Shellstrings

by shortskirtsandexplosions

Filthy Imbalanced

"It is now going into the second week since a military band of Yaks from Yakyakistan infiltrated the Mirror Caverns located north of the Crystal Kingdom's Capital and held a group of ponies against their will."

Manehattan - Manehattan Daily News Headquarters – Ground Floor Studio

An attractive earth pony mare with a short-short blonde mane and sea-blue eyes sat at a desk. She stared into a large camera aimed at her from across a news studio while several members of the television crew stood out of frame. A stallion wearing headphones shuffled and held up large, bold cue cards, and the anchorpony read the text as she continued with the broadcast.

"The twenty-four crystal ponies—twenty-two of which are young schoolfoals around the ages of seven and eight—were visiting the famous Natural Wonder for a field trip from the Noble Crystalline Academy when twelve armored yaks wandered into the Mirror Caverns unannounced, overwhelmed security, and sealed the entrance to the caves off from the outside world. For eight days since, the yaks have refused to leave the location or relinquish their hold of the crystal pony children and their chaperones.

"According to military aides representing the Crystal Imperial Defense Force, the yaks were patrolling the frozen northern wastes as part of a common Yakyakistanian ritual called 'Thunder Month,' which traditionally includes military sparring, yeti hunting, and the copious consumption of Ice Mead.

"When asked about a chance for a peaceful solution to the situation, Captain Shining Armor of the Crystal Imperial Defense Force was quoted as saying, 'Princess Cadance is making progress in appealing to the yak militants. The twenty-four hostages are in good health, and rest assured that we will have them reunited with their families soon.' According to our sources in the North Passage, the yaks are said to be demanding the reappropriation of several acres of agricultural territory to Yakyakistanian sovereignty. When questioned on the topic, representatives at the Yakyakistanian Embassy here in Manehattan denounced the actions of the twelve yak militants, stating 'Yaks don't make wars with non-yaks who are weaker than yak-yaks.'"

At the culmination of this bit, the stallion in headphones flipped to a new card. In hastily scribbled red ink, the posterboard red: "Commercial Break."

The anchorpony at the desk opened her muzzle... but fumbled for words. She blinked, then glanced down at her hooves. A sheet of paper in her grasp featured a typewritten news story that was yet to be read.

"And... uhm..."

She fidgeted... fidgeted some more... than put on a bright smile.

"...now a word from our sponsor!" Her cheeks twitched a bit in attempting to maintain the grin.

Members of the crew signaled one another. A hoof pointed. A second.

Then the green light above the main camera switched to red.

"Alright! Eight minutes!" The studio director trotted briskly to the desk. "Brilliant, Satin! You nailed it! Like... whammo! Torpedo'd right in the keister!"

"Yeah... uhm... just call me 'Ms. Cinders,' please," the mare said. Two mares rushed up from off-set with makeup and she shoo'd them away. "I'm good! Scram!" She cleared her throat and faced the stage director once more. "Uhm... Mike. Why'd we go to commercial break?"

"Well, as you know, Dr. Pony is our chief sponsor and if we don't give them their eight minute segments on the hour, then—PLOW! There goes our funding!"

"Mike..." Satin Cinders frowned. A tiny golden strand of hair dangled over her brow and she swiftly brushed it back in place with her hoof. "Onomatopoeia aside... it's almost looking as though the story on the Manehattan gambling ring busts has been removed."

"Oh. That's because it has!" Mike grinned from ear to ear. "Scrkkkk! Had to rip it out! That slot went to the Yakyakistanian situation! Eheheh..."

"Mike, I worked hard on that story."

"I don't see why you should." Mike blinked. "Isn't this new gig of yours working out a lot more nicely?"

"This 'gig' was forced on me," Satin Cinders huffed. "I'm only doing it until we find a prettier face."

"Ain't no face in Manehattan prettier than you."

"Look—just tell me why the segment was cut."

"Do you think I know the reason for that?"

She glared. "Sometimes I wonder if you even know how to button your collar."

"Ouch."

"Whose big idea was this, anyways?" Satin Cinders folded her forelimbs. "Because I don't see how playing a clip of caffeinated beverages being poured into cups at slow speed is somehow more important than the gambling and drug trade being exposed here in Manehattan."

"Well, you're going to have to work your way upstairs for answers, babe."

Satin Cinders sighed as the blonde strand dangled loosely again. "Let me guess..."

