I call the form she had right after you girls saved her with the Elements.”
She blinks a few times, before understanding dawns on her. “Oh. Right.”
I smirk. “Nice Starswirl the Bearded costume, by the way.”
She smiles. “Glad somepony around here knows her historical figures.”
Spike rolls his eyes. “Come on, let’s get back to the festival.”
“Mind if I tag along?” I ask, looking up at her with puppydog eyes. Combine these with Woona and there’s no escape.
Very quickly she relents. “Alright. But no pranking. We’ve got enough of that from Rainbow Dash tonight.”
I smile innocently and nod, before following her and Spike further into the celebrations.
Ponies do glance at me with odd expressions. Probably because they don’t know who I’m dressed as, but notice the wings and horn pretty easily.
We move over to Applejack at the Bobbing for Apples game, where I see Derpy and Carrot Top getting ready to give it a try, Derpy wearing that odd but cute paper bags costume and Carrot Top a devil costume.
A thought occurs to me. How did Derpy end up in the water in the first place?
Smirking, I use a little magic and teleport her inside the basket. Moments later, she pops out, holding a plug and chain that weren’t in the basket a second ago and the water drains out.
Applejack and Twilight blink in confusion, before Twilight looks to me with a slight frown. “Screwball?”
I smile at her innocently. “Yes, Twilight?”
Twilight’s next words are cut off by the cheers from the crowd by the stage as Mayor Mare begins her speech.
We walk over, Twilight seeming to forget about scolding me and we wait at the back, listening.
“Now, all the little ponies who have been out collecting sweets should follow our friend Zecora to hear the legend of... Nightmare Moon!” She then gives an what’s clearly meant to be a spooky laugh.
Spike puts a claw to his mouth. “Spooky voice might work better if she wasn't dressed like that.”
“Tell me about it,” I say, rolling my eyes.
Twilight just giggles.
Smoke burst upon the stage and Zecora appears through it, dressed in the creepy, yet beautiful way she was in the episode. “Follow me, and very soon, you'll hear the tale of Nightmare Moon.”
Twilight, Spike and I follow Zecora as she leads Pinkie and the other foals into the clearly where the Nightmare Moon statue is.
I can’t help smirking. I had a lot of time to think how I could help Zecora make this scarier and I know what I need to do. This is going to be fun.
“Listen close, my little dears, I'll tell you where you got your fears” she began, before moving close to several of the fillies, causing them to huddle “of Nightmare Night, so dark and scary.” She returns to the statue and blows on her green powder, sending it into the air, where it formed into Nightmare Moon’s visage. “Of Nightmare Moon, who makes you wary.”
The green apparition of Nightmare Moon flies down, bursting on the ground around everypony, causing them to gasp, though I just smirk, turning into a cloud of smoke and move amongst the green. Time to make Zecora’s plans work a little better than she’d intended.
“Every year, we put on a disguise, to save ourselves from her searching eyes,” she says, causing Pip and another filly to scream before running off, at which point she leaps out of smoke, smirking.
“But Nightmare Moon wants just one thing: to gobble up ponies in one quick swing!”
I smirk from within the smoke as Pipsqueak and Pinkie back into each other and scream.
The smoke Nightmare Moon goes around, making the effort of searching, whilst everypony wilts and look on in fear. “Hungrily, she soars the sky. If she sees nopony, she passes by. So if she comes and all is clear,” the smoke pony flies into the air and bursts, “Equestria is safe another year!”
Pipsqueak moves over to Zecora. “Uh, Miss Zecora, if we wear costumes to hide from Nightmare Moon, so she won't gobble us up, how come we still need to give her some of our candy?”
Heh, heh. Now my turn to play the part, Zecora.
“A perfect question, my little friend,” Zecora smiles to Pip, then smirks. “For Nightmare Moon you must not offend.” She blows on the dust, creating another smoke Nightmare Moon. “Fill up her belly with a treat or two, so she won't return to come eat you!”
As she finishes and the smoke Nightmare Moon explodes as it hits the ground, enveloping everypony, I zip through the smoke, flicking everypony in a way that feels like something bitting them. It yields the intended results.
Pinkie Pie screams, before rushing over to the statue and dumping all her candy at once. “Everypony! Just dump some candy and get out of here!”
A sudden thunderclap provides enough of a distraction that Twilight doesn’t notice me returning and taking on Woona’s form again as the wind starts whistling.
As the clouds circle until it looks like we’re in the eye of a cyclone, the moon flashes and a chariot with a scary night theme, being pulled by two Thestral stallions charges down through the skies.
I can’t help grinning. It looks a lot cooler seeing this in person than just watching it on the TV.
The chariot halts in midair.
Pinkie Pie gasps. “It's Nightmare Moon! Run!”
I watch the others, even Zecora, run off, staying by Twilight, before looking up at the cloaked figure on the chariot, smiling. Finally, I can meet Princess Luna.
I teleport myself and Twilight back into town just as the sky darkens and Princess Luna’s chariot stops in the air above the town.
Luna lowers down and lands, thrusting her head back, sending the hood down to reveal Luna’s face, which is followed by everypony dropping down, their hooves over their heads.
Twilight looks shocked, before a small smile comes to her face. “Princess Luna!”
However, we’re both pulled down by Spike, who indicates for us to shoosh, to which we both roll our eyes.
“CITIZENS OF PONYVILLE! WE HAVE GRACED YOUR TINY VILLAGE WITH OUR PRESENCE, SO THAT YOU MIGHT BEHOLD THE REAL PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT!”
I can’t help but wincing at the volume. Jeez. Hearing the Royal Canterlot Voice in person is a lot more painful on the eardrums than I thought it would be.
Princess Luna continues her speech, just as she did in the episode, until she gets to the part where she realizes that the ponies aren’t going to change from their prostrating. |Very well, then. Be that way. We won't even bother with the traditional royal farewell.”
With that she trots off, leaving everypony else to what they will.
Twilight gets up. “I'm gonna go talk to her.”
Spike grabs her cloak, holding her back. “You can't talk to her! She's Nightmare Moon!”
Twilight frowns at him. “No, she's not,” she pulls her cloak out of his grasp. “I saw the Elements of Harmony change her back to good. But it seems like she's having some trouble adjusting after being gone for a thousand years.”
We walk back towards the statue, finding Luna sitting within its shadow, pushing a piece of candy this way and that sadly.
“Princess Luna?” The Alicorn turns to look at us. “Hi, my name is –”
“Star Swirl the Bearded,” Luna interrupts her. “Commendable costume! Thou even got the bells right.
Twilight smiles. “Thank you! Finally! Somepony aside from Screwball who gets my costume!” I nudge her and she glances down, before I point to Luna, who’s wearing a slightly sad expression. “Uh, I just came to welcome you to our celebration! My actual name is –”
“Twilight Sparkle,” Luna says, before she floats up and I prepare myself as she booms in the RCV, causing me to actually have to grab Twilight’s cloak with my teeth to stop myself being blown away, even though she herself is being blown back. “II WAS THOU WHO UNLEASHED THE POWERS OF HARMONY UPON US AND TOOK AWAY OUR DARK POWERS!”
“And that was a good thing, right?” Twilight asks once we’re able to get our footing again.
“But of course,” Luna says, returning to her normal voice. “We could not be happier. Is that not clear?
Twilight wilts a little. “Well, you kinda sound like you're yelling at me.”
“But this is the traditional royal Canterlot voice!” Luna states matter-of-factly. “It is tradition to speak using the royal "we", and to use THIS MUCH VOLUME WHEN ADDRESSING OUR SUBJECTS!”
After that bout of force, Twilight readjusts her beard and hat. “You know, that might explain why your appearance was met with... mixed results. I think if you just changed your approach a bit, you might be met with a warmer reception.”
“CHANGE OUR APPROACH?”
Twilight points a hoof down. “Lower the volume?”
Luna blinks. “Ohhh. We have been locked away for a thousand years. We are... not sure we can.”
I come out from behind Twilight, smiling. “Don’t worry, Luna. We’ll help you.”
There’s a pause as Luna looks at me with confusion, blinking, before raising an eyebrow. “How is this filly dressed us we once were? We do not understand?”
I smirk, changing back to normal.
She jumps, taking a step back. “What is the meaning of this?”
Twilight sighs. “Princess Luna, meet Screwball, the only pony Discord did anything good for during his escape, unintentionally as it was.”
The Alicorn looks from Twilight to myself, then back to Twilight, before returning to me. “How dist though change thoust appearance? Thou art an Alicorn for true?”
I shake my head. “Discord gave me some Chaos Magic.”
At once she leaps into a defensive stance. “Chaos Magic? Thou art a servant of that monster?”
I roll my eyes. “If I were, do you really think you’d be speaking with me right now?”
Luna frowns, glancing to Twilight, who shrugs. “It’s true, Princess. Screwball may have powers the same as Discord, but she’s nothing like him.”
She looks suspiciously from Twilight to me, before giving a small nod. “We shalt give thee a chance. However, be warned, if ye break said chance, we shall not be so lenient.”
I nod, changing back to her Woona form.
She looks at me for a few moments, before blinking. “You... you would dress as we?”
I smile, nodding.
She blinks, before a small smile forms on her lips.
Sadly, things go pretty much as I expected. Despite our getting Luna to loosen up and then the town seeming to warm up to her, Luna puts a bit too much force into her words when saying Pip was wrong about her gobbling his hind quarters, causing the ponies in town to start becoming scared of her again.
And, it only gets worse when, like in the show, she turns the toy spiders into real ones.
I move to save one mare, whose name I’ve yet to catch, dressed as a bumble bee that the spiders go after.
I quickly teleport them away from her, dropping them into the water for the Bobbing for Apples basket.
Carrot Top screams as she tries getting a spider off her head, running off, which makes everypony else start running around screaming.
With all her running, it’s hard to get to Carrot and turn the spider back to normal. Though, as soon as I do, we’re both having to avoid a rolling pink and white... something roll.
“BE STILL!” Luna booms, lightning and thunder going off, her voice echoing in the night air, causing even me to flinch.
I sigh as Luna makes the announcement of how this will be the last Nightmare Night, before leaving.
After handling a bit of damage control, I follow after Twilight, who’s speaking with Luna on the bridge leading out of Ponyville.
“Leave me be, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna is saying as I come over.
“Princess, I'm sorry it hasn't worked out how we wanted,” she then smiles. “But you have to believe me when I tell you that Nightmare Night is one of the most popular celebrations we have.
“Yes. I can tell. By all the adoring shrieks of the children as they run away.” Did they have sarcasm a thousand years ago? If not, Luna’s picking up on it, fast.
“Princess...” Twilight murmurs as Luna moves to leave.
I frown, looking down, before turning to Twilight. “I’ve an idea. You bring Luna back into town whilst I set things up. If we can get Pinkie to understand, we can get everypony to understand.” Even though I know Pinkie’s just having fun.
Pinkie hurries into the alley, following the candy trail I left for her to follow.
The moment she’s close enough, Twilight rushes forward and pressing Pinkie against the wall, her hoof over the pink mare’s mouth. “No! No shrieking. No screaming or squealing either. Okay?”
Pinkie Pie give a muffled, “Okay,” through Twilight’s hoof, though the way her eyes go big almost make me hug her.
Twilight nods. “There's something I want you to see. And I promise that it's safe, but you really, really, really can't shriek. Do you promise not to shriek?”
Pinkie nods, saying, “Mm-hmm.”
Twilight steps back and Luna and I come into view, Pinkie’s eyes falling on Luna.
She begins making a squawking sound, but I quickly use my magic to move her hooves over her mouth, stopping the shriek.
Twilight indicates to the real Alicorn. “Pinkie Pie, you remember Princess Luna, right?”
Luna steps forward. “Ah. The ringleader of the frightened children. Hast thou come to make peace?”
Luna holds out her hoof, which Pinkie starts leaning towards to take, before a flash of lightning and thunder I briefly forgot about go off and she shrieks, “Nightmare Moon!” before giving a chicken squawk and running off, though I pause when I see she’s somehow... laid an egg?
Never mind. Problem for another time.
“Rainbow!” Twilight and I shout angrily, glaring up at the laughing mare.
Thankfully, just like in episode, we’re able to help Luna learn that everypony loves Nightmare Night and that it’s sometimes fun to be scared.
I hang around with Luna as she enjoys the games with eveyrpony, before I look up at the sky.
I nudge Luna, who looks down at me and I motion for her to lean in. She does and I whisper about getting even with Rainbow for her prank, to which she gives a small smirk.
I teleport us above the clearly, remaining invisible so she doesn’t see us as she creeps on Twilight. The moment she’s about to scare Twilight and Spike, we both make lightning and thunder come from the cloud we’re sitting on, scaring her and causing her to fly off.
We lower down and Luna winks at Twilight.
We share a laugh and I look up at the sky, smiling.
I return home several hours later to find Randolph dressed as a chained ghost and smirk, to which he smirks back.
“And what do you call this?” an arrogant voice says, making me roll my eyes. “Do you realize how late it is?”
“You do realize it’s Nightmare Night, don’t you?” I look over my shoulder at Spoiled who, big surprise since she hates fun, isn’t wearing a costume.
“Tiara was back hours ago,” she says, in a tone that tells me she’s saying I should be like Tiara. “Now, give any candy you acquired so I can dispose of it.”
I roll my eyes. I am not letting Spoiled spoil my good mood. “Whatever and no. You wanna take my candy away, you’ll have to find it. G’night, Randolph. Tell Daddy I said goodnight, kay?”
He nods and I teleport back to my room, return to normal, before flopping on the bed and going to sleep.
All things considered, this was a pretty good first Nightmare Night. Looking forward to next year. Might try something scarier to dress as.
We’re Sisters and We’re Gonna Have Fun, Got It? We’re Family. Your Family Matters
Tiara glares up at me after I pop into existence in her bedroom, floating just out of reach.
“What do you want?” she snarls.
Another popping sound is accompanied by a sheet of paper dropping down onto Tiara’s face.
She rips it away, before looking down at it, reading what’s on it and looking up at with a mixture of a confused and annoyed frown. “What is this?”
The paper she holds up is a flyer for the Sister Hooves Social, happening tomorrow.
I smirk. “A flyer for the Sister Hooves Social.”
She narrows her eyes, tossing it at me, though it turns into a puff of smoke and brushes off me. “I know that! Why are you showing it to me?!”
“I thought that would be obvious,” I say, floating down until I’m standing on her bed, facing her. “We’re sisters, so I thought we should take part.”
She snorts. “You expect me to join those commoners and Blank Flanks in something so stupid? Not a chance.”
I sigh dramatically, putting a hoof to my forehead. “And here I thought I’d found something with which we could try to mend the broken bond of sisterhood we were never able to experience due to our mother leaving me in the hospital all those years and never telling you about me.”
She rolls her eyes. “What, are you taking drama lessons from that dressmaker?”
I let the expression of woe fall and smirk. “Come on, Tiara. I’d have thought you’d jump at an opportunity like this.”
She snorts. “Why? Do you think I’d like to roll around in the mud like a pig?”
I shake my head, shrug and give a dramatic sigh as I turn around to leave. “And here I thought you’d like a chance to win one over on those Blank Flanks you hate so much. Guess I was wrong.”
I’ve barely taken a few steps before her voice calls out. “Wait. What do you mean?”
I glance over my shoulder, smirking. “Well, it just so happens that Sweetie Belle will be competing. I just thought, considering your history with her and her friends, you’d have wanted to take another chance at humiliating her with defeat. Guess I was assuming too much, wasn’t I? It’s not like our mother would be happy if you beat a pony she looks down on.”
I turn away again and push open the door.
“Alright, fine!”
I pause, glancing over my shoulder. “Hmm?”
She growls, looking away and mutters, “I’ll... compete with you in the Sister Hooves Social, okay? But, I’m not doing it for fun or anything, you got that? I’m only doing this so I can beat that Blank Flank!”
I turn around, grinning. “Sure, whatever. Thanks, sis.” Then my expression hardens. “But, we’ve gotta go over some rules.”
She flinches and her ears splay against her head. She gulps. “L-like what?”
I teleport onto her bed, right in front of her, our faces almost touching. “You’re not allowed, in any way, to rub this in Sweetie Belle’s or any of the CMC’s faces after we win, nor are you allowed in any way, shape or form to sabotage the other competitors, got it?”
She whimpers, nodding.
I return to my goofy smile and nod. “Good. Okay, well, we’ll be competing tomorrow. You’d better study up on what the courses will be.” As I finish speaking a book containing all the information on the Sister Hooves Social rules and games appears before and drops onto her bed.
She grumbles and I turn and walk out, smirking. That was even easier than I thought it would be. Sure, I know that somepony beat Sweetie Belle and Rarity... or will. UGH! Time context is so annoying. How does Discord handle it? Seriously.
Well, I’m making sure Diamond and I win. Sure it gives Tiara more of a feeling of one-upmen-ship on a member of the CMC, but I think I should do it. It’ll make the pay of for when she reforms all the better.
Plus, I wanna see if we can at least be a bit more like siblings before her redemption.
“I still can not believe you talked me into this,” Diamond grumbles as we take our places at the starting line between Dinky and Carrot Top. Diamond and I are both wearing brown neckerchiefs to mark us as a team.
As we stand waiting for the signal for the race to start, Diamond looks around at the other teams competing in the race and frowns in confusion as she looks to the far end.
“Wait. Why’re that Blank Flank and farmer racing together? I thought you said this was a competition for sisters?”
I lazily glance at Sweetie Belle and Applejack standing at the far end, both wearing neckerchiefs of their own, theirs green. “Don’t worry, Diamond. Applejack won’t actually be competing in the race.”
She looks to me, frowning in bemusement. “Um, care to explain just how that works?”
I just smirk. “You’ll find out. Now, focus on winning. Mother wouldn’t exactly be pleased if you lost to a Blank Flank, would she?”
Spoiled, for making causality work so that I have to say these things, you are so going to pay.
Diamond wilts a little, before determination forms in her expression and she faces ahead.
Granny Smith gives the word and the race starts. Diamond and I move fast, Diamond motivated to make sure Spoiled doesn’t get angry at her for losing.
I can’t help being impressed as she plows through the mud pit, and keeps going, not even worried about the mud on her. Guess I gave her more motivation than I thought.
Hearing Applejack’s voice, I glance over my shoulder and see Rarity pop out of the mud, so covered nopony aside from myself, AJ and Apple Bloom know the difference.
With a quick smirk, I speed up and join Diamond as we barrel through the barrels (no pun intended). When we get to the crates, I leap over them no problem, but Diamond struggles, seeing as athletics are not really her strong suit, so I help her up with a hoof.
We reach the pies and she looks uncertainly at me. I smirk and, with a little magic, make them bite-sized and wink. Hey, it’s not cheating. The rules only say we have to eat the pie completely. There’re no rules about using Chaos Magic to compress them. Though Tiara’s gonna feel pretty bloated when the one she ate returns to full size in an hour or so.
Pushing the hay bale is no effort at all for me. Diamond does her best, but, being more in tune with my Earth Pony strength than she is, I’m the one who pushes it. Since I do that fair and square, we lose a bit of ground to Dinky and Sparkler, who get to the barrels and grapes first.
But, it’s no problem. I wink at Diamond and use my magic to toss all the grapes into our barrel and jump in (using my magic to clean my hooves first, of course) and start stomping like a mademare, til our jar is full and we take it over to the stool, just as “Applejack” and Sweetie Belle head off towards the planks with the apples and barrel to catch them in.
I follow “Applejack’s” example and just plop my ass down on the board, sending our apples flying.
However, this is where Diamond’s training under Spoiled comes in handy, it having giving her a perfect sense of balance, keeping the bushel on her head in place and collect the apples.
We manage to get to the chicken coup just after Sweetie and “Applejack” and have to wait for them to go in before we can. And we get through no problem, thanks to Diamond’s perfect sense of balance helping her to carry her egg.
Once we’ve both put an egg in the basket, we shoot off, flashing passed “Applejack” and Sweetie, who are just ahead of Berry Punch and Berry Pinch.
Our trio of teams race neck and neck, until we jump over the ribbon in front of the finish line, causing a storm of dust as we all impact the ground. When it clears, Diamond and I are just a little ahead of the Berries, despite both our teams being over the finish line.
Diamond looks shocked as we’re presented the first place ribbon. The crowd come out and lift us up, cheering.
Diamond smirks, basking in the victory, before I tap her shoulder. “Didn’t you want to understand how Applejack didn’t compete?”
I teleport us back to the finish line, where Sweetie, “Applejack” and Apple Bloom are gather, the yellow crusader saying how the race was so close.
Then, as Sweetie hugs “Applejack”, her Stetson falls off, revealing a white unicorn horn.
“Wait. What?!” Diamond’s mouth drops. “Since when did that farmer have a white unicorn horn?”
Sweetie Belle brushes some of the mud off, revealing a white flank with a trio of diamonds for a Cutie Mark. “Rarity?!” she gasps, said mare then shaking off more of the mud, revealing herself.
“Huh?!” Diamond’s jaw somehow drops further.
“Wait. Where’s Applejack?” Sweetie Belle asks.
A gasp from the starting line draws all our attention over to the mud pit, where the real Applejack, covered in mud, comes out.
Diamond just gapes as Applejack comes over, before turning to me. “Did you have something to do with that?”
I roll my eyes. “Ponies do weird things without needing Chaos Magic, sis. They switched places at the very first mud hole. Told you AJ wouldn’t be competing.”
“I... but... and she doesn’t... and then they... gah?” she just looks from me to the others, speechless.
As Rarity and Sweetie cuddle, Rarity says, “See? We are apple pie!”
“Huh?”
This manages to pull Diamond out of her stupor (you have to be a fun-wrecker sometimes, don’t you Rarity?) and turns to me, an eyebrow raised.
I shake my head. “I’ll explain some other time. It’s sort of a personal in joke between the two older sisters.”
“I don’t condone being involved in that... ridiculous sporting event,” Spoiled says, waving a hoof dismissively, causing Diamond to wilt and look down sadly at the floor. “However, seeing as you at least won, I can overlook it this time, Diamond.”
A small, half-hearted smile forms on Diamond, which she hides by turning away to head to her room.
When Diamond enters her room, I make myself visible, having watched the whole thing.
“At least I won,” she mumbles, giving a slightly forlorn glance to the First Place ribbon, which she’s set on her cabinet, next to a photo of us that was taken for having been the winners.
“We won, Diamond,” I say, coming over and putting a hoof on her shoulder. “And we had fun, didn’t we?”
Diamond looks down, giving a small chuckle. “Yeah. Yeah, it... it was kinda fun, I guess.”
“Maybe we’ll enter next year?” I ask, tilting my head.
She looks away. “I... no. No, I... I don’t think so.”
I wait for a moment, before sighing. “Okay. Later then.”
“Thanks... sis.”
I stop just before going out the door and glance over my shoulder, blinking. “Um... what... what was that?” Surely I misheard her.
She looks over to me with a weak smile. “Thanks. Today was... fun. Later, little sister.”
The room goes silent for a moment, with us looking at each other, before I break eye contact. “S-sure, Diamond. Any... anytime... big... sister.”
She warms up at that, then turns away and looks at the ribbon.
I watch her for several moments, then teleport away.
Applejack sighed in relief as she wiped her brow of sweat. After the Sister Hooves Social had ended, she’d helped with the clean up, before returning to her applebucking. It had taken a few hours, it was late afternoon now, but she had pretty much finished.
Sure glad Ah could help Rarity and Sweetie make up, she thought to herself as she bucked another tree, smirking. Sure didn’t expect t’ see Screwball an’ her sister there. Wonder how she managed to convince that prissy filly t’ compete.
She pulled back, ready to buck another tree, when she paused.
She lowered herself and stood up straight, closing her eyes, listening.
The orchard was pretty quiet, save the wind and a few birds. It was one of the advantages of living so far out of town. It was peaceful and quiet... at least when Apple Bloom didn’t have her friends over.
As she stood there, listening, Applejack picked up a sound on the wind. It was faint, but she was sure it sounded like... crying.
Concerned, Applejack stopped what she was doing and headed towards the direction the sound was coming from. It took a few minutes, but, she eventually found the source of the crying on a hill in one of the farthest fields, where the land was a bit more coarse, making it harder to grow apples properly due to being so far away from the river and lake.
She was very surprised by what she saw. Sitting on the top of the hill was a small Earth Pony filly with a pink coat and a purple and white mane and tail. Laying at her side was a small propeller beanie. This, plus the screw and baseball Cutie Mark told her who it was... but what she was seeing her doing was what gave Applejack pause.
Screwball was crying. The tears sliding down her face dripped off of her and slid down the hill, joining a stream that was forming. It took Applejack a second to realize Screwball was literally crying a river, albeit a small one.
Slowly she walked over and sat down next to the sobbing filly.
“Sugarcube?” she asked, reaching a foreleg out and wrapping it around the sad chaotic filly’s shoulders.
It was so bizarre. Since the first time they’d interacted, Screwball had always seemed happy, joking around all the time and just loving life, like Pinkie Pie.
She forcefully repressed a shudder at that last thought and it’s possible implications, and focused on the sobbing pony.
“Sugarcube, what... what’s wrong?” If Screwball was crying a river, it had to be something bad. Though, considering she knew Filthy Rich and how much had cared for both his daughters personally, she couldn’t understand what would have upset the usually enigmatic pink filly so much.
Screwball sniffled a few times, trying to catch her breath. “I... I m-miss my f-f-family.”
The whispered sob caused Applejack confusion. “Um... come again?”
“M-my other family,” the filly whimpered, trying to wipe the tears from her eyes with a hoof, though it proving fruitless. “F-from before.”
Applejack blinked, pausing as she tried to understand the chaotic filly’s words, before she remembered the day they’d all met her.
Screwball had, in her own unique and chaotically confusing way, explained how her body was Equestrian, but her essence, her mind and spirit, had been that of a creature from another world. She was talking about the family she’d been forced to leave behind in that world when Discord had unintentionally brought her to this one.
“I... I tried to forget them,” the younger pony continued, pulling Applejack from her reminiscing and realizations. “I... I used my powers to wipe my memories, thinking it would make things better, so I could just have fun in this world.” She sniffled, trying to wipe her eyes again. “But... it only makes it worse. I... I can’t even remember what my mother looked like, or her voice... or anything.”
Applejack pulled the filly into a hug as her sobs began anew, holding the young pony close to herself, much like whenever she needed to comfort her little sister.
“I... I wanted to forget to be happy,” Screwball continued, her voice slightly muffled by the older mare’s fur. “Things... weren’t going so good back home. My... my daddy had to move out so that my mommy would be happy and my brothers and sisters were alienating him. I was the only one of my siblings who wanted to stay in touch with him. I... I felt like I was being forced to choose between my family or my dad.”
Applejack wasn’t sure how to respond to that. How were you meant to respond to that?
“When... when I realized I was Screwball and... and what I could do, I removed my memories so that I wouldn’t feel sad... but also because I thought I could have a happier life here,” the distraught filly shuddered, whimpering. “I... I miss them all... but I can’t even remember them... and I can’t make myself remember. I... I...”
Applejack quietly hushed her, rubbing her hoof along the filly’s back in soothing motions. “What brought this on, all o’ a sudden?”
Screwball sniffled, before burying herself deeper into the farm mare’s fur. “Diamond... called me sister.”
“Hmm?” Applejack cocked an eyebrow.
She could feel Screwball giving a sad smile against her fur. “She... she thanked me for today at the social and... and called me sis. She... she sees me as her family... as her sibling and it... it made me remember—”
Her sobbing renewed and Applejack just held the trembling filly. She understood the pain Screwball was feeling in a way. Screwball had lost her family from her old life. They were still alive out there, but she’d never see them again.
The fact that a young filly her age, regardless of however old she’d been back where she came from, had to bear such a heavy weight was too much to put on one so young and expect her to cope.
As the sun began to set, Applejack pulled back to see if Screwball was alright now, only to find the young pony had fallen asleep against her coat.
The Apple mare couldn’t help but smile and gently lifted the slumbering filly up and onto her back, and took her home.
Filthy was surprised by Applejack’s arrival, but became concerned when he saw Screwball on her back. Diamond Tiara came out when she heard the ruckus and seemed just as worried for her sister as her father, which Applejack couldn’t help smiling at.
Leaving the filly with her father and sister, Applejack turned and headed back towards her farm.
As I return to conciseness, I feel confusion. Wasn’t I with Applejack before? Why am I lying in bed?
I sit up, looking around with bleary vision. A quick touch of Chaos Magic and that’s taken care of.
My room seems normal... I’ve yet to really decorate it yet, so it pretty much looks like it did when I first started living in the mansion.
A knock on the door pulls my attention.
“Um, come in,” I say, failing to stifle a yawn, a second before realizing if it’s Spoiled, I’ve just given her permission to enter, so the wards I put up won’t hold her back.
However, the pony that walks in is Randolph and, on his back, he’s carrying a small tray that has a smell of spices and fruit coming from it.
“Good morning, Miss Screwball,” he says in a sombre tone I haven’t heard from him before. “Are you feeling better this morning?”
I blink for a few moments, before it finally clicks in my head and my ears splay back. I must have fallen asleep whilst Applejack was hugging me yesterday and she brought me back home, maybe even told Daddy and Diamond what had happened.
Sure hope Spoiled didn’t learn about it. She’d probably just try and find a way to use it as leverage over me, the manipulative bitch.
I sigh, giving a small nod. “I’m okay, Randolph. Yesterday I just...” I sigh again, lowering my head. “It’s hard to always be care-free, ya know?”
He places the tray in my lap with delicate easy, before looking to me with a sad smile. “We all have our off-days, Miss Screwball. Even Pinkie Pie has been known for a slump every now and then.”
I inwardly shudder. Yeah. I honestly don’t wanna run into Pinkie during a slump like when the show first saw her not nice nutty side. I know about all the jokes regarding the idea of Pinkamena being a creepy crazy side to Pinkie and kinda felt bad for the idea after listening to a reading inwhich Pinkamena herself says how it's hurtful that everyone acts that way about her, when she's a consciousness trapped within Pinkie Pie and having to watch from inside as Pinkie lives their life, whilst she can do nothing. Still, I'd rather not test the waters, if you catch my drift.
I smile and Randolph, thanking him for bringing me breakfast, before something else clicks and I turn to him with a raised eyebrow. “Why’d you bring me breakfast in bed? I have school today, don’t I?”
Randolph shakes his head. “Considering what Miss Applejack told your father last night when she brought you home, he’s decided it’s better that you take the day off school, Miss. Enjoy your meal. I’ll be back to retrieve the dishes in a bit.”
With that, he turns and leaves, closing the door behind him.
I sit quietly and eat my soup. It’s a unique kind of soup I’ve never tried before and it perks me right up. It’s a spiced fruit soup. Raspberries, lemon juice, apricots, ginger, things I’d never have thought you could put into soup and my tongue is dancing with the flavours.
Within minutes I’ve finished the soup and am washing it down with a glass of water, feeling much better.
Shortly after I finish, Randolph returns, I give him my thanks and compliments to the chef and he heads off with a small smile, leaving me to my own devices.
I lean back in bed, thinking.
A whole day where I’ve pretty much nothing to do. So, how do I pass the time without getting really bored?
Glancing out my window, I can see Cloudsdale in the distance and getting closer.
Guess it makes sense. Nightmare Night was a two days ago, so winter was probably running a bit late this year.
I can’t help chuckling at that. What, did Ponyville have a thing for its seasons being late before Twilight came around?
Putting that out of mind, since I doubt Daddy will let me help with bringing in winter after what Applejack probably told him last night, I try to think of something else to do.
Well, I didn’t visit Principal Cinch or even look for the EG Discord last time I went to the EG world, though I can account that to what I learned about the me in that world distracting me.
I sit up, my eyes wide with realization. If there is a Discord in the EG world, maybe I can get him to help Lilac. Sure, I doubt he has Chaos Magic like this world’s Discord, but maybe he can do something else to help her.
Unless he’s just a janitor, like the fandom usually seems to think.
Nodding to myself, I leave a copy of myself who will sleep the whole day and teleport through the dimensions.
“Oh, for fuck sake!” I snarl, wrapping my arms around me, braking out into shivers.
I’m back in the EG world and human again, but I guess I need to focus on my clothing when arriving if I’m not coming in through the portal, because, like last time, I’m nude upon arriving.
The only difference this time from before is that it’s freezing, with winter coming in and I’m in the buff.
Teleporting back to where I’d hidden my nudity the last time here in the park. A snap of my fingers later and I’m back in the clothes I’d been wearing last time, before I realize, with it being winter, these clothes won’t be enough to keep me warm.
After a few seconds of thinking, I snap my fingers in recognition, before doing so again to use my magic.
There’s a flash of orange light. When it fades, I’m now wearing a purple woollen jacket with darker-purple furry bits at the bottom, the ends of the sleeves and the collar and my Cutie Mark just bellow my chest. The rest of my outfit is pretty much the same, only now they’re warmer so keep out the cold. My hands are now covered in fluffy purple gloves instead of say that one glove you put both your hands in, like the ones in Madeline. Talk about a dumb design. If you need to use a hand for something, you’d have to take it out of the glove to do so, exposing it to the cold in the process.
With my winter attire done with, I lift my wrist and activate the scanner. I want to find Discord first, before going after Cinch to give her some well deserved chaos for what she’s done and what I know she’ll do in the future.
The scan... doesn’t reveal what I was expecting.
“Wow,” I blink, going down the page I’ve found on the Discord of this world. “I... wow. He’s got a PhD in micro and Neurosurgery, physiology and is even a psychiatrist?”
Okay. Did not see this coming, though the whole brain thing does kinda fit with him, really, when you think about it.
“And he’s a member of the School Board for the area on top of all that?” I ask, shaking my head. “Sheesh. Where does he find the time for it all?”
Wait a minute. Neurosurgery?
My mind flashes an image of the Lilac of this world and my fists tighten. Maybe I can help have after all. It won’t be anywhere near as fast a recovery as what I had, but maybe Discord can be of help to the me of this world like the one in Equestria helped me.
Nodding to myself, I scan for his location, before facepalming. He’s at the same hospital Lilac’s being cared for in? Oh, come on. Someone has got to be playing a joke on me here.
Shaking my head, I lift into the air and teleport to the hospital.
Doctor Deviant Discord was sitting in his office, going over some paperwork for one of his patients, when the intercom buzzed.
“Doctor Discord. Front counter paging Doctor Discord.”
“Yes, Nurse Coldheart. What is it?” he asked into the intercom.
“A young girl has arrived. She asked to speak with you. She apparently has an appointment.”
Discord took out his pager and looked through his list of appointments for the day... before frowning. There was a new appointment listed that he was sure hadn’t been there when he’d last checked.
After staring for several minutes, he shook it off and spoke again. “Very well. I’ll be there in a bit, Coldheart. Tell her to wait. I’ll be there in a minute.”
After some quick reshuffling of his papers, he got up, putting on his rimmed glasses and headed out to the waiting room, where several people were waiting for their appointments with their respective physician.
“A Miss.... Screwball?” he called out, quickly glancing at his pager to check her name.
A young girl got up, her appearance at once causing Discord to cock an eyebrow in confusion. Her hair was a messy, curly thing coloured both purple and white. She was wearing a purple woollen jacket with darker-purple furry bits at the bottom, the ends of the sleeves and the collar, with the image of a baseball and screw just under the chest area. She was wearing a dark-purple skirt, pink and purple striped tights and purple ugg boots.
However, the most startling and baffling thing about the girl were her eyes. There had no pupils. Instead it looked like her irises were purple spirals. It was the most bizarre thing he’d even seen in all his years in medicine.
The girl walked up to him, nodding.
It took him a few moments to pull his gaze away from those bizarre eyes and he turned, stumbling a bit as he led her to his office.
Once inside and she’d sat down in the chair next to his at his desk, he looked to her with confusion and uncertainly. “So, um, what’s the problem, miss?” he asked, trying his hardest not to keep letting his gaze drift to those spiralling eyes.
The girl named Screwball closed her eyes. “Actually, I’m here because of one of the other patients in this hospital.”
That pulled him out of his stupor and he regained his professional air. “Oh, um, right. Are you family, or a friend?”
“You could say I’m a distant relative, yeah,” she said, glancing away briefly. “Her name’s Lilac. Lilac Rich.”
Discord brow furrowed slightly. The same sounded familiar.
He brought up the patient fillies and scrolled through them, looking for the name.
“Ah, yes. Here we are,” he said after a few minutes. “Lilac Rich. In permanent chair in the psychiatric ward and...” he paused, his brow creasing as he read the patient's file. “Wh... what is this about?” His tone was less friendly now as he read through the patient’s symptoms and condition. “Why haven’t I been informed of this sooner? She’s been here how long?” He scanned her time before sitting back in shock. “Since birth? What in the world is going on here? This girl’s condition could’ve been treated at least ten years ago with the advances in science. Why hasn’t she been brought to my attention til now?”
A growl came from the girl as she folded her arms, her face a scowl. “Why does that not surprise me?”
He glanced at her in both confusion and annoyance. “What are you talking about?”
Screwball snorted, before looking to him. “Her father, Filthy Rich. I bet he kept it from your notice, am I right?”
Glancing back at the file, he saw that, in the beginning, it was indeed a Filthy Rich who had had the child put into permanent care... though oddly never checked in on her.
“Yes,” he said slowly, before returning his gaze to the girl. “He said any information about a possible cure was to be given to him only. Something about not worrying his wife..." A snort of anger from the girl caused him to raise an eyebrow. "But... how could you know...?”
The girl scoffed, clenching her fists against her arms. “I know this Filthy Rich, Doctor Discord. All he cares about is his reputation and business and nothing more. Lilac would've risked his reputation because of the condition she was born in. Even if she can now be cured, Filthy wouldn’t want the world to know his wife gave birth to a child that needs that kind of help.” She then snorted, looking away with a dark smirk. “Actually, knowing him, if you manage to cure Lilac, he’ll milk it for everything it’s worth, just to help get more business out of pity. Filthy Rich is a horrible person, trust me, I know his family personally.”
Suddenly Discord’s eyes widened as he recognized the name. “Wait a minute. There’s a woman named Spoiled Rich on the School Board I’m with who's husband's name is Filthy. Are you telling me that her husband the man you’re talking about are the same man?” he finished this with a small glare. He did not appreciate others badmouthing his fellow board members in any way, especially their families.
The girl nodded, her expression unwavering under his tone or stare. “I’ve sent you a file that should explain everything, doctor. And, if you want the best for your patient, you’ll keep Filthy away from her. The girl’s mother will gladly pay whatever it takes to afford the surgery and rehabilitation for Lilac. Her husband, however, will do everything in his power to prevent it.”
With that, the girl got up and left.
It took Discord several moments to realize what had happened, before he got up and hurried out to stop the girl and ask just what she meant, but found no sign of her.
When he asked Coldheart, she shrugged, not having paid attention.
Discord frowned, returning to his office and opening his emails. Finding one mark “to Mr. Deviant Discord of the School Board” but with no return address.
Wary that this could be a trick, he had a virus scan go over the email. When it turned up clean, not sure if he should or not, he opened the email.
I hover above the city, heading towards my next destination with a scowl. I still can't beleive how messed up this is. In Equestria, Filthy Rich is a kind buisness pony who is understanding and a wonderful father, whilst his wife is a self-centered bitch, who will even use her own children to get what she wants. Here, it's the exact opposite; Filthy lives up to his name as a busniessmen and his wife is a kind and understanding member of the School Board. Honestly, what I learned about them and how drastically they contrast to the ones I know is charring, to say the least.
After a few moments, I sigh, a smile coming onto on my face. I may not be able to expose Spoiled in Equestria yet, but the Filthy Rich here is another story. Plus, now Lilac has a chance of becoming sentient again.
However, with her taken care of, there’s a woman with an attitude the same as Pony Spoiled's that needs to be taught a lesson.
After some time, I find myself over Crystal Prep Academy. Floating down and following my scanner, it doesn’t take long for me to find Principal Abacus Cinch.
She’s sitting at her desk, going over some paperwork. I can’t help noticing the smirk on her face.
Frowning, I snap my fingers and move down out of view of the window as a screen appears before me. I’ve now got a view of the room as if I’m a fly buzzing around.
Moving the image to show what she’s looking over, I glower at seeing it’s some things Twilight did to improve Crystal Prep’s reputation.
A bell rings and Cinch gets up, muttering something about lunch not coming quick enough today, as she moves over to a small bag and takes it with her.
I blink as I take that news in, before I smirk and snap my fingers. At once, I teleport and find myself in a cafeteria. It looks like any other cafeteria, a long line with food options and tables in neat rows throughout the place, each with their own groups, showing the cliques.
As my gaze moves over the room, I can’t help noticing Twilight. She’s sitting at a table all by herself on the far-end of the room.
Sighing, I turn my gaze around, intent on waiting for Cinch to come so I can give cause her some bowel discomfort, when I notice a humanized pony I recognize. Twist is sitting not too far from where I’m floating, invisible to all.
She has the red hair and her freckles and glasses, sure, but her hair’s tied back in two ponytails and she doesn't quite give off the same friendly nature as her pony counterpart.
I frown, before remembering that I saw her in the Friendship Games short Pinkie Spy. It had been brief, but she was there.
I scratch my chin, wondering if she was at the Friendship Games, before slapping myself in the head. Of course she was there. All of Crystal Prep went to the games, even if only twelve of them were competing.
Shaking my head, I turn my attention to the doors just as Cinch comes in.
At once, I notice everyone goes a bit stiffer and any sound of conversations pretty much stops.
Looking to Cinch, I feel my blood boil at the smirk on her face as she looks over the room, before moving over to a table that students quickly move away from to let her eat alone, to which she smirks again.
Once she gets it though, I snap my fingers, adding the same type of laxatives to her food that I did to Tiara when Pinkie and I were pranking the town, only this time, I’ve quadrupled the dosage compared to what I gave Diamond and Silver Spoon.
I wait whilst everyone else is eating, grabbing myself a corn beef and cheese sandwich whilst I’m I do.
After Cinch is half way through her food (she even eats as if she’s better than others), I see her eyes widen and, despite trying to act calm as she gets up and moves out the room, I grin an evil grin as I watch her go, before snapping my fingers, appearing before the rest rooms.
Wearing a shit-eating-grin even bigger, I snap my fingers, making a “Out of Order” sign appear. However, only Cinch will be able to see it. No one else will.
I lean back against the wall and wait, snickering as she comes striding down the halls.
The way her eyes widen when she sees the sign almost makes me keel over in laughter.
At once she moves at a much faster pace and I follow, using a little magic to tell where she’s headed so I can get there first, finding myself in front of the Teacher’s Female Toilets.
Cackling like a madwoman, I snap my fingers, putting another “Out of Order” sign that only she’ll be able to see there.
When Cinch arrives, the repressed scream she holds back is almost too much as I roll around in the air, laughing like a loon. As I see her turning her head towards the Male’s Toilets, I do the same as before, leaving her the main Male’s Toilets, the ones the student can only use cause they’re not allowed to use the staff ones, as her only option, which means she’ll have to wait even longer.
She yells in rage, before storming off, myself following behind as she barrels her way down the halls to reach the Male’s Toilets.
When she gets there, she opens the door, only to find five guys, three of whom I recognize as the human versions of Jet Set, Trenderhoof and Neon Lights (I’d still like to know why he’s attending Crystal Prep, to be honest), all of whom freeze at the sight of their principal standing in the open doorway, with a look of bloody murder.
“OUT!” she bellows and they scram, not wanting to question her.
The sounds of Cinch moaning as she releases at last in one of the cubicles pushes me too far and I almost pee myself with how much I’m laughing.
After several minutes, I leave, with a nice recording to use whenever I want against Cinch. Or maybe I’ll just upload it onto Youtube without a care and see how she takes it.
As I leave Crystal Prep, I look up at the sky and see it’s fairly late in the day.
Deciding I’ve had enough fun for one day, I snap my fingers, passing through the dimensions, back to Equestria.
Protection from the Moon’s Guard on the Eve of Hearth's. Sounds too poetic for this fic, don't it?
“Take that!” I call out, snapping the end of my tail and sending a wave of snowballs flying forward.
Sweetie Belle cries out as she’s buried in the snow, before she sticks her head out glares in my direction as Scootaloo and I hoofbump.
“Yeah, Screwy and I win,” she grins as we trot over, Apple Bloom coming out from the tree she was hiding behind to avoid the barrage.
“No fair, Screwy,” the unicorn pouts as the Apple filly helps her out. “You’re not allowed to use your powers like that. We can’t win against that.”
“The rules said we could use anything at our disposal during the game,” Scootaloo smirks. “Last I checked, that includes any skills anypony on the team knows.”
“Oh yeah? How about this then?”
We both glance in Apple Bloom’s direction and see her buck a nearby tree.
It takes a second for either of us to understand what she meant, before our vision is covered in white.
“Let’s call it a tie, huh?” she asks as we both pop our heads out of the snow.
I giggle and Scootaloo just rolls her eyes. “Fine, whatever.”
“Could you at least try to socialize with ponies more befitting our family?”
We all turn to see Diamond and Silver Spoon standing a little away from us, Diamond giving me an annoyed look.
I shrug, melting the ice and shaking myself like a dog, before bending down and scratching my ear with my back leg, grinning. “Hey. We can each chose who we want as friends, right?”
She rolls her eyes, before giving the CMC a nasty glare. “Your sisters asked me to tell you they’re leaving soon.”
The girls all look at each other, before their eyes widen.
“We’d better hurry. Rarity will have a fit if we’re late,” Sweetie Belle says.
The other two nod, before Apple Bloom looks to me. “Uh, Screwy? Ya wanna come with us?”
I shake my head and indicate to Diamond, who is now fuming that Apple Bloom suggested I go with them and not her. “I wanna spend Hearth’s Warming with my family, AB. Catch you girls when you get back, kay?”
They nod, before hurrying off.
Yep. Tonight is Hearth's Warming Eve and the Element Bearers and the CMC are going to Canterlot so the latter can watch the former perform in the Hearth's Warming Ever play.
And, yes, it is still kinda doing my head in that an event from later in Season 2 is taking place before another event that was meant to come before it.
As I walk over to join Tiara and Spoon, I smirk at Diamond’s still fuming face. “Jealous that they get to go to Canterlot because their sisters are in the biggest play this year?”
She rounds on me. “Last I checked, that scooter-riding Blank Flank’s got no sisters going!”
I shrug. “You think AJ or Rarity would leave one of their little sisters’ friends out?”
She glowers, before looking away.
I roll my eyes. “Last I checked, we’ve got something happening tonight, right?”
She nods, before gaining more of her normal smirk. “Yep. Daddy told me we’ll be having dinner with one of his clients.”
I notice Silver sigh. “Lucky you. My parents decided we’re staying home tonight.”
I frown at Silver. “You know, someday, everypony will know we’re your family gets its fortune from, Silver. Hiding it really isn’t going to help.”
Silver looks at me, before glancing at Diamond questioningly.
The other filly shrugs. “I’ve given up trying to understand how she knows the stuff she does.”
It doesn’t hurt that I did a background check, late as it was. Silver Spoon’s family is rich like ours, but not for the same reasons. Her father, Silver Sterling, is the jeweler in the store Apple Bloom and Scoots go with Big Mac to buy Cheerilee a ring for their wedding whilst he was under the influence of the Love Poison. Or will be. Urg. Time context!
But her mother, Silverspeed, is a Pegasus that works on the weather team. You see her briefly in Hurricane Fluttershy. Both jobs pay pretty well, hence why Silver has so much money, but, for whatever reason; Silver has tried to hide her parents’ jobs from others, save Tiara.
I shake my head and look to Silver. “Honestly, I’d rather us have that kind of a Hearth’s Warming, Silver. You get to spend time with just your parents, instead of being stuck around stuck-up rich ponies who can’t think of anything to say other than flaunt their money in your face just to make you feel smaller due to how much more money they have.”
Silver blinks, not really sure about my wording, but nods.
We all turn and head towards home. Silver will be heading back to her house in a while, but she can hang around, which gives both Diamond and myself a reason not to be around Spoiled.
As we walk down the road, Silver makes a gagging sound. “Ew! What’s that smell?”
Diamond sniffs the air, before gagging herself.
I take a sniff and gag, before my eyes widen. Oh, crap! It smells like somebody left a corpse out in the sun for ages and ages and ages and then covered it in vinegar and set it on fire... and I’ve smelled it before.
Whirling around, I’m slammed in the head by a paw. I fly backward, hitting my head against a rock.
Argh! Shit, that hurt. My head feels like it’s pounding and Diamond and Silver’s screams aren’t helping—
My eyes widen and I stagger to my hooves and to see Diamond and Silver being back against a tree by a trio of Timber Wolves.
Grimacing from the smack to the head, I try to use my magic to turn the living wood into Chihuahuas, like I did the last Timber Wolves I ran into.
However, the moment I try, my head pounds harder. Crap. Must be like how, if a unicorn or Alicorn is suffering a massive headache, they can’t focus their magic.
But, I’ve got to do something. I can’t let my sister and her best friend get eaten by Timber Wolves. Not even thinking about the ramifications that could have on the timeline, Diamond’s my sister and Silver’s her best friend. I am not loosing anymore of my family than I already have.
I stagger towards the trio of living wood, but stumble to the ground with a thud. This, however, seems to draw the attention of the Timber Wolves, causing them to turn in my direction, before prowling over to me. As a downed pony, I’m clearly an easier target.
Considering what I can do with my magic, I’d normally disagree with this statement, but, with my head pounding, preventing me from concentrating on using my magic, I have no choice.
“Screwball!” Diamond’s voice cries in fright, going up in pitch. “Get away! Run!”
If only I could. Had I realized how close that Timber Wolf that swatted me was, I could’ve braced myself, even using some Chaos Magic, to avoid this headache from happening and could've then used more Chaos Magic to solve the problem within seconds.
As I watch the trio of wooden wolves circle me, I brace for the pain. So, this is how I go out? Lunch for living wood with teeth?
A shout causes me to jump, before a dark-grey shape lunges from behind me, knocking into the Timber Wolves. Startled, they scatter, before regrouping and growling.
I look up at my saviour through the headache.
The pony standing before me is a dark gray earth pony stallion with a black spiky mane with red spiked bangs combed to the side. His tail is short and spiked and features the same colour scheme as his hair. He seems a little taller than Applejack. His Cutie Mark, which I’m getting a good look at from my current positron, is a blue shield with a black Nightingale bird.
For some reason light is glaring back in my eyes as I look at him and it takes a moment to realize why. The guy’s got an artificial, metal leg. His real leg rear leg is just gone. I didn’t know Equestria was advanced enough yet for working prosthetics like that.
“Beat it, your wooden beasts,” he growls, unsheathing a sword emblazoned with Luna's crescent moon Cutie Mark and holding it in his mouth.
He and the wolves stand off for several moments, before the wolves seem to decide it’s not worth it and turn and head back in the direction of the Everfree Forest.
“Screwball!” the ground thumps with the sound of hoofbeats, before I feel Diamond lift me up. “Are you okay? You’re not too hurt are you?”
I move to shake my head, but stop when it starts pounding harder and I wince. “I’m... I’m okay, sis. Just need to wait this headache out.”
“I’d suggest going to the hospital to get yourself checked out,” the stallion says, walking over as he sheaths his sword.
Looking to him, I frown. “That sword. Only ponies in the Lunar Guard use them.”
He nods. “Princess Luna assigned me to keep an eye on you after she returned from Nightmare Night. I’m under cover, so I’m not wearing my armour right now.”
“To make sure I don’t cause trouble?” I ask, leaning against Diamond as my legs wobble. Damn. I forgot how much it sucks not to be able to whisk your problems away with Chaos Magic.
He gives a half-nod. “And to make sure nothing bad happened to you, though she told us she trust you and to not think of you as a smaller version of Discord. Judging by what’s just happened, she had a right to be worried.”
I nod slightly so I don’t increase the pain. “Normally the Timber Wolves don’t come out of the forest.”
He nods. “Yeah, but some are getting more daring. I’ve had several others keeping an eye on things and we’re even getting aid from Miss Zecora. We think it’s conected to a rumour that a Windigo has found its way to Equestria. They’re restless and not sure what to do, so they're coming out of the forest. Once things have settled down, we’ll be able to leave the forest to her alone. Now, let’s get you to that check-up.”
Makes sense. There was a Windigo cry during the Hearth’s Warming Eve episode, though it was no doubt repelled by the Friendship-Fire heart that blazes above the city at the end of the episode. Or will tonight. Damn time context! And my headache isn’t feeling any better for it.
I nod and we follow him back into town, heading for Ponyville Hospital.
As we walk, I ask him a few questions.
His name is Knight’n Gale, which he explains is pronounced Nightingal, like the bird.
While not being a bat-pony, like the first of the Lunar Guard seen during Nightmare Night, he is very skilled in fighting and sword using skills, making him a very reliable pony to have in combat.
When Silver asks why he joined the Lunar Guard instead of the Solar Guard, he tells as that lost his wife and only son in the battle for he was defending them during a raid by a gang of thieves while living in darker parts of Canterlot. It was this experience that drove him to join the Lunar Guard, so he can make sure nothing like what happened to him, happens to others.
I offer to use my Chaos Magic, once I can use it again without causing myself a worse splitting headache than I've already got, to give him back his leg, he declines, saying he prefers to have the leg. It reminds him just why he serves in the Lunar Guard every day.
We get to the hospital and Nurse Redheart checks me out. I’ve a mild concussion, but nothing serious. She just warns me not to do anything to strenuous for a few days.
With that over with, Knight’n Gale leads us back through Ponyville, stopping at Silver’s house to drop her off, before he escorts us back to the mansion. Randolph answers the door and speaks with the Lunar Guard, before stepping aside for us and we walk in.
“This is outrageous!” Spoiled growls, stomping her hoof as she paces around the living room.
“Honey, you heard what the guard said,” Daddy says, sitting in between Diamond and myself on the coach. “We shouldn’t take Screwball to Canterlot when she has a concussion.”
“She can use that Chaos Magic of hers to fix herself,” the pink mare snorts, waving a hoof.
Daddy sighs. “Honey, she can’t. That was explained too. The concussion is making it hard for her to concentrate to use her magic, like unicorns. That’s why I think we should just have Hearth’s Warming here, at home.”
“We could invite Silvy’s family over too!” Diamond suggests eagerly, before wilting as Spoiled turns her gaze on her.
Spoiled looks to her husband. “But, if we do not show up, ponies will talk, dear. Our family’s reputation could be on the line.”
“Spoiled,” he says, using her name for the first time in my living memory, “I’d sure they would understand us missing one dinner if it’s for our daughter’s health.”
Spoiled grits her teeth, before sighing and looking to her husband. “If you want to stay with our daughter, dear, then fine. But, we must at least home some of the family attend. Diamond?”
Said filly winces, before looking to our father. “Is it alright if I stay with Screwball, Daddy? She got hurt because the Timber Wolves went through her to get to us.”
He smiles, nodding. “I’m glad to see you caring for much for your younger sister, Diamond.” He looks to Spoiled. “Dear, do you really want to go on your own? It would be much more fun if you stayed?”
I have to hold back my snickers at the hidden rage Spoiled’s trying to prevent Daddy from seeing. With him right there, she can’t give a reason why Diamond shouldn’t go. She can't pressure her. And, if she went on her own, we wouldn’t have to deal with her tonight. It was a win for Diamond and myself no matter what she did.
After several moments, she huffed. “Fine, darling. You and the girls can remain. However, I, at least, must make sure our name does not have a chance of being besmirched.”
Plus, her being on her own gives her free rein to badmouth me. I bet she 'll love that.
“It’s surprisingly quiet,” Silver Sterling says as he passes around mugs of hot chocolate.
Daddy gave the staff the night and day off, since it’s Hearth’s Warming.
We’re all sitting in the living room, wearing Hearth’s Warming jumpers. I thank Silver’s dad as he passes me mine.
"I'd say that's a good thing," Daddy sighs, setting down a try with some ginger bread and shortbread. "Hearth's Warming's always been so hectic the last few years, I forgot how nice it is to just have a quiet one."
“Feeling any better, Screwball?”Silver asks me, looking up from her own mug.
I nod, massaging my head gently. “Yeah. Still don’t think I’ll be using my magic again til at least tomorrow, though.”
“Thanks again, sis,” Diamond says, holding up the glass sculpture of us and Daddy.
I nod, smiling. She gave me a photo casing with golden edges encrusted with diamonds. I plan on putting the picture of us winning the Sister Hooves Social in it.
“It’s a shame your mother couldn’t be here, too,” Daddy says as he joins us on the rug.
Silverspeed just chuckles. “She chose to go to that fancy party, Rich. Her loss, if you ask me.”
“Smile.” Silver, Diamond and I turn just in time to be blinded by a flash. When it fades, Silver dad is holding a camera, smiling.
“Our girls all just look so cute together, don’t they?” Silver’s mother coos.
Silver groans, facehoofing, whilst Diamond and I just giggle.
I glance out the window and see, far off in Canterlot, a bright, pinkish-purple light. The Hearth’s Warming Friendship-Fire heart.
I look around at the small group, my family (save Spoiled) and Silver’s. All together, just enjoying a quiet Hearth’s Warming together.
I smile, closing my eyes, feeling at peace. Best Hearth’s Warming ever.
I frown as I sit in the hospital waiting room, giving glares every few moments at the mare sitting next to me.
After Hearth’s Warming, Spoiled arranged this appointment. When Daddy asked she said it was because she was worried for my health since I’d had to stay home instead of go to the party, but I know better.
I’ll bet you anything she’s hoping the doctor will say I need to go away for treatment or something, so she won’t have to deal with me.
“Miss Screwball?” a nurse down the hall calls.
I sigh, lifting my hoof. “Here.”
She nods. “Doctor Deep Injection will see you now.”
I glance at Spoiled with narrowed eyes. I don’t recognize the name, and I’d read the file about me during my body’s catatonic state, including all the doctors and nurses who’d tended to me during that time.
I get up, Spoiled following after me. I feel more like a caribou being hunted by a lion than a child being followed by her mother with her behind me.
After walking down the hall for a bit we come to a room with the name Doctor Injection written above it and enter, causing the stallion to turn at the sound of our entrance.
He looks, pretty much, like a male Lyra, I think he’s called Harpsy? He’s wearing a white lab coat and glasses. However, I notice his Cutie Mark is a bunch of grapes and a bandaged teddy bear with torn crotch, stuffing pouring out from that spot.
He glances at us both, before returning to his computer.
For once, Spoiled and I seem to be on the same wavelength, because we both frown.
“Um, excuse me,” Spoiled says in a firm tone.
The stallion doesn’t even look up. “Yes, what do you want? I’m busy right now.”
Spoiled scowls. “My daughter has an appointment!”
He glances at her, blinking a few times, before moving his gaze over to a scroll. He goes down it a bit, before sighing. “Right. Forgot.”
He turns around and gets up, indicating to the bed.
Rolling my eyes, I head over and hop up onto it. He indicates to lie down on my back, so I do.
I frown as I see his eyes trail down my body, before looking back to my face. “What seems to be the problem?”
I groan. “I had a concussion after being tossed by a Timber Wolf on Hearth’s Warming Eve.”
He snorts softly. “You think you have it bad? Try being the child of notaries and spending your foalhood stricken by Thypus, or when varicella infected me? How about the many times I had influenza and had to suffer Tartarus to recover? Or maybe, if you had the necessary organs, orchitis shortly after getting a mole removed and all of it causes you to live in a depression-like state, feeling oppressed and crushed? Oh, but then puberty hit.”
He’s really getting into his rant now.
I’m frowning in confusion, wondering why he’s bothering to tell me this.
“For what was an age of doubt and struggle for my peers was an age of renewal and joy for myself, as I felt all my pains disappear, along with gaining the realization that I was not a foal anymore and that I was being treated more like an adult,” he says, waving his foreleg in a flourish.
I frown. “Okay. Um, about my check-up?”
He blinks, before shaking his head. “Oh, yeah, right.” He looks me over, before he blinks. “Wait.” He glances at my name on his list again, before his eyes alight. “You’re the miracle foal?!”
I don’t like how he said that, nor the look in his eyes.
Suddenly, he grabs me and starts looking me over. “This is amazing. Last time I checked, you couldn’t even move without another ponies’ help. Now look at you. Talking and with an attitude too. Ooh, those eyes.”
I want to back away with as close as he is to my face, but don’t have anywhere to do so.
“Oh, I’m never seen eyes like these before. So unique. I have got to learn how they allow you to see without pupils. Then there’s your body functions. Oh, how does it feel going to the toilet and knowing you’re doing it when you didn’t for most of your life?”
My ears splay against my head. His enthusiasm isn’t making me feel comfortable.
“Hmm,” he says, frowning. “You mentioned a concussion? Well, if it was really bad symptoms would’ve shown up by now, so we most likely don't have to worry about that. But, we should see how your body’s been coping with all the activity it’s been having since you left the hospital. Perhaps an anal endoscopy could reveal if your bowels are functioning properly,” he says, his nose bleeding slightly as he talks. “After all, you didn’t have any control before you left; the sudden change could cause a problem at any given time if not checked.”
I squirm. “A-anal? As in, you’re gonna shove something up my butt?!”
He nods, the blood dripping from his nose again after having just grabbed a tissue to wipe it clean.
Never in my life did I think I would feel as relieved as I do when Spoiled comes over and pushes him away, motioning for me to get down.
“Well... thank you, doctor,” she says curtly, giving him a look I know she only gives those she has no intention of wanting to interact with ever again. “It seems you’ve helped put our worries about her concussion at ease. Thank you. If we need your help again, we’ll contact you. Though I highly doubt we will,” she mutters, though I manage to catch it.
He blinks, before frowning. “Excuse me, miss, but I haven’t finished my examination. And, unless I have, your appointment is not done.”
Spoiled snorts. “Screwball, come. We’re leaving.”
Cocking an eyebrow, I follow her out, flicking my tail and hearing an intake of breath from behind me, glancing over my shoulder to see Doctor Deep Injection looking at me with an expression I can’t really explain as he tries to stop his nose from bleeding a third time.
As we walk out and head down the hall, I glance at Spoiled. Did she... just help me, in a way?
“I am not risking us being associated with a stallion so clearly in need of mental help,” she mutters as we walk out.
I roll my eyes. Of course. It wasn't care about me, but the reputation of the family.
“Oh, Doctor Injection?” Scootaloo asks as we all sit in the clubhouse, enjoying some hot cocoa I blinked into existence to warm us up. We’re all wearing scarfs and woollen beanie.
I nod, before frowning. “He was... weird. Does he usually get nosebleeds? Is he a hemophiliac?” At the confused looks I roll my eyes and elaborate, “Somepony who bleeds really easily, even from small things like a cut.”
They all open their mouths in Os of understanding, before frowning and looking to each other.
“Ah don’ think so,” Apple Bloom shakes her head. “Though, he does tend t’ have ’em a lot, don’ ’e?” she asks her fellow crusaders.
“Yeah,” Scootaloo scratches her neck. “He always has them whenever I’ve had an appointment directly after another foal.”
“Hmm,” I frown, sipping my mug. Maybe he is a hemophiliac. Would make sense, I guess. Younger ponies (children in general) tend to worry about things during hospital check-ups, so him being hit hard enough by said foals during a check-up due to them being scared, for a pony like him to bleed heavily doesn’t sound too out there.
“He’s really self-absorbed an’ arrogant, though,” Apple Bloom continues, frowning. “One time, Ah had a check-up and Big Mac was with me. He didn’t even notice us come in til Mac cleared his throat and he acted really rude to Mac.”
That I can believe. The guy had seemed like a male, downplayed version of Spoiled in a sense when we’d first gone in. The fact he made Spoiled and I somehow think on the same wave length for a moment is proof of that. Plus, there was the fact that, despite him saying we didn't need to worry about my concussion, he told Spoiled that she couldn't take me out because he said the appointment wasn't over, even though the reason we'd come had already been sorted.
“Still, he ain’t nowhere near as bad as them Flim Flam brother were,” the Crusaders nod in agreement of Apple Bloom’s statement.
I open my mouth to verbally agree, when I catch on to just what she said, it causing me to frown in confusion. “Wait.” They look to me. “Are you guys telling me that the Flim Flam brothers have already been here?”
They all nod, before Scootaloo speaks up. “It was back before you got out of the hospital, Screws, back before Discord got out.”
I just stare at the orange Pegasus, trying to understand her words, but they’re struggling through the cogs in my brain as it tries to process them.
Flim and Flam were already here before Discord? But, that episode wasn’t until volume two of the season, after Discord.
After a few moments I shake my head and ask what other things I might have missed that came before I arrived in Ponyville.
To say the answer stumped and confused the hell out of me, making my brain literally threaten to go on strike do the inconsistencies it was having to work with, would be an understatement to say the least.
The CMC spend the next few minutes, telling me of events that I recognize as being from the episodes The Cutie Pox, It’s About Time, Sleepless in Ponyville, The Mysterious Mare Do Well, Sweet and Elite, Secret of My Excess, Read It and Weep and Wonderbolts Academy. How did all of these events happen before Discord? I... but... HOW?!
“Though, if it weren’t fer that Nyx filly, A’m not sure what woulda happened t’ the farm,” Apple Bloom returns to the subject that started this confusion in my brain to begin with.
I try my best to shake off the whirling in my head as my brain tries to adjust to the shift in time frame I’m now dealing with... before my eyes widen and I look to Apple Bloom in shock.
“If it weren’t for WHO?!” I have to have misheard that. There’s no way Apple Bloom’s talking about who I think she’s talking about.
“This unicorn filly named Nyx,” Apple Bloom says, looking at me strangely. “She’s the one who called the Flim Flam brothers out when they just decided t’ take our farm when it was only the cider-sellin’ rights they’d won.”
“Never saw a unicorn with a black coat like hers before,” Sweetie Belle says, before sighing. “I had to listen to Rarity moan about not getting to work with her colour for weeks.”
“And that purple hair was pretty cool, too,” Scootaloo nods. “Never seen a pony with that dark a purple mane and tail.”
I try to speak, but my mouth only makes strange gasping noises as I’m trying to keep my cool as the implications and similarities in description as running through my mind.
“What... what were her eyes like?” I croak, my head flopping forward every few seconds.
Apple Bloom smiles. “They were the prettiest blue Ah’d ever seen. Shame she had to wear glasses. She’d look even prettier without ’em.”
I can literally feel my brain shutting down as it intakes ever bit of this Nyx filly’s description they’ve given and it forming a very eerily familiar image of another certain filly in my mind.
“Where... where is she now?” I manage to ask as I struggle to stop myself from screaming. How is Nyx here? How?
They all shrug.
“Never saw her again,” Scootaloo says, calmly shruggin. “She said something about how she only came back to sort out something that had been bothering her for a few years since first seeing the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000. Something about a detail always bugging her.”
Sweetie Belle shakes her head. “And I’m still confused as to why her aura was orange when not anything about her gave a reason.”
My brain screeches to a halt. Orange? Nyx’s magical aura isn’t orange. Not even close.
“I wonder what ever happened to her,” Scootaloo rubs her chin in thought. “She didn’t have her Cutie Mark, but she left before we could ask her to join the Crusaders.”
I frown, thinking. I’d been panicking at first, true, but that bit about Nyx’s aura being orange has calmed me down and allowed me to think. If the Nyx they’re talking about was indeed Nyx from Past Sins, her aura would not have been orange.
But, that would mean, whomever this Nyx was, was some other pony, pretending to be her. But, how? Nopony in this world save myself knew about Nyx until Hearth’s Warming. I’ve no doubt Twilight’s already read a fair bit of the book I gave her, since I know she and Spike open their Hearth’s Warming gifts on Hearth’s Warming Eve because Spike did just the same the first Hearth’s Warming Twilight had him and Luna’s probably read at least a bit of it by now.
So, that leaves only myself who could have possibly known about Nyx, but I wasn’t around back when the Flim Flam brothers were in Ponyville, so how could that work?
I almost facehoof. Oh, sweet Celestia. It’s a Bootstrap Paradox, like what Twilight went through? How is it that I’m part of something like that?
I sigh.
“Something wrong, Screws?” Scootaloo asks as the three notice my sigh.
I nod, before sighing again, before I look up, grinning. “Just that I’ve got to go do something right now to ensure the Space Time Continuum continues working. Brb.”
I blink, before looking around. Having been seeing snow covering Ponyville for almost a month, the sight of it without snow takes a second to get used to.
I shake my head and look around, noticing I’m in the Sweet Apple Acres fields, shortly before seeing a crowd of ponies not too far off, cheering.
Nodding to myself, I teleport closer, remaining behind a tree. The contest between the Flim Flam brothers and the Apple plus the rest of the Mane 6 is over.
“Flim and Flam win!” Mayor Mare’s voice calls out.
As everypony is distracted by the shocking news, I quickly change myself to fit the role I must play. My coat changes to black, my mane and tail turn dark-purple and become more combed back, a green headband appearing in my mane to keep it in tack, my beanie disappears along with my Cutie Mark, my eyes turn into normal eyes with turquoise irises around normal round pupils and a pair of glasses appear, held up by my nose.
I now look like a black unicorn filly without her Cutie Mark. Now to just wait for the right moment. I’m not sure when that will be, but the CMC said I call out Flim and Flam.
“Daw, too bad, Apples,” Flim says, his tone full of so much arrogance I have to stop myself from sending him to the moon.
“Guess you'll just have to find a new line of work that doesn't match your names quite so... perfectly,” Flam smirks.
“Now, should we tear down these tacky old buildings and put up new ones, brother?” Flim asks.
I blink, not having remembered either saying that, before it goes through my mind and I glare.
Again, as I had stated to many back in the real world, both online and IRL, I don’t recall, at any point, the deal being that, if the Apples lost, the two shady unicorns would get any more than the cider selling rights. At no point was there talk of anything meaning the Apples would need to find a new line of work that doesn’t match their names or the unicorns having a right to tear down the Apples’ home.
“I don’t see why not, brother,” Flam says casually. “After all, this isn’t Sweet Apple Acres anymore. How about,” his horn glows, before a banner appears over the sign of the Sweet Apple Acres cider stall, now showing two unicorn head silhouettes with a mug of frothing cider between them, “Flim Flam Fields?”
“Not on your fucking lives!” confusion erupts after I scream and step out from behind the tree, my eyes narrowed at the two insults to unicorn kind.
Everypony stares at me with shock, Rainbow Dash looking uncertain, most likely because, in the show, she was the one meant to get angry, so hearing a young filly none of them recognise do so threw her off.
Then again, it could simply be because a filly as young as I appear just used the F word like that.
Applejack seems to want to follow the script though. “No, little filly,” she says sadly. “A deal’s a deal.”
The two unicorns starting laughing in a stuck-up, full of themselves, annoying way that I don’t remember, but irritates me all the more.
“Last I checked, that does not give them the right to tear down your farm,” I say, lighting my horn with an orange aura and blasting the banner for Flim Flam Field, turning it to ash.
At once, the two unicorns lose their smug expressions and look to me with anger now mixed in.
“Now, see here, young filly,” Flim begins in a lecturing tone as if I’m stupid.
“You’re too young to understand the way big ponies do their business,” Flam continues for him in the same tone. If I wasn’t pretending to be somepony I’m not and didn’t want to risk the timeline, that tone alone would be earning them some serious shit, courtesy of me. “We won the competition fair and square, which means we’ve won the rights.”
I growl. “Yeah. The rights to sell cider here in Ponyville instead of the Apples!” I look to Mayor Mare. “Did anyone ever say that, if the Apples lost, they lose the whole farm?”
The mayor blinks for a few moments, before frowning, clearly going over everything in her mind, before she looks at with confusion. “I... don't think so.”
I growl. “Well, let me remind you all, with Flim’s own words!”
Eveyrpony looks confused, Flim and Flam especially.
My horn glows and an orange magical window appears, showing Flim with Granny Smith standing before him after having said the unicorns could use the south field for the contest.
Excellent, the Flim in the recording says, we have a bet. Whoever produces the most barrels in one hour wins the exclusive right to sell cider in Ponyville.
The screen pops out of existence and I look to the two unicorns with a smug snarl. “Now, correct me if I'm wrong here, but I don’t remember hearing anything about the farm during that,” I look around, “does anypony else?”
Murmurs come from the crowd as they all clearly remember that happening.
The anger and smugness in the two unicorns’ expressions disappears slightly, before they glance at each other.
“And, just for some added reminder,” I bring the screen up again, this time showing Mayor Mare. “Let’s see what the mayor said, so that it’s official.”
The teams have one hour to produce as much cider as they can, after which the barrels will be counted and the winner will be named the sole cider provider for all of Ponyville! the mayor on the screen says, before it vanishes.
The mayor blinks, before her eyes narrow. “That’s right. I never said anything about the farm going to them; just the rights to be the only ones in Ponyville to provide cider!”
All the ponies turn glares on the unicorns, but none are glaring at the brothers with more fire than the Apples.
“Ah can’ believe Ah fergot something so simple!” Applejack scolds herself, before snarling at the brothers. “And ya’ll were perfectly fine with just tricking us when we were down an’ leavin’ us homeless!”
Both unicorns begin sweating as eveyrpony starts shouting at them angrily.
“Ah,” Flim says, holding up a hoof. “But we are still now the sole cider sellers, here in Ponyville. That you can’t deny.”
Mayor Mare snorts. “True. You won those rights. However, don’t think you’ll get away with trying to steal somepony else’s home. The Apples have lived in our town since it was founded! Such a crime will not be ignored!”
They both see the crowd drawing closer, RD pounding one hoof into the other, like a fist.
I smirk at the two anxiously backing away unicorns. “Congratulations, boys. The cider business in Ponyville is all yours... provided you can keep it after going to jail. Plus, once word gets out that you tried to swindle the Apples, a family who pretty much have a say in every apple sale all over Equestia, out of their home, you won’t likely be able to get the apples for the cider in the first place. Especially when it was Princess Celestia herself who gave them that land to make their homes.”
As the crowd grow nearer, backing the two towards their machine, Flam glances at his brother. “It looks like we've encountered a slight... problem here in Ponyville.”
“Let's go, Flam!” his brother cries as they jump onto their machine and it quickly flies off.
The mob of ponies begin to chase them, but Applejack calls out, “Don’t bother, everypony,” causing them all to stop and turn to her. “They ain’t worth it.”
“That was so awesome!” I look to my right to say Dash has come over and is grinning at me, as are everypony there.
“Rainbow Dash is right,” Applejack says, stepping forward and putting a hoof on my shoulder. “Young filly, we can’ thank ya enough. Ya helped us keep our farm.”
I grin. “You never really lost it to begin with.”
She nods. “But we wouldn’a thought o’ that fer a while an’ by then, it woulda been too late.”
“Applejack is right,” Granny Smith walks over, smiling at me. “What’s yer name, little filly.”
“Nyx,” I smile back.
“Well, Nyx, as a token of our appreciation, we’d like to make you an honorary Apple,” Granny says, coming over, causing Applejack to back up, and placing a hoof on my shoulder.
I blink, before a few tears come to my eyes and a warmth fills my heart that I wasn’t expecting. “Um... th-thanks.”
"So, where're you from?" Twilight asks, looking to me.
I just shake my head. "I just came to sort out something that had been bothering her for a few years since i first saw The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000. There was a detail that's always bugged me. But, it's all good now.”
They look at me with raised eyebrows.
“Hey, everypony!” we all turn to Apple Bloom, who’s standing at the cider stale. “Because of this silly competition, we've made enough of our cider for the whole town!”
Cheers ring out across the area and Granny moves off to help serve out the cider.
As the teleport ends, I hear a gasp from the Crusaders.
I open my eyes to find myself back in the clubhouse, with the CMC staring at me... with open mouths?
“Nyx?!”
I blink, before looking down and cursing myself. A quick flash of orange light and I’m back to my normal self, but the three fillies are still staring at me in shock.
“Screwball?” Scootaloo asks, her eyes wide. “You were Nyx?!”
“Uh,” I chuckle, rubbing my neck. “I... guess so.”
“But, how?” Sweetie looks between her friends, to me. “That was ages ago. And you were still in the hospital back then, weren't you? You only got out because of Discord and he came around after the Flim Flam brothers.”
