• Published 30th Dec 2015
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It's A Screwed Up Life - Autum Breeze



Life can become very confusing when you go from working in a factory to waking up as a pony with Choas Magic. Wait. Did I say confusing? I meant FUN!

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Justice is Served. I'll have mine Medium-Rare

Justice is Served. I'll have mine Medium-Rare


___________________________________________________________

I open my eyes and grin as I look around. I’m standing not too far from Crystal Prep, relishing in my latest prank on Principal Cinch. In includes a photo copier, cat guts and a walrus.

I stretch, before heading down the street.

“Wonder what I’ll do now,” I think out loud as I skip over a fallen box (which I then check, notice a filly Rainbow Dash in and teleport her into the proper fic).

I shrug. May as well see what’s going on with the version of myself from this world.

A snap of my fingers later and I’ve the latest phone, with my colour scheme, of course. I activate it and search the news from the time since I last was here. What I get is not quite what I was expecting.


“... Dr. Discord contacted Mrs. Spoiled Rich to find out why she hadn’t gotten her daughter to go through the surgery that would heal the poor child,” a female news woman was saying. “What was learned was not happy news. After finding out about her daughter’s condition, she indeed tried to have her scheduled for surgery, but later that very day received an anonymous email, threatening her and her family if she went through with the surgery or even brought knowledge about her daughter out to the public. Visiting her seemed to not incur the sender’s wrath, but it did trouble Mrs. Rich greatly that someone knew about her daughter’s condition and was willing to threaten herself and her family if she tried to make her better.”

The image suddenly changes to show the day I had visited the hospital, more over the security footage from that day. I can’t help smirking as I see what looks like a EQG version of Nyx walk out. Yeah, right. Like I was going to let myself get seen that easily.

“This young girl came to Doctor Discord, informing him of Lilac Rich’s condition and warning him someone was against the idea of the poor girl getting cured. An anonymous email to the doctor, to which the girl claimed was sent by herself, contained all the information on Lilac’s condition and the events leading up to the present time.

With this in mind, and Mrs. Rich’s permission, authorities did their best to trace the emails she had received threatening her family. The sender’s identity was a shock to all, though Doctor Discord had said he had been given a good idea and thus, whilst disappointed, was not completely surprised.”

The image changed to FilthyRich glaring at several policemen as they pushed him towards a police car.

“Filthy Rich, Spoiled’s own husband and Lilac’s father, had been the one sending the threatening emails,” the news woman continued. “After tracing the email, authorities went through all Filthy Rich’s past activity and it was found out that, for years, he has done everything he can to hide the fact that their second daughter not only was born with Unresponsive Wakefulness Syndrome, but that she even existed. When questioned under lie detector test, it was revealed that he didn’t want the world to know he had a daughter with Lilac’s condition for it would ruin his own reputation and loss him business.”

I snarl. A mirror reflection of his pony wife.

The image then changed to that of someone I wasn’t expecting to see. Button Mash’s mother. “It’s horrible that a father would even think that way,” she said, glaring into the camera. “Thinking of his children like that. He doesn’t deserve to call himself a father.”

The news woman returned to the screen. “upon further investigation, it has been found that Spoiled and Flithy’s first born child, Diamond Tiara’s social life, has been dominated by her father, with him even threatening to disown his daughter if she didn’t follow Filthy’s orders, including who she could and couldn’t be friends with, along with that, whether she wanted to or not, would follow him in buinses upon graduating. Filthy has been arrested and will face charges of child neglect, blackmailing his own wife and daughter, child endangerment, falsifying documents to keep his ill daughter unaided or even known to the public. He is under watch, is not allowed to interact with his wife or daughters and faces trial in three months.”

The image changed again, this time to show a still frame of Spoiled and Diamond heading into the hospital.

“Understandably, the news has shaken Spoiled Rich and Diamond Tiara. The young girl never even knew she had a sister until her father was arrested. Many would wish she had learned of her under better circumstances. The two have visited Lilac almost every day since Filthy’s arrest and Lilac will be heading in for the first step of her surgery tomorrow.”

The video ends and I move to the most recent one, which was a few days ago. What I see what the video starts makes no sense. It showed security footage of a room that was clearly a hospital room, with someone who is clearly Lilac sleeping in a hospital bed.

However, it’s the being dressed in some weird orange armour that looks like a clown outfit with a helmet, standing between the bed and a clearly angry Filthy Rich that confuses me.

As I watch the video, however, my confused frown turns into a smirk. Oh, this is going to be fun.

Ending the video, I turn off the phone and pocket it, before turning my head in a direction and snap my fingers.

