//------------------------------// // The Empire has Hidden Secrets. Hidden by Me, that Is. // Story: It's A Screwed Up Life // by Autum Breeze //------------------------------// The Empire has Hidden Secrets. Hidden by Me, that Is. ___________________________________________________________ I yawn loudly, before sitting up and looking over the field outside of Ponyville where Twilight’s castle will grow. It’s been about four days since the wedding and Cadance and Shining Armour are still on their honeymoon. The only real fun thing I did save my usual pranking on Spoiled was hopping through the dimensions to help that alternate Twilight and Fluttershy with the memory problems they were having. Sure, there was sorting out Chrysalis and her Changelings, but that wasn’t as much fun as it was my trying to just make things better. I make a pocket watch appear in front of me. It’s not a normal watch though. When it opens it has a timer with the words “Time until the Crystal Empire returns”. I blink, before rubbing my eyes and check again. Whoa, so much for being bored. The Empire returned a few hours ago and Cadance and Shining Armour are already on their way there. Hopping up I use a teleport and find myself standing in front of a very startled Cadance and Shining Armour. “Wha—? Screwball?” the pink Alicorn gasps, registering who I am. “But, how—? Why are you here?” “Celestia sending you two to the frozen north because the Crystal Empire’s returned?” I ask simply. They gape, to which I roll my eyes. “Guys, I’m a being of chaos. Are you really that surprised I’d know something Sunbutt hasn’t told the public?” Both frown at the word “Sunbutt”, but don’t get a chance to say more as the ground beneath us shakes. Looking around, I see that we’re in a train cart. Moving over to a window and looking outside, I can see, along with the whirling snowstorm that the Crystal Heart protects the Empire from, a dark cloud that is moving along the ground, with a pair of red and green eyes. “I’ll hold off Sombra whilst you guys get to the Empire,” I say, turning back to the couple. “When you do, Cadance, make a barrier of love of light. It’ll keep him out whenever he manages to get a pot-shot out.” “Wait. What do you—?” Shining calls, but I’ve already jumped out of the cart, caught myself in the air and am shooting towards the smoke cloud that is Sombra. I smirk. I am so having fun with this. I change myself into a human, before making giant purple bat-wings grow out of my back. I fly up into the sky to face the Sombra cloud, which has paused, no doubt due to Sombra one, not expecting something to change into something so randomly right in front of him like that and two, because I doubt he’s ever seen a human in his life, so the sight of one just appearing before him with giant bat-wings threw him off. “Always wanted to say this,” I grin, holding up my right are, it turning into a large canon with “Love Cannon” written in big red letters on the side. Sombra looks even more confused from what little of his face I can see, as the cannon barrel starts glowing with white light. I cackle and, adding distortion to my voice, scream, “TASTE THE RAINBOW, MOTHER BUCKER!” and fire, a torrent of rainbow energy exploding from the cannon. The blast slams into the cloud and, unlike a cloud, instead of dissipating, it is pushed backwards as a loud scream of pain is released into the howling winds. My arm returns to normal and I watch Sombra writhing in agony for a few moments. Once he’s done he turns, glaring at me, any of the “I’m going to play around with you for my own amusement” expression completely gone from his eyes. I smirk, holding my arms out, blades appearing on them, glowing with blue light. Yeah, I could just teleport the Crystal Heart to where it’s meant to be, cure the Crystal Ponies of their amnesia so they know what to do and hell, I could even stop Sombra right from the get-go. However, that would mean Twilight would never learn about self sacrifice (even though I’m pretty sure it was covered in some way, even a small one, during the previous two seasons) and Spike wouldn’t get to be the hero of the Crystal Empire. The little guy needs something good going for him, considering all the shit he goes through. Plus, come on. You really think I’m going to pace up a chance to have an all out battle against Sombra? I’ll be lucky if I can have any fun with Tirek, since he’ll be able to sense if I use my Chaos Magic after he steals Discord’s. This is likely the best chance I have to have a fun battle, at least when it comes to the big super villains. And besides, once Twilight and the others get here and are occupied by the Crystal Fair, I’ll be able to work in my other plan. RIGHT AFTER THE CHANGELINGS WERE EXPELLED FROM