It's A Screwed Up Life

by Autum Breeze


Protection from the Moon’s Guard on the Eve of Hearth's. Sounds too poetic for this fic, don't it?

Quick Author's Note

Part of this chapter was written as the prize to Night N Gale for being one of the two winners of my little competition a while back.

Protection from the Moon’s Guard on the Eve of Hearth's. Sounds too poetic for this fic, don't it?


___________________________________________________________

“Take that!” I call out, snapping the end of my tail and sending a wave of snowballs flying forward.

Sweetie Belle cries out as she’s buried in the snow, before she sticks her head out glares in my direction as Scootaloo and I hoofbump.

“Yeah, Screwy and I win,” she grins as we trot over, Apple Bloom coming out from the tree she was hiding behind to avoid the barrage.

“No fair, Screwy,” the unicorn pouts as the Apple filly helps her out. “You’re not allowed to use your powers like that. We can’t win against that.”

“The rules said we could use anything at our disposal during the game,” Scootaloo smirks. “Last I checked, that includes any skills anypony on the team knows.”

“Oh yeah? How about this then?”

We both glance in Apple Bloom’s direction and see her buck a nearby tree.

It takes a second for either of us to understand what she meant, before our vision is covered in white.

“Let’s call it a tie, huh?” she asks as we both pop our heads out of the snow.

I giggle and Scootaloo just rolls her eyes. “Fine, whatever.”

“Could you at least try to socialize with ponies more befitting our family?”

We all turn to see Diamond and Silver Spoon standing a little away from us, Diamond giving me an annoyed look.

I shrug, melting the ice and shaking myself like a dog, before bending down and scratching my ear with my back leg, grinning. “Hey. We can each chose who we want as friends, right?”

She rolls her eyes, before giving the CMC a nasty glare. “Your sisters asked me to tell you they’re leaving soon.”

The girls all look at each other, before their eyes widen.

“We’d better hurry. Rarity will have a fit if we’re late,” Sweetie Belle says.

The other two nod, before Apple Bloom looks to me. “Uh, Screwy? Ya wanna come with us?”

I shake my head and indicate to Diamond, who is now fuming that Apple Bloom suggested I go with them and not her. “I wanna spend Hearth’s Warming with my family, AB. Catch you girls when you get back, kay?”

They nod, before hurrying off.

Yep. Tonight is Hearth's Warming Eve and the Element Bearers and the CMC are going to Canterlot so the latter can watch the former perform in the Hearth's Warming Ever play.

And, yes, it is still kinda doing my head in that an event from later in Season 2 is taking place before another event that was meant to come before it.

As I walk over to join Tiara and Spoon, I smirk at Diamond’s still fuming face. “Jealous that they get to go to Canterlot because their sisters are in the biggest play this year?”

She rounds on me. “Last I checked, that scooter-riding Blank Flank’s got no sisters going!”

I shrug. “You think AJ or Rarity would leave one of their little sisters’ friends out?”

She glowers, before looking away.

I roll my eyes. “Last I checked, we’ve got something happening tonight, right?”

She nods, before gaining more of her normal smirk. “Yep. Daddy told me we’ll be having dinner with one of his clients.”

I notice Silver sigh. “Lucky you. My parents decided we’re staying home tonight.”

I frown at Silver. “You know, someday, everypony will know we’re your family gets its fortune from, Silver. Hiding it really isn’t going to help.”

Silver looks at me, before glancing at Diamond questioningly.

The other filly shrugs. “I’ve given up trying to understand how she knows the stuff she does.”

It doesn’t hurt that I did a background check, late as it was. Silver Spoon’s family is rich like ours, but not for the same reasons. Her father, Silver Sterling, is the jeweler in the store Apple Bloom and Scoots go with Big Mac to buy Cheerilee a ring for their wedding whilst he was under the influence of the Love Poison. Or will be. Urg. Time context!

But her mother, Silverspeed, is a Pegasus that works on the weather team. You see her briefly in Hurricane Fluttershy. Both jobs pay pretty well, hence why Silver has so much money, but, for whatever reason; Silver has tried to hide her parents’ jobs from others, save Tiara.

I shake my head and look to Silver. “Honestly, I’d rather us have that kind of a Hearth’s Warming, Silver. You get to spend time with just your parents, instead of being stuck around stuck-up rich ponies who can’t think of anything to say other than flaunt their money in your face just to make you feel smaller due to how much more money they have.”

Silver blinks, not really sure about my wording, but nods.

We all turn and head towards home. Silver will be heading back to her house in a while, but she can hang around, which gives both Diamond and myself a reason not to be around Spoiled.

As we walk down the road, Silver makes a gagging sound. “Ew! What’s that smell?”

Diamond sniffs the air, before gagging herself.