“I... kinda went back in time to do as you said Nyx did,” I scratch my neck.
They all stare, before they all scream at once, “YOU CAN GO BACK IN TIME?!”
“SHH!” I gasp, holding a hoof to my mouth. “Yes, I can. I’m a being of chaos, remember? But you can’t tell anypony I did that! Nopony can know about Time Travel magic. The only officially documented copy of it is in the—” I gasp, putting my hooves over my mouth to stop myself. There is no way in hell I am telling these three fillies where to find a spell that can send you back in time. I shudder just thinking about the damage they could do.
“Where? Where is it?” they all ask, eyes wide with glee before they cry out, “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, TIME TRAVELS, YAY!”
“NO!” I scream, waving my hooves about. “No! No time travel!”
“Aww, why not?!” Scootlaoo frowns at me. “You went back in time.”
“That’s only because the event with the Flim Flam brothers is a Bootstrap Paradox!”
They all blink, looking at me in confusion.
I sigh and sit down. “Okay. Let me explain. The bootstrap paradox is a time travel paradox in which an object or information can exist without it ever actually being created. The object or piece of information is sent back in time where it is retrieved and becomes the very object or piece of information that was brought back in the beginning.”
They look on in confusion.
I sigh. “Okay. Hypothetically, what if Twilight Sparkle went back in time to meet Starswirl the Bearded, the guy she dressed up us for Nightmare Night and found that he’s apprentice, Clover the Clever, the unicorn mentioned in the Hearth’s Warming play you went to, doesn’t actually exist, but found displayed using a spell noted as one of Clover’s first spells?”
“Clover’s first spell?” Scootaloo frowns.
“I think Rarity and Twilight talked about it a bit during Hearth’s Warming Day,” Sweetie Belle frowns. “I think it was teleportation without the use of a... circle of some kind, I can’t remember what.”
I nod. “Exactly. Now, the Twilight in this case knows teleportation was Clover’s first spell and, upon learning nopony has ever heard of such a spell before, wonders if she’s just altered the timeline. What happens then, if, when asked her name, she stepped on a piece of clover and, in annoyance, said Clover, making everypony think that’s her answer?”
“Everypony would think her name’s Clover?” Apple Bloom guesses.
I nod. “Yes, but then Twilight puts several facts together. Clover the Clever has been confirmed not to exist in the time she’s arrived in, when she knows she should exist. She’s just used the first spell Clover ever used according to documents and has accidently led ponies to think her name is Clover. What do you think this would mean?”
I wait for several moments as they try to understand it. Just when I think I’ll have to spell it out, thankfully, Sweetie Belle cries, “It would mean Twilight had been Clover the Clever all along!”
I nod.
“Wait. So, Twilight’s really Clover the Clever?” Apple Bloom asks, before her eyes widen in worry. “Is she gonna go back in time and never come back?”
“We have to stop her!” Scootaloo says, pressing her hooves on the table.
“But, if we stop Twilight from going back in time and becoming Clover the Clever, she’ll never be there to make the Freindship Fire with Smart Cookie and Pansy,” Sweetie Belle says, looking fearful.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” I hold up my hooves. “I never said Twilight’s really Clover the Clever. I just used the idea as an example.”
Though whether Twilight is really Clover the Clever is a popular theory among the fandom. I’ll have to look into that later.
Apple Bloom sighs with relief, before frowning. “So, what’s this gotta do with you being Nyx?’
I sigh. “Okay, like I described with the idea of Twilight being Clover the Clever, you all told me about Nyx, but said you didn’t know where she came from or who she really was. I’m the only pony who would really know that name, because it’s in a book I gave to Twilight and Princess Luna for Hearth’s Warming; a book you cannot find anywhere else in Equestria.
Now, what happens if, after being told everything about this Nyx filly who helped stop Flim and Flam, I were go back in time, see no filly matching her description, but, remembering what Apple Bloom said about Nyx being the reason those two unicorns beat it, I make myself look like Nyx and do whatever I can to point out the Flim Flam brothers don’t have the right to take the farm? But, here's where how it's a Bootstrap Paradox. I don't go back in time to become Nyx without Apple Bloom telling me about her, which she can only tell me abotu because the me she's telling goes back in time to become Nyx. See what I'm getting at?”
They all stare for several moments, before their eyes widen and their mouths open into wide Os.
I nod, before leaning back. “Pretty cool, right?”
They all nod, before Apple Bloom looks at me uncertainly. “But, can we at least tell Applejack 'bout you bein' Nyx? Ya are an honorary Apple, after all?”
I think for a minute, before sighing and nod, giving a small smile. “Alright. but only your family, Apple Bloom. We can’t let anypony else know about time travel beyond what they already do thanks to Twilight’s future-self going back in time, okay?”
They all nod.
“Pinkie Promise?” They do the motions and I sigh with relief.
But that is the last time I mess with time travel unless it's a key event ever again. Sure, this time was okay, but I’d shudder to think what would happen if I’d changed the timeline.
Luckily, since I’ve now gotten confirmation that Twilight’s already completed the time-loop of warning herself not to worry about the upcoming Tuesday of when she went back in time to warn herself, I know time travel will never come up and cause problems in Equestria again.
Fun With the Canterlot Upper Class (Extended Version)
I give a wide yawn as I sit up in bed, stretching.
I rub my eyes before turning to look out the window. The sky is cloudy and the snow is still blanketing the world.
I sigh, slumping back against my pillow.
Man, what am I gonna do today. There’s only so many things one can really do during winter. The Crusaders and I have made snowpegasi, we’ve had snowball fights, played snow fort, gone sledding.
It’s all getting kinda boring for me, really. I want winter to end so things can move on already.
I’m pulled out I’ve my suckling by a sudden flash of blue light.
I close my eyes and when I open them, find a scroll laying in my lap. The surprising thing is that it has Princess Luna’s seal, a crescent moon.
What could the Princess of the Night want to talk to me about?
I levitate the scroll and unfurl it.
Dear Screwball Rich,
You are invited to Canterlot for lunch with myself. There are certain matters I wish to discuss with you and Twilight Sparkle.
Please come alone. This is a matter I wish to keep very private.
Your Princess of the Night and friend,
Luna.
I blink a few times, frowning. Certain matters? What the heck does that mean?
Shrugging and deciding I’ll find out when I meet with the princess, I get up and leave, heading downstairs.
To my disappointment, Spoiled is sitting at the table eating something that honestly looks like grains, but not the tasty kind.
“Breakfast, Miss Screwball,” Randolph says, laying a plate in front of me. It has scrambled eggs, hay bacon (I still think it’s okay, but personally prefer the real deal), Prench toast and a glass of chocolate milk.
At once Spoiled gives a loud sniff.
“And what’s your problem?” I ask, giving her a sideways glance. I know, dumb question. What isn’t her problem is the more accurate thing to ask.
She sniffs again. “I just pity you. Considering what you eat, I doubt you’ll have a fine body when you’re a mare.”
“What, like yours, Mrs Upturned Nose?” I shot back. “You do realize you’re the only pony in all of Equestria with a nose like that, right?”
She smirks. “I know. Other ponies wish they could have my looks.”
“Only if they’re totally brain-dead,” I snort. “Or blind.”
She scowls at me. “Oh? I’ll have you know I’ve spoken with nobles who find me very attractive.”
“You or your money?” I sneer, using my magic to spread some butter on one of my slices of Prench toast. “Anyway, I don’t have such an ugly nose, yet I’ve been summon to meet with Princess Luna about something important.”
Her eyes widen. “Princess Luna summoned you?” then she sneers. “Probably finally convinced her sister you need to be turned to stone.”
I give her a deadpan look. “I really hope Tirek takes your magic before the Mane 6 stop him.”
She blinks, confusion playing across her face. “Huh?”
I don’t respond and just eat my breakfast, ignoring her the whole time.
After it’s become clear to her (though it took several minutes of my ignoring her to finally get it) she starts telling me how I need to freshen up my look.
“You can’t go meet the princess looking like that,” she says, indicating to my hair and beanie.
“Why?” I ask through a mouthful of Prench toast. “You meet other ponies looking like that,” I indicate to her, more specifically that nose.
She gapes, before glaring at me. “How dare you? You think you can insult me, your own mother, in my own home?”
“Uh... yeah,” I shrug, finishes off my breakfast, licking the chocolate milk mustache off my upper lip. My eyes narrow slightly. “And you still don’t have any right to call yourself my mother.”
She sputters, clearly unable to find words.
I smirk. “I’d love to stay and chat some more, but I’ve got an important meeting to attend. Later, loser.”
The look on her face just before I teleport away, priceless.
I reappear outside the gates of Canterlot. I nod to the two white Earth Pony guards standing out front.
I’ll give them credit, they don’t flinch. However, they’re eyes narrow.
“How did you do that?” the one on the right asks.
I grin. “Chaos Magic. Discord put it in me when he was out. Too bad for him I’ve a mind of my own.”
Their spears are pointed at me right after I mention the master of chaos.
I roll my eyes. “Really, guys, if I was a threat, would I have appeared in front of you like this? Also,” a small flash later and their spears have turned into gingerbread, “I just told you I’ve Chaos Magic. You’ll really think spears are gonna do any good against me?”
They look to each other, clearly unsure what to do.
A thought of what I can do to kill time til my lunch with Princess Luna and Twilight pops into my head and I smirk. “Would you guys like to see me cause trouble for two stuck up unicorns?”
Say what you will, when it comes to Canterlot unicorns, Earth Ponies still hold a slight grudge against them, even now, at least when it comes to the stuck up ones.
They both blink, glancing at each other again.
“Would it help if I told you they’ll be Jet Set and Upper Crust?”
That does it. The look in their eyes tells me they’d love to see those two snobs get some just desserts. I’m gonna guess those two have wronged these guards or those they know personally in past.
They grin, stepping back to allow me to pass. “Welcome to Canterlot, Miss...”
“Screwball and I’ll bring some viewing crystals so you can watch it all play out when I’m done,” I call back as I walk through the gates, returning their spears to normal.
The snickers I hear tell me I may have just made some new friends in the Canterlot Guard.
Doing a quick aura search, I find the location of the two snobbish unicorns at a very fancy-looking cafe.
Donning a disguise by simply making my mane and tail similar to Diamond’s, making my beanie disappear and changing my Cutie Mark to look like a gemstone, I walk into the cafe and sit down at a table close by.
A waiter comes over and I decide to do the kind thing and order one of the most expensive of their smallest desserts. Don’t wanna spoil my appetite before lunch with Luna, do I?
As the waiter leaves, I decide to hear what’s being said by the snobs.
“... still cannot believe Fancy Pants liked that dress,” Jet Set was saying, sounding horrified. “It was so... plain! How is he the most fashion-forward pony in Canterlot if he thinks that was a good dress?”
“And saying how those... those... ponies,” it’s clear she wanted to use some other word but couldn’t find one she could say in public, “were wonderful to meet? How can such uncouth ponies from a farming town be considered better company than ponies such as us?” she finishes, tossing her mane back with a flourish.
Gee, I have no idea why Fancy would think that way. You seem like such wonderful characters.
Suddenly a waiter comes over with what they clearly ordered. “Your Caldo verde soup and chthonian tea, sir and madam.”
He places a bowl of soup and fancy glasses in front of them both.
Smirking, I wait til they had a few tastes of their orders, before using a little Chaos Magic on Upper Crust’s soup.
She lifts her spoon up to her mouth (even her sips sound snobbish). A second later, her eyes widen and she opens her mouth, a torrent of flames shooting fourth.
She grabs her tea in her magic and chugs it down in a very undignified manner.
I snicker as Jet Set looks to his wife in confusion. “What was that about?”
“Th-the soup!” Upper Crust rasps, pointing to the bowl with an offending hoof. “It... it suddenly became ridiculously spicy. I felt like my tongue was literally on fire.”
It kinda was for those brief seconds she was breathing out the stuff.
The stallion gives the mare an uncertain look. “And you didn’t notice until just then? You’ve been enjoying that soup for half a minute.”
The mare just scowls at him, pushing the bowl over to him. “See for yourself!”
Giving his wife an eye-roll, Jet Set levitates a spoon to the soup and takes a sip, only to shudder.
“Spicy? That’s far too salty! How did you manage to eat any of this?”
Upper Crust frowns, taking another spoonful, before grimacing. “What... what’s going on? Now it taste like... ugh. I don’t even know what to say it tastes like, but it’s awful!”
“Waiter!” Jet Set calls, his tone filled with annoyance.
The waiter who served them comes back over. “Yes, sir?”
Jet Set points to the offending dish. “What is the meaning of this? The soup my wife has received is awful.”
The waiter cocks an eyebrow, before levitating a small spoon out of the breast pocket of his suit, puts it in Upper Crust’s soup and takes a sip. The frown on his face deepens. “The soup is just fine, sir and madam.”
“Fine?!” Upper Crust almost yells, though keeps her voice low when she realizes she’s in a public place. “My tongue was fried by this soup, then my husband tries it and it’s too salty. What kind of sick joke are you all playing at?”
The waiter just continues to frown at them. “Our food is some of the finest in Canterlot. We do not make mistakes and have not this time. Your soup is perfectly fine.”
“Are you insane?!” Upper Crust growls, getting up. “Dear, we’ve leaving. We’ll find an establishment with real food.”
A cough from the waiter gets their attention. “Regardless of you impressions of the food, madam, you and your husband will still need to pay for what you ordered.”
“For this dreck?!” Upper Crust scoffs, lifting her bit purse from her saddlebag. “We’ll pay for the teas and nothing more!”
As she levitated the bits out to pay, however, I snicker.
At once, the bits grow tiny feathered wings and flutter out of her magical grip.
She just stares, mouth open as the bits fly away.
“I... bu...” She looks to the two stallions, Jet Set wearing just as shocked an expression as her, however the waiter is just giving her a deadpan look. “Didn’t you see that?!” she demands, pointing up to where her money is flying away.
The waiter just snorts. “Madam, do not try to distract me just so that you can get out of paying.”
Upper Crust scowls whilst Jet Set looks to him as if he's crazy. “I am not avoiding paying!” she uses her magic, grabbing several more bits and tosses them at the waiter, who catches them in his aura.
"Please leave, madam,” he says sternly. “And, for future reference, never return. We will not serve customers who cause problems for no reason.”
“No reason?!” Upper Crust’s right eye twitches.
Her husband seems to be the smart one as he pulls her aside and they leave.
I finish of the chocolate crest I ordered, pay the waiter and quickly move to follow them.
As I expected, they go to another restaurant, The Golden Horse Shoe and order from there.
I take a seat a little away and use a Deterrent Spell so nopony questions why I’m sitting at the table and not ordering anything.
As I watch them eating what have to be the most elaborate looking salads I’ve ever seen, I notice they looking at two couples not too far off.
The first is a pair of mare, one a unicorn, the other and Earth Pony. they’re both drinking from the same glass, something I’d think more attuned to a bar or malt shop instead of a fancy eatery, but who am I to judge relationships?
The other is a coltcuddler pair and, if their builds are anything to go by, I’d guess they’re in the Royal Guard. They’re both eating the same salad, even feeding each other.
Yeah, it sounds sappy, but I can’t help thinking it’s sweet, too.
However, from the looks Jet Set and Upper Crust are giving them, it’s clear they think it’s an affront to nature.
So, they think being attracted to the same sex is wrong, huh?
I frown, rubbing my chin with a hoof. How can I work this? Making them fall in love with the same gender would seem kinda cruel, cos it would mean having to alter the one the loved.
They may be stuck up jerks, but even they don’t deserve to have their true soul mate taken away.
I could turn one into the opposite gender, I guess, but then the other is still kinda getting off scot-free in comparison. If only I could have them remain a couple while they were both different genders...
I blink, before smirking. Oh, that is too good. Discord would probably be very impressed by this one.
A little touch of magic to their food and done.
Hold up! For those who read this before, the author made some changes to this chapter cos i wasn't finsihed with my fun.
Enjoy,
Screwball
I watch as they take forkfuls of their salad and eat them. Let the real fun begin.
Jet Set munched on the crisp leaf of his salad, pausing only momentarily when he felt an odd tingling sensation in his mouth before continuing.
However, as he levitates his fork up something felt... off.
Was it his imagination or was the bowl on his right when before it was on his left?
He shook his head. It was probably nothing. He levitated the fork to his mouth and took a bite. However, as he chewed, he moved the fork back towards the salad— only to spit the salad out in shock, spraying the table.
His aura, it...
He shook his head and rubbed his eyes, thinking he was just imagining it, but... no. it was still there. His aura wasn’t its light grey anymore. It had turned a turquoise-green like Upper Crust’s.
“Dear, what in the world is wrong... with you?”
His hear whirled to his side, before his eyes widened in horror. Staring back at him with equal amounts of horror was... himself.
“Wh-what am I doing there?!” he cried, only for his blood to go cold. That had not been his voice. It was Upper Crust’s voice.
Looking done, he felt the starts of a panic attack coming on. His fur was no longer grey, but yellow and he was now wearing a white shirt under a pink sweater tied around his neck, while also wearing pearls on his neck.
However, the most damning thing of all, was what he saw between his, or rather, her legs.
To say Upper Crust was shocked to hear her own voice would be an understatement, though it was nothing to compared to turning around and seeing herself staring back with wide eyes.
Glancing over herself, she realized she was not as the one across from her appeared. Her fur was now grey and she was wearing a golfing green shirt with a white sweater tied around her neck. Down bellow, however, was the biggest shock.
Now, out of the couple, she was the one able to keep a level head in any given situation, no matter the drama. Turning, Upper Crust looked to the mare who was clearly her husband somehow in her own body, as she logically had come to the conclusion that she was somehow in his, who was starting to hyperventilate, early signs of Jet Set’s panic attacks.
“N-now, now, dear,” she said, trying not to become creeped out as she heard her husband’s voice say what she meant to. “Let’s not hung around.”
“Not often you see Jet Set taking the lead,” one mare whispered from within the crowd as they got up and Upper Crust let her husband lean against her as they moved out of the restaurant.
Neither of them noticed the little pink filly giggling as she watched them leave, a wicked smirk on her lips and a glint in her eyes.
I silently follow after them, and as we leave, I get a wicked idea.
I can see “Jet Set” talking to the pony out front whilst also trying to keep “Upper Crust” calm.
As they move to leave, the sound of a fart fills the air.
Everypony at once looks around for the source, the two body-swapped ponies blushing profusely as they were able to tell the sound had come from them, even though neither had let one rip.
They quickly leave, ever fifth step resulting in another farting sound.
I can barely contain my laughter as I float after them the spell around myself still keeping others from noticing me.
They move quickly, however, and the constant sound of farts actually goes from being funny, to quite annoying really fast, so I remove that.
It is still funny seeing “Upper Crust” freaking out though. Though, by the way “Jet Set” is taking the lead to try and get them away, my theory about the wife of the couple calling the shots seems justified.
The fun only gets better though. As we move quickly into the Upper Class area of Canterlot, a pair of tall alabaster unicorns walk around the corner and I get a shit-eating-grin even bigger.
Fancy Pants and Fleur Dis Lee! Oh, this is too good! Can't wait for them to spring that little surprise I went back in time a few seconds ago to do. I just hope they'll hold off telling them until after I've had my extra little bit of fun.
They both notice the body-swapped unicorns and move over to them, which causes me to frown slightly. Guess Fancy hasn’t quite figured out these two are jerks yet... which is odd, since the events of Sweet and Elite have already passed according to the CMC.
“I say, Jet Set, Upper Crust,” he says once the quartet are close enough together. “I must say, I wasn’t expecting to see your around here today.”
“Oh, uh, yes,” “Jet Set” stutters, glancing down at the pony leaning into “his” shoulder. “We, uh, felt we’ve had a bit more excitement than we planned today, so we’re going home.”
I smirk, shifting into human form, a keyboard appearing in front of me and start typing.
"Yes, well, that's because my tiny little nipples went to Prance," "Jet Set" said, before blinking.
"Um... come again?" Fleur asks, looking at him uncertainly.
The mare in a stallion's body coughs and I went back to typing. "Sorry. Things have been odd since I do the Cha Cha like a sissy girl."
There's silence between the four unicorns, though there is not silence completely. I'm cacking myself. Sure, I just copied the lines from Bruce Almighty, but to make Upper Crust say them whilst in her husband's body and to unciorns like Fleur and Fancy Pants. It's too much.
“We’re... we had a bit of a situation, so we’re going home to get some rest,” “Jet Set” says, glancing around anxiously. "Which I think I'll definitely need. Seems it got to me more than I thought."
“Well... I can imagine,” Fancy says, hesitantly at first, which isn't surprising considering what the pony before him had been saying, before speaking in a serious tone, closing his eyes. “Frankly, I’m surprised you even came out after what happened with the papers.”
Both swapped unicorns look to him uncertainly.
“The... papers?” “Upper Crust” whispers. “Wh-what... what about them?”
“Well,” Fancy says hesitantly, levitating a newspaper out of one of Fleur’s saddlebags and gives it to them.
They both open it, only for their eyes to widen in horror and I’m rolling around in the air, my hooves over my zipped mouth to stop myself from bursting out laughing, whilst also trying not to pee myself laughing.
Each page of the paper is covered in baby photos of both Jet Set and Upper Crust and, instead of news stories and headlines, they’re headlines about the photos and the stories behind them.
That seems to be both snobby unicorns’ breaking point as their eyes roll into the back of their heads and they drop to the ground, I’m laughing so hard I don’t pay mind as Fancy Pants levitates the two and they hurry off towards the Canterlot General.
Once I’ve finally managed to get my laughter under control, I take a deep breath, let it out, then conjure up to viewing crystals. A quick flicker of magic and they’ve got everything I’ve seen recorded and I teleport them to the guard by the gates to the city.
They’ll really have a good laugh with them, I even added commentary by Morgan Freeman so they’d know about the body swap.
Giggling again as I think about how much they’ll enjoy their gifts, I sigh and turn towards Canterlot Castle. That was fun, glad I found something good to kill some time.
And, don’t worry. I’m not leaving those two swapped. The moment they wake up they’ll be back in their own bodies again.
Still, since I’m in this area of Canterlot and remember the faces of several background snob ponies from the series, I can still have a little fun on my way to the castle, can’t I?
Two Hearts to Mend; Talk About a Brain Bend.... Okay, that was lame. I’m the Princess of Chaos; you’d think I could come up with something better than that!
Two Hearts to Mend; Talk About a Brain Bend.... Okay, that was lame. I’m the Princess of Chaos; you’d think I could come up with something better than that!
I giggle as I float through the halls in the direction of where Princess Luna said to meet her. On my way here I had a nice bit of a fun with some of the other so-called nobles. Plus, hoping into that alternate universe to help Twi and Fluttershy with the memory problem was nice. Twi is even cuter as a foal than I’d thought she’d be!
Anyway, with all that out of the way, I don’t really have much else to stall me til I find Luna. Strange. I feel like there’s a pony here I’ve wanted to get even with for a while, but I can’t remember who—?
“Is there anything else you require, Your Highness,” a mare’s voice pulls me from my thoughts.
“No. I’ll... that’ll all. Be on your way and... have a nice day.”
My eyes widen as I recognize the voice. He only ever spoke in the season one finale, but I cannot forget that voice.
A smirk forms on my lips and I make myself invisible as a yellow Earth Pony mare with a blue mane, wearing a maids outfit, steps out from a nearby door and moves of down the hall, a disheartened expression on her face.
Scowling at the idea he did something to upset this mare who was just doing her job, I phase through the closed door, ready to pull the nastiest prank I can think of on Prince Blueballs. Maybe I’ll turn him into a mare and make it so she has to go around the palace presenting herself like it’s heat season.
Or maybe I’ll make him think he looks like a mare and just watch the hilarity unfold as he tries to make his way to Celestia to try and get her to fix it, leaving everypony that sees him to wonder why he’s acting so weird.
But, those plans are halted the moment I lay eyes on the jerk and my brain struggles to understand what I’m seeing.
The white coat, blond mane and compass Cutie Mark confirm the lout laying on the bed is Blueblood, but that’s where the similarities abruptly end.
He has a forlorn expression on his muzzle, as if the world itself is too horrible for him to bear. And as for the condition of himself and his room? I’d say complete pigsty, but I’ve been to Sweet Apples Acres, and their pigsty is pristine compared to what I’m seeing.
Clothing is cast about all over the floor, boxes of fancy chocolates and, I have to rub my eyes several times to make sure I’m not imagining it, fast food takeout boxes and wrappers all over the place.
The bed is unkempt and its occupant is no better. Whereas his hair and coat were trimmed to perfection in Best Night Ever, the Blueblood I’m looking at’s mane and tail look more like an old broom than that of a prince and his fur is mated and covered in stains.
He honestly looks like a stereotypical girl who was dumped by their jerk of a boyfriend. And yeah, the irony of that, considering who we’re talking about here, is not lost on me.
“I’m such a stupid fool!” Blueblood wails in a way that reminds me a lot of Rarity, now that I think about it, as he rolls over onto his back, before tumbling off the bed.
I watch him wade through the debris over to a vanity with a mirror. He plops himself down in front of it, laying his head on the tabletop, looking depressingly at himself.
“Why?” he asks, sounding, to be honest, pitiful. “That time. The one time a mare is interested in you for something that isn’t strictly to do with your money and you treat her like you do all the others.” He puts his hooves over his face. “Lady Rarity, how did I not realize it? You were the one mare who...” he sighs, before his body just seems to deflate. “And now she thinks of me like many do the rest of the elite. How fitting.”
I just float there, watching with wide eyes. This isn’t the Blueblood from season one. Far from it. The guy actually seems to be upset that he’s made Rarity hate him.
After several moments, I manage to shake it off and fold my forehooves, frowning. I can’t just leave this alone, not now I’ve seen him in this state. That’d be heartless.
But the timeline! my brain shouts at me. If you somehow find a way to make RarBlood a thing, won’t that mess with the timeline? You could doom Equestria!
What, and leave Blueblood to fall into an even worse depression, maybe even suicidal? Not a chance.
Though, the question is, how to go about this? I could just use my Chaos Magic and make them a thing now, but they would be too close to what Discord did with changing the Mane 6 to their opposites at the beginning of season two.
No, I’d need to get the two of them together in a room, or somewhere private, where they could work things out. But how to do that? Rarity hates Bluey’s guts right now and bringing him to Ponyville to meet her is more likely to have any mares in Ponyville trying to woo him for the reasons his just made clear were what he thought Rarity was doing and thus make everything pointless.
I inwardly shudder, realizing Spoiled might try something like that or, even worse, try getting Diamond or I betrothed to him for when we come of age. I wouldn’t put such a thing past her. It’d be me most likely, so she could get me out of her hair... though that would no doubt backfire with the political power I’d gain over her.
I shake the thoughts from my mind, before glancing down at a watch I make appear on my right foreleg and see my lunch with the Princess and Twilight will be any minute, before a light bulb goes off above my head.
The sudden illumination causes Blueblood to glance up in confusion, but I’ve thankfully eaten the light bulb after turning it into a chocolate egg, so he doesn’t see it and suspect something’s up.
Grinning to myself, I phase back out the door and hurry off to find Luna and Twilight. Whatever important thing they have to talk to me about, I’ve something too.
“I hope Screwball’s willing to listen,” Twilight mutters, fiddling with her hooves anxiously. “This... I never thought of it before, but...”
Luna nodded, looking just as uncertain. “Indeed. After reading in as far as I have... I am quite anxious to hear her opinion.”
Suddenly, loud trumpets blared out of nowhere and a guard who looked oddly familiar just appeared in the middle of the room.
“Announcing her Royal Highness, Screwball, Princess of Chaos,” he called out, before turning into smoke and fading away.
The moment the smoke was gone, the double doors to the room burst open and a long red carpet barrelled in, before setting on the ground.
Finally, a pink filly wearing a propeller beanie floated in as cheers rang out from nowhere and she blew kissing, calling out, “Thank you, thank you. Oh, you’re too kind. Too kind.”
Whilst Twilight stared with a perplexed expression, Princess Luna deadpanned. “I see you enjoy theatrics as much as Discord.”
All the cheering suddenly stopped and the carpet vanished with a pop. Screwball shrugged. “What can I say? When you can make a big entrance, why not do it?”
Luna closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, before looking to the pink filly. “Very well. Now that you’ve gotten that out of your system, can we talk?”
“Sure,” the filly grinned, leaping into the air and swam-diving through her chair, before reappearing on it. “So, what’s the word, Lulu?”
Luna’s eyes widened and her cheeked flushed at the mention of her sister’s nickname for her, whilst Twilight cocked an eyebrow. “Lulu?”
Screwball giggled, despite the glare the Night Princess sent the filly’s way.
Luna coughed, trying to regain her posture. “Yes, well, in answer to your question: Twilight and I have been meaning to ask you about this,” she lit her horn and levitated a book up for Screwball to see. A book with a black mare with a starry mane on the front cover.
Any mirth the filly was expressing suddenly stopped, her expression becoming serious, causing the two mares to flinch. “What about it? You’ve read it, right?”
They both nodded, Luna glancing at the book with a sad expression. “Whomever this Penstroke is, I wish I could meet him. True, some details are clearly false and do not match with our world, but, others...”
Screwball looked to Twilight. “I’m assuming you’re here because you were telling Luna about how you never realize your relationship with Spike?”
Twilight looked down, her ears splayed back. “I... I never even considered it, really. I mean, I’ve always cared so much for Spike, Celestia, I raised him from a hatchling, but... reading those words in this story, about my being like his mom? It... Screwball, I never would’ve considered it, but... but...”
The filly nodded. “Now that the idea has been presented, you can’t ignore it.”
The purple mare nodded meekly.
Screwball sighed, looking to the Lunar Princess. “And I have a good idea what you’re gonna ask me, right, Luna?”
The Alicorn looked down, a wistful air in her eyes. “In that story... Twilight Sparkle becomes the mother of the filly created from my darker self. But, I... I was wondering if, if it’s at all possible...”
The filly sighed, before giving the princess a very firm look. “I will think about it, Luna. And only to give you more time to consider what you’d be getting yourself into as well. You can’t do what the Twilight in that book does,” she indicated to said book. “You can’t hide the filly’s origins of what spurred her creation.
“On top of that, you will need to be careful. There are ponies out there who I know will be more than happy to accept her as your daughter, but there are others who will not, especially among the nobles.”
A steely expression came over the Moon Princess. “If they want to harm her in anyway, they will have to go through me,” she snarled.
Screwball smirked. “Glad to hear that. And Twilight?” the purple mare looked to her. “I look forward to seeing how you handle being a mom now that you know you are one.”
Twilight pouted and puffed out her cheeks, causing the other two to giggle.
Once their giggles had settled, Luna looked to Screwball with a thankful expression. “Thank you, Screwball. That is one of many weights off my mind.”
The filly nodded, though Luna could’ve sworn she saw pity glitter in the Earth Pony’s swirling eyes for a second. But Screwball just grinned and put her hooves on the table.
“Okay. If that’s all, I have something I wanna talk to you about to, Luna.”
The Alicorn blinked, a bit taken aback. Before she could speak however, Twilight's eyes widened and she turned to Screwball with a worried look. “Screwball, please tell me you didn't bring Nyx into the real world?”
The filly looked to the unicorn, confused. “Huh?”
“I just remembered that, a while before you came out of the hospital, a filly matching the filly in that book, ” she indicated to the book in front of the Moon Princess, “who went by the name Nyx was in Ponyville. Please, tell me you didn't just yank her from that book somehow and leave her here without warning.”
Screwball blinked, looked annoyed for a second, then smirked. “Oh, you mean this filly?” There was a flash of light and suddenly, where Screwball had been sitting there now was the filly whom called the FlimFlam brothers out sitting in her place. "Yeah, that was me."
Luna's eyes were slightly wider, whilst Twilight's right eye twitched. “But... B-but how? That was before Discord unintentionally cured you. How could you...? And why would you...?” Her eyes narrowed. "Wait. You knew that was going to happen. How?"
“Um... we are lost. What are you two speaking of again?” Luna asked, looking very puzzled.
The filly just grinned at the unicorn as she changed back to her normal appearance and leaned back in her chair, her forelegs behind her head. “Yeah. Like I said back then, I did that cos o’ part of that event that always bugged me. And no, Twilight, that wasn’t the me who was still in hospital. That was me during this winter.”
Twilight opened her mouth to argue, when she paused, looking confused. “Wait. How...? Wait, you mean...? Screwball, that’s not possible. You’d have needed to go back in time to do that.”
The filly just gave a wry smile.
Twilight’s eyes widened in both shock and horror. “You can Time Travel?”
Screwball rolled her eyes. “Um, duh, Twilight. Thought that would be pretty obvious. I’ve Chaos Magic, remember? Discord took you back in time, so it isn’t that big a stretch that I can do similar things.”
Twilight opened her mouth, a glare in her expression, before it faded to confusion. “Wait. Discord took me back in time? When?”
The filly rolled her eyes. “When he took you back to when he gave you and the others the clue as to where he’d hidden the Elements? He just made it so neither of you could interfere with the past whilst you were there. In fact, a bet the past him sensed his future self when he did that, hence why he was so cocky throughout it all.”
Twilight blinked a few times, before a worried look entered her eyes. “B-but, if Discord can travel in time, why didn’t he just spot Princess Celestia and Princess Luna from defeating him a thousand years ago?”
“Please, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna said, sounding a little disappointed, causing the mare to look to her. “Discord cannot change the past. Even he knew he could not do so.”
“There’s the kind of chaos he and I can do with our magic,” Screwball continued on for the princess, “and there’s the chaos of a Time Paradox. Even he can’t handle that.”
Twilight looked uncertainly between the two. “So, let me just get this clear; if Discord somehow managed to escape his stone prison again, he wouldn’t go back in time to stop us from defeating him or, say, make it so we were never born?”
The filly gave Twilight an odd look. “Jeez, Twilight. Never took you for the grim-thinking type.” Then she smiled. “And, nah. Don’t worry. Next time Discord’s out, he won’t go back in time.”
Twilight sighed with relief, before her eyes widened in horror. “Wait. You mean he will get out someday?!”
“Yeah, but that’s not important. Princess,” the filly grinned, turning to the Alicorn and ignoring Celestia’s student. “About what I was gonna say before the topic turned to my skipping through time?”
Luna blinked, before shaking her head and nodding. “Oh, um, yes. Very well. What does thou wish to speakest to us about?” she asked, slipping into her old way of talking for a moment due to the suddenness.
A twinkle flickered in the filly’s eyes as a smirk formed on her lips. “I was wondering if you’d be willing to invite Rarity to dinner or lunch sometime? Plus one other.”
Celestia sighed as she walked into her bedroom, ready for a good night’s rest.
The day had been... unusual, to say the least. Not bad, quite amusing, really, but unusual, none the less.
The first oddity was when she’d gotten that day’s newspaper. Instead of any news stories, it had been filled with the foal pictures of two nobles named Jet Set and Upper Crust.
She did not understand the reasoning for it, but she’d just shrugged it off and tried to move on with her day.
However, the paper wasn’t the only oddity she’d encountered that day. For some reason, several nobles found that stank of something horrid, yet, no matter what they did or spells were used on them, the stench on them remained. She herself had managed to dispel whatever was the matter, but it was still a puzzler.
One noble whom Celestia new took great care in his appearance came in incredibly fat.
A rather interesting one was when several nobles’ mares with very over the top manestyles came in, Celestia was treated to something she had not encountered for over five hundred years, as the mares’ mane starting shouting things as if they were town criers. And what that were shouting were none too flattering, making it very hard for her to keep her expression neutral whilst sorting the matter out.
And finally, she had been told very odd stories by at least twelve nobles (though the impact of them was the tiniest bit lessened by the Mane Criers). Their clothes had been talking about them with each other, as in the clothes talked amongst themselves about the ponies wearing them and, like with the manes, their words were not very polite.
“Fun day?”
Celestia paused, before glancing over her shoulder, a wry smile forming on her lips. “I should’ve figured you were behind all that.”
The floating pink filly with spiral eyes just chuckled. “It was funny though, right?”
Celestia gave a light chuckle. “Yes. It was quite amusing indeed, even if it held things up today.”
“Just trying to give the pony that looked after this land all on her own for a thousand years a little bit of fun,” Screwball merely shrugged as she floated over the bed, then rested her chin on her hooves. “And I know you’ll be making your own fun in time, Celly.”
The princess gave a wry frown. “Just don’t make a habit of this, Screwball. I don’t want to have to deal with the nobility demanding action against you.”
The filly snorted. “Like they could do anything even if they tried.” A frown formed on the Alicorn’s face and the pink pony rolled her eyes. “Fine.” Then she smiled. “G’night, Celly.”
There was a pop and Screwball was gone.
Celestia gave a small chuckle, before removing her vestments. Settled into her bed and went to sleep.
“Winter wrap up, winter wrap up,” I sing cheerfully and quietly as I bounce along the fields, helping the Crusaders with planting some seeds.
Today is the last day of Winter Wrap Up and I’m quite glad it’s almost over. Doing all this without my magic is nowhere near as fun as it should be.
Yes. You didn’t hear wrong, I said the last day of, not just the day before Spring.
Seems the show wasn’t quite accurate on that. Winter Wrap Up doesn’t happen all in one day. It happens over the last month, starting from the second week of February, with everypony doing their part, all without magic.
I’d almost gotten Diamond to join me in helping wrap up winter, but, as you might be able to guess, Spoiled spoiled that chance by enforcing on Diamond how it is beneath ponies of their stature to be like work horses to bring in winter.
Lovely to know she thinks so little about Earth Pony tradition and heritage when she is an Earth Pony.
Now, whilst the show was wrong in that winter gets wrapped up all in one day, it was right in that things were going way too slowly until Twilight steps in and starts organizing everypony.
That’s what’s happening right now, which is why I’m finding doing Winter Wrap Up without magic no fun, due to us having to hurry things to make up for lost time, whilst also not ruining anything due to the hastiness.
With today being the last day to wrap up winter on time, we’re all really having to push it. I decided to sing a little to see if that could boast moral and from the way everypony’s moving along, it’s clear it’s working, with a good number doing the same.
After my meeting with Luna and Twilight, I've spent the last couple days thinking it over and waiting for Luna to give me her full decision. whilst waiting, though, I've also had a bit of fun. I learned I could pop into the worlds of story books. It felt really good clocking Mr. Wormwood and The Trunchbul from Matilda.
By late afternoon, we are finally done, with winter being completely wrapped up and just on time.
Whilst everypony else is cheering simply because they finished winter and on time, I’m cheering as I bounce up into the air and hover because I can now use my magic again. Man, it feels good.
Once everypony has chatted amongst themselves, we all part ways to finish our person matters for the day. I decide to just go home. Maybe I could pull a prank on Spoiled before the day is out.
But what could I do? I really wanna give her a fright for not letting Diamond join in with Winter Wrap Up; she really wanted to hang out with me, but Spoiled had put a stop to that.
Hmm. If only I could do something that would really freak her out something fierce. But, what? I could go with the Headless horse, maybe even carry my head with me, but that feels too cliché. If only I could...
A wicked smirk forms on my lips. “This is going to be good.”
Spoiled glared out the window as the sun sunk a bit lower down the horizon. Where was that abomination?
Sure, she felt no love for the retched beast she is forced call her daughter, but she didn’t feel comfortable knowing she was still out there. As much as she feared the beast would attack her any time it was home, she preffered having it nearby, if only to keep it under observation and make sure it didn’t bring harm to anypony else.
She knew one day it would bring the end of Equestria. The princesses and those stupid Element Bearers were fools to trust she wouldn’t. It was only a matter of time. She was quite honestly surprised that the beast hadn’t freed that Chaos Spirit that spawned her in the first place.
There was a cough from behind, followed by, “Madam?”
Spoiled turned around to see Randolph standing next to the small table she’d chosen to sit at and eat alone tonight. “Your dinner, ma’am.”
Spoiled huffed, turning to glare out the window again. “Foolish old goat. How can I eat when that monster is still out there?”
“You mean Miss Screwball? She asked me to wish you a pleasant night before heading off to bed.”
Spoiled blinked, before whirling around to face the elder stallion. “She’s back? When?”
“Just a few moments ago, Miss,” Randolph he simply replied. “She appeared in the kitchen whilst I was fetching your dinner. She grab some food from the fridge and floated upstairs. Something about not wanting to lose her head before the night was out.”
Spoiled mulled that over, before sniffing. Well, if it meant the beast was safely inside and she wasn’t going to have to deal with her ridiculous antics until at least tomorrow, all the better.
“Leave me, then,” she huffed, walking over to the table and sitting herself down. “I should like to eat alone.”
The worthless older pony bowed, before trotting out.
Spoiled looked to the silver dish covering her meal and took a sniff of the air, getting a very exotic, but delicious smelling scent filling her nose as a result.
Curious as to what fine foreign delicacy she was rightfully being treated to tonight, she closed her eyes and lifted up the lid, set it aside and opened her eyes to see what was awaiting her.
At once she let out a high, ear-piercing scream of terror.
At first she thought it was her precious Diamond’s, but now she can see it’s the chaos beast’s. Her head was sitting in the middle of the platter, a pool of red underneath and her tongue sticking.
“Why didn’t you love me?” the disembodied head asked, blank eyes turning to stare right into Spoiled’s own, chilling her to the bone. “Children can’t live without a mother’s love. Why didn’t you love me?”
Spoiled had backed herself against the wall. She tried to call out, to scream for help, but it was like her voice had left her. All she could do was stare in horror at the head of her second spawn, somehow alive, despite having no body.
Her right eye twitched frantically as her heart pounded in her chest. Who did this? When? How? She’d be blamed for it. She knew she would. She had to figure out how to cover this up. She needed to find a scapegoat, somepony to take the fall.
Suddenly, she was yanked from her inner thoughts by the sound of... laughter?
Focusing again on the table, she saw the disembodied head rolling from side to side, laughing hysterically. At the same time, she screamed when she saw something she was certain would haunt her nightmares til the end of her days.
From under the carpet, within cupboards, draws or under cushions, even behind the sofa, body parts that looked like they belonged to the chaos beast rolled or crawled out and towards the table.
Once every body part was at the table, they all lifted into the air, and came together, before landing standing up on the table. The forelegs reached down and picked up the head, before placing it on the neck, screwing sounds following as it adjusted the position of the head.
“Gotcha,” it grinned.
Spoiled eyes rolled into the back of her head and the world went black.
I open my eyes and grin as I look around. I’m standing not too far from Crystal Prep, relishing in my latest prank on Principal Cinch. In includes a photo copier, cat guts and a walrus.
I stretch, before heading down the street.
“Wonder what I’ll do now,” I think out loud as I skip over a fallen box (which I then check, notice a filly Rainbow Dash in and teleport her into the proper fic).
I shrug. May as well see what’s going on with the version of myself from this world.
A snap of my fingers later and I’ve the latest phone, with my colour scheme, of course. I activate it and search the news from the time since I last was here. What I get is not quite what I was expecting.
“... Dr. Discord contacted Mrs. Spoiled Rich to find out why she hadn’t gotten her daughter to go through the surgery that would heal the poor child,” a female news woman was saying. “What was learned was not happy news. After finding out about her daughter’s condition, she indeed tried to have her scheduled for surgery, but later that very day received an anonymous email, threatening her and her family if she went through with the surgery or even brought knowledge about her daughter out to the public. Visiting her seemed to not incur the sender’s wrath, but it did trouble Mrs. Rich greatly that someone knew about her daughter’s condition and was willing to threaten herself and her family if she tried to make her better.”
The image suddenly changes to show the day I had visited the hospital, more over the security footage from that day. I can’t help smirking as I see what looks like a EQG version of Nyx walk out. Yeah, right. Like I was going to let myself get seen that easily.
“This young girl came to Doctor Discord, informing him of Lilac Rich’s condition and warning him someone was against the idea of the poor girl getting cured. An anonymous email to the doctor, to which the girl claimed was sent by herself, contained all the information on Lilac’s condition and the events leading up to the present time.
With this in mind, and Mrs. Rich’s permission, authorities did their best to trace the emails she had received threatening her family. The sender’s identity was a shock to all, though Doctor Discord had said he had been given a good idea and thus, whilst disappointed, was not completely surprised.”
The image changed to FilthyRich glaring at several policemen as they pushed him towards a police car.
“Filthy Rich, Spoiled’s own husband and Lilac’s father, had been the one sending the threatening emails,” the news woman continued. “After tracing the email, authorities went through all Filthy Rich’s past activity and it was found out that, for years, he has done everything he can to hide the fact that their second daughter not only was born with Unresponsive Wakefulness Syndrome, but that she even existed. When questioned under lie detector test, it was revealed that he didn’t want the world to know he had a daughter with Lilac’s condition for it would ruin his own reputation and loss him business.”
I snarl. A mirror reflection of his pony wife.
The image then changed to that of someone I wasn’t expecting to see. Button Mash’s mother. “It’s horrible that a father would even think that way,” she said, glaring into the camera. “Thinking of his children like that. He doesn’t deserve to call himself a father.”
The news woman returned to the screen. “upon further investigation, it has been found that Spoiled and Flithy’s first born child, Diamond Tiara’s social life, has been dominated by her father, with him even threatening to disown his daughter if she didn’t follow Filthy’s orders, including who she could and couldn’t be friends with, along with that, whether she wanted to or not, would follow him in buinses upon graduating. Filthy has been arrested and will face charges of child neglect, blackmailing his own wife and daughter, child endangerment, falsifying documents to keep his ill daughter unaided or even known to the public. He is under watch, is not allowed to interact with his wife or daughters and faces trial in three months.”
The image changed again, this time to show a still frame of Spoiled and Diamond heading into the hospital.
“Understandably, the news has shaken Spoiled Rich and Diamond Tiara. The young girl never even knew she had a sister until her father was arrested. Many would wish she had learned of her under better circumstances. The two have visited Lilac almost every day since Filthy’s arrest and Lilac will be heading in for the first step of her surgery tomorrow.”
The video ends and I move to the most recent one, which was a few days ago. What I see what the video starts makes no sense. It showed security footage of a room that was clearly a hospital room, with someone who is clearly Lilac sleeping in a hospital bed.
However, it’s the being dressed in some weird orange armour that looks like a clown outfit with a helmet, standing between the bed and a clearly angry Filthy Rich that confuses me.
As I watch the video, however, my confused frown turns into a smirk. Oh, this is going to be fun.
Ending the video, I turn off the phone and pocket it, before turning my head in a direction and snap my fingers.
Filthy smirked as he stopped in front of the door to that degenerate’s room. It had been child’s play to sneak in dressed as a doctor . A little touch of makeup and nobody realized it was him. He did have the look of a respectable and handsome man, after all.
Finding the right chemicals to blend into what he needed had been a bit tricky, but he’d managed to hide that retch from the world for years. It had just taken a bit of time and the final product was ready.
Under the guise of taking some medication to another patient, thus diverting any suspicions and likely connections and now he was at the door.
He picked up the syringe and the mixture. All he had to do was injected it into the IV drip and all his problems would be over. He couldn't afford to be in jail, not when Camp Everfree was so close to finally being in his grasp.
With the syringe in hand, Filthy opened the door, only to frown when he saw someone standing before the bed, facing him.
It was not so much the fact that someone was in the room, thus complicating matters for him, but more what they were wearing that caused him to frown.
They were wearing what looked like body armour of some kind, but it was colour-schemed wit oranges, purples and whites. A white and orange striped skirt covered around the person’s waist, which Filthy found very redundant as it was clear something like pants was being worn underneath. Around the wait was what looked like a belt of some kind, with a large square area where the buckle should be, the image of a baseball and a screw imprinted on the front.
On the person’s head they wore a biker’s helmet that looked like a jester’s hat, though their face was still hidden under a black visor. Under the visor, around the mouth area was a goofy looking smile.
“Halt!” they said, holding up a hand. The voice was female, that of a young girl.
He cocked up eyebrow. “And... just what are you suppose to be?”
The figure hopped up on one like and did the peace sign. “Wherever reality is dull and need of fun, bringing illogical to the logical, I am, Kamen Rider Chaos!”
Filthy only now took notice that this very oddly dressed stranger was the size of a teenager. Remembering his disguise, he gave an expression that should tell the child to stop playing around and that she needed to leave.
However, instead of the girl taking the hint, she moved into what Filthy recognized as a defensive stance. “You’ve caused this girl enough harm, Filthy Rich. To think I thought you'd be like my daddy. How wrong I was. I won’t let you destroy her life.”
Filthy’s eyes widened at the mentioning of his name. This ridiculously dressed person knew who he was? How? He’d looked in the mirror before coming over and not even recognized himself. After all, he was wearing such common attire. How could anyone recognize him wearing it, let alone with all the makeup he used to hide his appearance?
Then he growled. So what if this child knew who he was? Who’d believe someone dressed in such an over the top, ridiculous outfit saying they’d seen him do what he needed to do?
He moved to step forward and push the foolish girl aside, but the girl reached down to her belt and pulled out some kind of card, before putting it back down and slipping it into some kind of slot just behind the image on the belt, a strange computerized sound coming from it.
Prank ride, a deep voice, with what sounded like a Japaneighs accent said from nowhere. Switch.
Filthy looked around in confusion, before looking back to the girl. She’d called herself Kamen Rider Chaos, right?
Chaos nodded towards the syringe. Filthy looked down, only for his eyes to widen. Instead of the chemical mixture he’d created, inside the syringe he now saw what looked like...cookie dough?
The strange computerized sound happened again and he turned to Chaos, who’s belt front was glowing again, before she heard the voice again Prank ride: Cream Pie.
Before Filthy could understand what was happening, he was smashed from the side of the head by... a cream pie?
Wiping the cream from his eyes and looking to where the pie had come from, he saw no one. He, the retch and this Kamen Rider Chaos were the only ones in the room. So where had the pie come from?
Chaos took out another card, before doing as before, the voice responding, Prank ride: Wedgy!
Filthy barely held in his scream as he suddenly felt his underwear being yanked up into a very uncomfortable position.
Prank ride: Wet Pants.
Filthy felt his face flare with embarrassment as he felt himself peeing his pants, unable to figure out why or even seeming able to stop himself until he’d finished, a large stain on the front of his pants showing the evidence of urination.
He looked to Chaos with a fuming glare, but was stopped when the voice spoke once more. Prank ride: Rug Flip.
Filthy suddenly found a large red rug underneath him that was yanked out, causing him to topple over. He struggled to regain his focus as the three Kamen Rider Chaos in front of him wouldn't stand still.
Chaos chuckled, before taking out a card with the same image as the one on her belt, before putting it inside. Final Prank ride: Blow Mind.
The helmet glowed with an orange light, before disappearing, relieving the face of the one who dared to put her though all this.
...
Filthy blinked several times, before her eyes went wide. He looked from the bed, back to the one standing before him, who was grinning.
“Hi, Daddy,” said the girl with the face of the one lying in the bed, yet was standing before her. “Gotcha.”
Filthy's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he collapsed to the floor.
Filthy glared at the wall, refusing to turn around. How dare they do this to him. He was an important person in this town. How dare they put him in jail for doing what he had to do? Didn’t they understand it was necessary?
After he’d come to, he’d learned someone had found him unconscious in the hospital room. The police had been called and he’d been taken away, despite him trying to pin the blame on that Kamen Rider Chaos character.
Strangely, everyone acted like he was just blabbering, even though there was no way anyone could missed someone dressed up like that, especially in a hospital.
After the police had listened to him and told him how he’d broken the restraining order placed upon him that stated he wasn’t allowed within a hundred metres of his degenerate daughter, which was being added to his sentence when it finally came through, along with what they learned he’d planned to do in the degenerate’s bedroom.
Til then, he was stuck in this disgusting prison cell, in solitary confinement. At most, he'd be able to finally deal with Gloriosa and get Camp Everfree, but it could possibly be a short-lived victory if he didn't play his cards right. The floor was just rock and they didn’t even have scented shampoos or soups for him to use during his unfortunate stay here. How dare they? Didn’t they know he had rights?
“Hello, Filthy.”
The man felt ashamed that he yelped at the sudden voice, before whirling around.
His cell wasn’t too big, but, it being late, there wasn’t a lot of light entering his cell, despite there being a streetlamp not too far away. However, in the darker area of his cell, Filthy could make out the figure of someone.
He glared. “Who are you, my cellmate?” He waved a hand. “Just remain where you are. Filth like you should know to keep your distance.”
The other person gave a low chuckle. “Funny. I was about to say the same thing.”
Suddenly, Filthy found he couldn't move. His eyes widened in fear, wondering what was going on. The person chose this moment to step out into the light and their appearance caused his eyes to widen. It looked like Lilac. However, her eyes were what terrified Filthy. They had no pupils. They were just purple and pink spirals.
“Screwball.”
He cocked an eyebrow despite his fear.
The girl glared at him. “My name is Screwball. Glad to see you’re finally going to pay for what you’ve done.”
This turn of phrase snapped Filthy out of it, his being able to get where this was going thanks to all the pointless talks he’d had to go through in the last couple of weeks.
“Oh, of course. Another who doesn’t see what I did was necessary.”
The mood changed instantly. The girl, Screwball’s, eyes flared with anger, her hair seeming to move in a wind that wasn’t even there. Filthy didn’t have much time to think about this, however, as he suddenly found himself slammed backward into the wall, so hard it actually left a small impact crater.
Screwball shot forward, her whole body screaming rage. “Necessary?! You think it was necessary to try ruining your two daughters’ lives? How is that necessary, Filthy Rich? How?”
He grunted, slightly winded from the impact, before glaring at the girl. “How else was I to further myself in life?”
There was silence for several moments, before Screwball’s eyes seemed to turn completely red, Filthy couldn’t even see the whites in them anymore.
“Are you telling me, the only reason you had children, was so you could use them to further yourself in life? That you don’t care what emotional baggage your wife and daughter are currently going through because of what you did to Diamond’s sister, not to mention the pressures you already put on Diamond from the beginning because you wouldn't let her chose her own life?!”
Getting his breath back, Filthy gave her a confused look. “What else are they for? Why else would I put myself through nine months of dealing with my pregnant wife and the sleepless nights that followed after Diamond was born?” he snorted. “And, in the end, the second one was worthless to me anyway. May as well have been a still birth.”
The stillness in the air suddenly unnerved the man, who looked to the girl to see her giving a cold stare.
Without warning, whatever was holding Filthy up against the wall seemed to stop and he dropped down, flopping to the floor.
Screwball looked at her with what Filthy could only describe as a dead hatred. “To think, when I first came to this world, I expected you to be just like my father and your wife to be like my mother. How wrong i was. You’ll never know happiness.” The girl snapped her fingers and was just gone.
Filthy didn’t have much time to ponder this though, as he fell unconscious.
“I am incredibly disappointed in you, Diamond Tiara,” Spoiled says, looking down sternly at a wilting and ink-stained Diamond.
“But... but, mother—” Diamond tries to explain.
“No, “buts”, Tiara,” Spoiled cuts her off, making Diamond wilt more. “You were in charge of the school paper and you allowed those Blank Flanks to undermine your authority!” Spoiled stamps a hoof against the ground, causing Diamond to flinch. “When you are in charge, you must ensure all know never to go against your orders. You slacked, giving those beneath you the confidence to try opposing you and you failed because of it. A true leader does not allow those beneath her to gain any foreground. You’re just lucky your father is out on business at the moment, so he doesn’t have to be as ashamed as I am.”
I watch from the top of the stairs, out of sight, glowering at the older mare.
If you can’t tell, the last few days have been those in the episode Ponyville Confidential. A few days before that was the pegasi managed to get the water up to Cloudsdale, Dash got Tank as her pet, Pound and Pumpkin were finally born, Cranky Doodle Donkey moved into town, Iron Will made a mess of things with Fluttershy and Spike learned how he’s happier living as a pony than a dragon.
I actually tagged along for the Great Dragon Migration, unbeknownst to Twilight, Rarity and RD, by turning myself into a dragon. How they didn’t notice my colour similarities is beyond me. Though I did observe that it was mainly the younger dragons that seemed to be, well, dicks. In fact, several of the more adult dragons had half-pulled me into a conversation about how tiresome the younger generation are.
But, getting back to the here and now, today The Foal Free Press with the CMC’s apologies for all the hurtful gossip they’d been spreading came out, leading to Diamond being demoted and Spoiled being none too impressed that her favourite daughter was upstaged by three little ponies who don’t even have their Cutie Marks.
Yeah, I said that. I’m just saying what she says, though. That’s the kind of mare I’m stuck living with. Man, I can’t wait to be rid of her.
Oh, how am I going to be rid of her, you ask? Well, I’ve had spells set up all over the house since the first day I got here. What do these spells do? They record any period of time when Spoiled is talking down to either myself or Diamond.
Why am I doing this? For proof when this goes to court. Oh, yeah. After the CMC get their Cutie Marks, that bitch is going straight to court for all the misery she’s caused my big sister and myself. As if the charges she’ll be facing in regards to what she did to me all those years before Discord saved me, on top of the emotional trauma she’s put Diamond through, I’ll have a school official witness to when she blatantly tears into the CMC about being worthless low-lives; Miss Cheerilee herself.
However, that also means I cannot interfere right now as Spoiled belittles my sister, making her feel worthless beyond measure, no matter how much I want to just teleport down there and sock Spoiled right in her up-turned nosed face!
It goes on for several more minutes, during which Diamond starts tearing up, which only makes Spoiled rag on her about how tears show weakness and how, if Diamond wants to get anywhere in the world, she must show no weakness at all.
In the end, I have go to sleep that night, knowing my own sister is suffering, but, for the sake of the timeline, I can’t just end the suffering now.
I float lazily through the air, just admiring how peaceful the day has been. And by peaceful, I mean I still have the sound of Spoiled’s sputtering after she woke up this morning to find her bed filled with marmalade, before walking into a cloud of cotton candy as she headed for the bathroom, followed by finding out I’d switched her shampoo with caramel and fudge.
To be fair, she’s never smelled so nice before, so there’s a plus for her as far as I’m concerned.
It’s been a few weeks since the incident with The Foal Free Press. For the most part, I’ve been able divert Spoiled’s focus on Diamond demoted role by having her focus her anger towards me. It’s pretty easy, seeing as she hates me anyway and, with pranks like I just mentioned I did this morning, how could she not focus all her attention into her hatred of me?
Last week we had Family Appreciation Day, where I tried to stay interested when Daddy was giving a speech, I really did, but I just couldn’t find the talk about his business like Diamond did.
An odd thing I noticed, though, and I’m not sure if it was in the show or not, but as I’d looked around to find something else to ocurpy my mind as Dad had gone on about his business, I’d notced there was one other pony save my sister who was paying close attention to Daddy’s speech, Twist.
Though, it wasn’t just that she was paying attention, it’s that she had, as best as I can call it, a dreamy expression on her face as she sat with her head in her hooves, watching attentively.
Though, the dreamy expression kind of unnerved me. I honestly hope Twist doesn’t have some kind of a schoolgirl crush on my dad, because that’s a foalcon warning if anything. If it is a crush, I hope it will be just that and that some other colt or filly will garner her attention later.
Speaking off, Pipsqueak has tried several times to talk, though he’s always getting tongue-tied. I’m still trying to figure out how to let him down gently, but it’s not easy, especially with how my rejecting him could alter the future by making him too down-trodden to run for Student Pony President.
God, trying to keep time in check can be a pain in the flank.
Along with all that, I decided to travel with the others to find Applejack in the events of The Last Roundup. I didn’t help or anything, I was just there for the entertainment.
Though, it did make me realize the two pegasi, one who was Fluttershy, were keeping up with a quartet of really buff Earth Pony stallions. It’s always the quiet ones you never suspect, even when you know not to suspect them.
As for the events of Hearts and Hooves Day? Yeah, turns out the CMC wouldn’t have gotten a hold of that book containing the Love Poison recipe without my coincidentally directly Twilight to the book and then in that direction.
As for the events of MMMystery on the Friendship Express? Oh, sweet Celestia! How much I facehoofed during Pinkie’s accusing the other bakers of doing what Rarity, Fluttershy and Dash did.
I went along with them during that (namely for free baked goods), and even told Pinkie before we left her to guard the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness that I had placed spells on the other bakers’ rooms so they wouldn’t be able to leave until morning other than to use the bathroom or any similar reason, thus they could’ve had no part of the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness’ mutilation.
As for what else I’ve been doing, well, just bumming around over the weekend, really. The CMC are currently trying to get their Sheep Shearing Cutie Marks, so I’ve just been lazily flying around.
“My brother?!”
The shout pulls me from my thoughts and I almost drop right out of the sky. Making a cotton candy cloud appear and plopping myself on it, I looked below and see Twilight going into a song I recongize as B.B.B.F.F., the song she sings to tell her friends, and for those watching the episode, an info dump about a character the show hadn’t mentioned til that moment.
So, the events of A Canterlot Wedding are finally starting? About time!
I blink, before facehoofing. That reminds me. I’ve one more thing to do that I’ve been putting off... though it does explain why Luna won’t be around during the invasion.
With a pop I teleport, reappearing in Luna’s personal chambers, though I feel something nagging at my brain, but ignore it.
I can’t help giving a warm smile as I see her cleaning something that wasn’t there several months ago.
“Are you ready, Princes?” I ask, floating up next to her.
Luna glances at me with a glint in her eyes and nods.
I change into my normal human form and hold out my arms, in which is a small bundle of cloth.
Luna takes it and slowly opens it, revealing a little black filly foal with a horn. Lifting more of the blank, she reveals the fillies bigger than I honestly expected onyx wings.
I’m honestly taken aback by that. I wasn’t expecting her wings to be so big when she’s just a baby. Is it because she’s an Alicorn? Huh. What does that mean for Cadance’s future baby?
Those thoughts are stopped as Luna moves the blanket down, revealing the Cutie Markless. Luna also only now seems to take notice of the ethereal mane of the filly.
“Wait. Her mane... but, I thought...” Luna turns to me, confusion in her eyes.
I frown at her. “What? You thought I was taking the filly in that story out? No, Luna. I took the lingering fragments of Nightmare’s essence from your old castle and turned it into this foal. Nyx is not a part of this universe and this is not her.”
She looks down for a moment at the little foal, sleeping soundly, before re-wrapping it in the blanket, pulling her close, and kissing her on the forehead. “Thank you, Screwball.”
“I can image this little one will take up a lot of your time, so you’ll not be helping too much with the wedding?” I almost laughed at the gawking expression at the mention of the wedding. “Luna, Chaos Pony, remember?”
She blinks, before giving me a knowing smile.
It’s now, however, I suddenly notice something feels off about where I am. Now that I think about it, when I entered Luna’s bedroom, it felt like my teleport had been diverted.
Moving over to the window, I almost gape when I see the moon outside and the planet in the sky. Almost.
So, Luna made a castle for herself on the moon. Guess that Frozen parody with Luna wasn’t too far off.
“I will keep her here for now,” I turn at the Lunar Princess’ voice to see her lowering her new foal into the black-wood crib, with night themed blankets and a star mobile. “I feel I should wait until later to tell of her existence.”
I frown, wondering if she’s been peaking into my dreams or something. Is she going to wait until Cadance announces her own pregnancy before revealing...?
“What’re you going to call her?” I ask, realizing we hadn’t given the former Nightmare Moon a name.
Luna looks down and gently passing a hoof over the sleeping foal’s ethereal mane and for the life of me I’ve no idea how she did that. “Blessed Moon.”
I frown, thinking about that. “Hmm. Suppose it works. It sounds nice and the fact Moon is part of her name isn’t too obvious a throwback to Nightmare Moon. Nicknames wouldn’t be too hard either. Moony. Blessy, though I think Moony sounds cuter.” I shrug. “Alrigh’, Blessed Moon it is. She’s your daughter, after all. So, with the spells I’ve cast on her, her age’ll be in a sort of limbo state until Princess Cadance has her own baby.”
Luna’s head snaps to me, her eyes going wide.
I smirk. “What? She’s gonna get married soon. You think she and Shining Armour won’t do the deed? Also, they’re baby’s gonna be an Alicorn. Don’t ask how I know, I just do. Oh, and make sure not to explain it to your sister or anypony else. In fact, I’ll subconsciously lock that small part away in your mind so this isn’t a problem.”
A snap of my fingers and I’m back to pony form and Luna has a distant look in her eyes, before she shakes herself. “Right. I’ll raise her here on the moon until the time to reveal her comes.”
I nod. Good. That means Skyla being a naturally born Alicorn will take some of the heat off Luna’s baby looking just like Nightmare save no Cutie Mark.
“Well, I’d better head down and see how Twi and the others and handling the wedding plans. Later, Lulu.”
Her cheeks go red at the nickname, but she smiles and returns to the crib, looking down lovingly at Blessed Moon.
With one last look back and a smile, I teleport away, ready to have my fun with the Changelings.
Chrysalis left the kitchen, glad to be rid of those disgusting apple tarts. Disgusting things. Why did some of her scouts even suggest they weren’t bad? The only thing worth eating were emotions, love being the prime ideal.
“Hi!” She almost jumped, before turning around and seeing a small pink filly with a purple and white mane and tail, wearing a beanie with a propeller on her head. Her Cutie Mark was a screw and what ponies called baseball.
Her eyes, on the other hoof, were intriguing. Unlike every other pony she had come across since taking the real Mi Amore Cadenza’s place, the filly’s eyes were spirals instead of pupils. It was rather unusual, to say the least. And unusual was not something she needed right now.
She gave a smile to fool the filly. “Hello, there. What are you doing in the palace, little one?”
The filly gave what the Changeling in disguise could swear was a small smirk. “I’m here with Twilight Sparkle to help with the wedding, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.”
The taller equine figure frowned. “Why did you say my title like that?” Something about the way the filly emphasized it did not sit well for some reason.
The filly just gave a smile that was so exaggerated you’d have to be blind not to see it. “Like what Princess Mi Amore Cadenza? I'm just saying your name, aren't I?”
Chrysalis frowned. Something was very off here. Why was this filly not acting like everypony else and fawning over her? Why did she not seem to care she was speaking with royalty? Why, when tasting this filly’s emotions, did she sense confidence, self-assurance and things none of the others she had encountered over during her whole plan had felt around her save the older princesses. And why did she keep emphasizing her disguise’s name? It was almost as if...
The disguised Changeling saw a glint in the filly’s spiralling eyes and she winked.
At once Chrysalis understood. This filly somehow knew she was not the real Mi Amore Cadenza. How she knew, the Changeling Queen had no idea, but she couldn’t allow her to ruin the plan.
“Oh, don’t get your wings in a bunch,” the filly said calmly, walking past the disguised queen and looking back over her shoulder. “One, if I acted any differently now, my friends would know, so quickly replacing me isn’t going to work. Besides, I’ve no real plans to interfere with your invasion. In fact, I’m counting on it.”
Chrysalis narrowed her eyes, but kept to her disguise. “What do you mean “you’re counting on it”?”
The filly just gave a chuckle, one the queen was startled to find sent a chill up her chitin spine. “Let’s just say: I know how things play out and am looking forward to the show.”
With that the filly marched down the hall, in the opposite direction Chrysalis needed to go for her next appointment in her ruse of a wedding.
She stood in the hallway for a long while, watching the path the filly had taken, even after she had disappeared round a corner. Something was off. Who was that filly and why were her own plans a part of that filly’s?
After several long moments, the queen decided to put those thoughts from her mind and focus back on the task at hoof. She’d have one of her undercover scouts keep an eye on the filly and report back.
I watch, invisible to all as the rehearsal for the wedding plays out.
Celestia smiles at Shining Armour and the pretend Cadance. “I’ll say a few words, and then we’ll begin with the vows. Shining Armour, you’ll get the ring from your best mare.”
They all turn to see Spike playing with the figures meant to go atop the cake.
“Hey...” Shining Armour says, looking around in confusion, “has anypony seen Twilight?”
The doors bang open, showing Twilight. “I’m here! I’m not gonna stand next to her! And neither should you!”
I have to repress a groan. Oh, this is hard enough to watch in the show. Seeing it in person (pony? still not sure about that) is going to hurt.
Shining looks to whom he thinks is his wife. “I’m sorry, I... I don’t know why she’s acting like this.”
“Maybe we should just ignore her,” the disguised Changeling mutters.
I facehoof. Okay. Shining should’ve thought that would’ve been an odd thing for Cadance to say. You know, on top of that, having spent the day going around with Twilight and watching the events play out like in the episode, I noticed something else that both Shining and Celestia should’ve seen as odd. The magical aura. Celestia practically raised Cadance since her parents passed and Shining was the one bloody dating the Alicorn. You’d think they’d both have wondered why her aura went from the turquoise-blue it was to green, right?
I watch uncomfortably as it all plays out, leading to everypony leaving to go comfort the pony they think is a distressed Cadance.
I won’t lie; it really hurts seeing the look on Twilight’s face when Celestia walks past Twilight, saying, “You have a lot to think about.”
I watch as Twilight sings the reprise, before the disguised Changeling Queen comes over, strokes Twilight’s head and makes her look up.
“I’m sorry!” Twilight sobs.
Chrysalis real eyes flash through her disguise for a moment, before she snarls. “You will be.”
As I watch the sphere of fire surround Twilight and pull her down, I honestly have to shiver.
Once I’ve shaken it off, I teleport down to the crystal caverns, expecting to hear Twilight and Cadance making up. What I hear, stops my blood for a second.
“Twilight, stop! Please! I keep telling you, the Cadance who brought you down here is a fake. I’m the real Cadance!”
“And I keep telling you, likely story! Now, clench your teeth—!”
“Whoa, whoa whoa!” I cry, teleporting next to them, quickly lifting Twilight back with my magic and holding her in place. “Shit! If I’d known this world was going to follow more on the bad ending I’d have come sooner!”
“Screwball, what are you doing?!” Twilight cries in anger, trying to use her magic, though I had the forethought to make sure she won’t be able to until I let her go.
I lower her to the ground, but keep her from moving forward. “Let her prove it. I realize you’re angry that somepony’s planning something horrid with your brother, but, I’d think you’d at least not jump in head-first without thinking.” Besides, that’s more Celestia’s thing anyway.
Twilight glares at me, then at Cadance. “And just how would she prove that?”
“Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake,” Cadance tiredly begins. “Clap your hooves...”
“ ...and do a little shake,” Twilight joins in, in shock.
When Cadance turns back around and smiles, I release my hold on Twilight and she hurries forward and hugs her. “You remember me!”
“Of course I do,” Cadance replies quietly. “How could I forget the filly I love to sit for the most?”
“Um, ladies, I hate to break up this touching reunion,” I say, hovering over to them, “but we’re kinda pressed for time here.”
It’s now that Cadance seems to take notice of the oddities that have happened since I arrived, including my hovering when I am clearly not a Pegasus.
“Who...? How are you doing that?” she asks, mouth agape.
“I’ll explain once you and Chrysalis finish your duet musical number, which is really more a solo, since she’ll be singing disguised as you, but that’s beside the point,” I wave off her question.
“Um... what?” she glances at Twilight, who shakes her head. “Her name’s Screwball. We’ll explain the rest on the way.”
So, we hurry off, making our way through the caverns as Cadance sings her half of the song, which, since I can’t her Chrysalis singing her part, actually sounds kinda odd for me, though Twilight doesn’t seem to notice.
Once the song is over, I can’t help looking around the part of the cavern where we are. I plan on teleporting us out (I honestly don’t see any other way Twilight and Cadance could’ve gotten out of the caverns and to the wedding that fast, but I’ll just teleport us straight there), but I know we need to find the three ponies that were Chrysalis’ bridesmaids until she put them down here.
“Oh, we’re never going to save him,” Cadance says in defeat.
Twilight growls with determination as she keeps looking around. “We will. We just have to find...” she spots the shaft of light leading out, “There!
Suddenly, Minuette, Lyra and Twinkleshine appear, their eyes glowing green as they say in unison, “You’re not going anywhere.”
Yikes, that’s actually really creepy.
“What do we do?” Twilight asks, looking to Cadance.
I look around, trying to find the bouquet Cadance throws in the show, but don’t see one. That had always puzzled me, where she got it from. Though, since I’m here, I can guess where for this reality.
I make one appear, before handing it to Cadance, who gets the hint, levitating it in her magic and waving it in front of the three, before tossing it.
I honestly can’t help but laugh as they all leap after it, shouting, “I want it!” before a crashing sound indicates they all knocked each other out in a pony pile up.
I quickly wipe the mind control away, teleport them outside, before teleporting us just outside the wedding hall, much to the shock of the guards stationed there.
“Sorry, no time to explain,” I say, hitting them with a Sleep Spell, before nodding to Twilight.
“Stop! ” Twilight shouts as she thrusts the doors open.
“Ugh! Why does she have to be so possessive of her brother?” I hear Chrysalis mutter, before she sobs, “Why does she have to ruin my special day?”
“Because it’s not your special day! It’s mine!”
The fake Alicorn’s eyes widen as the real Cadance and I walk in behind Twilight. “What? But how did you escape my bridesmaids?”
So we tell her, myself finishing, “Really, what did you expect? Doesn’t matter what mind control spell is put on someone, girls at weddings will lose all sense when it comes to the thrown bouquet.”
Applejack looks from one supposed Cadance to the other. Ah-Ah don’t understand. How can there be two of ‘em?
Cadance steps forward. “She’s a Changeling. She takes the form of somepony you love and gains power by feeding off your love for them.”
Now, I expect Chrysalis to do her big reveal like in the show... so imagine my confusion when she points angrily at Cadance.
“How do we know you’re not the Changeling, trying to ruin my wedding so you can feed on my husband-to-be’s love?”
“Easy,” I smirk. “Show your real self.”
At once there’s a flash of green fire and, rather un-dramatically, Chrysalis’ disguise is gone, showing her for what she really is.
Everypony gasps, but she gawks in confusion. “What? But, how? Why did my disguise suddenly fail like that?”
“So, why’s a bug-pony pretending to be the princess?” Rainbow asks.
This seems to snap Chrysalis from her shock and her smirk returns. Oh, boy, here we go. Evil villain monologue time.
“As your princess said, I am a Changeling. The queen, actually. And as queen of the Changelings, it is up to me to find food for my subjects. Equestria has more love than any place I’ve ever encountered. My fellow Changelings will be able to devour so much of it that we will gain more power than we have ever dreamed of!
Cadance glares at her. “They’ll never get the chance! Shining Armour’s protection spell will keep them from ever even reaching us!”
Queen Chrysalis chuckles. “Oh, I doubt that. Isn’t that right, dear?”
Shining Armour robotically nods. “Mm-hmm.”
Cadance moves to attack her, but Chrysalis lights her horn. “Ah, ah, ah. Don’t want to go back to the caves, now do you? Ever since I took your place, I’ve been feeding off Shining Armour’s love for you. Every moment he grows weaker and so does his spell. Even now, my minions are chipping away at it.” She laughs. “He may not be my husband, but he is under my total control now.” everyone gasps, but she continues. “And I’m sorry to say, unable to perform his duties as captain of the Royal Guard.”
Cadance looks at him, distraught. “Not my Shining Armour!”
Chrysalis sneers. “Soon, my Changeling army will break through. First, we take Canterlot. And then, all of Equestria!”
“No. You won’t.” Celestia steps forward.
It is now that I realize something. Celestia isn’t a pushover. The fact she fails in the show is really just plot convenience. Inwardly, I sigh, getting ready to limit Celestia’s magic at the right time. Damn it, timeline; sometimes I hate you.
Celestia clashes horns with the Changeling Queen. “You may have made it impossible for Shining Armour to perform his spell, but now that you have so foolishly revealed your true self, I can protect my subjects from you!”
With that the two start the horn laser battle and after a few moments, I use my magic to cut off the majority of Celestia’s magic, causing her to lose and be knocked aside.
I could sense if I didn’t, she’d have won and we need that big climax from the two newlyweds to happen.
Chrysalis sneers as Twilight and the others hurry over to help their princess. “Ah! Shining Armour’s love for you is even stronger than I thought! Consuming it has made me even more powerful than Celestia!”
Eh. Gotta give her ego that bigger boast before she’s blasted out of Canterlot by a barrier powered by the very thing her kind feed on.