CANTERLOT Chrysalis screamed as she and her Changelings soared through the air, unable to halt their flight path due to being overloaded by the power of the love shield that blasted them from Canterlot. How was it possible that not only could love be used against them, but it actually left them in pure agony? To top it off, she felt as at least half her army perished upon impact with the ground, some still being within Equestria’ borders and winced with each life that vanished from the Hive. How could she have failed so badly when she was so close to victory? How? “I’ll tell you how. You underestimated the ponies and thought of them as nothing but prey.” Before the Changeling Queen knew what was happening, the rushing winds around her suddenly stopped, as did the pain. Opening her eyes, she blinked, before looking around in confusion. She was in the ruins of some old castle, as were all the Changelings still connected to the Hive. What in the world? she thought, before her eyes fell on a small Earth Pony filly who was standing on her hind legs, resting her head on her forelegs as she leaned against one of the walls. Chrysalis could taste nothing but calmness coming from her, something that a pony should not be feeling when surrounded by so many of her kind. “Your second mistake was leaving Twilight down bellow with the real Cadance,” the filly said, smirking at her. “Oh, and thinking you had a chance when a being of chaos was around.” Chrysalis blinked for several moments, before snorting. “A being of chaos? The only being of chaos in this world is Discord and he is still encased in stone. I know, I’ve seen it.” The filly’s expression did not change. “Who ever said I was talking about Discord?” As the filly spoke, the Changeling Queen was drenched in chocolate milk. Quickly looking up, she saw a cloud made of cotton candy, on top of which sat... the filly? The filly grinned, waving down. “Hey. I’m Screwball. Sorry for yanking you several hours into the future, but I was having too much fun at the wedding to bother using a double for this.” Chrysalis looked back to where the filly had been standing only to see a bare wall. Looking back up, her eyes widened as a soda bottle appeared out of thin air and the filly drank from it. She finished, gave a loud belch, then tossed it aside, the bottle turning into a flower upon impacting the ground instead of breaking. “I’ve a proposal, Chryssy, dear,” Chrysalis shivered as she suddenly found the filly standing next to her, resting a foreleg on one of Chrysalis’ own. How in the world had she done that? “I don’t like the idea of your race dying out cos you were too stupid to just ask the ponies for help feeding you instead of invading, so how about this? The Crystal Empire will return pretty soon. Pinkie Promise to be a good little ling and not cause anymore problems for the ponies and I’ll help you and your hive get inside. You can pretend to be ponies whom I will give you the IDs of. Heck, G1 had a ton that were never even utilized in G4 as far as I know, so it’ll give you all great cover stories. You’ll all easily be able to feed, live your lives and it won’t even harm anypony to do so. Whacha say, Bugbutt.” It took Chrysalis several long minutes to actually process what the little pony had said. Once it had all gone through her mind, however, she gave a loud cackle. “Do you really expect me to make a deal with a little filly?” she sneered down at the calm pony. “I am Queen of the Changelings and you just told me of a place that can provide my subjects with even more love than even Equestria could provide.” “Pretty sure the Empire is a part of Equestria, but whatever,” this Screwball said nonchalantly. “And, yeah. You will. Trust me, you don’t want the Ultimatum.” Chrysalis just chuckled. “Oh, really? And what is that, little filly?” Suddenly, she felt herself being pulled in a mass teleport along with the rest of her hive. The next moment she screamed in terror as she saw the sun just metres away from herself. The screams from her subjects told her this wasn’t just a trick, this was real. The heat was intense, yet she knew something was keeping them alive. For one, how were they even breathing? “Do not buck with me, Changeling,” a cold voice said. Chrysalis turned her head to see the filly, Screwball floating a little away, her forelegs folded, her expression grim. “Like I said, I don’t like the idea of your race dying out because of your own stupidity, but it will happen if you do not accept.” “Are you insane?!” Chrysalis screamed, looking from the pony to the giant ball of flames just metres away from her own face. “How is this even happening?!” “I told you,” Screwball said, sounding just as cold as before, “when I spoke of a being of chaos, I was not