“I thought Sunburst and I were the same,” Starlight Glimmer said in an angry tone. “But we turned out different, and it tore our friendship apart!” She screamed tearfully as the scroll she held aloft with magic was torn further.
Twilight suddenly flapped her wings, rising above the cloud she stood on as Spike held onto her back. Spike looked down at Starlight with a sympathetic expression.
“So try again,” Twilight said. “Make new friends! And if something that you can't control happens that changes things—”
Spike raised an eyelid slightly.
"—work through it together! That's what friendship is! And it's not just my friendships that are important to Equestria! Everypony's are! When yours ended, it led us here. But just imagine all the others that are out there waiting for you if you just give them a chance!”
“Uh, excuse me,” Spike said.
Starlight’s expression had softened. “How do I know they won't all end the same way?”
Spike raised his hand. “Hello?”
Twilight glanced behind her. “Just a second, Spike.” She turned back to Starlight, “I guess it's up to you to make sure they don't,” Twilight said as she descended to a cloud right in front of Starlight.
Spike interjected, “See, that’s what’s bugging me.”
Twilight turned her neck as best she could to look at the dragon on her back. Starlight looked up at Spike with an inquisitive look.
Spike motioned to Starlight. “If she could travel through time to any point, why focus on this moment in time?” Spike asked as a Sonic Rainboom suddenly turned the sky beneath the group into a brilliant display of colors.
Starlight sighed and brought the scroll closer. “Reset,” she said in a tired tone.
“No, wait!” Twilight pleaded.
Spike nodded. “Yeah, you can do that whenever you want. You might as well sit and answer my questions for a bit.”
Starlight let out an exhausted sigh and sat down on her haunches.
Twilight turned again and attempted to scowl at the dragon. “That’s not… Wait, what questions? You have more than the one?”
“Well, yeah,” Spike answered. “Twilight, she can travel to any point in time! Why didn’t she go back and make it so she succeeded with her Equalist plot? Instead, she’s fighting you to a standstill time and time again. Even there she could have gotten some help! Heck, she could have gone back and fixed her friendship with Sunburst.”
Twilight pursed her lips as her eyes went wide, then turned to face Starlight Glimmer. “Those are all excellent points! Why didn’t you do any of that?”
Starlight let out a long continuous moan of annoyance. “You two better get comfortable. This might take a while.”
Twilight lowered herself onto the cloud, laying on her belly as Spike leaned forward, propping his head up on a cloud as he laid on top of Twilight’s back.
“So… of course the first thing I did was to arrange time so I ended up achieving my dream of Equestria-wide equality…”
>~~oooooo~~<
Starlight grit her teeth as the turquoise glow of her horn flickered in the dark night. In front of her was a modest two-story cottage, a hammer coming down on a nail with a ‘thwack!’
With a rather annoyed expression on her face, Starlight whipped a foreleg across her brow and gently floated the hammer to the ground. “There! After destroying all of Canterlot Castle, I finally made a new cottage for myself.”
A large group of ponies, all bearing the same ‘equal sign’ cutie mark, all wearing the same symmetrical too-perfect grin, gently clapped their hooves together.
“Ugh… Yes, yes, thanks,” Starlight said in an exhausted tone. “Now if you all don’t mind, I can use some re—”
An earth stallion male with a pure white coat raised a forehoof. “Just a second, Starlight Glimmer.”
Starlight let out a heavy sigh. “What is it now, Double Diamond?”
Double Diamond turned to a dark blue pegasus mare. “Night Glider? Would you do the honors?”
Night Glider flew up to the chimney of the cottage, pulling out a tape measure. She hooked it to the edge of the chimney and then descended to the ground, making sure the flexible tape measure stayed flat against the roof and side of the cottage.
Starlight buried her face in her forehooves. “Oh Equality, not this again…”
Night Glider brought the tape measure all the way to the ground and eyed it closely. “It’s a few millimeters larger than it should be… The cottage is too tall… Or too wide… It’s hard to tell.”
Double Diamond nodded. “Alright, tear it down and try again.”
Starlight Glimmer lowered her hooves revealing a rage filled face. “But this is the fifth cottage! I know I’ve taught you all the value of equality, but this is too fa—”
“Starlight Glimmer!” a male voice called out. “Double Diamond!”
“Oh, what now?” Starlight huffed out.
A male blue unicorn with a two-toned blue mane and a pink unicorn with a purple mane crested a nearby hill, trotting up to the group. Rectangular metal red canisters floated behind them as they joined the group.
“We just finished burning down all the corn we could find!” the pink unicorn announced happily.
Double Diamond nodded satisfactorily. “Good work.”
“WHAT?!” Starlight exclaimed. “Sugarbelle… Party Favor… Why the buck would you do that?!”
Sugar Belle and Party Favor exchanged a confused look as if they were just asked the most obvious question in the world. They answered in unison, “Because corn grows taller than other vegetables.”