As the others run off to get the Elements, Chrysalis laughs, calling out, “You can run, but you can’t hide!”
With her distracted, I place a small on Celestia that will protect her from whatever affects the pod she’ll be put in would’ve had on her otherwise. It’ll also give any illusions that she’s being affected to the Changelings.
Strangely, it seems I’ve been forgotten to the Changeling Queen, as she doesn’t pay me any attention. Not sure whether to be insult by that or not.
Whatever the case, minutes later, after Cadance tell Chrysalis that Twilight and the others will stop her, they’re brought in. Though, I can tell from how closely they’re being monitored that Twilight won’t be able to go free Cadance from the goo binding her hooves.
Well, with her out of the way, I guess it’s up to me. Using my magic, I dissolve the goo. Go to Shining Armour.
Cadance looks around, before seeing me looking at her. How are you...? she mentally asks.
Twilight and I told you on the way out. I’ve Chaos Magic, but I’m not meant to use it to end this. I point to the hpynotized stallion. Go to Shining Armour, now, Cadance, whilst you still can.
She does and you all know what happens next, she frees Shining from Chrysalis’ control, they combined their power and blast the Changeling out of Canterlot and mostly from Equestria itself and the wedding moves along.
As we watch the carriage taking off the newlyweds, Twilight sighs and looks to all of us, myself and Dash hovering above the group.
“Now this was a great wedding.”
“Oh, yeah?” Spike grins. “Just wait until you see what I have planned for the bachelor party!
Everypony laughs, whilst I tell Spike that there had been mistake and, seeing as he’s only a baby dragon, didn’t actually know what a bachelor party was, so I disguised myself as Big Mac and hosted the part myself.
The disappointment on his face isn’t nice, but I feel he needed to hear it, before he embarrassed himself further.
But, Twilight’s right. This was a fun wedding. Plus, I can’t wait to go home and rub the fact that I helped out at Royal Wedding and helped in saving Equestria to Spoiled. Oh, the jealous will be sweet.
The Empire has Hidden Secrets. Hidden by Me, that Is.
I yawn loudly, before sitting up and looking over the field outside of Ponyville where Twilight’s castle will grow.
It’s been about four days since the wedding and Cadance and Shining Armour are still on their honeymoon. The only real fun thing I did save my usual pranking on Spoiled was hopping through the dimensions to help that alternate Twilight and Fluttershy with the memory problems they were having. Sure, there was sorting out Chrysalis and her Changelings, but that wasn’t as much fun as it was my trying to just make things better.
I make a pocket watch appear in front of me. It’s not a normal watch though. When it opens it has a timer with the words “Time until the Crystal Empire returns”.
I blink, before rubbing my eyes and check again. Whoa, so much for being bored. The Empire returned a few hours ago and Cadance and Shining Armour are already on their way there.
Hopping up I use a teleport and find myself standing in front of a very startled Cadance and Shining Armour.
“Wha—? Screwball?” the pink Alicorn gasps, registering who I am. “But, how—? Why are you here?”
“Celestia sending you two to the frozen north because the Crystal Empire’s returned?” I ask simply.
They gape, to which I roll my eyes.
“Guys, I’m a being of chaos. Are you really that surprised I’d know something Sunbutt hasn’t told the public?”
Both frown at the word “Sunbutt”, but don’t get a chance to say more as the ground beneath us shakes.
Looking around, I see that we’re in a train cart. Moving over to a window and looking outside, I can see, along with the whirling snowstorm that the Crystal Heart protects the Empire from, a dark cloud that is moving along the ground, with a pair of red and green eyes.
“I’ll hold off Sombra whilst you guys get to the Empire,” I say, turning back to the couple. “When you do, Cadance, make a barrier of love of light. It’ll keep him out whenever he manages to get a pot-shot out.”
“Wait. What do you—?” Shining calls, but I’ve already jumped out of the cart, caught myself in the air and am shooting towards the smoke cloud that is Sombra.
I smirk. I am so having fun with this.
I change myself into a human, before making giant purple bat-wings grow out of my back. I fly up into the sky to face the Sombra cloud, which has paused, no doubt due to Sombra one, not expecting something to change into something so randomly right in front of him like that and two, because I doubt he’s ever seen a human in his life, so the sight of one just appearing before him with giant bat-wings threw him off.
“Always wanted to say this,” I grin, holding up my right are, it turning into a large canon with “Love Cannon” written in big red letters on the side.
Sombra looks even more confused from what little of his face I can see, as the cannon barrel starts glowing with white light.
I cackle and, adding distortion to my voice, scream, “TASTE THE RAINBOW, MOTHER BUCKER!” and fire, a torrent of rainbow energy exploding from the cannon.
The blast slams into the cloud and, unlike a cloud, instead of dissipating, it is pushed backwards as a loud scream of pain is released into the howling winds.
My arm returns to normal and I watch Sombra writhing in agony for a few moments. Once he’s done he turns, glaring at me, any of the “I’m going to play around with you for my own amusement” expression completely gone from his eyes.
I smirk, holding my arms out, blades appearing on them, glowing with blue light. Yeah, I could just teleport the Crystal Heart to where it’s meant to be, cure the Crystal Ponies of their amnesia so they know what to do and hell, I could even stop Sombra right from the get-go.
However, that would mean Twilight would never learn about self sacrifice (even though I’m pretty sure it was covered in some way, even a small one, during the previous two seasons) and Spike wouldn’t get to be the hero of the Crystal Empire. The little guy needs something good going for him, considering all the shit he goes through.
Plus, come on. You really think I’m going to pace up a chance to have an all out battle against Sombra? I’ll be lucky if I can have any fun with Tirek, since he’ll be able to sense if I use my Chaos Magic after he steals Discord’s. This is likely the best chance I have to have a fun battle, at least when it comes to the big super villains.
And besides, once Twilight and the others get here and are occupied by the Crystal Fair, I’ll be able to work in my other plan.
RIGHT AFTER THE CHANGELINGS WERE EXPELLED FROM CANTERLOT
Chrysalis screamed as she and her Changelings soared through the air, unable to halt their flight path due to being overloaded by the power of the love shield that blasted them from Canterlot.
How was it possible that not only could love be used against them, but it actually left them in pure agony?
To top it off, she felt as at least half her army perished upon impact with the ground, some still being within Equestria’ borders and winced with each life that vanished from the Hive. How could she have failed so badly when she was so close to victory? How?
“I’ll tell you how. You underestimated the ponies and thought of them as nothing but prey.”
Before the Changeling Queen knew what was happening, the rushing winds around her suddenly stopped, as did the pain.
Opening her eyes, she blinked, before looking around in confusion. She was in the ruins of some old castle, as were all the Changelings still connected to the Hive.
What in the world? she thought, before her eyes fell on a small Earth Pony filly who was standing on her hind legs, resting her head on her forelegs as she leaned against one of the walls. Chrysalis could taste nothing but calmness coming from her, something that a pony should not be feeling when surrounded by so many of her kind.
“Your second mistake was leaving Twilight down bellow with the real Cadance,” the filly said, smirking at her. “Oh, and thinking you had a chance when a being of chaos was around.”
Chrysalis blinked for several moments, before snorting. “A being of chaos? The only being of chaos in this world is Discord and he is still encased in stone. I know, I’ve seen it.”
The filly’s expression did not change. “Who ever said I was talking about Discord?”
As the filly spoke, the Changeling Queen was drenched in chocolate milk. Quickly looking up, she saw a cloud made of cotton candy, on top of which sat... the filly?
The filly grinned, waving down. “Hey. I’m Screwball. Sorry for yanking you several hours into the future, but I was having too much fun at the wedding to bother using a double for this.”
Chrysalis looked back to where the filly had been standing only to see a bare wall. Looking back up, her eyes widened as a soda bottle appeared out of thin air and the filly drank from it. She finished, gave a loud belch, then tossed it aside, the bottle turning into a flower upon impacting the ground instead of breaking.
“I’ve a proposal, Chryssy, dear,” Chrysalis shivered as she suddenly found the filly standing next to her, resting a foreleg on one of Chrysalis’ own. How in the world had she done that? “I don’t like the idea of your race dying out cos you were too stupid to just ask the ponies for help feeding you instead of invading, so how about this? The Crystal Empire will return pretty soon. Pinkie Promise to be a good little ling and not cause anymore problems for the ponies and I’ll help you and your hive get inside. You can pretend to be ponies whom I will give you the IDs of. Heck, G1 had a ton that were never even utilized in G4 as far as I know, so it’ll give you all great cover stories. You’ll all easily be able to feed, live your lives and it won’t even harm anypony to do so. Whacha say, Bugbutt.”
It took Chrysalis several long minutes to actually process what the little pony had said. Once it had all gone through her mind, however, she gave a loud cackle.
“Do you really expect me to make a deal with a little filly?” she sneered down at the calm pony. “I am Queen of the Changelings and you just told me of a place that can provide my subjects with even more love than even Equestria could provide.”
“Pretty sure the Empire is a part of Equestria, but whatever,” this Screwball said nonchalantly. “And, yeah. You will. Trust me, you don’t want the Ultimatum.”
Chrysalis just chuckled. “Oh, really? And what is that, little filly?”
Suddenly, she felt herself being pulled in a mass teleport along with the rest of her hive. The next moment she screamed in terror as she saw the sun just metres away from herself. The screams from her subjects told her this wasn’t just a trick, this was real. The heat was intense, yet she knew something was keeping them alive. For one, how were they even breathing?
“Do not buck with me, Changeling,” a cold voice said. Chrysalis turned her head to see the filly, Screwball floating a little away, her forelegs folded, her expression grim. “Like I said, I don’t like the idea of your race dying out because of your own stupidity, but it will happen if you do not accept.”
“Are you insane?!” Chrysalis screamed, looking from the pony to the giant ball of flames just metres away from her own face. “How is this even happening?!”
“I told you,” Screwball said, sounding just as cold as before, “when I spoke of a being of chaos, I was not referring to that Draconequus. I was speaking of myself, the being of chaos he created by accident.”
Chrysalis’ eyes widened in horror. A second being of chaos? And, from what she had observed thus far, she seemed to have the same abilities as her creator.
Wait. She recognized this filly now. She was the filly she meant the day before the wedding, the one who had seemed so confident around her when every other pony had grovelled at her hooves.
Was this why she’d been so confident? Because she was a being of chaos the whole time?
However, instead of the confidence she’d sensed coming from her back then and in that ruined castle, now she only sensed a coldness coming from her.
“What will it be, Queen of the Changelings?” the chaos filly demanded, pointing a hoof at the sun. “Do you Pinkie Promise to do as I have offered, or are you willing to experience the extinction of your entire race one by one, before finally meeting the same fate.”
Chrysalis looked from the filly to her subjects, hearing their pleas and cries over the Hive Mind as well as out loud.
One could never say Chrysalis was a coward. Of all the queens throughout time, she had been the strongest, the one who had done the most for the Hive.
She had never bowed to another’s will, they had bowed to hers. But could she really refuse this pony who had the powers of the Lord of Chaos? It wasn’t like she’d be risking her subjects’ lives. There was no risk at all. If she refused, this Screwball seemed adamant on sending all those who hadn’t already perished into the flaming ball before them, in which none save Princess Celestia herself could survive.
After several more moments of hearing her subjects’ fear, she could take it no more. Sucking up every ounce of pride she had, she looked to the young filly and nodded.
“No.”
That one word sent chills of horror down her spine as the filly’s eyes narrowed. “You’ll make a Pinkie Promise.”
Somehow, Chrysalis found she knew what the chaos pony was talking about, yet knowing only terrified her more. She would not be able to turn her back on the chaos pony and break this promise. The specifics of just what would happen if she did were unclear, but, deep in her gut, she felt pure terror at the idea of breaking the promise and the worst part, the terror did not come from the chaos pony herself. If it was not her to fear for breaking the promise, when she could easily teleport the whole hive to the sun, then who?
She did not want to find out and, both in an equal mix of reluctance and morbid fear, she performed the motions of a Pinkie Promise.
Once she had, the cold expression on the filly was replaced with outright happiness and Chrysalis could sense joy coming from the filly.
A moment later, they were all back in the ruined castle they’d appeared in before, none of her Changelings harmed at all the, the filly smiling up at Chrysalis.
Everything inside her told the Changeling Queen to flee, hideaway and get as far from this pony as she possibly could, but she was frozen in place from fear.
She needn’t worry about her subjects thinking her weak for being afraid, as they all had moved to the farthest corner of the room, their own fear dominating all over thoughts in the Hive Mind.
“Now,” Screwball said, pacing in front of the queen, her expression cheerful, as if the whole threatening to throw them all into the sun thing had never happened, “the wedding was only today and it’s likely Cadance and Shining Armour got at least a few days of honeymoon time before having to go the Empire, so you can all hang around here until then. You’re allowed to explore the Everfree to your hearts’ content, though I really wouldn’t advise it.
“You should be safe from being discovered, since Twilight and the others won’t come here til after they defeat Discord’s Plunder Plants, which won’t happen for a long time. The ones likely to find you are Zecora and Fluttershy, seeing as Zecora lives here in the Everfree and Fluttershy comes in from time to time for plants or whatever. So, you’re good there too.
“I’ve already spoken with Zecora whilst I was teleporting you all back here from space, so she’s aware of you and won’t interfere with you as long as you don’t interfere with her. Whenever Fluttershy’s around, I’ve set up a magical alert that only you’ll all be able to feel. Soon as you feel it, turn into some small animal or a rock or whatever and wait til she’s gone. Last thing you want is Fluttershy finding out you’re hear and telling everypony out of fear.”
Screwball stopped pacing and faced the Changeling Queen, looking up at her with that same cheerful smile. “Ya got all that?”
“I...” she said, her mind trying to catch up. “I... yes. Yes, we do.”
Screwball closed her eyes, her smile somehow becoming more cheerful, yet that only set the Changelings further on edge. “Great. See you soon, Chryssy!”
And she was just gone.
Noling dared move for several long minutes.
Once they were certain the chaos filly was gone, Chrysalis shakily began assigning drones to their tasks. If that filly was expecting them to live here, they’d make do with what they had. The beasts of the Everfree were not her concern. That filly’s ire was.
I sense Cadance’s magic about to wink out, which will cause the barrier to fall down.
Grinning, I disappear, confusing Sombra, but he isn’t my focus anymore. At least for the moment.
I appear in the ruins of the castle to find it looks more like a bug hive than the ruins of Celestia and Luna’s old home.
“It’s time, Bugbutt,” I call out.
Every Changeling freezes, before turning and looking at me with fearful eyes.
I grin. “Don’t worry. I’m just here to hold up my end of the bargain. Any Changelings who wanna stay, maybe hide out in Ponyville and live here?”
A single ling raises their hoof.
I nod. That must be the one from the 100th episode. “Okay, everyling else, get ready. I’ve got your disguises ready and filled out all the documents to make you legal citizens of the Empire; despite so few being Crystal Ponies. The moment I teleport you, spread out. Just stay away from the cloud of hate that will be nearing the Empire. Trust me; you wanna steer clear of that. Also, just have a good life and remember to enjoy the Crystal Fair.”
Another teleport and every changeling save the one who wished to stay behind have appeared with me in the Empire, each taking on a pony form from G1 that was never utilized in Friendship is Magic as far as I know. I also removed any trace of the Changelings from the castle, thus Twilight and the only will never even know they were there.
With all the Crystal Ponies still focused on the fair and not realizing Sombra’s coming yet, they don’t even notice as a large group of ponies just appear out of nowhere.
I turn to all the Changelings-in-disguise, my gaze focused on a pink tall unicorn mare with a white and purple mane and tail, purple eyes and eight dark purple stars, some big, some small for a Cutie Mark, whom was glaring at me.
“I hate you,” Twilight Twinkle growled.
I just grin. “Think of this as community service, Twi Twi. As punishment for how you treated Twilight Sparkle and her family.”
She snorts, looking away, before glaring at me out the corner of her eye. “I’m not going to just never see you again, am I?”
I just grin and do my best Big Mac impression. “Eenope.”
Twinkle grumbles, before looking to all the other assembled ponies, nods and they all spread out to mingle with the Empire’s inhabitants.
As they do, I notice one of the Changelings, for some reason, looks like Berry Punch, but seeing as she does appear amongst the crowd of Crystal Ponies in the season three premiere, I’ll let it slide. I’ll just have to find that Changeling later and change their disguise to somepony else. Maybe Medley or Cuddles. Eh, I’ll think of somepony I didn’t use already.
With that sorted, I look up towards the castle in confusion. Shouldn’t Cadance have put her barrier back up by now?
Teleporting, I find Twilight, Shining and Cadance, the pink Alicorn looking completely drained. A quick look at her tells me she won’t recover enough energy on her own to get the barrier up in time to just cut off a piece of Sombra’s horn, whilst leaving the rest of him still outside the Empire until the barrier falls again.
I roll my eyes, before giving Cadance a recharge myself. Of course, I don’t recharge her completely. I’ll do that right before Shining throws her like a javelin to reach the Crystal Heart in time.
The barrier goes up and I hear Sombra’s angered cry of pain as the tip of his horn is shorn off by it.
With nothing else to do until right towards the end, I teleport back down to just enjoy the festival.
I turn my head from the pie I was able to bite into as I sense Twilight triggering Sombra’s alarm system for in case somepony found the heart, at the same time, the barrier starts to fade again and I teleport to Shining and Cadance’s side.
I watch as Spike tries to make his way to us, whilst Sombra is trying to get to him and his proximity to the Crystal Heart takes away most of his power, making him almost look like a normal pony.
Shining helps Cadance up and I give her the second recharge, this time giving her enough energy so she’ll be able to do what needs to be done.
And it plays out just like the episode. Cadance catches Spike and Crystal Heart, somepony calls out that Cadance is the Crystal Princess as she flies over the Crystal Ponies and puts the heart where it’s meant to be, the explosion of good emotions destroys Sombra, save his horn and everything turns out hunky dory.
With everypony distracted, however, I feel the last phase of my plan can come into effect.
Teleporting away, I find myself outside the barrier the Crystal Heart keeps the Empire in. Glancing around, I spot Sombra’s horn sinking into the snow, not too far from a just black crystal.
I glare at the crystal, using my magic to grab Sombra’s horn and bringing it over to me.
What are you?! the crystal demands. And what do you think you’re doing?!
I snort. “I’m Screwball and I’m going to give Sombra the life you took away from him! And, as for your Umbrum kind that you tried to make Sombra release, you and them can rot in Tartarus!”
A high-pitched scream comes from the stone before it vanishes in a burst of flames red flames.
That handled, I return look to the Empire and head back.
As Cadance and Shining Armour released each other from their hug and looked out at all the other Crystal Ponies, the ground rumbled for several moments, before it stopped.
They and the others looked at each other in confusion.
A popping sound was followed by Screwball appearing and calling out in what could easily be mistaken for the Royal Canterlot Voice, “The Umbrum are now and forever gone! Hail Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armour!”
This seems to snap the Crystal Ponies out of the fear the shaking her caused and they all cheer with joy, as Screwball turned to them saying, “Gotta go find Radiant Hope and fix everything”, and teleported away, leaving everypony and dragon on the balcony very confused.
“How... how could I have believed...?” the purplish unicorn says, looking down at her hooves as we reappear outside the Empire, but towards far enough away that nopony can see us.
“It’s not your fault,” I comfort, hovering up and putting a hoof on her shoulder.
In the moment I’d sent the Umbrum crystal to Tartarus along with all those imprisoned, Radiant had been done there. Turns out, after studying with Celestia and Luna, she’d come back to the Empire, despite the Empire no longer being there at the time and found a way into the world of the Umbrum. There, they tricked her into wanting to help them get free.
However, when they’d all felt themselves being pulled into Tartarus by a force they hadn’t expected and trying to fight back, they’d shown Radiant their true selves.
She’d been all on her own when I arrived. Now that we’re back out, though, I have one last task.
Holding Sombra’s horn in my magic, I nod to Radiant. She chargers her horn and fires a beam at the Sombra’s whilst I pour my own power into the spell.
The horn glows with a white light, before turning into a sphere and expanding. It keeps growing until it’s the size of a full-grown pony.
When the sphere disappears, Sombra is standing there, only now he looks like he did before the Umbrum took over him. and looks are the only thing. I’ve turned him into a real unicorn, so now the Umbrum have no hold over him whatsoever.
Sombra slowly opens his eyes, before they widen in shock at the sight of Hope.
“Hope?” he asks, before putting a hoof to his throat, then looks around in shock. “But, I was... But, how...?” He then notices me and points. “You’re the one who kept fighting me when the Empire first returned.”
I nod. “Welcome back, Sombra. You’re a normal pony now. The Umbrum are all gone and can’t do anything to you anymore.”
Sombra looks to Hope, before looking down, shame etched on his face. “Hope, I... I’m so...”
Hope just smiles, steps forward and pulls him into a tight hug. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”
“Now, don’t think you’re getting out of this free, Sombra,” they both turn to me. I fold my forehooves. “The ponies aren’t going to just let you go without facing consequences.”
He nods, giving me a solemn expression. “I know, and I wouldn’t derseve it anyway.” He steps back from Hope and looks to me. “You’ve helped to give me another chance, little filly. It is more than I deserve. Therefore, I will use this life you have given me to atone for my crimes. I will travel Equestria in search of every piece of Princess Amore that I scattered.” I nod, smiling. “Glad to hear it. Also, I’ll place a spell on you so nopony can tell you’re the same stallion that tried to take over the Crystal Empire, twice.”
He nods.
Radiant Hope steps forward, then turns to face me and leans against the black stallion. “Place one on me, too. I’m going with him.”
I smirk. “Wouldn’t have expected any different. Now, I need to go find that Changeling who took the form of Berry Punch. I think Cuddles will be a better fit.”
“I’m still pretty impressed with you, sis,” I say as the two of us walk along with Silver Spoon towards school.
Diamond looks at me, confused.
I sigh. Why did they have to wait til season 5 to give the CMC their Cutie Marks? It’s painfully, having to see my own sister not see the good she does when not thinking about herself or popularity, no matter how small.
SEVERAL DAYS AGO
Babs Seed strutted down the street, along with her two new companions, all three laughing at their latest deed. She was glad she’d managed to avoid being bullied again and had made some friends.
As they turned a corner, Babs spotted a filly who she was certain the two other Earth Ponies would want to target. She had a pink coat and purple and white mane, like Diamond Tiara, but unlike Tiara’s her mane and tail were a mess, as if she’d just gotten out of bed and not done anything with it, ever.
Her Cutie Mark was an odd one, a screw and baseball. However, it was what sat atop her head that Babs could tell would make her a target; a beanie, with a propeller on top.
Babs couldn’t believe how easy this filly was making it. She was clearly trying to look like Diamond Tiara, yet her own personality shone through the attempt. There was no way she wouldn’t become a target.
Babs smirked, realizing that, if she took the lead on this, it would cement her place with these two fillies. That way, even if they learned about what was really going on for her, back in Manehatten, they wouldn’t care, because she’d have proven herself one of them in their eyes.
“Hey,” she said, getting the two’s attention, “how’s about we go after that filly next?”
The two fillies’s eyes followed the direction she was pointing. Babs had barely taken a step forward, however, before she felt herself being yanked by two pairs of forelegs and was hurried into a nearby clump of bushes.
“Are you out of your mind, Babs?!” Diamond Tiara demanded.
For a second, the Apple thought she’d done something wrong in taking the lead and that Diamond was angry at her for overstepping the boundaries. That was until she saw the look in Diamond Tiara’s eyes. They were not eyes filled with anger, but pure fear.
“Huh?” Babs couldn’t help cocking an eyebrow. Why was Diamond so scared of somepony who was pretending to look like her?
“That’s Screwball!” Silver Spoon hissed, seeming just as terrified as her friend. “Only an idiot, not caring for their life, would mess with her!”
Babs looked between the two, her confusion only having grown from their explanations. “What, yer scared o’ a filly that looks like Diamond?”
“I’m not scared of my own little sister,” Diamond shook her head firmly, “I was scared for what would happen to you if you messed with her!”
Babs blinked, before frowning slightly. “Little sister? Yer saying yer scared o’ what yer little sister would do ta me if I messed with her? Sure yer not just being a bit of a protective big sister, there, Diamond Tiara?”
Diamond’s eyes widened and she sputtered for several moments before finally finding her voice again. “Be protective— of Screwball. I— but— Okay, maybe I am being a little protective, but what would you expect of a big sister?! Besides, it’s not really like she needs my protection anyway.”
This just confused Babs further.
“She has Chaos Magic, Babs,” Silver Spoon hissed. “Do you really wanna get on the wrong side of somepony with that kind of power?”
Babs felt completely lost now. “Chaos Magic? What in the hay are ya talkin’ about?”
Diamond pulled her attention back to her. “Do you remember when Discord got out?”
Babs nodded slowly. “Yeah, the papers in Manehatten had a big story on it. Something about how Equestria was almost warped inta sumthing weird.”
“Screwball was in the hospital when Discord got out,” Silver took over. “He found her and did something to her that backfired and she absorbed all the Chaos Magic that was left behind after he was sealed away again.”
“Now, Screwball can do pretty much anything he can do. so, if you read the story, you know she could send you into another dimension if she was angry enough.”
“That’s why we pulled you back, before you did something that caused you something we don’t even wanna think about,” Silver Spoon nodded.
Babs looked between the two, then to Diamond. “She’s yer sister, right? She can’t be all tha’ bad.”
“Well, normally, no,” Diamond admitted, sounding half reluctant and half... Babs couldn’t tell. “Most of the time she just makes trouble for our mother. She really hates her and mother seems to feel the same.”
“She’s normally fine around others,” Silver agreed. “Sometimes though, ponies have gotten on her bad side. You don’t want to be one of those ponies, trust me.”
Babs glanced between the two, before a thought came to mind. The way they spoke aobut being on Diamond’s sister’s bad side, it almost sounded like... “Have... have yous two ever... been on her bad side?”
Diamond and Silver shared a look, before Silver looked into Babs’ eyes. “We’re not sure if we were on not, but, what she did made us never want to be on that side of her ever again.”
“And we’d rather you not get on there either,” Diamond nodded, “for your own sake. So, let’s leave my sister alone and just go find those Cutie Mark Cry Babies again.”
Babs hesitated for a moment, before deciding to follow along.
NOW
I’d been fully aware of the three fillies the whole time I was speaking with Davenport. I’d never been more proud of Diamond before then than I am now for what she did.
She was putting Babs’ safety over her own in that moment. Yes, it was slightly tainted by the fact she was willing to just go back to tormenting the CMC using Apple Bloom’s own cousin, but it was still a noble thing trying to shine through.
I just hope I can keep that part of her somewhere close by until the CMC finally pull her completely out of her shell. And with Spoiled around, that isn’t an easy task.
“I’m just glad this week is almost over,” Silver says, sounding drained. “That many Pinkie Pies running around town... I’m going to be having nightmares for weeks.”
Yeah. I thankfully was able to avoid that, for the most part. I’d been hanging out with Zecora, if only because I wanted to steer clear of the Pinkies until the time was right.
I only came into town once I sensed all the Pinkies had been rounded up and teleported in to make sure Twilight didn’t accidentally send the real Pinkie into the Mirror Pool... which she nearly did, because the last clone had fallen asleep and tumbled into Pinkie, causing Twilight to almost miss the clone and hit Pinkie instead. Not that Twilight sent them to the pool. I can kinda relate to them, so I teleported each one away whenever Twilight zapped them, giving the illusion of her dispelling them and gave them all their own lives... which, strangely enough, still kinda seem like a life Pinkie could have if she chose to.
Plus, Pinkie wasn’t the only problem we had to deal with. Trixie came back with the Alicorn Amulet. I actually tried to head Trixie off before she reached Ponyvile.
You’d think I could’ve used my Chaos Magic to stop her but, no. Apparently that was one of the times I couldn’t fully interfere and got myself almost turned into a candy bar for my troubles.
Soon as I’d realized I couldn’t do anything to stop Trixie due to the unspoken rules a Chaos Being like myself has to follow, I teleported to Zecora’s and waited for Twilight. Soon as Twilight had figured out the plan to stop Trixie by making her think Twilight’s fake amulet was more powerful, I’d gone back with them, remaining hidden, shrunken to mouse size, in Twilight’s mane.
I helped her pull of a few extra tricks to fool Trixie, like turning Spike into a pony and back.
I wasn’t around during the events of Spike at Your Service because I’d been checking in on Babs in Manehatten, namely because of a fic I’d read way back before becoming Screwball, where Mosely Orange had arranged for Babs to be foalnapped and just wanted to be sure this Equestria’s Mosely wasn’t like that. And he’s not; still a full of himself ass, though.
But Silver’s right. This week has been exhausting. I think, for this weekend, I’m going on vacation to the Crystal Empire. Maybe I can tease Cadance and Shining Armour about having a foal, since I know they will eventually. Or maybe I’ll check on Sombra and Hope, see how they’ve been doing.
Either way, once that bell rings to end the day, I am so going to finally get some relaxation done.
“Now, can somepony tell me the answer?” Cheerilee asked, indicating to the mathematics question on the board.
“Eleventy...six!” Snails called out, raising his hoof into the air.
The whole class bursts out laugh and I just face hoof.
“Oh, please,” Diamond snorts, “that doesn’t even make sense.”
“Make sense? Oh, what fun is there in making sense?”
I bolt upright and look around, several others in the class doing the same.
Oh no. Not today? Really?
There’s a big flash of light and the Chaos Lord himself is standing atop my desk. “Greetings, everypony. How’s school doing? Learn anything new today?”
“Like how a certain Chaos Lord is pissing me off right now?” I deadpan.
Discord pretends to look hurt, crocodile tears and all. And I mean crocodile tears, they were shaped like crocodiles. “Oh, my little Screwball, is that anyway to welcome back your dear old dad after so long?”
“DAD?!” everypony save the CMC, Diamond and Silver shout.
My deadpan turns into a scowl. “I’ll tell you the same I told Spoiled. You don’t have the right to call yourself my parent until you earn it.”
Discord smirks down at me, leaning down and pinching my cheeks, but backs off after I growl like a pit-bull. “Oh, Screwy, once I take back the magic you stole from me, you won’t even remember having a say in the matter.”
Before anypony can do anything, his eagle talon plunges into my chest, not in a gorey way, just phases in and doesn’t come out the other side.
Doesn’t stop everypony from screaming in terror, though.
The only one not scared, is me.
After a few seconds, Discord frowns in confusion, before looking to me.
I smirk. “Wow, Dad. Talk about not giving me any credit. Did you really think I wouldn’t have prepared for that?”
Before he can respond, my eyes glow red and I give him a X-Men Cyclops laser eye attack. He tumbled back, causing Miss Cheerilee’s desk to topple and break into several pieces.
I hop up onto my desk and snort, scrapping the wood like a bull about to charge. “Wanna try again, Dad?”
Discord pulls himself from the wreckage of Miss Cheerilee’s desk, glowering at me. “It would seem I underestimated your ingenuity, daughter. If Fluttershy wasn’t already on her way back, we would settle this now. Til next time, daughter.”
With a snap of his talon, he was gone.
Using my own magic, I fixed Miss Cheerilee’s desk and made it look like Discord had never been here.
“Sorry, everypony,” I sigh, looking around at all of them. “At least Fluttershy will have him reformed pretty soon.”
“You knew Discord would break out again?!” Diamond’s eyes widened in horror.
I shake my head. “He didn’t escape. The Element Bearers let him out.”
“WHAT?!”
If Discord doesn’t give me some rest this weekend, I swear, I’ll make him regret the day he found me.
Let the Shipping begin... Nopony Said This was Gonna Be Easy
I groan, flopping down on my bed. Wow, was that a trying day. At least I’ve still got tomorrow off, so I won’t go to school completely wiped.
Let me back up a bit.
THE PREVIOUS DAY
To say Discord made it a tiring day would be the understatement of Equestria’s history. I had to explain the reasoning behind Discord’s release so many times before everypony got it, that I honestly wanted to rip my hair out.
I plod down the road towards the mansion, wanting badly to just relax. I’m so mentally drained I can’t even be bothered teleporting there. That’s how exhausting explaining it all was.
“I didn’t think it would be that big a deal.”
I stop, my face deadpanning as I look up to see a pair of eyes and a tooth on a street sign.
“You can’t just leave it alone, can you?” I ask flatly.
Discord squeezes out of the sign like a from a tube of toothpaste, coiling down before me, then hopping back up, looking like his normal self.
He looks away. “Sorry I... tried to steal your magic.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, I don’t believe you’re really reformed, Discord. Even Fluttershy’s not a miracle worker.”
He blinks in surprise. “Wait. How did you know I was released to be reformed by Fluttershy?”
I roll my eyes again and point to him, then my eyes. “You put the Chaos Magic in me and you’re asking how I know shit I shouldn’t, like how you used to be Starswirl the Bearded until you used your unfinished spell and it turned you into what you are now?”
Now horror enters his eyes and he shoots forward, putting his lion paw over my mouth, looking around frantically, before hissing, “Don’t just blab stuff like that out in the open! Yes, that spell is what changed me into what am now after I used it on myself, but don’t blab it so loud! Are you nuts?”
My eyes narrow as my mouth appears over his paw. “I’m not nuts, I’m Screwball.”
He pulls his paw back and my mouth is still on my face as I continue giving him a flat look.
I sigh. “Fine. Let’s just get this over with already. I’ve got better things to do than hang around you, Dissy.”
That causes him to raise an eyebrow in confusion. “Dissy?”
There’s a flash of light and we’ve teleported to a field several hundred miles away from Ponyville.
“Here, nopony will get in the way,” I state, switching to my human form, wearing orange shirt like Goku’s, only with my name on the front instead, and taking a fighting stance. “Let’s just do this already.”
He blinks, before laughing, falling over in the air. “Y-you- you want to fight me? Me, the Lord of Chaos?”
I snap my fingers, reenergising myself. “Come on.”
He stops laughing suddenly, straightens up and gives a sneer. “Very well, Screwball. Let’s fight.”
I leap forward, my right arm pulled back for a punch. Discord just snaps his fingers and a wall appears before me.
teleport through it, reappearing behind him, causing him to glance back in shock.
“Kamehameha!” I say really fast, my hands pressed together and aimed at his face.
It happens too fast for him to teleport and he tumbled around, skidding along the ground. Then he’s behind me and grasps me in his eagle paw.
I turn my head around like an owl and fire an Energy Wave from my mouth.
Discord screams as it hit him in the eyes. He releases me and I drop to the ground. “Here’s some DBZ for ya, Dissy.”
He shakes his head to clear his eyes and glances down, only to get an uppercut to the face, sending him hurtling into the air, where I teleport up and start with a barrage of punches and kicks, doing the Dragon Ball Z blur fists.
With a final punch I send him soaring down, only to feel something looming above me.
Suddenly, he’s in front of me, I snarl at his face as bunch of boulders come flying at me.
I maneuver around them, before flying up into the sky, holding my arms up, a giant Spirit Bomb appearing, I tossing it down. A quick snap of my fingers and his feet are encased in cement. This distraction is enough that the Spirit Bomb comes down on him, causing a massive explosion, leaving the surrounding area a chard land.
“Nice try, daughter,” a deep growl causes me to whirl around, only to find my lower half held in his gripping eagle talon again and I’m somehow a pony again. “Now, how about we end this?”
I smirk. “Sure.” I lift my hands up to my beanie and pull it off, holding it out to Discord like it’s a laser and Fluttershy flies out.
She looks confused for a moment, which is fine as her appearance has thrown Discord’s concentration off, but then she gives him a very disapproving look.
“Discord. How dare you? You told me you think of Screwball like your daughter and I find you fighting her?”
I find great amusement at the flustered look on Discord’s face as he tries to backtrack, clearly still not understand why she came out of my beanie in the first place. “I... well... that is... listen, it’s not...”
I just lean back in the air in an armchair, with a bag of popcorn and enjoy the show.
“You told me you wouldn’t be cruel to anypony again and here I find you trying to fight your own daughter?” Fluttershy scolds, her forelegs folded.
“To be fair, she’s no pushover. She did some things even I’ve never thought of,” Discord tries to defend himself, and from the look in his eyes after speaking, he realizes he just admitted I outsmarted him and the displeasure it gives him is delicious.
Fluttershy’s eyes narrow. “You were still trying to hurt somepony and your own daughter at that. I’m disappointed in you Discord.”
Ouch. The look in his eyes when she says that. He may not be fully reformed yet, but the only friend you’ve ever had saying they’re disappointed in you? Ooh, that’s gotta sting.
“Now, I suggest you go and think about what you’ve done and we’ll meet for afternoon tea, tomorrow,” Fluttershy says pointing off in no direction in particular.
Discord slumps, gives me a dirty look, then teleports away.
I make my armchair and popcorn vanish, as well as return the land to normal again. Floating over to Fluttershy, I hold out a hoof. “Thanks for giving me the okay to do that whenever he’s getting too annoying.”
She turns around, smiling sheepishly. “Oh, that’s okay, Screwball. Though, knowing everything that was going on so suddenly like that is a little unnerving. Plus, I had hoped we wouldn’t be doing that so soon. I guess, since it’s only the first real day, he’s just off to a rocky start. I’m sure Discord will get much better before long.”
Yeah. Until Tirek convinces him to be a dick again. But, I’ll leave her to be happy for now.
“Um, can you send me back now?” she asks, blushing a little. “Angel and I were cleaning up the house when you pulled me here.”
“Sure, no problem,” I hold out my beanie and she’s sucked back in, returning her to her cottage. I put my beanie back on my head, yawn, and teleport back home for some rest.
THIS MORNING
I’m awoken by a scroll flopping onto my face. Sitting up and levitating it, I open the note and read down.
Seconds later I bound out of bed. Luna’s arranged lunch with Rarity and Blueblood is today and it’s already past 11am. No way I’m I missing this.
I barrel downstairs, give a good morning to everypony, a pie in the face to Spoiled as I grab a snack by poofing up some chocolate filled croissants for brunch and head out to Canterlot.
A quick teleport as I munch down on my food and I find myself standing next to Luna. Gotta say, I’m impressed. She doesn’t even flinch when I just am suddenly next to her. The only time Celestia didn’t at least blink in shock was when I came to her room after that day I went around pranking the nobles.
“Good day, Screwball. Are you ready?”
I nod, smirking. “I’ve nothing planned today, so I’ll hang around, invisible. I wanna see how this goes. You neglected to tell Blueblood Rarity will be joining you both?”
The Alicorn nods, a sly smile on her own lips. “Nor have I informed Lady Rarity of such, either.” Her expression worries, just a tad. “Are you sure this will work?”
I nod, before scratching my neck anxiously. “Well, to be honest, no. But, seeing as your nephew isn’t the giant dick I originally thought he was and seemed genuinely upset after he learned Rarity had actually wanted to get to know him, not his money, I feel he deserves a second chance.”
“My nephew is not whom I worry about in this,” Luna says, looking uncertain. “Whilst I know he is a good stallion at heart...”
I sigh, looking away. “Yeah. Rarity still thinks he’s a colossal cunt.”
Luna’s eyes widen.
I sigh again. “Sorry. Keep forgetting how disconcerting it is for other ponies to hear me talk like that.” Though that’s namely because I speak that way with Spoiled whenever she ticks me off. So, pretty much whenever she and I interact. I shake my head and look to Luna. “Listen, I know Rarity’s current views of Blueblood are... less than flattering, but I’m sure it’s just butthurt from how she felt after the way he treated her at the gala. We just need to make sure things go so she at least sees he’s a good stallion.”
“You believe this one meeting will allow them to be a couple as both would prefer it in their hearts?”
I shake my head. “I’m not looking to make a miracle here, Luna. Getting them on friendly terms with each other is more what I’m going for right now. That can lead to a relationship later, but to expect it to happen right away is really unrealistic. Even Discord would agree with me on that. It’s not like this is a show for little girls.”
Luna looks at me for a few moments, before sighing. “Very well. Are you sure you won’t need to interfere?”
I shake my head. “From what I’ve seen of your nephew, he’ll be fine. I’ve no doubt Rarity will be rude to him at first, but when she sees he’s honest about being sorry for how he treated her, whilst it might not break the ice, it will have melted it a little.”
“So, who is this other important guest you invited, Auntie Luna?” Prince Blueblood asks as he and Luna are seated in a private dining room, himself clearly trying to hide his displeasure at the idea of entertaining some full of themself high society pony.
Like most castle dining rooms, it is ridiculously large. I even had a game of Quitich with several copies of myself up there whilst I waited for things to finally start going.
The walls are covered in designs reminiscent of Greek architecture, but then that’s the way the show was originally designed anyway. Tall pillar with Greek patterning and not so Greek chandeliers hanging from above.
The table isn’t as long and ridiculous to the point that if one pony sat on one end and another pony the other, they’d have to shout to hear each other. It is wide, but only to a degree that at least ten others could be seated along with Luna, Blueblood and their other guest.
The table itself is covered in fine foods, like free salads of several different kinds, cakes and pastries of several kinds, including what I know is Moon Cake, a milk and white chocolate cake that, whilst cake in general is Celestia’s big weakness with food, Moon Cake is Luna’s.
Plates of artistically arrange fruits and vegetables were lain out on the table, not super, overly the top fancy, like at say the gala or at the parties put on by those of the Canterlot Elite who just want to flaunt how well off they are, but fancy enough that you know this isn’t just a simple lunch meeting.
Suddenly there is a loud sound from outside and the ornate double doors opened, revealing an alabaster mare wearing a gorgeous, yet subtle yellow gown, her purple mane curled more than ususal in a very fancy style, similar to when she becomes crystallized in the Crystal Empire.
Blueblood’s eyes widen at the sight of her in that smitten way a stallion’s does when they see an amazingly beautiful mare, which is followed by recognition as he quickly stands, trying to keep his jaw from hanging open.
“L-Lady Rarity?”
Rarity pauses as the doors close, her eyes falling upon the other unicorn and her expression sours. “Oh, it’s you.”
My heart goes out to Blueblood as he wilts from that response. Ouch, that had to hurt. Then again, nopony said this was going to be easy.
As Rarity moves to take her seat, however, Blueblood lights his horn and pulls it out for her.
She pauses, glancing at him suspiciously... and I can kinda understand why. She has no real reason to trust him right now and besides, that’s the beginning of one of the greatest pranks you can pull back when you were a kid.
But, after a few moments of him giving an anxious smile and her finally deciding he wasn’t going to pull anything, she sniff, then takes her seat. “I see you’ve at least acquired some manners since the gala.”
And once again Rarity’s words make Blueblood wilt. I glance at Luna and see her levitate a cup of tea and take a sip. Okay, I know she isn’t okay with how sad Blueblood is and knows that he’s trying to make up for how he treated Rarity, so I’ve gotta give her props for her acting.
Lunch begins and... well, to say it feels awkward would be the biggest understatement since “Spoiled is a horrible mother”.
“So, Rarity, have you any plans regarding Canterlot in the near future?” Luna asks, before taking a bit of a portion of a very fancy looking penne cabonara.
Rarity wipes her lips delicately with a napkin, before looking to the princess and smiling. “This summer I shall be entering a fashion contest hosted by Prim Hemline.”
Luna smiles. “I look forward to seeing your new designs.”
Rarity politely chuckles. “Oh, thank you, princess. I do hope I can win. I’m actually developing my own special fabric, just for the contest.”
“You managed to create a whole new design of fabric?” Blueblood blinks, shocked and impressed.
Rarity’s happy smile thins quickly as she glances at him. “Indeed, I am in the development.”
I can’t help feeling bad for Blueblood as I munch on a chocolate croissant from a plate I’d noticed near Luna. I have a feeling she knew I was in the mood for those today and had some arranged just for me to eat, even though I am like the fly on the wall of this lunch.
Blueblood wilts a little bit, before glancing at Luna and getting a glance to indicated her pushing him to talk. He takes a deep breath, then looks to Rarity, whilst not meeting her eyes. “Lady Rarity, I...” He sighs, and tries again. “I am sorry that our last encounter was... well, my behavior was putrid, to put it mildly.”
I facehoof. Aw, crap, Blueblood. No. No, that is not what you should’ve said at all.
Rarity’s eyes narrow, proving my point. “Our last encounter? Do you mean to tell me you don’t even remember several weeks before Discord escaped?”
Blueblood blinks, looking confused and I just shake my head. This will not go well.
Rarity narrows her eyes further and sits up straighter. “Well, then, let me remind you, your highness, that we have interacted once before today that was not at the gala.”
That causes Blueblood to cock his head. Dude, digging your own grave here. Please remember before she has to spell it out.
His lack of understanding just seems to make Rarity angrier. “Then allow me to clarify; the mare you asked to come and christen one of the new Sky Ships? The one you were told through the grapevine that was the talk of Canterlot?”
Blueblood frowns slightly, glancing down, before he looks up again, his eyes widened in understanding and shock. “You mean, I—?”
“Yes!” Rarity snaps, glaring coldly at him. “I was that mare. How you didn’t even recognize me I would question, but considering your arrogant behavior at the gala, I honestly don’t know why I am the least bit surprised!”
Blueblood wilts once more, his ears splaying down on his head.
A cough causes them and myself to look to Luna, who has a neutral expression. “Rarity, whilst I will agree, I am disappointed to know my nephew failed to remember you from your previous encounter,” I really hope Luna’s going somewhere with this, as the saddened expression the stallion gets after those words is not encouraging, “have you never thought to ask as to just why he behaved as he did during the gala?”
“Well, no,” Rarity said with only the slightest bit of hesitation, before looking to Blueblood. “However, one cannot be blamed when they were treated as poorly as I on that night.”
Luna just nods ever so slightly. “True, but mayhap you could ask now? Tia has told me something quite interesting that you yourself might find quite surprising.”
Rarity gave Blueblood a skeptical look, but nodded. “Very well, princess. Your highness?”
Blueblood realized she was referring to him now and sat up. He cleared his throat, before taking a deep breath and began.
“Well, as you can imagine, being a member of royalty is something many ponies are envious of, so much so that ponies are willing to do whatever they can to become a part of royalty or high in society.”
Rarity looks away with a glare, and I have a hunch she’s remembering a certain pair of unicorns who had insulted Ponyville after thinking her hat had looked lovely until learning of its origins.
“Yes. I can believe that very easily.”
Blueblood nods and they share a moment of similar-minded thinking, before he continues. “Well, let’s just say that, in my foalhood, I had very few friends.”
“With the state of your manners at the gala, that doesn’t surprise me at all,” Rarity mutters, though thankfully, it seems Blueblood didn’t hear her. The slight frown from Luna, however, indicates that she did.
“That is not to say I did not try,” Blueblood continues, unaware of Rarity’s snipe. “No, I would go out and try to make friends whenever I could.” He sighs, looking away. “However, every time I thought I had made a friend, I quickly learned from their words that they were only interested in the fact that I am a prince and not the idea of being my actual friend. After several years of it, I gave up for the most part, trusting only ponies my auntie recommended to me.
One friend I made was a stallion by the name of Fancy Pants, whom I found enjoyed his high society life, but was very interested in those in rural towns.”
Now Rarity is paying attention. “You and Fancy Pants are friends?”
He nods, looking slightly embarrassed. “We got into quite the trouble when we could. Auntie Tia took it all in good fun, but the guards and other high up ponies were not so pleased.”
Rarity gets a slightly misty look and I kept help wondering what antics from her own past she’s thinking of.
“Throughout my foalhood, Fancy, his friend Fleur and the maids were the only real friends I had,” the prince goes on. “When we started getting older, I noticed more mares were trying to meet me and being friendly towards me. Auntie Tia told me to be cautious, as she had been dealing with them during her court and turning them away when they would, in what she called very unsubtlety, demand that I be engaged to one of their daughters.”
“Nobles wishing to brown-nose themselves without too much trouble, I imagine,” Rarity says stiffly.
Blueblood nods. “When that didn’t work, they used their own daughters to try and get to me. At first, I allowed my young mind to runaway with me and convinced myself that sometimes the mares were actually interested in me... however, it soon became obvious from how they reacted around the castle staff when they thought I couldn’t tell that I saw their kindness was but a lie.”
He sighs, looking exhausted.
“It soon became routine for me; a lovely mare would approach me, looking as beautiful as she possibly could. We would talk, seem on good terms, but then they would slip and I would see through their act to their true intentions, marry into the crown to live easier lives, without having to try as hard as many others do just to live normal lives.”
Another sigh and he looks to her apologetically. “Which, I’m ashamed to say, is how I saw you that night at the gala, Lady Rarity.”
Rarity sits up straighter, clearly taken aback by that. “Miou?”
He nods, smiling slightly. “I had just several moments ago set away another mare. After so long dealing with mares only interested in my royalty and not myself as a pony, I had developed a method for getting rid of them without too much hassle. What turns a mare off from a stallion, regardless of their wealth or power quickly?”
Rarity blinks. “When... she finds the stallion is one she wouldn’t actually want to be with.”
He nods again, a little eagerness entering his smile. “I had learned after so long to tell when a mare isn’t interested in me per say. They tend to flirt, laugh at anything I say, even when I myself know it isn’t that funny and finally, they always come wearing outfits that look like they were made in the finest clothing store in Canterlot. So, whenever I encountered a mare I could tell was like that, I would act like I thought so highly of myself that I’d fit right in with the nobles that see themselves as only bettered by the princesses themselves.”
Rarity blinks, before frowning slightly and glancing at Luna. “Princesses? But...”
“Cadance,” she chuckles. “With myself not accountable at the time, she and Celestia were the only Alicorn princesses, thus the highest of royal status.”
Rarity looks back to Blueblood as he nods. “It always works. I never met a mare willing to hang around me when I acted as such for more than a few minutes.” His expression saddens a little and he looks down. “At least, until I met you, Lady Rarity.”
Rarity cocks an eyebrow. “Me? I... what do you mean?”
He sighs, before looking to her without lifting his head. “I had just dealt with another mare whom was only interested in my status, so I was still feeling a bit bitter, I suppose at having encountered such a pony again.”
Rarity nods slightly, her brow creasing. “Yes, such ponies are not ones anypony cannot leave behind and not feel sour after encountering.”
He takes a sip of his a sip of his drink before continuing. “Well, whilst her dress was nowhere near as amazing as your own, it was similar in how expensive it looked. And, with how beautiful you had made yourself to look and how expensive you gown was, I assumed you were just like all the other mares and you had been waiting to meet with me after I sent that other mare away.”
Rarity nods slowly, then frowns. “Now, hold on a minute. I’ll have you know that gown I wore was created by the combined efforts of my friends to cheer me up after I was left feeling horrible and unwilling to finish it myself.”
Blueblood sits up, looking taken aback. “You mean, it wasn’t bought?”
Rarity huffs, tossing her head back. “Far from it. I would never wear something just because it is the most expensive-looking outfit. Such things are for ponies just trying to make themselves look better than they actually are.” Then under her breath, though I make sure Blueblood will be able to hear, “Like a certain pair of unicorns I had the misfortune of meeting during that week in Canterlot where we met, yet you forgot.”
As much as it is a dig at him again, I can tell from his expression he chose to ignore it and focused more on her emotions towards the unicorns she mentioned.
However, Rarity then blinks, before looking at him with a slight bit of shock in her eyes. “Wait, so, you were only acting the way you did around me...?”
He nods, his shamed expression returning. “I thought you wouldn’t care about who I am, only what I am. So I acted as stuck-up as I could to make you want to go away. I didn’t expect you to keep trying; I just thought you were really persistent.”
Rarity frowns then, before pointing a hoof at him. “Then what about when you tasted one of Applejack’s apple fritters? You spat it out and dared to call it, if I recall, common carnival fair! What do you have to say to that?”
A different expression passes over Blueblood at the mention of that, a look of longing mixed with sadness. “Oh, how I wished I’d not done that,” he sighs, slumping forward, leaning his head on the table in a very unprince-like manner. “I... it was so...”
Luna chuckles, causing Rarity to turn to her. “What my nephew means, dear Rarity, is that he hated that part probably the most whilst under the impression you were just another gold digger. Have you not thought as to whom has been making so many large orders from Sweet Apple Acres since the gala, especially when it came to the fritters?”
Rarity’s mouth hangs open for a few moments, before her head moves from Luna to the prince. “But— Do you mean—? Are you telling me that—?”
Luna nods, a smirk on her face. “As much as I have had to keep an eye on my sister’s affections for cakes, I am also having to have the castle staff keep an eye on my dear nephew’s consumption of products from Sweet Apple Acres.”
“So fresh and crisp,” Blueblood murmurs, clearly not speaking to anypony, just thinking out loud. “And the blending of the apples and the cinnamon... It was just so... so...”
A cough from Rarity causes the prince to yelp like a colt and he sits up straight, his cheeks red with embarrassment.
“So, if I am to understand everything right, you wish to apologize for your behaviour and you wish us to start anew?” the unicorn mare asks, giving him a small smile.
He looks down, cheeks still flushed red as he nods.
She gives a light chuckle. “Very well, then. I’ll be generous enough to give you another chance, Prince Blueblood. Oh, and one more thing,” she glancing towards Luna, her smile becoming wry. “You can show yourself, Screwball.”
I’m taken so aback I drop onto the table, landing in a pot of cheese fondo. Once I’ve got my bearings, I pop my head out and shake it, before looking to Rarity with an open mouth.
“How...? How did you...?”
Prince Blueblood is looking just as shocked as I am, though his shock is likely more due the fact that he has just found out somepony else was here the entire time without him knowing.
Rarity’s smile somehow becomes wrier, if that’s possible. “Please, darling. My talent is having an eye for details. I noticed how, despite none of us having gone for them, the plate of chocolate croissants were gradually lessening in amount. And knowing your affection for sweets like Discord, it wasn’t too hard to figure out.”
I... I... I’m impressed. That is not something I was expecting.
From there, things go a lot better. I join in lunch and spend the time chatting with Luna, whilst we leave Rarity and Blueblood to talk amongst themselves. It is quite endearing to see them talking about how they dislike so many of the high society ponies like Jet Set and Upper Crust to name a few.
At the end of it all, when Blueblood asks if Rarity would want to go out sometime for maybe a coffee or something, she agrees in a friendly manner, though says she’d choose the place they go.
NOW
And that’s brings us back to the present. Yeah, handling all that turned out to be way more tiring than I expected.
After I got home, I had dinner with Diaomond and Daddy (Spoiled sadly could not make it due to being at a school board meeting late), so we had a nice, family meal together, before i brushed my teeth, had a shower, all the usual before bed stuff you do, then teleported in here.
I sigh, letting my eyes close. Part of me is trying to remind me that, with Rarity and Blueblood maybe on their way to being a couple, I’m slightly risking the timeline, not to mention how Spike will feel when he finds out, but I know several prime waifu material for the little guy that will be more appropriate for him to go after.
I yawn as I wake, before sitting up and stretching. Well, yesterday was kinda fun. Diamond, Silver and I got to have some actual fun, without Spoiled’s influence tainting it at all.
We just hung around Sugar Cube Corner for while, before I took Diamond and Silver to the Canterlot mall. What’s the point of having Chaos powers that let you teleport at will if you can’t treat your own sister every now and then, right?
Whilst Diamond and Silver were having fun looking at some fashion stores, I’d quickly popped back to Ponyville. My intention was to talk with Twilight about a few matters I realized I’d unintentionally been putting off, only to find that was when she and the rest of the Mane Six went to the Crystal Empire and got into that misunderstanding regarding Harsh Whiney.
With that knowledge in mind, I’d been about to head back to Canterlot so Diamond, Silver and I could continue or Spoiled-free day, when I saw Spike being dragged through town by the Mane Six’s pets.
It was just at that point where they went past Screwloose’s house as she had bide the nurse caring for her farewell. Not wanting any confusion or Loosey to end up back in hospital when she doesn’t need to be, I hurried over and explained the situation to the nurse, pointing to Spike and the pets to prove my point.
With the matter settled, I returned to Canterlot and spent the day with Diamond and Silver. I even got to enjoy tormenting Jet Set and Upper Crust again when they dared to treat Diamond like dirt by taking something she’d been about to buy.
Wonder what today’s gonna be like.
As I hop out of bed, I realize I’ve almost forgotten to do something. Quickly teleporting downstairs and having a quick breakfast of quiche that she chef made for me, I bid him and my family good day, before teleporting into the Equestria Girls world.
I’ve appeared in an alley not too far from the hospital my dimensional counterpart is recovering in. A quick snap of my fingers and I’ve taken on my Nyx persona. I’m now wearing a purple skirt, a black shirt under a purple vest. On my feet are simply black shoes, over ankle-high, bright blue socks.
I casually adjust the midnight-purple glasses with the slightest of gloss.
I snap my fingers, making a full-body mirror appear before me. after a quick onceover, I nod, satisfied. Another snap and the mirror is gone and I leave the alley and head for the hospital.
Walking in, I snap my fingers as I head up to the front desk. “Excuse me?”
The woman at the front desk looks up at the sound of my voice, or rather, Nyx’s voice.
I smile at her. “I’m here to see Lilac Rich?”
She opens a small book that holds booked appointments for patient visitors, finding Nyx’s name, a slight frown on her face. “Odd,” she mumbles. “I don’t remember seeing this before... I really need a vacation.”
She gives me the room number and I nod, heading off in that direction. After a few minutes, I find Lilac’s room and enter.
I pause as I see a nurse is with her, wondering why Lilac isn’t alone, before remembering that, unlike me, her mind is at a lot younger state, more along the lines of an infant or toddler, so having someone nearby at all times would be the responsible idea.
“Oh, hello,” the nurse says, looking from the very simple, yet brightly coloured puzzle she had been working on with Lilac. She has long blonde hair tied back in a bun, brown eyes and yellow skin. On her nurse’s hate is a blue cross with a dove behind it. “I’m Nurse Fair Wind.”
I smile at her. “I’m Nyx.”
She nods, before looking back at Lilac, who has stopped working on the puzzle and is looking at me with curiosity. “Have you come to visit Lilac?”
I nod again as I walk in.
“Are you a relative?”
“You could say that,” I say.
Lilac looks at me curiously, cocking her head to one side.
“Nurse Fair Wind to Doctor Bandage’s office,” the intercom suddenly says, startling us all. “Nurse Fair Wind to Doctor Bandage’s office please.”
Nurse Fair Wind sighs, before glancing to Lilac. “I need to go for a few minutes, Lilac. Will you be okay?”
Lilac looks to her, her eyes a little sad, before turning to look at me and smiles. “Friend stay.”
I nod. “I wasn’t exactly planning on leaving any time too soon.”
Nurse Fair Wind smiles and nods. “Be careful not to upset her, okay.”
I nod once again. “Not a problem, nurse.”
With that, she heads out, leaving Lilac and myself only together in the room.
“Why not tell?”
I blink, turning to Lilac, an eyebrow raised. “Tell what?”
“Tell nurse real name,” she says, looking confused. “Why look like other girl when you not when Daddy with me?”
I blink, before my eyes widen. Wait, did...? Did she actually notice me that first time? How? I was invisible and she’s just a normal human, with no magic at all. How did...? But why...?
Lilac just keeps looking at me with confusion.
I sit, thinking for a few moments, before sighing. “Lilac... this is really complicated. Some pon— Some people here can’t know about me yet. Pretty soon I can be me again, but for now, no one can know someone like me exists.”
She cocks her head. “Who can’t know?”
“Diamond and Filthy, for a start,” I say without thinking, clamping a hand over my mouth.
“Sister and Daddy?” Lilac looks more confused. “Why?”
I shake my head, before smiling. “It’s a long story, Lilac. It would take more time than I really should be here for now to tell. Instead,” using my magic, I levitate several of the remaining pieces of the puzzle into the air and float them around, “let’s have some fun.”
“Ooh,” the other girl says, looking up at the floating pieces of cardboard in amazement.
We spend the next few minutes playing around. First we work together to finish the puzzle, myself using magic the whole time, then we played with some other toys Lilac had in the room.
I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes and groaning when I saw they were all toys of the ponies back in Equestria, including Celestia and Luna.
After some time, Nurse Fair Wind returned, to find Lilac and I laughing at some of the stories I’d been telling her about my life in Equestria.
“I see you two have been having fun,” she smiles as she walks in.
We both nod.
“Nyx lots of fun,” Lilac grins, laughing happily. “Lots and lots o’ fun!”
“Gland I’m up to par,” I grin back, leaning on my hands.
Nurse Fair Wind smiles, before sitting down in the seat she’d been in before I came in. “I’m sorry to ask you to leave, Nyx, but Lilac needs to have a check-up now.”
“Hey, no problem,” I wave a hand, springing myself up with a push from my hand, landing on my feet. “I’ve been in hospital a few times myself, so I know the drill. It’s cool.”
It’s true. Back when I was a normal human, I’d gone into hospital for a brain tumour twice and check-up times a fair amount after, so I’m pretty versed in how things go in hospitals, without having to take my pony life into account.
“Catch ya later, Lilac,” I wave to the girl in the bed, who waves back. “Might see ya around soon.”
“Bye bye,” she calls, waving like an overly enthusiastic child.
I can’t help giving a small smile at that and head out and leave the hospital.
With a bit more time to kill, I think I’ll head for the mall. Might find something interesting there. Maybe I’ll even check out human Rarity’s boutique. Going as Nyx wouldn’t cause any problems, surely?
Smiling to myself, I turn and head down the road towards Canterlot Mall. It’s a nice day, so I don’t see what harm going to the mall could cause. It’s not like there’s something about this world I wouldn’t know that is a reflection of events in Equestria.
The sound of screeching tires and blaring car horns causes me to halt and I whirl around, to see a small blue car has turned, skidding along the road, ending up sitting in the middle of it, facing horizontally, blocking off several other cars that had swerved and braked to avoiding colliding with the stopped car.
The car door is almost thrust open and a women steps out that makes my eyes go wide.
She has very light-blue skin, flowing blue and whitish hair, is wearing long blue pants, a pinkish shirt with a white collar. A collar with a very familiar crescent moon shape on it.
I’m just standing dumbfounded. Vice Principal Luna? What are the odds I’d run into her? Wait. Why did she do that with her car?
“B-Blessed Moon?”
That pulls me out of that train of thought and makes my eyes bug out. What? How does this Luna know that name? She couldn’t. She shouldn’t!
“I... I...” I say, my brain completely blanking on me here. I’d always known there was a risk I’d run into someone from Canterlot High whenever I come to this world, but always had contingency plans in such an event. But this? I...
Vice Principal Luna takes a step forward, before she starts running towards me.
This somehow snaps me out of my trance and, though I don’t know what’s going on, I know I can’t let her catch me, so I turn and bolt. I run down the road, Luna right behind me, calling out for me to stop so she can understand.
Understand? I don’t understand what’s going on, so how could she?
After several blocks, I round a corner and, for some reason only now remembering I have magic, teleport myself up onto the roof of a nearby building and change myself back to normal.
I fall to my knees, gasping to catch my breath, as I watch Vice Principal Luna keep running around the corner and down the path until I can’t see her anymore.
Once I’ve managed to steady myself, I use my magic to bring up a touch screen and search “Blessed Moon and Vice Principal Luna”.
After several moments, the search is complete and I read what it found.
Twilight sighed with relief as she stepped out of her library, fluffing her wings and opening them to let the morning sun shine down and warm her feathers.
Wow, had the previous couple days been eventful. First there was the near disaster she and her friends had almost brought onto the Crystal Empire when they mistook another pony for the Equestria Games Inspector.
Thankfully, that matter had, by sheer luck, sorted itself out.
Then there was the fiasco of yesterday. She still didn’t understand why she’d gone and cast Starswirl’s unfinished spell before looking into it first. Had she not figured out how to restore her friends, things could’ve ended horribly.
Though, that was nothing compared to the shock of finding out that, in fixing Starswirl’s actual spell, she’d created new magic, which caused her to become an Alicorn.
Getting used to her wings would no doubt take a lot of time, but she was sure she could work it out with her friends’ help.
Taking a deep breath of the lovely morning air, she sighed, smiling up at the clear blue sky. “Today is definitely going to fine.”
As she started to walk, she looked around expectantly. Almost every morning since her arrival in Ponyville, she’d see somepony having encountered one of Screwball’s amusing pranks.
That was oddly something Screwball understood compared to, say, Rainbow Dash; some pranks are only funny when the pony you’re pranking finds it funny, even if only in hindsight.
As she glanced around, Twilight found she could see no sign of Screwball or her pranks anywhere.
Twilight closed her eyes and shook her head. It wasn’t too unusual not to see Screwball having pranked at least somepony; not after what Applejack had confided in her about the time she’d found Screwball literally crying a river in one of the Apple Family’s farm’s outer fields.
Sometimes, even Screwball needed some time to unwind and relax.
Also, that little pony had a habit of just disappearing altogether from time to time. She had no idea where the filly would go, either. She had laughed the times she’d learned Screwball had snuck off to Canterlot to prank the nobles.
Though, it was the other places Screwball went to that she didn’t know about that had her curious.
“Princess Twilight!”
The purple Alicorn yelped at the sudden shouting of her name, before turning to see who it was.
Filthy Rich was hurrying in her direction, his daughter, Diamond Tiara, right at his side. Both looked scared, which triggered a warning alarm in Twilight’s mind.
“What is it?” she asked as they stopped in front of her.
“My sister!” Diamond cried, looking worried.
Twilight blinked, before worry came to her own eyes. “Screwball? What about her? What’s happened?”
“We’re not sure,” Filthy said, his anxiety clear on his face. “She came home yesterday and locked herself in her room.”
“We didn’t think much of it at the time, she sometimes does that when she and mother have had one of their rows,” Diamond cut in.
Twilight had to repress a displeased frown at that. She could understand Screwball having rows with her mother, considering when she’d first learned of Screwball herself.
“But, this morning, when Randolph went to get her up, he saw chocolate milk leaking out from under her bedroom door,” Filthy continued as if Diamond hadn’t interrupted him, his eyes suddenly looking more lined. “When he went in, though, he... he saw... Please, Princess, I know we don’t have a right to ask, but we could really use your help.”
Twilight would have told him that he didn’t need to worry about asking her, but put it aside. If something was wrong with Screwball, she wanted to know if she could help.
The three ponies headed back towards the Rich Manor, which Twilight noted had dark clouds hovering over it, though only above the spot where Screwball’s room was located.
They were joined not long after by Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, both of whom they ran past, and tried to catch up to find out what was going on.
Entering the manor, the sound of an angry, scolding voice could be heard drifting to them as they headed towards Screwball’s bedroom.
“...being a whining sook,” Spoiled Rich’s voice carried to them as they moved at a quick pace. Rounding a corner, they found her and Randolph standing in front of Screwball’s bedroom door. Well, Randolph was a little further back, whilst Spoiled was hammering her hoof on the door. “Your chocolate milk is going to ruin the upholstery. And don’t get me started on—”
“Dear, the princess has arrived,” Filthy cut off his wife.
Spoiled turned, her eyes falling on Twilight and widening.
Twilight paid her no mind, however, noticing the pool of chocolate milk coming from under the door frame.
She glanced to Filthy Rich, who nodded sadly. She took this as permission and moved over to the door, before opening it with her magic. she hadn’t meant to do so without knocking first, but assumed that, with her mother having been banging on it for Celestia only knows how long, Screwball wouldn’t have paid attention anyway.
“Screwball?” she called softly as she slowly pushed it open and entered, ignoring the extra chocolate milk that flowed past her hooves as she did so.
What she saw made her eyes widen.
Screwball’s room had pink clouds floating atop the ceiling and chocolate rain was pouring from them, soaking everything in the room. Screwball herself was sitting in the middle of her bed, just sitting, her head bent down, as the rain poured down around her.
Her mane was plastered against her from all the chocolate rain and she looked soaked. However, it was the aura the filly was giving off that worried Twilight.
It was an aura of utter despair. She had seen this a few times in her past, before and after coming to Ponyville. It never led well, and with this being Screwball, the results of whatever was wrong could prove disastrous if not taken care of.
“Screwball?” Twilight called out, louder this time, her voice worried.
The filly murmured something, but Twilight couldn’t make it.
“Screwball, what’s wrong?” she asked, coming over, her own mane and coat being spared the torrent of chocolate milk due to a barrier spell, which she tried to extend to Screwball too, but found herself blocked.
“I killed her,” the filly murmured, but it was so quiet Twilight still couldn’t make it out.
“Screwball, please, tell me what’s wrong,” she asked, leaning closer to try and nuzzle the clearly distraught filly. “Why are you holing up in your room and making it rain chocolate milk, when—?”
“I KILLED HER!” the filly shouted, looking to Twilight with eyes filled with nothing but despair.
Twilight stumbled back from the sudden outburst, before blood ran cold as she took in the words the filly had spoken. “Wh-what do you mean?”
“It’s my fault! She would’ve been fine, if not for me! She’s dead, and it’s all because of me!” the filly wailed, tears streaming from her eyes as the chocolate milk continued to pour around them.
Twilight blinked, trying to understand. “Screwball, what do you mean? What’s your fault? You can tell me—”
“Just leave me alone!” she was interrupted, the heartache in the young filly’s voice tearing at Twilight’s heart. “Spoiled was right all along! I’m a monster! I don’t deserve to live! Just leave me to rot in here!”
And with that, Twilight found herself blown out of the room and the door slamming shut behind her.
“What...? What just happened?” Rainbow asked, looking at everypony gathered.
“I... I don’t know,” Twilight shook her head.
“We need to help her,” Fluttershy said, looking close to tears herself. “Whatever’s wrong, we need to help Screwball through this.”
“I... I don’t know how we can,” Twilight said sadly after lighting her horn. “I just scanned and Screwball has placed so many wards over her room that no magic can get inside.”
“What about Discord?” Rainbow suggested, though her tone made it sound like it was the last thing she wanted to say. “He’s the whole reason Screwball has her powers anyway. Can’t we get him to try and help out? He goes on about how he sees her like his daughter, after all.”
“He does what?” the fillies actual parents asked, though Twilight noticed how Filthy’s tone was of anger, whilst Spoiled’s sounded skeptical.
“Would if I could, Rainbow Crash,” a voice said, causing them all to look to one of the picture frames on the wall.
It was of Stinkin’ Rich and Granny Smith and her family when she was younger, all standing in front of his first official store. However, standing behind them all was someone that had not been there. A draconequus, who was slumping against Stinkin’ Rich’s shoulder, pouting.
“Discord,” Twilight said disapprovingly, “get out of that photo.”
He shrugged, popping away and reappearing in front of them all. Diamond, Filthy and Spoiled noticeably backed away as he loomed over them all.
“Um, what did you mean?” Fluttershy asked, looking up at him.
He continued to pout, folding his arms and looking sourly at the door that was still leaking chocolate milk. “She’s blocking me out as well.”
“How can she block you?” Rainbow Dash glared at him, still peeved for the Crash remark. “You’ve more power than her, don’t you?”
Discord snorted. “Yes and no. We’re both chaotic beings, so we have some hold over each other that the other doesn’t. In this case, she is able to stop me from going some places by blocking me out; including some other dimension she tends to like visiting for whatever reason.”
“Screwball can visit other realities?” Twilight asked, her mouth open wide.
Discord shrugged. “Hello. Being’s of chaos? Hopping between dimensions is foal’s play to us. And no, Twilight Sparkle, I do not know which dimension she went to. Now, if you don’t mind, all this talk is boring me. Toodaloo.”
And with that, he was just gone.
After several moments, they all looked to each other.
“So, if Discord’s not helping, what d’ we do now?” Dash asked, looking to Twilight.
“I don’t know,” Twilight murmured, frowning. “I think I’ll send a message to the princesses. Maybe they’ll have an idea of what we can do.”
“I wish we knew what was upsetting her so much,” Fluttershy said sadly, looking at the door to Screwball’s room. “I don’t like seeing Screwball so sad.”
“Technically, we heard how sad she is. Twilight’s the only one who saw how sad she is out of the three of us. But, yeah, we still need t’ help her,” Dash added after getting frowns from the other two winged ponies.
They assured Filthy and Diamond that they’d see what they could do to help Screwball, before heading out.
As they were leaving, Spoiled looked to the door with a sneer, murmuring under her breath so nopony would hear, “Finally, the monster knows her place.”
Luna walked through the dreamscape, searching through Screwball’s memories.
After the newly crowned Princess Twilight had sent herself and Celestia a message informing that of Screwball’s current state, the Alicorn of the night had taken it upon herself to find out what ailed the young chaotic filly. She felt it was the least she could do in repayment to her, after what she’d done.
Getting Screwball asleep had been an easy task. It seemed the filly had been refusing to sleep since the day she returned home from her inter dimensional travels, thus, a light sleep spell and even she, with all her Chaos Magic, hadn’t been able to fight the Alicorn’s influence.
It was unfortunate that this had to occur so soon. With the summit in the Crystal Empire in a week, she wasn’t sure if it would be a bad thing, having to handle such a delicate task now. But she couldn’t leave it til after, either.
Finally, Luna found the relevant memory. Entering it, she found herself in a place she had not been in centuries, though could still tell where she was.
It was the alternate dimension to which Starswirl’s mirror led, though, compared to her last visit in this place, it had advanced far more than she could’ve expected since her banishment. She had thought Equestria had advanced far more than could be imagined when she returned, this world blew even Equestria’s most recent advancements away.
The moving metal carriages, both for sky and air were intriguing, and she wanted to learn more. However, she controlled her impulses. She was not here to learn how far the alternate world had advanced in her absence; she was here to aid a good friend, to whom she owed a great debt.
Glancing around, she spotted the memory Screwball, in the shape of this world’s dominant beings, sitting atop a building, looking down at a see-through screen of some kind.
Willing herself in range, she looked after Screwball’s shoulder and saw what the young one was seeing. It was not pleasant and almost caused Luna to panic, before remembering this was not her world, thus what she was seeing did not apply to her directly.
On the screen was some kind of display of an article of some sort. The headline read: Brutal Beating in Canterlot.
The first story was about a young girl who had been attacked by a gang of thugs shortly after returning from a vacation she’d been having with a friend overseas. The odd thing was, the thugs had been the ones to bring her to the hospital, claiming they had no idea why they’d beaten the girl as badly as they had. All they could say is they remembered a trio of teenagers singing some kind of humming song, before finding themselves standing around the bruised and beaten girl.
The girl’s name, however, was Blessed Moon and the article mentioned her mother being a woman named Luna.
The human Blessed Moon had been rushed into surgery, however was still in bad condition. Her ribs had been broken, as well as her arms and legs and she’d suffered severe concussions.
It was my fault. Turning around, Luna saw the pony Screwball sitting not far away, staring at her human self, her eyes filled with a sorrow Luna knew only too well. I made them angry, changed their memories to think a girl looking like her did what did to them. I didn’t think she’d have a counterpart here. I... I caused this.
At once the sky darkened and chocolate rain became to pour down around them.
Luna glanced over the edge of the building and panic built inside her. The chocolate milk was rising quickly, flooding the area. It was reach them in no time. Screwball was going to drown in her own misery.
Screwball, she said, coming over and taking her in her wings, it was not your fault. You could not have known.
I should have looked closer! the filly wailed, trying to push Luna away. Luckily, in the Dream Realm, Luna had as much power as both Screwball and Discord, so their own magic could not overpower her here. There was a reason Discord had never tried to mess with dreams. He hated having to fight fair. I should have gone looking after giving you Blessed! I should’ve realized she could’ve had a counterpart! But I didn’t look after my first try and this is what happened! It’s my fault she’s dead!
Luna blinked, confused. As far as she recalled, article had never said the human version of her daughter had died. Calling on her magic, she pulled the screen the human Screwball was looking at over and looked it over carefully.
Finding the cause of why Screwball said what she did, Luna sighed and looked down at the sobbing filly. That world’s Blessed Moon is not dead, Screwball.
She is! the filly wailed, looking up at the Alicorn. The article says that three days after she was admitted, her bed became vacant. I know what that means, Luna. It means she died. She died and it’s all my fault!
Luna sighed again. it would seem, despite everything, even Screwball could overlook simple details. Had you read the entire article, it says that the reason her bed was vacant is because, when her nurse went to check in on her one morning three days after she’d been admitted, the bed was empty, as if Blessed Moon had gotten up and just gone somewhere.
