//------------------------------// // I Leave Equestria for a Few Days, Just a Few Days and THIS is what I Come Back to?! // Story: It's A Screwed Up Life // by Autum Breeze //------------------------------// I Leave Equestria for a Few Days, Just a Few Days and THIS is what I Come Back to? ___________________________________________________________ “I’m telling you you can not escape—” Songbird Serenade’s voice sounded from not too far off. Twilight winced as she heard a banging sound as she was rolled through the streets, trapped by the cage Tempest Shadow had put her in. Her heart sunk lowers with each pony she saw throughout Canterlot enslaved by the Storm King’s forces, doing whatever chores they were made to do, being treated like no more than pack animals and slaves. Glancing behind her, she looked sadly at her friends, also bound in cages, along with the ten Hippogriffs that Queen Novo had sent with them, along with Skystar, who’d snuck out, the pirates and Capper. How had this happened? How had things gone so wrong so fast? SEVERAL HOUR AGO “And that’s the whole story, Your Highness,” Twilight finished as she and her friends floated in the throne room with bubbles around their heads. They had been lead down by several Hippogriffs who’d confronted them upon their arrival on Mount Aris. They hadn’t at all expected to be lead underwater, of all places. Queen Novo rubbed her chin, before nodding. “Very well. I shall send ten of my guards to escort you back and to aid in your regaining your kingdom.” She cocked an eyebrow. “Though, I’d have thought it would be a simple matter for Screwball to stop it all by herself, would it not?’ “I still can’t believe Screwball found the Hippodgriffs and Seaponies ages ago and never told anypony about it,” Rarity whispered to Fluttershy. “I can,” Rainbow Dash deadpanned. “Eeyup,” Applejack deadpanned along with her. “Screwball’s in another universe, at the moment,” Pinkie said, nonchalantly. Queen Novo blinked, before shaking her head. “For some reason, that doesn’t sound impossible when it comes to that pony.” Twilight blinked, her expression becoming a bit anxious. “Only ten? I mean, I don’t mean to sound rude, Your Highness, but…” Queen Novo nodded. “I fully understand. However, if the Storm King is truly back, I need as many of my warriors here, should he come back to take Mount Aris. Do not worry. My guards are good with tactical infiltration. So long as you keep the element of surprise, they will be able to help you defeat the Storm King.” She closed her eyes. “I wish you luck, Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight nodded, looking back at her friends, who gave firm expressions. It wasn’t as much help as they’d hoped, but it should be enough. NOW How were we supposed to know Tempest figured out we were going to Mount Aris and would have a trap set for us? the purple princess thought gloomily as they reached the castle. And it wasn’t like Capper and the pirates could’ve done much on their own. We didn’t have a chance and now Equestria is doomed. They were taken to the throne room, where Twilight’s heart leapt into her throat at the sight of the statues of her fellow Alicorns, however, she felt a brief moment of relief when she realized there was no statue of Flurry Heart. Perhaps the whispers she’d heard from the guards on the ship about the Empire putting up too much of a fight to be taken over yet hadn’t been a lie after all. Perhaps The Storm King and his voices weren’t even aware of Flurry Heart’s existence. At least her brother and niece were safe… for now. She heard the horrified gasps of her friends and fellow captives as they no doubt caught sight of the princesses as well. Her cage was dumped atop what Twilight realized was some kind of magical scribe circle. She couldn’t fully figure it out from the angle she could see it, but whatever it was for, it couldn’t be could. As the ponies who’d been forced to pull her and her friends’ cages into the throne room left, their faces crestfallen at seeing their rulers beaten, Grubber slammed the doors shut, laughing. Twilight looked to the unicorn as she walked by the cage. “Tempest, don’t do this. Don’t give the Storm King—” “Your magic?” Tempest interrupted, smirking. “Did you think you’d keep it all to yourself? Time to share.” She turned her back to Twilight. “I’d love for everybody out there to know what I can really do.” “Ooh, fascinating!” Twilight whirled around to see a tall anthropomorphic figure step in trough the doorway leading to the outside balcony, a staff topped with a crystal held in his right hand. He gave the unicorn a smirk. “What can you really do?” Grubber immediately bowed low. “Your bidding, of courth, Your Mighty One.” There was a pause, before Grubber hurried out, closing the throne room door’s behind him. The Storm King walked towards them, grinning. “Bidding’s good. I like bidding!” He paused at Twilight’s cage, looking at her in confusion. “Um, what are you supposed to be?” Twilight’s expression firmed and she stepped forward. “I’m the Princess of Friendship!” There was a pause, before The Storm King laughed. “Oh. That’s nice.” Then he looked to Tempest, annoyed. “Why is this one still moving?” Tempest kept calm. “She and her friends put up a bit of a fight, but, as you can see, they’ve all been captured. She won’t be a problem. Plus, we may now know where the Hippogriffs were hiding all these years.” The Storm King seemed… to be ignoring her as he walked passed, passing his hand over her head, for some reason. “Yeah. So, speaking of problems, this place, it seems a little too—oh, I don’t know—cute!!!” he finished in a yell, before whirling around. “I don’t like cute! I never did like cute! Doesn’t really go with my whole "big bad powerful magic guy" thing, does… does…?” He started snickering before… bursting into laughter and rolling on the floor? “I— I can’t do it!” he cackled… his voice becoming very familiar. “It’s just too priceless! None of them even noticed! ” His staff remained standing, before it snorted in disapproval, its top ends breaking off and