___________________________________________________________

Filthy smirked as he stopped in front of the door to that degenerate’s room. It had been child’s play to sneak in dressed as a doctor . A little touch of makeup and nobody realized it was him. He did have the look of a respectable and handsome man, after all.

Finding the right chemicals to blend into what he needed had been a bit tricky, but he’d managed to hide that retch from the world for years. It had just taken a bit of time and the final product was ready.

Under the guise of taking some medication to another patient, thus diverting any suspicions and likely connections and now he was at the door.

He picked up the syringe and the mixture. All he had to do was injected it into the IV drip and all his problems would be over. He couldn't afford to be in jail, not when Camp Everfree was so close to finally being in his grasp.

With the syringe in hand, Filthy opened the door, only to frown when he saw someone standing before the bed, facing him.

It was not so much the fact that someone was in the room, thus complicating matters for him, but more what they were wearing that caused him to frown.

They were wearing what looked like body armour of some kind, but it was colour-schemed wit oranges, purples and whites. A white and orange striped skirt covered around the person’s waist, which Filthy found very redundant as it was clear something like pants was being worn underneath. Around the wait was what looked like a belt of some kind, with a large square area where the buckle should be, the image of a baseball and a screw imprinted on the front.

On the person’s head they wore a biker’s helmet that looked like a jester’s hat, though their face was still hidden under a black visor. Under the visor, around the mouth area was a goofy looking smile.

“Halt!” they said, holding up a hand. The voice was female, that of a young girl.

He cocked up eyebrow. “And... just what are you suppose to be?”

The figure hopped up on one like and did the peace sign. “Wherever reality is dull and need of fun, bringing illogical to the logical, I am, Kamen Rider Chaos!”

Filthy only now took notice that this very oddly dressed stranger was the size of a teenager. Remembering his disguise, he gave an expression that should tell the child to stop playing around and that she needed to leave.

However, instead of the girl taking the hint, she moved into what Filthy recognized as a defensive stance. “You’ve caused this girl enough harm, Filthy Rich. To think I thought you'd be like my daddy. How wrong I was. I won’t let you destroy her life.”

Filthy’s eyes widened at the mentioning of his name. This ridiculously dressed person knew who he was? How? He’d looked in the mirror before coming over and not even recognized himself. After all, he was wearing such common attire. How could anyone recognize him wearing it, let alone with all the makeup he used to hide his appearance?

Then he growled. So what if this child knew who he was? Who’d believe someone dressed in such an over the top, ridiculous outfit saying they’d seen him do what he needed to do?

He moved to step forward and push the foolish girl aside, but the girl reached down to her belt and pulled out some kind of card, before putting it back down and slipping it into some kind of slot just behind the image on the belt, a strange computerized sound coming from it.

Prank ride, a deep voice, with what sounded like a Japaneighs accent said from nowhere. Switch.

Filthy looked around in confusion, before looking back to the girl. She’d called herself Kamen Rider Chaos, right?

Chaos nodded towards the syringe. Filthy looked down, only for his eyes to widen. Instead of the chemical mixture he’d created, inside the syringe he now saw what looked like...cookie dough?

The strange computerized sound happened again and he turned to Chaos, who’s belt front was glowing again, before she heard the voice again Prank ride: Cream Pie.

Before Filthy could understand what was happening, he was smashed from the side of the head by... a cream pie?

Wiping the cream from his eyes and looking to where the pie had come from, he saw no one. He, the retch and this Kamen Rider Chaos were the only ones in the room. So where had the pie come from?

Chaos took out another card, before doing as before, the voice responding, Prank ride: Wedgy!

Filthy barely held in his scream as he suddenly felt his underwear being yanked up into a very uncomfortable position.

Prank ride: Wet Pants.

Filthy felt his face flare with embarrassment as he felt himself peeing his pants, unable to figure out why or even seeming able to stop himself until he’d finished, a large stain on the front of his pants showing the evidence of urination.

He looked to Chaos with a fuming glare, but was stopped when the voice spoke once more. Prank ride: Rug Flip.

Filthy suddenly found a large red rug underneath him that was yanked out, causing him to topple over. He struggled to regain his focus as the three Kamen Rider Chaos in front of him wouldn't stand still.

Chaos chuckled, before taking out a card with the same image as the one on her belt, before putting it inside. Final Prank ride: Blow Mind.

The helmet glowed with an orange light, before disappearing, relieving the face of the one who dared to put her though all this.

...

Filthy blinked several times, before her eyes went wide. He looked from the bed, back to the one standing before him, who was grinning.

“Hi, Daddy,” said the girl with the face of the one lying in the bed, yet was standing before her. “Gotcha.”

Filthy's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he collapsed to the floor.

___________________________________________________________

Filthy glared at the wall, refusing to turn around. How dare they do this to him. He was an important person in this town. How dare they put him in jail for doing what he had to do? Didn’t they understand it was necessary?


