Shellstrings

by shortskirtsandexplosions

Don't Get Sucked Into The...

"Okay, I give up," Betsy grumbled, eyeing a craggy ceiling of uneven soil and exposed roots looming above her in the manalight. "Where in the blue hell are we?"

"I'm glad that you asked that!" Bon Bon cleared her throat, stood on her hindquarters, then spun around dramatically in the center of a subterranean chamber full of ramshackle science equipment. "Welcome... to the Sweetie Hole."

The Sweetie Hole

Bon Bon waited until the echoes of her exclamation had died out before flashing the rhinoceros a cheeky grin.

Betsy snorted. "I don't know what I should hit you for harder... the shittiness of that name or the fact that you actually seem to take some meager pride in it."

"Oh, go soak your fat horny head." Bon Bon dropped back to all fours. "I figured you of all of my former agent buddies would dig that."

"Don't presume to capture the genius inside my skull," Betsy droned. "It will deflower you, girl. I mean it." She made a wrinkly face at all of the rusted lab equipment that was barely humming to life. "Where in Tartarus did you rake all of this crud up? A washed-out L Ron Haybard convention?"

"Look, the money I got when I left the League was scarcely enough to eke out a living above ground in Ponyville," Bon Bon said. She dusted off a radar monitor—only for the screen to fall off. Grimacing, she fumbled to put the machine back together, chuckling nervously. "I've... uh... had to make do with my monthly earnings. St-still... it's been more than sufficient for my needs!"

"I thought you were attempting to lay-low."

"Yeah, well... once a part of S.M.I.L.E.... always a part of S.M.I.L.E."

"Sure, whatever." Betsy sat on a metal chair—only to crush it. Crunch! "Though, from the looks of it, Secret Agent Sweetie Drops has learned to settle for Ginormous Recess of Idiotic Nick-Nacks."

"Scoff all you want!" Bon Bon tilted her nose up. "When the timestream got broken a month ago, I was the first one to detect it with my very own Chronoton Detector!" She slapped a wobbly centrifuge to her right. "Not even Dr. Whooves had an edge on that!"

"Wait... what?" Betsy blinked. "The timestream... got broken?"

Bon Bon shuddered. "It's a very long story."

"What's with all of the dangly roots up above?" Betsy asked. "We're not beneath the Everfree Forest, are we? That would really chap my caboose."

"No no no... this burrow was here long before I moved in," Bon Bon explained. "In fact, it used to be the basement for a very precious landmark called the 'Golden Oaks Library.'" She sighed. "Until several months ago, that is."

"No kidding?"

"As a matter of fact, Princess Twilight Sparkle once set up shop in here."

"And here I thought you dug this latrine out yourself, girl."

"I've had a lot of time on my hooves, Betsy," Bon Bon said. "I can't say the same about shovels."

"Well... all things considered... it's a damn marvel for operating on a shoestring budget."

"Eheheh..." Bon Bon rubbed the back of her head. "You know me." She gulped. "I'm a sucker for strings."

"What?"

"N-never mind."

"Soooooooo..." Betsy squinted. "Nopony else knows about this place?"

"Only two souls are aware that it's currently in use." Bon Bon's gaze hardened. "You and yours truly."

"I'd be flattered if it didn't smell so much like rotting mushrooms—and not the good kind."

"Anyways... this place is soundproof to any villager of Ponyville who may be trotting above," Bon Bon said. "So... this should be a good place to let it all out."

"Let what all out?"

Bon Bon blinked crookedly. "...all this crud about Chief Agent Horizons and the privatization of S.M.I.L.E.!"

"Look, Sweetie Drops... ain't much more to yap on about!" The rhinoceros sighed. "Every time the agents and I throw a question her way, Horizons gets all taciturn. It's almost like she's trying to spring a surprise on us at the last second."

"Hmmmm..." Bon Bon rubbed her chin in thought. "That's not like her."

"My thoughts exactly!" Betsy belched. "The Horizons we know and love to hate does everything by the book! Made your Pops look like a buckin' pirate!"

"Uh huh..."

"If there was a massive change to the management of the League... I'd expect her to give us far more information and preparation than this!"

"You don't suppose... she's been replaced?" Bon Bon murmured.

"By what?" Betsy raised an eyebrow. "A changeling?"

Bon Bon nodded. "Well?"

"A changeling wouldn't know which signal to contact the other agents."

"It could if it tortured Horizons for the information."

"Impossible. Horizons would make love to a cyanide pill."

"Maybe... something got into her headspace?"

