It's A Screwed Up Life

by Autum Breeze

Um… I’m sure Altering the Past won’t go TOO badly… Right?

Um… I’m sure Altering the Past won’t go too badly… Right?

___________________________________________________________

The huge ram grinned, walking on his jet black hooves, enjoying the wondrous sounds of the simultaneous screams and laughter of the filly and colts as they toiled away. His ever present and eternal slaves.

“Yeah, that’s not happening anytime soon, buster.”

He halted in place, looking around, before a snowball slammed into his face.

Shaking his head, he glared down, with his burning red eyes falling on a pink filly wearing a propeller beanie, who spiralling eyes and still having a Cutie Mark.

He paused in slight confusion. Who was this filly? She was not one of his slaves. How did she even get here?

He grinned. What did it matter? One more slave for the collection.

A whooshing sound was followed by his sack appearing before him. It opened wide, chains covered with jiggling bells lashing out towards the filly.

However, the chains never made contact. The moment they reached the filly, they rusted in place, before shattering.

The ram’s eyes widened.

The filly glanced around, before she seemed to fix her gaze on a small yellow slave with a pink mane and tail.

The pink filly looked back to him, her eyes narrowed. “Yep. You’re so screwed, buster. DISCORD!”

There was a flash of light and he took several steps back as the Lord of Chaos himself appeared next to the filly.

She pointed to the yellow slave, before the room seemed to grow immensely hot as Discord turned to face him, his yellow eyes burning with rage unlike anything the ram had ever seen… and it terrified him that it was directed at him.

“I know you can handle things for your Equestria on this end, DD. Though, returning Apple Valley to what it used to be won't be as easy, even for you,” the filly said in a nonchalant manner, before looking to the ram with a blank stare. “You really shouldn’t have been so greedy. Taking Fluttershy, when she was in no way against the Spirit of Hearth’s Warming, was you’re last mistake.” She then gave an unsettling smile. “Have fun with my Daddy, now.”

With that, she disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving him to the complete mercy, or lack thereof, of Discord, Lord of Chaos and very pissed.

___________________________________________________________

“I still can’t believe we’ve now two Alicorn babies. And this one was originally Nightmare Moon?” Dash asks as the train chugs along back to Ponyville.

It’s been about a week since we all met Flurry Heart for the first time. Just yesterday evening, Twilight and myself each received letters from Luna inviting us to the presentation of Blessed Moon.

We told the rest of the Mane 6, Spike and Starlight this morning and, along with Diamond, Silver and the CMC, we all went to Canterlot and witnessed to the reaction of Canterlot to a reformed baby Nightmare Moon. Daddy would’ve joined us, but he had a business meeting. Pretty rude of those ponies calling him in on such an important day. Luna haters, I bet.

That is what she is, after all. She has no memories of being Nightmare Moon, but I knew it would be hard for some ponies to not jump to conclusions. But, that’s what I’d been there for... and, oh boy, was I needed.

My guess about Moonie after having experienced dealing with a baby Alicorn was right. While not Nightmare Moon anymore, she was still a nightmare to deal with.

Despite being a baby and not having met Celestia til recently, the little tike has her aunt’s passion for pranks. Like Flurry, she just used her magic however she wished, but it was worse because she has that turning to magical smoke ability Nightmare Moon had.

Sweet Celestia, the screams of the ponies she snuck up on before reforming were hilarious.

What wasn’t funny was that Cadance brought Flurry Heart along with her.

…

Yeah, I actually had to call DD to help me handle the two Alicorns babies playing together.

I’m honestly a little scared about what I’ve unleashed onto Equestria.

“How did ya’ll keep sumthin’ like this a secret fer so long?” Applejack looks from Twilight to myself.

I shrug. “You girls have no idea how many secrets I’ve kept. I knew a lot of the things that were going to happen between Discord getting out of his prison that first time up to Rara’s performance. If I can keep those kinds o’ secrets, this was easy. Heck, I knew Cadance and Shining Armour’s foal was going to be an Alicorn… just not the kind of Alicorn she turned out to be.”

Seriously, how was I to know Skyla wasn’t actually going to be a thing? At least I still got the Alicorn part right, though.

Dash gives me a squinted look. “Yeah. I’m still questioning how you knew any of that.”

Diamond gives an exasperated groan next to me, rolling her eyes. “Seriously? She’s a being of freaking chaos! There need be no other explanation!”

Pinkie and I giggle and the blank looks the rest of the ponies and dragon get before their mouths open in big Os.

“Whelp, any plans for what’s left of the day?” I ask, looking around at the creatures assembled.

