//------------------------------// // Whelp, Thanks for Stepping Up, Spike // Story: It's A Screwed Up Life // by Autum Breeze //------------------------------// Whelp, Thanks for Stepping Up, Spike ___________________________________________________________ “So, what’s on my to-do list?” I ask, a list poofing in front of me and scrolling down it. “Bonked Twilight on the head to remind her to let Starlight do her own thing so she didn’t end up getting certain ponies hopes up for nothing and make them feel a bit bad? Check. “Congratulated Dash on finally becoming a full-fledged Wonderbolt? Check. Went back in time to kick that asshole Flint Heart in the nuts while wearing a platinum boot for crushing a filly’s heart simply because she was taking one day off of studying to enjoy the holiday like everypony else, yet he treated her like she’d be nothing because of wanting to have fun for just one day out of the whole year, nearly dooming Equestria to be bathed in a blanket of Eternal Snow? Check.” I sigh, turning the list into a cup of chocolate milk and gulping it down, glass and all. “With the girls and Spike helping Rarity get her new shop ready in Manehattan, things have been pretty quiet lately.” Help! Help! My Plane’s Gone, ’Elp! I start, flopping to the ground, deadpanning. That is the last time I let Pinkie choose what any of my alerts should sound like. Engie Benjy? Seriously? And did it really have to be that line, from that episode in particular? Poofing a button into existence next to me, I press it. At once, the walls of my room retract, revealing large, high tech computers, with huge monitor screens. The screens turn on, revealing Antennae and Spiracles, the former as a light-pink unicorn with a blanket for a Cutie Mark and the latter a bright green one with a pencil and teddy bear, looking worried as they try to calm down a large gaggle of terrified looking foals. I blink. What the…? I quickly teleport over to the Empire, but stop myself mid-teleport, resulting in my appearing in the middle of one of the Empire’s town squares. I can’t believe I was almost so rude. I can’t just barge into their classroom and steal the show. I mean, yeah, I like doing that, but they’ve been good Changelings and don’t deserve me being rude to them. Wait, but other ponies I’m friends with do? I facepalm. Sometimes, I annoy myself. A sudden scream causes me to leap up and look around frantically. At least twenty Crystal Ponies are gathered around the square… all looking at me with fear? “That has to be it!” one mare yells, pointing. “It’s trying to fool us all!” a stallion yells. “It isn’t even right!” another mare yells. I deadpan before tossing my arms up. “Fine! I’ll go back to quadruped!” I grab my right arm with my left hand and yank it off at the shoulder, flip it round and reattach it, the hand sinking into my shoulder and merging with my body, leaving a hoof stump at the end of what was my arm, then repeat the process and drop to all fours. “Honestly, you try experimenting with different looks and everypony acts like you’re a monster. There! Happy now?!” The Crystal Ponies all stare for several moments, before all sighing with relief. “That’s the real Screwball. Thank Celestia,” one stallion chuckles, wiping his forehead. “Even it couldn’t have done that to itself,” a mare says, sounding relieved. “They can be able to look like anypony, but they can’t replicate the real Screwball’s ability to do something like that.” I blink. Wait. They weren’t complaining about the hands and biped stance? “Um, would somepony mind explaining just what’s going on here?” I ask, looking around. “I feel like I’m out of the loop.” As the Crystal Ponies explain, I understand why I got the alert. Apparently, a Changeling had been spotted near the Empire and everypony was on edge… though, from what they’re saying, it sounds like it’s a different Changeling. It’s none of the three I left here, which could mean Cheese Legs is finally making a move. I quickly scan the Empire… only to find it’s with Spike and… wait a second. I recognize this signature. That’s Thorax, the Changeling from Zecora’s village in that Changeling timeline Twilight, Spike and I ended up in. I can’t help but sigh with relief. If it’s Thorax and he’s anything like the one from that timeline, then Cheese Legs isn’t making a move at all. Thorax more than likely just couldn’t bear the Changeling lifestyle anymore and fled the hive and came back here to the Empire, remembering how much better it was here. “We weren’t even sure if Spike the Brave and Glorious was really him when he arrived with Princess Twilight this morning,” one mare says. I blink, before nodding in recognition. That’s right. Twilight and Starlight mentioned a few days ago that they’d be coming here to the Empire today to see how everypony was doing. “Whelp, I must be off now, everypony,” I give a salute. “I came to the Empire to speak with some acquaintances and I’ve delayed long enough.’ Everypony waves me off and I teleport right into the classroom, taking said acquaintances and the foals by surprise… and facehoof. I just did what I told myself not to do. Celestia, I’m hypocritical even to myself. “Now, everypony settle down,” Antennae says in calming tones. “Look who’s here.” The filly and colts all look to me. Taking the hint, I take off my beanie, holding it out, an explosion of confetti bursting from within, causing the foals to cheer and dance around. “Now, you all play nice while we speak with the Princess of Chaos, okay?” Antennae calls and the foals all nod in response. The two lead me out of the room, closing the door. “I got the alert and know what’s going on,” I say, looking between the two of them, before waving a hoof. “And we’ve nothing to worry about.” Antennae and Spiracles look surprised, before the latter looks to me with scrutiny. “And just how do we have nothing to worry about, exactly?” I shrug. “It’s Thorax.” They blink, before both sighing and laughing. “And here I was scared Chrysalis was trying to get an agent in here to take us out and replace us” Spiracles chuckles, wiping a tear from his eye. “Though it’s odd he didn’t stay back when Chrysalis left the Empire,” Antennae says, tapping a hoof to her chin. “Then again, I guess his brother forced him to come back.” She looks to the other disguised Changeling. “We should contact Coxa to see how he’s doing and let him know it’s just Thorax.” I frown, scanning the Empire, before smiling. “He’s okay. He’s teaching a class. Doesn’t seem any of you have been found out yet either.” The two suddenly blush, not meeting my eyes. I cock an eyebrow, before frowning. “What aren’t you two telling me?” There’s a long pause, before they both sigh. “The foals… know,” Antennae say, looking anywhere but at me. I blink, just staring for several moments, before cocking an eyebrow in confusion. “So… the foals found out and they’re okay with it? How? When did they find out?” She only blushes harder and hides her head in her forelegs. I look to her companion, who’s blushing too. “Well, you see,” he says, suddenly sounding more like a teenager ask talking about dating a girl for the first time, “after you let us stay we… kinda got together. We took some time and, eventually we… well… birds and bees, you know?” I think about what he said, before my eyes widen and I shake my head to dislodge that train of thought from the tracks. I do not need images of these two doing it in my mind. Antennae coughs. “I… ended up laying my egg during playtime and… unicorns don’t normally lay eggs, so…” I facehoof. “Yeah, even little foals can put two and two together there.” I look up at them. “And they didn’t mind?” “Well, luckily, they didn’t know much about the Changelings, so we were able to convince them there are those of us that are good,” Spiracles states. “We did ask them to promise not to tell their parents or anypony else, because we’d be in big trouble if others found out.” “Since then, most of our time with them, we’ve been out of disguise,” Antennae smiles. I cock an eyebrow. “But today?” “With security being so tight, we’re too anxious to be in our normal forms,” Spiracles shakes his head. I frown, tapping my chin, before I get a ping. Turning my head, I realize I sense Thorax is in the castle... and everypony seems to be surrounding him. “Okay, we need to move, now!” I say, grabbing them and teleporting, leaving copies of myself behind to watch over the kids. ___________________________________________________________ We arrive outside the throne room, where I can hear a commotion going on inside. The guards at the doors seem stunned by my sudden arrival, but quickly floating into the air makes them shut up about whether I’m a Changeling or not and I look to the my two tagalongs. “I’ll give you the signal for when to come in,” I glare at the guards, who tremble. “Anything happens to them while I’m in there and you’ll answer to me, got it?” They nod, gulping. As I teleport in, it’s to find Spike wrapping up a song about asking if day can turn to night and the darkness turn to light, why can’t we imagine a Changeling can change? Though I notice only Twilight, Starlight and a few of the guards seem to actually be taking what he’s saying to heart. There’s a pause, before Twilight steps forward, a warm smile on her face. “Spike, I’m so proud of you.” The other ponies give her looks of confusion. “You are?” Spike asks excitedly. She pulls him into a one legged hug. “Of course! You’re a celebrity here in the Crystal Empire and you just risked all of it for a friend. I can’t imagine anything more brave than that.” Well, risking his very life for him, maybe, but I won’t ruin the moment for them. Besides, yeah, gotta say I’m proud of the little guy for that