There was silence save the sound of thunder in the clouds and the pouring chocolate rain and the chocolate milk sloshing around as it gathered.
After several moments, the filly looked up at her with bloodshot eyes, filled with the smallest hint of hope under confusion. Wha... what?
Luna gave a wry smile. The article clearly states that Blessed Moon simply vanished. The hospital staff had the whole building and areas around it searched, but found naught a trace of the young girl. She did not die, Screwball. In fact, if I am guessing right, I have a good idea as to what really happened to Blessed Moon.
Hitting the Human World for the First Time... as Far As anypony else (aside from Luna) knows, anyhow *wink*
I sigh, looking out the window as the train pulls into the Crystal Empire.
It’s been a week since my... incident. It took a lot of work, even after Luna helped me out, to get me back to a better state. Of course, Spoiled didn’t help at all in that, but Diamond and Daddy made up for what she didn’t do.
And if you’re wondering why Daddy doesn’t find it odd that the mother of one of his daughters didn’t put any effort into helping their suffering child out of what could probably be considered depression, regardless of how brief it ended up being, she was spending every day at school, apparently doing work that had backloaded on her and was making it impossible to return home to help.
And yeah, if you called bullshit on that, you’re right. I had the changeling who stayed here in Ponyville check in on it for me and found out she’d been spending that time at the spa, relaxing from all the stress my, and I am using her words here, “being a whiny crybaby” was causing her.
But, anyway, after the week ended and I found out Twilight has the Princess Summit at the Crystal Empire, I was wondering if I should tag along, only to end up being invited by Celestia herself.
So, here we are, walking through the Empire to Cadance and Shining Armour’s castle for the summit.
“Um, Screwball?”
I glance to Rarity as I float along in the air, the unicorn having stayed back to speak with me. “Yeah?”
“I do hope this doesn’t seem rude, darling,” Rarity begins, looking uncertain, “but why exactly did Princess Celestia invite you along for the summit. I mean, I can understand us and Spikey, we are the Element Bearers and he’s Twilight son, but why you?”
I roll my eyes. “Hello, Princess of Chaos? Thought that was pretty obvious, Rarity.” It’s not an official title or anything, but Celestia and I have spoken about it and she does agree that I have a right to such a title. I hear the sound of a transformer and see it’s Pinkie uncurling herself and smirk. “Besides, Twilight’s considered a princess, even without her crown.”
“Hmm?” Rarity turns, looks at Twilight, before rushing over, myself smirking as the scene plays out.
A few minutes later, we walk into the castle throne room and Twilight bumps into you know damn well who.
Easy, Screwball. Don’t attack him or do anything punishing to him. He’s not the one who makes Twilight cry in the second movie. That is human Flash. Do not hurt this one. Breathe. Breathe.
Cadance laughs happily after Twilight is announced and comes down from her throne. “Twilight!” She reaches us and I blink as they do their normal greeting of the Sun Shine dance. I don’t remember that happening in the movie. “I haven't seen you since the coronation!”
Well, that was only a little over a week ago. It’s not that long. Cadance makes it sounds like months. I never did get that, watching the movie and it makes even less sense to me now.
Celestia smiles at all of us. “We have so much to discuss. But it can wait until tomorrow. You all look tired from your journey. Now, off to bed, all of you.”
“My guards will show you to your rooms,” Cadance says and the guards all nod, including you know who. But, he isn’t the one guiding Twilight, so I’ll let it slide.
Instead of going to bed, I stay up though. I don’t feel like sleeping, one because I’ve been thinking about what Luna and I discussed about the human Blessed Moon and how I’ll be needing to handle that within the next three days and two, I’m actually really excited. I’m going to be able to go to the Equestria Girls world without it being questioned. I’ll even be able to go to Canterlot High now. You have no idea how hard it was to resist going in my Nyx disguise before the whole Blessed Moon indecent.
“Stop! Thief! She's stolen my crown!”
Whelp, sounds like Sunset Shimmer’s made her appearance.
I teleport into the room with the mirror just in time to see Twilight’s crown disappear through the reflective surface.
“What did you do with my crown?” Twilight demands of the yellow unicorn.
Sunset Shimmer sneers at Twilight. “Sorry it had to be this way... Princess.”
She teleports to the mirror, then goes through.
“Who was that?” Fluttershy asks, looking around at all of us.
I frown. Why the heck is she asking us? I mean, when watching the movie it makes it sense for the transition, but right now, since none of them know I know, it just doesn’t make sense that she’d ask us about this.
Suddenly, that sound of galloping hoofsteps comes from outside and we all turn to see several guards, including the one Sunset Shimmer got past, hurrying into the room.
“Your Highness,” one of the guards says, looking around in both stern worry and confusion, “what happened? We heard shouting.”
“Well, you lot sure took your sweet time,” I find myself saying without thinking.
“Ya,” Dash backs me, glaring at them. “What kind of guards allow a unicorn to sneak into the castle and steal one of their princesses’ crowns?”
“Uh...” all four glance at each other, clearly not sure how to respond to that.
I facehoof. “Look, just go get Celestia, Luna and Cadance.” I’m about to also mention Shining Armour, as it is kind of weird that he didn’t make an appearance despite it being a Princess Summit, ya know, since he lives in the castle too, but then again, he likely is going to chew these guards out for letting Sunset Shimmer get away with Twilight’s crown, which would explain why he didn’t show up when Celestia was explaining about Sunset to the others.
The guards look like they’re about to protest, likely because they were being ordered by me, Discord’s sort of progeny, but a fireball suddenly hovering above my forehoof makes them change their minds and they hurry off to get the three Alicorns.
“So, just who was that pony anyway?” Rainbow Dash asks after Twilight and the others finish recounting the events of what happened to the three older Alicorns.
Princess Celestia sighs. “Sunset Shimmer. A former student of mine. She began her studies with me not long before Twilight. But when she did not get what she wanted as quickly as she liked, she turned cruel and dishonest.” She gets up from next to Cadance’s throne and walks towards us. “I tried to help her, but she eventually decided to abandon her studies and pursue her own path. One that has sadly led to her stealing your crown."
Well, technically, you dismissed her as your student, but whatever.
“She replaced Twilight's with this one,” Spike says, showing the fake crown.
Celestia studies it for a brief moment. “I suppose Sunset Shimmer thought you wouldn't notice right away that this was not yours. And by the time you did, it would be too late to go after your crown and Element of Harmony.”
Twilight looks uncertain. “But I don't understand. Where did she go? Why did she take the crown?
Celestia walks past, indicating for us all to follow. “You'll soon know more about this place than even I do.”
We head back to the room with the mirror and Luna walks up to it. “This is no ordinary mirror. It is a gateway to another world. A gateway that opens once every thirty moons.”
Pinkie Pie puts her hoof the tiniest bit into the portal. “Sparkly!”
Luna rolls her eyes and continues to explain as Pinkie seems to just slide along the floor until she’s standing next to Applejack. “It has always been kept in the throne room of Canterlot Castle. But when Princess Cadance took over the Crystal Empire, we sent it here for her to watch over.”
Celestia sighs. “I had always hoped that Sunset Shimmer would someday use it to return, to come back to Equestria seeking my guidance. Obviously, this is not what has happened.”
Gee, ya think? I can’t help rolling my eyes. Thank you, Princess Obvious.
I sit back in the air, watching the scene play out like in the movie. As Twilight’s about to enter the portal, however, I notice Spike isn’t showing the signs from the movie that he’ll just run forward after her. Looks like I need to coax him a little.
Floating down next to the drake, I nudge him. “You know, Celestia said the girls couldn’t go. She never said anything about you, Spike.”
He looks to me, uncertainly. “Yeah, but, she doesn’t need me, right?”
I inwardly frown. Jeez, seems this guy needs the ego boast being the hero of the Crystal Empire gives him after all. Talk about having a self-esteem problem.
I inwardly sigh. Looks like I’ll have to be a bit manipulative as well, dang it.
“But, Twilight’s entering a whole other world. We don’t know what could be in there. Snakes, evil demons...” I see the nervousness appear in his eyes, “and she’ll be all alone over there. No friends, no family, nopony who even knows her. I mean, for or all we know, she could be in danger the moment she passes through the other side of the—”
And that does it. Spike panics and runs past everypony, despite their shouts and disappears through the portal.
A quick teleport and I appear in front of it. “Don’t worry,” I smirk. “I’ll keep an eye on ’em.” And before any of them can protest, I pass through the portal myself. It definitely feels different than when I just teleport between the dimensions. I feel my body being twisted and stretched as I’m changed to match the other world.
As I tumble out of the portal, I land on my feet and stand up straight, stretching. Looking myself over, I’m wearing my usual choice of attire for this world when I’m being me. Good. No need to change anything then.
A groan causes me to look down to my left to see Twilight kneeling, with Spike as the little puppy he turns into here standing in front of her.
“Uh, Twilight?” he says uncertainly.
“Huh? Spike!” she says, cocking an eyebrow. “You're not supposed to— Spike? Are you a... dog?”
Spike turns around in a circle, before looking to her. I... think so. But I have no idea what you are!
“Huh?” Twilight looks down at her new hands and screams.
Spike scratches behind his ear with a rear paw as Twilight continues to study her new body, I finding myself snickering a few times.
Spike sighs. “Twilight, you have to get it together!”
Twilight does some heavy breathing, before putting her hands on the ground, curled into fists, then sighs. “What... does the rest of me look like?”
Spike frowns in confusion. “Um, like you. Only not you. Your muzzle's really small.”
Twilight’s eyes widen. “My muzzle?!” She puts a hand to her nose and looks like she’s about to scream again.
She’s stopped by Spike putting his paws over her mouth. “Are you gonna scream again?” Twilight shakes her head
“Relax, Twi,” I say, putting my hands behind my head, causing the other two to realize I’m here for the first time, “you’ve just turned into a human. Nothing to lose your hair over.”
Twilight frowns. “Human?”
I nod, before glancing around, smirking.
They look around too, Spike asking, “Where are we?
Twilight gets up and moves back to the mirror “I don't know. But that must serve as the gateway back to Equestria,” she says as she passes her arm through the mirror, seeing a reflection of her hoof through it, before pulling her arm back out and shaking her head. “We need to find my crown as soon as possible and get back there.” Turning she looks up at Canterlot High. “I suggest we start searching the castle first.”
Now, I could be the nice girl and tell her it’s actually a high school... but, come on. Princess of Chaos? I’ve gotta still have some fun, right?
Spike shrugs, before hopping up onto Twilight’s back. “Works for me.”
Twilight starts the most awkward gallop I’ve seen yet, whilst I just walk at a normal pace, easily keeping up with her, especially when she stops at the sight of that dude with his dog.
“Yeah, I don't think that's how the new you is supposed to—” Spike begins, only to be cut off as Twilight quickly hops up and waves sheepishly to the guy.
Once he leaves, I have to resist bursting into laughter as I watch Twilight struggle to keep her balance on two legs, before she reaches the stairs and grabs the railing.
“C'mon, Spike, Screwball. I do not wanna be like this for longer than I have to.”
Spike and I follow her up, Spike bounding up the stairs. “Well, look on the bright side. You don't have those pesky wings to worry about anymore.”
Twilight frowns at him, then stands up straight and walks right into the door. She frowns, grunts, then her eyes widen. “My magic! It isn't working!”
“Makes sense,” she looks down at Spike. “You don't exactly have your horn.”
“What?!” the purple girl cries, grabbing her hair and pulling it back, trying to see her horn.
Spike taps the door open. “We really need to find you a mirror.”
We walk in, Twilight and Spike glancing around in uncertainty, whilst I’m honestly squeeing as quietly as I can.
Twilight walks over to the cabinet with the school prizes and trophies. “What do ya think, guys? Other artifacts she's stolen from Equestria?” she finally notices her reflection in the glance and gasps. “What am I?”
Suddenly the school bell rings and all the students start moving out of their classes.
“Huh? Oof!” Twilight says, then grunts as she’s smacked in the face by human Diamond Tiara’s cell phone as she and Silver Spoon walk past.
I smirk. “And that’s my cue. Catch ya later, Twilight.”
“Wait, what—?” Twilight cries, but I’m already gone. I’ve been waiting too long to speak with this world’s Diamond Tiara and I am not missing my chance to do so now. Plus, with my absence, you can guaranty things will play out as they should, leading to Twilight encountering human Fluttershy and Sunset Shimmer and that play out right.
I’ll meet up with her again after lunch.
I follow Diamond and Silver, keeping my distance until they’ve stopped at Tiara’s locker. I quickly snap my fingers, thankfully, it seems being turned human by the portal doesn’t cut off my Chaos Magic like it does Twilight and Sunset’s magic and I turn invisible as Twilight walks past, looking around in confused fascination.
Once she and Spike are gone, I make myself visible again and walk up beside them. For several minutes I just lean against the locker, listening to Diamond and Silver talk.
Finally, after what feels like forever, Diamond takes notice that I haven’t moved. “Um, can we help... you?” her frown of annoyance turns to confusion as Silver turns to look at me too. “Do I... know you?”
I smirk. “Kinda. How’s your sister’s recovery going?” Tiara’s eyes widen in shock and I snicker. “Come on, why is it so surprising I’d ask that, Dia? Your family’s been all over the news since daddy dearest was exposed and arrested.”
Now her glare returns. “Are you making fun of what my father did to my family?”
I snort. “Hardly. I was the one who ratted out that bastard in the first place.”
They both glance at each other, before giving me a skeptical look. “So, you hacked into Filthy Rich’s accounts to show the police and get him searched?” Silver asks, her tone saying she clearly did not believe me and was not amused.
I nod. “How else could Dr. Discord have gotten those files he’d been hiding about Lilac? Getting them was easy with my magic.”
Their unamusement sky rockets. “Is this some game to you?” Diamond snarls. “Magic? Seriously?”
I grin, snapping my fingers and take on my Nyx, or rather, Blessed Moon appearance.
The two blink, confused.
I snap my fingers again, returning to normal. “Need more proof?” Diamond’s phone starts ringing. She looks to the caller ID, frowns, then answers it.
“Hello?”
“Yeah, how’s it?” I ask, my voice echoing out of her phone.
They both look to me, only to see my holding my hand to my ear with my fingers in a position of pretending to have a phone to my ear.
They look from me, to Diamond’s phone, to each other, then me again, before both asking, “Who are you?”
“Kinda easy and hard to explain that one, sis,” I grin, closing my eyes.
There’s silence for several moments. “Lilac?!”
I open my eyes again, with a shit eating grin even bigger. “Half right, Dia. Wanna get the full story?”
They both nod slowly, their expressions dumbstruck.
“I... wow,” Diamond says as we sit at the table in the cafeteria. “That’s just... wow.”
I nod, taking a bite out of the hamburger I got for lunch. “I know, right?” I say through it.
“So, you’re magic works, even here in our world?” Silver Spoon asks.
I swallow and nod, before doing a Big Mac impression. “Eeyup.”
Both girls actually look towards the table where the blonde haired Apple is sitting with the human CMC, before looking back to see me grinning.
“So, if you’re here to get the crown back, why don’t you just use your magic?” Diamond asks, cocking an eyebrow at me.
I shrug, returning to my voice. “Don’t tell anyone else, but even being’s of chaos have rules they need to follow. And I need to let certain events play out, or else something could go really wrong later on. For the most part, I’m free to do as I wish, but there are key events I’m not allowed to stop and that must happen.”
“Like what?” Silver asks, taking a bite of her salad.
I look to Diamond. “Like making sure Twilight wins Princess of the Fall Formal, not Sunset Shimmer.”
Both girls react as you’d expect to that. Silver Spoon half chokes on her food and Diamond, who was drinking a glass of juice at the time, does a spit take.
“She’s going up against Sunset Shimmer?!” Diamond asks as I pat Silver on the back. “Is she out of her mind? Doesn’t she know what happened to the girl who went up against her in the Spring Fling?”
I shrug. “She doesn’t care. She needs to win that crown. If we don’t get it back, Equestria’s pretty much screwed.” And I’m not even talking about Tirek here. Without the Elements, Equestria’s screwed when Discord’s Plunder Plants grow.
Diamond gets a nervous look, before glancing around.
“Trust me, my dimensional sister,” I say assuredly. “Help us out, and I promise Sunset won’t get back at you for it. If she even tries, she’ll have to deal with me. That’s something I can easily do.” I wink at Silver. “Same to you, Silver. She won’t be able to harm either of you.”
They both look uncertainly at me, then each other, before slowly nodding.
“Okay,” Diamond sighs. “We’ll do what we can.”
I grin appreciatively. “Thanks, sis. Trust me, we’ll need the help. Twi’s hopeless as a human.”
We all turn at that moment to see Twilight take an apple in her mouth, not realizing that, as a human, she can’t eat like as a pony.
“You’re right,” Silver says flatly. “She is hopeless.”
“Hey, Twi,” I say as I meet up with Twilight after she’s signed up for the Princess of the Fall Formal.
“And where have you been this whole time?” she demands, looking at me irritably.
I shrug. “I went to talk with Diamond. Did you know this world’s version of her sister is in hospital too?” I ask, fanning ignorance and surprise. “She’s not as up with things as me, but then, she didn’t have Discord pour Chaos Magic into her brain, so I guess it works, right?”
“Um, sure?” Twilight asks, glancing at Spike.
“And don’t worry, I’ve signed us in as official students of Canterlot High,” I sigh, snapping my fingers to show our enrolment papers. Gonna be quite amusing once Sci-Twi is attending. They’ll have to distinguish them by Twilight’s Princess title alone.
“Um, why?” Spike asks, confused.
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, because two new students turning up, one of whom wins a social event, yet don’t appear in the school record system won’t raise any eyebrows.”
I let that sink in, before both human and dog go, “Oh.”
“Now that’s settled, let’s move on to our lockers,” I say, pointing a head and marching down the hall, chuckling at the groan and facepalming I hear my antics cause.
We walk down the hallway until we find two lockers near a broken light, one hanging open, the other not. Though, why Twilight even goes to the locker in the movie I never understood, even now. she’s not putting her bag away, so why, other than the confrontation with—
“Can't believe I didn't recognize you earlier.”
Speak of the soon to be a raging she-demon and she will appear.
Sunset walks over to us, smugness practically oozing off of her. “Shoulda known Princess Celestia would send her prized pupil here after my crown, and her little dog, too.”
“It's my crown!” Twilight states, pointing to herself.
Sunset Shimmer shrugs. “Whatever. This is just a minor setback for me. You don't know the first thing about this place, and I already rule it.”
Twilight glares. “If that's so, why do you even need my crown? You went to an awful lot of trouble to switch it with the one that belongs here.”
Sunset turns around, smirking. “Pop quiz: what happens when you bring an Element of Harmony into an alternate world?” Twilight looks away and Sunset scoffs. “You don't know? Seriously?” “And you're supposed to be Princess Celestia's star student? Then again, what were the chances she'd find somepony as bright as me to take under her wing after I decided to leave Equestria? Bit embarrassing that you were the best she could do.”
“At least she actually understood Celestia’s lessons,” I smirk, causing Sunset to take notice of me for the first time, her eyebrow rising in slight confusion. “After all, last I checked, Twilight’s the Alicorn Princess and you’re the dropout that Celestia tossed out.”
Sunset’s eyes widen and she snarls. “And just who’re you?”
I snicker. “Somepony who clearly knows more than you, Sunset. Then again, anypony could know more than you. Even the pony Snips and Snails are better than you. By the way, how did you recognize Twilight’s shitty handwriting? Past experience? Did you do a report on that book before you figured handwriting out yourself?”
Oh ho ho, the anger in her expression. I know she’s gonna go good by the end of this, but this is too priceless.
Just when it looks like Sunset’s gonna burst, she calms down. “Whatever. So another pony followed you and you lucked into being a princess. You still won’t get the crown back.”
To this, Spike growls.
Sunset’s smirk widens a bit. “Oh, and I'd keep an eye on your mutt. Hate for him to be... taken away from you.”
Spike shakes his paw like a fist. “Is that a threat?”
“Oh, of course not,” Sunset says, lifting his chin with a finger.
Spike snaps at her, before barking.
Sunset easily avoids being bitten. “But I'd cut down on the chatter if I were you. Don't want everyone to know you don't belong here, now would you?” she turns and starts to walk away. “You wanna be a princess here? Please. You don't know the first thing about fitting in.”
“Sunset Shimmer is right,” Twilight says as we walk down the hall after the whole vending machine scene. “I don't know the first thing about this place. If I'm gonna really fit in and win votes, we need to do some research.”
Spike cocks an eyebrow. “Research?”
Twilight nods. “This place has a school. I have to believe it's got a...” we stop in front of a room filled with computers and books, “library!”
I know Snip and Snails have followed us. This is one thing I wish I could stop, but it’s why the rest of the Human 5 minus Rainbow Dash meet up with Twilight together.
I can’t help back groan when Twilight starts thumping her fist on the keys, nor when she picks up a book with her mouth, shaking my hand, currently holding a book, to get her to stop, nor when she doesn’t use the photo copier properly and nearly blinds herself.
After what feels like forever of Twilight, Spike and I doing research, myself namely just interested in this world’s Canterlot’s history, a voice on P.A. system speaks up. “The library will be closing in five minutes.”
Twilight yawns, before gasping. “I hadn't even thought about where we're gonna sleep tonight!”
Spike looks up from the book he was reading, then to me and we wink. “Way ahead of you.”
We follow Spike up to a higher area and I snap my fingers, making two, five star class hotel beds appear in the space between the two bookshelfs either side of us.
“It’s a bit dusty, but it doesn’t seem anyone comes up here that often,” he grins.
“Plus, I can just poof it all away when we wake up tomorrow,” I grin, leaping into the air and plopping down on my bed.
Twilight smiles before moving over to her bed. “It's perfect, guys. Thanks and... wait.” She turns to me, her eyes wide and accusing. “I just realized. You can use your magic here?”
I stretch my upper body forward like a snake and tap Twilight on the head. “Hello-oh. Being of Chaos, Twilight. Does it really surprise you that I still go against the logic of even this world?”
Twilight holds up a finger, clearly about to answer, then frowns and shakes her head. “Never mind. And I’m assuming you’ve your reasons for not just teleporting my crown back to me now?”
I nod.
She rolls her eyes. “Fine.”
“So, how did your research go?” Spike asks, clearly trying to steer away from this topic fast.
Twilight smiles and show him a book. “I found this book. It's called a yearbook. It seems to be something they use to keep a record of things that have happened at the school.”
I roll my eyes. “You mean, like back in Equestria. Jeez, Twi, it’s not that different from home.”
Twilight blinks, before blushing. “A-anyway, look.” I hover over and look above to look over her shoulder as she points to a photo of the human versions of the Element Bearers during their freshmen year.“That's Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, and I'm gonna bet the girl on the far right is Rarity.”
Spike grabs the book, his tail wagging. “There's a Rarity here!? Uh, I mean, uh...” he stutters as we both give him sly smiles, “interesting photo.”
Twilight takes the book back. “It's interesting because they look like they're friends.”
Spike cocks his head. “They do look like our friends. But I thought we'd figured that out already.”
Twilight and I shake our heads. “No, I mean... they look like they're friends with each other. But it doesn't seem like they're friends now.”
Spike looks away. “Not so much.”
Twilight flops back in her bed and I do mine, despite having flopped whilst above her bed. You wanna question that? “I just can't help but get the feeling that Sunset Shimmer had something to do with it.”
Spike grumbles as he settles down next to Twilight. “I wouldn't put it past her. But she wanted your crown 'cause she's planning on doing something even worse! If you're gonna stop her, you have to focus on making friends here. Can't worry about why these girls aren't friends anymore. Even if they,” he yawns, “do remind you of your Ponyville friends.”
Twilight smiles and scratches behind his ear. “You're right, Spike.” She sighs, looking up at the sky through the glass roof. “Eye on the prize. Goodnight, Spike. Goodnight, Screwball.”
I yawn, stretching out under my beds warm covers. “Night, you two. See ya in the mornin’.”
We’re already awake the next morning when Principal Celestia’s voice comes over the P.A. system. “Good morning, students, and happy Thursday. Just a reminder to pick up your ballots for the Princess of the Fall Formal today. They are due at the time the dance starts tomorrow night, so don't forget to turn them in and make your voice heard.”
“Fluttershy said I'd need to win over all those different groups if I wanna become Princess of the Fall Formal,” Twilight says as we walk down from our sleeping area, now absent of our beds. “So I've compiled a list of talking points.”
Spike laughs. “You made a list? That's so unlike you!” when Twilight gives him a frown, holds open her backpack and points into it, he laughs again, though nervously this time. “Uh... Please... Continue,” he says, hopping inside.
Twilight smiles. “I'll start introducing myself, sprinkle in some things I learned about their world into the conversation—”
“Which, thankfully, I discussed with her so she doesn’t say something stupid like,” I change my voice to Twilight’s and stop in front of said girl, “Hi, I’m Twilight Sparkle. Cars drive on the road and I’d like to be princess of the Fall Formal.”
Spike snickers, though Twilight just groans, before continuing on like I hadn’t said anything. “Show them how I fit in here!” she stops in front of the doors and sighs. “Okay, Spike, Screwball. Time to make a good first impression on my fellow students. The whole world sorta depends on it.”
We walk out and the students we pass snicker.
Twilight glances around, before looking to me and Spike. “Why is everybody looking at me funny? Whoa!” she cries as we’re suddenly yanked into one of the classrooms. “What're you...? Why did you...? Rarity?”
Said girl hurries over, measures both of us, before reaching into her bag and somehow slipping on two new outfits on us. Twilight’s is the green one you see in the movie, along with the blonde wing.
Mine, however, takes me way off-guard. I’m practically dressed like Blessed Moon, only I’ve still my skin colour and eyes.
“Perfect!” the alabaster girl says, looking us over. “Oh, yes. This is good! No one will recognize you!”
Twilight frowns in confusion. “Why wouldn't I wanna be—?”
And the scene plays out as you’d expect. Applejack, Pinkie and Fluttershy all come in, show the video to Twi, then we all head off to deal with the AJ/RD situation. Of course, the soccer match between Twi and Dash plays out as you’d expect, but I then challenge Dash myself and give her a run for her money, and barely using my Chaos Magic to win at all.
Later that day, we perform (yes, I said we, who do you think AJ was pointing to when she didn’t appear on screen in the movie) the Cafeteria Song and get everyone siked and together in school spirit.
The next day when we arrive, everyone is acting as they do at the beginning of Rainbow Rocks, accepting of each other and not letting their clicks get in the way of things.
I pull away from the group and follow Sunset, before hurrying ahead and seeing Flash isn’t heading in the right direction to see the ruined gym. A little nudge with my magic and he found himself walking past the gym just in time to think something is up.
Why am I helping Flash? Well, we need that damned scene where Twi hugs him in Luna’s office and he gets depressed when he thinks Twilight shuts him down. I did it for that latter reason.
When Twilight comes racing into Rarity's boutique and runs into one of the changing rooms, I give a sheepish smile to the girls and hurry in after her. A little over a minute later and Spike and I have convinced to her tell the others the truth. When she opens the curtains, it shows all the girls have gathered in front, looks of concern on each of their faces.
“You okay?” Applejack asks.
“The Fall Formal isn't happening tonight,” Twilight says.
“WHAT!?” Pinkie Pie screams.
I nod and lean against the wall, looking at them sideways. “It had to be postponed because Sunset Shimmer had Snips and Snails ruin all of Pinkie Pie's decorations.”
If not for knowing how this goes, the expression Pinkie gets for her second “WHAT?!?” would really make me fear for our safety. Oh, who am I kidding? When Pinkie’s involved in either world, I should fear for our safety.
“But the Fall Formal has to happen tonight,” Twilight insists.
“Wha—!” Pinkie begins, only for Applejack to cover her mouth, halting her third, though less explainable outburst and the girls look to us, waiting for the explanation as to why Twilight said what she said.
Twilight sighs, holding and arm. “You see...”
Pinkie Pie pulls Applejack’s hand off of her mouth, “You’re from an alternate world and you're a pony princess there and the crown actually has a magical element embedded in it that helps power up other magical elements, and without it they don't work anymore, and you need them all to help protect your magical world, and if you don't get the crown tonight, you'll be stuck in this world and you won't be able to get back for, like, a really, really long time!” she finishes with a squee.
While Twilight and Spike stare at her open mouthed, I just smirk.
Rainbow Dash gives Pinkie a look that says, this clearly is Pinkie just being Pinkie. “Yeah, I'm pretty sure that isn't the reason.”
Spike shakes his head, a deadpan stare on his face “Nope, she's pretty much spot-on.”
“He can talk!?” Rarity cries.
Spike nods and walks forward. “Oh, yeah! And back where I come from, I'm not even a dog! I'm a ferocious, fire-breathing dragon!”
I snort. “Fire-breathing, yeah, but ferocious? Get real, Spike.”
Fluttershy doesn’t give him a chance to snap back, jumping in front of him. “This is so amazing! Tell me, what are you thinking right now?”
Spike looks from her to Rarity and walks over to the alabaster human. “Sure would love a scratch behind the old ears!”
“Gah...” Rarity says, just staring down.
“Uh, maybe later,” Spike scratching his head sheepishly.
Yeah, like when her brain’s had a chance to reboot after logic just spat in her face.
Twilight turns to Pinkie. “How did you know all that?”
Pinkie shrugs “Just a hunch.”
“Wait a minute!” Applejack says, holding up her hands. “Lemme get this straight. You're a pony?”
“You're a princess?” Rarity says, still not having recovered.
“You're from another world?” Fluttershy asks.
Twilight gulps. “Mm-hmm.”
“And in case you girls don’t believe that, which I wouldn’t blame you, even with the talking dog,” I smirk, snapping my fingers. Suddenly, they’re all wearing the outfits from in the cafeteria. Another snap and they’re back to their previous attire. “Any other questions?”
“That... is... awesome!” Dash cries and they all come over, asking pretty much any question you can think of in regards to Equestria.
We then head back to the school and see the mess Snips and Snails made and... jeez, they went overboard. If you’ve seen the movie, trust me, it doesn’t even do the damage justice.
But we all pull up our sleeves and get to work cleaning up, eventually bringing in everyone else to help clean up and break down even more social barriers. If you remember how those two jocks’ jaws drops when they saw AJ carrying that board all on her own, their jaws pretty much fell off (not literally) when they saw me do the same, only I was carrying the one I was over my head.
Later, when everyone is getting dressed for the party, Rarity shows me what she’s picked out for me. it’s lovely pinkish-purple button-up dress, a yellow ribbon with green polka dots tied around my waist, one thigh-high sock with black and pink stripes, whilst the other is pink with purple stripes, a small pink boots on my left foot and black leather boot on the right. I find it odd she chose a look I like, but tells me that, having met me, she felt it was fitting. I finish off the outfit with a pendant shaped like my Cutie Mark.
We all go to the dance, myself joining Diamond and Silver on the dance floor. I have to stop myself from facepalming when I see Scootaloo doing the chicken dance though. Wow, the pandering still happens, even when I’m experiencing it.
When Twilight’s given the crown, I glance around, ready for when we’ll have to run. “Twilight! Help!” There it is.
“They've got Spike!” Twilight cries, leaping off the stage and running after Snips and Snails, the rest of us right behind her.
When we get outside, we’re stopped. “That's close enough!” Sunset says, holding a sledgehammer up, her posture clearly meaning she means to smash the portal with it.
“Twilight!” Spike cries from in the two dolts’ grasp.
Twilight growls. “Don't hurt him!”
Sunset Shimmer smirks. “Oh, I wouldn't dream of it. I'm not a monster, Twilight.” She looks to Snips and Snails. “Let him go.”
Spike leaps from their grasp and hurries over to Twilight, who takes him in her arms.
“You don't belong here,” Sunset says in a mocking pitying voice. “Give me the crown, and you can go back to Equestria tonight. Or keep it and never go home.”
I just fold my arms. “Wow. You really don’t think much of Twilight’s intellect, do you?”
“Huh?” everyone asks, even Sunset and her lackeys.
I keep my arms folded, but point a finger to indicate to Sunset. “Well, think about it. Twilight, Sunset, Spike and I all came through that portal.”
“So?” Dash asks, looking confused.
“She’s threatening to destroy the magical portal,” I say, nodding to Sunset, “with a hammer. By hitting the spot where the four of us came out from Equestria to this world, while the portal is still open. And she expects us to fear her destroying it by smashing the hammer in that exact spot.”
I wait as time slowly ticks by, before Twilight, Spike and the girls go, “Oh!”
Then Twilight frowns, looking to Sunset Shimmer. “Seriously? That was your big plan? I managed to do what you couldn’t, by turning into an Alicorn and you think I’m that stupid I’d fall for it? Wow. You do think little of everyone else.”
Sunset growls, before blinking and smirks, moving to stand in front of the portal. “Well, I can still keep you from returning to Equestria until the portal closes, then you’ll be stuck here!”
Okay. Really should’ve seen that one coming.
“Tick tock, Twilight,” Sunset sneers. “We haven't got all night. The portal will be closing on its own in less than an hour. So, what's your answer?”
I lean closer to Twilight. “I can just teleport her somewhere and we can make a run for the portal if you like?” Gotta give her the option.
Twilight takes off her crown, looks from it to the other, then shakes her head lightly at me, before looking sternly at Sunset. “No.”
Sunset’s eyes widen. “What!? Equestria! Your friends! Lost to you forever! Don't you want to go back?!”
“Yes, but I've also seen what you've been able to do here without magic. And the portal will still open in another thirty moons. Equestria will find a way to survive without my Element of Harmony until I return.” No, it’d be up shit creak, but I won’t ruin her moment with that knowledge. “This place might not if I allow it to fall into your hands.” She stands up. “So go ahead. Stop me from going through. I’ll find a way back in thirty moons, because you are not getting this crown!” she finishes her speech by putting her crown back on her head.
Okay, now for my own bit of fun, now that I’ve pointed out how dumb Sunset’s plan was.
“Actually, Sunset,” I smirk, looking to the fuming girl, “since I’m a being of chaos, how about we make a deal?”
“Huh?” everyone says, turning to me.
I nod. “Let us through,” I snap my fingers, Twilight’s crown vanishing from her head and reappearing in my hand, where I twirl it around, “and I’ll give you the crown.”
“WHAT?!” Twilight, Spike and the girls cry, their eyes wide with disbelief.
Sunset blinks, then smirks. “Deal.”
Another snap of my fingers and the crown is in Sunset’s hands, causing her to drop the hammer.
“NO!” the girls and Spike cry.
“At last!” Sunset grins, lifting the crown to her head. “More power than I could ever imagine!” she places it on her head... and nothing happens. “What?” she says, glancing up, only to see the Element of Magic is missing from the crown.
I snicker, causing everyone to turn to me. I’m grinning like an idiot, twirling the Element of Magic on my finger like a basketball. “I told her she could have the crown. I never said anything about the Element of Magic embedded within it.”
The girls and Spike all look to me, before they burst out laughing.
“Wow,” Dash laughs, holding her sides. “For a moment there, I really thought you were just giving it to her.”
I just smirk. “Yeah right. Like I’d ever do that. This belongs to the real one who deserves to be a princess. ”
“Oh, yes, she's so very special!” Sunset snarls, before smirking. Suddenly, I’m tackled from behind and the Element of Magic flies from my hand as I thud to the ground, winded.
And, of course, things play out as you’d expect. A big game of keep away, resulting in Sunset getting the Element and placing it in the crown. “Now, I have the power that’s rightfully mine!” she says, before placing it on her head.
This leads to the creepy dark light show, finishing in Sunset being in her demon form.
I smack my fist on the ground. “Come on. Really? It’s that fixed a thing?”
Demon Sunset gives and evil laugh, before turning Snips and Snails into demons too. Well, this is just great.
Sunset flies over to the school, causing any students who’d braved coming out to hurry back inside and close the door behind them. “I've had to jump through so many hoops tonight just to get my hands on this crown, and it really should have been mine all along,” Sunset growl, before smiling. “But let's let bygones be bygones. I am your princess now, and you will be loyal... to me!”
Sunset goes inside and I know she’s turned all the students and faculty into her zombies.
She comes back out through the hole she made to see us all standing in her way. She sneers. “Spoiler alert: I was bluffing when I said I was going to destroy the portal. I don't want to rule this pathetic little high school; I want Equestria! And with my own little teenage army behind me, I am going to get it!”
“No, you're not!” Twilight declares.
Sunset rolls her eyes. “Oh, please! What exactly do you think you're going to do to stop me? I have magic, and you have nothing!”
Rainbow Dash and the others step forward. “She has us!”
“And last I checked,” I say, floating up into the air, “I’ve still got my Chaos Magic, which trumps yours any day, Sunset.”
She sneers. “Oh, really? Let’s put that to the test, shall we?”
She quickly shoots a torrent of fire at me from her hands, which I block with barely even any effort, holding up a single hand. I yawn, holding my other hand to my mouth. “When am I supposed to be impressed?”
“You-hoo!”
I turn, only to just barely avoid a head-on with Snips, but in doing so, lose my focus. Too late I realize this was Sunset’s plan, as she quickly amps up the power of her attack before I can recover, the blast hitting me, sending me flying right back through the portal.
Ow. Man, that’s one painful headache. Feels like I smashed my head against solid crystal.
Slowly opening my eyes, I look around to see the pony versions of the Mane 6 minus Twilight, Celestia, Luna and Cadance.
I blink, before glancing down at myself and confirming that, yeah, I’m a pony again. Sitting up, I glance behind me and see a large dent in the crystal wall. Guess I really did smash my head against solid crystal. That explains the headache.
“Screwball, what happened?” Cadance asks anxiously. “We’ve been waiting almost three days and, suddenly, you come flying out of the portal backwards and smash your head into the wall.”
“Trust me, that wasn’t exactly the plan,” I says, rubbing my forehead, before my eyes widen. “Dammit! That was a cheap shot!”
Before the others can question what I mean, I run back through the portal, leaping out the other end, reading to fight, only to see Twilight and the others Ponying Up for the first time.
I frown, pouting. “No fair. She got me with a cheap shot.” I blink, however, glancing up to my head and behind me as my ears move to the top of my head, becoming pony ears and my hair grows out longer. I scratch my head as Sunset’s blasted with the power of the Elements. “Um, why am I Ponying Up? I mean, it makes no sense, so then it makes sense, since I’m me, that it would happen, but...”
I shake it off and decide to just roll with it. I do have to change my clothes again though. You ever notice how, at the end of the first movie, Twilight goes through the portal wearing her dress, but then, in Rainbow Rocks, when she comes back out of the portal, she’s wearing her previous attire?
Well, same thing for me, apparently. It seems the portal works only a weird, usual wear format only. I really am going to have stern words with Starswirl about that when I meet him.
Twilight gives Sunset the friendship speech and we all go back to the dance, myself just having the time of my life, now that I don’t have to hide my magic.
After the dance is over, we say our goodbyes to the girls and head for the portal.
“That crown really does suit you, Princess Twilight,” Spike says as we walk.
Twilight smiles at him. “You know what, Spike? I am starting to feel a little more comfortable wearing it.”
“And the wings?”
I've been walking on two legs and picking things up with these!” she holds up her hands. “Wings? I'm thrilled that's all I'll be dealing with back in Equestria!”
As they pass through the portal, I snap my fingers. Time to make things right.
Vice Principal Luna stood, watching Sunset Shimmer and Snips and Snails get ready to start work they would be helping with in repairing the damage to the school. She also glanced towards Princess Twilight Sparkle and the five of their students she’d become friends with, along with the girl, Screwball, who had accompanied the princess.
“Vice Principal Luna?” Luna whirled around, to see Screwball standing behind her. She looked back and could still see Screwball with the other girls. She looked back to the one behind her, who gave a small smirk.
“I’ve Chaos Magic, remember? Nothing makes sense with me. Now, come on. they’re someone you need to see.”
Before Luna could ask what was going on, Screwball took her hand and the world went white for a moment. When the light faded, they were standing in a hospital patient room.
Luna blinked and would have questioned the sudden change in location, but what she saw took her breath away and caused her to gasp, her hand flying to her mouth.
Blessed Moon. Her dear Blessed Moon was in the bed and she looked better than when she’d disappeared.
Luna turned to Screwball, unable to form any words.
The girl with pony ears, which were currently splayed downward, looked away. “It was my own reckless actions that led to Blessed Moon being hurt. After the Luna in my world consoled me, she guessed what had happened when your Blessed Moon disappeared. So, right before walking through the portal, I went back in time, took Blessed Moon from her hospital bed and brought her to now, whilst also healing as much of her injuries as best I can without the hospital staff getting too suspicious.” She looked back up, giving a small smile. “Good luck, Luna. And don’t worry. She will never have to fear something like that happening again.”
A groan from the bed distracted Luna and she turned to see Blessed Moon starting to wake. There was a snapping sound and, turning back, Luna barely caught a glimpse of Screwball as she disappeared with a pop.
Luna shook her head and hurried over to her daughter, pulling her into a hug. She didn’t care if it didn’t make any sense. She had her daughter back, that was all that mattered.
I reappear in front of the portal and pass through, a second before it closes.
As the world returns to ponies, Princess Celestia steps forward. “Sunset Shimmer, is she alright?”
Twilight and I look at each other and smile, before she answers. “I think she's gonna be fine. I left her in good hands.”
Rainbow and Rarity glance at each other, before the cyan mare asks, “What are hands?”
I turn and glare at the fading sequence that tries to appear and shout, “Hold it! I’m not done with that plot hole!”
Everypony and dragon look at me with raised eyebrows.
I point a hoof at Rainbow Dash. “You all live in a world with minotaurs. Fucking minotaurs, and you don’t know what hands are? Really? What do you think they call them, meaty grabbers?”
They all glance at each other, then all eyes are looking at Dash and Rarity, who blush.
I yawn, hopping down from my bed on the ceiling and stretch. After the events of the first movie, Twilight, Spike and I went straight to bed, wanting some rest.
I fully intend to visit that world again soon, but, for now, I know I’ve got the Season 4 premiere coming up. And, if what I remember is right, I’ll be spending a lot of time going around Ponyville picking up Discord’s slack when it comes to keeping ponies safe from the Plunder Vines.
But, I know that won’t happen for at least a few more days, since that’s when the Summer Sun Celebration will be coming up, which gives me a little time for fun before the show’s plot catches up with me.
Maybe I’ll go see how Queen Cheese Legs is doing right now. It has been a while since I last checked in with the Changelings and I wanna know how they’ve been doing.
If all has gone as planned, they all are getting along with the ponies in their new lives and are well-fed.
I reach out, looking for Bugbutt in the Empire... before I cock an eyebrow. I... don’t sense her.
My brow furrows. I told her she and her hive were NOT to leave the Empire. I quickly outstretch my magic, trying to find any Changelings. I do sense a few, maybe three, here in the Empire and the one back in Ponyville who will be at Cranky and Matilda’s wedding, but, other than them... nothing. It’s like the Changelings just stopped existing.
Alright, I need to find out what’s going on around here. There’s a flash and three Changelings are suddenly standing in the middle of my guest room, all blinking in confusion, before wilting under my gaze.
“Where is she?” I demand, hovering in the air before them, my forelegs folded.
“W-we swear, we don’t know, Princess Screwball!” one, a female, by the sound of her voice cries, dropping to the floor, her limbs over her head, cowering.
My anger at once takes a backseat to confusion and curiosity, namely since she had the respect to call me by title. “What do you mean?”
“It’s like Antennae, said, Your Highness,” the one on the right, a male, says, bowing as his body shakes. “J-just two days ago, Chrysalis gathered all the Changelings you brought here to the Empire and said we were leaving since you weren’t around to catch us, because one of the scouts working in the castle saw you go through some mirror portal.”
I blink several times, before I snarl. This sneaky little bitch! She somehow new the portal leads to another world and that we’d be gone for three days and used that time to somehow make it so I couldn't find her again!
Urgh! When I get my hooves on her, I’m going to turn her inside out, literally! With my bare hooves!
I calm down after noticing the three Changelings are shivering more than before. Taking a few deep breaths, I look to the one who first spoke, Antennae. Seriously, what is with Changelings and having names based of insect body parts? Then again, for whatever reason, one living in Ponyville is named Kevin, for crying out loud.
“Where is your hive?”
For some reason, that sends their panic sky-rocketing as they all cry as one, “WE DON’T KNOW!” before crumpling to the floor in sobbing fits.
I just stare at them, not sure what to make of this. “How can you not know where the Changeling Kingdom is?”
They all look up to me with tears streaming down their chitin faces. It’s the third one, who hadn’t spoken on his own yet, that answers. “She took our memories.”
My jaw drops, before I shake my head, scowling. “Just how badly is it?” Knowing Discord and how he has messed with memories in the past, I know Memory Spells can be a tricky business.
The fact Twilight didn’t crack the rest of the Mane 6’s minds when she forced all their memories back at once is still a mystery to me. Though, with the world full of chaos at the time, maybe that helped.
“We... we can barely remember anything about our lives in the hive,” Antennae shudders, curling up into a ball. “We can remember certain things, like how the hive worked and where some things are inside, but where it actually is and so much more are missing.”
I look down, thinking for a moment. “Lemme see if I can help.”
Before any of them can respond, I freeze them in place and delve into their minds. Yikes! It’s a total mess in here. Some memories are still there, like they said, but so much else is just gone. I can’t see any memories showing what the hive looks like or half what you’d expect. The only thing I can really make it is something about a throne, but, beyond that, all the other details about the hive as a fuzzy mess.
And the only memories left near intact are those from the Canterlot Invasion and since I brought them to the Empire, and even those are scrambled really badly.
Damn it, Bugbutt knows how to cover her tracks. Even trying to start sifting through all these could cause any one of these three’s minds to simply snap.
Sighing, I pull out and unfreeze them. they all look to me, their expressions saying they know I can’t help. Man, I hate it when this happens. This isn’t even anything to do with those stupid Chaos Rules Discord and I have to follow.
It’s just not possible to fix these poor Changelings’’ memories.
I look to each of them, giving a firm smile to try cheering them up. “Listen, I know it looks bad, and considering I literally have no idea where Queen Cheese Legs is, it’s probably worse than that, but you three don’t have to worry. It’s clear she left you behind because you enjoy your lives here in the Empire and she decided that would make you useless to her.”
Aw, buck. Open mouth, insert hoof.
“Okay, lemme try that again. She knows you wouldn’t want to hurt the ponies your coming to care for, so she left you behind.” I scowl. “Probably thought I’d go batshit the moment I found out she left and take it out on you.” I grin. “Well, joke’s on her. You all get to live fulfilling, happy live up here in the Empire, whilst she’s stuck having to scavenge for food wherever she is. You’re lives here are worth it, right?”
At once, the three brighten up.
“Oh, yes,” Antennae say eagerly, looking to the Changeling on her left. “Spiracles and I love our job at the day care center!” her eyes go misty. “All those little Crystal Pony foals are so loving, it’s the best job we could ask for.”
“And being a teacher is by no means less rewarding,” the other Changeling says, nodding. “Sure, sometimes the foals don’t like learning about some things, but other stuff makes them so overjoyed I makes my wings buzz... or flutter, since I’m always in disguise,” he adds that last part with a blush.
I smile at each of them. “Good. Then just keep doing your jobs and don’t worry about your former Queen. If I have to, I’ll rope the Mr. Mismatched himself into helping me find her.”
I give a quick look around, before relaxing. Honestly expecting speaking of him would bring him over. Sheesh, now I really get the meaning of the phrase Speak of the Devil.
With that settled, I teleport them all back to wherever they’d been before, reapplying their disguises for them. Two hadn’t been alone at the time and whilst they can easily shrug off their sudden disappearances and reappearances as me or Dissy messing around, them coming back as Changelings wouldn’t be so easy to explain.
I look up with a bored expression to see a fuming Spoiled glaring at me from the kitchen doorway.
I’m sitting at the counter whilst I wait for the chef to get back with the ingredients for the treat he’s making. I told him I could just whip one up with my magic, but he insisted he do it the Earth Pony way. Well, normal Earth Pony way, at least. We’ve two Earth Ponies in Ponvyille you can definitely say aren’t normal.
“Oh, really?” I ask, cocking an eyebrow. “And just what is it this time? You didn’t get something you wanted from the store because they ran out? You failed to actually look where you’re going and tripped?”
Yeah. Spoiled will pretty much try and pin anything she can on me, no matter how petty it may seem. One time she even accused me of the being the reason a foal was crying as its mother passed by Spoiled during a break. Freaking bitch won’t let up.
Spoiled snorts. “My husband may have seen you as innocent before, but even he won’t overlook you making the Everfree attack the town!”
I open my mouth to retort, before what she says catches up to me. zipping to the window I look out and see the Plunder Vines are spilling out from the forest and the sky showing both day and night.
Groaning, I face hoof. There goes the one day I try to have some piece and quiet. Might also explain what’s taking the chef so long to get back.
Popping to where he is, I find him tangled up in the several vines just outside the storage room.
A wave of my hoof and the vines disappear. “Miss Screwball?” he asks as I help him up.
“Discord,” I answer flatly. “Little something he tried to do a thousand years ago, didn’t work and he plumb forgot about it, leading to all this.”
He groans, rolling his eyes and I nod, before popping out to find Twilight and the others.
Several hours later, I’m busy keeping the vines under control as best I can, when I hear Dissy’s voice from nearby.
Teleporting over, I stop a vine from grabbing Berry Pinch and send her to the Town Hall, where everypony is heading for safety.
“...just surprised you agreed to their plan,” his saying, giving a mocking look a shock, before turning his back and looking to her from over his shoulder. “I never would’ve thought you’d be the kind of pony who thought was more important than everypony else.”
Oh, yeah. That line. Man, I wanted to punch him so hard first time I heard that when watching the episode.
“I don’t think I’m better than anypony!” Twilight says angrily, his stance firm.
Discord pops above her, looking down. “Oh, well, how silly of me to assume that you would think that.” He then makes a purple royal looking robe appear over her body and that damned Twilicane appear held in one hoof. “All you did was choose to keep your precious princess self out of harm’s way, while your friends thrust themselves right into it.”
Twilight’s glare is mirrored by me, before I remember the reason Discord’s being so callous.
In fact, thinking about it, this was really clever of him. try to cover for himself and keep being seen as a friend by trying to help Twilight learn a lesson by making her go against her friends wishes and run back into the forest. Damnit, there's goes another reason to not like him.
“I’m sure you’ll all be the best of pals again,” he continues as Twi throws the robe and cane away, before he appears sticking out of one in, then out the other, “when they return from their terrifying, deeply bonding experience... that they’re having without you.”
With that, Twilight runs off, dislodging Discord from her ear and hurrying off, back into the forest, Discord taking a few steps to follow and waving, despite her not being able to see it.
I wait a few second, before popping up floating next to him. “Manipulating Twilight into remembering what’s most important to her so she’ll run off and fix things,” I say, looking up to him with a smirk. “Not bad.”
Discord turns and bows to me. “I do my best. After all, what are good friends for?”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah. And you had no idea I was watching, did you?”
He looks overly aghast. “Why, you thought I was acting? Just to impress you, instead of being the good friend to Twilight that I am.” He holds his claw over his heart. “You wound me, Screwball.”
I roll my eyes again. Sheesh, talk about bad acting. With the ponies I understand it, sometimes it does actually fool them, but he knows it won’t work on me.
“Fine,” I say, waving a hoof, “I’ll call you Daddy Discord from now on.”
At once the area around us turns into a large party with balloons and streamers, a big banner with me and dear old Daddy Dissy hugging on top of a cotton candy cloud, with big words above it saying, I’m A Daddy!
“Just to be clear, though,” I say, hearing a record scratch to indicate everything had paused, “even though I’ll call and think of you as Daddy, that doesn’t mean Filthy Rich stops being my Dad either, got it? You want me as a daughter, you're gonna hafta share me.”
He frowns, folding his arms and pouting. “Fine.”
I give a sly smile. “Also, how goes Operation Piss the Bitch off?”
At once his smile returns. “Oh hoo, hoo. I’ve never had so much fun, even with Celly and Lulu,” he adds that last part in a conspirative manner... as if anypony’s gonna hear.
I smirk. “Just be sure not to go too far. Annoying her is fine, but don’t make it so she loses her job or something like that.” I scowl. “That’s my win for later on for what she’s done.”
He give a slight frown for a moment, before nodding, his arms folded. “Very well, daughter. I suppose I can adhere to those conditions. And, I don’t see any problem with you delivering the finishing blow. How soon until you do, by the way?”
I smirk. “Now, Daddy dearest, if I told you, where would the fun be in that?”
The pink skinned girl in question looks up to see me leaning on a tree branch, grinning.
“Screwball!” she calls excitedly, waving.
I walk down through the air as if down a set of stairs and meet her, giving her a hug.
“What’s going on, my sister from another mother?” I ask, lightly punching her in the shoulder.
Diamond holds up a small bag filled with colouring books. “I’m on my way to see Lilac. You wanna join?”
I smirk, flicking my nose with my thumb. “Why not? Wasn’t much going on in my world anyway, and any excuse to meet with my inter dimensional sisters, right?”
Diamond chuckles and we both walk down the street in the direction of the hospital.
“So, how much longer do you think before they let Lilac out of the hospital?” I ask as we pause before crossing the road.
Diamond smiles. “If all goes well, by the end of the year.”
I grin back, my hands behind my head. “Sweet. So... how’re thing going at CHS, ya know, with Sunset Shimmer an’ all?”
At once a look passes over her face and she looks away. “I’d rather not talk about it.”
I lower my arms, my expression becoming firm, yet understanding. “Diamond, I know it’s hard to forgive her for the last three and a bit years for all she’s done, believe me, I know. But, if you and the rest of the students keep shutting her out and holding everything she did over her, none of you will ever move on. You of all people should know how it feels.”
That makes her expression sag a bit and she refuses to meet my eyes. “You talking about him?”
I shake my head, my expression becoming firmer. “No, Diamond. I was referring to how you treated everyone because it’s how he made you act. It took a bit of time, but everyone forgave you in the end, right?”
“Only because Sunset was worse,” she mutters.
I shake my head. “That’s beside the point. You know how it feels to have everyone ostracizing you for your past mistakes. Well, Sunset’s mistakes were far larger and more soul shattering than yours ever could be. She let her anger and desire for power blind her to the truth, which is why the crown turned her into that demon. Then, once the Elements took that all away, she saw for the first time just what she’d done. Remember, it was her past in Equestria as well as here that has since haunted her. How would you feel if everything you thought of was shattered right before your eyes and then everyone treated you as a social pariah when you were just trying to make amends?”
Diamond remains quiet for a while, until we turn onto another block and the hospital comes in sight. “I’ll... I’ll try, Screwy.”
I gave a soft smile. “That’s all I ask.” Then I grin again and slap her on the back. “So, hows about we talk about lighter topics. What’s your mom up to? I notice she’s not coming, or is she already at the hospital?”
Diamond recovers from my throwing off her momentum, before shaking her head. “Nah. She’s been busy for a while. She had to talk with Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna about the cost of the damages caused at the Fall Formal, not to mention she’s been figuring out the budget for the Friendship Games this year. She says they’re going to be something the games have never seen.”
I can’t help snickering. “Oh, you have no idea.”
She glances to me, confused. “Wait. Do you know what’s going to happen?”
I smirk and put a finger to my lips. “Let’s just say I do, but, being a being of chaos, I’m not really allowed to say anything. Risk to the timeline and all that.”
She pouts, before looking away. “So you won’t tell me if we finally beat Crystal Prep for once?”
I shake my head, putting a hand on her shoulder as we walk through the sliding doors and head towards Lilac’s room. “Sorry, sis, but no dice. I will say though that Cinch will get what’s coming to her.”
Diamond looks to me in confusion. “Huh?”
I somehow manage to scowl and smirk at the same time as I look away. “Let’s just say, if Daddy dearest ever decides to marry again, he and Cinch would be perfect for each other.”
“That makes me nervous,” Diamond says as we stop outside Lilac’s room.
I smile and slap her on the back. “Don’t worry. I got those two covered.”
We enter to find Lilac lying in bed, watching her room’s TV.
As Diamond goes over and hugs her, I glance at the TV, wondering what’s on. To my surprise, it’s a show from my own childhood, back as a normal human; Madeline, the cartoon show based on the books by Ludwig Bemelmans and adapted for TV. The episode currently playing seems to be Madeline and the New House. It’s the scene where the main characters’ new neighbours are storming off after, for some dumb reason, the woman of the two neighbours thinks and almond on top of what I think is carrot cake is a flee.
I frown as I watch it play out. Something about that scene and the one after it always bugged me as a kid (the first time around kid, that is), but I could never understand what it was that bugged me so much.
After the door closes in the show I realize one thing that bugged me was timing. As a quick experiment, I make a stopwatch appear in my right hand and time until the neighbours return. When they do it’s been just over thirty seconds. Even taking show time into account... Oh, those rotten...
“Hey, girls?” I say, causing Diamond and Lilac to pause in the latter’s examination of the colouring books. “I’ll be right back. Gotta kick and plot hole in... well, I guess the plot hole.”
Before either of them game respond, I snap my fingers and teleport away.
Miss Clavel and the little girls all dismayed after the door was closed by their two nasty neighbours.
“Don’t let their bolstering mislead you all.”
All of them jumped, turning around and being met with a most unusual sight. Standing on the railings of their apartment was a teenager with long, messy-curly purple and white hair and eyes that somehow had purple spirals for pupils. She was wearing a pink tank-top with a baseball and a screw on the front, a dark-purple skirt that was very short, pink and purple striped tights and purple shoes, a pink glove that reached to above her elbow and had no finger slots on the left, along with a purple rounded bracelet and the same but with the opposite colour scheme on her right.
It took a moment for them all to recover from the oddity of someone just standing on the railings, before Miss Clavel realized the danger the child was in.
“Young girl, get away from there!” she called out in fright, hurrying over, but the girl just hopped down, doing a somersault before landing on her feet.
Miss Clavel let out a sigh of relief, before opening her eyes and seeing the girl was gone.
“Not a bad place, really,” she turned around, as did the girls, to find the mystery girl was lying on the couch, scratching Genève behind the ear, which the brown dog was highly enjoying. “At least, it would be if you didn’t have to fit twelve little girls, yourself, your cook and dog all in here at once. Really gotta wonder what Cookuface was thinking when he suggested this arrangement.”
It took several moments before they all were able to shake off the oddness, Madeline stepping towards the girl, a puzzled frown on her face. “Who are you?”
The girl stopped scratching behind the dog’s ear and sat up, putting a finger to her chin, as if in thought. “Huh. not really sure if I should use my name here, outer dimensional beings watching and all that jazz,” she said, waving a hand. “Let’s just call me your Chaos Godmother for now, huh? Adds more mystery, ya know?”
Looks of confusion were exchanged.
“Shall we just call you Chaos?” Nicole asked, putting up a hand.
A shrug was her answer. “Now, onto the matter at hand...” the girl got an oddly wistful look on her face. “Ah, to say that without having to pony pun it. The joys of inter-dimensional travel to worlds with humans.” Shaking her head and leaving them all with that weird sentence to try figuring out, she snapped her fingers and, suddenly, the petition given to Miss Clavel by their neighbours was just in her hand. “This is a lot of tripe.”
The gathered girls all glanced at each other, not sure what to make of what she’d just said.
“S’ppose it would help if we had the culprits present,” Chaos shrugged, snapping her fingers again and, to the shock of everyone present, their two neighbours suddenly appeared, hanging upside down on the wall by the door leading outside.
“Wh-what in zee world?” the moustached man asked, looking around in confusion and shock.
Chaos seemed to bounce off the couch, landing perfectly in front of the down upturned people. However, now she was wearing a scowl and, for reasons neither the girls, Genève or Miss Clavel could understand why, the look sent chills down their spines.
She held the petition up to the seemingly bound people, her teeth bared. “How dare you lie just because you can’t handle having a few children around for a while, you heartless jerks!”
“Heartless?” the woman asked, glaring at Chaos, yet with fear in her eyes. “We only wished to keep our home peaceful and quiet.”
“That’s the biggest load of cow patties I’ve heard in my life!” Chaos shouted, before standing up and rubbing two fingers to her temple. “You have no idea how hard it is to censor myself in front of these impressionable young girls when dealing with filth like you.”
Before they could respond, the strange girl continued.
“You were gone for maybe thirty seconds, maximum! There’s no way on God's Green Earth that you could’ve gotten all those signatures within that time. Especially not when your reason for such a petition is cruelty to children! You might have found a few jerks like yourselves to sign it, but I have HIGH doubts that every single person in this building would sign something like that without at least getting to know these children and, as you so described dear sweet Genève, this dangerous menace first. The only way so many signatures could’ve been put on that paper in such a short time is if you made them all yourselves.”
With a flick of her wrist, the paper was gone.
“I just sent that fake petition to the police, along with a note describing how you two treated Miss Clavel and these wonderful girls without provocation. They’ll be coming to your homes later. And you,” she whirled her attention specifically on the woman, who flinched, before the cake she’s refused somehow floated over and Chaos grabbed it in one hand, before pulling the almond off the cake and holding it right up to the bound woman’s face. “Does this look like a flee to you, you miserable cow?! No? That’s because it’s an almond you stupid miserable cow!”
“And you, you fat jerk,” Chaos rounded on the man, her nostrils flaring. “You treat Genève like a mindless beast, but she saved Madeline’s life and even the mayor of Paris honoured her for heroism some time later for more acts of heroism in which she saved around a dozen drowning pure bred dogs. What have you done in your life that makes you more special than her?! I’ll tell you what, NOTHING!”
For several moments, Chaos stood there, breathing heavily, whilst everyone waited, tense, unsure what would happen next.
After a while, Chaos seemed to calm down, a blank look on her face as she looked at the town nasty neighbours. “Now that I’ve chewed you out and outlined your stupidity and cruelty, as well as put the police on your trail, I’ll send you back to your lonely, bitter lives.”
She snapped her fingers and both of them were gone.
There was silence for several long moments, before Madeline decided to ask, “Um, not that we do not appreciate your help, Chaos, but... how did you know all of that?”
The girl turned, giving Madeline a kind smile. “Let’s just say I’m no normal girl. Plus, it’s not like things that seem impossible, like say, a magic carpet, have never happened before, right?” She gave Madeline a wink as the smallest girl gasped. “Oh, and, just so you all know, this means you’ll be counted as witnesses to their actions. Don’t worry, though, you’ll be in the clear. Oh, and you should be getting a letter from Pepito right about... now.”
As soon as the word left her lips, there was another knock at the door. Opening it, Miss Clavel was given a post card, before the postman left.
Reading it, she moaned, “Oh no,” before handing it over to Madeline.
“It is from Pepito,” Madeline said, beginning to read as the asked what it said, before gasping and crying out, “They’re tearling down our old house!”
The girls all gasped.
“And I’ll help with that too,” they all turned to Chaos, who was smirking. “I’ll send you all back right now, along with Cooku himself, giving him the info dump straight into his head. Would certainly explain how it happened in the episode. Also, sorry, but none of you will remember me. It’ll be better for you that way, with how those two jerks will be claiming a girl was magically holding them up against the wall of this place. Can't let anyone watching know either. Would bring up too many questions. You might spot me hanging around Paris every so often though.”
And with the sound of her fingers snapping, the world turned to white.
I pop out of the Madeline cartoon’s universe, reappearing in the hospital room, only to find Diamond is staring at me open mouthed.
“What?” I ask, glancing from her to Lilac, the latter of whom’s giving me a big smile.
“Screwball teach nasty neighbours!” she cheers, before clapping.
I blink, before turning to the TV, then back to them. “Wait, you both saw me do that?”
Diamond nods, lookign confused. “But, why does it feel like I shouldn’t know that, but I do?”
I frown, putting hand to my chin in thought. “Hmm. Guess I subconsciously wanted you two to remember it, so whilst what I did will make sure no one else notices me meddling in that episode, you still did. Then again, maybe no one ever questions the timing because of what I did?”
After a few moments, I shrug.
“Eh, whatever. Let’s have some fun, huh?”
Lilac cheers and Diamond, though she has an expression that says she wishes we’d talk more about this, but agrees and we sit around and talk with Lilac as my double enjoys the new colouring books.
I pop back into Equestria several hours later, finding myself above what I take a moment to realize is that temple from the episode Daring Don’t.
I groan, facehoofing. Great. So that’s happening now, huh? And it’s really canon? Dammit.
Sighing, I float down and notice Twilight and the others keeping the weird tribe ponies at bay by playing Keep Away with the final ring needed, whilst Dash is helping Daring Do lift the last ring up on the pedestal.
“STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER” shouts a loud voice and I turn, giving a deadpan to Ahuizotl, who pauses as I’m in his way, his expression becoming confused.
“Ug,” I groan, before holding a hoof up, a sphere of red energy glowing around it.
“Oh no,” the beast replies pathetically, before a huge explosion blinds everypony around. When it clears, old Ahu is lying unconscious, a stupid expression in his face and his tongue hanging out.
With silence ringing all around, I turn and look, still wearing my deadpan, at Dash and Daring. “Hurry up and remove that last ring, will ya?”
Dash and Daring glance at each other, before doing so, Dash calling out that everypony needs to get out before the place comes crashing down around us.
Knowing that, somehow, Ahu and the tribe ponies survive the place falling on top of them, I follow the others out.
After the dust clears, I nod to the others, teleporting away just as I hear Ahu shouting, “Daring Do, I will have my revenge!” and facehoofing at how lame it sounds. Also, thanks for completely forgeting about the filly that busted your ass, Ahu. Jerk.
“So, what did you do today?” Diamond asks as I pass by her room, heading towards my own, having teleported here right after visiting Sugar Cube Corner in the Equestria Girls’ world. It’s strange, but human Pound and Pumpkin aren’t nearly as cute as their pony counterparts.
“Eh, not much,” I shrug. “Just went into an alternate dimension to speak with another version of me, hope into a fictional story to deal with two cruel assholes who were treating a bunch of kids like trash, then came back to Equestria and helped the Element Bearers beat a stupid monster from a story book series in our universe that it turns out is real.”
“So, nothing out of the ordinary then, huh?” she smirks.
I smirk back. “Nope, nothing.”
We nod and I head into my room, closing the door behind me. I nod to Randolph, who leaving, a tray with several sandwiches and a glass filled with a chocolate and caramel brownie thick-shake left on my dresser.
Big City Blow Away and, Oh, What the Hay; have a Three Course Buffe
I start, dropping out of bed, falling flat on my face on the floor.
Pulling myself up, I turn one of my hooves into a hand, clench it, put my thumb in my mouth and blow, inflating myself back to normal.
Returning my hand back into a hoof, I look up, glaring at my alarm clock, which is bouncing around on the ceiling repeating the original theme song for the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers.
Why would it...?
I blink, I clicking in my mind before a grin forms on my face. Ooh, today gun be good.
I head downstairs to find Spoiled is gone. Good. Day’s starting out great already and I’m not even at the castle yet.
I’ve honestly been struggling not to do some truly cruel things to Spoiled after a few days ago. It was the events of Flight to the Finish and, as you can imagine, Spoiled was none too happy after finding out Diamond not only lost the Flag Carrying Competition, but that she lost it to the CMC.
Diamond was in tears by the end of Spoiled’s belittling. I spent the whole night comforting Diamond, taking her back to the Equestria Girls world so that Diamond and I could comfort her together. She really needed it, though I can tell she’s still not at the point where she’ll ignore Spoiled’s ideals and will continue to follow in her hoof steps until the CMC help her to finally see the right path in life.
I decide to have a bowl of Crunchy Corn cereal for breakfast, which tastes a lot better than it sounds, I can assure you, before heading out at a normal pace to the castle in the Everfree, just floating along lazily.
Today Spike pulls the Mane 6 into his Power Ponies comic and I plan on getting a good look at the Power Ponies’ world while they’re off dealing with the Mane-Iac. I’m curious about their other villains.
I mean, Mane-Iac’s kind of a blend of Poison Ivy and the Joker, so I wonder what the other villains are like.
As I enter the castle proper, I hear the girls calling out for Spike, my grin spreading as I know the moment is soon to come.
I continue to float around lazily until I feel the tell tale signature of the enchanted comic Spike has of the Power Ponies, followed shortly after by the cries of the seven.
With my grin not fading a bit, I pop into the room the comic is in and smirk down at it. Time for some real fun.
Focusing, I lock onto the dimension of the comic’s world itself and teleport in.
I take a few moments to look around at Maretropolis, admiring the huge skyscrapers and other buildings.
Now to check on what exactly happened to the Power Ponies when Spike activated that comic.
A big window opens up before me and I can’t help cocking my eyebrow at what I’m seeing. The real Power Ponies are floating in some kind of pocket dimension in suspended animation. Guess they’re return here once the Mane 6 and Spike are done beating the Mane-Iac.
Interestingly, it turns out Humdrum, the Power Ponies’ sidekick, whom Spike becomes, is actually an Earth Pony and, despite Twilight still having her wings when taking her place, Masked Matterhorn is just a unicorn, not a Pegasus with an artificial horn like I’d original theorized back when I was human.
I shrug, the window closing as I turn to look out over the city. Well, while the Mane 6 and Spike handle the Joker/Poisons Ivy like villain, maybe I’ll see about the other bad guys around here. Might be fun.
The doors to the Maretopolis Museum exploded open as a golden chariot that kind of looked like a go-kart rolled out.
Sitting in the driver’s seat was what many would assume a mummy pony, as it was covered in cloth bandages, with only it’s large, completely blue eyes visible to show anything underneath, with three more in the back with several large brown bags.
Sitting right behind the driver mummy was an Earth Pony stallion with a tan-coloured coat, wearing golden vestments like those of the ancient pharaohs that ruled the deserts, his blackish-brown tail being tied back by one such piece of clothing. On his flank was an ankh Cutie Mark.
“Ha, ha, ha!” he called out in triumph as the kart landed on the ground and began to head away from the museum. “A good night’s haul!” he gave an intrigued smirk. “I wonder why I have yet to see the Power Ponies tonight.”
“They’re a little too occupied at the moment. But that’s why I’m here to deal with you, Phony Pharaoh.”
At once the kart came to a halt, causing the four passengers to go flying, smashing into a nearby wall.
The Earth Pony shook his head before looking around, glaring. “Who dares? I am Pharaoh Fetlock.”
“Call yourself whatever you want, I’m still gonna call you a phony, Phony.”
He turned his head in the sound of the voice and had to tilt his head at what he saw. It looked like a filly, though it was both her posture and outfit that caused the self-proclaimed pharaoh pause.
She was wearing orange spandex that covered her entire body, even her face and eyes, the latter of which were covered by pure purple cloth.
However, that was not the oddest thing about this filly. She was standing on her back legs, yet seemed totally at ease with it, when ponies were not meant to stand like that.
The filly was leaning against a wall near where the kart had been halted suddenly and, looking, Pharaoh could now see why. Somehow, the tires had melted as if like gum and stuck to the road.
“I... but... wha?” was his only response, his mummy minions also looking thoroughly confused.
“Yeah, but of a different look, I know,” the filly said casually, as if they were just having a normal conversation. She pushed herself off the wall and starting walking over to the car, using only her back legs, it looking completely normal for her. “Since this is a literally comic book world, I thought, maybe try another Rider design. Keep Chaos solely for EQG, ya know. But, then I decided, ya know what? It’s a comic book. Why not go all out with a great design.”
She stopped in front of the kart, before hopping onto the front and doing several suggestive poses.
“Whatcha think? Pretty sleek huh? I’m all for the Kamen Rider look, but this feels more fitting for a comic, right?”
Pharaoh shielded his eyes. “What is wrong with you, foal? Have your parents never taught you decency?”
“Hmm. Guess that depends.” He jumped, toppling back and looking behind him to find the filly had somehow ended up behind where he’d just been standing, shrugging. “I guess you could say my father tries to teach me that. Mom though. Pfft. Yeah right. And DD? Eh, that’s a fifty/fifty there, really.”
“I... how did you...? When did you...?” he stammered, his eyes widening as he spoke as he saw all his minions tied up with their own bandages, with the filly sitting atop one of them, one back leg folded over the other as she twirled a large sewing needle that he defiantly knew wasn’t there before.
The filly just giggled. “Well, you’re certainly more fun to mess around with than that Long Face.” Somehow her expression showed through her mask, showing a bored expression, tossing the needle into the air where it turned into a mouse, landed on the ground and scurried off. “I mean, yeesh. Sad this, sad that. Droopy blah blah blah. Bor-ing! Was fun seeing him crack when I wouldn’t take him seriously though. But sadness gas? I thought Mane-Iac was meant to be the Joker-inspired villain in this place? Emotional manipulation gas is his thing. More fun too, really, even if his would eventually kill you in time.”
Pharaoh just stared, not sure what to make of this filly. She was acting as if nothing odd was going on. As if she hadn’t somehow dealt away with all his minions in seconds, or that she was facing him down. She was acting like a foal playing a game and giving commentary as they played.
The filly blinked, before looking up and he could somehow tell she was smiling underneath her mask. “Whelp, guess that’s my cue.” She looked back to him and gave a salute. “Was fun while it lasted. But, you can expect the Power Ponies here any second now that Twi and the gang wrapped things up on their end. Later, Phony Pharaoh.”
With that, there was a flash of light and she was just gone.
The Earth Pony blinked several times, glancing around quickly to see if she was hiding somewhere.
When he was certain she was not, he went over to his minions and untied them all. “Get to work fixing the wheels!” he ordered, pointing to their mode of transportation. “While I have no clue just what happened there, but now that that strange pony is gone, we must get back to my tomb, before—”
“You’re on the road to ruin, Phony Pharaoh!” a voice called out from above.
He growled. He’d already been called that way too many times for his likely tonight. “Who dares—?”
I watch sadly from my window as Diamond, Silver and the CMC hang around in the pool.
The last couple days have gone by with season 4 moving along at an even, if honestly rather dull pace.
After Twilight and the other returned from with Spike’s Power Ponies comic, I teleported it to my room, locking it away in a safe of my own design for safe keeping.
Since Spring was before the events of the season 4 premiere, the events of Simple Ways was a while ago. It’s weird, knowing it won’t be happening after recent events.
For some reason, none of the Mane 6 bothered to think of me when it came to the incident with the Vampire Fruit bats and the whole Flutterbat debacle that came right after.
While I’m still yet unable to give Spoiled all she deserves, I was able to teach one heartless mare a little lesson, after she took Rarity’s personally designed fabric and acted like it was her own.
Not only did I make it easy for her to be disqualified from the fashion show judging altogether after Rarity was deemed the winner, whilst Suri’s stolen fashion would’ve gotten second place (meaning Rarity technically won first and second), but I also got Coco Pommel to come out and expose that Suri didn’t even do her own designs, but slave-laboured Coco to do all the outfits made with the stolen fabric just to get them done within twenty-four hours, so it’d be ready for the fashion show.
Needless to say, her fashion carrier is over and she’s doing community service until she’s paid off her debt to society.
I did get a good laugh when Spoiled blew her top after hearing me explaining that to Diamond, though. Turns out Spoiled gets all her best outfits from Suri’s business and just sees it as me trying to ruin her life more. Frankly, that was just an unintended bonus.
Pinkie is now recognized as a member of the Apples due to the Pies and Apples being distantly related thanks to Apple Sauce sharing Pie blood.
Rainbow having to learn her Harmony Lesson was kinda fun, I guess. I don’t see why so many Bronies complained about the design of Rainbow Falls. It’s a nice place.
I left Discord to his thing with Twilight and Cadance, as I had to go and heal Rarity and AJ after he spread his fake Blue Flu to then. Do still think he was a bit of a dick there, for doing that.
Also, like with how nopony thought to ask me about helping in the Flutterbat thing, they again didn’t bother when it came to Mac’s voice during the events of Filly Vanilli. I guess I’m glad it all played out in the end, since it does help Fluttershy come out of her shell more, but it really is starting to bug me that the Mane 6 keep forgetting that, while they can’t rely on Discord to always help without causing more trouble, I’m more than willing to lend a hoof when needed.