After he’d come to, he’d learned someone had found him unconscious in the hospital room. The police had been called and he’d been taken away, despite him trying to pin the blame on that Kamen Rider Chaos character.

Strangely, everyone acted like he was just blabbering, even though there was no way anyone could missed someone dressed up like that, especially in a hospital.

After the police had listened to him and told him how he’d broken the restraining order placed upon him that stated he wasn’t allowed within a hundred metres of his degenerate daughter, which was being added to his sentence when it finally came through, along with what they learned he’d planned to do in the degenerate’s bedroom.


Til then, he was stuck in this disgusting prison cell, in solitary confinement. At most, he'd be able to finally deal with Gloriosa and get Camp Everfree, but it could possibly be a short-lived victory if he didn't play his cards right. The floor was just rock and they didn’t even have scented shampoos or soups for him to use during his unfortunate stay here. How dare they? Didn’t they know he had rights?

“Hello, Filthy.”

The man felt ashamed that he yelped at the sudden voice, before whirling around.

His cell wasn’t too big, but, it being late, there wasn’t a lot of light entering his cell, despite there being a streetlamp not too far away. However, in the darker area of his cell, Filthy could make out the figure of someone.

He glared. “Who are you, my cellmate?” He waved a hand. “Just remain where you are. Filth like you should know to keep your distance.”

The other person gave a low chuckle. “Funny. I was about to say the same thing.”

Suddenly, Filthy found he couldn't move. His eyes widened in fear, wondering what was going on. The person chose this moment to step out into the light and their appearance caused his eyes to widen. It looked like Lilac. However, her eyes were what terrified Filthy. They had no pupils. They were just purple and pink spirals.

“Screwball.”

He cocked an eyebrow despite his fear.

The girl glared at him. “My name is Screwball. Glad to see you’re finally going to pay for what you’ve done.”

This turn of phrase snapped Filthy out of it, his being able to get where this was going thanks to all the pointless talks he’d had to go through in the last couple of weeks.

“Oh, of course. Another who doesn’t see what I did was necessary.”

The mood changed instantly. The girl, Screwball’s, eyes flared with anger, her hair seeming to move in a wind that wasn’t even there. Filthy didn’t have much time to think about this, however, as he suddenly found himself slammed backward into the wall, so hard it actually left a small impact crater.

Screwball shot forward, her whole body screaming rage. “Necessary?! You think it was necessary to try ruining your two daughters’ lives? How is that necessary, Filthy Rich? How?”

He grunted, slightly winded from the impact, before glaring at the girl. “How else was I to further myself in life?”

There was silence for several moments, before Screwball’s eyes seemed to turn completely red, Filthy couldn’t even see the whites in them anymore.

“Are you telling me, the only reason you had children, was so you could use them to further yourself in life? That you don’t care what emotional baggage your wife and daughter are currently going through because of what you did to Diamond’s sister, not to mention the pressures you already put on Diamond from the beginning because you wouldn't let her chose her own life?!”

Getting his breath back, Filthy gave her a confused look. “What else are they for? Why else would I put myself through nine months of dealing with my pregnant wife and the sleepless nights that followed after Diamond was born?” he snorted. “And, in the end, the second one was worthless to me anyway. May as well have been a still birth.”

The stillness in the air suddenly unnerved the man, who looked to the girl to see her giving a cold stare.

Without warning, whatever was holding Filthy up against the wall seemed to stop and he dropped down, flopping to the floor.

Screwball looked at her with what Filthy could only describe as a dead hatred. “To think, when I first came to this world, I expected you to be just like my father and your wife to be like my mother. How wrong i was. You’ll never know happiness.” The girl snapped her fingers and was just gone.

Filthy didn’t have much time to ponder this though, as he fell unconscious.

Author's Note:

This didn't turn out nearly as good as i wanted. I feel so much more could've been done with this chapter. namely because i feel i could've done more with Kamen Rider Chaos.

guess it just wasn't meant to be as good as i meant.

Next chapter will FINALLY be the wedding and how Chrsy gets revealed is much less imposing than in the show.

Edit 22/07/2016: Turns out i forgot just how many more episodes were before the wedding, so i have to push it back more chapters:raritycry::twilightangry2:

Edit 9/10/2016: Yeah, after seeing more proof that Pony Filthy is a good pony, but still getting no evidence that EG Filthy is a nasty buisnessman, i've change it so Spoiled is actually a good person in EG, whereas Filthy isn't.

Now at least Screwball can feel what it's like to have a loving mother again, when she introduces herself to EG Spoiled.


hope you could somewhat enjoy this and, til next time, later everypony

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