referring to that Draconequus. I was speaking of myself, the being of chaos he created by accident.” Chrysalis’ eyes widened in horror. A second being of chaos? And, from what she had observed thus far, she seemed to have the same abilities as her creator. Wait. She recognized this filly now. She was the filly she meant the day before the wedding, the one who had seemed so confident around her when every other pony had grovelled at her hooves. Was this why she’d been so confident? Because she was a being of chaos the whole time? However, instead of the confidence she’d sensed coming from her back then and in that ruined castle, now she only sensed a coldness coming from her. “What will it be, Queen of the Changelings?” the chaos filly demanded, pointing a hoof at the sun. “Do you Pinkie Promise to do as I have offered, or are you willing to experience the extinction of your entire race one by one, before finally meeting the same fate.” Chrysalis looked from the filly to her subjects, hearing their pleas and cries over the Hive Mind as well as out loud. One could never say Chrysalis was a coward. Of all the queens throughout time, she had been the strongest, the one who had done the most for the Hive. She had never bowed to another’s will, they had bowed to hers. But could she really refuse this pony who had the powers of the Lord of Chaos? It wasn’t like she’d be risking her subjects’ lives. There was no risk at all. If she refused, this Screwball seemed adamant on sending all those who hadn’t already perished into the flaming ball before them, in which none save Princess Celestia herself could survive. After several more moments of hearing her subjects’ fear, she could take it no more. Sucking up every ounce of pride she had, she looked to the young filly and nodded. “No.” That one word sent chills of horror down her spine as the filly’s eyes narrowed. “You’ll make a Pinkie Promise.” Somehow, Chrysalis found she knew what the chaos pony was talking about, yet knowing only terrified her more. She would not be able to turn her back on the chaos pony and break this promise. The specifics of just what would happen if she did were unclear, but, deep in her gut, she felt pure terror at the idea of breaking the promise and the worst part, the terror did not come from the chaos pony herself. If it was not her to fear for breaking the promise, when she could easily teleport the whole hive to the sun, then who? She did not want to find out and, both in an equal mix of reluctance and morbid fear, she performed the motions of a Pinkie Promise. Once she had, the cold expression on the filly was replaced with outright happiness and Chrysalis could sense joy coming from the filly. A moment later, they were all back in the ruined castle they’d appeared in before, none of her Changelings harmed at all the, the filly smiling up at Chrysalis. Everything inside her told the Changeling Queen to flee, hideaway and get as far from this pony as she possibly could, but she was frozen in place from fear. She needn’t worry about her subjects thinking her weak for being afraid, as they all had moved to the farthest corner of the room, their own fear dominating all over thoughts in the Hive Mind. “Now,” Screwball said, pacing in front of the queen, her expression cheerful, as if the whole threatening to throw them all into the sun thing had never happened, “the wedding was only today and it’s likely Cadance and Shining Armour got at least a few days of honeymoon time before having to go the Empire, so you can all hang around here until then. You’re allowed to explore the Everfree to your hearts’ content, though I really wouldn’t advise it. “You should be safe from being discovered, since Twilight and the others won’t come here til after they defeat Discord’s Plunder Plants, which won’t happen for a long time. The ones likely to find you are Zecora and Fluttershy, seeing as Zecora lives here in the Everfree and Fluttershy comes in from time to time for plants or whatever. So, you’re good there too. “I’ve already spoken with Zecora whilst I was teleporting you all back here from space, so she’s aware of you and won’t interfere with you as long as you don’t interfere with her. Whenever Fluttershy’s around, I’ve set up a magical alert that only you’ll all be able to feel. Soon as you feel it, turn into some small animal or a rock or whatever and wait til she’s gone. Last thing you want is Fluttershy finding out you’re hear and telling everypony out of fear.” Screwball stopped pacing and faced the Changeling Queen, looking up at her with that same cheerful smile. “Ya got all that?” “I...” she said, her mind trying to catch up. “I... yes. Yes, we do.” Screwball closed her eyes, her smile somehow becoming more cheerful, yet that