Anyway, with the events of Twilight Time having been playing out recently, I know I’m at least getting close to certain events where I’ll be able to take out me bits of anger for certain characters. A particular pair of lanky unicorns come to mind, specifically.
Not wanting to watch the events play out, I decide I’ll hang around in the EQG world. perhaps watch over the girls as they go through what they did in the shorts for Rainbow Rocks.
“So, if I understand this right, you had a chance to get in Princess Twilight Sparkle’s good graces, and you blew it just to make yourself look better than three failures?!” Spoiled demands of Diamond.
We’re sitting at the dining table. The chef made a lovely Prench meal, even giving me a particular meat dish I’d asked for, since I’ve made it so I can enjoy meat despite being a pony.
As you can guess, Diamond went through with everything, making the CMC look bad in front of Twilight and the rest of the foals in town, but also making Twilight displeased with herself and Silver as well and with Daddy out of town for the night, Spoiled isn’t holding back.
“I... I’m... sorry, I—” Diamond tries anxiously.
“Sorry isn’t good enough, Diamond Tiara!” Spoiled snaps, her nostrils flaring. “Do you realize how much better off we’d be if we could get in favour of the princesses, even if it’s that worthless excuse for one?”
“Oh, yeah! Because our lives are so hard at the moment!” I snap back, causing their attention to turn to me as I look Spoiled right in the eye. “Because it’s not like we live in the most expensive building in all of Ponyville. It’s not like we have paid staff who’ll do anything we say. For Celestia’s sake, when grandmother named you Spoiled, she was sure on the money with that! Nothing’s ever good enough for you, is it?!”
She just glares back at me. “Be careful of how you speak to me, foal,” she says in a warning tone.
I scoff, staring her down. “Oh yeah? Or what? I’ve got the Element Bearers, the Royal Sisters and even the God of freaking Chaos behind me. Just what in Equestria could you honestly threaten me with, Spoiled Bitch? Really, do tell! I’d love to know!”
We spend several long minutes glaring, before I glance at Diamond, then back at Spoiled with a snarl.
“What Daddy sees in you is beyond even mine and Discord’s understanding. It doesn’t even make sense to us, the two beings of chaos in this entire demension! Come on, Diamond,” I say, turning and hopping off my seat and moving over to my sister. “We’ll, finish dinner in my room, where we won’t have to deal with the heartless beast that calls herself our mother.”
“Don’t you even—” Spoiled’s rant is cut off as I teleport myself, Diamond and our meals to my room.
I put a hoof on Diamond’s shoulder and she looks at me with tears in her eyes. “No matter what, you’ll always have me, sis.”
We both hug, before returning to our meals, which I’ve set on a fine table to make it feel like we’re eating at a fancy restaurant, with the stuffed animals in my room acting as the waiting staff.
I stretched out while lazily floating above Sweet Apple Acres, just relaxing. Season 4 seems to be winding towards its end.
When the Breezies came, Fluttershy had to learn that being kind meant kicking them out. Though, frankly, I was with Sea Breeze. He had a legit reason for being so frustrated with the other Breezies wanting to just chill at Fluttershy’s and have her doing things for them, when he has a wife and child back in his world he was really anxious to get back to.
I decided to pay the chimera a little visit after Applejack and Apple Bloom were done with their pie delivery. I had a few choice words for it. Let’s just say it won’t be willing to harm ponies that trek into that swamp ever again.
I met up with Maud at one point during her visit to Ponyville. I decided to play around a little, turning myself into a double of her, but using Raven’s voice. Dash couldn’t figure out why, but she thought was hilarious.
I decided to stay out of things during the events of For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils, as I wasn’t really sure how I felt about interfering with that, to be honest.
As I pass over the swimming hole, I notice Applejack, Big Mac and Apple Bloom swimming in the water, with Granny Smith sitting in a deck chair. From what I can tell, she’s telling the story of how she used to be an Aqua Pony Allstar.
My relaxed expression turns a little sour. Oh, great. So today’s the start of Leap of Faith. I suppose I shouldn’t be too displeased by that, seeing as that is the special lesson about Honesty Applejack needs to learn in order to get her key, but I still don’t like that Flim and Flam will get away with it for a while.
Once AJ’s learned her lesson though, I’m gonna give those two unicorns a piece of my mind.
Man, I need to lighten my mood before I start unintentionally cuasing a chocolate rain cloud to form.
Glancing around the area, I notice Big Mac is swimming a bit further away from the others.
I blink, before remembering a part of that episode and grin.
I quickly teleport down to hover in front of Big Mac’s face. “Hey, Big Mac.”
He turns to look at me, not saying a word.
I grin, putting a leg around his shoulder and pull him close to whisper, “You wanna pull a funny little prank on Apple Bloom? I promise, it’s harmless, just really funny.”
He glances back towards the females in his family, before looking back to me and giving a small smirk of his own. “Eeyup.”
My grin widens a little and a realistic plastic shark fin appears on his head. He glances up at it, before looking to me.
“I’ll give you a small bubble of air to breathe while you’re underwater,” I explain, a bubble appearing in my hooves that I put over his mouth. “I think you can figure out the rest?”
He grins, nodding with a “Eeyup,” and dives down.
I decide to watch it play out and hold my hooves over my mouth so Apple Bloom doesn’t notice my snickering. I can be kind of loud if I’m not careful, and on a calm day like today, I’m pretty sure she’d notice it.
Though, now that I’m looking over there again... why is Apple Bloom wearing her bow in her hair while swimming? Did that happen in the episode, or is this one of those small differences the real Equestria has over the show?
I shrug. Eh, whatever. Not my problem and I’ve more entertaining things to focus on.
I walk around the area of the swim meet. I know what’s going to happen, but at the same time, I can’t help but be anxious. I mean, one false move and Granny could, at best, end up in a wheelchair and at worst... I’d really rather not think about it.
“Get your Applejack Aproved tonic!” Flim’s voice causes me to grind my teeth. “Granny Smith drinks it, why shouldn’t you?”
This really bugged me a lot and still does. Applejack never actually approved of that stupid fake tonic. Flim and Flam just put words into her mouth in a way that she couldn’t outright back out of it without hurting Granny Smith’s feelings.
Man, I hate these two.
I will admit my mood improves as I watch Granny and Apple Bloom do their routine and win a big trophy... at least until they both start talking about how they were only able to do it because of the tonic. GAH! I wanna smash something right now so hard!
“What in blazes does she think she’s doin’?” Applejack asks several minutes later as Granny starts climbing the high dive to perform her final act.
Glancing down at the saucer Apple Bloom sets down, I feel panic rise up in me. That thing’s way too small. It’s more the size for a high diving chipmunk, not a pony!
Applejack hurries to stop Granny, but I can see there’s no way she’ll reach her in time, so I stop her and shake my head. I’ll handle this.
When Granny dives, I turned that tiny little saucer of water into a jumping castle, because I’m honestly not willing to trust Applejack wouldn’t accidently snap Granny’s bones yanking her with a lasso due to the momentum she’d been gathering on the way down. May not have happened in the show, but since ponies can bleed in this world, I’m not taking any chances.
When Granny stops bouncing and gets back down, she and everypony else turn to me. can’t blame them, everypony in town knows about my Chaos Magic, so it makes sense they’d all quickly deduce that I was the culprit here.
Granny gives me a displeased look. “Now what in tarnation did ya do that for?”
Applejack steps forward. “That was the most fool-pony thing Ah’ve ever seen anypony do in all mah life!”
Actually, I’m pretty sure you’ve seen stuff ponies have done that are far more foolish than that, several instances with Rainbow Dash certainly come to mind, but I’ll not interrupt.
Applejack shakes her head. “You can’t do a dive like that.”
“Oh, quit yer fussin’,” Granny scolds back. “Ah had enough tonic to do a dive ten times as high.”
No. No, you did not.
“Twenty times, by my count,” Flim says.
Don’t turn him into cheese.
“Thirty, with a favourable breeze,” Flam interjects, levitating over another bottle to Granny.
Applejack, fucking hurry up and learnt that damn lesson already, before I alter events by blasting these two to the moon!
Just as I’m certain I’m about to risk the timeline, Applejack finally comes clean and explains how the tonic is fake.
However, when the ponies talk about how she gave it her approval, ask if she lied and she admits she did, I stop her.
“Okay, no. I’m going to correct you all there,” I say, floating up in front of Applejack. “Technically, Applejack didn’t lie about the tonic, only not said why it didn’t work in general and had merely stated it seemed to work for Granny simply because Granny had it in her all along and her belief in the tonic just helped her be brave enough. As for her giving it her approval, it was Flim and Flam who said Applejack approved of the tonic and how she never once said anything of the sort to confirm their claims is because the way they pushed her into a corner meant she couldn’t come clean without breaking Granny Smith’s new confidence in herself.”
Applejack smiles at me, before turning with a glare at the brothers and starts walking towards them. “But tellin’ ponies yer tonic can do stuff it can’t is wrong.”
“But you just said it boasts confidence,” Flim says and I scowl. Oh, I hated this part so much. Shows just how much of a pair of weasels they are.
Hmm. Weasels. Now there’s an amusing idea.
Thankfully, Silver Shill calls them out before they continue to dig themselves into a deeper hole or I do something unpleasant to them.
As Shill gives Applejack the bit that becomes her key, I notice those two con artists trying to get away.
Well, time to teach these weasels a thing or two. Then maybe I’ll take them to...
I pause, frowning. I was planning on taking them straight to Celestia (if only to get them punished for trying to evict the Apples from the whom she herself had given them when they’d had no rights to, not to mention this time round almost causing the death of one of the oldest Apples left from before Ponyville’s founding) after turning them into something more fitting of them, but something’s stopping me.
Despite every urge I have to punish them for what they did all the way back when the events of their introduction episode happened and this time around, I keep getting this feeling I need to let them go, as if, despite them being rotten con artists, something good would come of letting them go this one time.
I suppose it’s possible they’ll realize how bad things could’ve gone had Applejack and I not stepped in and saved Granny and they’ll learn from it. Do I fully believe that? No. Do I completely feel there’s no chance of any kind of redemption for them? Again, no. After all, Discord becomes fully reformed after the incident with Tirek, so I should be willing to give those two unicorns at least one more chance.
I yawn, stretching out on the roof of Sugar Cube Corner.
Dash is now in the Wonderbolts Reserves and the Equestria Games have been and gone. It was a lot more fun than the show led on, what with so much not being shown. It was fun seeing all those events, especially thanks to my keeping Spike from losing his nerve when meant to light the flame. How? Popped up behind him suddenly and kicked him up the ass. Meant all that cringe never happened, plus he gets a big confidence (and, regarding his position in as a hero in the eyes of the Crystal Empire's citizens, ego) boost after using his dragon fire to stop the ice cloud.
As for Inspiration Manifestation? Urgh! Seriously, if Spike ever finds a mysterious, clearly evil-looking book locked away in such a manor it’s clear it was never meant to be found, let alone used and lets whatever is within it be unleased again, I swear, he’ll regret it.
Twilight, Luna and Cadance weren’t the only ones having to go all around Ponyville fixing the Dark Magic Rarity used while under the spell’s influence. I even had to track down that puppeteer and remove all the Dark Magic from the portable stage Rarity gave him, while poofing up a replacement on the house.
I’m not joking. This was that dragon’s one and only warning.
So, what did I do today? Twilight and the others weren’t around when I woke up and I couldn’t be bothered looking for them, so I spent some time in the Everfree, messing with some of the more dangerous monsters in there.
It’s night-time right now. Everypony save Twilight came back not long before dinner, though they all had their own stuff to do, so I didn’t bother them.
I know Spoiled is likely blowing a gasket right now with how I’m staying SO late out past my curfew. Dad’s away on business in Manehatten. If he were here, I’d be obeying the rule no problem. Spoiled? Ha! Not even in her dreams.
After watching the stars for a few moments, I decide I may as well turn in. However, just as I get up and am about to teleport back to my room, I feel a shiver go down my spine.
I blink for a moment, before my eyes widen. That was a magical imbalance. Oh... crap. Now I know why Twilight and the others aren’t around earlier today.
The next night, I sense Discord helping Tirek steal more and more magic. Pretty soon he’ll be heading towards Canterlot.
I glare, teleporting over to Discord shortly after he convinced Tirek that Discord sensing all the Alicorn Magic being moved to Twilight wasn’t anything.
As Tirek starts walking off towards the castle, I stomp a hoof on Discord’s reptile foot.
“OW!” he yelps, before looking down and noticing me. “Oh, Screwball, how nice to see you.”
I just glare up at him. “So, being evil is more important to you than friendship? Than Fluttershy?” I snarl. “Than me?!”
He looks a bit shocked by that last part. “What do you mean, darling? I still care about you, you know that.”
Before I can retort, I feel an aura take hold of my body and yank me back, before I’m staring into the eyes of Tirek himself.
Oh... crap. I’m at once panicking, so much I somehow forget how I can use my magic. If Tirek drains my magic too, I don’t even want to think about what that could do to me!
Will I end up locked within my own mind like I was before Discord put Chaos Magic into me?! Will I cease to exist?! Will my mind be shattered?!
As Tirek opens his mouth and I sense his spell starting, I suddenly feel myself grabbed in a teleport and find myself held in Discord’s arms.
“Oh, thank you!” I cry, tears literally pouring as I try and fail to calm my breathing as he holds me close, stroking my mane. I bury my face into his chest. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, Daddy! I was so scared!”
“Daddy?” I barely manage to bring myself to glance back at the centaur, who’s voice was filled with a mixture of anger, shock and bemusement.
Discord glare at him. “Yes, Tirek. This filly is my daughter, Screwball. How and when she became my daughter is not important. However, know that if there is anypony I will not let you harm, it’s her. Understand?”
Tirek looks angry for a moment, before he seems to think it over and smile. “Very well, Discord. I see no reason to cause your offspring harm. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” he turns towards the castle. “Now, we have a meeting with royalty to attend.”
Discord gives me a few more reassuring rubs on the back, before setting me down and tells me to wait for them to come back.
... Yeah, no way is that happening. I’m staying the hell away from Equestria during this time. I teleport back to Ponyville, grabbed Diamond and took as all to spend the remaining time hanging with the other Diamond and Silver Spoon in the EQG world. True I pop in briefly to watch as Twilight lowered the moon and raised the sun (it’s seriously even funnier seeing it happen in person, I can assure you), but throughout the rest stayed in the human world.
Why? Easy. Once Tirek took Discord’s Chaos Magic, he would’ve been able to sense anything I did that involved my own magic. He’d have gotten to me and drained my magic too and as I’ve already stated, I do not want to think about what that could result in for me.
So, I waited with a small pocket mirror showing what was going on in Equestria and the moment I saw he’d taken all the Alicorn Magic, I brought us all back (putting Diamond and Silver in my room for safety) and distracted him so he wouldn’t notice the others going to the Tree of Harmony to unlock the chest.
Though I decide to enter in style. The roar of a motorcycle engine causes Tirek to look down as I pull a sharp turn upon entering the dimension, stopping the bike in place.
“What?” he gives me a confused glare as I get off the bike and stand before him.
Thankfully, with all the Alicorn Magic now within him, he seemed to fail to realize he could’ve beaten me in a second with the Chaos Magic he stole. Though this is likely due to my taking on Kamen Rider Decade’s appearance right before re-entering Equestria. Despite having used Chaos Magic to get here, my appearance alone makes no sense to him.
“Tirek,” I say firmly, “you will not win.”
That causes him to smirk. “Oh, little oddly dressed pony? And why is that?”
I hold up a card, before lowering the hoof holding it to the belt around my waist (I should point out I’m standing upright like a human, probably another thing that threw him off), and put it in. “This.”
Kamen Ride, the deep voice, with a Japaneighs accent says from nowhere. Kabuto.
At once my appearance appears to shimmer, before I’m wearing armour with a more beetle style. The armour of Kamen Rider Kabuto.
Attack ride, the deep voice says as I take out another card and put it into the belt. Clock Up.
At once, time drastically slows down, Tirek along with it. I grin. Wow. The doofus can’t even remember he can be outside of time now that he has DD’s magic. Oh well. Sucks for him.
I run around, leaping and kicking him as high as I can reach without using my Chaos Magic. While he is huge now and has the magic of a LOT of ponies, along with all the currently known Alicorns and the rest of the Mane 6 and Discord, I am still an Earth Pony. Chaos isn’t the only type of magic I have.
Once the timer on my belt warns me Clock Up is about to run out several minutes later, I move a fair distance away as my form returns to that of Decade.
Soon as time returns to normal, Tirek yells in pain... though he sounds only mildly annoyed. Damn. Guess his body’s tougher with all that magic than I’d thought.
“Why you little—” he begins, before he’s cut off by the voice from my belt.
Kamen Ride: FAIZ. My appearance quickly changes to more of a firefly style. The style of Kamen Rider FAIZ. Attack ride: Auto Vajin. At once, the motorcycle I rode in on transforms into a robot and flying up at Tirek.
He roars, trying to blast it several times, but it dodging around his attacks... until his seems to remember he has Chaos Magic. a snap of his fingers and the robot turns to dust, scattering in the winds.
Just as quickly I feel his Chaos Magic grab me as I return to Decade’s appearance again, yanking me through the air until and floating in front on him, the magic holding me in place and preventing anything I can do.
“I’ll make you pay for that, you little worm,” he snarls.
Before I can even start to feel fear, however, I notice a surge of energy coming from the direction of the Tree of Harmony. It’s enough to distract Tirek, who seemed to sense it too and I struggle against his magical hold, pulling out another card and slipping it into the belt’s slot.
Kamen Rider: Hibiki. I’m covered in blue flames, which when they fade, reveal my new form looks more like traditional style Oni (Japanese demons).
“Huh?” he turns back to me, looking confused, but I’ve already slipped another card into the slot.
Attack Ride: Ongekibou Rekka. A pair of sticks form in my hands, the ends lighting with fire that I throw at his face.
He cries out in anger, his grip failing and I drop to the ground, landing safely as I revert back to Decade again.
Thankfully, that seems to have bought me enough time as the Mane 6 fly into the air from the direction of where the Tree of Harmony is, all now in their Rainbow Powered forms.
Knowing it’s safe, I make Decade’s costume vanish, pull up a lounge chair and a box of popcorn and watch the show.
Whelp, Season 4’s about wrapped up. In a few days we should finally be getting to Rainbow Rocks. Man, I can’t wait for that.
Rock It. … What, you expected some big cool name for this chapter? I’m a being of Chaos, bugger off will…? Wait. Why the @#$% did I just…? Wait. Did I just get bleeped? Who the @#$% thinks they can bleep me?!
Rock It. … What, you expected some big cool name for this chapter? I’m a being of Chaos, bugger off will…? Wait. Why the @#$% did I just…? Wait. Did I just get bleeped? Who the @#$% thinks they can bleep me?!
The portal glows brightly, revealing that Twilight’s machine is working and the portal is now open for easy passage to and from Equestria and the EQG world.
Gotta say, I’m glad we’ve finally gotten to this point. Last couple weeks have been... well, season 4, I guess is the best way to put it.
After that, thing’s were pretty quiet. We spent the last day or so recovering all of Twilight’s stuff from the remains of the Golden Oaks Library.
I offered to use my magic to restore all the things that were permanently lost, but that only seemed to sadden Twilight. She said something about it just not being the same.
Anyway, as much as I remember everyone questioning why the Map wasn’t in Rainbow Rocks, I’m here to say, yeah, somehow, not once have every member of the Mane 6 sat in their personal throne at the same time in all this time.
Right, okay, back to present matters. Just about half an hour ago, Twilight got the message intended for Celestia from Sunset Shimmer telling her about the Sirens.
Gotta say, I cannot wait til the Rainboom clean their clocks, because then I get my turn with them.
“Ah don’t suppose we could join you this time around?” Applejacks asks Twilight as the now official Princess of Friendship turns away from the mirror to face us.
“Better not,” Twilight shook her head, but smiled. “It could make things pretty confusing if Canterlot High suddenly had two of all of you.”
The others all stare blankly for a moment, clearly trying to picture such a scenario in their heads, before smiling and nodding in agreement.
“Of course, Spike and I can still go,” I say, hovering over to the Alicorn. “Spike’s other self ain’t been seen anywhere near Canterlot High at this point in time and as for myself? The other me’s still in hospital recovering.”
“Uh, we can go, right?” Spike asks, clearly not wanting to just assume, even though I know it’s not necessary.
Twilight nods. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. Besides,” she smiles warmly at me, “I’m sure Screwball wants to see how her family is getting along after all this time.”
Hmm. Do I tell her now that I’ve been able to go there since before Sunset took the crown?
Nah! I’ll wait til later; maybe right before we head back the morning after the Battle of the Bands is over.
With all said and done, we head into the mirror, myself being the only smart one out of the three of us and walking through instead of running.
The only reason Twilight goes flying is because she was running through the portal.
One hop through the dimensions via magic mirror later and we’re back in front of the statue of Canterlot High.
We head on over to Sugar Cube Corner and fill the Humane 6 about the sirens, as well as a catch up on what’s been happening in Equestria since Twilight’s last visit.
I, of course, avoid mentioning how I’ve already been back multiple times, or how I’ve brought several other ponies with me.
I hang next to Sunset throughout the how time at the bakery/cafe. I can tell she appreciates it. And, yeah. Remember how annoying the “no offense” thing got when watching the movie? Being there in person makes it even more annoying.
So, as you can imagine, Twilight’s plan to beat the Dazzlings failed pathetically.
With that the girls all decide to have a Sleep Over at Pinkie’s place. While the girls all hang out, I decided to have a chat with the human version Maud. It was quite the amusing and engaging conversation.
The next day at school... oh, boy. However bad Snips and Snails’ rapping sounded in the movie, it is WAY worse experiencing it firsthand.
Gah! I think my ears actually started bleeding, it was that bad.
I did have to laugh, seeing Sonata getting into the beat, though. That was probably the only good thing to come out of their performance.
I walk with the girls out of the gym to the taunts from the other students, reminding myself that they’re all just under the Sirens’ spell. Once we break it, they’ll all stop being such jerks.
Having lagged behind the girls to walk alongside Sunset, I come around the corner as the girls are moving away from Flash and his band.
“You really think you’re gonna help them?” he jeers out as Twilight and the other head off. “Ha! I bet you’ve know idea what you’re even doing!”
Sunset went off after the others, but I walk slower, glaring at Flash as I pass him.
“And what do you want?” he sneers at me.
I just slowly lift up my right hand and snap my fingers. At once, the door of the locker behind him flings open, slamming into him and sending him headfirst into the wall.
His two band mates look on in shock, before looking to me with fear in their eyes as I glare at the three of them.
“Believe me, I want to do far worse,” I snarl, before heading off to meet with the others, Sunset having already finished her confrontation with the Sirens.
Later on, when Flash and his band have been knocked out of the competiton and he storms off, I’m waiting nearby, smirking.
“Aw, what’s da maddew, Fwash?” I ask in a taunting, babying voice as he passes me. “Upset because a bunch of giwls beat you?”
He stops, whirling around glaring at me, only to freeze and wither slightly under the glare I switched to.
“Well, I guess now I understand why you act like things are fine between you and Twilight later on. You realize what a fucking asshole you are!”
He blinks, slight confusion entering his eyes. “Huh? I don’t...”
I lash out with an arm, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pull him close, snarling. “Maybe you realized that you were so heartless to Twilight for no reason, since you never even got to the finals to compete against her in the first place.”
I toss him back, causing him to stumble and fall, looking up at me.
I just snort. “Though maybe I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the reason you lost is because, deep down, the tiniest, itty bittiest part of you knew how horrible you’d been to Twilight was wrong and fought back, causing you to be that littlest bit distracted during your performance against the Dazzling, leading to your loss. Such a shame you don’t ever make it up to Twilight in the end.”
With that I storm off to wait with Sunset as the Rainbooms finish their performance, still so angry at Flash I don’t even pay attention to Rainbow’s ears until Sunset’s run out and tackled her.
As the girls head out to set up for practice for the finals, I hang back to catch up with Diamond and Silver.
As I expected, the small bit of protection I gave them helped them fight off the Dazzlings’ magic after they sang in the cafeteria. Oh, they still got affected by it, but the moment I arrived back here, the protection kicked in, snapping them out of it.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” Diamond says as the three of us walk down the halls, seeing all the arguing between the students.
“Yeah,” I say quietly, hugging myself. “And if not for the timeline needing to flow properly for Sunset’s sake, I’d just turn everyone back to normal right now and give the Dazzlings what they deserve.”
“Oh, you would now, would you?”
The three of us freeze in place, slowly turning to see the Dazzlings right behind us.
Sonata is just giving a normal smile, Aria is smirking, but Adagio is giving us a glare mixed with a confused expression. “You three seem unaffected by our spell like the rest of these humans. Care to explain?” the smile she gives us as she finishes that sentence causes a slight chill to run down my spine.
Quickly glancing around, I see that if it comes to a fist fight, there’s plenty of students around they could make attack us.
I decide to go for the quiet approach, folding my arms. “Gonna have us beaten up like you did Vice Principal Luna’s daughter?”
That causes confused looks to pass over all their faces. “Who?”
I blink. Wait. They didn’t know she was...? Right. Gonna file that away for later.
I just smirk. “Isn’t it obvious, Fish Girl?” Adagio’s right eyebrow twitches. Ooh. I hit a nerve there. Good to know. “I’ve magic too. I come from the Equestria, just like three. Only difference is I chose to come here instead of being booted out altogether like the cheap as bad buys you are.”
Okay. If there’s only one trait from Pony Spoiled I’m glad to share with her, it’s knowing how to get under someone else’s skin. Only difference, of course, is I do it to those who deserve it, not those I see as beneath me.
The look of pure outrage on Adagio’s face is priceless.
I smirk, giving a mocking little wave. “Buh-bye, now. Enjoy losing the competition and your powers.”
“Wait, what?”
With that, I grab Diamond and Silver’s hands and hightail it out of there, leaving those thoughts to fester in the Sirens’ minds.
As the night falls, I bring Diamond and Silver to the stage where the finals will be held.
I decide to sit with them, if only to make sure they aren’t effected due to the Dazzlings having more power by draining the magic from the girls due to their arguing.
As the performance starts, I already have a magical barrier around the three of us.
Once I hear the Rainbooms starting their song, I realize something very important. Leaving Diamond and Silver protected by my barrier, I snap my fingers, popping into the throne room of Canterlot Castle back in Equestria.
Celestia and the guards present are shocked by my sudden appearance.
“Yeah. Sorry. No time to explain. I need to borrow the princess for a moment,” I say to them, before grabbing said Sun Princess in my magic and teleporting us to the EQG world, switching her to a human form and giving her a long white dress to wear.
“I... what...? Where are...?” she stumbles for words, before noticing the group of girls on the hill.
I look to Celestia, my expression firm. “Celestia, what are you intentions for Sunset Shimmer? Do you want her to return to Equestria? Do you feel she doesn’t belong here and should come back to you?”
At once, Celestia looks heartbroken and turns away. “I don’t deserve to answer that question, Screwball. I failed Sunset as a mentor. I never even tried to have her found. I only kept the mirror close... before giving up and sending it to Cadance to watch over instead. Because of me, Sunset has no place to be. She doesn’t belong in Equestria anymore and she can’t have a life here.”
I glance over as Sunset starts walking towards Twilight and the others, carrying the microphone.
“I think what you see next might just change your mind there, Princess?”
Celestia turns around as Sunset starts to sing. We watch as she glows with a red aura, before Ponying Up like the others. I Pony Up again too, oddly enough. Eh. Chaos. Not gonna question logic here.
We watch as the girls all harmonize, their magic reaching into the sky, before forming into the Giant Rainbow Alicorn.
I look to Celestia and can’t help but burst out laughing at the slack jawed expression on her face.
After the Rainboomicorn blasts the Dazzlings, Celestia looks to me with tears in her eyes, but a smile on her face. “Send me home, Screwball. I may have failed, but I’m glad Twilight has helped Sunset find her place.”
I have a feeling there’s more to that, but I do have other matters to attend to, so I nod, snapping my fingers, causing Celestia to vanish as she’s returned to Equestria and her equine form.
As the Dazzlings are booed off the stage, my expression turns cold and I snap my fingers. This has been a long time coming.
The three Sirens hurried off the stage, running away from the area.
However, they’d barely gotten a block away, before a wall seemed to burst from the ground before them, causing them all to halt in their tracks.
“What in the...?” Aria asked, before a cold wind blew, causing them all to shiver. Their outfits might have been great for a performance, but were terrible for keeping them warm.
“Well, well, well,” a voice said from all around them, sounding both cold and cheery at the same time, an unsettling sound. “What do we have here? Three little evil Sirens without their magic. I hope you don’t think this is as bad as it gets...”
There was a flash, cuasing them all to jump. From within the flash, they could make out the sillohete of someone. As the light faded, they recognised the person. It was that girl from Canterlot High who’d been able to resist their magic like the Rainbooms had.
However, she was wearing a chilling expression. It was a mixture of rage... and sadistic glee.
“Because, I can assure you all, your karma hasn’t even begun to come back at you,” she gave a light giggle that sent chills down their spines.
Adagio was the first to recover, putting on a calm facade. “Oh, really? I doubt your Equestrian Magic could harm us in any way, little girl.”
The girl just chuckled. “Whoever said I have Equestrian Magic?”
She snapped her fingers and suddenly all three girls were butt naked.
They screamed, trying desperately to cover themselves.
The girl just laughed. “Name’s Screwball. And you’re lucky it’s me and not my daddy. I’ve far more restrain than him,” she glared, “though in this case, I might just let loose more than usual.”
Adagio glared at the girl, before she noticed something she hadn’t back at the school. The girl’s eyes, they had no pupils. They were just purple spirals.
Why...? Why was that familiar to here? And why did it remind her of their current nakedness and cause fear to well up inside her.
“Ya know, I was originally going to just leave you three be,” they all yelped, turning around to find this Screwball was now sitting atop a nearby lamppost, swinging her legs back and forth. She then looked down at them, her eyes cold. “But, after you put Vice Pincpial Luna’s daughter in the hospital, close to death, I think I’ll be having a bit more... darker fun with you three.”
“Huh?” Sonata asked shakily, looking from Screwball to her fellow Sirens. “What’s she talking about? We never put anyone in hospital before.” She gulped. “A-and what does she mean “close to death”? We’ve never killed anyone.”
Screwball just snarled, snapping her fingers and reappearing right in front of the trio. “Let me refresh you memories, then, shall I? Black skin, turquoise eyes? Beaten up by a gang? Any of this a ringin’ a bell?”
Sonata blinked, before her eyes widened slightly in recognition, before her mouth opened in horror. “What? Why did she almost die? We didn’t do anything that bad to her.” she looked to Adagio. “We just had those nice big men teach her a lesson, right?”
Screwball blinked, before looking to Sonata, though not with anger, but slightly confusion. “When you say “teach her a lesson”, what do you mean?”
Sonata just shrugged as she continued to try covering herself. “Adagio just said she’d never treat others badly again.”
Screwball turned her attention to Adagio, her glare returning. “So, as far as you know, Sonata, Dagi here just had those men talk to that girl?”
“Uh-huh.”
Screwball glared into the lead Siren’s eyes for several long moments, before speaking again. “Those men almost killed her, Sonata. If not for my magic, she’d be dead.”
Sonata stared for several moments, before her body went cold for reasons beyond being naked outside. “D-d-d-d-d-dead?”
“It would’ve served her right,” Adagio snarled, looking to the youngest Siren. “She humiliated us!”
“No, she didn’t.” They all looked to Screwball, who had fixed Adagio with the most hate-filled stare any of the three had ever seen. “I did and changed your memories to help preserve the timeline. had I known what you’d do, however, I’d have just wiped your minds clean of it and left it as a horrible nightmare.” She clenched her fists. “Now, you will wish it was, Adagio Dazzle, because I’m going to make your life a living nightmare.”
“Wait. What about us?” Sonata shuddered as the girl turned to look at her, though calmed slightly due to the lack of hate in the stare aimed at you.
“From how you spoke, it’s clear you had no idea just what Adagio had those thugs do to her,” she said, her voice still firm, but gentler. “For that, I’ll be sparing you, Sonata.”
“And what about me?” Aria asked, before flinching as she was put under a far colder glare.
“Did you feel bad about what happened to the girl?” Screwball asked, her tone implying Aria be very careful with her next answer.
“Well, I knew she’d been ruffed up, but close to death?” Aria turned and gave a stern glare to their leader. “Seriously, Adagio? That’s just fucked up. Yeah, we thought she’d done that stuff to us, but to have her almost murdered for it? What the fuck?”
Screwballl studied Aria for several long minutes, causing the Siren to fear for her life, before speaking. “Well, it seems you’re speaking the truth, Aria. Much as you enjoy being horrible to others, including Sonata, the idea of murder does disgust and horrify you. While I won’t be as lenient with you as I will Sonata, you’re saved from my full wrath.”
“What?!” Adagio snarled, taking a step forward, her pride momentarily blindly her sense of logic. “You’re sparing these idots and only punishing me?! How is that fair at—?”
She was cute off as a mouth gag suddenly appeared in her mouth. It was one that kept the mouth open. At once, she tried to rip it out her mouth, yet no matter how hard she tried, it was like it was glued there.
Suddenly, her body was held in a magical aura and she levitated a few millimetres off the ground.
Screwball glared with pure hate and glee at the yellow human, her smile sending fear throughout the three Sirens. “They’re getting a pass because they show remorse for their actions, even if Aria’s isn’t anywhere near as much as Sonata’s.”
“Hey!” Aria said indignantly.
“And Sonata seems to have no really understood just how horrible the things you three have been doing,” Screwball gave a stern glare to Aria, “and Aria will be sure to explain all the reasons later, correct?”
The girl in question nodded, keeping her mouth shut.
Screwball turned back to Adagio, her smile sinister. “You, on the other hand, Adagio Dazzle, clearly care not for the pain and misery you’ve caused over your long lives. You’re even proud of it. Well, we’ll see if my personal brand of reformation, designed solely for a Siren trapped in a human’s body, will change all that.”
The predatory grin she gave Adagio caused the Siren to feel compelte and utter fear, renewing her in vain struggle against the magic holding her.
“As for you two,” Screwball turned to the other Sirens and snapped her fingers, their attire from before the finals appearing over them, “leave Canterlot and never return. I know you’ve a large portion of money saved up from over the long years you’ve lived in this world. Use that to get a three-person house. That way, if you feel you can trust her, you can let Adagio return to live with you once I’m finished with her. I’ll be by every couple days to make sure things are going well, got it?”
They both nodded frantically, too afraid to speak.
Screwball nodded back, before returning her attention to Adagio and licking her lips. “This is going to be so much fun... for me.”
Then she did something that made all three Sirens what to hurl. She literally pulled the top of her head off, revealing her brain, which was pulsing and surrounded by what looked like swirling galaxies.
“In ya go, Dagi,” she said with way to much cheer.
Sonata and Aria could only watch as a wind seemed to suck Adagio into Screwball’s brain, like how that boy got sucked into that game in the movie Jumaneji, her screams being cut off when Screwbll reattached the top of her head.
She looked to the remaining to Sirens, smiled, gave a small wave, and vanished in a blinding flash of light. Aria and Sonata looked to each other, both still very shaken by what they’d just been through.
After a few moments, Aria walked up to Sonata and put a hand on her shoulder. She gulped. “L-let’s get going, okay, Sonata? Let’s start a better life.”
The blue Siren-turned-humane nodded fearfully and they both hurried off to the flat the three had been staying in, ready to leave this experience far behind them.
“Sure wish you could stay longer,” Applejack says as the lot of us are gathered around the statue late the next morning.
“Me too, but I have responsibilities in Equestria I have to get back to,” Twilight says, not noticing Pinkie come up behind her, stuck her head in through the portal, then pull back out with a googley-eyed expression. “It’s citizens need me. But now, I can go through the portal whenever I need to. This isn’t goodbye,” she smiles, “it’s just goodbye til next time.”
“Which for me is pretty much whenever now,” I smirk, my hands behind my head.
“Huh?” they all ask, looking to me with confusion.
I give them all an odd look, folding my arms. “What? None of you have realized it yet? I’m a being of Chaos, for crying out loud.”
Several moments go by, before Twilight’s eyes widen, before she narrows them at me, saying in a deadpan, “You’ve been able to come here since the first time we went through the mirror, haven’t you?”
I snicker. “Just since then? Twilight, I’ve been coming to and from this world since the day you guys first beat Discord.”
Twilight’s eyebrow twitches. “What?!”
I chuckle. “Again, being of Chaos, Twilight. If Discord has his own dimension he travels to where he lives, why can’t I travel to and from this world and Equestria at will, hmm?”
Twilight’s face starts turning red. “All this time? You’ve been coming to and from this world all this time and NEVER THOUGHT TO TELL ME?!”
I shrug. “Didn’t seem important at the time.”
Twilight gave a loud, exasperated groan as she face palms. “You are just like your father. Anything else you wanna tell me you’ve been hiding?”
I pretend to be thinking about it, with the fakest innocent smile on my face. “Hmm. Can’t think of anything.”
The others can’t help but giggle, Spike included.
Twilight takes several deep breaths, before sighing and looking down at Spike. “Ready?”
He nods, smiling. “Ready.”
She gives me a deadpan stare. “Ready?”
I make a show of thinking about it, before shaking my head. “I think I’ll hang around a little longer. Don’t worry, I’ll be back in time.”
She cocks an eyebrow, whether in frustration, worry or curiosity, I can’t say. “In time for... what?”
I giggle, saying in sing-song, “You’ll see.”
“Great,” she grumbles, before heading through the portal, Spike following right after.
“I’m gonna go hang with Diamond and Silver, kay?” I ask the others, teleporting away before they can answer.
“O-on second thought... maybe I’d better go with them,” Fluttery says, retreating from being subjected to Spike and Big Mac’s plans to banter away about Hoofball. “In case they... need me.”
“Looks like it’s a road trip,” Twilight says, walking over to where Dash and Shy are.
“Count me in too!” I cheer, causing all seven in the room to jump.
“Screwball?” Twilight cocks and eyebrow, before shaking her head. “I don’t think you need to come yourself. Only our Cutie Marks are on the map,” she indactes to where the six marks are hovering.
I blow a raspberry, waving her reason away. “Since when have I needed permission to do stuff out of the norm?”
“Uh...” Twilight opens her mouth, but then closes it, frowning.
“She’s got ya there, Sugarcube,” Applejack agrees. “What harm could happen? She’s got powers like Discord. Nuthin’ could stop her.”
I smirk at the Alicorn, who rolls her eyes.
A few hours later, we travel by train and reach the area just outside of Starlight Glimmer’s village.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit unsure about that pony. I never did get to watch the season 5 finale, so I’ve no idea whether Starlight plays a part in that or not, nor just what she’d do during it’s events.
Then again, maybe it won’t be Starlight at all. Maybe it’ll be the Changelings. After all, I’ve still no idea where Queen Cheese Legs went after she took the majority of her hive out of the Empire while Twilight and I were in the human world for the events of the first Equestria Girls movie.
Maybe she’ll be back. Don’t understand why she’d risk it, though. She knows damn well that I’ll be out to get her once I find her and I’ll use every bit of my Chaos to make her existence miserable. Just ask Adagio Dazzle.
Anyway, we head done, myself deciding I’ll play up being a normal Earth Pony for now and walking alongside the rest of the group. After all, if I wanna surprise Starlight at one point, should it be needed, she’ll be far less wary of me if I don’t show I posses unique powers already that could easily trump her plans.
Though, I’m not going to lie. You think it’s creepy watching all these towns ponies saying “Welcome” with those smiles in the show? Experiencing for real is WAY more unsettling.
We get led to Starlight’s house and I notice something I hadn’t before. When she talks about being happy to have us... it sounds like she’s saying right away that, doesn’t matter whatever other reason we came, we could’ve been visiting a friend for all she knew, but now that we were here, without any question, we wanted to join their village.
Okay, that is an ego centred thought that I doubt even Spoiled would have. Oh, yeah. I just compared Spoiled, the mare I hate with all my guts, as being better in an emotional aspect than another pony. That’s pretty bad.
Though I find myself subconscious was being a bit active. When Applejack says, “Say what?” in a deadpan after Starlight talks about “true friendship”, a big red flashing light appears atop her hat, the words Bullshit Detector written in white letters underneath.
“Hey, I wondered where that went,” Pinkie says, grabbing it off AJ’s hat and it disappearing into her mane.
...
Nope. Not going to bother questioning that. Not even going to try.
After Starlight gets the town to sing, which, by the way, the lyrics are far more unsettling to hear in person than watching or listening to it from seeing it as a fictional perspective, we all head around the village.
When we get to Sugar Belle’s bakery, we all sit down, myself plopping between Applejack and Fluttershy.
“If we’re going to get to the bottom of why the map sent us here, we’ll need the help of these ponies,” Twilight says, myself taking notice of Sugar Belle coming out from her bakery to speak with us.
Wait. Wasn’t she just over there with Diamond Double? How did she get back into her bakery without passing us?
I glance over to the white stallion and... he’s the only pony there.
O....kay. little weirded out here. Yeah, I’m the one weirded out, the pony with freaking Chaos Magic.
“Is your friendship ending?”
Sugar Belle’s question pulls me from my train of thought and I look to her with a deadpan, while saying sarcastically, “Oh yeah. We’re having one tiny disagreement and now a friendship that has been solidified for over a year is suddenly gone if a puff of smoke.” I roll my eyes. Yeesh.
“Are you crazy?!” Pinkie cheers, cutting off whatever the other mare was going to say. “We’d let a disagreement get in the way of food!”
Sugar Belle takes the order for fourteen muffins (one for each of us and the extra seven strictly for Pinkie because she’s so hungry) and heads back inside.
“Come on, girls,” Twilight says, looking to all of us. “We’ve gotta stick together. It doesn’t matter what happened before, we’re here now.”
Applejack gives a light sigh. “Ah guess yer right. and the sooner we figure out why, the sooner we can go home.”
The others all murmur in agreement as Sugar Belle puts at plate stacked with muffins in the centre of the table.
“Forgive me for overhearing, but just a moment ago you were disagreeing,” she says, looking confused, “and now it sounds like you’re... agreeing?”
“Uh-huh,” AJ deadpans.
“Well, it’s just you had such differing opinions,” Sugar Belle says, looking uncertain, “and Cutie Marks.”
I narrow my eyes playfully, though to her it probably looked serious. “You got a problem with others having different Cutie Marks? Doesn’t sound very understanding to me.”
“We have differing opinions all the time, darling,” Rarity chuckles.
“But... you look like you’re friends,” Sugar Belle says and you can tell from her expression her brain isn’t comprehending the situation.
“Yeah,” I say, folding my forelegs. “Foals disagree with their parents all the time, but it doesn’t stop them caring about each other. It’s just what happens.”
“I’m sorry, I’m just having a hard time understanding,” Sugar Belle says with a strained smile, before going into a deadpanned expression. “Different talents lead to different opinions, which leads to bitterness and misery.” Her expression turns to a small confused smile. “So, why aren’t you bitter and—?”
Pinkie hacks up the bite of muffin she’d taken, interrupting Sugar Belle.
They talk a bit more, Sugar Belle mentions about not being any better at baking than anypony else in the village, which actually makes me frown as something occurs to me.
Starlight took Sugar Belle’s talent for baking away... yet made her the town baker. That... that’s just so stupid, I don’t even know where to begin picking apart the holes in that logic.
Sugar Belle whispers for us to come inside before we go and rushes into her bakery.
Actually, that there says something. Starlight seems to be the only one who clearly thinks we intend to stay, as Sugar Belle just asked us to come into her bakery before we leave.
Then again, she could’ve just meant before we left her bakery.
We all speak quietly about how we’ll go inside to see what Sugar Belle wanted to talk about. When AJ’s says Pinkie has to eat all those horrible muffins, I give the farm mare a small glare, before looking to the muffins.
“There, better,” I say, the briefest of flashes, too small for anypony save us at the table to notice. “Pinkie, you’ll be able to enjoy them now.” I’m not letting Pinkie force herself to eat all these things, considering in the episode she said she’d accidentally eaten cardboard that was tastier.
Pinkie looks anxiously at me, then down at the muffins, gulps and leans forward, taking a bit. A second later, her eyes light up and she opens her mouth wide, pretty much inhaling the rest, chewing away with happy murmurs.
The others all look to me.
“What did you make them taste like?” Rainbow asks uncertainly.
I shrug. “You’d be surprised what Pinkie can enjoy. Let’s just leave it at that.”
After that we head into the bakery and Sugar Belle, Night Glider and Party Favour tells us about how they miss having their marks, as well as about where the marks are kept and The Staff of Sameness.
I do find myself deadpanning. Really, Starlight couldn’t have thought of a better sounding name? Staff of Equalization, Staff of Uniformity, Staff of Similarity, so many other names that actually sound like something an ancient mage would name a magical item... and yet she chooses a name that sounds like something a foal would use when playing make-believe and couldn’t think of anything else? The more I think about it, she can’t be the bad guy in the finale’s events, right? She’s too stupid.
We get led to the vault and there’s definitely something unnerving about seeing all those Cutie Marks there.
Not to mention, I can sense magic in the stones of this cave. Is that how Starlight is able to keep the Cutie Marks trapped within, she’s using the stones’ natural magic to hold them?
“Well, it seems you inspire all kinds of free-thinking,” Starlight says, before narrowing her eyes, “don’t you?”
Rarity chuckles nervously. “Oh, well we certainly didn’t intent to cause any disruptions to your—”
“Good!” Starlight leers at us, Double Diamond coming up behind Rarity to stop her from being able to back away. “Let’s just make sure of that.”
I glare. “What? Our word isn’t good enough for ya, ya self-centre bitch?!” Whoops.
The other ponies of the village start surrounding us and Twilight does the Star Wars line.
I prepare to use my magic to stop all this, since I don’t feel anything holding me back, so I’m allowed to stop this, but suddenly find somepony has jumped forward and pinned me down.
In doing so, they accidently bash my head against the rocky ground, causing everything to blur.
“In sameness, there is peace. Exceptionalism is a lie. Free yourself from your Cutie Mark.”
When I was able to recover my senses, we were already inside the room Starlight uses to brain wash ponies into believing her bullshit ideals and all our Cutie Marks are gone.
At first, I freaked out, but then realized was fine, even though my Cutie Mark is gone. No idea why that is, but it seems to be the case. I do feel weird though. Like I’m drained, but not drained.
Still, being branded with this mark means I’m stuck waiting out the events, as irritating as that is.
“Choose equality as your special talent.”
But nowhere near as irritating as having to hear that damn propaganda!
“ARGH!” I yell, having been laying on my stomach with my hooves over my ears for the last five minutes. “I wish she’d just shut up, already! I’d rather listen to anything but this!”
“To excel is to fai—” the sound of a record scratch interrupts Starlight’s next lines.
“I’m feeling like a star, You can’t stop my shine. I’m lovin’ Cloud City, My head’s in the sky.
I’m solo, I’m Han Solo. I’m Han Solo. I’m Han Solo, Solo.
Yeah, I’m feelin’ good tonight, Finally feelin’ free and it feels so right, oh. Time to do the things I like, Gonna see a Princess, everything’s all right, oh. No Jabba to answer to, Ain’t a fixture in the palace zoo, no. And since that carbonite’s off me, I’m livin’ life now that I’m free, yeah.”
My eyes open and I star up at the speaker phone on the ceiling, blinking.
The others are also staring in confusion at the device, before they all slowly look towards me.
“Screwball wanted something else to play...” Fluttershy says slowly.
“And the moment she said it, Starlight propaganda turned into... um...” Twilight looks up again in confused, “very unusual song.”
“It’s a fun song,” I pout, crossing my forelegs. “Sure, it’s not great, but it’s a good laugh. Wait, a second.” I blink, before looking back at the speaker, then at the others, uncross my legs and look down at my hooves, before a big grin spread across my face. “Of course! I can still use my magic because I wasn’t completely cut off from it.”
“But... I don’t understand,” Rarity looks around the group. “When Tirek took our magic our Cutie Marks disappeared and we couldn’t use any magic at all. How come Screwball can still use her magic.”
“Wait. That’s it!” Twilight cries, a smile forming. “The unicorns around here can still use their magic and the pegasi can still fly.”
“And the Earth Ponies must be able t’ grow the food this town needs to stay fed,” Applejack nods.
“So, despite Starlight taking our Cutie Marks, we might still have a chance,” Dash yells, punching a hoof in the air. “Screwball can just poof our marks back and we’ll be outta here!”
We all jump when a loud horn blares. It takes a second, but I realize it’s that sound that came when I first tried to go back to Earth.
Without my even trying, a small watch appears before me. I catch it before it falls and I look it over. It looks like a watch, but it’s like that one from the Santa Claus 2, where it tells how much magic Santa had left before he ran out.
Currently, the hand is pointing at eight.
“Seems, while I do have access to my Chaos Magic, it’s limited without my Cutie Mark,” I say, showing the watch to the others. “If we’re gonna use my magic to get out of here, we’re going to have to be smart about this.”
“Hmm,” Twilight frowns, rubbing her chin with a hoof. “Screwball is the youngest of us, so she might be able to convince Starlight that she believes her ideals.”
“The fact that Starlight is willing to put a foal through what she’s doing to us is deplorable,” Rarity huffs.
“Yeah. But her doing it to adult ponies is perfectly fine,” Dash deadpans.
“You know that’s not what I meant, Rainbow Dash,” the alabaster mare retorts.
“Girls, focus!” I call, causing them all to stop and turn to me as I look back with a smirk. “Don’t worry about a thing. I got this covered now. I have just the plan to expose Starlight for the fraud she is and get our marks back.”
Dash cocks an eyebrow. “Fraud? What’re you talking about, Screws?”
I snicker. “Let’s just say little miss Equality isn’t being completely honest with everypony in this village.”
“How?” Twilight cocks an eyebrow.
I just grin, walking over to join Pinkie, who’s been spending all the time we’ve been chatting dancing to the music. “You’ll just have to wait til tomorrow morning, Twily.”
She deadpans.
We spend the night much better off than had we not realized I could still faintly use my magic. sure, it got a little annoying hearing I’m Han Solo on a constant loop, but it was better than Starlight’s Equality propaganda.
Come morning we’re woken up by the music cutting out, replaced with Starlight’s voice. “Oh, good morning~”
The door opens and she walks in.
“I trust you had a pleasant night?” she asks with a bit of sneer hidden within her smile.
You’ve no idea, Starbutt, since we didn’t have to listen to you all night long.
She turns, indicating outside. “This way, please. There are some friends that would to see you.”
I almost can’t hold back my snicker. This is going to be fun.
We all walk out to meet with the towns ponies.
“Gather round, friends. Gather round.” Starlight calls out as everypony comes closer. “We’ve come to see if you are ready to join us,” she addresses us. “There are so many friend to be made once you realize you don’t need your Cutie Marks, or the talents that come with them.”
“I don’t give a flying fuck if I need my Cutie Mark or not!” I snarl, causing eveyrpony to take a step back at the venom in my voice. “You took them away without giving us the chance to decide that for ourselves!” I look out at the ponies gathered. “Tell me, in honesty, who here accepted being a part of this village before Starlight took their Cutie Mark away?”
There’s silence as each pony looks to one another, seeming surprised they’d never thought about it that way.
Starlight gives a laugh that sounds so forced even a deaf person would say, they hear it. “That doesn’t really matter, little one,” she comes closer and I see a hint of anger flash in her eyes. “What matters is we’re all willing to be here now.”
“Actually, it’s a very interesting thing to bring up,” I smirk. “See, you didn’t actually try to see if we wanted to give up our marks until you took them away. So, here’s my question, if we don’t want to be here, are we allowed to take our marks and go?” I deadpan. “Or will you just force us to remain in that shack forever.”
I see a small bead a sweat form on Starlight’s forehead. Good. I’m getting to her. Keep her focused on me and me alone and the fun will go without interruption.
“No. You only have to remain in there until you accept our ideals,” she smiles, though it is faltering ever so slightly. Clearly, she did not anticipate this kind of reaction.
I rub my hoof against my chest. “So, forever then, since I can promise you the seven of us have no intention of staying. Plus,” I look at her with narrowed eyes, “We all have families in our hometown, and I’m just a filly. My daddy and big sister would be heartbroken if they never saw me again because I simply vanished after staying here. Would I be allowed to send a letter to them, or would you keep a child from her family by force? Because, that would mean you are preventing me from being with my family, while other ponies in this town are allowed to be with them. In that sense, if I stayed, I wouldn’t be equal to everypony else in this town, because I wouldn’t be allowed to be with my family.”
That causes slight uncertain murmuring to occur among the gathered ponies.
Starlight glances left and right, giving a shaky laugh. “O-of course not. You’re family can just move here too.”
I smirk. And she’s mine. “So, I can send them a letter to invite them here.”
“Oh, no,” she says flatly, shaking her head. “That can’t happen.”
I frown in confusion, though it’s only an act, but got to play up the part of an innocent, naïve foal. “But, I can still leave once I decide to live here so I can go get them, right?”
Starlight shakes her head. “No, once you choose to stay you... can’t go to get them...” she trails off, seeming to realize too late the flaw in that logic.
“So, let me see if I have this straight,” I say. “If I choose to stay, you will keep me from being able to be with my family, even though you say I’m allowed to have my family so I can be equal to everypony else, but everypony else gets to be with their families except for me, meaning I don’t get to have something everypony else does, thus making myself unequal to every other member of the town.”
I see in my peripheral vision that Dash, AJ, Twilight and Rarity are enjoying seeing as Starlight desperately backpedals, trying to figure out how to make things work with the argument I’ve given her.
After several long moments, I decide to end that bit of her suffering by switching to another topic she won’t enjoy.
“So, just to be clear, every single pony in this town has the same Cutie Mark? Nopony has a different one; they’re all in the vault?”
That seems to calm her down and she smiles, nodding. “Yes. Every single pony has given up their Cutie Mark, which now rests in the vault.”
I smirk, addressing the ponies themselves. “So... does anypony know which of those Cutie Marks is Starlight’s?”
At once, Starlight pales and I love it.
All the other ponies look like they’re about to answer me, before glancing around at each other in confusion.
“We were told you’re all allowed to go back up there to look at your marks and remind yourselves why you gave them up,” I say nonchalantly, relishing the fear and frustration on Starlight face, “so, the earliest of you all must have seen Starlight’s Cutie Mark. What does it look like?”
“This is my Cutie Mark!” Starlight blurts out in fear, indicating to the equal mark on her flank.
Twilight seems to catch on and gives a mocking confused frown. “What? But I thought you said it was Mage Meadowbrook’s staff that gave those marks? How is that your Cutie Mark if you needed to use the staff on yourself to get it?”
Starlight’s anxiety is so fun to watch as the murmurs grow stronger. “It is. I mean, I did. I gave up my mark by using the staff.”
“But, if you gave up your mark using the staff, how is that your Cutie Mark that you gave up?” Fluttershy asks, more out of curiosity than joining in with my plan.
Starlight just looks around, her panic clearly rising as the ponies behind her start doubting her story.
“Okay. Time to end her suffering,” I say after several more moments, smirking. “You’ve already got a dark cloud hanging over your head, why keep going?”
Starlight blinks and looks up and, indeed, there is a dark rain cloud hovering above her head and, before she can do more than acknowledge this, a torrent of water pours down from it as if a bucket was upended.
When it stops, she’s soaking wet. But... that’s not the only thing that’s change.
There’s a collective gasp from the towns ponies. Starlight turns, asking, “What’s wrong?” before her eyes widen as her real Cutie Mark is exposed to them all.
She looks around in, her panic returning fall force.
“Wh-what are you looking at? They’re the problem, not me!” she says, indicating to us.
“Wow. You get exposed, so you try and blame a filly,” I deadpan. “Real mature there, Glimmer.”
“How could you?” Party Favour asks from the back of the crowd.
“You said Cutie Marks were evil!” Double Diamond says, sounding close to sobbing. “You said special talents led to pain and heartache!”
“They do,” Starlight tries desperately. “Don’t you see? Look at them.” she indicates to us, where I’m doing a little dance, Pinkie joining in.
“Oh yeah,” Dash smirks, crossing her forelegs. “They totally look like they’re suffering pain and heartache.”
“Then why?” Sugar Belle walks up to Starlight. “Why did you take ours and give up your own?”
“I can answer that, quite easily,” I stop my little dance and smirk. “You see, Starlight’s special talent is related to magic and spell crafting. If she gave that up, she wouldn’t be able to cast the spell needed to take her own Cutie Mark away in the first place.”
“But the staff has all the magic we need!” Night Glider says in confusion.
I heartily laugh. “That’s the best part. The oh so great Staff of Sameness, is just a stick she found while wandering the desert.”
“Wh-what does it matter?!” Starlight glares at me, before looking to the other ponies. “It's my magic that makes all this possible! You'd all still be living your miserable lives thinking you're better than everypony else if it weren't for my magical abilities! I brought you friendship! I brought you equality! I created harmony!”
“See, that’s where you’re wrong, Glim Glam,” I snicker, before looking out at the ponies. “Did any of you ever think of yourselves as better than others, simply because of your talent?”
Uncertain looks pass over them all, before Double Diamond looks firmly at Starlight. “You lied to us!”
Starlight gives a strained smiles. “So what? E-Everything else I said is true! The only way to be happy is if we're all equal!”
“Except for you,” Party glares.
Starlight turns around, her horn lighting up as she glares... and I hear the sound Spring Trap makes when he catches you in Five Night’s at Freddy’s 3? What?
“Everypony has unique talents and gifts,” Twilight begins, taking a step forward, “and when we share them with each other, that's how rea—”
“QUIET!” Starlight yells, whirling around to glare at the Alicorn, which does shut her up and causes me to giggle.
“You can't have a cutie mark, Starlight!” Sugar Belle says firmly. “Either we're all equal, or none of us are!”
Everypony gathers closer, standing up to Starlight. She looks around, finding no exit, then gives a flash with her horn, causing a barrier to form and shove us all aside and runs off into her house, closing the door behind her.
“Come on!” Double Diamond calls out. “Let's get our cutie marks back!”
We all cheer, “Yeah!” and hurry along after him, heading for the cave where the vault is.
Thankfully, since I know Starlight doesn’t take the Mane 6 (and by default now, my) Cutie Marks out of the vault til the very evening, I know ours are there too.
Sure enough, every single Cutie Mark is there, even the seven most recent additions.
The ponies of the town run up and start hitting it, but they’re not doing much.
“A-hem!” they all stop as I walk towards it, grinning. “Glad I still have enough for a little fun.”
“Step back, everypony,” Twilight calls to the rest of the gathered group. “Screwball can do this, but I’d advise getting out of the way.”
They do so, leaving me standing in front of the glowing Cutie Mark Tetris before me.
I spit into my front hooves and rub them together, before holding my legs up and swinging them in an arch.
At once, a large chuck of the cave lower ceiling breaks off and goes flying at the vault, smashing it and sending every Cutie Mark flying.
As mine returns, I feel a rush of energy flood my being. Once I feel everything is back to its abnormal normal way with me, I float up into the air.
With that, I turn and notice the Mane 6 aren’t around.
I roll my eyes, teleporting to their location, to find their following the path Starlight goes down to escape.
I decide to follow, up until Starlight’s about to enter the cave, before I teleport a large amount of snow on top of her.
She pops out, sees the others and fires a blast of magic at them, but, Twilight having gotten her mark back during the chase, teleports in front of everypony, creating a shield just like the one Starlight used, stopping the spell from making contact.
Starlight stares in disbelief. “Wh– I studied that spell for years! How can you—?”
Twilight shakes her head. “I studied magic for years too! But what I didn't know then was that studying could only take me so far. Each of my friends has taught me something different about myself!” She indicates to them, as Party Favour, Night Glider and Double Diamond start coming within range. “It was their unique gifts and passions and personalities that helped bring out the magic inside of me! I never would have learned that I represent the element of magic without these five! And I certainly wouldn't be here to stop you now!”
Starlight rolls her eyes. “Spare me your sentimental nonsense! I gave these ponies real friendships they never could've had otherwise!”
“How do you know that?!” Double Diamond growls. “You never even gave us a chance!”
Starlight glares, her horn flaring. When the light fades, she’s gone.
“She's getting away!” Dash shouts.
“We'll never find her in there!” Double Diamond shakes his head.
“Well, I probably could,” I shrug, “but I don’t see a point. Her plans are ruined, plus, it’s not like she’s really all that smart. A lot of her plans her kinda proven pretty dumb. I doubt she’d be able to do anything that will be a real problem.”
Twilight shakes her head. “We just have to hope that when she's had a chance to think it over, she realizes that you all have taught her something.”
With that and a few more talks, we head back to the village and celebrate.
Once the party ends, we all head back to the train tracks and wait for the train. It arrives several minutes after we get there, so we board and all sit down in our sits.
I could just teleport back to Ponyville, but I think a train ride will relax me,
Well, Starlight is dealt with and things in that village should be fine from now on. I can’t help but wonder where Starlight went. Did she go back to where she was born? Will she get lost in those caves? Will she eventually return to the village, having actually realized her mistake and be reformed?
Ah, whatever. Either way, I know I won’t have to worry about her being a problem ever again. She may be very magically gifted, but it’s not like she’ll, I dunno, put the entire Space Time Continuum at risk or anything, right?
With that reassure thought, I close my eyes and decide to take a nap for the ride back, glad that soon, I will be able to deal with Spoiled once and for all.
Keep Daddy D From Doing Something Stupid? You Realize What You’re asking, Right?
I lazily lift my head from my Past Sins book to see Spoiled standing in the middle of the living room doorway.
“You’re going to have to be a bit more specific there, Spoiled,” I roll my eyes. “I may be a being of chaos, but I’m not a mind-reader.” Not that your mind is worth reading in the first place.
She stomps up to me and points an accusatory hoof in my face. “Why are you not taking me?”
I slightly raise an eyebrow. “Huh?”
“To the Gala!” she shouts, her nostrils flaring. “Why the princess is inviting you in the first place is beyond logical thinking, but the fact you’re not taking me as your plus one, me, of all ponies?!”
Oh. I deadpan. A few days ago I received an invite from Princess Celestia to this year’s Grand Galloping Gala... and it seems, despite all the shit she’s done, Spoiled thinks I’d honestly intend to bring her along as my plus one instead of who I’ve chosen.
“So, let me see if I understand this right,” I say slowly, teleporting my book back to my room in a puff of pink smoke, “despite the fact that I know for a damn fact that you were fully willing to leave me locked in the hospital without being cured, tried to hide my existence from the world, have treated me like a possession rather than your own flesh and blood, not to mention tried to get rid of me several times and even said you were willing to try and get the princesses to turn me to stone simply for not obeying every stupid little thing you expect of me, you honestly think you have the right to expect me to bring you as my plus one, or that I’d even want you to be my plus one in the first place?”
She nods, firmly. “Yes!”
I just stare at her for several long moments.
“How did Grandma and Grandpa fuck up with you so bad?”
Her right eye twitches. “Excuse me?!”
I float up into the air, my foreleg folded. “I’ve already made my choice, Spoiled and you’re not, nor will you ever be, it. You don’t always get what you want out of life. Deal with it.”
With that, I teleport away to Sugarcube Corner... only to find a massive number boxes stacked all throughout the place.
Looking around, it takes a second for it to click and I facehoof. Okay. Seems that episode’s events have started. Would explain why the bitch chose now to demand I take her.
I look to Pinkie, who has an expression of frustration and disappointment of her face.
Oh, right. She was exicted about Discord placing an order for all the cakes, but then cancelling it.
I blink, before smirking. I know a way to solve Pinkie’s problem and have a bit of amusement at the same time, as well as do some good.
“Don’t worry about it, Pinkie,” I float over to her, grinning. “That order will still be valid.”
She blinks, cocking her head in confusion. “How? Discord cancelled his order.”
“And now my Mommy Dearest will take it instead,” I grin, a check appearing before Pinkie. “Take that to the bank and you’ll be able to get your payment. As for these,” I nod towards the boxes of cakes, which vanish in a flash of white light, “I’ll give them to orphanages, homeless shelters and maybe keep a few for my family.”
Pinkie cocks her head. “Homeless shelters. But, we don’t have those in Equestria.”
I shrug. “They do in the human world. I’m sure the other you will know what to do.”
She blinks, before grinning and nods, grabbing the check and bounding out the door.
With that taken care of, I float out of the bakery to see as Discord teleports away from Fluttershy and Tree Hugger.
Hoh, boy. This could be awkward.
Deciding to try and get him calmed down a bit, I teleport to DD’s dimension, knocking on the door.
There’s a pause, before he opens it. He looks surprised for a moment, before grinning and pulling me into a big hug.
“He-llo, my little Screwy!” he cheers, before holding me outstretched, grinning. “You have a ticket for the Gala, don’t you?”
Whoops. Should’ve seen that coming. This is going to be even more awkward than I thought.
“Um... yeah,” I say, rubbing the back of my neck nervously. “But, you see, I’ve already asked Diamond to be my plus one, so...”
His expression sours and he lets go, before turning back inside. If not for my ability to defy gravity at will, I’d have flopped to the ground.
“Look, DD,” I say, floating in after him, just phasing throught the door when he closes it in my face, “you can’t blame or be mad at anypony for not inviting you as their plus one. One, you didn’t give any indication you were interested until today and two, you’re invite is just late.”
He gives me a look as I look around, noticing I got here after he increased the number of dust bunnies under the furniture and dirtied the windows and the dishes. “And just how would you know that, daughter of mine?”
As if on cue, a cry of alarm comes from outside.
I point a hoof over my shoulder at the door, a deadpan expression on my face.
We teleport outside to see the mail pony with the snap with a heart Cutie Mark floating uncontrollably through the distorted space that makes up Discord’s realm.
Discord reaches out an arm and pulls him in. “Are you perhaps looking for me?”
“Are you...” the pony takes out the envelope and reads the front before looking to him again, “Disthcord, our current resthident? I can’t find any sthtreet numbers in thisth placeth.”
Discord takes the letter, opening it to reveal his ticket. “My ticket to the Grand Gallapoing Gala,” he cheers, showing the ticket to the mail pony. “I was invited after all!” at once, his mood changes as he narrows his eyes, moving his head til he’s nose to nose with the pony. “Why is this so late?”
“W-well, I got a little lostht after I esthcaped the flying badgersth,” the mail pony stutters. “Can you point me in the direction of the bottomlessth pit? I think I can make my way back from there.”
“Oh, over there,” Discord say uninterested, waving his paw in a general direction as he lets the pony go, causing them to float away again, “somewhere. Just go over there.”
I give Discord a disaproviing look as he walks away, focused only on himself as the mail pony is grabbed by some creature I’m not going to bother trying to guess.
I shake my head, teleporting in front of the odd creature, a large mallet appearing above me that swings down, whacking it in the head.
The creature drops the mail pony, disoriented.
I grab the mail pony in my magic, apoligize for what he’s been put through and teleport him back to where he works. Poor guy. I never did find out what happened to him in the show. Probably better that way, to be honest. I doubt Discord went back to save him.
“You never told me they’d be here too,” Diamond grumbles as the CMC go by with their big sisters. Diamond’s wearing a long bluish-grey silk dress that stops just above her waist with a bet of diamonds and pink highlights at the bottom ends, a broach around her neck with a diamond in the centre and pink fancy shoes on her front hooves.
I roll my eyes, before nodding to the door, where Discord and The Smooze have just come in. “Trust me, sis, you should be more concerned with Discord’s plus one than the Element Bearers’.” I myself am just wearing a plain blue dress that goes to my waist and that’s all.
Diamond makes a disgusted face. “What is that thing?”
“It’s called The Smooze,” I say, waving a hoof. “Though, trust me, it’s better to have around than the original.”
She looks to me with a mixture of curiosity, horror and disgust. “There was another one of those things?”
I nod. “Yeah and, trust me, the less you know, the better off you are. I can shrug it off because, well, I’m me. You’d probably be traumatized by the idea for the rest of your life. Frankly, anypony would.”
She gives me an uncertain expression, before nodding slowly. “I’ll... take your word on that.”
After a while, the lights go out and I turn, only to facehoof. Oh no, not Discord’s failed attempts at comedy. This is gonna hurt.
“Check, check, check. Is this thing on?” he says into the mic, before looking out at everypony. “Good evening, fillies and germs! I just flew into Canterlot, and wow, are my interspecies parts tired!”
The sound of a rimshot goes off in the background, followed by silence.
Diamond leans a little closer to me, whispering, “Was... that meant to be a joke?”
I groan, my hoof still planted on my face. “Yes. Yes, it was.”
A watermelon appears on a stool and Discord is dressed in a fedora, a white a red striped shirt under a black vest. He taps the melon, saying, “Knock knock!” followed by silence.
Discord looks out the crowd. “You’re supposed to say "Who’s there?"! This is the most basic of jokes!” He pulls out a hammer and smashes the melon.
“You’re the most basic of jokes,” Maud says from nearby, causing everypony to start laughing.
Even Diamond’s chuckling. “Now, that was funny.”
“What is that?!” Twilight cries and I look behind, only to groan. Right. Forgot about this part.
I levitate myself and Diamond up onto one of the chandeliers to avoid The Smooze.
“Now that I think about it, this is kinda like what happened last time,” I say, looking around at the hall flooded with green goop. “Luckily it’s just in here... for the moment.”
We watch everything play out, myself giggling when Tree Hugger starts her meditative thing to calm The Smooze, while Diamond just looks on in bewilderment.
As everything plays out, even Discord ripping open a hole in reality leading to that weird puppet pony world, Diamond gives me an odd look.
“Aren’t you, like, going to stop him?”
I shake my head, giving a bored expression as I look down at The Smooze hurrying after the shiny orb Discord throws, resting my head on a hoof. “It’ll work itself out. Doesn’t make me any less disappointed with his behaviour, though. Even good, he’s still got a lot to learn.”
“Did you really think I’d abandon you just because I have a new friend?!” Fluttershy demands.
Oh boy. This isn’t gonna be pleasant to sit through.
Discord glares at her. “Yes, because that’s what you did!”
“No, Discord!” Fluttershy shakes her head firmly. “I invited a friend to a party! I didn’t abandon you! What if you had a friend that you could discuss chaos-based magic with? Would that mean we weren’t friends anymore?!”
Well, technically he already does, with me, but does that quite count as friendship when it’s a kinda father/daughter thing? Well, I guess, technically, parents can be friends with their children and... Oh, whatever.
“Uh...” Discord stutter, before noticing me giving him a disapproving look from above. “No, I suppose not. It would just mean that I’d have different friends for different things...” I shake my head as his expression shows he finally gets it. “Oh, oh, dear, it looks like I’ve perhaps overreacted just a skosh.”
Diamond looks to me, confused. “Did he really not get that idea?”
I roll my eyes. “Eeyup. You nailed it on the head.”
“Hey!” I blink, before blushing as I notice Discord is now sporting a nail in his cranium.
I giggle sheepishly. “Uh, oops. Sorry ‘bout that.”
A short while later, we’re hanging near Twilight and Celestia because I know what’s coming and know Diamond should find it amusing. Or shocking. Either way, I’ll be amused.
“I’m sorry, Princess Celestia,” Twilight says, looking away. “I thought I could give you a break tonight, but it turns out I was in over my head.”
Celestia just smiles. “You have nothing to apologize for. This has been the most fun Gala in years!”
Diamond’s mouth hangs open as Twilight says, I know, it was a—What?! But there was ooze all over the place! And one of the guests threatened to send somepony to another dimension!”
Celesita grins. “I know! Can you imagine how dull it would have been if I hadn’t invited Discord?” I burst out laughing as Twilight seems to freeze up, her brain just not able to process what Celestia just said. “Come on! Whoo! The night is still young!”
I look to Diamond, who still has her mouth hanging open and seems in a shocked state, much like Twilight.
I giggle, before bucking her in the ass. This knocks her over and out of her trance.
“Guh, what?” she asks, shaking her head a bit.
“Come on, sis!” I cheer, pulling her along with my tail wrapped around her body as I pull her into the air. “Just like the princess said, the night is still young! Whoo!”
I yawn as I walk out of my room and walk downstairs for breakfast.
Sitting down, I see my usual eggs, bacon (real), and cameral ice cream covered pancakes are sitting in my spot.
I raise an eyebrow at the plate and it hops onto the table, where it belongs.
As I take my seat, I sigh, thinking about how tiring the last few days have been. With the last couple days, I’ve been somewhat able to relax. Despite my having to go around town and fixing the mass damages by both the yaks and the Bugbear, things have been quiet.
I didn’t bother attending the Grand Equestria Summit, though I did make sure they kept the Pony part out of the name. When you think about it, calling it the Grand Equestia Pony Summit, makes it sound very exclusive to non-ponies, of which there were several there. Kinda racist, really.
The looks of worry that played over the princesses faces when I pointed this out to them was both priceless... and groan-inducing. Seriously, Celestia’s been ruling on her own for a thousand years and such a thing didn’t occur to her? Not even once?
Whatever the case, it went as you’d expect, with the only change being the name. I spent the time of the summit just hanging around Ponyville or popping into the EQG world for a while.
As for when the Sister Hooves Social came around, I was both glad and angry still at Spoiled from forbidding Diamond from taking part in something that didn’t further Spoiled’s own status.
God, I can’t wait for her to get her just rewards and leave already.
“Victory is key. Something you’re sister clearly understands better than you.”
Oh, great. This is a fine start to my morning.
I look away from my breakfast to see Spoiled walk in and haughtily take her seat before her breakfast is set in front of her.
I give her a disinterested look. “You have little reason or right to lecture me, Spoiled Milk.”
Her eye twitched as we stared each other down. I’d recently learned the bitch’s given name and it fits so perfectly. The whole time she’s been here, she’s made living with her as unpleasant as drinking spoiled milk.
She huffs, sticking her nose into the air. “Once Diamond Tiara is Student Pony President again, maybe you’ll finally start to understand how to act.”
I snort. “Not likely. By the way, you came up with that position, correct?” At her nod, I continue. “Do you believe only ponies are ever going to that school, or are you just proving how much of a racist cunt you are and trying to say that anything but ponies are unworthy of high positions of power of any kind?”
She chokes on her cereal and begins coughing.
I finish my breakfast and head out as Randolph comes over, trying to help Spoiled clear her airways.
Yep. Today’s the day. Well, okay, tomorrow is, technically, when Diamond and I will finally be free of that wench.
Today is the day of the Election and the beginning of the events of Crusaders of the Lost Mark.
I am both overjoyed, as well as honestly kind of anxious. Not only am I worried about keeping the timeline up to code to make sure Diamond gets reformed completely, but I’m nearing the last of my knowledge of the show’s flow.
I mean, the last episode I saw was when Twi and Flutters go off to solve their friendship problem. Beyond that, I’m clueless and have no idea what to expect.
I mean, I’m certain as ever that Starlight isn’t going to be a problem, but with only three episodes left unaired before I ended up here as Screwball, I literally have no idea what the finale will be, nor how many days there are between Twi and Flutters heading off on their Friendship Mission, episode twenty-four and then the finale.
Heck, I don’t even know how many days the finale will consist of. It could be a week, only a few hours, I’ve no clue and, it both excites and terrifies me, none of which helps my worries about keeping the timeline in check for Diamond.
I stop in the middle of the road and do Cadance’s breathing exercise. It works and I can calm down a bit.
Alright, Screwball. You’ve just gotta make sure things go okay. Once Diamond’s future is safe, you don’t need to fret.
To be honest, that is one of the things that still surprises me, as much as I’m worried about what the finale entails, it will actually be a bit of a relief to not know what needs to happen. I can’t make a mistake if I don’t know what the outcome should be, after all.
With that thought firmly in mind, I decide to go over the evidence I have of Spoiled. A condensed version for now, of course. There’s so much, there’s no way I could go over all of it in under just forty-eight hours.
Once Diamond stands up to Spoiled, Daddy will receive a package containing all the crystals that hold the footage of what she’s put Diamond and even myself through both before and since Discord first got out of his stone prison.
