• Published 30th Dec 2015
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It's A Screwed Up Life - Autum Breeze



Life can become very confusing when you go from working in a factory to waking up as a pony with Choas Magic. Wait. Did I say confusing? I meant FUN!

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Family Matters. Complicated Doesn’t Cover It

Family Matters. Complicated Doesn’t Cover It


___________________________________________________________

“I’m still pretty impressed with you, sis,” I say as the two of us walk along with Silver Spoon towards school.

Diamond looks at me, confused.

I sigh. Why did they have to wait til season 5 to give the CMC their Cutie Marks? It’s painfully, having to see my own sister not see the good she does when not thinking about herself or popularity, no matter how small.

SEVERAL DAYS AGO

Babs Seed strutted down the street, along with her two new companions, all three laughing at their latest deed. She was glad she’d managed to avoid being bullied again and had made some friends.

As they turned a corner, Babs spotted a filly who she was certain the two other Earth Ponies would want to target. She had a pink coat and purple and white mane, like Diamond Tiara, but unlike Tiara’s her mane and tail were a mess, as if she’d just gotten out of bed and not done anything with it, ever.

Her Cutie Mark was an odd one, a screw and baseball. However, it was what sat atop her head that Babs could tell would make her a target; a beanie, with a propeller on top.

Babs couldn’t believe how easy this filly was making it. She was clearly trying to look like Diamond Tiara, yet her own personality shone through the attempt. There was no way she wouldn’t become a target.

Babs smirked, realizing that, if she took the lead on this, it would cement her place with these two fillies. That way, even if they learned about what was really going on for her, back in Manehatten, they wouldn’t care, because she’d have proven herself one of them in their eyes.

“Hey,” she said, getting the two’s attention, “how’s about we go after that filly next?”

The two fillies’s eyes followed the direction she was pointing. Babs had barely taken a step forward, however, before she felt herself being yanked by two pairs of forelegs and was hurried into a nearby clump of bushes.

“Are you out of your mind, Babs?!” Diamond Tiara demanded.

For a second, the Apple thought she’d done something wrong in taking the lead and that Diamond was angry at her for overstepping the boundaries. That was until she saw the look in Diamond Tiara’s eyes. They were not eyes filled with anger, but pure fear.

“Huh?” Babs couldn’t help cocking an eyebrow. Why was Diamond so scared of somepony who was pretending to look like her?

“That’s Screwball!” Silver Spoon hissed, seeming just as terrified as her friend. “Only an idiot, not caring for their life, would mess with her!”

Babs looked between the two, her confusion only having grown from their explanations. “What, yer scared o’ a filly that looks like Diamond?”

“I’m not scared of my own little sister,” Diamond shook her head firmly, “I was scared for what would happen to you if you messed with her!”

Babs blinked, before frowning slightly. “Little sister? Yer saying yer scared o’ what yer little sister would do ta me if I messed with her? Sure yer not just being a bit of a protective big sister, there, Diamond Tiara?”

Diamond’s eyes widened and she sputtered for several moments before finally finding her voice again. “Be protective— of Screwball. I— but— Okay, maybe I am being a little protective, but what would you expect of a big sister?! Besides, it’s not really like she needs my protection anyway.”

This just confused Babs further.

“She has Chaos Magic, Babs,” Silver Spoon hissed. “Do you really wanna get on the wrong side of somepony with that kind of power?”

Babs felt completely lost now. “Chaos Magic? What in the hay are ya talkin’ about?”

Diamond pulled her attention back to her. “Do you remember when Discord got out?”

Babs nodded slowly. “Yeah, the papers in Manehatten had a big story on it. Something about how Equestria was almost warped inta sumthing weird.”

“Screwball was in the hospital when Discord got out,” Silver took over. “He found her and did something to her that backfired and she absorbed all the Chaos Magic that was left behind after he was sealed away again.”

“Now, Screwball can do pretty much anything he can do. so, if you read the story, you know she could send you into another dimension if she was angry enough.”

“That’s why we pulled you back, before you did something that caused you something we don’t even wanna think about,” Silver Spoon nodded.

Babs looked between the two, then to Diamond. “She’s yer sister, right? She can’t be all tha’ bad.”

“Well, normally, no,” Diamond admitted, sounding half reluctant and half... Babs couldn’t tell. “Most of the time she just makes trouble for our mother. She really hates her and mother seems to feel the same.”

“She’s normally fine around others,” Silver agreed. “Sometimes though, ponies have gotten on her bad side. You don’t want to be one of those ponies, trust me.”

Babs glanced between the two, before a thought came to mind. The way they spoke aobut being on Diamond’s sister’s bad side, it almost sounded like... “Have... have yous two ever... been on her bad side?”

Diamond and Silver shared a look, before Silver looked into Babs’ eyes. “We’re not sure if we were on not, but, what she did made us never want to be on that side of her ever again.”

“And we’d rather you not get on there either,” Diamond nodded, “for your own sake. So, let’s leave my sister alone and just go find those Cutie Mark Cry Babies again.”

Babs hesitated for a moment, before deciding to follow along.

NOW

I’d been fully aware of the three fillies the whole time I was speaking with Davenport. I’d never been more proud of Diamond before then than I am now for what she did.

She was putting Babs’ safety over her own in that moment. Yes, it was slightly tainted by the fact she was willing to just go back to tormenting the CMC using Apple Bloom’s own cousin, but it was still a noble thing trying to shine through.