"Our Horizons? The mare with a labyrinthine hedge maze for an imagination? I've played chess with her, Sweetie Drops. Those pawns nearly exploded in my face from that bitch's sheer brainpower!"

"Well, you're not really leading us to any conclusions with this, Betsy."

"That's 'cuz I had one before I even waltzed in here!"

"Yeah? And?" Bon Bon folded her forelimbs. "I'm listening."

Betsy leaned forward, jaws clenched. "I think the management has already shifted. I don't think Horizons is in charge anymore." She slowly shook her horn. "Whoever is... they've reduced Horizons to a pawn."

"You think her hooves are tied by bureaucracy?"

"Exactly."

"But after Horizons opened up to the Royal Sisters, something like this would have to have been authorized by the Monarchy."

"You say that as if it excuses anything." Betsy's nostrils flared. "For years—Sweetie Drops—the League has operated like a well-oiled bicycle. We didn't need to answer to nopony. But now? If the League's being thrown into some fat cat's pocket, then kiss that oil goodbye. And the bicycle seat as well! I'm talking about a rusted bike straight up your plot! Do we really want our grandfoals to squirt out the womb with tetanus?"

"Alright. Two things." Bon Bon held up a hoof. "One: your analogies suck ass."

"Thanks, babe."

"Two." Bon Bon sighed. "Equestria's changing, Betsy. It's got more to do with monsters on the run from their Tartarusian prison cells." Her blue eyes narrowed. "Princess Luna's returned. Discord the Chaos Lord had a reign of terror... and has since reformed. The Elements of Harmony were wielded... personified... and then absorbed back into the Everfree Forest... all within the span of two years!"

"You're forgetting the partridge in a pear tree."

"What I'm saying is that the laws of monster hunting don't apply in the same way they used to. There's been... so many shifts in the balance of harmony and chaos..." Bon Bon gulped. "If the League is to re-form... who knows what role we're supposed to take anymore? Or if any!"

"Hrmmmfff..." Betsy leaned back with a frown. "Sounds like somepony has gotten used to living a simple, peaceful, cinnamon baking life."

Bon Bon glared. "I have not once given up my conviction as a reserve member of the League." Her teeth clenched. "It's the same conviction that my father died for. You think I'm in any position to forsake that?"

Betsy opened her mouth to say something... but the rhinoceros ultimately bowed her head. "No. I suppose you're not."

"Thanks for proving to me that you're actually more than just a meathead."

"But still..." Betsy glanced up, squinting one eye. "...seems like Chief Agent Horizons could use some convincing on your behalf."

"Yeah..." Bon Bon brushed her bangs aside with a sigh. "It seems her attitude towards me hasn't changed since we last talked. If nothing else..." She leaned back against a humming piece of equipment. "...she seems more intent to omit me from the League altogether."

"I'd find it sentimental if it weren't so stupid," Betsy grunted. "But, the way I figure it, we can punch a hole through the wool she's thrown over our eyes."

"Huh?" Bon Bon looked up. "What does that mean?"

"As far as we know, you haven't been summoned through your sound stone."

"Right..."

"So... imagine the look on that crazy unicorn's face if you showed up to the first meeting uninvited?"

Bon Bon blinked. "Wouldn't that be a tad bit dangerous, not knowing Horizons' new connections?"

"If I recall correctly, you used to like danger," Betsy said with a smirk.

"Actually, I enjoyed surviving dangers." Bon Bon sighed. "But... I suppose I have gotten a bit... docile."

"Hrmmmf... I'll say!" Betsy looked around with a fat chuckle. "And lazy too! Look at this dump, girl! I mean..." She grabbed a completely random item: a framed picture of a stupidly grinning unicorn. "...you haven't even cleaned up all the junk the previous hole-dwellers left here!" And the rhino carelessly tossed the fragile frame behind her.

"No—!" Bon Bon grimaced, already throwing herself forward at full speed. With incredible finesse, the Ponyville confectioner vaulted over the nearest table, swung on Betsy's horn, propelled herself across the room, and forward-flipped in a peach blur. She snatched the picture frame in tender hooves just seconds before it could shatter on the ground. Grunting, the earth pony landed in a nimble slide. It took a few breathless seconds for the dust to settle, and then the mare sighed—clutching the photo tightly to her chest.

"Well, shiet..." Betsy merely smirked. "Looks like you've still got some spring in your step, kid!"

"Will you knock it off?!" Bon Bon twirled to face her, snarling.

Betsy leaned back, eyes wide.