Knowing Daddy, once he sees even just some of that shit, he’ll be horrified and want to get Spoiled out of our lives as much as I do. Of course, he won’t actually receive it until the part where Diamond stands up to the bitch, so he’ll also see how little Spoiled thinks of Apple Bloom and the other Crusaders.
It’s Apple Bloom, however, who will grab his attention the most, what with them and our family being such strong business partners. Frankly, I’m a little surprised Bloom hasn’t told AJ, Big Mac or Granny about Spoiled til now.
Heck, from what I can tell, Spoiled has even pretty much said to their faces, if somewhat subtly, how little she thinks of them when they were younger.
At least, I think that’s what happened. I’ve only gotten scraps of it from here and there. I’d need to talk with AJ or Mac themselves to find out and they’ve been kinda busy lately.
As I walk into school, I see Diamond and Silver sitting haughtily at their desks.
Oh, boy. This is gonna hurt... probably Diamond more than me, really, but still.
“WHAT?!” Diamond screams from within the school house, before coming back outside, her expression shock and hurt. “One vote?!”
I’m standing next to Silver Spoon as Diamond comes over. “Silver Spoon, Screwball, you didn’t vote for me?”
“No. I didn’t,” Silver says firmly.
“Sorry, sis,” I shrug. “We may be sisters, but I’d prefer new playground equipment over a statue of you in its place.”
Diamond seems to accept my reason, but turns to her friend. “But you’re my best friend!”
Silver Spoon gives her a disapproving looking. “Am I? ‘Cause I tried to help by mentioning your ‘surprise’ statue, and suddenly I wasn’t even allowed to speak! You could have actually won this election if you just listened to me. You wanna know how?” she moves closer and shuts Diamond’s open-hanging mouth. “Sorry. I’m not allowed to speak.”
Diamond looks at her for a moment, before leaping into the air, screaming and runs off.
I decide to follow the Crusaders discreetly. After all, while I may not be able to help Diamond now, my keeping a record of Spoiled’s actions will save her in the long run.
My heart breaks as I hear Diamond poor her heart out in her song, while I also feel pure rage at Spoiled.
Oh, and don’t think I didn’t investigate the whole Statue of Diamond Tiara thing, either. Oh, no. I looked into that.
Seeing as Spoiled saw it as what would happen once Diamond won the election, she used school funds to pay for the statue. Would explain why she tells Pip there’s no money in the budget for something the school needs, yet Silver Spoon pointed out the school board would be the ones putting that statue where the playground equipment should be.
Then again, she could’ve easily just been saying that because of how little she thinks of him and wanted to make him feel like a failure. Don’t think I didn’t notice when she called him a “transplant from Trottingham” in the episode.
So, yeah, embezzling school funds can be added to the already long list of charges she’ll be facing after tomorrow.
Once Diamond’s done singing, I head home. I tell Randolph I won’t be eating dinner tonight because I don’t feel hungry and head for my room.
I know Daddy can tell something’s on my mind. He hasn’t even seen Diamond, who was too ashamed to show her face at dinner either. With both of us refusing to eat, he must know something’s up.
I honestly feel bad for him when he finds out the truth. It won’t be an easy thing to understand, but, if our family is going to get past this and move on with our lives, it needs to happen.
I turn around, along with the rest of the class and Miss Cheerilee to see Diamond standing before us, the CMC right behind her.
Finally. I’ve been waiting since I first learned who my pony family is for this moment.
“Diamond Tiara!” Apple Bloom calls out, not actually knowing what it is Diamond is going to say. I’m pretty sure she was going to say something different, after the song the CMC sang with her on the way here. “Think hard about the choice you’re makin’ right now!”
“You can be a better pony!” Scootaloo further encourages.
As Diamond opens, her mouth, however, “Diamond Tiara!”
We all turn to see Spoiled standing in the doorway. “I just happened to be here for the school board meeting, and this is what I see when we adjourn?” She walks out, passing the CMC with a disgusted look. “My daughter associating with confused, insignificant lowlifes? Socializing with their kind is not how you move up in Equestria!”
Please hurry and stand up to her, Diamond. I’m really struggling not to turn into Godzilla and just stomp on her already!
“Come, Diamond Tiara!”
“No, mother!”
Spoiled Rich stops and turns around, giving Diamond a very angry expression. “Excuse me?!”
Diamond steps forward, her expression firm. “You’ve spent your life acting like a high horse and raised me to follow in your hoofprints!” she wavers for a moment. “At first I thought this was fine,” her resolve returns and she glares firmly, “but then I finally realized I wanted something you don’t have – friends!
Everypony else gasps, while I’m just smirking.
Spoiled gets a nervous look, likely because she sees Diamond is thinking for herself and not just whatever Spoiled wants, before she looks sternly at Diamond. “That’s enough, Diamond Tiara! Step away from those blank flanks!”
Oh, yeah. Real smart, Spoiled. Use that term in a derogatory manner about the siblings of several ponies well-known in town for having SAVED EQUESTRIA MULTIPLE TIMES. You just love digging your grave deeper, don’t you?
Diamond looks to the CMC, smiling. “These are the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and they are my friends!” She looks firmly at Spoiled. “You need to stop calling them such mean and hurtful names! They are working harder to get their cutie marks than anypony I’ve ever seen! And they will get them exactly when they discover their true talent, which I guarantee will be amazing! Now, will you please deliver this to father?” she finishes by holding out a note to Spoiled.
The bitch looks uncertain for a moment, before she notices my sly grin. “Yes, of course, dear...”
She takes the note and starts to head off.
I grin, sending the crystals to Daddy. I can’t wait to get home and see what happens.
“How can you be this way?!” Daddy demands as he stands protectively in front of Diamond, whilst I float by his head, my forelegs folded, a cold smirk on my face.
Spoiled looks from him to me, worry etched deep into her face. “Rich, you can’t honestly believe everything that,” she points at me, “told you, right?”
He snorts. “Screwball didn’t have to tell me anything. I saw the footage, Spoiled. I haven’t even seen all of it, just the points marked as priority cliff notes and those alone show I’ve been living a lie for years!”
“Rich, let me explain clearly—” Spoiled says, in a tone that I honestly feels in condescending.
“You’ve tried to mould Diamond solely to suit your own ends, not allowed her to make her own choices, made her feel worthless for even the smallest failures instead of trying to help her learn from them, insulted the youngest member of my family’s best partners and friends and worst of all, you tried to hide Screwball’s original condition from the public, just so she wouldn’t taint your own reputation!” he cuts her off with a snarl, before taking several long, deep breathes. “I don’t know what happened to the mare I fell in love with, but you clearly aren’t her!”
Spoiled gets a slight frown, one she’s given both myself and Diamond many a times when we weren’t living up to her standards (meaning it was the only look she ever gave me). “Now, Rich, be civil about this. I have merely tried my best to make sure Diamond does not make the wrong choices in life and goes far.”
“By belittling her for losing the Flag Carrying Competition?” he asked with a mockingly raised eyebrow. “By telling her off for joining Screwball last year in the Sister Hooves Social? By making her feel like she failed us by not becoming Student Pony President at her school? By making her feel like I won’t love her if she doesn’t do every single thing you say the way you say it?!” he was screaming by that last part.
Spoiled glares at me. “This is all her fault, don’t you see? Before she came after Discord’s attack, we were all fine.”
“No,” Daddy shakes his head, before giving me a warm smile. “She’s been fighting for our family, to make us better ponies.” He looks back to Spoiled with a scowl. “I want you out of this house, now!”
She stares at him, open-mouthed. “What?! You can’t be serious?!”
“I’ll pay for you to stay in a hotel somewhere here in town until you find your own place,” he grunts, pulling Diamond into a hug, before returning a glare at the mare before us. “I will not, however, have you living under the same roof as my daughters until you can sort out whatever is wrong with you.”
She stares at him in absolute shock, before a downright animalistic snarl forms on her face. “You DARE?! Without me, this family would be associating with gutter trash! Why, you’d probably be living on that putrid farm with those worthless farmers!”
Oh, shit! She did not just go there. I can actually see a vein throbbing on Daddy’s forehead.
“Those worthless farmers are the whole reason my family is where it is today, you... you...!” Despite his rage, he seems to be remembering Diamond and I are in the room, thus is stopping himself from saying whatever vulgar thing he was about to address Spoiled as.
I wouldn’t have minded myself, but Diamond is far younger in mind than I am, so keeping her away from such language is probably for the best.
“Go, Spoiled!” he says quietly, but coldly. “I don’t want to see you in this house or near my daughters until you have your head on straight!”
“Don’t worry about packing,” I say, just as coldly, her luggage containing all her personal possessions appearing next to her in a flash of white light. “Don’t let the door hit your fat flank on the way out.”
She just glares between Daddy and me in shock for several long moments, before thrusting her nose in the air. “Fine, Filthy! You really do live up to your name! See you in court!”
With that she turns away and stomps off.
As a final jab, I levitate her luggage and throw it at her, shouting, “Carry it yerself, ya saggy bag!”
“Screwball, language!” Daddy snaps.
“Sorry, Daddy,” I say, feeling a little bit sorry. I shouldn’t have said that right in front of Diamond.
He heaves a heavy sigh, before pulling Diamond and I into a hug, holding us close. “No. I’m sorry. Sorry I didn’t see how horrible a mare Spoiled had become and leaving you two to suffer under her like that.”
“Diamond suffered worse than me,” I say glumly. “I could avoid any stupid actions Spoiled took against me, but sis...”
Diamond sniffles.
We remain silent for a moment, just holding each other.
After some time, Daddy suggests we all go to bed and that we should all sleep together tonight. I can’t find any reason to disagree and Diamond is more than happy for the comfort.
She told me, back before Spoiled took over so much of Diamond’s life, back when Diamond still didn’t have her Cutie Mark, she and Daddy would sometimes do that.
As we head up to Daddy’s room, I sense Spoiled is no longer on the property and activate the ward spells I’ve been waiting so long to put up.
Now, Spoiled won’t be able to set hoof on this property without mine, Diamond and Daddy’s permission.
We all wash up, have a small meal in Daddy’s room Randolph brings in, then all snuggle up in Daddy’s bed, Diamond and I held in his forelegs.
True, dealing with the courts won’t be a walk in the park, even with all I have against Spoiled and it’ll be a rough time, but, I know it will be worth it in the end and the three of us will be far better off for it.
But, that’s for later. For now, I’m just going to enjoy being with my daddy and big sister, together, finally able to be ourselves around each other.
“I call my client’s wife, Spoiled to the stand,” the tan unicorn mare with a quill for a Cutie Mark and dressed in a fine blue suit and wearing wired-rimmed glasses says.
We are currently in a courtroom in Canterlot.
Three months have passed since the CMC got their Cutie Marks and Diamond and I can both stand on the same side against Spoiled, along with our father.
True to her word, Spoiled made it a court case. As you can imagine, she did not take the idea of being shut out from our lives well. Now, normally, this would be because the mother loves her child/children very much and can’t bear to be without them in her life somehow.
Well, the latter part about not wanting us, or rather Diamond, out of her life is true enough... but not out of love.
Likely I think because Discord had a claw in it, word spread pretty damn quickly about Spoiled being kicked out of our home and the bare minimum of why.
With that hanging over her head, Spoiled would need a good back-up to ensure her life still goes as smoothly and wealthy as she feels she is entitled to, which means utilizing Diamond’s special talent for making others do what she wants.
What she did not expect was that Diamond was so firmly siding with me in the matter. No lie, the look on her face when Diamond refused to help her in the case, it was like she’d just been told the sky is brown.
So, we’re now in the courtroom for the trail of both Spoiled’s actions and the custody battle of who gets Diamond.
Yeah, like you’re anymore surprised than I am that Spoiled didn’t care if Dad kept me himself.
Spoiled walks up to the podium and takes a sat with a huff, a smug look of superiority on her face.
Dad’s lawyer, Pointed Answer, looks firmly at her as she walks up. “Mrs Rich, you claim everything you did regarding your foals was for the better, is that correct?”
Spoiled sniffs. “Indeed. I only had Diamond Tiara’s best interests in mind.”
Pointed raises an eyebrow. “And your other daughter, Lilac, who now goes by the name Screwball? You had her best interests in mind as well?”
Spoiled fauns shook. “Why would I not? Regardless of how she feels about me, she is my own flesh and blood.”
“Interesting,” Pointed says, before looking away. “So, it was in Screwball’s best interests to be locked away and her identity hidden from the world until after Discord first returned?”
Spoiled remains aggravatingly calm. “Of course. Her condition was quite severe. I didn’t want her to lose her foalhood because she would be used as a test subject for treatment that might not even work.”
Pointed pushes her glasses up a little on her nose. “Strange, as just minutes ago, Doctor Stable said, under oath, I might add, that you threatened to have his discredited and fired from his job if he ever uttered a word about you’re second daughter, and expressly told him to make sure your own husband at the time didn’t know the full extent of her condition. Was that also done in your daughter’s best interest, when she was unable to make even cognitive thought at the time?”
“Objection!” Spoiled’s lawyer, a grey unicorn stallion with a black mane, wearing a black suit, with a Cutie Mark of a shredded note called, standing up.
“Overruled,” the judge says, shaking his head, before nodding for Pointed to continue.
Pointed nods her thanks before returning to look at Spoiled. “You claim to have had your daughters’ best interests at heart, yet we have testimonies from both of them stating quite a different tale. Screwball has mentioned that, on many occasions, you demanded she obey any command you give her, even if it would’ve caused harm to her social life. Diamond Tiara has said the same, but with her being less able to resist your demands, as she did not have Screwball’s way of getting out of problems with her Chaos Magic.
Furthermore, Diamond has stated that you grilled her on the idea that, not only would she not get anywhere in life if she did not follow everything you told her to do, right down to the letter, but that her father would no longer love her. You grilled this into her for everything, her accomplishments and any small failings she met along the way, including something as trivial as losing her job as head of her school’s newspaper and the election for Student Pony President.”
Pointed gives Spoiled a frown.
“You instilled a fear into your own child that, if she lost a simple class election, her father would no longer love her. Please, Mrs Rich, explain how that, in even the smallest sense, sounds like it is in the best interests of you daughter? Because, to me, that sounds like foalabuse.”
Spoiled keeps her expression calm, but I have it on good authority that she got angrier and more anxious as Pointed went on.
Let’s just say, I made sure a certain one of three ponies was put on the jury and has been having a telepathic conversation with me since the trail began.
Spoiled says nothing for several long moments, before closing her eyes. “Diamond took that the wrong way. I never meant for her to think her father would not love her if she failed. I meant for her to learn that he would be disappointed if she failed because of her actions.”
“Actions you yourself, instilled into Diamond as being how she should treat others and how to get what she wants?” Pointed interjected.
Spoiled snorted. “You do not live as high class a life as my family, Miss Answer. You cannot begin to understand how our lives work.”
“So, you say because you were part of a wealthy family, you could act differently to others?”
Spoiled gave a slight nod.
Pointed closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and turned to head back to her seat. “No further questions for now, Your Honour.”
The judge nodded and Spoiled returned to her seat, before he looked to Spoiled’s lawyer. “Paper Shreds, do you have a witness to call.”
The grey pony got up, a smug smirk on his face. “Yes, Your Honour. I call Screwball Rich to the stand.”
I blink, glancing to Daddy and Diamond sitting next to me, who look as surprised as I do.
“Miss Rich?” the judge says, indicating to the stand. “If you please?”
I cock an eyebrow. Well, this should be interesting.
I float into the air over to the stand and take my seat, raising my right hoof and vowing to only speak the truth... which, now that I think about it, due to my nature and origins, could backfire on me if I’m not too careful.
Whoops.
Shreds walks up to me, the smuggest grin on his face. “Miss Screwball, is it not true that you loath your mother?”
I cock an eyebrow, before shrugging, folding my forelegs. “Yeah, I hate her guts. Everypony in Ponyville knows that. It’s not exactly a hidden secret or anything.”
“And you have power on par with the Lord of Chaos, able to manipulate reality itself, do you not?”
I hesitate. “Well... not exactly. See, he was born into being as Chaos. I only got my powers and status as a being of chaos because he screwed up one small thing and I’m the unintended side effect. I’ve been able to outsmart him a few times and have been able to put certain things into place he can’t undo, but I’m nowhere near as powerful as DD.”
He cocks an eyebrow. “DD?”
“Well, yeah,” I say casually. “It’s short for Daddy Discord. Since he helped me pretty much come to life after old Spoiled Bitch over there left me to rot in the hospital, he’s kinda like a second dad to me.”
“Objection,” Pointed calls out calmly. “The witness’s relationship with the Lord of Chaos is not relevant.”
“Sustained,” the judge nods, before giving Shreds a firm look. “Return to the matter at hoof.”
Shreds gives an annoyed glare towards Pointed, before continuing on. “So, despite not being as powerful as the Lord of Chaos, you do still posses many abilities similar to his own. Does this include the power to alter the memories of others?”
I blink, before wilting a bit. Ah, crap. Gotta be honest.
I look down, muttering quietly, “Yes.”
I can tell without even looking up that a spark just entered his eyes. “And yet, you say Diamond suffered under her mother’s hoof. How can we know you didn’t simply alter memories of being with your mother to convince Diamond Tiara that her mother is cold, when she is in fact, a loving being, so that she’d hate her as much as you do?”
That pulls me right out of my little funk as I burst into laughter.
After a few moments, I manage to get my words out. “L—l— loving being? Seriously?” I laugh again, before finally getting enough control to talk, if still struggling not to laugh. “Whe-when she dumped me in the hospital and told Diamond I’m evil, that I’d ruined Diamond’s life and make her unhappy? When she got angry at Diamond for wanting to spend Hearth’s Warming with me instead of going to some snobby party where everypony would just flaunt their wealth? When she chastised Diamond for joining me in the Sister Hooves Social? You call that the actions of a “loving being”? Clearly, our ideas of what counts for love is very different, Shreds.”
His right eyebrow twitches. Very passive-aggressively, he reaches up to straighten his tie. “I would rather you treat me with respect and call me Mr. Paper, Miss Rich.”
I snort, leaning back. “Yeah, and Spoiled wanted me to treat her like she was the best mother in the world for acting like I didn’t exist. Sorry, Shreds, but no rule states I gotta call you Mr anything.”
There’s small murmurs of laughter from within the room, before the judge calls for order, then instructs me to go on.
“So, I don’t have even the smallest ounce of love for that mare,” I say, tossing my hair back, looking pointedly at Shreds. “Doesn’t change the fact that she’s a horrible excuse for a mother and treated her own children like objects, rather than her own flesh and blood.”
“The nerve!” Spoiled growls, before the judge hushes her.
Shreds just smiles. “You still haven’t answered my question, Miss Rich. Did you use your powers to change your sister’s memories, or not?”
My slack attitude shifts at I glare dangers at him... oops. I’m literally glaring dangers, as several appear right before him, causing him to yelp in fright.
“Sorry! Sorry!” I call out, wiping them away with a wave of my hoof. “Yeah, one of the problems with my powers is I can subconsciously do things if they relate to a term of phrase. Glaring dangers, for example, meaning... well, you get the idea. However,” my apologetic expression returns to a glare, “I would and never have used that power, here in Equestria. In this world, I have never altered the mind of a single being, and believe me, there are several who damn well were asking for it.”
He frowns, both looking confused and curious. “So, you say you’ve never used them in Equestria? Have you ever used them on anypony?”
At once, I sag. Crap.
I look away, shame coming to my face. “Well, I can’t say I’ve never used it. Though, I’ve certainly never used it on anypony.”
Which, in my defence, is true enough. Whether they had been born human or been Sirens turned into humans when forced through the mirror, The Dazzling weren’t ponies, nor had I done it to them in this world, so I am being honest when I say I’ve never altered the memories of any pony here in this world.
The glint has returned to Shreds’ eyes. “So, you claim your mother is bad, yet you have willingly, and knowingly altered the mind or minds of others? How can you claim innocence, when you have that on your conscience?”
“I didn’t mean for her to get hurt by it!” I blurt out, feeling tears welling in my eyes. “I had no idea she existed! I didn’t know making them go after someone that looks like her would...”
I never meant for it. I never wanted to hurt an innocent life.
“Objection!” Pointed’s firm shout pulls me out of it and I look up to see her glaring daggers at Shreds. “Your Honour, this isn’t about anything the witness has done in her own past. This is just mentally attacking a child for events she likely had no intended part in.”
“Sustained,” the judge gives a stern stare to Shreds. “One more incident like that, Mr. Shreds, and you’ll be held in contempt of this court.”
“Of course, Your Honour,” Shreds nods, though I can see an evil glint in his eyes as he returns to looking at me. “So, Miss Rich, just why do you feel your mother is such a horrible being?”
After a few moments to calm myself down and push my guilt about what happened in the EQG world aside, I take a few deep breaths, before glaring coldly at the stallion.
“I don’t need to say anything. Those crystals contain filmed footage of anything and everything that I could state why that mare,” I glance briefly at Spoiled, “is a horrible pony and was a terrible mother to both myself and especially Diamond. And they’ve been checked be several unicorns and the princesses themselves. They’re real. I didn’t merely think, “Ya know, I hate my mom. I’ll created an illusion of her being horrible to both my sister and I to get her in trouble” and then set anything up. What’s on the footage in those crystals is real. I don’t need to defend myself for that in any way at all.”
He looks annoyed, before snorting and heading back to his seat. “No further questions, Your Honour.”
I sigh, moving to take my seat.
Pointed gets back up and calls Spoiled to the stands again.
The next couple minutes are spent watching the footage on the crystals.
I won’t lie, hearing from my spy in the jury about the emotions Spoiled was going through as each of the selected videos plays was glorious.
She went from anger, annoyance, fear, disgust, indignant, a whole slew of emotions. Oh, it was wonderful.
The reactions of the courtroom were something else though. Oh, there was anger, fear and disgust, but for whole different reasons, along with much else.
After they were all finished being shown, the jury was adjourned to make their decision.
Meanwhile, Diamond, Dad and I exited the courtroom along with everyone else to await being called back for the jury’s answer.
When we got out, Diamond and Dad hugged me, silently asking just what had upset me so much back there.
Finding a more private place to talk, I told them the cliff notes, without actually telling Dad about the EQG world, only that it was another world I’d visited using my powers.
Diamond knew about that world’s version of Luna’s daughter, but not my connection.
They both comforted me, until I was okay to returning to the hall with everypony else.
And, I’ll give you three guesses who had the gall to come up to us, acting like everything was fine.
“I am so looking forward to the verdict,” Spoiled chortles, looking at Diamond with what I bet she thinks is a warm smile, but looks more like a sinister sneer. “I know you think, showing those phony filmings of us, is going to win this for you, but I can assure you, once this is all over, the claims you two,” she looks from Dad to me, “keep insisting on having against me will be known as Fake News. Then Diamond and I can live a happy, wealthy life, without you two trying to taint it.”
“The only one tainted is you, Spoiled,” Dad glares at her. “How can you defend what you did to our daughters and act like everything is fine?”
Spoiled gives him a pitying look. “Because, my dear husband, I am in the right. You only believe you are in the right because she,” she points to me, “is an evil demon that has polluted your mind beyond help.”
“There were witnesses, you wench!” I snarl. “The CMC, the Element Bearers, Cheerilee, so many calling you out, yet you think you’re going to win? Seriously? Are you that blind?”
“Yes,” Spoiled says, looking away with a frown, clearly not answer my question. “That teacher needs to learn her place. Once this is over, she’ll be losing her job and I’ll get a proper teacher in that school. One who won’t let the filth have so much leverage.”
It takes everything I have to not obliterate her right here and now. She dares threaten to take Cheerilee’s job?! Is she fucking serious?! And did she just say she’d have her replaced with a teacher who’d treat non-rich ponies like garbage?!
Members of the School Board are here today and she honestly thinks they’ll just let her keep being the head after what they’ve heard and seen?!
The three of us move away from her, if only so we don’t have to bear her presence again until we return to the courtroom.
After about an hour, we’re all called back into the courtroom. We take our seats as the jury takes their place.
“Jury, have you all come to a verdict?” the judge asks.
A pale green Earth Pony stallion stands up, holding several sheets of paper in a hoof. “We find Mrs Spoiled Rich guilty of foal-neglect and abuse and that all custody rights should go to Mr. Filthy Rich.”
“WHAT?!” Spoiled stares at the stallion in shock and fury.
“It is settled then,” the judge makes the verdict official. “I award full custody of Diamond Tiara and Screwball to Filthy Rich. Furthermore, Mrs Rich will be under a restraining order and is not allowed within twenty yards of either filly and a sum of one third of the Rich fortune will be transferred to her personal bank account for home expenses and to aid in paying for the therapy. Other matters will be discussed two weeks after Hearth Warming. Case dismissed.”
Yeah. Sadly, I couldn’t get my full wish that she be completely out of our lives permanently, but the chances she’s ever be cleared is zero. Let’s just say her doctor is someone from Ponyville who will easily be able to tell if she’s lying about being in the right state of mind.
“I can’t believe you still have to give her all that money!” Apple Bloom says angrily, stomping a hoof.
We’re on the train headed back to Ponyville. Since Diamond is friends with the CMC now, we were all in the same cart. Princess Twilight and the other Element Bearers are in another, expect for Rarity, who will be returning to Ponyville a day or so from now. She’s visiting a certain stallion.
Silver Spoon gives Diamond a small one legged hug. “At least now she won’t be able to bother you all anymore.”
“Yes,” Miss Cheerilee says from her seat across from us, sighing. “Thankfully, she can’t fire me for speaking out unless she gets pardoned for her crimes against the school, which are the next case she’ll be in.”
I smirk. “Oh, I’d loved to see how she defends against that, especially with the footage where she insults the CMC without provocation. Seriously, she thinks evidence of her telling three fillies, right to their faces, that they’re worthless and insignificant lowlifes won’t call her right as Head of the School Board into question?”
Dad frowns. “Bad enough he was insulting Apple Bloom, but to say that about any young one, right to their faces...” he heaves a sigh. “Seriously, how did I not see what a horrible pony she truly is.”
I pop over to him and put a hoof on his shoulder. “Dad, it’s fine. You couldn’t have known. Spoiled was smart about it. Sure, I knew she was bad to the bone, but I’m a being of Chaos. It’d be weirder if I hadn’t been able to tell.”
He sighs again, before pulling Diamond, who’s sitting on his right, a little closer in a hug and reaching up to pull me into it as well. “At least we can enjoy Hearth’s Warming without her dampening the mood this year, or any year from now on.”
I nod, before looking to the CMC.
Time to lighten the mood. “So, Apple Bloom, I hear you, AJ, Granny Smith and Big Mac will be joining Pinkie Pie for Hearth’s Warming this year?”
Apple Bloom smiles, nodding. “Yeah. Cuz we’re family, we decided we’d all spend Hearth’s Warmin’ at Pinkie’s family’s rock farm.”
Silver Spoon frowns in confusion. “You know, I still don’t understand that. What’s the point of farming rocks anyway?”
I shrug. “Eh. One of life’s delightfully mundane mysteries.”
Silver gives me an odd look.
“So, looking forward to it, Apple Bloom?” I ask, returning my gaze to the farm filly.
“She should! It’s gonna be so much fun!”
We all scream, taken aback by the sudden appearance of the third pink pony on this train, who is now sitting on my other side, a foreleg around me.
“Pinkie, how did you...?” I begin, before trailing off and facehoofing. “Nope. Why should I even bother asking?”
“So, what’re you’re plans for Hearth’s Warming, Screwy?” Pinkie asks, her face coming inches from mine, with that wide grin that is still kind of unnerving, even Discord has agreed with me on that.
“Speaking of the best draconequs dad in all of Equestria,” there’s a flash of light and Discord appears between myself and Pinkie, wearing a Santa hat. “I cannot tell you how happy I am that you’re inviting me over for Hearth’s Warming.”
Dad gives him a slightly anxious look, but mixed with gratitude. “Well, if not for you, I wouldn’t have my little filly back,” he gives me a small squeeze, “and without her, Diamond would still be in that monster’s hold.” His face darkens a little at that last part, both out of anger and guilt.
Discord waves his claw. “Not a problem, my dear fellow father. I was more than happy to lend a helping paw.”
“This year’s Hearth’s Warming is sure going to be pretty interesting for you guys,” Scootaloo looks from Diamond to myself. “I mean, how many ponies can say they’re having the Lord of Chaos over as a guest?”
“Thank you, Scootaloo,” he says, smiling warmly at her. “It is nice to know I can spend such an important day with my little ball of chaos.”
I chuckle. Yep. And, if Spoiled doesn’t heed the restraining order against her, Discord will be on hand to deal some chaotic justice. She can never get enough, as far as I’m concerned.
“Still can’t believe winter came to Ponyville so fast this year,” Sweetie Belle says, looking out the window at the snow.
Yeah. That’s what happens when nopony informs Rainbow prior to her first winter with Tank that tortoises hibernate during that season and she goes cuckoo, causing a massive snowsplosion that brings winter in an instant.
Discord laughs. “Ah, yes. I must commend Rainbow Dash for the lovely little bit of chaos she caused doing that. Quite impressive, indeed.”
I giggle, before turning to watch the scenery as we move along. I know how things go for Pinkie and AJ’s families and since Shining and Cadance have yet to inform everypony that she’s expecting a foal, I’ve that to look forward to after winter’s over.
After that though, I’m clueless and I think I’m honestly happy about that. I did try to learn about the show’s future episodes, but I got blocked.
Literally, I tried to look it up online both here and in the EQG world and right away I got a big red X come up on the screens. Even tried going to alternate realities, both Equestria and normal Earths and still nothing.
Guess the Rules of Chaos are against me knowing anymore about Equestria’s future than I already did upon arrival.
Though my exploring led me to some... interesting versions of Equestria. Let’s just say I experienced a few things, both enjoyable and disturbing.
Can’t say I’m unhappy about not having a clue what comes next here in Equestria, though. Knowing how things had to play out had honestly dulled things a bit. I had to watch whatever I did carefully, fearful I could alter the timeline and screw things up big time.
Diamond’s redemption and the CMC getting their marks was the thing that had caused me the most anxiety. Now that it’s all done with, I’m free of that burden. I can actually just relax and live my life in Equestria without a care.
So, I may not know what the future holds, but I can’t wait to see what happens.
I finally free us from Spoiled... and I meet a pony who’s like a male version of her?!
I’m drawn from slumber by the sound of a knocking on my bedroom door.
Giving a loud yawn, I sit up slightly, rubbing my eyes as I mumble, “Come in.”
The door opens and Randolph walks in, carrying a tray with a plate holding two omelettes, a pear and a glass of choc-orange milk. “Good morning, Miss Screwball.”
I yawn again as I say, “Morning, Randy.”
He places the tray on my bedside table, which is below my bed, but whatever and looks up at me in my bed, a slightly worried frown on his face. “Is everything alright, miss? You don’t normally stay in bed so late.”
Late? A pocket watch appears before me and I realize it’s almost 12pm. Wow. I really did sleep in late.
Poofing the watch away, I stretch, before flopping back on my bed, my forelegs spread wide. “Randy, we just spent the last several weeks wrapping up winter and, like I should, I didn’t use any magic during the whole thing? Me, not using any magic! Can you really blame me for wanting to take it easy on such a morning?”
He looks up at me for a moment, slightly confused, before cocking an eyebrow and shrugging. “I suppose not, miss. Though, if you want to help out with getting the Helping Hooves Music Festival like you Pinkie Promised to our resident party pony, I’d advise you get up soon.”
The room is still for a moment, before my eyes snap wide open. I’m suddenly next to Randolph, checking the calender.
Aw, crap! Today’s the day of the festival?! With everything regarding the case against Spoiled, I’d totally forgotten about it. And I Pinkie Promised I’d help Pinkie out during it! She’ll gonna Cupcakes me!
“OkaythankRandolph! I’llbebacklater!” I hurriedly say, grabbing my breakfast in my magic and bolt out the door.
“Phew,” I mumble as I walk through the apples trees of the area Applejack had agreed the festival could be held in.
I’d gotten here in time to find Pinkie worried about something. When I asked, she said she’d been unable to get several bottle of water from Rainbow Falls, something about one of the acts demanding them if she was to perform at the festival.
Of course, me being me, it was a simple matter of popping over to Rainbow Falls myself and getting the water and poofing right back.
After that, I told Pinkie I’d be back after I went and checked on something (that something being a secret date Blueblood and Rarity were on in a small cafe here in Ponyville), before coming back.
“But... I got everything you requested, Svengallop!” Pinkie’s voice says from a little ahead.
I frown. She sounds... worried?
I hurry a little, coming through some tree to see Pinkie with a white Earth Pony with a two-toned pink and whitish-pink mane and tail, wearing a blue business suit and red tie. Guessing this is Svengallop. Weird sounding name, even for a pony.
“That was for Countess Coloratura!” Svengallop says, in a tone I definitely recognize from the nobles when they just think they can have whatever they want. “This is for me! And what I want is premium oats!”
Pinkie’s smile returns as she holds up a plate of oats saying, “Oh! Well, we have lots of tasty oats right here in Ponyville!”
My jaw drops when Svengallop knocks the plate away, saying, “I would not feed those to a chicken! I want top-of-the-line Appleloosan oats!”
I feel my right eye twitch. Okay, who the hell does this guy think he is? Does he realize who he is talking to there?! How dare he talk down to Pinkie like that?!
“Next,” he continues, “it appears that we are surrounded by apple trees. Bring me five hundred pre-peeled, pre-cored apples, and I want those things in twenty-four hours!”
At once I stop in shock, before snarling, popping away from where I was and reappear right in front of him, causing the stallion to let out a rather feminine shriek.
“Hey, buster!” I growl, snorting, smoke actually coming out of my snorting. “Have you gotten permission to make such a demand?”
At once, his startled expression become a bored one nobles have when they’re speaking to those they see as beneath them. “I am Countess Coloratura’s manager, little pony. I am allowed to ask for what I want and do not need to explain myself to some urchin like you.”
I stare at him for several moments, before frowning. “So, let me see if I got this right. You think that just because you manage some popstar, you’re allowed to demand stuff from other ponies’ property, without their consent and that it’ll just happen?”
He gives a snorting chuckle. “Well, why not?”
I tap a hoof. “So, if you say, if you wanted, you could just kick a family out of their home if you wanted to stay in that house whilst in the town or city your popstar’s performing in? Or a hotel room being used by somepiony else, just because you want it that way, regardless of the feelings of the ponies you kick out?”
Very specific idea here, but it’s a good hypothetical scenario here. If the attitude I’m getting from this guy is right, it isn’t too big of a stretch that he’d do something like that, since this is the Apple Family’s farm and I get the feeling from his depends that he didn’t actually asks any of the Apples if that was okay.
He chuckles. “Of course. I’d deserve staying there more than those common ponies.” He then turns away from me, glaring at Pinkie. “Now, get what I asked for!”
He pushes his face right up against Pinkie’s, glaring at her. “Do you want me to pull Countess Coloratura from your little podunk charity show?! Because I will!”
He then turns to walk off, but I’m standing in his path, my eyebrows narrowed. “Are you not going to asked Applejack, ya know, the farmer who owns these trees, first?”
He just snorts and walks off.
I’m about to teleport after him, when I hear Applejack and turn to see her and Pinkie talking.
I join in and we agree that AJ should talk to the popstar known as Countess Coloratura and she’ll fix everything. Apparently the two knew each other when they were younger and AJ’s calls her Rara. Gotta say, I think that sounds better.
I hang back a bit to give Pinkie a little extra comfort, as well as assure her she won’t need to take any of Applejack’s family’s apples without permission (one, I know they’d have happily given some and, two, once Rara sorts this all out, it won’t even need to be thought about), and head over.
“Alright now,” Applejack’s saying to her sister and the other CMC, “you’d best get along, little ponies.”
The CMC go, but they keep their heads turned to the Countess the whole time, with amazed smiles on their faces, even walking backwards.
Coloratura laughs at this and I can’t help giggling along with her. it is pretty funny.
“Uh... Hey, Rara, you mind if I talk to you about your manager?” Applejack asks, pulling my mind back to the task at hoof.
The mare looks to AJ, smiling. “Sure, what about him?”
Applejack rubs her neck. “Well, while you were meetin’ with the schoolponies, he was demandin’ all sorts of stuff from Pinkie Pie.”
Coloratura shakes her head. “Svengallop works very hard as my manager, AJ, so if he needs some things when we’re on the road, I don’t see anything wrong with that.”
“What about demanding Pinkie give him a large number of AJ’s family’s apples, without asking Applejack about it first?” I ask, sitting on my haunches and folding my forelegs.
She looks to me in confusion. “Huh?”
I nod. “Yep. Demanded Pinkie give him exactly five hundred pre-peeled, pre-cored apples, and he wants them in twenty-four hours.”
She blinks at me, confused. “I’m sure he didn’t mean to not ask AJ if it was fine first. Maybe he assumed your friend Pinkie Pie was allowed that many anyway.”
“Well, she is family, so we’d be fine giving them to her if she asked,” Applejack said, her frown returning, “ but, even if that’s okay, do you see somethin’ wrong with him tellin’ Pinkie that if she doesn’t get those things by tomorrow, he’d pull you from our charity festival?”
Coloratura frowns. “What? But he knows how important charity is to me, and leaving the festival would completely ruin my image!”
Applejack waves a hoof. “I’m afraid Svengallop doesn’t give a pickled pippin about your charity work.”
Coloratura glares at Applejack. “That’s not true! Svengallop has always supported me in all my interests. You’re just saying those things because you’re jealous!”
Applejack laughs. “Jealous of what? A pony who hides behind a veil so thick she can’t see when somepony’s usin’ her? No, I’m not jealous of that, Rara!”
Uh oh. This is getting out of hoof really fast.
“Okay, before either of you say anything else in the heat of anger you would regret later,” I say, popping up hovering next to Coloratura’s head and wrapping a foreleg around her, “I think I’ll handle this.”
Before either of them can respond, the mare and I are standing a little away, another me walking close by.
“Huh?” Coloratura says, looking from myself to the other me in confusion. “What’s going on?”
“We’re in my memories,” I say, indicating to the past me. “Specifically, my memories from a couple minutes ago before AJ and I came over to you to talk about your manager.”
So, we watch my memories play out, Coloratura becoming more shocked with each word that spills out of her manager’s mout.
Once the memory gets to myself turning to AJ comforting Pinkie, I teleport us right back.
Applejack looks from myself to her fillyhood friend, an eyebrow raised.
“If you want, we can prove it even further,” I say, ingoring the farm mare for a moment. “Just tell Svenny that you’re cancelling the schoolpony contest. If he reacts badly about it, he cares about you. If he’s happy about it, it’s because he only cares about his wants and not yours.”
“I... well, I guess it couldn’t hurt...” she says, turning towards the stage.
Applejack taps me on the shoulder and I look back to see her giving me an odd look. “What’d you do?”
I shrug. “Just showed her my memories. No big.”
“Svengallop?” Rara calls out. “Svengallop! Where are you, Svengallop?”
Svengallop comes over. “Here I am! Did you need something?
I frown. The way he asked her made it sound like he was annoyed she called him.
Rara looks down, making circle with her forehoof against the stage floor. “Yes, I was... considering... m-maybe cancelling the contest with the schoolponies...?”
At once, Svengallop’s face lights up. “Countess, this is wonderful! I've been waiting forever for you to cancel that pointless schoolpony contest.”
Her eyes widen and her mouth opens in shock. “You... have?”
He nods. “You do it at every charity event, and it does absolutely nothing to promote the Countess Coloratura image that I built!”
Rara’s eyes narrow. “So, AJ and that filly were right!”
His expression quickly becomes uncertain and confused. “Say what now?”
She steps closer, before jabbing his chest with a hoof. “All you care about is what you want, and not me! Did you really demand three hundred apples from a pony who isn’t even the owner of the farm you demanded they come from?”
Svengallop gives a confused look, before frowning. “Yeah, so? What's the problem?”
Rara stomps a hoof. “The problem is, is you've been using my name to intimidate ponies to get what you want!”
Svengallop snorts. “But I work incredibly hard for you! I deserve everything I get!”
Rara shakes her head. “But not because you scare ponies into thinking I won't perform for their charities otherwise! I would never do that to my fans! Which is why you should have known that I would never cancel the schoolponies' contest!
Svengallop huffs, walking past her, before looking back. “Hmph. All this charity and schoolpony contest nonsense is just remnants of that boring little Rara I met back in Manehattan!”
Rara looks hurt for a moment, before glaring. “You clearly don't understand the real me!”
Svengallop laughs. “Ha, that's a joke! I made you somepony! What can you even do without me?”
“You say you work hard for Rara,” Applejack walks up to the stallion, her eyes narrowed. “But that’s only because you go out of your way to promote Rara in ways she doesn’t need to be. Ah garantee, if you just promote Rara for who she is instead of what you want her to be, you’d have far less work and still get plenty of rewards for it, from ponies willing to give you what you ask for without need of threats at all!”
He looks at Applejack as if she’s a bug he wants to shoo away, before turning back to Rara. “Good luck, Countess Coloratura! Good luck.”
And with that, he stomps off, nose in the air.
Applejack walks over to her friend. “Oh, Rara, I'm so sorry. Are you gonna be okay for the concert tonight?”
Rara looks up, a sad smile on her face. “Of course. After all, the show must go on!”
I turn in the direction her now ex manger went, a sinister grin slowly spreading across my face.
Indeed, the show must go on... and what a fun show it will be... for me.
Svengallop growl under his breath as he walked toward the train station.
How dare that ungrateful mare do that to him, after evertything he’d done for her!
He’d made her a star; everypony only loved her because of him. Without him, she’d fall by the wayside in no time. She’d be begging for him to come back in no time.
Well, too bad for her. After that stunt, she could become homeless for all he cared. There were plenty of desperate young mares and stallions who wanted fame. He’d just have to find one and mould them to fit an image he preferred.
They’d never question it if it gets them the fame and fortune they want.
“You will regret treating my friends so badly.”
He yelped, before looking around, only to relax. It was just that worthless pink filly from earlier. She probably thought she could get one up on him right after losing his job.
“You’re just like a mare I got rid of, you know.”
He blinked, confused by that statement, before he felt an unexplainable chill run down his spine as he looked at the filly.
That smile of hers... there was something wrong about it. Something... unsettling.
She took a step forward and he found himself taking a step back.
“You two are a lot alike,” she continued casually, yet the smile made him concerned. “You both took a pony unable to fight against you and tried moulding her into what you wanted, instead of what they wanted to be and cared nothing for their personal feelings. And, when you get called out, act like you’re the victim.”
She continued walking towards him, Svengallop finding himself walking back, a deep feeling within him, some primal instinct, telling him he had to keep the distance.
“Well, she got what she deserved and you?” the filly gave a chuckle that made his blood run cold. “You think Rara deserves to and will be homeless without you?”
His heart skipped a beat. How... how had she known what he was thinking? Who was this filly?!
The filly giggled, the sound like causing his body to scream at him to run. “Well, somepony will be homeless, alright. but, I can assure you, it won’t be Rara. You see, ponies love her, not for what she is, but who she is. they know she cares. They know she’s kind. You? All anypony knows about you is you threaten to take your client out of important events, which would result in disaster for the hosts, just to get whatever you want. Chances you’ll find those willing to work for you or give sympathy are as likely as Cinch keeping her job after Friendships Games is over.”
He frowned in slight confusion. Cinch? Friendship Games? What was she talking about?
“Good luck, Svenny!” He yelped in fright. Somehow she was right in front of his face, floating off of the ground, giving him that unsettling, cold grin. “Good luck.”
With that, she was gone.
He looked around, his adrenaline still pumping from the fear he still couldn’t understand that filly had instilled into him.
After several moments, he hurried into the station, his anxiety about the last minute of so making him not care about having to pay for the ticket.
The sooner he got out of here, the better. This town was insane!
I never thought I could Make such a Horrible Mistake
I lazily lift my head up to see Diamond and Silver standing in the doorway, both wearing slightly concerned, but mostly confused expression.
I groan, rolling over to look up at the ceiling. “I’m bored. DD’s off having tea with Fluttershy, so we can’t go mess around with the nobles together. It’s not as fun when it’s just me.”
I see from my upside down angle that they exchange odd looks, before returning to look at me, Silver Spoon speaking up.
“But, what about that human world? I thought you said there’s meant to be some event you’d like to go check out.”
I pout, folding my forelegs. “Yeah. But I keep checking my watch,” a small pocket watch appears floating before them, with big red words saying “NOT TIME YET”, “but that’s all it says. I wanna have fun there, but it’s like the time flow there is disrupting my teleports or something.”
Just as Diamond opens her mouth to say something, I suddenly bolt upright, my body shuddering like crazy. Somepony just cast a powerful spell, a REALLY powerful spell.
It kinda feels like when Twilight cast... Oh. Well, crap.
“Sorrygottabye!” I cry, teleporting, my aim fixed on where I sense the spell coming from, Twilight’s castle, specifically, the room with the Map.
As I arrive, however, it’s to see a half sphere of sorts with magical time runes or something of the sort popped out of existence.
“Um... what?” I ask, looking around and noticing Twilight and Spike are still here as they run over to the Map... which I’ve just noticed is active, but no Cutie Marks are glowing. Odd.
“Where’d she go?” Spike asks, before turning and noticing me. “Oh. Hey, Screwball. What brought you here?”
I frown at him. “The massive surge of a power spell I could sense from my house.” I turn to Twilight, who’s looking intently at the Map. “So, who cast it?”
“Starlight Glimmer.”
I blink, before grinning and shaking my head. “No, seriously, who cast it? That spell was powerful and she may have the raw skill for that, but the complex intricate lines in that spell are way too heavy for that dumb mare. So, who really cast it?”
Twilight looks firmly at me. “It was Starlight Glimmer, Screwball.” She looks back at the Map. “I don’t know what that she plans to do, but we’d better figure it out.”
Well, considering I know what type of spell she used, I don’t see why. It felt a little different, but it was still the same spell. We just have to wait here and she’ll be back when—
“I guess we could start with this.”
Twilight and I both turn to see the drake bending down, his hand reaching out for some crumpled up piece of parchment.
At once, I get alarm bells ringing in my ears, literally, Twilight and I crying out in unison, “Spike, don’t touch that!”
But, we’re too late. Just as we finish speaking, his claw grips around the parchment. At once, the portal I saw closing when I arrived opens up above the Map, a forceful wind sucking in the air around us, yanking Spike up into the air.
With my ears still ringing, I follow Twilight’s lead and grab onto Spike and a vain attempt to keep him from being sucked in, only to get pulled along for the ride.
We whirl around through what I can tell is the Time Vortex, myself blinking as I swear I saw the TARDIS pass us by, before we’re thrown into a bright white light.
When it fades, I see we’re falling. At once I stop myself from doing so, yet both Twilight and Spike keep falling.
I quickly move over to the Alicorn and point at my back and she suddenly seems to remember that, oh, yeah, she has extra limbs designed for flight.
As for Spike, I would grab him in my magic, but my ears are still ringing a bit, which is distracting. It’s hard enough keeping focus on staying airborne. Thankfully, Twilight’s magic catches him just before he’d have gone splat against one of Cloudsdale’s roads.
Wait a minute. Cloudsdale?
“Starlight doesn’t even have wings,” Spike says as I finally manage to get the ringing in my ears to stop. “Why would she come here?”
“I don’t know Spike, but it seemed like she could fly just magic,” Twilight says, rubbing her chin in thought.
Wait, that mare can do what now? Figures out a spell Twi hasn’t used since season 2, created a spell that takes away Cutie Marks and now she can fly with her magic?
Eh. I can’t be too impressed with that last one, I guess. I mean, Pumpkin figured out she could fly with just her magic and she’s a freaking baby. Doesn’t really say much about Starlight if she’s getting her ideas for spells by copying infants.
Still, depending on when we are, Starlight, as dumb as she is, could still cause some serious problems.
“Keep your eyes open, guys,” Twilight pulls me from my thoughts and I look to her. “We don’t know what she has planned.”
No sooner has she finished this, than I’m nearly bowled over by a cyan blur.
Once I’m done spinning, I shake my head and frown. “Hey. That blur had a rainbow... mane?”
“Isn’t that... Rainbow Dash?” Spike looks from myself to Twilight, the latter of whom is looking really worried.
“Did Rainbow look really young to you? and... I didn’t see a Cutie Mark.”
As Spike takes a pair of binoculars out of the backpack he’s wearing, I duplicate them and follow his angle... only to feel really weirded out. I can see Rainbow and Fluttershy, both looking like fillies and with no Cutie Marks and... are those the bullies from Sonic Rainboom?
“You don’t think...?” I ask, not really sure if I should finish the question.
“...We travelled back in time to when Rainbow Dash raced the bullies who made fun of Fluttershy and performed her first Sonic Rainboom?” Spike says uncertainly.
Twilight facehoofs. “Spike, only Star Swirl the Bearded could do something like that, and even his spell just went back a week! How could Starlight do more than the greatest wizard in Equestria?”
As she says this, the scroll Spike grabbed back in the present floats down. I catch it in my magic and hand it to him.
He looks it over, his expression becoming stern, before showing it to the Alicorn. “With this.”
Twilight looks at it for a moment, before worry enters her eyes. “Star Swirl’s spell! Oh, no!”
“And it seems Starlight altered it somewhat,” I say, going over it with a faint tracing spell. “If I had some time, I could probably figure it all out. But, this is a really important moment in time, Twi. I dunno what Starlight intends to do here, but anything she does could cause a serious problem in our time.”
Spike puts the scroll in his bag, before starting off. “Come on, let’s go!”
Twilight and I look at each other, before looking to baby dragon. “Go where?”
“To watch the race,” Spike says matter-of-factly, “I don’t wanna miss the Rainboom! Whoa!” he cries out as he drops through the cloud, Twilight rolling her eyes as she catches him in her magic and levitates him up.
I roll my own eyes and cast the Cloud Walking Spell on him, before making wings appear on my back.
Both Twilight and Spike raise an eyebrow at me.
“What?” I shrug, flapping them and getting airborne. “We’re in Cloudsdale in the past, remember? An Earth Pony floating around would draw too much attention.”
“Good idea,” Twilight nods, before rising into the air herself. “Now, let’s go make sure nothing goes wrong with the race.”
A few minutes later, we’re standing on a cloud watching as the race starts. It seems, thanks to Spike riding on her back, nopony is question Twilight. Then again, these are kids, all focused on a big race, so I guess ignoring the Alicorn in the room, um, sky, is understandable.
The race starts, Fluttershy falling off the cloud and plummeting to the ground.
Twilight moves to fly after her, but Spike stops her.
I want to commend him for stopping her from falling... but I’ve always wondered just why those butterflies were flying around like that to begin with.
I teleport down and do a magic scan of the area. The is indeed a large swam of butterflies nearby, but they’re not flying around and Flutters is still falling.
I frown, before getting an idea. I grab a rock and toss it into the bush with the swarm of butterflies. At once, they all take to the air, gathering into a cluster and, seconds later, the shy foal lands on top of them all.
Grinning at having ensured time is flowing right down here, I teleport back to Twilight’s side and look for Rainbow in the race... only for my jaw to drop and my eyes to widen as I see Starlight floating above a cloud and firing a beam at Rainbow, halting her in place just a second before she’d have done the Rainboom and, moments later, the race ends with what’s his name, that bully with the high pitched voice, winning.
At once, Twilight and I nod to each other and we hurry towards Starlight, our eyes narrowed.
“What did you do?!” Twilight demands as the three of us glare at the unicorn.
Starlight just smirks. “You are about to find out.”
I sense the portal reopening and look up, only to be pulled into it, along with Spike and Twilight.
After being mad really dizzy, I grunt as I’m unceremoniously dropped onto the Map and tumble off onto the ground, the grass tickling my nose.
Wait, grass?
Urgh. I’d be able to focus more on that oddity if not for the splitting headache I’ve suddenly gotten. Man, what the heck? Something feels really wrong, like the magic in the air is... less harmonic, I guess?
“I don’t know what Starlight’s up to yet,” Twilight’s voices says from somewhere, but I’m still shaking my head, trying to relieve myself from the pain, “but we’d better figure it out before it’s too late.
“Um, Twilight?” Spike says as I open my eyes. “I think it already is.”
Twilight Sparkle gasps as I just stare, open-mouthed. The castles’ gone, like, just gone! The thrones and Map are still here, admitting the former mostly looking damaged and the Map’s glowing red for some reason, but everything else is gone!
“Uh, Twilight?” Spike asks, turning his head this way and that. “Where’s your castle?
Twilight turns to the crystal table still present. “The map pulled us back, but whatever Starlight did in the past changed things here!”
Spike cocked an eyebrow. “But why? And how did we get here? Where’s here?”
I look to Twilight and nod. She lights her horn, pulling the scroll out from Spike’s pack. “More like when.”
Spike folds his arms. “What do you mean?”
I facehoof. “Spike, it isn’t that freaking hard.”
Twilight nods, pointing to the scroll. “Starlight altered Star Swirl’s spell, then somehow used it on the map to travel into the past and change something!”
Yeah, she stopped the Rainboom and I’m getting a really bad feeling that was the stupidest thing she could’ve done. “Once she did, the map pulled us back to the present!”
Spike frowns in confusion. “So we’re back where— I mean, when we started?”
Twilight shakes her head as she walks over to the Map. “Not exactly. Everything’s different. Look. The map doesn’t even make sense anymore! The Crystal Empire takes up half of Equestria!”
“Which really doesn’t make sense and gives me the creeps,” I say, shuddering.
“Plus there’s the whole missing castle thing,” Spike indicates around us.
Frankly, I know there’re a lot of bronies who wouldn’t have minded seeing that. I was never one of them, myself.
“Right!” Twilight looks at the Map for a moment, before her expression becomes determined. “This is too big to handle on our own.”
“You think?” Spike asks, though I can’t tell if his being genuine or sarcastic.
“We need to find our friends and get help!” Twilight turns in the direction of Ponyville... which is looking less cheery than I remember, even from a distance.
A few minutes later, we walk into Ponyville, and I get an uncomfortable feeling as I look around. The grass looks like it’s dying and the houses seem to be in disrepair, with holes in their roofs and most windows are boarded up.
As we pass one house, Spike stops and turns. I follow his gaze and see Carrot Top looking out one of the windows.
Wait. Doesn’t she live on that small farm next to Sweet Apple Acres?
Spike waves and she quickly closes the curtains, causing me to raise an eyebrow.
“I’m gettin’ a bad feeling about this, Twilight,” Spike says as he and I resume following the Alicorn.
I have to agree. I’m getting really bad reminders of the Silent Ponyville series. I enjoyed them, at least the first two, but I don’t like being in a setting that makes me feel like I’m in them.
Twilight looks back at us. “I know, Spike,” she then smiles, “but this is Ponyville. How bad could things be?”
I facehoof as I float after them. You just had to jinx it, didn’t you?
As we reach the area where Sugar Cube Corner should be, I notice something very wrong with the building, just like the rest of the town. Not only does the bakery look like vibrant, but, instead of a cupcake sign, there’s a simple loaf of bread.
“Is that Sugar Cube Corner?” Spike asks, confused.
We stop in front of it, just staring for a moment.
Twilight shakes her head. “I don’t understand.”
Well, I think I do. Without the Rainboom, Pinkie likely never got inspired to spread happiness like in the original timeline, so never came to Ponyville... yeesh, seems the Cakes really needed her.
Spike suddenly gasps and runs off.
Twilight looks to me and I her, before I return my gaze to the drab looking bakery. What the heck is going on? Sure, without Pinkie, Ponyville wouldn’t be nearly as cheerful, but why does it look like Silent Ponyville around here?
We hurry after Spike to find him at Carousel Boutique, which, while boarded up like most of the other buildings around Ponyville, is still pretty colourful.
Huh. Guess Rarity still made it into the fashion world in some way, even without the Rainboom breaking open that boulder.
Twilight moves up to Spike and comforts him. “I don’t think she’s here, Spike. I’m not sure anything we know is the same.” Suddenly here eyes light up. “But I know one place that could never change!”
A few minutes later we’re standing outside of what should be Sweet Apple Acres. I say should be because, instead, I see a large, barn-like factory, spilling black smoke into the air.
I turn to Twilight with a deadpan expression. “Do you ever get tired of being wrong all the time?”
She frowns at me and we head through the gate and look inside the windows of the barn, after rubbing grim off of them first. Inside is something that reminds me of those factory settings from those old Disney and Warner Brothers cartoons.
Apples are being heated and turned into what I think is some manufactured cider... I think.
The three of us look to each other. What the heck is going on around here?
The sound of creaking wood draws our attention to an orange mare wearing camouflage attire, her tail tied back and held in a hairnet and her mane held back by a greyish-brown ribbon as well as another hairnet.
It takes a second for me to realize who it is, by which time, Twilight’s beaten me to the punch. “Applejack?!”
Applejack looks confused for a moment, before pushing Twilight, who’d just hugged her, away. “What can I do for you?”
I blink. Odd. Applejack said “I” not “Ah”. Well, without the Rainboom, I guess she didn’t get the inspiration to go home from Manehatten as soon, so stayed a while and wouldn’t have kept as much of her accent, depending on how long she lived there. Though, clearly, after some time, she just decided she’d come back anyway.
Twilight smiles as the other mare continues rolling a barrel of what I’m assume is either cider of just apples towards a cart. “It’s so good to see you! We couldn’t find Pinkie or Rarity or Fluttershy or Rainbow Dash, but I just knew you’d still be here!”
Applejack grunts as she gets the barrel up. “Of course I am. This is my home.” She then looks to us in confusion. “But who in tarnation is Pinkie Bow and Flutterdash?”
I find myself suppressing a snicker. Oh, if she only knew what those words can mean.
“Or you for that matter?” she finishes as she walks back past us.
Twilight’s expression saddens. “You... don’t know who I am?”
Well, I guess that would be right. Without the Rainboom, Twilight would never have become Celestia’s student. She’d still have been accepted into her School for Gifted Unicorns, but not as her personal student, so there would never have been a time she’d have been sent here to Ponyville to make friends and stop Nightmare Moon... which brings up the question of just what happened then.
If time’s changed, either Celestia found a way to beat Nightmare herself, or something else happened, since it’s daytime, so no eternal night and it’s been over a year since the 1000th Summer Sun Celebration.
I groan, rubbing my forehead. This is why I made sure never to drastically alter the timeline whenever I travelled through time. Trying to understand dramatic changes without any info yourself will give you a headache.
“Honestly, the only name I recognize is Rarity, but she left for Manehattan years ago,” Applejack’s voice pulls me from my train of thought and I’m thankful to change tracks.
Wait. Rarity went to Manehatten years ago?
Spike smiles. “Probably to become a world-famous fashion designer, I bet.”
Applejack shakes her head. “Not that I know of. Last I heard, she went to help with the cause like everypony else.”
I blink, cocking an eyebrow.
“The cause?” Twilight asks, seeming just as confused as I am.
Applejack looks blankly at us. “The war against King Sombra and the Crystal Empire?”
“What?!” the three of us cry at once, causing Applejack to flinch from our outburst.
War? Sombra? Huh?!
Applejack seems to recover and frowns. “Where have you three been?”
Spike smirks. “Actually, it’s when.”
Twilight looks firmly at the orange mare. “I know this is hard to believe, but you and I and those other ponies I mentioned are friends!”
Applejack cocks an eyebrow. “Did you bump your head on a crate of cider or somethin’?”
I groan, looking to Twilight with a deadpan. “Seriously, Twilight, there are easier ways to go about this. Besides, I’m still reeling from this war. I mean, war? Seriously? First I think we’re in Silent Ponyville, but it’s more like Fallout: Equestria? Seriously?”
The two mares and dragon all give me odd looks.
I blink, before shaking my head. Right. They don’t know about those. Probably better they don’t... though, if there is a war, like Applejack says, maybe she wouldn’t be too fazed by the latter of the two.
I shake my head again. “Look, whatever the case, we can show you something that’ll prove we’re not from here. Besides, how many Alicorns do you know exist?”
Applejack gives me a stern, but, for some reason, sad frown. “Ya mean nowadays?” she sighs. “After Princess Nightmare Moon died during a skirmish, only two.”
“WHAT?” Twilight and Spike glance at each other, while I step forward.
“You mean... Princess Luna never got reformed... but still fought for Equestria?”
The other Earth Pony nods, her expression sombre. “Yeah. Broke the princess’s heart, but, in the end, she fought for her subjects. That makes her a good ruler in mah books.”
I sigh, before looking firmly at her and pointing at Twilight. “Take a close look at this mare, Applejack. A good, hard look.”
She obliges, looking carefully at Twilight for several moments, before her eyes widen like saucers and her mouth hangs open. “A... another Alicorn? We’ve another princess? When did that happen?”
Twilight steps forward. “It’s a long story. Applejack, please come with us. Then, maybe we can help each other figure things out.”
The farm mare stares at the lavender mare for several more seconds, before shake her head and nodding. “Sure, Princess. Whatever ya say.”
Well, I’ll admit,” Applejack says a short while later as we’re standing before the Map and remains of the thrones, Spike sitting in what I think is Rarity’s, “I’ve lived in these parts my whole life and I’ve never seen this before.”
“There’s also supposed to be a castle that goes with it,” Spike adds.
Applejack looks to me and Twilight, as I stand on top of the Map. “But I still don’t see what this has to do with you and I bein’ friends.” she blinks, before gulping. “Uh, Your Highness.”
Twilight’s expression firms. “First, just call me Twilight. As for what this has to do with us being friends, another pony named Starlight Glimmer used this map to travel through time and change things in the past. For some reason, the map’s here but everything else is different!”
Applejack narrows her eyes at Twilight. “Different how?” Seems we touched a nerve, because she’s forgotten she’s glaring at royalty.
“Well, for one thing, where we come from, there’s no war with King Sombra.”
Wow, Twilight, from the saddened look on Applejack’s face, you still really don’t understand the concept of tacked.
“Maybe you could tell us how the war started?” I suggest, floating over and putting a hoof on the mare’s shoulder. “Then we can figure out when everything changed!”
Applejack nods. “That’s easy enough.”
She then explains to us what happened. When the Crystal Empire returned, it brought King Sombra back with it, just like in our time. However, it seems that, in this version, Cadance and Shining Armour couldn’t stop him. They tried, but barely got out of there alive.
And, with him not having been stopped, it didn’t take long for Sombra to force every one of his subjects to fight for him against Equestria, using some kind of mind control in order to make the Crystal Ponies fight for him. Though it seems he’s forgotten about the Umbrum and just wants to conquer Equestria.
She even mentioned ponies that, though she never gave names, I recognized as Rainbow, who apparently lost a wing during the war and now has a cool metal one and Maud and Pinkie, both of whom are badass fighters, are able to even smash a massive boulder to dust in seconds.
True, Maud did the same with a rock that was going to crush Pinkie, back in our timeline, but from the description of the battle she gave us that she’d heard about, the boulders the two were known for smashing during battle were more than twice the size of the one from our timeline. Cool!
Even Celestia is fighting on the front lines.
“I just can’t believe it!” Twilight shakes her head, before grabbing Applejack by the shoulders. “We stopped King Sombra! You and me and all of our friends!”
Applejack calmly pushes her off. “But we aren’t friends. At least not here.”
Twilight’s eyes sadden and she looks down. “Right.”
There’s silence for a moment, before Applejack sighs. “Look. I hope all this helped, but I really need to get back to cannin’ those apples.”
“Wait,” I ask, and she pauses, looking back at me. “Can you tell us what happened when Nightmare Moon came back? Or during the royal wedding...?”
I trail off, realizing something. Old Cheese Legs might be around. Note to self, go looking for that bitch after sorting all this out.
Applejack sighs again. “Wasn’t really there for much of it, so I can’t say, mahself. I know Nightmare Moon came back during the 1000th Summer Sun Celebration. The princess was ready for her though. She was caught and imprisoned underneath the castle in a magic resistant cage. At least, that’s what the papers said.”
“What about Discord, or the wedding between Princess Cadance and Shining Armour?” I ask. I want to know as much as I can.
She shrugs. “The weddin’ went fine. Apparently, the groom’s sister noticed sumthin’ off about the princess, who’d just happened to be her foalsiter when she was a filly and it was found out she was a creature called a Changeling. The queen, in fact. They found the real princess under the castle, trapped somewhere else so nopony going down to feed Nightmare Moon would notice her.”
She cocks an eyebrow.
“Though, who or what is Discord?”
Ah, right. Since the CMC likely never came together because their sisters never really became friends here, they never became the CMC and wouldn’t have gotten into that argument that would’ve set Discord free.
Either that or Celestia and Luna still being bound to the Elements is still keeping the spell holding him strong, even if Luna’s... dead.
I blink, before noticing something she didn’t mention. “What about the Changeling Queen. What happen to her?”
Applejack shrugs. “Got away. Not that she’s much of a worry these days. Doubt she’d be able to do much with the war goin’ on an’ all.”
“Yeah,” I say, looking down. “Guess you’re right.”
Silence returns, before Applejack sighs. “Look, I’m going now, okay? I still got work to do.”
Twilight steps up next to me, putting a foreleg around me as Applejack starts to walk off. “Thank you. We’re going to set things right.”
“I hope you do,” Applejack sighs again and walks off.
Twilight and I return to the Map, where Spike looks to us.
“So... how are we gonna set things right?” he asks as Twilight lets go and sits down in her dilapidated throne.
“I don’t know!” she cries, flopping her head against the table. “The only thing we know for sure is that Starlight stopped the Rainboom.”
“And that the map’s still here,” Spike points out.
Twilight gasps as her face lights up. “Spike, that’s it! The map is connected to the Tree of Harmony! It must sense that something isn’t right! That’s why it’s still here!”
Huh. Makes sense. And, Starlight used the Map in her spell. Guess she failed to realize that would give it an edge of sorts. Like I said, she’s not exactly smart.
“I’ll just use Starlight’s version of the spell and go back a little earlier and stop her before she even knows we’re there!
A loud screeching sound, like those of tires, rings out, before Twilight is no longer levitating the spell in front of her and it’s in front of myself.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa there, Sparkle,” I say, my tone scolding. “We can’t just up and go. This timeline will likely still be here, even if we don’t return to it.”
“Huh?” Spike looks from Twilight to me. “But, if we stop Starlight from stopping the Rainboom, we’ll go back to our time, not this one.”
I nod, my brow furrowed. “Exactly. We’ll be back in our time. That doesn’t stop this timeline from existing though, only us coming back to it. It’ll still exist, meaning these ponies will still be fighting a war they very well may lose against King Sombra.”
“But, what can we do?” Spike asks anxiously, looking between us all. “We’re just one Alicorn, a filly and a baby dragon. How can we stop a war?!”
I roll my eyes. “Um, Spike?” I levitate into the air and make a glass of chocolate milk appear in my outstretched hoof.
He blinks, before giving a sheepish smile. “Oh... right. Chaos Magic.”
Twilight frowns. “Normally, I wouldn’t like the idea of either you or Discord messing around with your Chaos Magic on such high levels, but, considering what we’ve been told about this timeline...” She sighs, before nodding. “Okay. We should make a plan.”
Twilight was caught off guard when Screwball suddenly burst out laughing.
“What?” she frowned at the chaotic filly. “We don’t want Sombra to get the better of us and we can’t just waltz in without letting the princess know at least.”
Screwball snickered. “Um, yeah, we can. Gimme a sec.”
Before Twilight could do anything, Screwball was gone.
“Well... that was unexpected,” Spike said, scratching his neck. “So... what do we do now? Go after her?”
Twilight groaned. “I don’t think that’d be wise, Spike. There’s no telling where she teleported to, or what her plans are, even she even has any. That filly always acts like she knows just what she’s doing, without any consideration for the consequences.”
“So, that’s a yes to waiting, then?”
Twilight went back to the Map and flopped her face down on it, giving a muffled and grumpy, “Yes.”
After about ten minutes, a popping sound told them Screwball had returned.
Looking towards the direction of the sound, they were both shocked to see Screwball... crying?
Quickly, Twilight got up and flew over, pulling the filly into a hug.
“Screwball, what happened?” she asked, worried. Screwball wasn’t known to cry. In fact, she only knew of one time, one Applejack had told her about, a story that had made her realize there was more to Screwball than just a fun-loving filly who cared for her family and had a vendetta against her abusive mother. Once again, it seemed she was being reminded of that.
Screwball sniffled. “Th-they... they killed him.”
“Huh?” Twilight asked, confused and worried further.
“Who?” Spike asked, having reached them.
“Sombra,” Screwball sobs, holding tightly onto Twilight. “I-I... I took the evil out of him and sent it and the Umbrum crystal, plus those still trapped, into Tartarus, I thought things would be fine. I even put the Crystal Heart back where it should be. But, where the Equestrian soldiers saw him, they attacked before I could do anything and killed him!”
There was silence for a few moments, save the sound of Screwball’s sadness.
Twilight felt horrified. Were the ponies in this timeline really that far gone, that they’d willingly kill another pony?
I mean, I guess it makes sense, she thought glumly. They were at war and, from the way Applejack described it, it wouldn’t be much to assume they’ve been living so long in the war that they have no choice.
After several hours, Screwball had cried herself to sleep.
“Um, should we wake her up and go back in time now or...?” Spike asked uncertainly.
Twilight sighed, shaking her head. She levitated Screwball onto her back, before heading in the direction of town. “No, Spike. We’ll spend the night here in town, then go back in the morning. It should be some time before news reaches here that the war’s over, by which time, we’ll be long gone.”
Spike nodded anxiously and followed after the mare, his eyes on Screwball’s body lying prone across the Alicorn’s back.
Her Actions Change Everything Each Time? Well, that’s both good and ANNOYING AS FUCK!
“You sure you’re okay, Screwy?” Spike asked in a concerned tone as we reach where the Map is.
“I’m... better,” I say, not looking at either him or Twilight.
It’s late afternoon on our second day in this alternate timeline Starlight created. I hadn’t been in the best of ways after... well, after my actions caused what happened once Sombra was no longer a threat to this world.
It had taken all the day after I woke for Twilight and Spike to convince me I wasn’t in the wrong. I keep forgetting not everything can be fixed so easily with my powers, and this world proved that.
I was too hasty. I didn’t even think about how dangerous it would be for Sombra once I took out the evil controlling him. I should’ve taken him to the Crystal Castle and removed it there, not right on the battle field.
How would anypony have guessed he wasn’t evil? I was so quick to free him, I didn’t once consider that... and, because of my actions, Hope truly lost the pony she cares about, forever.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she hates my guts and wants me dead.
“Screwball, I know it’s hard, but just remember what I told you,” Twilight says as we stop next to the Map. “You just have to be a little less hasty. You wanted to end the war quickly, that’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
I keep staring at the ground. “But...”
“No buts, little missy,” she lifts my chin so I’m looking her in the eyes. “You are a good pony, Screwball. You did your best to keep your sister safe when your mother was trying to control you both, you’ve helped our Equestria probably more times than I can count or even know about, knowing you, and you made sure that your mother couldn’t keep her hold on your sister when the courts finally came in. You got all the evidence and you didn’t hide anything from them. You’re a good pony. What you did was hasty and did lead to some bad things in this timeline, but your actions were for the right reasons. That’s what matters. And now, I need you to help me make sure Starlight doesn’t bring another version of this timeline,” she indicates around us, “and we get our own timeline back on track.”
“Um, I’ve been meaning to ask about that,” Spike interrupts. “If Screwball can hope from one reality to another, why doesn’t she just take us all back to our timeline.” He folds his arms, scowling. “Leave Starlight here to deal with her own mistakes. Let her pay for trying to take away our friends.”
“Spike!” Twilight scolds.
I sigh, shaking my head. “I can’t.”
“Huh?” they both look to me.
I shake my head, glaring at the ground in frustration. “I tried the moment you guys talked me down today. But, it’s like when I tried to return to the world my mind came from. It’s like I’m being stopped, something is forcing me to not just take us away. The Rules of Chaos, for whatever stupid reason, are making it so we have to use Starlight’s spell and stop her if we want to go back to our time! URGH! I hate the Rules of Chaos! I’m with Spike! I just wanna leave that bitch here in this timeline she created! Let her deal with her own problems!”
Twilight gives me the same scolding glare she did Spike, before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, levitating up the scroll with the spell on it. “Alright. Like I suggested yesterday, we’re going back to a little before Starlight arrived in the past, so we’ll be able to stop her before she even knows we’re there.”
Whoa. Why’d I just get a chill, as if Twilight just invoked Murphy’s Law?
I shake it off, before setting my face in a determined glare. Fine. So, we won’t be leaving Starlight here, but that doesn’t mean I won’t make her pay for what happened here. She’s going to learn the consequences of her actions like I did, even if it kills her.
...
I’m actually a little scared by the fact a part of me doesn’t mind the idea that it might come to that. I don’t think I ever even felt that way about Spoiled. Yikes.
Twilight casts the spell and we fly through the Time Vortex, before dropping out where in the sky, both Twi and Spike screaming again, but a grab them both in my magic, before Twilight remembers to flap her wings and takes Spike in her own magic.
“Now all we have to do now is find Starlight and—”
Twilight doesn’t get to finish her sentence, as we’re suddenly engulfed by a blast of blue magic, and I find myself, along with the other two, trapped in a block of crystal that hits the clouds and very slowly starts sinking.
“Well, finding her will be easy,” a voice that sounds muffled due to the crystal says, and I glance to my right, to which Twilight and Spike are on to see Starlight floating over, “but stopping her’s going to be harder than you think.”
How did she...? Oh. I facehoof, despite the crystal holding me in place. Dumbass! She made the alterations to the spell. If she’s smart enough to have figured that out, of course she’d have a backup plan in case we tried to use it against her.
Hell, she even left it behind instead of taking it with her. She probably wanted us, well, Twilight at least, to be pulled back in time so she’d be forced into whatever timeline stopping the Rainboom created.
I am such an idiot! Right. Feeling sorry for myself time is over. I am not holding back against this bitch!
“Sorry to disappoint you,” she says, floating over, “but I created that spell to send myself back in time. So even when you cast it, I still get sent back here.”
Well, may as well let her blab her plan. She’s a villain and that’s what they do, after all. Plus, it’ll be easier not to fuck anything up when trying to stop her if I know her actual plan. Where better to learn that than straight from the horse’s mouth?
“It wasn’t difficult to change Starswirl’s spell,” Starlight continues, “he’d already done the hard part. But figuring out I could use the map to go to any time or place and pull you along with me?” She laughs. “I even impressed myself with that.”
She smirks down at Twilight.
“I knew you’d try to stop me. You’re so predictable. Why else would I leave the scroll behind? Touching it triggered the map to whisk you here and watch me erase the one thing that linked you with your friends.”
Huh. I called it. She is smarter than I thought. Still pretty dumb, though. Did she never read up about Twi and the others? If she did, she’d know this is the stupidest thing she could do to get revenge, as all of Equestria will pay the price, not just Twilight.
Her sneer becomes just plain evil, then, suddenly, her expression becomes angry as she lands on top of our crystal prison. “My village was a sanctuary of equality, where nopony’s Cutie Mark allowed them to feel superior!”
More like didn’t allow anypony to be themselves. And, didn’t feel superior? Says the pony who put herself in power in the village and forced them to be the same and punished them whenever they did something wrong. Man, do villains even hear themselves when they talk?
Starlight looks up with what I can only guess is a... wistful look? “It was a special place,” then she glares down at us, though her face disappears as we sink further into the cloud, “and you and your friends took it away!”
I’m glancing down, thinking, maybe, if she keeps talking, we’ll drop, I can break us out and we can jump her. But that plan is kinda ruined when Starlight floats down in front of us again. Dammit.
“Now it’s my turn to take something special from you!” she points at Twilight. “Without the Rainboom, you and your friends with never form your special Cutie Mark bond. Cutie Marks for Cutie Marks!” she shakes what would be a fist if she didn’t have hooves at us. “Sounds like a fair trade t’ me.”
Fair? Good God, I could give her a nine hour long speech on how that isn’t the least bit fair in any sense of the word.
Starlight taps the crystal and we fall.
Once I’m certain we’re far enough down that Starlight won’t try and jump us again, I poof the crystal away.
“TWILI-HI-HI-HI-HI-LIGHT!” We both glance down to see Spike still falling.