I just hope I can keep that part of her somewhere close by until the CMC finally pull her completely out of her shell. And with Spoiled around, that isn’t an easy task.



“I’m just glad this week is almost over,” Silver says, sounding drained. “That many Pinkie Pies running around town... I’m going to be having nightmares for weeks.”

Yeah. I thankfully was able to avoid that, for the most part. I’d been hanging out with Zecora, if only because I wanted to steer clear of the Pinkies until the time was right.

I only came into town once I sensed all the Pinkies had been rounded up and teleported in to make sure Twilight didn’t accidentally send the real Pinkie into the Mirror Pool... which she nearly did, because the last clone had fallen asleep and tumbled into Pinkie, causing Twilight to almost miss the clone and hit Pinkie instead. Not that Twilight sent them to the pool. I can kinda relate to them, so I teleported each one away whenever Twilight zapped them, giving the illusion of her dispelling them and gave them all their own lives... which, strangely enough, still kinda seem like a life Pinkie could have if she chose to.

Plus, Pinkie wasn’t the only problem we had to deal with. Trixie came back with the Alicorn Amulet. I actually tried to head Trixie off before she reached Ponyvile.

You’d think I could’ve used my Chaos Magic to stop her but, no. Apparently that was one of the times I couldn’t fully interfere and got myself almost turned into a candy bar for my troubles.

Soon as I’d realized I couldn’t do anything to stop Trixie due to the unspoken rules a Chaos Being like myself has to follow, I teleported to Zecora’s and waited for Twilight. Soon as Twilight had figured out the plan to stop Trixie by making her think Twilight’s fake amulet was more powerful, I’d gone back with them, remaining hidden, shrunken to mouse size, in Twilight’s mane.

I helped her pull of a few extra tricks to fool Trixie, like turning Spike into a pony and back.

I wasn’t around during the events of Spike at Your Service because I’d been checking in on Babs in Manehatten, namely because of a fic I’d read way back before becoming Screwball, where Mosely Orange had arranged for Babs to be foalnapped and just wanted to be sure this Equestria’s Mosely wasn’t like that. And he’s not; still a full of himself ass, though.


But Silver’s right. This week has been exhausting. I think, for this weekend, I’m going on vacation to the Crystal Empire. Maybe I can tease Cadance and Shining Armour about having a foal, since I know they will eventually. Or maybe I’ll check on Sombra and Hope, see how they’ve been doing.

Either way, once that bell rings to end the day, I am so going to finally get some relaxation done.

___________________________________________________________

“Now, can somepony tell me the answer?” Cheerilee asked, indicating to the mathematics question on the board.

“Eleventy...six!” Snails called out, raising his hoof into the air.

The whole class bursts out laugh and I just face hoof.

“Oh, please,” Diamond snorts, “that doesn’t even make sense.”

“Make sense? Oh, what fun is there in making sense?”

I bolt upright and look around, several others in the class doing the same.

Oh no. Not today? Really?

There’s a big flash of light and the Chaos Lord himself is standing atop my desk. “Greetings, everypony. How’s school doing? Learn anything new today?”

“Like how a certain Chaos Lord is pissing me off right now?” I deadpan.

Discord pretends to look hurt, crocodile tears and all. And I mean crocodile tears, they were shaped like crocodiles. “Oh, my little Screwball, is that anyway to welcome back your dear old dad after so long?”

“DAD?!” everypony save the CMC, Diamond and Silver shout.

My deadpan turns into a scowl. “I’ll tell you the same I told Spoiled. You don’t have the right to call yourself my parent until you earn it.”

Discord smirks down at me, leaning down and pinching my cheeks, but backs off after I growl like a pit-bull. “Oh, Screwy, once I take back the magic you stole from me, you won’t even remember having a say in the matter.”

Before anypony can do anything, his eagle talon plunges into my chest, not in a gorey way, just phases in and doesn’t come out the other side.

Doesn’t stop everypony from screaming in terror, though.

The only one not scared, is me.

After a few seconds, Discord frowns in confusion, before looking to me.

I smirk. “Wow, Dad. Talk about not giving me any credit. Did you really think I wouldn’t have prepared for that?”

Before he can respond, my eyes glow red and I give him a X-Men Cyclops laser eye attack. He tumbled back, causing Miss Cheerilee’s desk to topple and break into several pieces.

I hop up onto my desk and snort, scrapping the wood like a bull about to charge. “Wanna try again, Dad?”

Discord pulls himself from the wreckage of Miss Cheerilee’s desk, glowering at me. “It would seem I underestimated your ingenuity, daughter. If Fluttershy wasn’t already on her way back, we would settle this now. Til next time, daughter.”

With a snap of his talon, he was gone.

Using my own magic, I fixed Miss Cheerilee’s desk and made it look like Discord had never been here.

“Sorry, everypony,” I sigh, looking around at all of them. “At least Fluttershy will have him reformed pretty soon.”

“You knew Discord would break out again?!” Diamond’s eyes widened in horror.

I shake my head. “He didn’t escape. The Element Bearers let him out.”

“WHAT?!”

If Discord doesn’t give me some rest this weekend, I swear, I’ll make him regret the day he found me.

Author's Note:

Sorry if this doesn't seem too good.

i just couldn't feel more for this anymore and just wanted to get on with the story.

please don't be too harsh with throwing your criticisms. i bruise easily.


til next time, later everypony

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