---

Manehattan - Manehattan Daily News Headquarters – Fortieth Floor – Executive Office – Thirty Minutes Later

"I'll tell you why we cut it." A zebra spun about in his desk chair and scowled. "Because it's a crock of shit!"

"Bleed... come on..." Satin Cinders stood before his desk, frowning. Beyond the glass walls of the office, countless ponies squatted at cubicles, answering phones and hammering away at typewriters. "Don't insult me like this. I've worked just as hard on this story as I have on all the others for this agency. Have I ever let you down before?"

"You shouldn't be working hard anymore. It'll ruin your perfect smile," the zebra grunted, rummaging through early drafts of news articles laid across his desk. "We just now began our multimedia broadcasting division. Television is the wave of the Equestrian future, and it needs a pretty face to get all the miserable shit across. That shit-coverer is you."

"I only agreed to be the anchorpony because you wouldn't choose anypony else!" Satin Cinders exclaimed. "Let's face it—you coerced me!"

"Darling, there ain't nopony else for the job," Bleed replied. "You ever looked in the mirror lately? You'd drop Princess Cadance dead at a beauty contest anyday."

"So, what?!" Satin Cinders huffed. "I'm just to... hoof in my journalistic career for being a cheesy grin on a black and white metal box from here to Ragneighrok?! If I knew that this was the sort of nonsense I'd be in for, I'd never have agreed!"

"You seemed to agree pretty damn quick when you saw the pay raise," Bleed grunted.

Satin bit her lip. "I've... been going through a rough patch financially..."

"Join the club." Bleed flipped through more editorials. "Look, Satin—"

"Ms. Cinders."

"Don't get snippy with me. We've worked together for far too long." Bleed cleared his throat. "If you wanna get anywhere in this business, you need to stampede in the direction that the bits take you. You're a young mare with a hell of a lot of talent... so why not take the easy road when it's paved for you?" He gestured with an unshorn fetlock. "For years, you've pursued all of these... hard-hitting conspiratorial angles... and just where has it gotten you? I'd say take this prissy anchorprincess opportunity and run with it."

"My leads are not 'conspiratorial.' I have substantial sources!" Cinders exclaimed. "And they all lead to a very disconcerting pattern right here in Manehattan!" She pointed out the windows. "Someone or something is making ponies disappear in those dirty streets! Every time a gambling ring is busted... the names of missing citizens pile up! I think there's someone in the rafters pulling the strings of everything that's corrupt in Manehattan, and if we can just figure out who it is... then maybe crime will drop significantly in this city! Sharing this with the Equestrian public will build awareness and lead to change! Wouldn't that be a good thing?"

"You talk as though you're expecting the viewing audience to be a bunch of white knights and not the drooling morons that they really are," Bleed said. "Ponies don't watch television to see justice served, Satin. They wanna hear about dramatic bullshit and then have their mouth water over Dr. Pony."

"So... you believe me, then?" Cinders squinted. "There is some sort of organized crime ring haunting this city. You just don't want to cover it because there's no profit in doing the right thing."

"Don't be so moronic!" Bleed spat. "This is journalism! I wouldn't be in this business if I wasn't a saint underneath!"

Just then, the door opened and a stallion stuck his head in. "Mr. Reads! Sorry for interrupting, but I figured you might want to know that we got Professor Farrier from Canterlot University signed up for Tuesday."

"Great!" Bleed said. "Pay him five hundred bits in advance and make sure that he commits to spending thirty minutes talking down Princess Celestia's latest health care reforms."

"Got it, chief." And the stallion rushed back out.

Satin Cinders blanched. "We... only broadcast one slot per day! What's with the opinion segment? It's not like we're airing twenty-four hours!"

Bleed pointed. "There will come a time. You'll see." A black and white smirk. "A stallion can dream, can't he?"

"At least someone's entitled," Satin huffed. "You're going to air this story of mine, chief. Sooner than later."

"Oh blow it out your pretty ear. You wanna save the world? Move back into the print department." Bleed waved her off as he spun around in his office chair. "It's one hell of a downgrade, though. And considering your... 'financial situation...'"

Satin sighed, shuffling towards the door. "Yeah. Thanks. Great. Nice to know you're on my side, chief."

"You're welcome. Just saving your butt, is all." Bleed snorted. "Heroes don't end up rich, Satin. And as for Manehattan? Yeah... it's crooked. Filthy too. Don't need to turn on the news to figure that out. Just open the window."

---

Satin Cinders slumped into the chair at her desk.

She sighed.

Pivoting about, she gazed lethargically out her office window.