At last, Bon Bon calmed down. Shuddering, she trotted over and placed the picture frame neatly atop the table where the rhino had previously snatched it from. A dumb smile crossed her muzzle as she brushed a few flakes of dirt off the frame's edges. "Next time, Betsy... ask before you randomly decide to desecrate things that are precious to me."

"You call a lime-colored idiot with jaundice-for-eyes 'precious?'"

"Her name is Lyra," Bon Bon growled. Just as swiftly, she pouted. "And I happen to like the color of her eyes."

"Uh ohhhhhhh..." Betsy stood up with a grunt, smiling. "Somepony's got the hots for plots!"

"Shuddup!" Bon Bon's cheeks went red. "It's... n-not like that!" She cleared her throat—producing one too many squeaks in the process. "She's... just my best friend, that's all."

"Uh huh." Betsy shuffled over. "And I'm actually not a rhinoceros; just a fat unicorn who lost all her fur."

"Betsy..."

"Honestly, girl!" Betsy pointed at the picture frame. "She's the real reason you chose this smidgen of hickdom on the Map of Equestria to make a life for yourself, huh?"

"It... seemed to be an unassuming enough place to hide out from the Bug Bear." Bon Bon gulped. "At least at first..."

"And after it became a hot spot for Lord Tirek and chaotic bullshit?" Betsy shrugged. "Why didn't you pull out then?"

Bon Bon bit her lip.

"I see." Betsy smirked. "So... what's her mane smell like?"

"I'm telling you... it's not like that!" Bon Bon rasped. "I... f-found her not long after I was discharged on the day of my father's death." She gulped. "Lyra... was a victim of Queen Chrysalis' mind control. She was... hurt... emotionally leeched... and very, very distraught over all the crud she endured that day. I gave her a shoulder to lean on, and almost instantly she started feeling better." Bon Bon sighed, gazing quietly beyond the picture frame. "That feeling of usefulness... of unconditional trust... I-I guess it was just the thing I needed to keep going." She took a deep breath, standing tall. "I made a full commitment to protect her with all of my might ever since."

"Yeah? How's that worked out for you?"

"We... uh..." Bon Bon smiled bashfully. "We're roommates now."

"That bad, huh?"

"Betsy... we're sane mares living sane lives. I give her space and she does the same for me in turn. Why... ever since the tragic events in Canterlot, she's been attending regular therapy sessions with her friends—who were also victims of Chrysalis."

"I don't suppose I could meet this girl?"

Bon Bon simply glared at her.

"Yeah, I get it." Betsy smirked. "If I had a rhino co-worker, I wouldn't want my other friends to meet her either."

"It's not that, Betsy. I've made a whole-hearted attempt at being exclusively Bon Bon around Lyra." She cleared her throat. "Sweetie Drops is another story altogether."

"So, she doesn't know a thing about S.M.I.L.E., right?"

Bon Bon's ears instantly drooped. She paled... sweating through every pore. "Uhhhhh—"

The squinty-eyed rhino failed to see it. "Good! Cuz your old stallion would have your neck for being so careless!"

"Eh heh heh heh heh heh..." Bon Bon wheezed through a smile. "...tell me about it."

"Smart girl."

"Anyways... even if I wanted to introduce you to her, I couldn't at the moment," Bon Bon said.

"Oh?"

"You know those therapy sessions that I mentioned earlier?" Bon Bon looked up with a smirk. "Lyra's spending the day in Canterlot with her old friends right now as we speak... dishing out her heartfelt feelings to their loyal psychiatrist. See? The mare knows how to take care of herself." Bon Bon beamed. "And I couldn't be any prouder..."

Comments

[Skeeter The Lurker]

"Her name is Lyra,"

I was totally expecting that name to be written in green.

~Skeeter The Lurker

[QueenMoriarty]

So, um, why the random spoiler tags?

[PropMaster]

Completely randomly.

[Razzy]

Oooooh, maybe changelings have already infiltrated most of the administration, government and military and then they'll execute order 66 and murder all these ponies!

[FloydienSlip]

Is there a reason for the spoiler tags that I'm not seeing?

[Metal Aura]

This comment might be a bit late, but in the spirit of over reacting the TV is definitely a changeling.

[Hap]

"I figured you of all of my former agent buddies would dig that."

Ooooooh, you.

7350476 was wondering that my own self.

[Scorch215]

Wow they finally called their group of not very effective black ops soldiers by its actule name. Congrats.

Also Betsy love how you insult the town of one of Equestrians rulers, real smart there I see how Mich respect you have for the government of the people you are trying to protect.
7351003

Bet you it would be some random guard or other character distinctly not the character this story was said to be about that fights then off or uncovers it or something.

[Twilight Connor]

Randomly.