<~~oooooo~~>
Twilight stared in silence for a moment, blinking as she tried to process what she just heard. “…Wow.” was the only response she could muster.
“Yeah…” Starlight said as she sheepishly looked away. “I may have pushed the idea of Equality a little too much.”
Spike spoke up, “Hey, if you traveled in time to run the Equality movement, doesn’t that mean you would have met yourself?”
Starlight let out another heavy sigh. “Yes. What an obnoxious snob that pony was.”
Spike raised an eyelid. “Was?”
“Okay,” Twilight said, “but what about you getting help?”
Starlight’s eyes went distant. “That… that was even worse…”
The only thing I have to say is time is one confusing son of a-
Yeah okay.
ending was a little over the top, but it was pretty good. I really liked how you wrote Spike when he saw Sunburst's behavior
great story i like it ^^
That, went places. Certainly ones that I did not expect, but it was an amusing and enjoyable trip just the same.
I know it said random comedy, but wow, that was really random and funny and... weird at the end. Plan A was simple funny, Plan B got weird and creepy fast, and Plan C was depressing. I'm usually pretty happy to see a Sunset alicorn cameo though. And yay for Spike for being the sane one among a bunch of crazy ponies, he's the best friend anypony could ask for.
I never get tired of your creepy version of Trixie.
*snrk* Nice Futurama reference.
THAT'S my girl! It's like I always say, Sunset's the Zero to Twilight's X--
...
Or...that.
Whee!
...and the rest of that scene is just hilarious sociopathy and
The whole bit with Wifebeater Sunburst was a little dark though.
The bit with Sunset and Twilight kicking Sunburst and Future Starlight's butts was cathartic, if psychotic. Nobody writes comically psychotic characters quite as well as you.
The thing with Spike was kind of heartwarming.
The letter at the end made me laugh my ass off. Did Tired Old Man write that part? It sounds like him.
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw3019_medium.jpg
I don't know what I just read. The only thing I know is that it ended with a lot of alicorns.
6690921
I'm glad you caught that reference. I feared it was too subtle.
That opening bit with Sunburst was definitely huge case of mood whiplash. In fact, I wrote what I thought was "the end" before that part, which was Twilight and Sunset laying the smack-down on Starlight then Shimmer discovering her wings, but as I wrote Sunburst I just felt so bad for Starlight the younger given she was completely blameless in this mess of time.
The letter was written by me, but I was channeling the tone of Letters from an Irritated Princess. Plus Tired Old Man tweaked what Tia said a bit more to resemble his works. Tired Old Man shows me every letter before it's published and we workshop it a bit if it seems it needs something. Sunny marrying a cake was something I cooked up, though Tired Old Man gets the credit for deciding Tia and Luna needed silly clones of themselves in the first place.
6691046 This... This ws beautiful.
Wow.
That. Was. AWESOME!!! Why can't Spike be as awesome in the show as is he here?!
And let me see if I got this right: there are now four princesses of friendship: Twilight Sparkle, Sunset Shimmer, and at least two, maybe three, Starlight Glimmers. Could you clear that up for me?
I like this. It's funny. And shwifty. Also, your first link isn't working. Here, let me help.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VEyVamLjYY&t=0m25s
Next time, don't copy paste the address from any playlists.
6691229
Glad you liked it.
There's two Starlight Glimmers, just the pair that showed up in the story.
uh... was Spike coming on to Past-Starlight?
6691232
Thank you! The first link is working as intended now. GDocs made an awful mess of it for some reason.
Too much confusion to make a vote.
This might've made little to no sense at all, but I liked it.
Haha, oh man, this was awesome. We need more stories in this timeline of events, post-haste!
6691448 If you haven't read much of my other stuff, there's some light references to past works such as Together We Can Name This Town, Stealing the Deed , and Cafeteria Control. The letter at the end is also a nod to Tired Old Man's Letters from an Irritated Princess.
If you like this brand of zany humor, they might be right up your alley.
First, creepy!Trixie rules.
Second, the narrative of the story seems a bit rushed and confusing. Still funny, though. So there's that.
HOHOHOHO MY GOD, THIS WAS FANTASTIC!!!
Madness!
6691465 I'll give them a look. I'll need some Sunset Shimmer reference material for ideas on how to write her, so Cafeteria Control is definitely of interest.
This is a golden 11/10.
6691008
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/gyropedia/images/0/05/Url.png/revision/latest?cb=20130209081830
You sir, are a genius.
6691520
Thanks for the compliment and the criticism. This was written after a late night when the idea struck and I knew I had to get out of bed and get it all out. Basically, this is 2 parts talking ideas over with Tired Old Man, 2 parts inspiration, 1 part five hours of sleep, 3 parts caffeine, and 1 part desperately trying to get it all done before my responsibilities kicked in later that evening.
