//------------------------------// // Swoosh // Story: How to Disappear Completely // by shortskirtsandexplosions //------------------------------// "The Crystal Empire?!" Cup Cake held a hoof over her muzzle. She leaned against the glass counter of Sugarcube Corner in a desperate attempt not to faint. "You mean... the Crystal Crystal Empire?" "With the crystal ponies?" Carrot Cake likewise blinked in disbelief. "With the crystal palace?" "Made of cr-crystal?" Cup Cake added with a whimper. Soarin hovered in the corner, munching liberally on a plate of banana bread. He watched as Flash stood beside Lyra Heartstrings and Bon Bon, smiling at the older couple. "That's the place! Not that long of a flight by wing—I discovered. Still, they're needing caterers to entertain a buttload of Equestrian dignitaries." He took a step back and smiled at the three mares and one stallion in his sights. "And I couldn't think of anyone else better suited for the job!" "That's... it's just... we're..." Cup Cake fanned herself as she turned to look at her husband. "The Crystal Empire!" "Brad..." Bon Bon's eyes narrowed. "Do you even know anypony else? Much less those in the baking capacity?" "B.B.!" Lyra frowned at her, dimples turning pink. "Be nice! You of all ponies should know better than to look a gift horse in the mouth!" "I'm just as flabbergasted as Mr. And Mrs. Cake here." Bon Bon's ears folded as she looked at Flash. "You say that Prince Blueblood, Filthy Rich, and Fancy Pants are the ones responsible for this unification?" "Yuppers!" "Don't they... like... have a bunch of noble servants waiting in line to do this sort of a thing? It's... it's such a tall order!" "Not when you've got the talent and guts to deliver!" Flash grinned. "And I know that you guys are absolutely fantastic!" "For real?" Carrot Cake smirked. "Or do you just happen to like us?" "You are absolutely fantastic!"" Flash gestured. "Besides... Filthy and Fancy both agree that they'd rather the celebration attendees sample the finest of non-aristocratic Equestria... if that makes any sense." "It doesn't," Bon Bon said. "But somehow I'm inclined to agree anyways." "Yeah!" Lyra beamed. "If the Crystal Empire ponies wanna taste what's best from Equestria, there's nothing better than my Bon Bon's candies!" She blushed, then smiled at the other two. "And Mr. And Mrs. Cakes' bakes, of course." "But of course, dear," Cup Cake said with a nod, then looked at Flash again. "They can't all be wanting dessert items at this sort of an event..." "That's okay." Flash looked past her at Carrot. "Cuz I bet you know how to fit all orders." "Oh! Absolutely!" Carrot nodded briskly. "It's in my name, after all. Vegetables? Fruit? Breaded snacks? You name it!" "The best that Ponyville has to offer!" Flash nodded back. "Which—in turn—is the best Equestria has to offer! I have no doubt!" "Mrrrmmff... not too far from the truth, actually." Soarin spoke in between bites, pointing at his plate. "Best banana bread I've ever had." "Well, you're quite welcome," Carrot said with a happy lilt in his voice. "Do they expect us to bring our own supplies?" Bon Bon asked, squinting. "Because... you make it sound like we'd be serving hundreds if not thousands of ponies." Flash bowed low. "The kitchens and cooks of the Crystal Empire are at your beck and call..." A beat. He looked over at Soarin. "Right?" "Absolutely." "The kitchens and cooks of the Crystal Empire are at your beck and call!" Flash winked. "All you gotta do is arrive at the Palace, provided your expert baking brains, then point and click!" "Point... and... click...?" Lyra blinked. "Just direct everypony around," Soarin said. "The stewards—Princess Cadance and Shining Armor—are providing the bits." His ears twitched. "Spitfire and the Wonderbolts will vouch for you." "So... this is a joint function between the Crystal Empire and the Wonderbolts?" Carrot asked. "And now with Ponyville!" Flash exclaimed cheerfully. "Ponyville's finest, as a matter of fact!" "Yee-hee-hee-heeeeee!" Lyra did a little jig in place, then leaned aside to rub her fuzzy cheek against's Bon Bon's. "You'regonnabefamous! You'regonnabefamous! You'regonnabefamoussss!" "Guh... Lyraaaaaaa..." Bon Bon gently urged the mare aside and looked at Flash again. "Brad... this is all very much appreciated. But... it's also kinda last second, don't you think?" "The best things in life are," Soarin said. "Or so I've discovered." "I just want you to get the best possible opportunity to let the world see how wonderful your talent and generosity is," Flash said. "But... why?" Bon Bon cocked her head curiously to the side. "Why come back all the way for us? What did we ever do to deserve this?" Flash opened his muzzle. He blinked. He looked at Soarin... flicked his ears... then looked back at Bon Bon. "Because... you're... nice...?" Bon Bon opened her muzzle. Lyra spoke with the menace of serrated daggers: "Say 'thank you,' B.B." Defeated, Bon Bon sighed through a tired smile. "Thank you, B.B." "Cake?" Flash looked over his shoulder. "Cake-squared? How about you two?" The couple exchanged glances. At last, it was Mrs. Cake who exhaled heavily, smiling in Flash's direction. "Oh, what the hay. We could definitely use the means to put our little ones through college." "Awesome sauce!" "Sooooo... uhm..." Carrot Cake straightened his apron. "When exactly are the festivities beginning?" "Oh..." Flash shrugged. "Two and a half days from now." Three sets of eyes bugged instantly. Lyra was left blinking. "Wait..." Lyra traced an invisible clock in the air. "Two and a half days... that's less than a week, right?" "Buhhhhhh..." Bon Bon trembled, trying not to faint. "Buhhhhhhhhhhhhhh—" "Speechless! I would be too! Whelp!" Flash Sentry rubbed his hooves together. "Soarin and Spitfire already procured train tickets! Next ride to the Crystal Empire is in an hour. Better get packing!" Flash turned from the stunned poies and smiled at Soarin. "Well, that was easy!" Flash exclaimed. "Uhhhh... Flash?" Soarin hovered within whispering distance, his eyes worriedly plastered on the four dumbfounded equines. "...are we getting a bit ahead of ourselves here?" "You're riiiiiiiiiiight..." Flash nodded. "How could I be so foolish?" He beamed. "The music performance!" "Uhhhh..." "Don't worry, buddy." Flash gave the headphones over his neck a shake and smirked. "I know just where to go and who to talk to. "Somehow... that doesn't surprise me." "Quick question." "Shoot." Flash squinted out the nearby window. "Just... where on Canterlot Mountain is... y'know... Canterlot?" "You see that big city looming on the southwest precipice?" "Yeah? What, is Canterlot behind it?" "... ... ..." "Come on, Soarin, buddy!" Flash galloped out of Sugarcube Corner. "Let's not waste anytime!" With a soft sigh, Soarin floated after him. He smiled over his shoulder at the others in attendance. "We'll... uh... we'll talk again soon. Promise." "Buhhhhh... buhhhhhhhhhhhh," Bon Bon continued. "Easy for you to say." Sw-Swooosh!