The Manehattan skyline loomed in glinting urban brilliance. Zeppelins puttered in the distance while ships rolled in and out of the harbor.

Satin Cinders stared and stared. At last, her lips moved: "Just who has you in their pocket, chief?"

Slowly, she gazed up at a bulletin board chock-full of photographs and news clippings that made up a complex diorama of crime scenes, murder statistics, and questionable figureheads. At least a dozen grim-faced stallion businessponies peered down at her, all tied together with a near-schizophrenic webwork of red string... only there was no center to the frenetic geometry.

"I wish everything was as simple as pointing out mead-thirsty yaks," she murmured. "Or perhaps I just need to get deeper in the filth."

Another sigh, and she opened a drawer to her desk. In it, a gold-framed newspaper rested. It featured "Satin Cinders" as the editor, and the headline read: "Princess of Friendship Defeats Lord Tirek – Equestrian Magic Restored."

The mare brushed a string of blonde hair back over her brow as she bore a bittersweet smile. "Or perhaps the problem is... the only real heroes are so far away...?"

Her eyes rested on the smiling image of a lavender alicorn...

Comments

[fourths]

Looks like another character for our cast, though I'm curious to see how she'll be related/important. I mean, I guess having a journalist with an affinity for doing the right thing could give you the upper hand in some situations.

[RoboRed]

Hooraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay media.

[QueenMoriarty]

Who's big idea was this,

Whose, I think.

'financial situation...'

Feel like the end quotation mark could be shifted to before the ellipsis.

And now the Shell has her journalistic eye on the inside!

[Life Beat]

7346997 episode 100 "slice of life"

[Aurora Dimmet]

Television. The problem is it's controlled by the media here instead of the Crown. They'd destroy things that are good for them just for money and to spite Celestia. And people will listen because it'll be crafted to be appealing to people who are ignorant. It will sound acceptable, agreeable to them, and match up with what little they already know.

How any of them can expect to see more clearly and far-reaching than a thousands-of-years old benevolent being who has cultured and guided the greatest minds of each generation is just beyond me. There's a reason why five year-olds don't profess to be more experienced and understanding than forty year-olds. So why these grifters with someone older and more proven than their entire family line? Ugh!

The world needs a hero, a hero who isn't too busy saving the world - to save a few cities, one person at a time.

[AskWaffles]

Wait, is she one of the S.M.I.L.E agents?

[Skeeter The Lurker]

So now we have the one who'll go after Shell...

~Skeeter The Lurker

[Razzy]

Shell sure is taking her damn time to appear.

[Kind of Brony]

At this point, I don't think shortskirtsandexplosions actually reads comics. If they did, then they would know that comics don't do this. They don't have fifty issues building the world before the hero even comes on the scene. The Hero is on the scene at the start.
Seriously, Was Spider Man not in the first issue of his series? Was he twenty issues in? Thirty? No, he was there from the start straight from page one. That's always how it is. You get the hero first and the origins later.
I'm not saying Shellstrings had to follow the comic-mold exactly, but it's an undeniable truth that the hero should have been introduced way, waaay earlier than they are going to be. If they are going to be. Since they aren't supposed to be around until act three, it's going to be an unbearably long wait.
At this point, despite being well-written and with good characters, I'm starting to think this story deserves a downvote for just how truly awful the pacing is. It's frustratingly slow, and intentional or not, that is a very bad thing. A bad thing that could have easily been avoided had the story utilized flash-backs or cutaways so we could have got the hero earlier and break up this force-feeding of supposedly relevant information. And the knowledge that this ungodly long exposition is going to go on for dozens of more chapters practically kills any interest I have for the work.

I'll real for as many chapters I can stomach, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to hold out if we don't get to the main story soon. shortskirtsandexplosions, please skip ahead or something, because I know I'm not the only reader getting tired of this.

[may12345]

7343262
Build-up and setting the stage shouldn't take the length of a novel to pull off. This is like if you read a synopsis on the back of the book about a soldier going to war and being a badass, but the first 300 pages ended up being that soldier's parents meeting, falling in love, having children, falling on hard times, the mother passing away, and the soldiers hard childhood with an alcoholic father and raising two younger siblings before he joins the military at eighteen. It would be bad.
7344130
I bet the constant single downvote hitting every comment pointing out the bad pacing is actually shortskirtsandexplosions being salty. It's a shame they are too big a writer to actually reply to any of their peasant-readers in the comments. Would be nice to get their side of the argument on how they think this is a good way to do things.