The adults start talking amongst themselves, while I look to my fellow fillies.

They all shrug, save Silver, who rubs her chin. “Could you tell me anything about Southern Equestria? I’m doing a report on one of the towns there, but I keep getting confused.”

“Sure,” I look inside her ear to get the name of the towns she talking about and wink. “Catch you in a bit.”

___________________________________________________________

I thank the elderly stallion and move through the market place of this Egypt like town.

I arrived a couple minutes ago in this place called Somnambula. It was apparently named after a Pegasus mare who lived a little over a thousand years ago. She saved the at the time king’s son from an evil Sphynx who’d taken the prince and locked him away in a pyramid.

You can actually see the pyramid from here.

I frown, rubbing my chin. Eh, why not?

I jump up, teleporting myself through time to the point where this Somnambula saves the prince.

As the world becomes clear around me, I see a reddish-pink Pegasus mare wearing Egyptian styled clothing standing before a large maroon Sphinx. It’s about twice as big as a manticore.

Wait. Somnamula’s wearing a necklace of glowpaz? Didn’t she get those after saving the prince?

“I shine brightest in the dark. I am there but cannot be seen. To have me costs you nothing. To be without me costs you everything,” the Sphinx is saying, giving the riddle Somnambula needs to solve in order to save the prince.

The Pegasus frowns, thinking for a moment, before looking up with a smile and says “Hope.”

The Sphinx snarls, before roaring with rage, raising a paw, claws coming out from the tips, causing me gut to drop.

Wait, that wasn’t in the story the stallion told me. The rage, yeah, but the raising of a claw with clear implications to attack?

The Sphinx swipes at the mare.

“No!” I cry, my magic flashing out from my body in a gut reaction, obscuring my view of what happens.

As my vision starts to return, Somnambula’s voice rings out, “Don’t lose hope, Prince. It is I, Somnambula, and I came to your rescue.”

Wait, did I jump back in time a few moments?

Whoa, I think as my body is tingling all over. Why does it feel like I suddenly somehow managed to alter a fixed point in time throughout the entire multiverse?

“Good!” a gruff voice that oddly makes me think of that stuck up prince from Aladdin replies and my vision clears enough to see a purple pony walking past the Pegasus. “Now it’s your turn.”

Um… come again?

“My turn?” Somnambula says what I’m thinking. “Huh? What about the Sphinx?”

“She’s grounded for drinking the queen’s milk bath,” the prince replies, not even looking back. “Somepony has to watch over her and I’m just glad it isn’t me anymore. Good luck.”

…

Okay, no, now I’m seriously lost.

I turn with Somnablua and come face to face… with a baby Sphinx? She’s half her previous size now, but… what?

The not so little little one notices the Pegasus and smiles, holding out her forelegs. “I’m Fwinxie! Moar widdles?”

Nhggg!

I have to focus my magic to save myself from dying from the sudden adorabetes-induced heart attack I was just struck with.

“Oh… hi, little one,” the Pegasus mare says uncertainly, clearly still uncertain about what’s going on, though you’re not the only one, sister. “It is I, Somnambula, and…”

I notice a puzzled expression pass over Fwinxie and turn my attention to her, not hearing the rest of Somnambula’s words.

“Som-nam… Som-nam…” she says, it becoming apparent her young mind is struggling with such a big and complicated name. Her eyes suddenly light up in absolute joy. “Som-MAMA! MAMA!”

Somnamblua’s expression turns to a mixture of horror and utter defeat. You can tell just by looking at her that her thoughts are, Oh no.

Fwinxie grabs the pony and pulls her into a tight hug, her face full of pure child happiness. “I lub you, Som-Mama!”

Must… not… lose… hope! The crushed mare’s thoughts call out.

“I lub you, Som-Mama!” Fwinxie sings.

I just stare down blankly at the scene before me, before realization dawns on me and an uneasy smile forms on my face.

Um… seems I altered time so, instead of possibly being killed by the Sphinx… Somnambula unwittingly became her mother?

O…kay. Popping back to the present, I ask the stallion I’d spoken with before about what he remembers of Somnambula and the Sphinx and he says the same story as before, not one where she becomes its mother.

…

So, I altered history, but the story was passed down for so long, the details of what really happened were lost.

I blink. Wait. Is it possible that’s what was meant to happen, that I go back in time and… Oh, for the love of Luna, it’s another Bootstrap Paradox, isn’t it?

Groaning, I teleport to the train station, deciding to ride it home instead of teleporting back.