Um... oops?
Twilight shoots down, grabbing him in a foreleg after he falls through several small clouds. Why she didn’t just grab him with her magic... I dunno.
They both fly up to where I’m floating with my illusion wings flapping to give the impression I’m a Pegasus and we hurry towards where Dash and those colts will be racing. We’ll wait until Starlight is about to zap Dash, then I’ll poof her over and smack her upside the jaw.
We move from cloud to cloud, searching for where Starlight could be hiding in wait to stop Rainbow Dash again, whilst Twilight tells us we have to be ready to stop her the moment Dash and the colts fly by.
However, Spike gets our attention and points to a spot where Starlight isn’t hiding to stop Dash... but talking to Fluttershy and the colts?!
We all zip down, getting within range to where I hear Starlight saying... something that almost floors me.
“Just remember how you’d feel if someone said those things to you.” As she finishes, the colt versions of Dumb-Bell and Hoops seem saddened.
What the hell did she just tell them?!
We land, Twilight demanding, “What’s going on here?”
I can’t help feeling kinda bad for Fluttershy, who, when Twilight lands, gets an anxious look (an adult pony she doesn’t know lands in front of her speaking in a stern tone, it makes sense she’s been a little scared, even if it weren’t Fluttershy) and backs up a few steps closer to Starlight.
Starlight gets a mockingly sweet smile on her face “Oh, I was just reminding these two colts how hurtful teasing can be.”
Wait, she was what? That doesn’t even make sense!
Twilight’s eyes narrow. “Well, don’t!”
I join the other three foals in saying, “Huh?”
Twilight blinks, uncertainty entering her expression. “I mean... you were?”
Starlight nods. “Of course! In a world where everypony is unique, some are bound to feel,” she starts gently mussing up Fluttershy’s mane and I have to resist the urge to literally bite her leg off, “more special than others. But that isn’t a license to be cruel,” she gives us a sinister smirk, “is it?”
Twilight looks really uncertain. “No, of course not...”
Trying to think of a way to get this situation working in our favour, I glance back to the three foals... when I’m suddenly struck with a thought. Neither of these three know Twilight at this time, which would mean...
A sly smirk forms on my own lips, mirroring Starlight’s. Oh, she done fucked up, big time.
“Um, I’ve a question,” I interrupt in an innocent tone, like a foal asking a teacher a question, even raising my hoof as if in class.
Starlight gives me that fake sweet smile. “Yes?”
I look to the other three foals. “Um, you do realize we’re all in the presence of royalty, right?”
A look of confusion passes over all of the others, Starlight’s turning into a confused frown as I indicate to Twilight.
A second later, the other three foals gasp and all bow.
“Wha-what are you doing?” Starlight turns to them, her tone more annoyed than before.
“She’s a princess,” Hoops says, before standing back up. “We’re all meant to bow to a princess.”
“Are you new?” Dumb-Bell asks, looking at Twilight in curiosity. “I don’t remember hearing anything about a new Alicorn princess.”
Starlight is staring with her mouth hanging open in shock as I give her a smug smirk. Oh, yeah. Didn’t think that one through too well, did ya, bitch?
Twilight nods. “I am new. Um...” she looks to me with an expression that asks “What do I do now?”
I just smile calmly to the three foals. “Well, I think the princess would like you two,” I indicate to the two colts, “to race that filly, Rainbow Dash.”
“Race Rainbow Cra...?” Hoops begins, before trailing off, looking uncertain and ashamed about something.
I cock an eyebrow. “What?”
“We probably shouldn’t call her Crash,” Dumb-Bell says, looking just as ashamed. “It’s not nice.”
Starlight gets a twinkle in her eyes and I see the problem, but also a quick solution.
“True, but what about racing her? No harm in that, right?”
“I dunno,” Hoops rubs his neck. “She’s a pretty fast flyer, really. I don’t think we’d stand much of a chance.”
Oh, God damn you, Starlight Glimmer! You taught these two to be nice and now it’s harder to get them to race. Think, Screwball, think! You’re running out of time!
“Well, I think you could at least give her a good run for her money,” Twilight thankfully comes to my rescue, giving a playful smile. “In fact, as a princess of Equestria, I hereby request you, Hoops and Dumb-Bell, to race Rainbow Dash. And maybe Fluttershy would like to start the race?”
Fluttershy squeaks, but has a cute smile on her face.
“Um, okay, then,” Hoops says, looking towards the sky, no doubt looking for Rainbow.
“No!”
The three foals yelp and take a few steps back from Starlight’s angry outburst.
She quickly tries to calm down, but you can see the worry entering her eyes and the nervous smile isn’t making her act any more convincing. “You can’t race her! You’re not as fast. She’ll beat you easily!”
Twilight frowns. “Hey. That’s no way to speak to foals!”
Starlight glares at her, her horn flaring. “They will not race her!”
Suddenly, a bubble of magic appears around the three. They cry out in alarm, Fluttershy the most terrified of them all.
“Hey, let us out!” Hoops demands, banging on the bubble while Dumb-Bell tries to comfort Fluttershy.
“Starlight, stop this right now and let them go!” Twilight demands.
The unicorn glares back at her. “No! I refuse to let you and your friends form your bond!”
Before I can react, Spike and Twilight are pulled through the portal, which suddenly opened up above them, taking them to that war future Starlight stopping the Rainboom caused last time.
I turn to her, snarling. “You’ll pay for that, Starlight Glimmer!”
“Try me, little filly!” she gives me a sinister grin. “I stopped the Rainboom, regardless of how it happened!”
“Leave Fluttershy alone!”
I blink. I know that voice.
Before I can properly respond, there’s a massive boom and I’m blinded by colour right after seeing a cyan blur smash into Starlight.
The boom sends me tumbling backward, before I notice the sound of screams as well as become aware of the wind rushing against my face.
Shaking my head, I look around and realizing I’ve been blowing off the clouds, as have the other three foals, likely due to Starlight’s spell breaking when that blur smashed into her.
Regaining my bearings, I grab Hoops and Dumb-Bell in my magic, looking around frantically for Fluttershy, only to see her several feet below, being carried by a flock of butterflies.
Huh. Guess whatever that boom was startled them like I did before. Well, at least that went according to— wait a minute!
I look up, seeing the remnants of a Rainboom dissipating in the sky.
“What just happened?” Dumb-Bell asks as I hold him and Hoops in place while my brain goes a million miles a second.
The Rainboom happened... but it was sooner than it should’ve been. Likely, filly Twilight isn’t actually in her exam yet... but, that doesn’t stop her from having become Celestia’s student. Heck, I’m sure she still was startled enough Celestia will have noticed her.
Rarity and Applejack? Yeah, they’re probably good now. Pinkie, most likely. That just leaves Fluttershy and maybe Rainbow, if she didn’t just get her mark now. Speaking of which...
“Hey! That crazy unicorn’s still holding us in her magic!” Hoops’ voice catches my attention.
Whoops.
I let them go and they fall for a moment, before catching themselves.
“Hey! Where’d Fluttershy go?!” Dumb-Bell asks in a worried tone.
I point down and both their eyes widen in fear, before they shoot down in that direction.
Hmm. Starlight’s actions may not have been so bad this time around, if I didn’t know where the future leads, that is.
Glaring, I fly off, following the contrail left behind when Dashie hit Starlight. I find Starlight glaring as she holds the filly in her magical grip.
“Starlight Glimmer!” she turns at the sound of my scream, only to be met with my hoof as it smashes into her.
We both tumble through the air, myself keeping a firm grip on the older mare.
“Do you have any idea what you meddling with the timeline did last time?!” I snarl.
She snorts. “Didn’t get the chance before I was whisk back when Twilight used my spell.”
Wait. So, she doesn’t know about the war with the Crystal Empire? Oh, my God! That means she has no clue how horrible her actions are!
Before I’m given more of a chance to think about this, the time portal opens up and Starlight is whisked back through, myself being pulled along for the ride.
I don’t get to gain my bears though, as Starlight tosses me off of her and I feel myself collide with something soft, hearing a pair of familiar grunts, before I feel a light Sleep Spell getting put on me, too fast for my confused mind to catch up on enough to stop.
“This’ll keep you three quiet for a bit!” is the last thing I hear, before everything goes dark.
Gonna Have to Thank Starlight for Letting me Vent Some Anger on Cheese Legs, even if not the Same One.
Phew. Even if it was weak, I was still able to make the spell so I woke up fast. I don’t know how fast, but I don’t care right now.
“Screwball! Thank goodness you’re alright!”
I’m suddenly glomped into a hug by the princess.
“Twilight, what the fuck?!” I cry, struggling to pull out from her grip. Then, I realize what I just said and look up to her sadly. “Twilight! I... I’m sorry you had to go back to that future.”
Twilight shakes her head, though doesn’t look as sad as you’d expect after heading into that timeline again. “We didn’t.”
I blink, before cocking an eyebrow. “Come again?”
“The future Starlight sent us to wasn’t that one with the war against the Crystal Empire,” Spike says from atop her back. “In that one, things are sort of normal.”
I frown. “Sort of normal?”
Twilight sighs, letting me go, her eyes dejected. “In that future, Sunset Shimmer won against Celestia. She came back through the mirror, finished Starswirl’s spell and became an Alicorn, overthrowing the princess.”
I just stare, not sure if I’m processing that right.
After a moment, I frown and swipe a foreleg in front of myself, opening up a magic screen full of little dots. One blinks and I see what Twilight means. Sunset is an Alicorn in that timeline and did take over... after sending Celestia into the EQG world and trapping her there by smashing the mirror?!
“Right. Remind me, after we’ve stopped Starlight, to go to that world and fix the mirror,” I tell Twilight, before my words catch up with me. “Oh, shit! Starlight! We gotta stop her before she stops the Rainboom again, like now!”
We take off, finding Starlight once again talking with Fluttershy and the colts, but they seem to be wrapping up. As we get closer, I hear Hoops saying something to Fluttershy that, if not for what happened earlier, I never would’ve thought could come out of his mouth.
“Come on, Fluttershy. Maybe I can help you get through the course this time.”
“Well, I-I sure could use the practice...” Fluttershy says as the three trot off just as Twilight and I land in front of Starlight.
“Wait,” I call out, but they’re talking amoungst themselves and don’t seem to hear me.
Crap!
“I know you only convinced those bullies to not tease Fluttershy to stop the Rainboom!” Twilight’s voice causes me to turn and glare at Starlight.
Said unicorn is smiling at Twilight in a mocking manner. “Oh, that’s not true. I convinced them not to be bullies because everypony should be equal.” She glares. “Stopping the Rainboom is just a bonus.”
“Look!” Spike’s voice grabs my attention and I see Rainbow flying nearby.
Twilight glares at Starlight. “This isn’t over yet!” she says, before flying off.
Starlight sneers, calling, “If you say so!”
“If I didn’t have to clean up your mess right now, I would so make you suffer right now, Glimmer!” I snarl, pointing a hoof at her.
She just glares back. “Didn’t stop me before. What makes you think you three can this time?”
I glare, before flying off after Twilight. I manage to catch up to her, finding her chatting with filly Rainbow Dash.
“...you want to race?” Twilight’s asking as I stop.
Rainbow frowns. “Um, that wouldn’t really be fair. I mean, you’re a full-grown pony, and...” She trails off, before her eyes widen. “Wait. Are you an Alicorn?”
Ah. Okay, this can work. I’m a filly, so Dash will have no problems with wanting to race me. All Twilight has to do is correct Dash and I’ll make her have to fly so fast to beat me that she’ll create the Rainboom and—
Twilight puts a foreleg around Rainbow. “Come on, I thought you were fast!”
I facehoof. Okay. This might not work as well as I’d hoped. For such a smart pony, Twilight can be so stupid, sometimes.
Dash gets a nervous look, which I can’t blame her for, really, before backing away as she pulls out from Twilight’s hold. “Uh, actually, I just remembered I have somewhere I need to be.”
And she flies off.
Way to blow it, Sparkle.
Before I can say anything though, Twilight flies after Dash. Well, this can’t go wrong, can’t it?
“Okay, listen,” she’s saying as I catch up. “You don’t have to race me. I just need you to fly fast enough for a Sonic Rainboom!
Rainbow stares at her in shock. “What?! I can’t do that! Nopony can! It’s not even a real thing! It’s just an old mare’s tale!”
“But it’s not! I know it’s not! I’ve seen you do it!” Twilight flies really close to her. “In the future!” and finished by... twirking her eyebrows? What the fuck?!
“Ooookay...” Rainbow days, looking and sounding understandably creeped out, “I’m gonna go now.”
“No!” Twilight calls as the filly flies off. “Wait!”
Twilight looks down sadly.
“Gee, Twilight,” Starlight’s voice says before I can say anything, “what’s the matter? Couldn’t convince her to do the impossible? That’s too bad.”
We turn around, Twilight looking like she had something rude to say, before the portal opens and we’re pulled back through it.
We all grunt as the portal dumps us on the Map and we tumble off it, myself only bothering to pay the slightest attention to the fact that it’s glowing all green.
“Well, that didn’t work,” Spike says as we all get up.
“This is gonna be harder than I thought.” Twilight says as she puts a hoof on the Map. “We’ll have to try again!”
“Not that we’d have to if you’d just used some fucking common sense!” I snarl.
“Huh?” Twilight looks at me in shock.
I snort. “I’m a filly, Twilight! You suggested a race to Rainbow and she made a point to you about you being an adult while she’s a filly! You could’ve gotten her to race me, because I’m around the same age she was! Hell, you could’ve even used the fact she realized you’re an Alicorn to convince her to race me! I could’ve easily gotten her to do the Rainboom!”
I toss my head.
“But, instead, you keep talking to her as if you weren’t at an age where a filly would be creeped out by that and even fucking twirked your eyebrows at her! What the fuck was that?! Any kid would with half a brain would have the words Strange Danger blaring in their minds after that! And you’re supposed to have been Celestia’s star pupil?! How, when you make such a dumb as fuck mistake as that?!”
“Guys?”
“What?!” I yell, turning to Spike. “After what she just pulled, I—”
My words are cut off when several spears are pointed at my neck.
Several ponies are surrounding us, including Berry Punch, Carrot Top, Bon Bon and Note Worthy coming up from behind and—
“Pinkie?” Twilight gasps. “Fluttershy?”
Pinkie shoves a spear closer to Twilight. “Silence, changeling!”
Changeling? What?
They’re all wearing some kind of green salve in patterns on the bodies and faces. They look like warriors from a stereotypical jungle tribe.
“All servants of Queen Chrysalis found in these woods must be... destroyed!” Fluttershy says.
...
I think I just peed myself in fear a little.
How in the...? Since when did Fluttershy grow a pair of ovaries?! The... did Discord make her the opposite— No, wait. She’s normal. I don’t sense any effects of Chaos Magic around her.
But... what the fuck?! Fluttershy openly saying, without a shred of uncertainty, that she’s willing to kill?!
Good, Lord, maybe this world is worse than that Sombraverse after all. Holy fuck!
Twilight waves her hooves frantically. “Wait! We’re not changelings! She and I are ponies!” she indicates to her and myself, then Spike. “And he’s a dragon!
Pinkie Pie comes right up to Spike, pointing her spear what would be alarmingly close to his neck if, ya know, he wasn’t a dragon. “ A likely story! Do something dragonish!”
Spike responds immediately by belching smoke with the hints of flames behind them into the mare’s face.
Pinkie Pie coughs, before wheezing, “That works!” and backs away a bit.
Fluttershy thrusts her spear forward. “The servants of Chrysalis will do anything to save their evil skins!”
All fear I was experiencing vanishes and I find myself deadpanning. Really? Spike proves he’s a dragon and they accuse us of being Cheese Legs’ servants?
I take it back. Fluttershy is bolder... but clearly lost some of her intellect in order to gain that boldness.
“Well, you all just lost your edge over...” I trail off, as whom she just mentioned clicks... and a slow, sinister sneer starts forming on my face.
It clearly doesn’t go unnoticed, as the Tribe Ponies, as I’ll nickname them, all tense up, some looking a little nervous.
Twilight looks my way and flinches back.
“Uh... Sc-Sc-Screwball?” Spike asks, shaking where he stands. “Wh-what’s going on?”
I gave a creepy, light giggle. “I get to have my revenge sooner than I’d hoped, even if in an alternate timeline.”
“Screwball,” Twilight says in that tone you give someone when you’re trying to get them not to do something they really don’t want you to do and are nervous what your reaction will do, “now really isn’t the time to make these ponies have any other reasons to not trust us.”
I glance at her, then back at the Tribe Ponies, my expression switching right to nonchalant. “Why? How am I supposed to be scared of a bunch of ponies waving liquorice sticks topped with marshmallows?”
As Fluttershy jabs her spear in my direction, it goes a bit floppy, it and all the others’ spears literally turning into liquorice sticks topped with marshmallow spear heads.
“Wh-what the—?” Bon Bon cries, looking at her spear.
“What kind of twisted magic is this?!” Note Worthy says, glaring at me. “Since when could you Changelings do this?!”
“Stop!” the sudden additional voices causes us all to look up and... what the heck? Zecora’s standing on an outstretched branch, with a massive Mohawk and wearing salve like the others, though hers has a big green H between her eyes... for some reason. “If they are changelings we’ll soon see.” She hops down, landing in front of us. “Though I think they’re not what they appear to be.”
Twilight visibly relaxes a little. “Zecora! Please, you have to listen.”
Zecora holds up a hoof, shushing her, before taking a wooden bowl off the vine-like belt around her waist, dipping her hoof into it. “Beneath this salve, no changeling hides, for it reveals the truth inside.”
She paints all three of us, my designs looking like swirly patterns going up my body, criss-crossing around my eyes and legs.
At once, all three of us start glowing with a green light. Hmm. This salve seems to know we’re not from this version of the timeline. Interesting.
The reaction of the salve causes the Tribe Ponies to gasp and quickly back away.
Pinkie is the only one brave enough to step closer to Zecora. “What does it mean?”
Zecora frowns in thought for a few moments, before stepping closer to us, then looking out at the ponies. “The meaning is far worse, I see, for it is we who should not be.”
Twilight nods. “I think I can explain.”
Zecora nods back. “I’m sure you can, but let’s not talk here. Chrysalis and her army will soon draw near!”
“Good,” I grin, punching one hoof into the flat of the other. “Bring ’em on. I’ve been meaning to pay them back for what they did.”
Zecora gives me a contemplative look, before shaking her head. “You may wish to fight them here, but losing those in my care is something I fear.” She comes closer, looking me in the eyes with a stern stare. “You may have no quarrels with risking your life, but do you wish to cause you two friends or my charges further strife?”
I frown, folding my forelegs. “Fine. But first chance I get, I’m taking those insects out, permanently. I gave them a chance for the better, and they threw it back in my face. All bets are off.”
She nods, before we head off, myself deciding to walk, just in case a Changeling is nearby that I can’t sense. With the way the energy is so odd in this timeline, it could be messing with my ability to tell when a Changeling is near or not.
As we walk through the forest, with several ponies always scouting ahead before we move on, Zecora explains to us what happened.
The wedding never got a chance to happen. During the events of what Zecora describes as a very different version of Dragonshy, Celestia herself went to deal with the dragon. But when she went back to Canterlot, it was already overrun by the Changelings and she was soon captured and, with Sunbutt out of the way, Queen Cheese Legs just outright invaded all of Equestria.
“The changelings took over not long ago. Though I’ll wager in your world that isn’t so.”
Twilight Sparkle shakes her head, myself walking a little ahead of her so I can hear the conversation. “Chrysalis and her army tried to take over Canterlot, but my friends and I stopped her.”
“Sorry, but... no ya didn’,” I say bluntly. “Cadance and Shining Armour stopped her. You guys got yer asses handed to ya.”
Zecora shakes her head. “Those friends as you know them are not here, alas. But tell me how all this came to pass.”
Twilight Sparkle looks down. “Starlight Glimmer, a pony who traveled back in time to stop my friends and me from ever coming together!”
Zecora cocks an eyebrow. “And it is these friends you have in life that keep Equestria free from strife?”
Twilight looks away with uncertainty. “I guess so. But this is the third time I’ve come back and this world is even worse than the first one! The one right before this wasn’t as bad, but it still wasn’t a good one. If Starlight keeps doing the same thing in the past, how could the present be so different?”
Zecora smiles sagely, stopping near a very small stream of water, more like a trick, really. “Ah. Time is a river, where even the tiniest changes seen,” she places a hoof in the water’s path, causes the way it flows to change, “can lead to a cascade of effects downstream.”
I roll my eyes. “Really, Twilight, that’s time law basics 101. Have you never read Alien Alicorns and Space Pirates?”
Twilight gives me a deadpan look. “The science there is preposterous. Why would I read something so ridiculous?”
I cock an eyebrow. “This coming from the time travelling Alicorn Princess.”
She frowns and we remain silent for the rest of the trip.
Several minutes later, Zecora stops in front of a large clump of vines hanging from a tree. “This part of the forest is dark and damp, but it’s done well to hide our camp.”
As she speaks, she parts the vines, revealing a small forest village. I look around, spotting several ponies I recognize, Raindrops, Sparkler, Miss Cheerilee, among others... but not Diamond or Daddy.
I look down sadly at that, trotting along with the rest as we walk into the village, before my eyes shoot open.
I sense a Changeling! And it’s close! Right here, in the village close!
I quickly turn my head this way and that, trying to find them, before my eyes narrow in on a cream Pegasus filly with a purple mane and tail and no Cutie Mark.
Gotcha.
Before I can say anything, however, a very familiar shriek rings out and I turn my head to see Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Applejack hurrying out from some nearby bushes... looking rather raggedy.
“Please!” the alabaster mare says. “You have to help us!”
Rainbow Dash catches her breath. “The changelings attacked Ponyville! We barely escaped with our lives!”
I find myself deadpanning. Really? That’s their best lie?
Thanks to already looking for Changelings and just spotting the little spy, the moment they came close I got another three signals for Changleings.
And, if the invasion happened as long ago as Zecora told us, Ponyville would’ve been gone ages ago. Do they think this village is stupid?
I blink, suddenly noticing how one of the three feels different from the other two, it’s the one in the back, disguised as AJ.
I stare for several moments, before that sneer I was wearing back at the Map slinks onto my face again and I start giggling.
“Hey!” “Dash” yells, glaring at me. “What, you think our home being destroyed is funny?”
The others are all looking at me too, Zecora with a frown that tells me she has an idea why I’m giggling, but doesn’t approve, not that I care for her approval on this.
“You can drop the act, Queen Cheese Legs,” I sneer at “AJ”, who gives me a curious raised eyebrow. “Zecora, care you explain?”
The zebra nods, before looking firmly at the three supposed ponies. “The only changeling attack I see is the one that come here looking for me!”
Applejack smirks, stepping forward. “It’s taken quite a while to find you, Zecora.”
She starts laughing, but is cut off when her disguise vanishes with a farting sounding.
“What in the...?” she frowns, glancing to the two ponies standing behind her, who shrug.
“What? You thought I was going to let you make a big, intimidating entrance?” I give her a cocky grin. “Not likely. Frankly, you should’ve taken on the Rarity disguise. You’re more of a drama-queen than she ever was, so it’d have fit you better.”
She gawks at me for a moment, clearly struggling to find words due to the shock of a filly talking smack to her.
I chuckle. “Oh, and don’t think you’re little surprise attack is gonna work. Since we know it’s you, you’re chances of tricking us to lowering our guard is gone.”
Cheese Legs sneers. “So, you figured out who I am. Too bad it was too late.”
At once several of the Tribe Ponies step forward, their spears (which I changed back after Zecora gave us the all clear back near the Map), aimed at the queen.
She chortles. “Come now, Zecora. You’re clearly outnumbered.”
As she speaks, the two “ponies” with her drop their disguises, revealing Changelings.
A few moments pass and the Changeling Queen blinks in confusion, a slight frown crossing her face as she looks up.
“What? You thought you’d ambush us?” she turns to me as I give her a sly smirk. “You really aren’t putting two and two together here, are you, Cheese Legs.”
Her brow narrows. “Stop calling me that.”
I snicker. “Make me, Cheese Legs.”
She pulls her lips back in a snarl, before glaring at the Changeling on her right. “Where are the troops?!”
He looks nervously from her to the sky. “I... I don’t know, you’re Highness,” he says in a deep voice that takes me a little by surprise.
I’ve already met many Changelings and personally know three and none of their voices sound as, well, normal as his. They all have a kind of highish sound.
I notice the Changeling disguised as a filly looking uncertainly at the Changeling that had spoken, as if worried for him.
Frowning, I focus more on that Changeling... and notice something odd and familiar. It’s Pharynx, a scout who’s job in the hive was to guard it, along with others, of course, who, after I’d taken the Changelings in our timeline to the Empire, had gone into the Crystal Royal Guard... and likely was the one who informed Cheese Legs of my disappearance, now that I think about it.
Huh. Strange. He’s still wearing a disguise. Unlike most other Changelings, Pharynx has purple eyes, a purple back and wings and a red fin on his head and for his tail, unlike all the usual light-blue eyes and wings, blue back and black fin and tail Changelings normally have, but, after dropping his pony disguise, he’s wearing another that makes him look like every other Changelings.
Guess, Cheese Legs doesn’t want him to stand out or something.
I shake my head. I can worry about that some other time, for now... I’m gonna have some fun.
“So, Cheese Legs,” I say, grinning at the irritation on her face as I continue with that moniker, “just what have you done since taking over Equestria? I want as much as I can put on your rap sheet, after all.”
She gives me an odd look, before smirking. “And you think you can stop me? That purple unicorn though so too before...” She trails off, having noticed Twilight in the crowd. Her eyes widen in both shock and... confusion? “What? You’re alive?! How? And... how and when did you become and Alicorn?!”
I would laugh at her shock of seeing Twilight as an Alicorn, but my mind is caught on something else she said.
The air around me goes could as I feel equal amounts of shock and rage. “Alive? ALIVE?! YOU KILLED TWILIGHT?!”
She looks back to me, her expression souring. “Clearly not as well as I’d thought.”
There’s silence for a few moments, before I giggle. But it isn’t a childish one like before. It’s heavy, something little children really shouldn’t make.
It causes the ponies from the village to back up slightly and even Cheese Legs seems a little off-put.
“I guess this is one thing I’ll have to thank Starlight for,” I say nonchalantly, floating up into the air. “Even if you’re not the exact same Cheese Legs from my timeline, I can still have my fun.”
“Get her!” she orders, pointing a hoof at me.
Her two cronies charge, only to freeze in place, literally, before dropping to the ground.
She blinks, confusion playing over her.
I start to giggle softly, the sound rising with every few seconds. “Tick tock, goes the clock and what now, shall we play? Tick tock, goes the clock, for all the evil you’ve done, the time has come for you to pay.”
At once, the Changeling Queen shrieks as her legs suddenly bend upwards, horrible, loud cracking sounds coming from them, before she collapses due to having nothing to stand with.
Everypony stares in horror as I slowly advance on her, my face pulled back in a twisted sneer as my body shifts into my anthro self.
“Scary, isn’t it?” I ask, as she stares at me with eyes filled with pain. “Having no control, not being able to just do what you want? Being at the mercy of one who has no care for your wellbeing?” my expression turns dark. “That’s your ideal world, bug. Where you control all and no being can do anything without fear of you taking them down! Scared that any second could be their last, just because you want to end their lives without cause!”
Silence rings out for several long moments, no pony daring to make a sound aside from the Changeling Queen as she gasps for air and winces from the pain.
“I’ve spent many nights, wanting to get back at you for that,” I leer down at her, before thrusting my arm down, grabbing her by the throat and lifting her up so we’re eyelevel. “Wanted to find you and put you through so much pain, you’ll beg me for death!”
She winces, struggling desperately to move her legs, the pain it’s causing her is evident with each small movement she makes.
I snicker. “I gave you a chance, in my time.” She into my eyes, fear entering her own for what is probably the first time in this version of the timeline. “You threw it back in my face the first chance you got, evening after making a promise that is unbreakable!”
A wind starts blows as I stare down at her with cold, unforgiving eyes.
“I made that mistake in my time and the you then was never as bad as the you now. She never killed somepony I care deeply about! I’m not going to make that same mistake again.”
A gut-wrenching scream rings out as flames burst from the ground in a circle around the writhing creature, consuming her, before sinking into the ground, cutting her off abruptly.
Everything is still for several long moments, before I turn to Twilight, smiling as if none of that just happened. “Let’s go get Celestia and then head back to stop Starlight, shall we?”
“Sc-Screwball, what...?” Twilight asks in a horrified whisper.
I glance back at the black circle on the ground. “That? Oh, I just gave her some physical pain to focus on while she spends the rest of eternity in Tartarus. I’ll deal with the hive before we leave. Speaking on which,” I look to the Pegasus filly and point at her, “you!”
She freezes in place, her eyes wide with fear... though, admittedly, everypony is staring at me in fear right now.
“I’ll give you one chance,” I say, stepping towards her, to which Miss Cheerilee and Sparkler hurry to stand between the two of us. “Why are you in this village? Were you a spy for her, or are you one of the few Changelings I’ve met that are happy to live peacefully with ponies?”
That causes confused expressions to go all around, before the filly looks down sadly. She’s enveloped in a flash of green, revealing a Changeling.
At once, everypony is alert, Cheerilee and Sparkler getting the hell away from them.
“I... I just wanted to make some friends,” it said with a light male voice that sounds pretty normal, really. “I’m Thorax. I was never really like other Changelings. I didn’t like having to feed off of others.”
I cock an eyebrow. “And now?”
He frowns, puzzled. “Well, not sure why, but, ever since I got here and was accepted, I haven’t really felt all that hungry, which is weird, because Changelings are meant to always be hungry.”
I nod. “Alright, then. Thorax, you’ll come with us. I think I have an idea.”
He glances to Pharynx’s frozen form. “Um, could you please let my brother go first?”
I glance to the frozen Changeling. I snap my fingers, Pharynx thawing out, gasping for air, before I look back to Thorax. “Now, w’ere going.”
“I sure hope Thorax is ready for all this,” Twilight says as the three of us walk towards the Map. “It won’t be easy.”
“I get the feeling Thorax will be great as the Changelings’ ambassador to Equestria,” I smile, trotting up onto the Map. “Especially with his brother by his side.”
To say our arrival in Canterlot caused an uproar would be an massive understatement. We found Celestia in a pod in the throne room, likely where Cheese Legs would feed on her.
She was definitely confused by Twilight’s being an Alicorn... or, ya know, alive for that matter.
Cadance and Shining Armour had been kept in the caves underneath the city, so the Changelings could feed off their love for each other.
It... it wasn’t a great feeling, seeing them shocked to see Twilight alive, let alone an Alicorn. It wasn’t an easy time with them, nor was it easy to convince them that Twilight and I both needed to leave to get back to our own timeline, that she couldn’t stay.
Myself, they cared about because, with everything so uncertain because of the long rule the Changelings had, power like mine would be a big benefit and safety assurance to all.
Twilight... well, she’s his sister and Cadance her foalsitter and soon-to-be sister-in-law. They cared about her and were grieving the loss of their Twilight.
Misplaced love is what it was; their desperate need to have their Twilight back and having a Twilight that could help take her place... I could see the struggles in their minds easily.
It had taken a couple weeks, but we’d managed to sort pretty much most stuff out. It’s up to the ponies, Zecora and other creatures of Equestria now.
Twilight levitates the scroll out of Spike’s backpack.
“Now, when we come out of the portal, I’ll make a barrier to stop Starlight from trapping us in crystal again,” Twilight goes over the plan.
“Then, if she doesn’t surrender, we fight her, with me stopping her from using any of the spells that could stop us,” I reply, bored. “I know, Twilight. Let’s just do this already. Sooner we stop Starlight, the sooner I can be with my family again.”
She nods, casting the spell. The vortex opens up and we’re lifted into it, the portal closing behind us.
The portal drops us down, myself holding Spike in my magic, Twilight at once raises a shield, blocking Starlight’s Crystal Encasement spell.
I open my mouth to try and talk some sense into Starlight, but suddenly Twilight leaps into the air with such force it pushes Spike and I back.
The suddenness off it throws me off a bit... off the clouds, that is.
It takes a few moments for me to realize Twilight accidentally knocked me off the clouds and that I’m now falling.
I right myself in the air quickly, before noticing the sound of Spike’s screaming.
Glancing down, I see he’s falling too.
I facehoof, before rolling my eyes and teleport him up to where I’m floating, keeping him aloft with my magic.
“So much for the plan,” Spike shrugs, looking up. I follow his gaze to see Starlight and Twilight having a big magic laser battle. “Guess I can’t blame her. She really doesn’t want us to have to go to anymore alternate timelines.”
I’m about to answer him, before I notice something. Something that could be a big problem if we want to keep the timeline going.
Sure, Twilight’s keeping Starlight occupied from stopping the race, in any way, with the battle the two are having, but that battle could also be a problem.
Lots of foals are already noticing the fight and watching, cheering as they gather to see how it goes.
I guess I can’t blame them, if I were like them, with no concept of the risks to the timeline or show and I saw a unicorn duking it out with an Alicorn, I’d be pretty interested to— oh crap!
I look to Twilight and feel myself panicking. Twilight’s an Alicorn and everypony is seeing it! This could screw things up really badly, even if the race isn’t stopped!
“Anypony got any popcorn?”
I absentmindedly poof up a box of popcorn and toss it in the direction of the voice, not really paying attention.
As Twilight and Starlight start looking tired (though, despite her being an Alicorn while Starlight’s just a unicorn, I can understand it with the amount of times Twilight’s cast the time travel spell in short amounts of time, following whatever we were doing in the other timelines), I hear a voice shout “Whoa!”
It’s the same voice from before and as I turn to see just who it was, my heart leaps into my chest as I suddenly realize the voice sounds familiar and upon seeing who it belonged to, start to panic.
Dash is sitting next to the two bullies on one of the clouds, the box of popcorn I’d poofed up held in her hooves.
Twilight teleports over, looking as worried as I feel as I hurry over to join her with Spike. “What are you doing? You have to finish your race!”
Rainbow Dash just waves a hoof. “No way! This is way more exciting!”
“See?” we glance behind us as Starlight walks towards us. “You can’t stop me no matter what you do.”
I glare, but the portal opens up and pulls us in before I get even get a word in.
The portal dumps us onto the Map in the new timeline and I get the same headache I’ve gotten the last two times I’ve ended up in an alternate timeline, alongside the pain of being dump a lot more forcefully than last time onto the Map, so hard we all bounce right off it and hit the ground.
“That’s strange,” Spike says, sounding confused.
“Well, you obviously don’t mean us falling,” Twilight says as I shake my head to clear the headache enough to think clearly, “because that’s becoming pretty routine.”
Spike shakes his head. “No, it’s just the other times we’ve come back, it’s been day! But look!”
I follow his pointed claw and notice it’s night time. I can’t see the moon due to all of the trees. Are we in the Everfree Forest again? Why? What did the changes in the past do to lead to another Changeling timeline?
“Why would the Map bring us back to a different time of day than when we left?” Twilight asks, looking up in contemplation.
“Um, maybe we should figure it out later,” Spike says after the sound of leafs shuffling and twigs snapping.
Glancing behind us, a pair of Timberwolves have come out, from nearby, one leaping up onto the Map.
The others back away in fear, while I just give a deadpan stare.
One of them sniffs the air, before they both turn to us. Since I’m closest, they leap at me.
“Ah, buzz off, ya wooden Chihuahuas,” I say in a bored tone.
The two collide with me, only to tumble off of me and flop to the ground. They pause for a moment, shaking their heads and blinking, before looking up at me as I tower over them.
We just stare at each other for a few moments.
“Boo,” I say flatly, causing them to yelp and hightail it away from us, whimpering as they go.
“Huh,” Spike says as he and Twilight join me. “Didn’t expect that.”
“So, new timeline,” I say, looking around, frowning. “We’re in a forest again, Everfree, I’m pretty sure. Think it’s another Changeling timeline?” I look to Twilight as I finish.
She frowns, glancing around. “I hope not. I don’t want to have to go through with Shining Armour and Cadance what we did last time.”
Yeah. I wouldn’t be surprised if Twilight arranges some family time to spend with those two back in our own timeline once this is all over and done with.
“Well, whatever the timeline, let’s explore,” Spike says, hurrying off into the forest. “Can’t fix what’s wrong if we don’t know it first.”
I facehoof and the two of us hurry to catch up with him, myself foregoing walking and just floating through the air.
We have no idea where we’re going, so we’re understandably confused when we come out into a clear to find a stone bridge leading to a large castle with a bit of a night theme to it.
“Um, we are still in the Everfree, right?” Spike asks, glancing between the two of us. “I don’t remember this fancy-looking castle being here.”
Me neither. Glancing around, I notice something off. I can feel the Tree of Harmony’s power, it’s magic is still there, if faint. I can’t sense anything to do with the Plunder Vines, though.
This is weird.
“Wait,” I look to the castle, then the cave where the Tree of Harmony is, before looking to the castle again, then Twilight and Spike. “If the Tree of Harmony is there, shouldn’t the Castle of the Two Sisters be where that castle is?” I point ahead of us.
Twilight frowns. “That is weird.”
A howling from off in the distance sounds and Spike scurries across the bridge towards the castle, shouting “Well, don’t just stand here!”
“You know I can handle the Timberwolves, right?” I groan, before we follow after him.
We get to the door, myself opening it with my magic and we get in, Spike and Twilight quickly pushing it closed, to which I just roll my eyes.
Turning to look around the castle hall, I notice it’s in much better condition than it should be and the walls all have a very blue motif.
As we start looking around, heading towards where the throne room is, I notice the torches we pass lighting of their own accord, with blue flames.
Why am I suddenly getting a Maleficent vibe from this place?
Eh. Probably just my imagination.
“This place looks a lot cleaner than I remember,” Spike says as we ascend a set of stairs into the throne room, myself opting to walk for a bit
As we reach the top of the stairs I notice a night-themed tapestry lying on the floor, but it’s quickly caught up in a familiar blue aura and lifted onto the wall as a certain alabaster mare comes into view and... Yeesh! What is Rarity wearing? That black suit or whatever it is really doesn’t look all that good on her. Though, that could just be because it’s combined with her having put her tail and mane in a bun.
That is not a very good look for her.
Rarity takes notice of us, giving us a look that reminds me of the nobles from Canterlot. This cannot be good. “The castle isn’t open for viewings today. The tapestries all need changing.” She looks away with an annoyed expression. “Again.”
Wait, viewings? What?
Spike hurries over to his, his face filled with joy. “Rarity, it’s me!”
The look Rarity gives Spike... actually hurts me. “I don’t socialize with dragons,” she says the last word like an insult, turning her head away as if in disgust. “I don’t know anypony who would.”
The look on Spike’s face causes me to want to hurt Rarity for a moment. Friend Zone 2.0.
“Rarity,” Twilight says, hopping over Spike as I try to comfort him, “you have to listen to me! The future of Equestria’s at stake!”
Rarity gives the mare now in front of her a disinterested look. “I don’t know how you know my name, but I am far too busy to entertain some tourist’s ridiculous fantasies.”
I frown. “Tourist? Do you have whatever stick you’ve got shoved up your ass so high up there you’ve gone blind?”
She gives me an annoyed frown.
I just give her a deadpan stare back, grabbing one of Twilight’s wings and hold it out.
We stand there for several moments, Rarity looking over Twilight, before her eyes widen in shock and confusion, before she goes into a deep bow.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, Your Highness,” she says, keeping her head down. “I didn’t know the princess had another relative.”
I cock an eyebrow. Relative of the princess? I mean, okay, I can kinda see where she’s coming from, but something about the way she said it feels... off.
“P-please, forgive me, Your Highness,” she says, her voice a mixture of fear and uncertainty. “B-but, I fear I must beg your forgiveness, Your Highness. I am unable to recall your name. Are you a cousin to Princess Cadance in some way?”
Okay, so Cadance still has the title of princess. Good to know that wasn’t screwed with in some way. Then again, how would it have been, when she was a princess before Twilight got her Cutie Mark?
Uh. All these alternate timelines of the real timeline are doing my head in.
“Now that I have your attention,” Twilight says firmly, “I have to get back to the Map so I can stop Starlight from changing the past, because every present I come to is worse than the last!”
Huh. Twilight just rhymed. Is that some kind of back effect from having been around the alternate timeline Zecora for as long as we were?
Also, really smart there, Sparklebutt. Like this version of Rarity will have any idea what you mean when you mention the Map or Starlight. Not to mention you just ignored Rarity’s query as to your name. Then there’ the fact you didn't even need to tell her that in the first place.
Seriously, did somepony hit Twilight with the idiot stick before this whole time travel mess started?
“Time travel, you say?” another voice says from behind us, making me jump.
We whirl around and I realize something I’d somehow been oblivious to when we first got here, likely due to Rarity taking all my attention.
There’s somepony sitting on a single throne shrouded in semi-darkness.
Quickly glancing around, I notice something about all the tapestries and even some of the windows I’d failed to see before. They’re all night-themed and several are depicting a certain black mare.
As we look back to the throne, the pony sitting there slowly leans forward, revealing the Mare in the Moon herself, Nightmare Moon. “Now that’s something I would like to see.”
So, just to clarify, we’re in a timeline where Nightmare somehow beat Celestia, the Plunder Vines seem to be under control, though the forest is clearly a lot thicker than it should be and we literally just informed her that we have the means to travel through time.
Well, we’re fucked.
Nightmare Moon laughs as several ponies wearing what I assume is armour, with bat-like designs, step into the room and stand in front of her, before surrounding the three of us.
Nightmare lifts into the air and lands before us. “Tell me how you came by this magic to travel through time.”
I stare her down. Um, so Rarity notices Twi’s an Alicorn, yet none of these ponies do? Stupid Manehatten Syndrome.
Wait, this is an alternate timeline, so how does that...? Gah! Starlight’s time travel sucks ass!
“The princess asked you a question!” one of the guards says angrily in a very familiar voice. I glance at her, only for my jaw to drop as she removes her helmet, revealing Rainbow Dash with a flat hair cut. “And unless you wanna end up in the dungeon, you’ll tell her what she wants to know!”
I blink, before snarling. “Okay, first of all, no, she didn’t ask us anything! She demanded it! Big difference! Second, what the hell, Dash! So much for being the most loyal pony! You turned you back on Celestia to serve this,” I point at Nightmare, “self-centred jerk of a princess?!”
Dash and the other guards all glare at me.
“How dare you question my loyalty to the princess!” Dash snarls at me, getting right in my face. “Once I saw how wrong we all were and how Celestia lied to her subjects for all the centuries Princess Nightmare Moon was locked away, I knew who deserved my loyalty. The real royalty of this kingdom.”
“Thanks, that brings me to the third thing I wanted to point out,” I say, grabbing Twilight’s other wing this time and holding it out. “Are all of you blind or do you just not see other Alicorns when Nightmare’s around? Does Cadance not count as royalty or something? Rarity seemed to think she does, so what the hell?!”
They all stare, before shocked expressions come over their faces, all the guards looking to the black Alicorn for answers.
She provides none, however, as she too seems to have only just now realized Twilight is an Alicorn and seems quite taken aback and the revelations.
“What? How? You... you were never,” she glares at Twilight. “How did you manage this? You were not born an Alicorn! I have seen your dreams!”
I blink, before it clicks.
Oh, that explains Dash’s misplaced loyalty. Luna’s magic in the Dream Realm allows her to shift the thoughts of ponies ever so slightly to ensure they have the right outcomes in their dreams and learn from them. In a way, it’s like very subtle mind altering, but on a much, much, much smaller scale and, since Luna isn’t one to manipulate others, no harm can come from it.
With Nightmare in control of such a power, however...? Yeah, I can see how that would go.
“Never mind,” Nightmare says firmly, though looking annoyed. “You shall tell me later. For now, you will tell me about this Time Magic of yours. Nopony in my kingdom but me should possess a magic powerful enough to change time.”
Wow. Ego much?
“Your kingdom?” Spike asks from behind Twilight’s legs.
Nightmare stares firmly at him. “Who else?”
Spike smiles uncertainly. “Um... Celestia, of course!”
Dash and the other guards all give each other worried glances. Guess like when Scar took over from Mufasa and forbid anyone from speaking Mufasa’s name, the same is here? Wow. It’s even a sibling thing too. Weird coinkydink.
Instead of getting angry like Scar would’ve though, Nightmare just laughs... and loses all intimidating factors for me.
How are you meant to be scared of a villain when their evil laughs just get goofier and goofier?
“My sister has been imprisoned in the moon for years!” Nightmare says, indicating to the window, where we can see the moon with a silhouette like the Mare in the Moon, only with a large blotch of pink which I guess would be Celestia’s mane. “But it is no less a fate than she’d sentence me to!”
I’m about to correct her, as the situations are VASTLY different, since Celestia had no choice and Nightmare likely just did it for revenge, when something else about that catches up with me.
I just stand there for several moments as Nightmare and Twilight talk about something, I don’t pay attention.
A slow smile creeps onto my face, before I start giggling. It starts off softly, then gets louder and louder, until I’m holding my sides, guffawing with hysterical laughter.
“And just what is so funny?” I struggle through my laughter to see Nightmare giving me a very stern glare.
“Y-y-you’re so stupid!” I cackle, before falling to my sides laughing like a looney.
Everypony just stares at me, the guards, Twilight and Spike in shock, Nightmare in a mix of anger and confusion.
“And just why am I, as you put it, so stupid?” she asks flatly.
It takes a few seconds for me to get my laughter under control. Once I do, I take a few deep breaths, before grinning at her. “Word of advice. Never blab the location of where you locked away your enemy around a Being of Chaos.”
Before any of them can respond, I pop away, only to return a second later. Only this time, I’ve brought company.
Standing next to me is an alabaster Alicorn with a flowing multi-coloured mane and tail and sun for a Cutie Mark.
Everypony’s eyes widen, the jaws of all save Twilight and Spike hanging wide open, completely dumfounded.
“Oh, and before you try anything funny, Nightie-Poo,” I smirk, taking on my anthro form and snapping my fingers.
There’s a blinding white flash and Nightmare gets tossed backwards.
When the light fades, where Nightmare was standing before, Luna, looking like she did back in episode two of the first season, is laying on the floor.
Nightmare, however, is not gone. Standing up from where she fell, she stares in shock, bewilderment and fear at Luna, before her body starts to warp until Nightmare Moon looks like a ghostly shadow.
“What is the meaning on this?” the shadow demands, looking from Luna to myself. “Who or what are you?!”
Oh, I can’t resist. “Why, isn’t it obvious, Nightie-Poo?” I say in a much different voice, one that causes Nightmare’s transparent eyes to widen in horror, before my body shifts, taking on a more mismatched shape.
Standing before her, I now have the appearance of Discord. “And here I thought you were smarter than that.”
Celestia is staring at me in bewilderment and utter confusion. “Discord? What...? How did you escape...? Why did you free me if...?”
I wave a hand (literally, I take off my lion’s paw and wave it) at the white Alicorn, before smirking at Nightmare as I reattach my appendage. “Later, KK. For now, we’ve a certain Nightmare to handle, do we not?”
I look to the shadowy form of Nightmare and smirk as she gets into a defensive stance. “I will not let you defeat me, Discord, you pathetic patchwork! If you want to kill me, it won’t be easy.”
I fold my arms, giving her a combination of mock offense and amusement. “Now, really, Nightie, what kind of a creature do you take me for. Death?” I wave a paw, making a disgusted sound. “So dull. No chaos at all to be had in death. Life, on the other hand,” my smirk returns, “well, that’s full of all sorts of surprises now, isn’t it? Enjoy the new lease.”
Before she can respond, I snap my lion paw. There’s a flash of light and suddenly, a wailing starts.
Everypony just stares as, where the shadowy form of Nightmare Moon had once been; there now lays a small black Alicorn foal with a purple mane and tail.
I frown. “Hmm. Didn’t mean to make her look like Nyx. Eh,” I shrug. “Guess it makes chaotic sense.”
“What in Equestria?!” Dash cries, turning to glare at me. “What did you do to our princess?!”
As she leaps up to attack me, I snap my now talon fingers again, a wave of orange light moving around from me in the same way a Rainboom spreads out.
As it washes over each of the ponies, they blink, staring as if in a daze.
I switch back to my anthro pony form, giggling at the confused look on Celestia’s face. “Nah. Don’t worry. DD’s still locked away in stone. Though, if you can find a mare named Fluttershy, she might be able to help you reform him.” A card appears, floating next to Celestia’s head. “Call me if he gets a little outta hand at any point, kay, KK? Me and my DD will be glad to help.”
Twilight frowns at me. “You could’ve gotten Celestia out of the moon and dealt with Nightmare this whole time?!”
I shrug. “Hey, I didn’t know KK was in the moon. Thank Princess Blabberpants for that. Speaking of which.” I teleport over to the wailing foal and pick her up in my arms.
At once she calms down, looking up at me with teary eyes filled with confusion.
I walk over to Luna, whom Celestia is helping up and kneel down, holding out the foal. “Luna, I know it wasn’t great and watching Nightmare do what she did even after returning from the moon must have been horrible for you, but, this isn’t Nightmare Moon anymore. This foal is the life she was, but given a blank slate. It won’t be easy, but I know you and Celestia can work things out and you can raise this filly to love the night just as much as you do.”
Luna looks from myself to the foal, who sees Luna and starts reaching out for her, smiling like any foal, while uncertainty clear on the blue Alicorn’s face.
“Don’t worry,” I stand back up a little, so the foal doesn’t feel like I’m taking her away from Luna. “Twi, Spike and I will stay a while; help you sort things out here first.”
“Yes,” Twilight nods, stepping towards the alternate version of her mentor, before giving me a look. “Though Screwball will be a lot less impulsive next time and actually give word what she plans.”
I shrug. “Hey, I saw what was happening and how simple it was to fix.” I roll my eyes. “Really, Lulu, I doubt you’d have needed to worry too much, even without our help. Nightmare was a total idiot.”
The foal responds with a raspberry, though whether it’s aimed at me in reaction to my insulting her former self, aimed at her former self, or her agreeing, I’ve no clue. It is adorable, though.
“We cannot let Starlight do this again,” Twilight says as we walk through the slightly less thick forest towards the Map.
It’s been about a month since Nightmare was removed from the throne.
Ponies were uncertain if they’d awoken from a dream or not after I removed the mind-hold Nightmare had on them all. Unlike the other mind related spells I’ve dealt with, that one was thankfully very minor and messing with it didn’t cause any damage to anypony.
I was able to help weave a story to keep the populace from going after Luna, or her new foal. It was a pretty believable one, when you get down to it.
Nightmare was an entity that threatened the life of Luna’s unborn foal unless she gave it control of her body and she did, the Nightmare then erasing all knowledge of her back in the past. Now that Nightmare was gone, she and her foal were free again and she gave birth a short while after the Nightmare was beaten.
Dash and those guards who’d been present and of course Rarity, know the real story, but agreed to keep it quiet, for the princesses’ sake.
Now that Luna was looking the way she did a thousand plus years ago and some semblance of normal has returned, we’re heading back, despite Celestia’s offer that we were free to stay.
Oddly enough, it turns out this timeline’s version of Twi and her parents moved up to the Empire after Nightmare, reluctantly, gave it over to Cadance to rule, if under heavy supervision to ensure Cadance didn’t try anything against Nightmare.
“I hear that,” I say firmly as we hop up onto the Map. “I dunno what kind of future would come next, but it’d be nice if I don’t have to worry about that.”
Twilight nods and braces herself as she casts the spell. “We must stop her, before it’s too late.”
I Face A Part of my Past I Thought I Left behind… which fails to Understand how Chaos Magic Works, clearly
We drop onto The Map, myself taking notice of the orange colour it now sports.
The sound of exploding trees draws our attention up and we all freeze. It’s Tirek. He’s huge and using his magic to blast the Everfree apart, just like last time.
“And how exactly are we meant to stop that?!” Spike cries as he clutches onto Twilight’s leg. “With all the Alicorn Magic in Equestria, plus Discord’s magic, only the Elements can stop him!”
I blink, before a smirk comes to my face. “One moment.” I disappear and reappear several seconds later, now hovering behind the giant red centaur. “Yo, Horn Head!”
He pauses in his mindless destruction and turns around, blinking in confusion at the sight of an Earth Pony filly floating in front of him.
“What in the world…?” he cocks an eyebrow.
“Sorry, your payment is overdue,” I say, my right hoof turning into a hand. “I’m gonna have to repossess all that magic.”
Before he can respond I sink my hand into his chest. He screams as I pull it back out, a massive orb of multi-coloured magic held in my grasp, which I punch with my other hoof, causing it to explode, scattering the magic across Equestria, returning it to those it was taken from.
Tirek wails as he body wobbles, before I snap my fingers, returning him to Tartarus, bound in his cage with chains holding his legs down, his form returned to what it was before he got all the magic.
I pop back over to the Map, where Twilight and Spike are just staring at where the centaur used to be, their mouths hanging wide open.
“What?” I shrug. “In this timeline, the CMC never fought in front of Discord’s statue, thus setting him free, so there was no Chaos Magic for Tirek to steal.”
It takes a few moments, but they snap out of it, shaking their heads.
Twilight gives me a sad look. “I’m sorry we failed again, Screwball, especially after you worked so hard to try get Rainbow to do the Rainboom, even if it was too late to get the timeline exactly right.” She looks down. “I just wish I could know Sunset was okay.”
I cock an eyebrow. “Okay, guessing that’s to do with the timeline you both got pulled to before this one, while I was stuck in the past again, trying to stop Starbutt from screwing up the timeline any more than she already had before we both got yanked back to the earlier past. What’s up?”
Spike looks up at the purple mare, then back to me. “The future we ended up in was… nice. The difference was that Sunset Shimmer was the Princess of Friendship.”
I blink, before cocking an eyebrow. “So, Starlight causing a cloud to block Dash and Hoops, causing Dash to have to avoid it whole Hoops collided with it, so Dash won without doing the Rainboom … resulted in Sunset not leaving Celestia’s studies and actually learned friendship without having to be blasted by the Elements first?”
They nod. “And Derpy was the Element of Kindness.”
I just stare for a moment. I’m not sure how to respond to that last one. Shaking my head, I cock my eyebrow again. “Then… why does Twi think she might not be okay?”
“We don’t know if her timeline remained after we left, or if it was replaced with this one,” the Alicorn indicates around us.
I blink and just stare at her for several moments… before I realize she’s serious.
My right eye twitches and I close my eyes, taking a breath to try and calm myself, before I leap into the air and whack her over the head with a mallet, causing her to comically look like an accordion for a moment, sounds effects included, before returning to her original form.
“Are you fucking serious?!” I give her a very annoyed frown as she shakes her head to clear it, before looking to me. “Twilight, you have had a being who visits alternate timelines almost every freaking day living in the same town as you for over a year now, yet you don’t think an alternate timeline can still remain?! Seriously?!”
I reach into the air and pull a zip down, opening a hole in the fabric of realty, pulling out a clear rectangle covered in countless stars.
I look it over, before flipping it around, tapping on one star in particular. The image zooms in, revealing a world where Sunset is an Alicorn, slowing walking around in the Golden Oaks Library, looking around wistfully.
Twilight’s eyes light up. “Her world still exists?”
I groan, facehoofing, before tossing the board back through the rip and zipping it back up. “Yes. I already explained all this back in that Sombra timeline. Yeesh. You really were hit with an idiot stick before all this, weren’t you?”
She frowns at me.
“Um, shouldn’t we go now?” Spike asks before we can continue. “With Tirek gone, everypony’s gonna be wondering who beat him and got all their magic back. Do we really wanna have to explain that?”
“Well, I can play it off on my own, easy,” I shrug, before looking to the two of them, specifically the winged one. “But… I guess explaining how Twi’s an Alicorn when she isn’t in this timeline would preferably be avoided.”
Twilight sighs, her horn glowing, levitating the scroll. “Then let’s go.” She frowns. “Be ready.”
As the portal opens, I’m still caught by what just happened.
When the portal had opened, we’d flown out, Twilight using the crystalizing spell from a couple jumps ago.
To our horror, the unicorn had easily dodged it, the spell zapping Rainbow Dash instead, encasing her in crystal that started to sink into the clouds.
Before I could do more than register that and try to prepare to free her, we’d been sucked back through the time portal.
Now, we’ll find out what a world where Rainbow Dash likely died is like.
We drop down… into a pile of rubber chickens?
Popping up out of the pile, my eyes are drawn to a flow of colour that went by… and see Celestia and Luna with afros, wearing red rubber clown noses and a vest like those you see monkey’s wearing in front of those guys that play music… being chased by Discord, wearing a red royal’s cape while riding a unicycle.
I facehoof. “Should’ve guessed this would happen eventually.”
“Well, this is certainly unexpected.”
We all freeze. That… that was my voice, but I didn’t say anything.
My senses suddenly go crazy and I grab Twilight and Spike in my magic and jump, tumbling forward as the rubber chicken pile is incinerated by a DBZ Spirit Bomb.
Landing, we all whirl around to see another me… but she’s older. She looks like a grown mare… and that smile on her face is very unsettling.
Behind and all around us is pretty much how you’d think a world ruled by Discord would look. Houses floating upside down in the sky, animals altered in weird and amusing ways, cotton candy clouds spilling chocolate rain and so on.
“Time travellers?” the other me asks in confusion, before snickering. “Well, that’s not expected at all.” Her eyes fall on Twilight and she leers. “And I’ll now get to rip off the wings of the Princess of Friendship.” She shifts into a human shape, her face a manic grin as her hands turn into scissors. “I can’t wait to turn you into a hollow shell of your former self.”
I blink, my brain screeching to a halt. Why does what she just said suddenly seem familiar?
“Who are you?” I yell, erecting a shield around the Alicorn and dragon.
She suddenly snarls. “Who am I isn’t who I was. I lost my life to this retched world when that clown,” she indicates to Discord, “turned this body into a magnate for my mind. As if this place didn’t ruin enough for me before.”
She fires a blast of electricity at me, which I redirect at the sky by doing the lightning redirection technique from the Avatar cartoons series. “And just what did it ruin, huh?”
She just glares at me. “I met someone at my workplace I thought I could be great friends with. I even was getting him to understand my reasons for hating this place… then he became a hollow shell of his former self, just like I intend to make you and that blasted Alicorn!”
She creates a Distructo Disc like Krillian’s in DBZ and throws it at me. I do a Matrix dodge, before grabbing it and bite into it like a cookie.
Finishing it off, I look to her in shock. Those words… I know this being. The mind that inhabits that body… I know who it is. “You got pulled into this timeline’s Screwball instead of me?”
She pauses, frowning at me. “Do I know you?”
I stand up straight and glare. “Yeah. I’m the one who became a hollow shell of my former self. Remember?”
She stares for several moments, before her eyes widen. “You?! How?”
Alternate timeline,” I say firmly, shifting to my anthro form. “Seems, somehow, what Starlight did to this one caused you to be pulled into Screwball’s body insteadnot me.”
I may have broken my memories of my human life, but I do remember parts of it. One part I remember is that, in the place I worked, there was a guy I used to be friends with, but, after he learned I was Brony, shut me out and started judging me more and more by my liking MLP, until he told me blanking that, after he left the workplace for good, he’d only remember the me from before I started liking the show, because the me who did like the show was apparently a hollow shell of my former self, despite how much better a person I’d actually become because of the show.
That was the day I lost any hope of pulling him out of his dark view of the world… a view she has now brought to this timeline.
She blinks, before snarling, her eyes glowing red. “So you escaped from this one?! I’ll make you pay for stranding me in this hell hole!”
She fires several Cyclop energy beams at me and I move my body lazily from side to side, easily avoiding them.
She yells, throwing her hands up, a massive Spirit Bomb quickly forming above her. “I’ll make you suffer worse than your darkest nightmares! I’ll force you to relive your worst memories over and over, until you’re begging me for merc— GAHH!”
Her monologue is cut off by a gut-retching scream as her magic pours out of her mouth, the purplish black mass pooling in my right hand, before tapering out, the magic turning into a sphere in my grasp.
“That’s just pathetic,” I shake my head as she collapses to the ground. “You were the more genre savvy of the two of us when we were human, yet you somehow forget that villains could easily be beaten by the hero during the time it takes for them to finish their long winded monologue?”
The shield around Twilight and Spike dissipates and the two hurry over.
“What in Equestria was that all about?” Spike asks, looking from me to the other me.
I just give the human a cold glare. “She was a human I used to know in my old life. She got pulled into that body instead of me in this timeline. But, she failed to realize something very important. I have Chaos Magic too and I actually know how to work it. So, while she was giving her villainous monologue, I simply took her Chaos Magic right out of her.”
Twilight just stares at me in shock. “You can do that?”
I shrug. “Hey, just cuz I can do something, doesn’t mean I will.”
“So, what’re you gonna do with that?” Spike points to the writhing mass over magic in my hand.
I smirk. “Simple.” I toss the sphere into the air, open my mouth and it drops down my throat and I swallow.
The shocked expressions on Spike and Twilight’s faces only deepens when my body suddenly morphs, becoming that of an adult, just like the other me’s.
“Huh?” I look down at my now very well developed body. “What the heck?”
The other me gives a weak sneer. “Really? You didn’t know? Even I knew the pony we both ended as was originally an adult.”
I frown, scratching my chin. So, that means our timeline was already an alternate one from the show’s original timeline.
I snap my fingers, a holographic screen appearing before me and I look it over. Huh, so originally, Screwball was actually Spoiled’s sister, not daughter.
Makes some sense, I guess. Though, I’m not sure which is more insulting, being the daughter of that bitch or her sister.
“Well, whatever the case,” I snap my fingers, reverting to my younger self. “I came to Equestria as a child and I’ll grow up like one. There’s plenty of time to be an adult when you’re immortal. Besides,” I smirk, “being a kid’s way more fun.”
“What was that screen about, Screwball?” Twilight asks, the screen having vanished when I returned to my proper age, before she’d gotten a good look at it. “What does this other you mean you should be an adult?”
The other me blinks, before she cackles cruelly. “They don’t know? You didn’t tell them? Oh, this is rich. Purple Bitch, you’re from a—MMFFF?!”
Her words are cut off as her body is bound in chains, a metal plate covering her mouth.
I glare coldly at her. “You really are warped in the mind. I can’t believe, you get given such amazing power… and turned into a petty super villain. Pathetic.”
“So… what do we do now?” Spike asks, looking from my double, to me, the world around us.
I step forward, placing a finger on my double’s forehead, a once seeing all her memories of Equestria… and being disgusted by what she’s done.
I step back from her, the darkest snarl I’ve ever worn on my face. “You’re disgusting. Tartarus isn’t good enough for you.” I snap my fingers, my snarl turning into a twisted sneer. “But I have an idea how to make it worse.”
Flames erupt around her, her screams muffled by the metal plate over her mouth as she sinks into the pits.
After a few moments, Twilight and Spike look to me with worry. “What… what’s gonna happen to her in Tartarus?”
I don’t meet their eyes, turning towards where Discord is still chasing the clowned princesses, oblivious to what had transpired. “Let’s just say, she shouldn’t have gotten on the bad side of someone who knows as much about the deep web as I do… especially now she’s female.”
They both look to each other uncertainly.
“Gimme a bit,” I say, getting ready to snap my fingers. “This may take a while.”
“That ungrateful little wretch,” Discord pouts as Twilight, Spike and I step onto the Map, myself back to my normal pony form. “I give her Chaos Magic and she goes behind my back like that. I’m a lover of chaos, not cruelty.”
I roll my eyes. “DD, we went over this. She’s paying for her crimes, tenfold, in Tartarus.”
His pout just deepens. “It’s still not fair.”
“Says the Lord of Chaos who threw friendship back in our faces,” Rainbow Dash shot back as she stood next to Fluttershy.
Turns out Dash didn’t die, after all. Fluttershy helped her get out of the crystal before she sank through the clouds and the two became closer friends than even the ones in our own timeline.
They’re not together, if that’s what you’re thinking, but they’ve a much stronger and more understanding friendship than ours.
The reason Discord got out this time is because, in this timeline, Dash and Flutters had helped convinced Luna and Celestia to forgive each other when Nightmare Moon returned and, having experienced this, Celestia was convinced she could do the same with Discord… and it’s clear where that went.
It hadn’t been easy, but I’d gotten Discord to listen to reason and realize he wanted friendship more than utter chaos and how he almost lost it.
As for where Dash and Shy were during his reign? My double had locked them in a pocket dimension, separated by a thin layer of energy so neither could comfort the other, forcing them to watch as Equestria suffered both Discord and her wrath. Though hers was more traumatizing a thing for them.
Neither have family anymore, my double saw to that, so they only have each other and what few of their friends from Ponyville and Cloudsdale remain, plus the princesses and Discord, though Dash is understandably giving him a probationary limit.
“Again, I’m so sorry for what my former friend did with the magic she had,” I sigh, shaking my head. “I still can’t believe she fell so far. I knew she hated this world… but that…”
I feel a hoof on my shoulder and look up to see Luna. “Do not blame yourself, young one. You could not have known she’d go so far.”
Twilight clears her throat. “Either way, now, more than ever, we have to stop Starlight Glimmer from altering the past again.”
Celestia nods. “And, rest assured, the version of her here will be stopped before she gets as far as yours.”
“I’ll be glad to see to it personally,” Discord nods, before chuckling. “Should be quite the amusing sight.”
“Just don’t go overboard, DD,” I say, before looking to Twilight. “Okay, let’s do this.”
She nods, lifting the scroll and casting the spell.
I... I Wanna Be Mad at her… but the Adults are just as much to blame, here
We drop from the portal, narrowly avoiding a beam from Starlight.
The last time we came out of the portal, she’d been helping Fluttershy get through the Flight Camp course, thus the bullies had no reason to want to tease her.
Strangely enough, the timeline that created was… weird. And dumb. Remember that flaw I mentioned regarding Flim and Flam? The one where they just took Sweet Apple Acres, when all they’d won were the cider rights?
Well, that timeline we ended up in was the Sombra timeline again, only Flutters had apparently moved to Canterlot after leaving Cloudsdale, inadvertently saved the two con ponies during the Changleinge Invasion attempt and then somehow got into a large industry because of the war with Sombra, getting rich from other ponies suffering.
…
Yeah, after I took the right route to ending the war quickly, I really let those two have it before handing them over to Celestia.
I let Twilight and Starlight talk it out, Twilight trying to explain about how Starlight’s actions are FREAKING RISKING EVERYTHING, while I go down to help Flutters again.
“… next I suppose you'll tell me that the fate of all of Equestria hangs in the balance!” Starlihgt is saying as I pop back to Twilight’s side.
“It does!” Twilight says urgently.
“Spare me your overblown ego” Starlight says, rolling her eyes. “! No group of friends, not even Princess Twilight's, is that important!”
Did this bitch seriously never read the news? She knows Twi and the others have saved Equestria multiple times, right? Right?
My thoughts are cut off by the sound of Dash crying out, though my attention is drawn more to the time portal opening.
“Okay, I’ve had enough of this shit!” I shout, grabbing Starlight in my magic and pulling her close. I love the look of shock and fear in her eyes. It’s so delicious!
Twilight blinks, before frowning and nodding. “I don't know how important other ponies' friendships are to the future, but, thanks to Screwball, I can show you what the world is like without mine!”
With that, we’re all pulled into the portal… and I freeze in place once we land in the new timeline. There’s a barren, grey wasteland around us.
I... I can’t sense any life around us. The only living things I can sense are Twilight, Starlight, Spike and myself. The rest of the world is just… dead. The only other thing even the remotest bit alive is the Tree of Harmony, and it isn’t going to last much longer anyway. It’s doing everything it can just to maintain the Map’s connection. We’ve got maybe ten minutes before it dies too, leaving the Map worthless and us trapped in this timeline forever.
I’m so horrified; I don’t even pay attention to what the ponies and dragon are saying.
There’s… there’s literally nothing. Everypony I know. My friends, family… everypony… they’re all gone.
“Change my mind?” an angry voice pulls me from my thoughts and I look down from the Map to see Starlight glaring at Twilight with a look like a voice dripping with venom. “You don't know anything about me! I was perfectly happy before you and your friends ruined what I built!”
“Yeah, and you’re being happy meant countless others suffering because of flawed philosophy…” I say without thinking, but trail off as a thought occurs to me.
I quickly reach out my magic. Oh… Oh, Sweet Celestia. That’s what happened. Starlight is what happened! In this timeline, somehow, things worked out for the best… until Starlight’s plans to expand her village went too far.
She got the princesses to visit and took their Cutie Marks away. She took the only way to keep the day and night cycle moving away and… and this world is the result.
Starlight caused her past self to doom Eqeustria to be a wasteland of nothing and…
I shoot up straight. Wait. Is that…? Yes! Yes, just felt a ripple in the demensions. Someone travelled from… Oh my gosh! Someone came here from the Equestria Girls world! It’s Sunset!
“You want to know what happened to me?!” Starlihgt’s voice invades my thoughts and I turn to see she’s now in front of me and she’s casting the Time Travel Spell again, “I'll show you!”
We come up out of the ground when the portal opens, oddly enough, finding ourselves in small village, kinda like Ponyville, only smaller and more homey feeling.
There’s a lot of pointed, tiled houses, some with spires, others not.
Ponies are walking around, doing their every day things.
I’m so confused.
“Where are we?” Twilight voices my thoughts.
Starlight gives us firm looks. “That map of yours is connected to every part of Equestria, and this part is my home.”
She leads us over to one house in particular, through the window of which we can see a filly Starlight, yet to get her Cutie Mark. Hate to say it, but she looks pretty cute.
There’s another pony with her, a unicorn colt with orange fur, with cream fur around his hooves, as well as a cream patch of fur right between his eyes. His mane is your average kind of colts his age. He doesn’t have a Cutie Mark either.
I watch the two stacking books like a tower of Jenga as Starlight explains the colt is named Sunburst. The two were apparently the best of friends, always doing everything together.
“Until today,” she says in a foreboding tone.
As we watch, the tower start to fall, about to hit Starlight, but Sunburst catches the tower in his magic, glowing with a fire yellow light as the books then swirl around him, before all flying to the nearby empty bookshelf and all fitting into place.
When Sunburst returns to the ground, his flank more bares a Cutie Mark of an orb like the sun, with ray of moving out on one side, while the other side has no rays, but a few blue twinkles.
He gives an excite whiny, like a horse, before trotting outside, the townsponies all quickly gathering around and congratulating him, while filly Starlight watches… and starts to cry before running further inside.
“And just like that, my friend was gone,” Starlight sighs. “His family recognized his magical talent and sent him off to Canterlot. I never saw him again.”
“Well, why not?” Spike asks, myself thinking the same thing in confusion.
Starlight turns to us, glaring as tears start to form in her eyes. “Because of his cutie mark! He got his, and I didn't! He moved on, and I didn't! I stayed here and never made another friend because I was too afraid another cutie mark would take them away, too!”
Twilight, Spike and I look to each other, before Twilight shakes her head. “That's ridiculous. A cutie mark can't take your friends away.”
Starlight wipes her eyes. “Not everypony's lucky enough to get her cutie mark at the same time as her friends!”
As she speaks, she starts up the spell.
However, she freezes in place before the portal can open. Everything does.
I frown, tapping my chin. I quickly froze time to stop her, but but I had another reason.
Moving a little further into town, I make sure the others remain frozen in time where they were as the world speeds through time around me, letting me see what happens at a super speed.
Surely Starlight isn’t serious? She could’ve kept in contact with this Sunburst by mailing him, right?
As I watch… I find out, no, that’s not the case at all. After Sunburst left, Starlight did indeed become withdrawn, not interacting with any other fillies or colts beyond acknowledging their existence. She didn’t once try to get to know anypony.
And, it turns out her father was no help in the matter. Oh, don’t get me wrong, her father, Fire Light (yeah, not the most creative father, simply naming his daughter after himself, but replacing the Fire with Star) was a good father. He loved his daughter dearly and wanted her to be happy… it’s just his method leaves something to be desired.
It’s not like what Spoiled did to Diamond. In fact, it’s kinda the opposite. He gave her too much love and care, treating her like a little filly, no matter how many years went by.
It also doesn’t help that he literally didn’t listen to Starlight. She’d tried explaining why she was unhappy, but he wouldn’t listen, just focusing on his own way of helping her, which also included teaching her about the history Sire’s Hollow (the name of the town). All of it’s history.
With his lack of listening, I see clearly how Starlight was never dissuaded from her eventual belief that a Cutie Mark had taken Sunburst from her, resulting in her hatred of Cutie Marks.
And, good lord, her teenage years?
Ya know how some teens go through that Goth faze, filling their rooms with gothic stuff? Yeah, Starlight went through that at one point… and Fire Light was completely oblivious.
Good grief. No wonder Starlight’s view of reality got so warped.
As for Sunburst not keeping in contact with her himself?
Well, it turns out he flunked Magic School and, after his mother, Stellar Flare, found out he flunked out and saw how lost he was because of it, she started trying to plan everything out for him, to the point he stopped being in contact with the village at all, hence not contacting Starlight.
Man, those two have some serious parents issues. Guess we can kinda relate there.
Once history gets to the point Starlight leaves Sire’s Hollow, I return back to the frozen moment where Starlight was going to cast the spell and get ready, before unfreezing time.
She casts the spell, only to suddenly find her horn encased in a jawbreaker and her legs bound to her side as we all fly back into the portal.
Once time’s back to the way it should be, we’ll explain to her just why her plan is wrong. I’ll even show her all the alternate timelines she didn’t see, from their past points, before we had gotten to them.
Maybe, once she’s realized how wrong she was, we can get her back on the right path.
Who knows, maybe she’ll even be able to become friends with the Mane 6. She and I can certainty bond over parental problems.
We’ll have to wait and see.
Reject Sailor Moon Villain vs Toei Hero Parody. Because why not?
I watch Twilight and the others walk off through the castle halls, Starlight alongside them.
They all discussed it and decided the best way to help Starlight is for Twilight to mentor Starlight in friendship like Celestia had her.
I just hope Twilight doesn’t mentor her the exact same way Celestia did, sending Starlight out to fight demonized ponies corrupted by Dark Magic or the like.
Yeah, Celestia’s teaching methods are kind of fucked up, when you really think about it.
I shake my head, putting that out of mind and preparing to snap my fingers (I’m currently in my Anthro form, because I felt like it) to teleport to the EQG world. Wonder when I’ll get there. Along with seeing how the Friendship Games are going, I’ve someone to drop off.
I sigh as I sit on a bench not too far from Canterlot High.
Man, my last two teleports have been a bit rough. I had to time travel so I was before the events of Friendship Games and I think my body is sick of the time travel and wants a rest from it for a while, because, when I landed, it felt like someone had punched me in the gut.
Anyway, when I arrived, I went straight to where Sonata and Aria had set up their new life and handed them their sister back.
Adagio was very shaken up by her rehab and was very sincere when she promised never to be cruel or evil again. I even made her Pinkie Promise, just to be sure… though Cheese Legs did find a way around that. Still, I doubt the tone deaf siren could do much to get around it like that one did.
Once the sirens were all set, I teleported back to CHS… which is why I’m now sitting on this bench, letting myself rest.
I think, as long as I don’t do any teleports or time jumps for a few hours, maybe a day, I’ll be fine.
Guess even a being of Chaos will feel some side effects of jumping around in a muddled mess of the space time continuum. Plus the fact I’m still getting used to the power boast from absorbing the magic of the me from the Discord timeline.
I’m half-heartedly listening to Dean Cadance’s commentary on round 2, but you can’t blame me for not paying full attention. Restoring your own magical stabilities isn’t exactly a walk in the park.
Suddenly, I’m jerked back to reality by a magical disturbance. I recognize it too. The feeling when another’s magic is being drained.
Oh, boy. Looks like Sci-Twi’s accidently stealing AJ’s magic. Time to move my keester.
Apparently I forgot my own advice from earlier, beucase I stupidly teleport to the field, at once being hit with nausea. It takes about a minute to shake it off and when I look up, the plants from the Everfree Forest are on full attack.