[Booster Spice]

Wonder where Flim an Flam are with all this TV snake oil stuff. I mean, with their technical side I can see them coming up with good ideas, but with their overeagerness for money and pushing for acceptance, it will be one good idea surrounded by a dumpster of rubbish. Others will be taking the good ideas, climing them, and making money out of them.

Rough news.

[FanOfMostEverything]

I'd say Manehattan crime rings would qualify as dramatic. I suppose they aren't sufficiently bullshit to meet Bleed's standards. I wonder if Satin Ms. Cinders could run an exposé on herself...

[Derpmind]

7347918

My guess is that this story may be written a bit spontaneously, without a normal overarching narrative structure. The prologue was two extended backstories, and I wouldn't be surprised if the next few chapters are more non-sequitur interludes. No offense to Skirts, I'm a firm believer that unconventional storytelling stuff can always work if done well, but I'm fairly certain I've never seen a story or book go anywhere near as long 'building up to' the main story. According to the internet, the average wordcount for a physical page in a novel is 250-ish. That would make this story about 166 pages long so far. It's harder to notice online, but that's a lot of reading without a clear (and compelling) connecting thread to tie it all together. Each individual piece is well written, (to put it simply,) but I'm not gonna be the last one to say that the pieces just aren't being put in the right order here. (Well, they're probably the only pieces that are actually written so far, but still.)

7347949

I wouldn't go around making rude accusations like that. Fimfiction is on the internet; there's plenty of jerks around who'll downvote a bunch without saying a word as to why. And if you haven't noticed, there are way more than one person throwing around downvotes in this story's comments. Without any actual evidence or whatever, there's little reason to think it's the author's fault.

Also, I downvoted your comment because you were rude. Is that not evil of me?

[Bubbler]

Journal Entry 3
Log Date: 15 Chapters in
Status: Promised Plot Yet to Be Delivered
Analysis: Just fucking switch to Lyra's POV and we'll be fine. Just switch to the character people clicked this story to read about. That's literally all you have to do.

Also, and this is super important, so pay attention. You should have started with the last chapter. These last two chapters are the only time throughout this whole story where I feel like you're actually building to the main plot. Everything else before that could have been handled in a flashback down the road, or a prologue story, or literally anything but the introduction to this story. You introduced television, you introduce world conflict and crime, you introduce news stations, and you introduce a reporter who yearns for hard hitting stories and some degree of moral backbone. That's a damn good way to start a superhero story. It should have been the way you started yours.

But, as I promised, I will not be dropping this story until chapter 30 comes and the plot hasn't started. The writing is good, the world is interesting, and if skirts would just get to the plot, nobody would have any reason to complain.

[The_K_Man]

They wanna hear about dramatic bullshit and then have their mouth water over Dr. Pony."

It almost sounds like projecting. :)

I'm curious to how many potential character groups/story arcs are planned to be in parallel. We got s.m.i.l.e.drops, the satin reporter, and a potential cape with strings attached. My initial impressions are positive. And if I'm right, this'll be a great ride.
Though, I'm enjoying the world-building/context-construction so far. SS&E, enjoy all the tears to come.

[zaponator]

I wonder if she's going to attempt to become a superhero herself. I could see it, but I could also see her just being the justice-fueled journalist character too.

Either way, I'm loving this story so far. Lots of interesting characters and lots of plots being set up. It's gonna be a long, fun ride.

[Metal Aura]

It's not like we're airing twenty-four hours!

The story suddenly becomes Anchorpony 2.

[Hap]

The last chapter was a snoozefest. This chapter?

This was good stuff.

A zebra newsroom chief named Bleed Reads? He's "black and white and red all over?" I love it.

I can hear the typewriters and smell the cigars.

Also... crime syndicate that's making citizens disappear? Changeling alert!

[AppleTank]

Get me pictures. Pictures of Shellstrings!

[Scorch215]

7347852 agreed it is getting annoying.

[8542Madness]

7469418

From what I've seen of your comments so far, you seem to exist only to complain. Do us all a favor and shut up about it and go away if it really is devastating your life so much. Skirts likes to have very, very long stories with lots of details and fully developed worlds and backstories. That's one of the reasons I think he's among the best authors on the site. If you don't care for that so much then that's fine, but don't annoy everyone else in nearly every single chapter's comments.

I really hope that as I continue reading my eyes will not have to suffer more of your childish whining.

[High_Fidelity]

7408561 right? I was expecting a bellow for 'PARRRKERRRR!!!!'