too. Twilight turns to address the rest of the ponies. “As the Princess of Friendship, I try to set an example for all of Equestria. But, today, it was Spike who taught me that a new friend can come from anywhere.” She smiles sheepishly. “I guess everypony still has things they can learn about friendship, even me.” She turns and holds out a hoof to Thorax. “And if Spike says Thorax is his friend, then he’s my friend too.” Thorax smiles warmly, tears in his eyes as he takes the offered hoof. “Thank you.” “But… but he’s still a Changeling!” Shining Armour growls, causing the three to turn to the Captain of the Guard as he looked coldly towards the offspring of the one who’d impersonated his lover. “None of them have ever shown kindness before, so why should we believe he’s honest about not being with his Queen.” I give a loud cough, causing all attention to turn to me. “Screwball?” Twilight asks in surprise. “What are you doing here?” “It would seem making sure someponies actually learn from their mistakes,” I walk past her, looking firmly to Shining Armour. “Thorax isn’t the only Changeling who defected from Chrysalis’ rule.” He narrows his eyes. “And just how would you know that, Screwball? It’s not like Changelings could live in peace with us! You, who’ve mentioned how you feel about their queen, should know that better than anypony!” I put a hoof to my mouth and whistle. The doors open and Antennae and Spiracles walk in, looking around at the gathered group nervously. Thorax’s eyes widen as the two glance at him and smile. Being so close, he seems to have figured it out and the look of relief tells me he understands what I have in mind. “It’s fine, guys,” I say, before glaring at Shining. “He or anypony else makes a move on you before we’ve fully explained things will answer to me.” The two look to each other, before taking a deep breath and dropping their disguises. Everypony and dragon gasp. “These two and one other, named Coxa, have been living here in the Empire since the day it came back,” I say, looking pointedly at Shining and Cadance. “The latter has been teaching in an elementary school, while these two are the caretakers at the local preschool. They were abandoned by Cheese Legs and I allowed them to remain, knowing they have good hearts.” “They’ve been in the Empire all this time?” Cadance looks surprised and confused. “Why haven’t they done anything?” I roll my eyes, facehoofing. “They’ve developed real bonds with others, that’s why. They don’t need to go out and steal love because it’s freely given, by friends they’ve made and the young ponies in their care.” “Is that… even possible?” Sunburst looks to Cadance, but returns his gaze to me when I chuckle. “Ironic that you ask that, Sunburst,” I smirk. “You’ve been good friends with Coxa ever since coming out of your shell.” He blinks, looking confused. “Huh?” “Professor Airwind?” I ask, grinning. “The name is a bit on the nose for a Pegasus disguise, isn’t it?” Sunburst’s eyes widen. “You mean… I’ve been having chats about variations in wing patterns and flight dynamics in combination with humidity in tandem with rain fall with a Changeling this whole time?” I nod, before returning my gaze to Shining Armour, who’s looking far more uncertain now. “Thorax and the three Changelings who’ve been living here are good Changelings. They only want to live their lives and be around those they care about. To refuse them of that goes against the ideals of this Empire, let alone all of Equestria. Besides which, wouldn’t it be smarter to have friends who can help improve our defences against the Changelings than to ignore them.” There’s silence as everypony seems to be thinking this over, before Cadance steps forward. “On behalf of the Crystal Empire, I would like to extend my hoof in friendship, to Thorax and his fellow Changelings already in the Empire. And I’m sure my subjects are or will in time be eager to do the same.” The guards who’d already been changing their minds during Spike’s song cheer, causing the rest to eventually join in. Cadance levitates Flurry Heart over and she giggles and babbles towards Thorax and I can tell it’s not just because she’s a baby, but because she senses the good in him. Shining stays back, looking like he’d really rather not accept Thorax, let alone have his daughter be so close to the Changeling. After a few moments though, he sighs, before coming over, though he gives Thorax a weary look. “I will rest my judgment for now, Thorax,” he says, looking to the other two as well. “I trust my sister and nephew, so I’m willing to try.” I grin, before pumping a hoof in the air. “To Spike the Brave and Glorious!” Everypony cheers and I smile, turning to head out. I need to inform Coxa about this. I have a feeling things are going to get very interesting in the Empire now. And I highly doubt Cheese Legs will be able to pull anything now.