At once, I see several vines heading towards the stands. A wave of my arm and a crystalline wall surrounds the stands full of students, just as the plants lunge. When they make contact they scream and shrivel up.
Putting that aside, I make a flaming weed whacker form in my right hand and shoot forward, slicing through the head of a plant that was aiming for Sugarcoat, while Dash follows after Sunset, before moving to save that Diet Lightning Dust girl who’s name escapes me right now.
As the head of the plant I got bursts into flames, reducing to ashes as it nears Sugarcoat, the girl just stares at me in shock and confusion… which is when I realize I’m floating in the air. Whoops. Then again, Dash just sprouted wings, so is a floating child really all that surprising to this girl?
Several plants, seeing no way of getting to the students in the stands, turn their attention towards the four school heads and lunge out towards them.
I shoot forward, swinging my weapon as Dash flies by me, knocking a plant right into my line of sight, ending its existence.
“Screwball?” she asked, shocked to see me.
I wink. “Hey. Thought I’d come join the fun. Man, school events just aren’t like they used t’ be, huh?”
The Wonderbolts are declared the winners, with Dean Cadance then calling everyone to the gym, my crystalline protection wall shimmering away to let them go.
“Is everybody alright?” Applejack asks as the rest of the group comes over, before noticing me. “Screwball? What in the hay are you doin’ here?”
I shrug, pocketing my flaming weed whacker and snickering at the dumbfounded look I get for defying the laws of physcis in such a way. “Had to drop off my inmate. She served her time. Then I popped by to see how the games were going. Since when did avoiding killing plants from the Everfree Forest become a part of the school’s sports regime?”
“They weren’t,” Dash shakes her head, landing. “And we’re better than alright, AJ. We won!”
The other girls all cheer.
Sunset pulls off her helmet, her expression strained. “Yeah, we won. But somebody could’ve been seriously hurt! Heck, if Screwball hadn’t come along, how do we know Dash would’ve been able to handle those plants all on her own?”
Hmm. Hate to admit it, but Sunset has a point. The plants didn’t go after Sugarcoat a second time in the movie, nor did they go after the school heads. Dash wouldn’t have been able to save them without my intervening.
Sunset throw her arms in the air. “The magic is going haywire and I’ve no clue how ta fix it!”
“Um... excuse me,” a voice says, causing us to turn to see Sci-Twi was standing nearby, holding the pednant that sucks out magic.
At once I teleport back several feet, ignoring the discomfort of it.
When the others all look back at me with confusion and I call, “I’m not taking any chances. You’ll see in a sec!”
I watch and listen from a distance, til Rainbow, grinning, walks towards the girl and I know says, “That’s okay. Neither do we.”
“Oh no!” Twilight cries as the pendant levitates and pulls her a bit closer towards Rainbow Dash. “No, no-no-no! Not again!”
I watch from my position as Rainbow’s magic is sucked out of her into the pendant.
Sunset rushes forward, grabbing Rainbow as she drops to her knees, looking drained.
I watch as a rift opens up above us. Frowning, I stretch my senses out a little. Huh. That feels like the Nightmare Moon timeline. Yikes. Better get that closed before she sees it… not that Nightmare would have much power here, but that would still screw with the timeline as Twi and I were in it.
Oh, I do not need to worry about meeting another version of me.
That’s actually how the Changeling timeline wasn’t dead. In my own future, I travel back to that world and keep the day and night cycle going until Twi and my past self free the princesses.
“You’re supposed to be so smart,” Sunset’s voice pulls me back into the present, “but did you ever think you shouldn’t be messing with things you don’t understand?”
Sunset forces the pendant closed and the hole in the sky closes up, leaving the sky as empty and blue as before, as if no opening between the worlds had ever opened there.
“But I wanna understand—” Tears are welling in Sci-Twi’s eyes.
“But you don’t!” Sunset cuts the lavender girl off, pushing the pendant down. “And worst of all, you put the lives of my friends in danger!”
“I’m sorry,” Sci-Twi says, taking a step back. “I didn’t mean to.” With that she runs off, sobbing.
“Twilight, wait!” Spike calls, running after her.
Sunset stands, fuming, but when Rainbow Dash puts a hand on her shoulder, her expression blanks for a moment, before she face-palms.
“Yeah…” I say slowly, coming over. “That could’ve gone better.”
“And why didn’t you try t’ help?” AJ demands, hands on her hips.
I scowl. “You saw what just happened with RD’s magic and that pendant. Do you honestly wanna risk adding my Chaos Magic to the mix in that thing?”
They all stand there for a moment, before shuddering.
Yeah, that’s best not even left to the imagination. I’d hate to see what Midnight Sparkle would do with Chaos Magic, combined with the rest of the magic she will already have.
“You can’t possibly call that a fair race,” my attention is drawn to Cinch. I indicate to the girls and we start heading over.
“Principal Cinch, we all saw what happened,” Principal Celestia says as we get close. “You can’t think CHS had some kind of advantage.
Cinch raises an eyebrow. “Can’t I? Even without your trained attack plants, your students have wings!”
“Wings that weren’t used to win the race,” I cut in glaring, popping into being right in front of Cinch, causing her to step back in shock. This always bugged me, even if it made sense with how evil this bitch is. “In case you missed it, when Rainbow sprouted her wings, she stopped being in the race. Sunset is the one who crossed the finish line, not Dash. Why? Because she and I were saving your students asses, along with your own! Hell, it was one of your students who unleashed those plants on the field, not ours! If anyone had the unfair advantage, it was your school, Cinch!”
“Well, the race certainly had some... extenuating circumstances,” Celestia puts a hand on my shoulder, getting me to stop, clearly wanting to keep things from escalating. “Perhaps we should end the games now and declare a tie.”
Cinch scoffs. “A tie? Was this your strategy all along? To force us into accepting you as equals? I think not. The games will continue and Crystal Prep will prevail despite your antics and whatever performance-enhancing regimen your students are on.”
With that, she walks off, myself making a mental note to fill her car with tar later.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t stop all this from happening,” Sunset says, coming up to Celestia.
Celestia shakes her head. “It’s not your fault, Sunset.”
Sunset sighs. “Isn’t it? I should know how to control the magic I brought here. But I don’t. I let everyone down.” She scowls. “And now Principal Cinch thinks we’re cheating.”
Yeah, even with the facts put out in front of her. Guess she really only cares about winning, no matter what and ignores all evidence to any wrong doings that could’ve been done on her school’s part.
Principal Celestia puts a hand on Sunset’s shoulder. “It doesn’t matter what Principal Cinch thinks.”
Sunset shakes it off. “But it does. The students here at CHS don’t just wanna win. They wanna beat Crystal Prep. It isn’t gonna count if the other side doesn’t really think they lost. Crystal Prep is never gonna believe we won fair and square if there’s magic around. And that magic is only around... because of me.”
“Since the score’s tied, the final event will determine the winner of the Friendship Games,” Cadance says into the mic.
I’m sitting next to Diamond and Silver, watching as the final part in this all plays out. I’m watching the Shadowbolts side.
By the looks of it, they’re about to get into Unleash the Magic.
I ignore everything else around me, my eyes narrowed at the distant form of Cinch. I can hear what she’s saying and, especially now, it’s really irritating me. Talking about how CHS cheated with magic and how it’s only fair they do the same to even the playing field… when CHS hasn’t cheated at all. Them using magic to win this final event would be an unfair advantage because they’d be using it solely for the games, whereas CHS used it to save the students.
As the song goes on, however, I find myself cocking an eyebrow in shock as something hits me that I hadn’t realized before. During the song, Cinch says she only gets a few good students like Twilight... in a way that implies she sees the other students in her school as below Sci-Twi’s level.
The fuck, man? Why aren’t her students noticing this and getting offended? Sheesh.
As Twilight moves to open the locket, I get up.
“Screwy?” Diamond looks up at me in confusion.
“Sorry, sis,” I say, floating up into the air. “Gotta deal with another magical disaster about to happen.”
I fly down just as Sunset starts running to stop Sci-Twi. Of course, we arrive too late, the shock wave from the magic knocking me back and disorienting me for a moment.
“Heeeeeeeeeelllllllp... meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” I shake my head to clear my thoughts in time to see Sci-Twi finish being sucked into the sphere of unstable magic, crying out a grunt as she’s fully enveloped.
When the sphere fades, Midnight Sparkle is floating in the air. She cackles, before looking to Sunset. “You were right! I didn’t understand magic before, but I do now!”
She charges her horn, firing a blast of magic from her hand, destroying the Wondercolts statue, opening a rift that reveals…
Sunset’s eyes widen. “Equestria!”
The magical cracks spread down to the ground, moving along the pavement until it’s underneath us and we all leap out of the way as Midnight fires another blast where we’d just been standing.
“Twilight, you can’t do this!” Sunset calls out.
Midnight smirks at her. “Why not?! There’s a whole other world right there, and it’s just filled with magic!” she finishes by blasting another rift, narrowly avoiding hitting Celestia.
Sunset indicates to the newly opened rift. “But you’re destroying this world to get it!”
Midnight’s smirk deepens. “So what? There’s more magic there, and I want to understand it all!”
She fires a blast at the ground, causing a gaping hole to open up, revealing an above view of Ponyville.
Thinking fast, I create a duo of Indiana Jones whips and grab several students that were going to fall in and yanking them all back, while the Crystal Prep students help those I missed.
“This isn’t the way!” after setting the students I saved safely aside, I look to see Sunset giving her big speech.
It ends with her pooling the magic of her friends together and turning into her Madoka Form.
Midnight stares for a moment, then grins. “Do you really think you can stop me, all on your own?”
Sunset shakes her head. “As long as I have my friends, I’m never own my own.”
“Plus, she’s not the only one you’ll be up against, Midnight,” I step forward, reaching into my pocket and pulling out a single card. At the same time, a metallic belt appears around my waist in a slew of bubbles.
Midnight cocks an eyebrow.
“Henshin,” I call out, slipping the card into the belt’s slot and slamming it.
Kamen Rider: Choas! the computerized Japaneighs voice says, bubbles springing from the belt and spreading over me. When they all finish popping, it’s to reveal I’m now clad in my Kamen Rider Chaos armour, with all the power perks that come with it.
Midnight blinks in utter confusion, as does everyone else, including Sunset.
“Just who or what are you?” Midnight asks, confusion and curiosty blending together in her voice. Huh. Nice to know I was able to reach Sci-Twi with something so random.
Oh, she made that too easy.
“Just a passing through Kamen Rider,” I say, standing on one foot, grabbing a card from my belt and holding my arms in front of me like a puppy begging. “Remember that.”
I flick my hand holding the card, it flying into the belt.
Prank ride: Face Plant.
At once, Midnight finds herself dropping from the sky, smashing face first into the ground.
Midnight growls as she pushes herself up, her hands glowing with her magic, which she fires at me, which I dodge by flipping into the air, slipping a card into the belt as I do.
Prank ride: Hover.
Flames burst from my feet like the Ironman armour and I meet up with Sunset, who is still staring at me. “What…?”
I snicker, even though she can’t see it from under my helmet. “Choas, Sunny.”
“Enough!” we look down to see Midnight shoot up at us, her hands still glowing with magic.
Sunset’s hands glow with yellow magic and they shoot forward, colliding, blinding everyone else for a moment with the flash of light their impact creates.
When it fades, they both fly back, before storing up energy blasts for the DBZ laser fight.
I slip a card in, not wanting to be left out. Prank ride: DBZ Rip off!
I put my hands together, a sphere of orange energy forming. I join Sunset in firing it as Midnight fires hers. The energy beams makes contact.
For several moments, it seems strangely even. Huh. Midnight must be stronger than the movie let on.
“Twilight!” I hear just as Sunset starts to falter.
Glancing down, I see Spike’s looking up like he did in the movie… but Midnight isn’t noticing. Guess I’ll have to make her.
Being sure not to slacken my part in our combined energy blasts, I slip my right hand down and pull out a card, slamming it back in.
Prank ride: Bed Pan!
At once, a bed pan appears above Midnight’s had and drops down, forcing her to look downward and notice Spike.
“Spike,” she murmurs, her eyes returning to Sci-Twi’s for a second.
Sunset seems to notice this and increases her energy output. At once, Midnight seems to reassert herself… and something is different.
In the movie, Sunset is easily able to overpower Midnight after Spike awakens Sci-Twi’s consciousness. But, watching, though it’s clear Midnight is faltering enough that she’s not pushing Sunset back, she’s still in control of the situation.
Guess I’ll get to show off after all.
“Don’t let up,” I say, stopping my own contribution to the energy blast and leaping back through the air. “Wait for my single.”
“Okay,” Sunset grunts, a bead of sweat forming on her brow.
“You will never stop me!” Midnight growls, any humour she’d had about the situation gone as I see the strain on her face. She’s having to now fight both Sunset and the influence of Sci-Twi trying to regain control.
Well, I’m about to make that even harder for her.
Reaching a good couple feet back from the fight and high enough, I slip out my final card, with just has the symbol on my belt looking like it’s got energy bursting from behind it. I slam it into the belt.
Final Prank ride: C-C-C-C-CHAOS!
At once, I start spinning like a bottle top, bubbles, streaming and balloons popping into existence and swirling around me. After a few seconds, I shoot downward, my right foot stretched out.
“Now, Sunset!” I cry as a flash past her.
“What in the world—?” Midnight begins, only to be cut off as my foot makes contact with her stomach.
She grunts, stumbling back, barely maintaining her attack, her focus being further hindered by the barrage of balloon, bubbles and streamers that followed after me, giving Sunset the opening she needs for her power to overtake Midnight’s, creating a blinding white light to all save the three of us.
Next second, I’m floating over to Sunset as she, myself and Sci-Twi now in control of her currently Midnight formed body, float in an expanse of white.
“Take my hand, Twilight,” Sunset says, holding out a hand as the two of us float closer to her. “Let me show you there’s another way... just like someone once did for me.” She finishes that by giving a quick wink to me and I smirk under my helmet.
The light fades and the three of us are back to normal.
I smile at the exchange, even chuckling when Spike happily tackles Sci-Twi to the ground.
“Principal Celestia,” and angry voice calls out and all joy I was just feeling at getting to have fun as a Kamen Rider again and helping Sci-Twi turning into annoyance as I turn to see Cinch stomping up towards the Canterlot High heads. “On behalf of Crystal Prep, I demand that you forfeit the Friendship Games!” She indicates towards myself and Sunset. “Clearly, CHS has had unfair advantage for quite some time! And it’s certainly obvious that your students have been using magic for their own benefit!”
Yes, because saving your students from Hentai Plant monsters last round and then the very fabric of all reality this time round is unfairly using magic for CHS’ benefit and no one else’s.
God, it sounded stupid enough for her to say in the movie, but does she even hear herself?
Principal Celestia just deadpans, before smirking. “I’d like to think that saving the world benefits us all.”
“At least they didn’t manipulate Twilight into releasing all the stolen magic and turning into a power-crazed magical creature that tried to rip the world apart just to win a game,” Sugarcoat says, folding her arms.
There’s silence for a moment.
“Wow!” Pinkie says, looking shocked. “That’s a lot to take in when you say it all at once.”
And coming from any version of Pinkie, that’s saying something.
Cinch just glares. “That’s ridiculous!”
Spike deapans. “Nope, that’s pretty much what happened.”
Sour Sweet looks down in shame. “Actually, we’re all to blame.” Her expression immediately turns into a scowl. “Mostly it was her.”
Cinch’s right eye twitches, before she turns her glare back to Celestia. “Obviously my students have been infected with your magic, but I plan on taking all of this up with the school board!”
Celestia just smirks. “Good. I’m sure they would be very interested in hearing all about the magical students with wings who cheat by saving the lives of their opponents.”
“And, it’s not like they don’t already know we have magic at this school,” I grin, popping up, floating right in front of her face, causing the older woman to startle back several steps. I fold my arms. “Ya know, what with my mother being head of the board and knowing that we don’t use magic to our advantage in something as simple as a game. I’m sure she’ll totally ignore when my sister and I tell her what really happened, over your “They cheated with magic by saving my students and the world” excuse. Yeah. Sure that’ll go over well.”
Spike smirks from Sci-Twi’s arms “Because that would never ruin your reputation.”
Cinch looks around angrily, seeing that no one, not even any one of her own students, is going to back her up, before giving a very posh huffing and walks off.
“I don’t care what Principal Cinch says,” Indigo Zap says as we bump fits outside the Crystal Prep bus. “It’s been more fun getting to know everyone at CHS than it ever was playing against them.”
Huh. Why did I just get a weird feeling. As if what Indigo just says was a reason for exemption from something. Eh. Probably nothing.
“Crystal Prep is definitely going to be a different place now,” Cadance says, smiling at me. “And I can’t help getting the feeling you’ve known something about this from the start, Screwball.”
I put my hands behind my head, whistling innocently. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Cadance.” Then I smirk. “So, turns out I’, not the only one who was getting dirt on Cinch, huh?”
She gives a light smirk herself, before looking away. “I always knew things were going bad with Crystal Prep’s running the last couple years, but knowing she was willing to put Twilight’s future in danger?” a scowl passes over her face. “She crossed the line.”
I nod, waving. “Whelp, count on me coming for the court case. And good luck with Crystal Prep, Principal Cadance.”
I walk off, seeing Sci-Twi joining the girl’s by the portal and smile.
“Um… Screwball?” I pause and turn to see Diamond standing a little nearby, an uncertain look on her face. “There’s… there’s someone here who wants to meet you.”
I cock an eyebrow. “Um, okay. Who?”
She looks around a corner and nods.
As the person standing behind the corner comes out… my eyes widen. A well-aged woman with pink skin and purple hair, wearing a turquoise-blue dress steps forward, her greenish-blue eyes filled a compassion and kindness I have never ever scene.
“You’re Screwball, yes?” she asks tentatively. “You’re the reason my little Lilac is doing so well at last? And why my Diamond is able to shine her fullest again?”
I just stand there, like a deer in headlights. I… this is too soon. I… I’m not prepared for…
My eyes widen to their max when Spoiled steps forward and pulls me into a warm hug.
“I would be honoured if you’d spend the night at our house… and to call you my daughter too,” she murmurs softly.
I can’t respond. This… this hug. It… it’s warm… It’s been so long, I… I never thought I could feel such loving warmth ever again. The love… of a mother.
I fall into her embrace and return the hug, tears pooling in my eyes and sliding down my cheeks as a smile I can’t and wouldn’t fight comes to my face.
“Yes. Yes. Yes, and I want the meeting as soon as possible. I do not take kindly to students in any of my schools being blackmailed,” Mum hugs up, clicking the end button on her phone.
“Wow,” Diamond gulps. “Last time I saw mother that angry was when he first treated me badly.”
“I appreciate it,” I smile, snapping my fingers, the holographic screen that was floating before us vanishing in a flash of light. “It’s more care for other students than Equestria’s Spoiled Rich, I can promise you.”
Diamond and I are in her bedroom, sitting on her bed. She’s wearing a silk tops and long pants, while I’m wearing a simple pair of summer pyjamas with Discord designs over them.
After she surprised me at the friendship games, Spoiled brought me over to hers and Diamond’s home. It’s not as fancy as the one they have back in Equestria. In fact, it’s quite humble, by comparison. A simple apartment building with a few rooms and a lovely view of Canterlot.
It’s a temporary home. Diamond says mum’s working hard to make sure, once everything is finalized, even if not the original mansion, they’ll still have a much bigger home than this.
And… yeah. I call this version of Spoiled Mum. She feels like the mother I should have. After all, due to my own stupidity, I gave up my memories of my real world mother. Even my power boast from taking that alternate me’s magic didn’t help. I ended up ruining those memories, permanently.
Now, though, I feel the hole left in my heart by losing that mother is filled. Not fully, but enough.
“Mommy scary when angry.” We both turn to Lilac. She’s wearing a plain pink nightie, sitting behind the both of us.
Diamond and I glance at each other, before smiling and pulling my double into a group hug.
“Girls?” Mum calls from the other side of the door and knocking. “Pizza’s here.”
The three of us grin and race for the door, stumbling over each other and ending up in a pile on the floor, laughing.
I missed this. Celestia, I missed this more than I thought.
Once we finish untangling ourselves (after which I smack myself for forgetting I have magic), we head out into the small living room, where Mum’s setting down three pizza boxes next to several bottles of soda. She’s wearing a nightie similar to Lilac’s, but cyan blue.
“The movie store didn’t have much on such short notice, but I hope this movie will be fine for the night,” she says, holding up a DVD case.
I look at it, before being taken aback. It has an image of a very familiar large red and black centaur on the front, standing over a city.
“The Rise of Tirek?” Diamond takes the case from our mother and looks it over. “Well, there’s a first time for everything, right? Maybe this will be the time a video game adapted into a movie is actually good.”
I blink, before cocking my eyebrow at her. “Wait. So, in Equestria, Tirek’s a soul-sucking centaur from Tartarus… but here’s he’s just a video game bad guy?”
Tiara gives me a cocked eyebrow in return. “… You’re joking at the soul-sucking and from Tartarus thing… right?”
I glance away, scratching my chin as I gave a fake smile. “Well… the soul-sucking part, kinda. He sucked out other ponies’ magic, draining them of it completely… but that’s kinda a soul, so… sorta?”
Diamond just stares blankly at me, as if not sure how to actually react to that and her brain has shut down all other functions until it is finished coming to a conclusion.
Mum chuckles. “What’s say we just watch the movie and leave any possible implications as to how they reflect to another world alone for the night?”
Lilac giggles and hugs her.
I flick Diamond’s ear to snap her out of it and we nod, all of us moving over to the sofa and sitting down to watch the movie, Lilac on Mum’s left, myself on her right.
The movie is… okay, yeah, like pretty much every video game movie, ever, it’s bad. Like, really bad. I actually find myself laughing a lot at it, especially when comparing the Tirek in the movie to the one from Equestria. Wow, this movie stinks something fierce and it seems my laughter helps the others find it funny, too.
Throughout the movie, Lilac remains snuggled against Mum. She’s like a child, despite her being the same age as Diamond and myself. It’s cute though and makes a good contrast between the two of us so, even though she’s my double from this world; she is so drastically different and unique.
Once Rise of Tirek is done, we watch a few more movies, comedy dramas.
Around 9:35pm, Lilac is asleep against mother, who gets me to help her take Lilac to her room. Despite only leaving the hospital a short while ago, Lilac sleeps with Mum.
I can understand why. After all, her mind is far younger than her body and she’s still getting used to so much. It makes sense she’d want to sleep with the only parent who cared about her.
As soon as Lilac’s in the bed, she gives mumbled groans, reaching around the bed, as if looking for something.
Mother chuckles. “Guess I’ll be turning in, too. Do you and Diamond mind cleaning up?”
I shake my head. “It’s no problem. With or without magic.”
She nods, before reaching out and pulling me into a hug. “I’m glad we got time to hang out, Screwball. I hope we’ll have more time, too.”
I return the hug, melting into its warmth, nodding into her shoulder. “Thank you, too, Mum. And I guarantee it.”
Whimpers from the bed make us pull back, both of us chuckling lightly, before Mum gets into bed with Lilac, who holds onto her at once, her expression calming and her breathing becoming steady again.
I smile at the sight as Mum pulls Lilac into a hug and closes her eyes, before I turn and walk out, gently closing the door behind me.
Diamond and I clean up the empty pizza boxes and soda bottles, myself levitating them all into a pile clearing met for recycling, before we both head into Diamond’s room, where a sleeping bag is set up next to her bed.
“So, will you stay long tomorrow?” she asks as I clap my hands, the lights turning out.
I lean back in my sleeping bag, my hands behind my head. “I probably should. Twilight will be coming back through the portal sometime tomorrow and I wanna know just how things were going with Starlight Glimmer after I left.” Not to mention a few loose ends regarding a few of the alternate timelines.
Diamond snorts. “Sheesh. What’s with all these similar names of those who interacted with your princess? She’s Twilight Sparkle, who replaced Sunset Shimmer and now she’s taken on a student of her own called Starlight Glimmer?”
I’m not gonna comment on that.
I snuggle down, closing my eyes and letting sleep take me, smiling as memories of the last couple hours replay in my mind.
I wave to the girls, who are all sitting around where the Wondercolts statue once was, now just the base.
As I near, I sense a magical disturbance and grin as the portal starts to ripple.
This gonna be good.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t get here sooner,” Twilight says as she comes through the stone, glancing behind at the portal. “It’s just I didn’t get your messages until just now because I was caught in this time travel loop and, honestly, it was the strangest thing that’s ever happened to me.”
She looks ahead, before her eyes go wide as she finally sees the Sci-Twi, who is staring back at her with an uncertain smile and waving, while is Spike staring, jaw agape.
All remains silent for a few moments as they stare at each other, the only sound being Pinkie sipping her drink, myself barely holding back as I keep my hand over my mouth.
“Make that the second strangest,” Twilight says, an uncertain smile coming to her own face.
I can’t do it. I burst out laughing, startling everyone, who watch as I roll around in the air for several seconds, holding my sides.
Just as quickly, I’m standing between the two Twilights, a smirk on my face as I indicate between them. “Twilight, Twilight. Twilight, Twilight. Or have you both met?”
Everyone just stares, not really sure how to react.
“There’s… there’s a version of me in this world, too?!” Twilight finally manages, her eyes fixed on her glasses-wearing double.
“Tch,” we all turn to Pinkie, who has a smug smile on her face. “Uh… yah. What, did you forget I asked if she was your twin sister back when you first came here?”
They all just stare blankly at her as I smirk, now sitting next to her, cross-legged, my hands on my knees. “Yeah, Twi. It ain’t that big a shock.”
“But… but that would mean…” Twilight puts a hand on her head, before looking at Pinkie in absolute shock. “How could you even know that?”
It’s my turn to snort. “Really, Twilight? After everything our Pinkie does, you’re questioning how another Pinkie can do what she does? Really?”
Twilight opens her mouth to argue, but closes it, her face going blank. “That shouldn’t make sense… yet somehow, it does, perfectly!”
“Um… i-is it really safe for you to be here?” we all look to Sci-Twi, who’s backing away slowly. “T-Two of the same beings from different dimensions can’t exist in the same space! I-if we were to make contact—”
I groan, snapping my fingers, the two Twilights now finding themselves inches appart, myself between them. I grab their wrists and slap their hands together.
Sci-Twi screams in fright, before her scream quietens and she notices she’s still around, her hand still in contact with her other dimensional self.
I sigh, folding my arms. “That baloney about the different dimensional stuff is a load of tripe. I’ve been in physical contact with my double for ages at a times recently, and, look at me. I’m still here. The world isn’t ended. It’s all fine.”
“Huh,” Sci-Twi slowly pulls her hand back, looking from it to her double.
“Okay. You crazy kids have fun, now,” I say, running for the portal. “Me and Glim Glam have some issues to sort out.”
“Wait. What? Screwball—” Twilight cries out, but is cut off as I enter the vortex.
“So, we’re clear, Glim Glam?” I ask as we appear in the last of the altered timelines, the Wasteland.
She nods, looking around sadly. “I can’t believe I caused this… all for revenge for something so stupid.”
I float up and put a hoof on her shoulder as she shudders, though I’m not sure if that’s from thinking about what she’s done, or the wrongness of this timeline. There is no magic in the air. It is literally a dead world.
We’ve just spent a spent about two hours taking Starlight to all the alternate timelines Twilight, Spike and I were forced to deal with every time she’d stopped the Rainboom, but jumping back in those timelines to long before we’d arrived for most of them, showing her the darker times each one faced, with us merely being spectators, like what Discord did with Twilight back in part two of Return to Harmony.
In hindsight… I should’ve been a bit more careful with that. When we got to the Changeling timeline… is was mere moments before that timeline’s Chrysalis ended Twilight.
It wasn’t pretty. But, thankfully, I wasn’t so foolish with the Sombra timelines or any of the others after.
We also popped into the timeline where Sunset is an Alicorn and overthrew Celestia. I repaired the mirror and, leaving that world frozen in time briefly, went into their EQG world to find Princess Celestia.
She had, thankfully, been taken in by her human double… though not before experiencing some of the… less than pleasant differences between the human world and Equestria.
It’s gonna be a while before that timeline’s problems are properly sorted out, but I feel it’s better I don’t mess with it. Celestia herself even advised against it.
We visited the other Alicorn Sunset, the one who became the Princess of Friendship in her timeline, so I could assure her her timeline was safe, even promising to come visit.
After that, we had one last trip. Which is where we are now.
Arriving back, I felt like I was going to be sick. A lifeless world is something no being should every experience.
I stretch out my senses, finding the only living thing left in this world. Even the cockroaches are dead.
Teleporting to the life source’s location… we’re met with a sad sight.
Sunset Shimmer is hulled up in a broken down building in what used to be Manehatten. Despite my best efforts, I hadn’t been able to arrive the moment I’d sensed her arriving through the portal last time we were here.
She looks ragged, her coat slightly dull as she lays in a pile of blankets. Strewn around her are cans of vegetables, the only kinds of food that have lasted in this dead world, with a knife sitting nearby, likely how she opens the cans with no access to her magic. There are scratches and scars on her face around her mouth, indicating failed attempts at opening the can.
The moment we appear she leaps up, if a little clumsily, in fright, her eyes wide.
Then, her eyes water and she rushes forward, hugging us tightly.
“Sweet Celestia. I thought I was the only pony left.” She pulls back, looking from Starlight to me, myself having had the hindsight to take on my adult form. “What happened to Equestria? Where’s Princess Celestia? Why won’t my magic work? Where’ve you two been? What’s going on?”
I glance at Starlight, who looks down, too ashamed.
I sigh, looking to Sunset and put a hoof on her shoulder. “Sunset… I’m sorry. This world is dead.”
She just stares at me as if she didn’t understand. “What…? What do you mean… dead?”
I sigh, looking to Starlight again. “There was a very misguided pony.” I look back to Sunset. “A unicorn. She led herself to believe Cutie Marks are evil and wanted to make all of Equestria equal.” Sorry if this hurts, Glim Glam, but it’s gotta be said. “One day, Princess Celestia and her long lost sister, Princess Luna went to stop her after a single pony managed to escape in the dead of night and made it to Canterlot. When they arrived, the unicorn took both their Cutie Marks, taking away their ability to keep the Sun and Moon moving. And, with day and night out of sync… the whole world suffered. By the time the unicorn realized her mistake… it was too late.”
Sunset just stares at me, her eyes telling me she doesn’t want to believe me.
“No…” she takes several steps back, shaking her head. “No, you’re lying. It… it can’t be true. It… it just can’t.”
“It is… Sunset,” Starlight murmurs quietly, before sighing, looking up to her mournfully. “Screwball and I are not from here, but she is a being of Chaos, so her powers still work, even here.”
Sunset doesn’t seem to have heard her. “I… I can’t…”
“Sunset.” Her head darts up as I put a hoof on her shoulder, giving her a firm, but sad expression. “This world is gone. You’re only hope is the other world, the one you went to after you abandoned Celestia’s teachings.”
Sunset just stares at me, before her body sags. She slumps to the floor. “I… I should’ve stayed there. The portal won’t open anymore. Nothing I do would open it. I can’t go back… I don’t even have anything to go back to.”
I snort, stomping a hoof, causing the two unicorns to flinch. “You do have something and someone to return to, Sunset Shimmer. I will take you back there myself. It will be the last time you travel between the two worlds, but you will be far better off there than if you stayed in this dead world.”
Sunset gets the smallest of frowns. “How? You said so yourself. This world is dead. There’s no magic left. The portal is just an ordinary mirror now.”
I look to Starlight, who nods. “Promise you’ll come back for me?”
I nod back, extra limps sprouting from my back and performing the motions. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
Starlight gives a weak smile, before nodding, closing her eyes.
Taking Sunset’s hoof, I revert to my younger self and teleport us away.
“What are you doing here, you liar?!” Rainbow Dash demanded, pointing a finger at Applejack.
The farm girl glared right back. “Yer one ta talk about lyin’, Rainbow Dash.”
“And just what’s that supposed to mean?” the alethic girl growled back.
“It would seem we all received the same message from Vic Principal Luna,” Rarity said, looking around at the gathered group of five as they all stood in front of the bleachers of the soccer field.
“Indeed.” They all jumped, turning to see their Vice Principal walking towards them, a very firm expression on her face.
The five gulped.
“Um, i-if we’ve done something wrong, Vice Principal Luna, we’re all very sorry,” Fluttershy quivered in her place, Rarity putting a hand on her shoulder.
“Speak for yourself,” Pinkie Pie huffed, folding her arms, before wilting when the adult raised an eyebrow at her. “Sorry.”
“Frankly, the fact this version is somehow still set before the third movie is puzzling,” Luna said, shaking her head.
That caused worry to be replaced by slight confusion, the five all looking to each other.
“Um, beg pardon, Vice Principal Luna,” Rarity asked, her voice quivering slightly, “but… what do you mean, exactly?”
The woman before them smirked. “At least that might make things a bit easier,” she said in a voice that sounded nothing light her own, before they were all blinded by a flash of white light.
I can’t help snickering at the confused expressions the five girls have when the light fades and I’m back to my normal, younger self.
Not sure how, but somehow the disruption to the timeline of the Wasteland effected this world, too, so the Fall Formal events are several weeks away.
Ripples in time are odd that way, sometimes. This does make what I have in mind easier, though.
“You all have been bickering and your friendships with each other strained because you each think the other has done something or still does something to harm the other,” I say, pointing lazily to each in turn. “However, I have someone who wishes to clear up this mess, so your friendship doesn’t break.”
Looking behind them, I nod, causing them all to turn.
From behind the bleachers steps someone it seems to take them all a second to recognize. When they do, they all gasp.
Sunset, looking as ragged and pale as she did in the Wasteland, only now a human. Her eyes are downcast and glazed.
“Sunset Shimmer?” Fluttershy asks, looking from the broken girl before them.
“What happened to her?” Rarity asks, glancing to me, only to not see me. I cough and she turns to find I’m standing next to Sunset now, a hand on her arm.
“I’m… I’m the one who sent you those messages and emails,” Sunset says, her voice hollow and dull. Damn, living for a few days in the Wasteland, followed by my confirming all her worst fears of what could’ve happened were true, she really isn’t the girl from before. No need for the Elements to fix her.
The girls all stare at her, before glancing to each other.
“So… ya didn’t just not come ta mah bake sale when ya said ya would?” AJ asks Dash.
“And you didn’t really change the date it was on?” Dash asks in reply.
“You don’t not value my efforts?” Rarity asks Pinkie Pie.
“Of course I value them,” Pinkie shakes her head. “I’ve wanted more help.” Then pink girl turns to the last of the five. “And… sorry. I guess you didn’t tell me you wanted a big party, huh?”
Fluttershy shakes her head. “I should’ve talked to you about it.”
I cough, getting their attention and at once they all narrow their eyes slightly at Sunset.
“I’m… I’m so sorry for what I did,” Sunset looks around to each other them. “I was so selfish. I just thought I could do what I wanted so I could go back home and… and…”
Tears well in her eyes and she drops to the ground and she starts to weep.
At once, Fluttershy rushes forward, pauses, before leaning down and pulling the other yellow girl into a hug, which she returns.
The other girls just stare, open mouthed, before looking to me for an explanation.
I sigh, folding my arms. Here goes nothing. “Okay. Sunset isn’t actually from here. She comes from an alternate world, where she’s a pony, a unicorn, to be presence.”
At once, the four looking at me deadpan.
“Ah highly doubt this is the time fer jokes, little one,” Applejack folds her arms.
Dash nods. “Seriously? We don’t like Sunset Shimmer, but if something bad’s happened and it clearly has, what do you know?”
I shrug. “I’m speaking the truth here. She and I are both from different realities. I was able to get her back here only because I’m a being of Chaos, to whom most rules don’t apply. And to prove my point…”
I snap my fingers and the four finally find themselves in the forms of their pony selves.
“What in the—?” Dash yells, unintentionally flapping her wings and causing herself to lift off the ground a bit.
Rarity cries out in alarm, putting her hooves over her eyes.
Applejack is looking her body over in shock.
Pinkie… is just looking around at them, an eyebrow raised. “What’s Fluttershy?”
I roll my eyes, snapping my fingers, returning them to their original self, Dash flopping back to the ground with a grunt.
“Believe me now?” I cock an eyebrow, arms folded.
They all nod, before looking towards Sunset, whom Fluttershy is still comforting.
“So… what’s so bad about all this?” Applejack finally asks after several moments, looking to me. “Why’s Sunset so upset about bein’ a pony fer?”
I sigh, closing my eyes. “Her world is dead.”
“WHAT?!”
I tell them exactly what I told Sunset, this time actually mentioning Starlight was the pony that doomed Equestria, albeit the version of herself from that timeline.
“My… goodness,” Rarity says, a hand hovering over her mouth as she looks to Sunset. “Her… her whole world is gone?”
I shake my head, sighing. “Not gone. Dead. She literally has no one now. I found her after she’d spent several months in that dead world. Trust me, you humble up fast when you think you’re going to be alone in a dead world for the rest of your life, hoping to find at least one other living being.”
“Man, I… I can’t even…” Dash looks to AJ, who looks back with as solemn and haunted and expression as the cyan girl.
I shake my head, looking between each other them. “I’m trusting the five of you to be there for her. To help her fit into this world for real now. Before, she only intended to stay long enough to get what she wanted. Now… this is the only home she will ever know again. Make sure it’s a good one?”
They nod firmly, myself catching Fluttershy doing so out of the corner of my eye.
Nodding, I turn and lean down to Sunset, snapping my fingers, a pink watch appearing around her wrist. “Use that to contact me if you are ever in trouble, Sunset. Okay?”
She glances to me and nods, tears still running down her cheeks.
With a sigh, I stand up and look around at the other five girls. “Be good to her. It will likely take a very long time before the rest of the school looks past her previous misdeeds. But, I will be speaking with your versions of Celestia and Luna. Good luck, all of you.”
They nod and I snap my fingers. Before I go, I have three sirens to settle a score with, an evil principal to set up for a massive fall and then I’ll pick up Starlight before we return to our Equestria.
I’m going to need a long rest after all this. Thank Celestia Skyla’s not going to be born for a few more months. I can only imagine the drama that’s going to come from her birth and the eventual reveal of Blessed Moon.
Blessed Moon is still going to be a Nightmare, isn’t she?
“Hey, ya’ll!” Everypony screams as I just pop into existence above them all. I smirk down at them, my forelegs folded. “What? You think I’d miss when the Crystaling?”
We’re on the train to the Crystal Empire. Having decided to hang around the Empire today, I know that Cadance’s baby is born. I decided I’d wait to see it with the rest of the Mane 6, Starlight and Spike.
“Do you have to do that?” Starlight asks, slightly exasperated.
The rest of the ponies and dragon just look to her and shake her head.
“Trust me, Starlight, ya get used ta Screwball just popping up wherever she likes after a while,” Applejack looks up to me, her eyes narrowed. “And Ah can’t help thinkin’ ya’ll know sumthin’ ‘bout this we don’t.”
I give a mocking “Pfft”. “Come on, how could I know anything about the baby? I’m just as clueless as you all.”
“Ya, I’m with AJ on this one,” Dash gives me a sceptical look. “You only tend to pop up like that when you know something nopony else does.”
I shrug. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Dashie.”
In truth, this is literally the last thing I know about the future of this world. The baby is going to be Princess Skyla. It’s the only thing left I have foreknowledge of and I can’t wait for their reactions to the first baby Alicorn ever seen since Luna and Celestia.
After a few minutes, we arrive at the Empire, during which I learn Starlight is tackling her first real Frienship Lesson. Reuniting with Sunburst.
…
Hoh, boy, that’s gonna be awkward.
As we get off the train, Twilight, too distracted discussing the plan to visit the castle and see Skyla before going with Starlight to meet with Sunburst, walking Shining Armour, who… Yikes! Fatherhood hit you hard, man.
His mane’s ass ragged and those bags under his eyes indicate he definitely hasn’t been getting much sleep.
“Shining Armour!” Twilight gasps happily.
“Twi… light...!” the stallion replies in a way that’s kinda cute, really.
They hug and Twilight pulls back. “I didn’t know you were meeting us!”
Shining just smiles really goofily. “Of course I am! It’s me, right here. Here I am. Why wouldn’t I come meet my sister? Though we have met before.” He finishes with a chuckle, like one would have when stoned and seeing something weird.
Okay, bad as I feel for him from his clear lack of sleep, this is really funny. Something Dash and AJ seem to agree with me on, if their snickers are anything to go by.
Twilight Sparkle gives him a concerned look. “Are you all right?”
Shining waves off her worries. “Never better! Being a father is amazing! And wonderful, and amazing, and confusing,” he scratches his head, with a very perplexed expression that I’m sure is because his baby is an Alicorn, “and amazing, but surprising too, you know? I mean, not that you’d know. You wouldn’t know, I know... You know?” he ends with a slightly forced smile.
We all glance around at each other.
Shining sighs, getting serious. “Sorry. I haven’t really slept since Cadance had the baby.” Shining scratches his chin. “Come to think of it, she hasn’t either. It sure would be great to get a break.
Twilight, understandably, turns to Starlight and apologizes to her about how, since we’re going to the castle and Shining, and it sounds like Cadance too, could really use a break, Starlight's friendship lesson will have to wait.
Spike, however, suggests that, since Twilight’s already handled the list for Starlight to follow, he and she can go handle the lesson while the rest of us go see Skyla.
Twilight smiles at his suggestion. “Spike, you’re a genius!”
Starlight facehooves, before giving Spike a glare that I’d be worried for his life if Starlight didn’t know what I’d do to her if she tried it. “Yeah... genius.”
Twilight turns back to Shining as Starlight and Spike head off. “Alright, big brother, let’s go see this amazing baby pony!”
I can help snickering a little, as Shining has fallen asleep while standing, murmuring, “the baby...” in his sleep.
After a few minutes, we get to the castle and Shining takes as to the room where I can sense four Alicorns inside. Yep. There’s Skyla.
“Before we go in,” he says as we stand in front of the door, “I should probably tell you. Seeing the baby might be a bit of a shock.
Twilight snickers as we all walk in, myself nodding to Celestia and Luna in greetings. “Come on, big brother. I’ve met babies before. I expect meeting this one won’t be any different.”
Oh, I’m pretty sure she…
I blink, staring at the foal swaddled in blanks in the bed before us. That… that’s not Skyla. The colours are all different.
What the heck? I end up gasping with the others as the foal reveals her massive wings, but my shock is for a totally different reason.
Backing away from the others, I swipe my hoof in the air and do a quick search. What? Skyla doesn’t actually exist aside from in worlds created by fanfictions, comics and animations about her? The hell? Who’s this Alicorn foal then?
“The baby is an Alicorn?!” Twilight’s cry pulls me from my thoughts and I look back to see the foal sucking on her hooves… how the freaking hell did she fit both in her mouth at once.
Okay, Equestria’s screwing with me. Any confidence I had in this is pretty much gone. This baby changes everything I thought I could guess about the future of this world.
“But... But... But I thought Alicorn wings had to be earned by accomplishing some great, princess-worthy deed!” Rarity states, Twilight nodding along with her.
Applejack scratches her head. “Yeah. How can you just be born with ‘em?”
Celestia closes her eyes. The birth of an Alicorn is something Equestria has never seen!”
…
Wait, what?
Luna glances to her sister. “It is beyond even our understanding.”
…
No, seriously, WHAT?! Are they saying they aren’t natural born Alicorns themselves, or that this foal is just the first Alicorn born strictly in the land of Equestria?
“That’s not very reassuring,” Fluttershy murmurs and I find myself agreeing.
“Wow! A unicorn, and a Pegasus!” Pinkie cries, getting close and it seems the baby really likes her from the reaction she gives. “So she could be a super-strong flyer and have crazy baby magic!”
“She’s also an Earth Pony, Pinkie,” I frown, folding my forelegs as I float over to them. “Don’t forget that. I mean, you’re an Earth Pony too, after all. Don’t sell our tribe short.”
Dash smirks. “Well, I know all about super-strong flying!”
Twilight smiles. “And I can help keep tabs on her magic!”
Seriously? Nopony but me, the being who originally wasn’t even a pony, is going to bring up the Earth Ponies?
The baby suddenly starts sniffling, before letting out a sneeze— and firing a massive laser blast from her horn that literally bursts holes in the ceiling and floors for the next six floors.
My jaw drops open. Um… WHAT?!
The baby burbles, before closing its eyes and acting like it’s going to take a little nap.
Celestia rests a hoof on the little one’s head. “It appears her magic is more powerful than that of a newborn unicorn!”
I just deadpan, before indicating to the foal. “No shit, Sherlock! She’s an Alicorn!”
Celestia gives me a small frown, but I just stare back. Hey, my argument there is reasonable.
“Do you think we should call it off?” Cadance ask, the foal now acting fully awake again, suckling on the end of Cadance’s golden shoe.
Dash snickers. “Um, we’ve all faced a lot worse than baby magic.”
I just stare at Dash, an eyebrow raised, wearing an expression that says, “Really, bitch?”. Pumpkin Cake is tricky enough with her magic and she’s just a normal unicorn.
This baby is an Alicorn who fires clearly deadly laser from just sneezing. I think this still ranks up as something that’ll cause problems.
Celestia looks to us all. “In light of the little one’s abilities, this Crystalling might be more important than ever.” She looks strictly to Cadance. “Perhaps you should address your subjects and remind them of that.”
Cadance nods, kisses her baby and heads out.
Twilight nudges her brother, who’s fallen asleep leaning against the bed. “Shining Armor! Do you have everything you need for the ceremony?”
Shining snorts awake. “Huh?” Suddenly, his eyes widen in panic and he runs into the centre of the room and starts pacing. “Oh, no! I still have to interview the honor guards, choose the purity crystal, and pick a crystaller!” he finishes by flopping onto his flank in the centre of the room, looking like he’s close to losing it.
Yikes. It’s like this is Shining Armour’s Lesson Zero.
Twilight walks over and pats his shoulder, smiling comfortingly. “Alright, take it easy. Pinkie can stay here with me and keep an eye on the baby.”
Pinkie turns, revealing the baby is hugging her face… and her eyes. Man, I will never understand that pony.
“And we’ll all help you with everythin’ else,” Applejack reassures, before we all blink.
Shining is asleep again, murmuring. “...baby...”
“That is, if you can stay awake long enough to tell us how,” Rarity says uncertainly and I find myself agreeing.
“Well... at least she’s having... fun!” Pinkie says, saying each part every time she passes one of us, being dragged around the room as the baby flies without a care. “Whee!”
Twilight and I are barely keeping up together. The baby is just having fun, but that fun is including firing yellow lasers pretty much everywhere.
“Pinkie, hold her still!” Twilight shouts after we handled a particular barrage of lasers that almost hit a maid, who wisely gets the heck out of here.
“I’m tryiiiiiiing!” Pinkie shouts, her hooves dragging on the floor as she desperately tries to keep the baby from moving.
Good lord, is Blessed Moon going to be this much trouble, too? Screw the name change, raising her is still going to make her a nightmare for Luna. Yeesh! Awkward or not, Starlight must be having it way easier than this.
About ten or so minutes later, the four of us come out, walking/floating towards where everypony else is gathered around the Crystal Heart, myself floating next to Pinkie and the baby, whom are both in a magenta bubble Twilight’s using to make sure the baby doesn’t fly off.
“She’s a really strong flyer!” Pinkie calls out as we get close.
As we reach the heart, Twilight and Cadance seperte Pinkie from the baby, the latter now being in a bubble with Cadance’s aura colour.
At once, the baby starts reaching out to Pinkie and I see and feel her unhappiness.
She starts sniffling, warning she’s about to cry, but I stumble as my mind suddenly start ringing with massive alarm bells.
What the…? Why…?
The baby lets loose a massive wail, blending it with the Royal Canterlot Voice, literally breaking the bubble holding her. The force is so powerful, and I’m so distracted by the alarm bells still going off in my head at the same time, I actually lose focus and drop the ground with a thump.
The alarm bells are still going off as I sense something worng with… holy crap, I can feel a disruption in the Crystal Heart itself.
I turn in time to see not only has it stopped spinning, but cracks quickly spread across it, before the heart literally shatters, falling to the floor in pieces, leaving me to just stare, slack jawed.
I… but… WHAT?!
The baby burbles anxiously, floating down into Cadance’s hold.
Applejack walks up to the shattered heart. “Ah’m guessin’ that’s gonna make it harder to do the Crystalling.”
“It’s worse than that,” we all look to Twilight, who’s looking through the curtains hiding us all from everypony outside, waiting fo the ceremony. “Without the Heart, the Crystal Empire’s about to be buried under a mountain of ice and snow!”
Shaking off the ringing in my ears from what was clearly a warming about the heart shattering, I float up and pop over to her, looking out too to see dark clouds quickly making their way towards the Empire.
“So... not only can we not take part in a fabulous ancient ceremony, but we’re also about to be frozen solid?!” Rarity looks around at everypony.
Twilight shakes her head. “Without the Crystal Heart’s magical protection, the entire city’s about to become a winter wasteland!”
Wait… what about —?
“But what about when King Sombra ruled the Crystal Empire and the Crystal Heart was missin’?” Applejack cuts off my train of thought with the very question I was thinking of, leaving several thought passengers very annoyed at the hold up. “The city wasn’t covered in snow then!”
Twilight shakes her head. “The Heart wasn’t missing. It was still in the castle. King Sombra had just hidden it.”
That… makes a lot of sense. Phew. If she hadn’t given that explanation, I’d have had a field day with that massive plot hole.
Celestia sighs. “I’m afraid Twilight is correct, and the storm clouds are already forming.” She indicates to the curtains, which she’s holding slightly open with her magic, so we can clearly see the storm clouds coming, just as lightning cracks.
“I can totally fly up there and bust those puppies! No problem!” Dash reassures, flying towards the curtain, only for it to close in her face as Celestia releases her magic.
The white Aliocrn shakes her head. “I wouldn’t advise it, Rainbow Dash. Those storm clouds are not like the ones you know.”
Luna nods. “This far north, the weather has a will of its own, and now it will only grow stronger, enveloping everything in its path.”
Cadance blanches. “Including the Crystal Empire!”
“And us along with it!” Twilight cries.
I facehoof. Thank you for explaining that, Princesses of Obviousness.
Dash looks to me. “Do we really need to be that worried? We’ve got Screwball, here. She can fix the heart with a wave of a hoof.”
I sigh, shaking my head. “What do you think I’ve been trying to do since Twilight first mentioned the clouds? The heart’s energies are really tricky. Chaos Magic can’t fix it.”
Everypony’s eyes widen in fear.
“But, what do we do?” Twilight looks around at everypony. “With the storm clouds’ speed, they’ll be here in no time. How’re we going to figure out how to repair the heart before the get here?”
I just cock an eyebrow. “Wow. Thanks for the vote of confidence there, Sparklebutt.”
They all look to me. I roll my eyes and blink. At once, an orange aura spreads out from me, moving past everypony and expanding outwards, before it fully encompasses the Empire.
I look around at them all. “There. Not that I really need to put a shield up myself, since both Cadance and Shining can that, as can all the adult Alicorns present here. Now we have a lot more time. No need to really rush.” I frown, looking over my shoulder. “Though I can’t keep this shield up for too long. Celestia and Luna are right. That storm has a mind of its own and is none too pleased about the shield I just raised. No real rush, but it’d be nice to be done before the day’s out, okay?”
Everypony looks to each other, before nodding.
Twilight looks to the Royal Sisters. “There must be a spell that can restore the Crystal Heart!”
Celestia looks thoughtful. “Perhaps.”
Luna shakes her head. “But it isn’t something that either of us know.”
“The library here at the castle is nearly as extensive as the one in Canterlot,” Cadance suggests. “There’s a good chance we can find something there!”
Twilight looks around at us. “I’m gonna need all of your help. The crystal library is enormous!”
Shining nods. “You can count on us, Twily!”
Suddenly the baby giggles and disappears in a burst of yellow light, only to reappear, holding onto Pinkie’s face.
The startled mare cries out and ends up THROWING the baby away. Shining dives to catch her, but she teleports again, this time not appearing anywhere in sight.
“Where’d she go?!” he cries in alarm.
Suddenly the baby’s giggling is heard echoing around us and I can’t help feeling like we’ve entered a horror movie.
“This way!” Cadance calls, indicating the door leading into the castle and we all hurry after her.
“So… you’re all trying to find a way to fix the Crystal Heart?” Twilight Velvet asks, the baby snuggling against her chest.
I nod, glancing over my shoulder at the rest of the ponies, half of whom are searching each book they can find with any hint of being related to relic magic, while the other half are trying to catch their breath after having been chasing the baby throughout the library. Even I can’t stop her. If I hold her in place, she just teleports out of my magical grip. “Pretty much.”
Dunno why I was surprised to learn that Twilight’s parents were coming for what is essentially the Crystal Empire’s version of a christening, when it’s about their own family.
Their train arrived about an hour ago, during which they had some time touring the Empire before coming to the castle, where a guard showed them to where we all are.
“Frankly, thinking it over, we should’ve just waited for the baby to want to stop playing with Pinkie before giving her to Cadance,” I facehoof, floating over them as they head in to speak with their kids and daughter-in-law. “This all started because the baby was upset we took her from Pinkie, whom she was having a lot of fun with.”
The baby gurbles, before teleporting out of Velvet’s hold, reappearing above one of the bookshelves and the chase starts all over again.
I deadpan. “Also, like Pumpkin Cake, she just uses her magic without really thinking about it to have fun.”
“Can’t Princess Celestia or Princess Luna handle her? They’re Alicorns too and have live a lot longer,” Night Light asks.
I just keep my deadpan and point to where both said princesses are trying to untangle themselves from somehow ending up in a mess after both trying to catch the baby.
I hope Blessed will be a lot calmer a baby then this one.
“What’s going on in here?” I glance behind me to see Spike and Starlight have come back.
I both want to laugh and groan is Pinkie Pie is dragged past us, the baby just holding onto Pinkie’s back right leg. “You want the long or the short version?”
Starlight Glimmer gets an uncertain look. “Short?”
“The baby’s an Alicorn and she accidentally destroyed the Crystal Heart, so Twilight and Cadance are looking for a spell to put it back together and save the Crystal Empire from turning into a giant wasteland of ice and snow,” Pinkie says in a quick and rather matter-of-fact, calm manner.
Starlight Glimmer blinks, her uncertainty turning into mild worry. “Oh.”
Pinkie stops being pulled by the baby as she and Shining collide, both getting stars spinning around their heads, while the baby just laughs and flies off. I’d laugh if we weren’t dealing with the heart’s destruction right now.
And this is just one baby. What happens when Blessed Moon is brought into the mix? I dread thinking about it.
A gasp from Cadance draws our attention. “What about this? Trotter’s Tome of Reliquary?”
Twilight takes the book and rifles through it, before grinning and turning the book over to show Cadance the page. “I think this is it!”
“Spell of Relic Reconstitution!” Cadance cheers. “I can’t believe we found it!”
Twilight takes the book back, closing it and holding it up. “It’s a good thing, too! Without this, I don’t know what we’d do!”
Oh, well thanks for calling on Murphy’s Law there, Twilight!
Suddenly the baby appears right next to Twilight, followed by Pinkie tackling the baby to the ground.
We’re given no time to be thankful Pinkie caught the little magical disaster, before the baby sneezes, sending a laser blast right at Rarity, who grabs a mirror in her magic, deflecting the blast, which heads for Shining, who quickly forms his magic into a shield the looks a lot like his Cutie Mark, which deflects the blast towards Starlight, who raises her own bubble shield, which deflects the blast again… and it goes through the book with the spell Twilight and Cadance just found, burning a hole right through the middle.
Pinkie gives and apologetic look. “Oops.”
Twilight just stares at the destroyed book, jaw agape. “That spell was the only thing we found in the whole library that was even close to what we needed!”
Starlight steps forward. “I’m so sorry, Twilight!”
Twilight shakes her head, opening the book and flitting through the broken pages. “It’s not your fault, Starlight. None of us were expecting any of this.”
Cadance looks worriedly to the other Alicorn. “Do you think you can remember the spell?”
Twilight stares incredulously at her sister-in-law. “I only read it through once!”
I sigh. “Besides which, she wouldn’t need to rewrite it. The book poofs with smoke and is suddenly whole again, as if the baby never touched it.
“Oh,” Cadance smiles sheepishly. “Right.”
“I only hope this spell is the one we need,” Twilight opens the book to the page, looking the spell over.
“Is there anything I can do?” Starlight offers as we all leave the library and head off to where the heart’s remains still lay on the ground.
Well, unless she knows a spell or somepony else who knows a spell we can guarantee will repair the heart, I doubt it.
“Sunburst?” I glance at Cadance, apparently having zoned out part of the conversation. “I don’t recognize the name, but if he’s an important wizard, you should bring him here. Maybe he’ll know what to do if the spell fails.”
And… with those words, you’ve called on Murphy’s Law, too Cadance. Now the spell is defiantly going to fail.
Starlight’s eyes widen, cries out “Of course!” and before any of us can ask what she’s thinking, she hurries off.
Twilight looks to the baby dragon and nods after the unicorns. “You better go with her, Spike.”
He nods and does as instructed.
We reach the heart and Twilight, Cadance and the Royal Sisters all cast the spell. I watch as the heart comes back together, but I don’t sense it’s magic healing and the cracks are disappearing either.
It floats, glowing for a few seconds, before the pieces all fall back to the ground again.
“And we all left the library, instead of some of us continuing to search, why?” I ask, looking around at the five Alicorns, the baby resting on Cadance’s back.
“This is bad. This is really bad,” Twilight looks to me. “How’s your shield holding up?”
I blink, having actually totally forgotten about the shield I put up. I check and it seems to be fine, though the storm is getting very pissed off. The shield’s been hit by lightning at least half a dozen times in the last ten minutes alone.
“It’s fine, but the storm’s still really pissed at me for making the shield in the first place.”
Suddenly, there’s a flare of green fire and a scroll drops in front of Princess Celestia’s hooves.
We all blink, Celestia taking the note and opening it, reading it through. She blinks, before looking around in both surprise and a little pride. “Starlight thinks she has a plan. Or, more specifically, somepony she knows has a plan.”
“Wait. You mean that Sunburst guy Starlight came here to meet again?” Rainbow asks, looking around.
“It would seem so,” Celestia look to the note again, smiling. “I had no idea another of my students was here in the Empire.”
“So, we just wait until they get here and hope whatever plan Sunburst has is gonna work?” Applejack looks to Twilight.
“I guess so,” she replies, uncertainly.
So, we sit and wait, Velvet keeping the baby from doing anything else that could risk our lives.
When Starlight and Spike return, Sunburst is with them.
I cock an eyebrow. He kinda looks like a blend of Star Swirl the Bearded and Harry Potter due to those big round glasses, with a goatee, wearing some kind of green cloak with a few star patterns here and there.
Frowning, I quickly look over his timeline and… nope. No relation to the former. Aww. That would’ve been fun. Then again, Star Swirl didn’t understand friendship, as evidenced by his failed spell Twi fixed and used to become an Alicorn, so I doubt he’d have understood love, either.
The unicorn stallion walks over to the remains of the heart, looking over the shards on the ground, before looking around at us in shock. “The baby did this?!”
Twilight shows him the book. “I tried putting it back together with—”
“The spell of Relic Reconstitution. No, that won’t do it. ” he cuts her off, shaking his head, levitating another book from his saddlebag and flipping through it. “The Crystal Heart’s been around for millennia. Restoring a relic like this is way beyond one spell. You need to combine it with something else.” He stops the book at a page and shows it to her. “Something unique to the relic itself. Something that strengthens it and provides it with power...?”
Wait. Seriously? Is he saying all we needed to do to fix the heart this whole time, was just go through the Crystalling?
I suddenly really feel the need to punch something. Where’s Cheese Legs when you need her?
“The Crystalling!” Twilight gaps, her eyes wide.
Sunburst nods. “Combining that spell with the light and love of everypony gathered for the ceremony, together with...” he pulls several scrolls and another book out of his bag, “Somnambula’s Weather Abjuration to clear away the snow...” he gives second book to Starlight, “and a little Fledgling’s Forbearance for the parents...” he gives a scroll to Cadance and Shining. “That should curb the little one’s power fluctuations.”
He rubs the baby’s head and the baby coos and giggles.
Cadance smiles. “You must be Sunburst. Starlight said you were a powerful wizard.”
Sunburst shakes his head. “Oh, I’m no wizard.”
Wait, what?
“But he studied magic his whole life!” Starlight looks around at us, giving an nervous smile. “You should see his house! And since nopony has any better ideas, what do we have to lose?!”
Well, it’s a plan at least, which is better than our no plan, so she’s got a point, there.
Shining looks to Sunburst. “I had planned on asking Twilight to be our crystaller, but since it seems like she’ll be busy...
The baby is levitated over to him and he takes her, the baby giggling and beginning to play with his glasses. “I’d be honoured!”
“Well, what are we waiting for?!” Twilight calls out and we all do our thing, myself staying with Starlight, Twilight, Celestia and Luna to make sure something doesn’t go wrong. With our current run of luck today, you can’t be too careful.
They all gather around the heart’s shards. Twilight uses Relic Reconstitution again, with Starlight and the princesses aiding with their own magic to keep the heart together.
“Citizens!” Sunburst’s voices sounds from outside, “May I present the newest member of the Crystal Empire!”
I can’t help smiling as I feel the love in the air thickening. It makes me feel all tingly.
A few moments later, Sunburst hurries in with a glowing crystal shard and places it into the heart, the shard literally sinking into the still currently cracked heart.
At once, the heart glows, before I feel it’s magic fully restore and the heart starts spinning again, before it releases a wave of energy outward, crystalizing every living being in range. Oddly enough, Celestia and Luna’s manes don’t get done up in a fancy style, the two ponies just get the crystal glow effect.
Then again, their hair is magically already and always moving, so I guess the heart’s magic can’t really do much with that.
At once, I feel a slight nudge from the Crystal Heart’s magic and drop my shield, it no longer being needed. I wink at it. You’re welcome, heart. Happy to help out.
I sigh. Okay. I really am going to need a long rest after this. Hopefully, nothing crazy will happen for at least the next couple weeks. Right?
Um… I’m sure Altering the Past won’t go TOO badly… Right?
The huge ram grinned, walking on his jet black hooves, enjoying the wondrous sounds of the simultaneous screams and laughter of the filly and colts as they toiled away. His ever present and eternal slaves.
“Yeah, that’s not happening anytime soon, buster.”
He halted in place, looking around, before a snowball slammed into his face.
Shaking his head, he glared down, with his burning red eyes falling on a pink filly wearing a propeller beanie, who spiralling eyes and still having a Cutie Mark.
He paused in slight confusion. Who was this filly? She was not one of his slaves. How did she even get here?
He grinned. What did it matter? One more slave for the collection.
A whooshing sound was followed by his sack appearing before him. It opened wide, chains covered with jiggling bells lashing out towards the filly.
However, the chains never made contact. The moment they reached the filly, they rusted in place, before shattering.
The ram’s eyes widened.
The filly glanced around, before she seemed to fix her gaze on a small yellow slave with a pink mane and tail.
The pink filly looked back to him, her eyes narrowed. “Yep. You’re so screwed, buster. DISCORD!”
There was a flash of light and he took several steps back as the Lord of Chaos himself appeared next to the filly.
She pointed to the yellow slave, before the room seemed to grow immensely hot as Discord turned to face him, his yellow eyes burning with rage unlike anything the ram had ever seen… and it terrified him that it was directed at him.
“I know you can handle things for your Equestria on this end, DD. Though, returning Apple Valley to what it used to be won't be as easy, even for you,” the filly said in a nonchalant manner, before looking to the ram with a blank stare. “You really shouldn’t have been so greedy. Taking Fluttershy, when she was in no way against the Spirit of Hearth’s Warming, was you’re last mistake.” She then gave an unsettling smile. “Have fun with my Daddy, now.”
With that, she disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving him to the complete mercy, or lack thereof, of Discord, Lord of Chaos and very pissed.
“I still can’t believe we’ve now two Alicorn babies. And this one was originally Nightmare Moon?” Dash asks as the train chugs along back to Ponyville.
It’s been about a week since we all met Flurry Heart for the first time. Just yesterday evening, Twilight and myself each received letters from Luna inviting us to the presentation of Blessed Moon.
We told the rest of the Mane 6, Spike and Starlight this morning and, along with Diamond, Silver and the CMC, we all went to Canterlot and witnessed to the reaction of Canterlot to a reformed baby Nightmare Moon. Daddy would’ve joined us, but he had a business meeting. Pretty rude of those ponies calling him in on such an important day. Luna haters, I bet.
That is what she is, after all. She has no memories of being Nightmare Moon, but I knew it would be hard for some ponies to not jump to conclusions. But, that’s what I’d been there for... and, oh boy, was I needed.
My guess about Moonie after having experienced dealing with a baby Alicorn was right. While not Nightmare Moon anymore, she was still a nightmare to deal with.
Despite being a baby and not having met Celestia til recently, the little tike has her aunt’s passion for pranks. Like Flurry, she just used her magic however she wished, but it was worse because she has that turning to magical smoke ability Nightmare Moon had.
Sweet Celestia, the screams of the ponies she snuck up on before reforming were hilarious.
What wasn’t funny was that Cadance brought Flurry Heart along with her.
…
Yeah, I actually had to call DD to help me handle the two Alicorns babies playing together.
I’m honestly a little scared about what I’ve unleashed onto Equestria.
“How did ya’ll keep sumthin’ like this a secret fer so long?” Applejack looks from Twilight to myself.
I shrug. “You girls have no idea how many secrets I’ve kept. I knew a lot of the things that were going to happen between Discord getting out of his prison that first time up to Rara’s performance. If I can keep those kinds o’ secrets, this was easy. Heck, I knew Cadance and Shining Armour’s foal was going to be an Alicorn… just not the kind of Alicorn she turned out to be.”
Seriously, how was I to know Skyla wasn’t actually going to be a thing? At least I still got the Alicorn part right, though.
Dash gives me a squinted look. “Yeah. I’m still questioning how you knew any of that.”
Diamond gives an exasperated groan next to me, rolling her eyes. “Seriously? She’s a being of freaking chaos! There need be no other explanation!”
Pinkie and I giggle and the blank looks the rest of the ponies and dragon get before their mouths open in big Os.
“Whelp, any plans for what’s left of the day?” I ask, looking around at the creatures assembled.
The adults start talking amongst themselves, while I look to my fellow fillies.
They all shrug, save Silver, who rubs her chin. “Could you tell me anything about Southern Equestria? I’m doing a report on one of the towns there, but I keep getting confused.”
“Sure,” I look inside her ear to get the name of the towns she talking about and wink. “Catch you in a bit.”
I thank the elderly stallion and move through the market place of this Egypt like town.
I arrived a couple minutes ago in this place called Somnambula. It was apparently named after a Pegasus mare who lived a little over a thousand years ago. She saved the at the time king’s son from an evil Sphynx who’d taken the prince and locked him away in a pyramid.
You can actually see the pyramid from here.
I frown, rubbing my chin. Eh, why not?
I jump up, teleporting myself through time to the point where this Somnambula saves the prince.
As the world becomes clear around me, I see a reddish-pink Pegasus mare wearing Egyptian styled clothing standing before a large maroon Sphinx. It’s about twice as big as a manticore.
Wait. Somnamula’s wearing a necklace of glowpaz? Didn’t she get those after saving the prince?
“I shine brightest in the dark. I am there but cannot be seen. To have me costs you nothing. To be without me costs you everything,” the Sphinx is saying, giving the riddle Somnambula needs to solve in order to save the prince.
The Pegasus frowns, thinking for a moment, before looking up with a smile and says “Hope.”
The Sphinx snarls, before roaring with rage, raising a paw, claws coming out from the tips, causing me gut to drop.
Wait, that wasn’t in the story the stallion told me. The rage, yeah, but the raising of a claw with clear implications to attack?
The Sphinx swipes at the mare.
“No!” I cry, my magic flashing out from my body in a gut reaction, obscuring my view of what happens.
As my vision starts to return, Somnambula’s voice rings out, “Don’t lose hope, Prince. It is I, Somnambula, and I came to your rescue.”
Wait, did I jump back in time a few moments?
Whoa, I think as my body is tingling all over. Why does it feel like I suddenly somehow managed to alter a fixed point in time throughout the entire multiverse?
“Good!” a gruff voice that oddly makes me think of that stuck up prince from Aladdin replies and my vision clears enough to see a purple pony walking past the Pegasus. “Now it’s your turn.”
Um… come again?
“My turn?” Somnambula says what I’m thinking. “Huh? What about the Sphinx?”
“She’s grounded for drinking the queen’s milk bath,” the prince replies, not even looking back. “Somepony has to watch over her and I’m just glad it isn’t me anymore. Good luck.”
…
Okay, no, now I’m seriously lost.
I turn with Somnablua and come face to face… with a baby Sphinx? She’s half her previous size now, but… what?
The not so little little one notices the Pegasus and smiles, holding out her forelegs. “I’m Fwinxie! Moar widdles?”
Nhggg!
I have to focus my magic to save myself from dying from the sudden adorabetes-induced heart attack I was just struck with.
“Oh… hi, little one,” the Pegasus mare says uncertainly, clearly still uncertain about what’s going on, though you’re not the only one, sister. “It is I, Somnambula, and…”
I notice a puzzled expression pass over Fwinxie and turn my attention to her, not hearing the rest of Somnambula’s words.
“Som-nam… Som-nam…” she says, it becoming apparent her young mind is struggling with such a big and complicated name. Her eyes suddenly light up in absolute joy. “Som-MAMA! MAMA!”
Somnamblua’s expression turns to a mixture of horror and utter defeat. You can tell just by looking at her that her thoughts are, Oh no.
Fwinxie grabs the pony and pulls her into a tight hug, her face full of pure child happiness. “I lub you, Som-Mama!”
Must… not… lose… hope! The crushed mare’s thoughts call out.
“I lub you, Som-Mama!” Fwinxie sings.
I just stare down blankly at the scene before me, before realization dawns on me and an uneasy smile forms on my face.
Um… seems I altered time so, instead of possibly being killed by the Sphinx… Somnambula unwittingly became her mother?
O…kay. Popping back to the present, I ask the stallion I’d spoken with before about what he remembers of Somnambula and the Sphinx and he says the same story as before, not one where she becomes its mother.
…
So, I altered history, but the story was passed down for so long, the details of what really happened were lost.
I blink. Wait. Is it possible that’s what was meant to happen, that I go back in time and… Oh, for the love of Luna, it’s another Bootstrap Paradox, isn’t it?
Groaning, I teleport to the train station, deciding to ride it home instead of teleporting back.
Now what am I supposed to tell Silver Spoon? Maybe she can do research on another Southern Equestrian pony? Perhaps the prince? Though, I can’t deny that seeing Fwinxie hugging Somnambula and seeming so happy was heartwarming.
The tubby anthropomorphic cat stops screaming as we finish warping into my Equestria, miles above the ground.
He looks around, confused, before glaring at me as I float before him, both forelegs crossed. “How dare you just yank me like that when I was going to make that Teen Titan brat pay for what she did to me?! Do you know who I am?!”
“A Displaced who turned into the tubby brother of Beerus the Destroyer God of Universe 6 in Super,” I say, uncaring.
He winces, his eyes narrowing. “I am not tubby!”
I scoff. “Puh-lease. If Champa is a total lard ass who does nothing but stuffs his face with whatever food he can get his tubby grubby hands on and you’ve become him, you are tubby, lard ass.”
“He went toe to toe with Beerus!” the cat snarls, pointing at me.
I scoff again. “Yeah, sure. I went there and checked it out. Beerus was holding back, you moron. Frankly, Champa’s let himself go so much I guarantee you Goku could beat him and take over as Universe 6’s Destroyer God if he wanted to.”
“That’s it,” Champa, I guess I’ll call him, snarls, holding and outstretched hand, a sphere of red energy appearing before it. “You die, whoever you are!”
The sphere fires, heading right towards me.
I roll my eyes and open my mouth.
Champa’s mouth hangs open in both shock and likely horror as the orb enters my open maw, I chew for a few seconds, before swallowing and belching.
“Bu-bu-but HOW?!” he backs up in the air, his eyes wide with terror. “Tha-that was Destruction Energy. Even Golden Frieza couldn’t stand up to one that powerful.”
I smirk. “Frieza wasn’t me.” I shift into my anthro form, before my expression firms. I clench my fists at my sides. “Hah!’ I start yelling, energy beginning to billow around me.
Champa’s eyes widen. “No… it can’t be.”
“HAH!” my yell goes to deafening levels as a purple light flashes around me, my hair going up like Goku’s when he goes Super Saiyan and turning purple.
“Wha… that’s not from the show,” Champa stutters, looking like he wants to make a break for it.
“You’re right,” I say, giving him a grim look. “This is my own spin on Super Saiyan Blue. Say hello to Super Saiyan Choas.”
Champa trembles for a few moments, before his expression hardens. “Alright. Bring it, ya pastel pony! I’ll show you what a Destroyer God can really do!”
We both charge at each other, our fists colliding, causing a massive explosion of light.
“And that’s pretty much how I spent my morning,” I say as I walk next to Twilight and Rarity as we covertly follow Spike, the latter of whom is glowing.
We’re walking into the Dragon Lands. Spike’s being called by the Dragon Lord and Twilight and Rarity want to make sure he doesn’t get hurt and so they can learn about dragon customs.
The former reason I can easily understand on both sides. Spike’s Twilight’s son, of course a mother would want to make sure her child stays safe.
And Rarity is a good friend. She doesn’t care for Spike beyond a good friend, but that’s reason enough for her to want to make sure he stays safe too.
Though why the Dragon Lord is calling Spike of all dragons, I’m honestly puzzled. Then again, I’m puzzled why he’d be calling me too. I mean, I only turned into a dragon a short while ago. Is he calling more than just Spike and myself and this is something all dragons are being called for?
“And this… Champa won’t be bothering either of our worlds again, I take it?” Rarity asks, still looking like she doesn’t fully understand… which makes sense. I didn’t exactly explain what Dragonball is, so explaining Super is pretty much going to go right over her head.
I shake my head, looking down at her. I’ve taken on the appearance of a dragon version of myself. I’m taller than Spike and more lanky, but with muscle and a feminine look the other purple drake lacks. I also ended up with wings. Not sure why Spike hasn’t gotten his yet. I really need to look into dragon biology at some point. Of course, being a dragon means I’m glowing now too, but whatever.
“He won’t. After pummelling him to pieces, though not literally of course, I shoved him back into his Equestria. They’re his problem, not ours, not that they’ll have much of a problem with him anyway. And I sealed off his universe, so he can’t travel to others.”
“And that one you took him from?” Twilight cocks an eyebrow.
I shrug. “They’ll be fine. They’ve got the Teen Titans watching over it and I helped their Discord reseal their universe. No other parallel Equestrias will be interfering with them aside from the one on the other side of the mirror.”
We arrive a few minutes later, Rarity and Twilight hiding within a fake rock.
“Why’re you being a dragon, though?” Spike asks look down at me from atop the fake rock as I lean against it.
I just grin. “Cuz I wanna. Need I any other reason?”
He shrugs. “Fair point.”
“Hey-hey, look!” says a voice I recognize and immediately deadpan. “It’s our old friend Sparkle-warkle.”
Spike joins my deadpanning. “It’s Spike.”
Garble gives mocking fluttery eyes. “Are you sure your pony friends didn’t give you a pony name?”
“Are you sure you didn’t leave whatever counts are you brain back under whatever rock you crawled out from under?” I shoot back. Man, I hate this guy.
Garble blinks, seeming surprised to find another dragon near Spike, before he narrows his eyes. “Why’re you hanging around this pathetic excuse for a dragon?”
I raise an eyebrow. “Oh, you mean a dragon who is royalty by being the adopted son of one of Equestria’s pony princesses, whom was also the pony whose magic hatched him? The same dragon who has magical fire breath?” I smirk. “What’s so special about you, Babble? What magic do you have?”
He glares. “It’s Garble.”
I shrug. “Guess you’re parents got it right then. All you talk is garbled rubbish.”