only set the Changelings further on edge. “Great. See you soon, Chryssy!” And she was just gone. Noling dared move for several long minutes. Once they were certain the chaos filly was gone, Chrysalis shakily began assigning drones to their tasks. If that filly was expecting them to live here, they’d make do with what they had. The beasts of the Everfree were not her concern. That filly’s ire was. ___________________________________________________________ I sense Cadance’s magic about to wink out, which will cause the barrier to fall down. Grinning, I disappear, confusing Sombra, but he isn’t my focus anymore. At least for the moment. I appear in the ruins of the castle to find it looks more like a bug hive than the ruins of Celestia and Luna’s old home. “It’s time, Bugbutt,” I call out. Every Changeling freezes, before turning and looking at me with fearful eyes. I grin. “Don’t worry. I’m just here to hold up my end of the bargain. Any Changelings who wanna stay, maybe hide out in Ponyville and live here?” A single ling raises their hoof. I nod. That must be the one from the 100th episode. “Okay, everyling else, get ready. I’ve got your disguises ready and filled out all the documents to make you legal citizens of the Empire; despite so few being Crystal Ponies. The moment I teleport you, spread out. Just stay away from the cloud of hate that will be nearing the Empire. Trust me; you wanna steer clear of that. Also, just have a good life and remember to enjoy the Crystal Fair.” Another teleport and every changeling save the one who wished to stay behind have appeared with me in the Empire, each taking on a pony form from G1 that was never utilized in Friendship is Magic as far as I know. I also removed any trace of the Changelings from the castle, thus Twilight and the only will never even know they were there. With all the Crystal Ponies still focused on the fair and not realizing Sombra’s coming yet, they don’t even notice as a large group of ponies just appear out of nowhere. I turn to all the Changelings-in-disguise, my gaze focused on a pink tall unicorn mare with a white and purple mane and tail, purple eyes and eight dark purple stars, some big, some small for a Cutie Mark, whom was glaring at me. “I hate you,” Twilight Twinkle growled. I just grin. “Think of this as community service, Twi Twi. As punishment for how you treated Twilight Sparkle and her family.” She snorts, looking away, before glaring at me out the corner of her eye. “I’m not going to just never see you again, am I?” I just grin and do my best Big Mac impression. “Eenope.” Twinkle grumbles, before looking to all the other assembled ponies, nods and they all spread out to mingle with the Empire’s inhabitants. As they do, I notice one of the Changelings, for some reason, looks like Berry Punch, but seeing as she does appear amongst the crowd of Crystal Ponies in the season three premiere, I’ll let it slide. I’ll just have to find that Changeling later and change their disguise to somepony else. Maybe Medley or Cuddles. Eh, I’ll think of somepony I didn’t use already. With that sorted, I look up towards the castle in confusion. Shouldn’t Cadance have put her barrier back up by now? Teleporting, I find Twilight, Shining and Cadance, the pink Alicorn looking completely drained. A quick look at her tells me she won’t recover enough energy on her own to get the barrier up in time to just cut off a piece of Sombra’s horn, whilst leaving the rest of him still outside the Empire until the barrier falls again. I roll my eyes, before giving Cadance a recharge myself. Of course, I don’t recharge her completely. I’ll do that right before Shining throws her like a javelin to reach the Crystal Heart in time. The barrier goes up and I hear Sombra’s angered cry of pain as the tip of his horn is shorn off by it. With nothing else to do until right towards the end, I teleport back down to just enjoy the festival. ___________________________________________________________ I turn my head from the pie I was able to bite into as I sense Twilight triggering Sombra’s alarm system for in case somepony found the heart, at the same time, the barrier starts to fade again and I teleport to Shining and Cadance’s side. I watch as Spike tries to make his way to us, whilst Sombra is trying to get to him and his proximity to the Crystal Heart takes away most of his power, making him almost look like a normal pony. Shining helps Cadance up and I give her the second recharge, this time giving her enough energy so she’ll be able to do what needs to be done. And it plays out just like the episode. Cadance catches Spike and Crystal Heart, somepony calls out that Cadance is the Crystal Princess as she flies over the Crystal Ponies and puts the heart where it’s