So yeah, probably could have done with a little more time rather than the 8ish hours it took to type the whole thing out. On the other hoof, almost the entirety of the story hit me all at once and I had to get it out.
That was hilarious, I lost it when Starlight and Twilight burst in and started beating Sunburst, the music was timed PERFECTLY! X Gon give it to ya's lyrics starting, as they laid the beat down =D. Probably best fictional version of a mature Spike I've seen in awhile. I was giggling when Sunburst got his second beatdown lol. And Twilight taking Sunset Shimmer and making her another alicorn Princess of Friendship was just gold.
I enjoyed the Futurama and Rick & Morty references and I think Creepy Trixie being abandoned might have been a very subtle reference to Norm the Genie abandoning Crocker in that old Fairy Odd Parents episode, but that's probably just me noticing a connection where there isn't one =p.
DO NOT MESS WITH TIME
Why is there a [Sex] tag? I couldn't find any reference to sex her. Don't you mean a [Gore] tag for the violence?
Pretty good, maybe a bit too much OOCness like Spike channeling the Common Sense Fanfiction Guy, but in some ways a more believable befriending of Starlight.
6691855
"Sex" is admittedly pretty light, but given Trixie's behavior, the bit with Starlight's wandering hand, and one comment Sunburst made, I figured it was better to put it on.
Best thing I've read maybe ever
This... This wins everything.
I liked it up until the valedictorian speech. That bit seemed over the top to me. Still giving a thumbs up though.
It was good.
Well, at least they beat up Starlight as well.
Not sure I'm so keen on what you did with Sunburst in this story, though.
Overall, ambivalent. Not my kind of story, but that was to be expected. Creepy Trixie was funny, as was Sunset screaming at her Copy Pony. But things became really mean-spirited towards the end, so much so that it wasn't funny to me anymore.
Addendum: What the heck, I'll give it an upvote anyway. The first half was just too good; not acknowledging that wouldn't do the piece justice.
6691748
I've had nights like that. Still, this was pretty good all things considered.
also, one of the best starlight glimmer stories ever. ever committed to the typed word. this exists now, and i'll never forget it.
and seriously, when twilight told younger starlight not to mess with time, this is the only thing i could think of. (bloodsport / chong li)
renegadecinema.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/boloyeung-bloodsport.jpg
By Luna's moon you had a Rick and Morty reference, and I laughed my fucking ass off!
Preface: The following comment contains a buttload of corrections. However, I would like to stress that I really enjoyed this story, and the individual ideas therein are so interesting that I think this story could really benefit from being split into chapters and fully fleshed out. That would also help with the few isolated comments saying this feels a little rushed and confusing, which it does. With that out of the way, we present Everything Wrong with This Story on a Purely Technical Level:
Night Glider. Written as two words, not one.
I assume you meant quaking, unless you meant for Starlight to be so surprised that she became a duck.
'short black skirt'. Short-black is not a kind of black.
Here I am just adding words, adding words, adding words! Here I am just adding words, to make sentences! (to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down)
Either you're missing the word 'feelings', or that comma is meaningless.
regard. Singular.
But what meal? Was she sitting lunchly? Dinnerly? Breakfastly? Or merely?
Complete sentences want to be your friend!
Horseapples is usually one word.
The Youtube links are obnoxious, immersion-breaking, and completely unnecessary.
To quaff is to drink in such a way that you are not so much drinking as throwing the alcohol from the mug in the vague direction of your mouth. You meant to say 'coiffed', as in a coiffure.
whose
Sudden change in tense here.
I have inserted a word here.
And here.
And finally, ponykind is usually written as a single word.
6692619
Thank you very much. I'll look into fixing this and breaking it up when I'm back in front of a proper computer.
That was glorious. Here I thought it would end in sappy "friendship is all nice, butterflies and rainbows" but it suddenly turned amazing with comically over the top violence.
Also that ending felt a lot like "Letters from an Irritated Princess".
P.S: Celestia can't really complain about all the alicorns Twilight is making after her and luna's little trip to the mirror pool. But with Sunny eloping with a cake and being a neighponese popstar and Moony doing... Whatever it is Moony does. I can't blame her.
This was very silly.
As soon as the song was introduced I knew where it was going. I was not disappointed. Get Schwifty indeed
Reading this again, I'll just say one thing.
If you're going to write a story where Glimmer's infatuated with Spike, and Rarity ain't okay with that, I would pay ten thousand bits to see that catfight in action.
D'awwwww.
(Er, I mean: So evil! Trixie is surely the most cruel of Twilight's enemies.)
Oh relax, Trixie. There's plenty of Twi to go around. Did you know there's two of her?
"And as for the other stuff... "
Am I missing something? People are talking about things I haven't read in this story.
Lost it.
Also, in a time travel story.