I take a sniff and gag, before my eyes widen. Oh, crap! It smells like somebody left a corpse out in the sun for ages and ages and ages and then covered it in vinegar and set it on fire... and I’ve smelled it before.

Whirling around, I’m slammed in the head by a paw. I fly backward, hitting my head against a rock.

Argh! Shit, that hurt. My head feels like it’s pounding and Diamond and Silver’s screams aren’t helping—

My eyes widen and I stagger to my hooves and to see Diamond and Silver being back against a tree by a trio of Timber Wolves.

Grimacing from the smack to the head, I try to use my magic to turn the living wood into Chihuahuas, like I did the last Timber Wolves I ran into.

However, the moment I try, my head pounds harder. Crap. Must be like how, if a unicorn or Alicorn is suffering a massive headache, they can’t focus their magic.

But, I’ve got to do something. I can’t let my sister and her best friend get eaten by Timber Wolves. Not even thinking about the ramifications that could have on the timeline, Diamond’s my sister and Silver’s her best friend. I am not loosing anymore of my family than I already have.

I stagger towards the trio of living wood, but stumble to the ground with a thud. This, however, seems to draw the attention of the Timber Wolves, causing them to turn in my direction, before prowling over to me. As a downed pony, I’m clearly an easier target.

Considering what I can do with my magic, I’d normally disagree with this statement, but, with my head pounding, preventing me from concentrating on using my magic, I have no choice.

“Screwball!” Diamond’s voice cries in fright, going up in pitch. “Get away! Run!”

If only I could. Had I realized how close that Timber Wolf that swatted me was, I could’ve braced myself, even using some Chaos Magic, to avoid this headache from happening and could've then used more Chaos Magic to solve the problem within seconds.

As I watch the trio of wooden wolves circle me, I brace for the pain. So, this is how I go out? Lunch for living wood with teeth?

A shout causes me to jump, before a dark-grey shape lunges from behind me, knocking into the Timber Wolves. Startled, they scatter, before regrouping and growling.

I look up at my saviour through the headache.

The pony standing before me is a dark gray earth pony stallion with a black spiky mane with red spiked bangs combed to the side. His tail is short and spiked and features the same colour scheme as his hair. He seems a little taller than Applejack. His Cutie Mark, which I’m getting a good look at from my current positron, is a blue shield with a black Nightingale bird.

For some reason light is glaring back in my eyes as I look at him and it takes a moment to realize why. The guy’s got an artificial, metal leg. His real leg rear leg is just gone. I didn’t know Equestria was advanced enough yet for working prosthetics like that.

“Beat it, your wooden beasts,” he growls, unsheathing a sword emblazoned with Luna's crescent moon Cutie Mark and holding it in his mouth.

He and the wolves stand off for several moments, before the wolves seem to decide it’s not worth it and turn and head back in the direction of the Everfree Forest.

“Screwball!” the ground thumps with the sound of hoofbeats, before I feel Diamond lift me up. “Are you okay? You’re not too hurt are you?”

I move to shake my head, but stop when it starts pounding harder and I wince. “I’m... I’m okay, sis. Just need to wait this headache out.”

“I’d suggest going to the hospital to get yourself checked out,” the stallion says, walking over as he sheaths his sword.

Looking to him, I frown. “That sword. Only ponies in the Lunar Guard use them.”

He nods. “Princess Luna assigned me to keep an eye on you after she returned from Nightmare Night. I’m under cover, so I’m not wearing my armour right now.”

“To make sure I don’t cause trouble?” I ask, leaning against Diamond as my legs wobble. Damn. I forgot how much it sucks not to be able to whisk your problems away with Chaos Magic.

He gives a half-nod. “And to make sure nothing bad happened to you, though she told us she trust you and to not think of you as a smaller version of Discord. Judging by what’s just happened, she had a right to be worried.”

I nod slightly so I don’t increase the pain. “Normally the Timber Wolves don’t come out of the forest.”

He nods. “Yeah, but some are getting more daring. I’ve had several others keeping an eye on things and we’re even getting aid from Miss Zecora. We think it’s conected to a rumour that a Windigo has found its way to Equestria. They’re restless and not sure what to do, so they're coming out of the forest. Once things have settled down, we’ll be able to leave the forest to her alone. Now, let’s get you to that check-up.”

Makes sense. There was a Windigo cry during the Hearth’s Warming Eve episode, though it was no doubt repelled by the Friendship-Fire heart that blazes above the city at the end of the episode. Or will tonight. Damn time context! And my headache isn’t feeling any better for it.

I nod and we follow him back into town, heading for Ponyville Hospital.

As we walk, I ask him a few questions.

His name is Knight’n Gale, which he explains is pronounced Nightingal, like the bird.