meant to be, the explosion of good emotions destroys Sombra, save his horn and everything turns out hunky dory. With everypony distracted, however, I feel the last phase of my plan can come into effect. Teleporting away, I find myself outside the barrier the Crystal Heart keeps the Empire in. Glancing around, I spot Sombra’s horn sinking into the snow, not too far from a just black crystal. I glare at the crystal, using my magic to grab Sombra’s horn and bringing it over to me. What are you?! the crystal demands. And what do you think you’re doing?! I snort. “I’m Screwball and I’m going to give Sombra the life you took away from him! And, as for your Umbrum kind that you tried to make Sombra release, you and them can rot in Tartarus!” A high-pitched scream comes from the stone before it vanishes in a burst of flames red flames. That handled, I return look to the Empire and head back. ___________________________________________________________ As Cadance and Shining Armour released each other from their hug and looked out at all the other Crystal Ponies, the ground rumbled for several moments, before it stopped. They and the others looked at each other in confusion. A popping sound was followed by Screwball appearing and calling out in what could easily be mistaken for the Royal Canterlot Voice, “The Umbrum are now and forever gone! Hail Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armour!” This seems to snap the Crystal Ponies out of the fear the shaking her caused and they all cheer with joy, as Screwball turned to them saying, “Gotta go find Radiant Hope and fix everything”, and teleported away, leaving everypony and dragon on the balcony very confused. ___________________________________________________________ “How... how could I have believed...?” the purplish unicorn says, looking down at her hooves as we reappear outside the Empire, but towards far enough away that nopony can see us. “It’s not your fault,” I comfort, hovering up and putting a hoof on her shoulder. In the moment I’d sent the Umbrum crystal to Tartarus along with all those imprisoned, Radiant had been done there. Turns out, after studying with Celestia and Luna, she’d come back to the Empire, despite the Empire no longer being there at the time and found a way into the world of the Umbrum. There, they tricked her into wanting to help them get free. However, when they’d all felt themselves being pulled into Tartarus by a force they hadn’t expected and trying to fight back, they’d shown Radiant their true selves. She’d been all on her own when I arrived. Now that we’re back out, though, I have one last task. Holding Sombra’s horn in my magic, I nod to Radiant. She chargers her horn and fires a beam at the Sombra’s whilst I pour my own power into the spell. The horn glows with a white light, before turning into a sphere and expanding. It keeps growing until it’s the size of a full-grown pony. When the sphere disappears, Sombra is standing there, only now he looks like he did before the Umbrum took over him. and looks are the only thing. I’ve turned him into a real unicorn, so now the Umbrum have no hold over him whatsoever. Sombra slowly opens his eyes, before they widen in shock at the sight of Hope. “Hope?” he asks, before putting a hoof to his throat, then looks around in shock. “But, I was... But, how...?” He then notices me and points. “You’re the one who kept fighting me when the Empire first returned.” I nod. “Welcome back, Sombra. You’re a normal pony now. The Umbrum are all gone and can’t do anything to you anymore.” Sombra looks to Hope, before looking down, shame etched on his face. “Hope, I... I’m so...” Hope just smiles, steps forward and pulls him into a tight hug. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” “Now, don’t think you’re getting out of this free, Sombra,” they both turn to me. I fold my forehooves. “The ponies aren’t going to just let you go without facing consequences.” He nods, giving me a solemn expression. “I know, and I wouldn’t derseve it anyway.” He steps back from Hope and looks to me. “You’ve helped to give me another chance, little filly. It is more than I deserve. Therefore, I will use this life you have given me to atone for my crimes. I will travel Equestria in search of every piece of Princess Amore that I scattered.” I nod, smiling. “Glad to hear it. Also, I’ll place a spell on you so nopony can tell you’re the same stallion that tried to take over the Crystal Empire, twice.” He nods. Radiant Hope steps forward, then turns to face me and leans against the black stallion. “Place one on me, too. I’m going with him.” I smirk. “Wouldn’t have expected any different. Now, I need to go find that Changeling who took the form of Berry Punch. I think Cuddles will be a better fit.”