Now what am I supposed to tell Silver Spoon? Maybe she can do research on another Southern Equestrian pony? Perhaps the prince? Though, I can’t deny that seeing Fwinxie hugging Somnambula and seeming so happy was heartwarming.

Author's Note:

Okay, needed to try something silly to get somewhat back into the swing of things and wasn't sure what to do, while also REALLY wanting to just skip to season 7, especially with the most recent season 8 episodes, but needing to write in how Moonie is now part of the royal family and known to all.

Then, i recently stumbled upon a recent comic dub by Scribbler, wherein the events Screwball witnesses after unintentionally altering time happened and i realized i could do something cute and silly. had to wait til this week specifically to have to free time to do it, but i think i like what i go done.

True, you all probably would've liked to SEE the events of Moonie's reveal happen instead of being TOLD about them, but a reason i struggled with this chapter for so long is because it would feel too much like last chapter and i didn't just wanna do a repeat of that, so this is what happened instead.

Oh, and if you're wondering what the bloody hell was going in at the start of the chapter, you can read the fic that scene's inspired by HERE or go listen to Scribbler's reading of it HERE.

and you can find the comic dub that inspired Screwy's unintentional messing with time HERE.

Also, while I'm here, i would like to ask you all to tell this to others as well as keep it in mind yourself: STOP POSTING COMMENTS ON MY STORIES ABOUT THEM BEING DEAD!

I don't have a computer at home anymore and haven't since mid way through last year, so i have to do everything i normally would do on a computer down at my local library, which means i have to work within a time limit, both while on the computer as well as making sure i'm at the library before it opens, when it's about 20 minutes from my home and i have to walk the whole way!

That makes it very hard to always have the drive to write, not at all helped by how long it can take to do non-writing stuff beforehand.

So, could you kindly refrain from posting such comments on ANY of my fics from now on and tell others to do the same.

Every time i see comments like that on stories i've been WANTING to get back to, but just haven't found the time and drive to do it, i get less motivated to work on those fics and even get tempted just to cancel them to teach people who post those comments a lesson!

We don't all have the boundless free time to write whenever we want. there's more in my life than writing ponies.

I'm struggling to get back to writing a personal novel i've been having to rewrite many times before i finally found a path i think i can work with, but finding time for it is just as hard as finding time for pony fics, which, again, is NOT helped when people post comments like "Ding dong, the fic is dead" on ANY of my fics.

it's very disheartening and even feel cruel, as if they're saying i'm purposefully not doing anything with those fics.

So, please, refrain from such comments in the the future and please tell others to do the same.

Well, after all that venting, i hope you enjoyed this chapter and, til next time, later everypony

Comments

[Greenhorn]

“Som-nam… Som-nam…” she says, it becoming apparently her young mind is struggle with such a big and complicated name. Her eyes suddenly light up in absolute joy. “Som-MAMA! MAMA!”

Hold up! Are you saying Screwball was the cause of Shadowmane PX-41's story?

[Viper Pit]

that....that is just awesome

[Chrome Masquerade]

Taking Fluttershy, when she was in no way against the Spirit of Hearth’s Warming, was you’re last mistake.” She then gave an unsettling smile. “Have fun with my Daddy, now.”

your

[fluttershyfan3030]

8957634
i think so quick tell scribbler she has prophetic comics lol

[fluttershyfan3030]

i love story and i feel sorry for commenters saying trollish thing like that i hope you don't have to deal with that again i would be quiet sad if you cancelled stories like this because of trolls or impatient readers i love your stories so i hope people stop that because it also ruins the stories for us readers who wait patiently and truly enjoy your stories i look forward to your next chapter when you have the time

[Chrome Masquerade]

“Good!” a gruff voice that oddly makes me think of that stuck up prince from Aladdin replies and my vision clears enough to see a purple pony walking past the Pegasus. “Now it’s your turn.”

You mean Prince Achmed?

[Chrome Masquerade]

I groaning, I teleport to the train station, deciding to ride it home instead of teleporting back.

Groaning, I/I groan and

[Kenshinryuu]

Nice chapter, good feels all around.

[Mixx]

Wait what? I literally just saw that comic yesterday. Near the end... I love this story.

[Velvet-Fresh]

hey, welcome back. Now maybe Screwie can check up on Sven and Spoiled to make sure they didn't do anything too stupid? She should also expose Sven to the public or to Celestia

[Jest]

Do you have an editor, because you need one.

[nightmaster0]

Another awesome chapter. Now i'm curious what will happen when the pillars return to Equestria.