While not being a bat-pony, like the first of the Lunar Guard seen during Nightmare Night, he is very skilled in fighting and sword using skills, making him a very reliable pony to have in combat.

When Silver asks why he joined the Lunar Guard instead of the Solar Guard, he tells as that lost his wife and only son in the battle for he was defending them during a raid by a gang of thieves while living in darker parts of Canterlot. It was this experience that drove him to join the Lunar Guard, so he can make sure nothing like what happened to him, happens to others.

I offer to use my Chaos Magic, once I can use it again without causing myself a worse splitting headache than I've already got, to give him back his leg, he declines, saying he prefers to have the leg. It reminds him just why he serves in the Lunar Guard every day.

We get to the hospital and Nurse Redheart checks me out. I’ve a mild concussion, but nothing serious. She just warns me not to do anything to strenuous for a few days.

With that over with, Knight’n Gale leads us back through Ponyville, stopping at Silver’s house to drop her off, before he escorts us back to the mansion. Randolph answers the door and speaks with the Lunar Guard, before stepping aside for us and we walk in.

___________________________________________________________

“This is outrageous!” Spoiled growls, stomping her hoof as she paces around the living room.

“Honey, you heard what the guard said,” Daddy says, sitting in between Diamond and myself on the coach. “We shouldn’t take Screwball to Canterlot when she has a concussion.”

“She can use that Chaos Magic of hers to fix herself,” the pink mare snorts, waving a hoof.

Daddy sighs. “Honey, she can’t. That was explained too. The concussion is making it hard for her to concentrate to use her magic, like unicorns. That’s why I think we should just have Hearth’s Warming here, at home.”

“We could invite Silvy’s family over too!” Diamond suggests eagerly, before wilting as Spoiled turns her gaze on her.

Spoiled looks to her husband. “But, if we do not show up, ponies will talk, dear. Our family’s reputation could be on the line.”

“Spoiled,” he says, using her name for the first time in my living memory, “I’d sure they would understand us missing one dinner if it’s for our daughter’s health.”

Spoiled grits her teeth, before sighing and looking to her husband. “If you want to stay with our daughter, dear, then fine. But, we must at least home some of the family attend. Diamond?”

Said filly winces, before looking to our father. “Is it alright if I stay with Screwball, Daddy? She got hurt because the Timber Wolves went through her to get to us.”

He smiles, nodding. “I’m glad to see you caring for much for your younger sister, Diamond.” He looks to Spoiled. “Dear, do you really want to go on your own? It would be much more fun if you stayed?”

I have to hold back my snickers at the hidden rage Spoiled’s trying to prevent Daddy from seeing. With him right there, she can’t give a reason why Diamond shouldn’t go. She can't pressure her. And, if she went on her own, we wouldn’t have to deal with her tonight. It was a win for Diamond and myself no matter what she did.

After several moments, she huffed. “Fine, darling. You and the girls can remain. However, I, at least, must make sure our name does not have a chance of being besmirched.”

Plus, her being on her own gives her free rein to badmouth me. I bet she 'll love that.

___________________________________________________________

“It’s surprisingly quiet,” Silver Sterling says as he passes around mugs of hot chocolate.

Daddy gave the staff the night and day off, since it’s Hearth’s Warming.

We’re all sitting in the living room, wearing Hearth’s Warming jumpers. I thank Silver’s dad as he passes me mine.

"I'd say that's a good thing," Daddy sighs, setting down a try with some ginger bread and shortbread. "Hearth's Warming's always been so hectic the last few years, I forgot how nice it is to just have a quiet one."

“Feeling any better, Screwball?”Silver asks me, looking up from her own mug.

I nod, massaging my head gently. “Yeah. Still don’t think I’ll be using my magic again til at least tomorrow, though.”

“Thanks again, sis,” Diamond says, holding up the glass sculpture of us and Daddy.

I nod, smiling. She gave me a photo casing with golden edges encrusted with diamonds. I plan on putting the picture of us winning the Sister Hooves Social in it.

“It’s a shame your mother couldn’t be here, too,” Daddy says as he joins us on the rug.

Silverspeed just chuckles. “She chose to go to that fancy party, Rich. Her loss, if you ask me.”

“Smile.” Silver, Diamond and I turn just in time to be blinded by a flash. When it fades, Silver dad is holding a camera, smiling.

“Our girls all just look so cute together, don’t they?” Silver’s mother coos.

Silver groans, facehoofing, whilst Diamond and I just giggle.

I glance out the window and see, far off in Canterlot, a bright, pinkish-purple light. The Hearth’s Warming Friendship-Fire heart.

I look around at the small group, my family (save Spoiled) and Silver’s. All together, just enjoying a quiet Hearth’s Warming together.

I smile, closing my eyes, feeling at peace. Best Hearth’s Warming ever.