• Published 26th Jun 2016
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Shellstrings - shortskirtsandexplosions



After freakish happenstance turns Lyra Heartstrings and Queen Chrysalis into a symbiotic being, they find themselves putting their superpowers to heroic use in an ever-changing Equestria.

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The Curious Case of Lemon Hearts

Outskirts of Appleloosa – Tree Hugger's Cabin – Front Stoop

"Ow ow ow!" Lyra gnashed her teeth. At last, the telekinesis tugging her dissipated, and she stumbled to an awkward stop, frowning at the author of her fumbling exit. "At least wait for a referee before you try to pin me, yeesh!"

"Shut up!" Lemon Hearts hissed.

"What's the big idea of—?!"

"Just... Shut. Up!" Lemon Hearts shook in place, her back to the closed front door of the cabin. "Don't you ever... ever turn off?!"

"I'm sorry. I think I left my battery compartment back home." Lyra squinted at the furious mare. "Lemmy, what's gotten into you?!"

"What's gotten into me?!" Lemon Hearts gasped incredulously, waving a hoof at the cabin. "What's gotten into you?!" Her ears folded back as she hissed, "I thought we agreed that you were going to behave!"

"Behave at what?!" Lyra scowled. "You call this a therapy session!? Lemmy, that pony in there is a hack! A total airheaded scam artist! I'm telling you, the most official her 'technique' could ever get is with an Ink Blunt Test!"

"She was especially chosen by Dr. Shrinkenfurter—"

"And you think that's supposed to make any of it better?!" Lyra's muzzle hung agape. "Lemmy, I've always known that crackpot in Canterlot Central was a bit-guzzling floozy, but this takes the cake! I mean... sending us out here in the middle of bum-buck nowhere and expecting us to bleed water from a mental stone with the aid of a hippy who's seen more stars at the bottom of a bong than in the middle of a planetarium—grnnngh..." Lyra spat. "She's high as a kite, Lemon Hearts! I mean, one moment she's making us mentally pretend we're bugs—which is stupidly triggering on its own—and then she's suddenly tossing the whole planner out the window and making us embrace spirit animals that aren't spirit animals—"

"She's helping us relax and get in touch with our inner psyche—"

"Lemon, she's flying by the seat of her saddle and she's taking us along for the ride! She doesn't care if we get better or not! She's just winging it—and she's wasting all our good time and money in the process because she's too stoned to care!" Lyra pointed with a frown. "And you know it!"

"How dare you..." Lemon Hearts frowned. "After all the promises you made to play nice." She fumed, shaking in place. "Now you're going to just sabotage it all like you always do—"

"What's to sabotage?! Lemon..." Lyra took a bold step forward. "Twinkleshine was in tears over the whole 'be a mental bug' garbage that we were forced through yesterday!"

"Since when?!"

"Since this morning!" Lyra's brow furrowed. "I had to hold her close and play some soothing music just to get her to stop shivering in panic!"

Lemon Hearts blinked. She turned to look back at the cabin. "But... but I hadn't been told about this at all..."

"Maybe because we were trying not to make a scene!" Lyra gritted her teeth. "Maybe because we had a teensy bit of faith that something good would come out of this counseling session with Miss Huff-It-All. But nooooooooo... it's just one big stupid spiral! And how long do you think Twinkleshine's gonna last with that crazy yuppy at the helm? Or Minuette for that matter? I'm telling you, it's a disaster! You gotta be blind not to see what a friggin' absurd waste this whole thing is!"

Lemon Hearts sighed. She rubbed her forehead heavily. "... ... ...would it kill you to have a bit more faith, Lyra?"

Lyra blinked. "Huh?"

"Twinkleshine and Minuette are a lot stronger than you think... and they've been through the wringer a lot more than you know." Lemon Hearts gulped. "If you could only stand to give Tree Hugger a chance... like they are... then it might not be so 'absurd' in the end."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this." Lyra leaned forward, barking, "Who replaced all of my Canterlot friends with idiots?!"

"We were your friend friends, Lyra. Or at least..." Lemon Hearts frowned at her. "I thought we were. But you gave up on us long ago, didn't you?"

"Of all the times to play this card..."

"If only you had stuck it out as I had!" Lemon Hearts gnashed her teeth. "All these months! All these doctor visits! Then you would know... you would understand that some absurdities are risks that are worth taking!"

"Lemmy—"

"You would understand what it means to heroically bear the burden for your friends!"

Lyra hollered, "Lemon Hearts, stop making your friends go to therapy for you!"

Lemon Hearts jolted back as if struck with a bullet. Her features instantly paled... ears drooping and muzzle agape.

Lyra stared at her, panting.

Tense silence washed over the desert.

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