[Eris Dis Harmonia]

I'm just happy to see an update. Life happens, and I apologise for other individuals... less than stellar attitudes. And mine.

[ShadowLDrago]

She pointed to the yellow slave, before the room seemed to grow immensely hot as Discord turned to face him, his yellow eyes burning with rage unlike anything the ram had ever seen… and it terrified him that it was directed at him.

He's mad.

Somnamblua’s expression turns to a mixture of horror and utter defeat. You can tell just by looking at her that her thoughts are,Oh no.

Accurate.

[PinkiePieFox]

[DarkSpider]

First off, I'm really happy this got an update. Second, I really like how you did the altered thing. I just rewatched that dub yesterday due to how adorable it is and now I see this. Stuff like this is why I love this story so much. Please keep up the good work.
-Dark

[Zen-Aku]

please continue to write your fics

[Twilight_Shimmer]

Great update!

[Horrible_Writer]

The update was long awaited so good job I think it was their best chapter in the last 2 chapters lol jk but still hrs job hope to see another chapter soon

[Fistfire]

Nice update! Keep it up!!!

[unknowncape7377]

There needs to be more stories like this on fimfiction

[Knight N Gale]

The ram at the beginning....is that supposed to be Grogar?

[Greatazuredragon]

Yeah, I actually had to call DD to help me handle the two Alicorns babiesplayingtogether.
I’m honestly a little scared about what I’ve unleashed onto Equestria.

Yeah, I can see that happening.

We don't all have the boundless free time to write whenever we want.

I know the feeling. Personally I love this story, but I know that sometimes other things have to come before writing. so take your time and do what you have to, even if that means posting less than what we would like.Hang in there and good luck.

[jasha3558021]

me gusto el capitulo y no me importa si tengo que esperar para leer el siguiente capitulo

[Ares Olympian]

I arrived a couple minutes ago in this place called Somnambula. It was apparently named after a Pegasus mare who lived a little over a thousand years ago. She saved the at the time king’s son from an evil Sphynx who’d taken the prince and locked him away in a pyramid.

And that is a season 7 reference right there.

[flutterboot]

Cwute widdle bwaby Fwinxie!

8959299
Agree

[unknowncape7377]

9031921
Great minds think alike

[Thor447]

Excellent shennanogans, thank you sir

[kitkataddel]

Welp, it was fun binge reading all of this, hope there's more in the future. All I've got to say at the moment. Good story!

[ObamnaSoda]

KNACK 3 THA FUTURE!!!

[Kichi]

Well, re-read the story, and I have to ask... Did Screwball forgot about Cheese Legs in EQG world?

[Caiden]

Uhm sir could I please have some more?
What was that, a peasant asking for more!
B-But sir I would very much enjoy more.
Well you shall have none from me!
I said I would very much ENJOY MORE!
Fine you may have more in the future.Filthy peasant

[lilTurtle]

You've got 1337 likes.
Nice.

[TheLocalCannon]

It’s past your regular allocated time, fail me one more time and you will be forced to join the rest in the pile. Points to a pile of unfinished scripts and authors who randomly dropped off the internet

[JazzyWaffles]

Eh, this chapter felt lazy. Kinda sucks to end my reading here but it's not like I can keep reading.

[JazzyWaffles]

9155932
I misread apparition spells as abortion spells... yikes.

[Knight N Gale]

8796523
Update?

[TheUltimateBalanceChaos]

This story is awesome definitely faved I couldn't list all the things I enjoyed about it if I tried so instead i'll say this never before have I had so much fun and joy reading a fic like this before so again awesome story and i'll be eagerly awaiting for more if there's more to come

[Dusk Star Shine]

9316354

OH, a fellow Animorphs fan, I'm glad there are still a few of you around, and this story while it is taking time for new chapters is still a very good story and I love how the author is going through the show like this, I can't wait to see what happens next to everyone, though it would have been cool if Screwball took her Nyx form just for fun in front of the Mane 6 and the Princesses so she could see their reaction.

[TheLocalCannon]

9336328
Run. There is a yeerk in my head. This yeerk is particularly good with technology, plus I am a cybersecurity analyst. It will hunt you down to try and find the animorphs, even if you know nothing. The yeerk are mostly dumb on that end

[TheLocalCannon]

9244931
why did I even post this? I literally came back to this fic today going 'ah yes, the one the writer kindly asked everyone to not post about it being dead' I am a moron... *shakes head* anyways, sorry about that, do hope you don't mind. Haven't exactly gotten too wise since anyways, I'll likely post a bad comment again

[Sylica telca]

Now add a baby foal with chaos magic with flurry and blessed moon