How to Disappear Completely

by shortskirtsandexplosions


Wash

"'Ambivalence?' What do you mean?"

"He means that most humans don't know enough to care, Bon Bon."

"No, I mean that most of us don't care enough to know. And—in some twisted way—that makes it perfectly okay for us to just... sit down and let the world go to ruin."

"Surely it can't be that horrible, my boy. If you're any indication of your kind, Mr. Flash, then I've no doubt that there's enough altruism to fix all the problems in your beleaguered world."

"Oh, but there is. That's the problem, Fancy Pants. We know that we can fix the world. We know that it's not too late to stop global warming or to cure cancer or to feed the hungry. We just don't care to go through with the full effort. Sure, we afford ourselves a scant few tributaries to ferry the resources we can afford to part with—that we can live in luxury without—but those who are willing to sacrifice everything to get the actual job done are far too few to count, and most of them with bright heads to show off are likely hollow to the core. At our best, we compartmentalize the necessary tasks into a sinfully minimized allotment of charities and missions. We invent ideas for the sole sake of maintaining themselves in name only, without bothering to trace every angle that the dollar or blood or seed flows. And when we feel an inkling of failure, we stave off the guilt by putting our faith in icons—both made-up and half-real—who'll manifest within us the heartfelt illusion of having agency in ethics and good samaritanism. Then—when the hypocrisy scratches at our inner conscience—we lean on the oldest mortal caveat in the book: that somehow and in some way there will 'always be time' to fix things in the future... that 'tomorrow' will bring about the real change when we keep forsaking the ever-fleeting now... now... now..."

"Sweet Celestia. That sounds horrible..."

"Even the most horrible things become 'normal' when you live with it every day. When you adopt it like your next breath."

"Flash, are you certain you're not just being... being...?"

"'Emo?'"

"Poetic, Mr. Soarin. But the word I was looking for is 'arbitrary'. If I may be so bold, Flash, you've been experiencing what one could seemingly call an emotional drought rife with introspective loneliness. Are you certain that this wold-view isn't simply a projection of your own ill-plagued self-esteem?"

"That's not bold at all, Octavia. And you're not wrong. I've been living in such a low place that—sure—it's easy to assume that I'm just obsessing with hyperbole. But the time of madness has come and gone. My mania ended cold turkey the very moment my other self threw me in jail. Tell me, Miss Melody, have you Equestrians ever heard of the concept of 'baptism?'"

"I can't say that we have, good sir."

"It's a religious idea. You can probably tell I haven't been much of a religious type in my human life. But... now... I-I think that might be starting to change."

"How so, Mr. Bard...?"