moving to its side like arms. “Seriously? You couldn’t keep up the act for just a few more seconds? We had a whole script to follow, ya know?” Twilight’s eyes widened. That voice was familiar too. Everyone watched as both The Storm King and his staff warped into the forms of Discord and Screwball respectively, the latter in her human form from Sunset’s world, with her arms folded and a very annoyed look on her face. “Fine,” she called, turning her head towards the statues. “Guess since the jig is up, you can quit the act.” To Twilight and her friends’ surprise, the statues glowed, before turning into several Changelings, all of whom looked unsure whether they were annoyed or trying to hold back laughter. “I… but…” Tempest looked around in absolute bewilderment, before fixing her eyes on Discord and Screwball. “What happened? What’s going on? Where’s the Storm King?” Screwball just shook her head, the cages around Twilight, her friends and the Hippogriffs vanishing, before she gave the princess a very annoyed look. “I’ll explain… but I’m not as happy as this prank should make me, Twilight Sparkle. Not as happy at all.” THREE DAYS AGO “So, let me see if I have this right,” I say, holding the anthropomorphic armoured creature by the throat. “In the short time I was gone because I wanted to relax, Equestria was invaded, Celestia, Luna and Cadance were turned to stone, everypony in Canterlot has been enslaved and Twilight and the others are currently off trying to get help from the Hippogriffs while a unicorn with a busted horn is pursuing them to capture Twilight and take her magic for some ego maniac with delusions of species superiority?” The Storm Trooper nods frantically. I feel a vein twitch on my head and growl-sigh. “I leave Equestria for a few days, just a few days and THIS is what I come back to?!” I toss the guard against a wall, where he slumps, unconscious. Remaining in my EQG form, I snap my fingers. The princesses are freed from their stony prisons and all the ponies throughout Canterlot are freed too. Sure hope this Storm King’s army is prepared for sneak attacks. “We must warn Twilight and her friends,” Cadance says urgently. “And we must prepare for this Storm King’s arrival!” Luna says firmly. “Doubt it would help and not really,” I say, pouting. “You’ve been in better spirits,” Cadance remarks warily. “You’d be pretty pissy too if you went to one parallel world to relax, only to be wound up more and return home expecting to relax, only to learn in the short time you were gone, everything went to shit!” I snap, before massaging my temples. “DD?” There’s a popping sound as he appears before me. “I’m here, daughter of mine and… oh,” he looks around, puzzled. “Did I get the date of the Friendship Festival wrong? This doesn’t seem very much in the spirit of “Friendship”,” he does quotations with his fingers. I growl. “Yes, you clearly did, or else the problems Equestria has right now never would’ve been a thing. Talk about a bad time for Flash Magnus to have offered to check the training of the Crystal Empire’s guards, Rockhoof to be off helping with the dig in his homeland and Star Swirl to be traveling Equestria to see how much things have changed in the last thousand years.” I walk over to the balcony and look out a small smirk coming to my face as I watch The Storm King’s forces being overrun by ponies none too pleased with the how they’d been treated since the invasion. At least there’s something to make me happy. “If you’re expecting me to just stop this Storm King’s army right away, you’re sorely mistaken, daughter,” Discord says sternly as he joins me, arms folded. “How is Twilight supposed to learn if I do everything for her?” “Normally, I’d agree with you,” I say, glancing at him. “As the future ruler of this land, she should learn to fight her own battles, but there’s a difference between leaving her to learn and helping where needed. This is one of those latter times.” He frowns down at me. “So, what do you propose?” I smirk at him. “Wanna test your acting skills again?” He grins. “You know I’m happy to offer my acting prowess wherever it is needed.” “Good,” I look back out, off towards the other lands. “Because, after I make a few calls, we’ll be setting up a little surprise for The Storm King and Miss Tempest Shadow.” I glance at him. “That’s not her real name, right? Sounds too edgy for an Equestrian.” He chuckles. “Oh, you’ll get a kick out of her real name.” TEN HOURS AGO “So nice to see lesser creatures put to their rightful places,’ The Storm King Smirks as he walks up the steps, having witnessed all the enslaved ponies as he was led here. “Of Coursth, Might One,” I say, disguised as Grubber. We enter the throne room where Tempest is waiting. The Storm King looks around, annoyed. “Where’s that other one? You said three days, Tempest.” He points threateningly at her. “I only see three! How hard is it to find the only four Pegacornicuseses in Equestria?!” “Six,” Tempest says simply. “Huh?” The Storm King cocks his head. “There’s six Alicorns in Equestria,” she says simply, smirking. “Honestly, though, despite the fact two of them are babies, I doubt you’d have gotten to them. One’s technically the Crystal Empire’s secret weapon and the other's a reborn Nightmare Moon. There’s a reason your forces having even gotten close to there yet, despite their princess being caught.” “Are you getting lippy with me, Tempest?” The Storm King growls, towering over her. “Do you not want me to fix your horn?” She snorts. “I know damn well you can’t do that.” He blinks in confusion. “When’d you figure that out.” Then he snarls. “Either way, don’t you dare talk back to me! Are you forgetting who’s in charge around here?” “It certainly isn’t you.” He turns around in confusion, only to get a dropkick to the face as I shift into EQG form. He goes flying, slamming into the wall, the staff clattering to the floor as she slumps down. “Oh, thank heavens,” Tempest says with relief, before shifting into DD. “Pretending to be that unicorn was so boring. I’m much more looking forward to my leading role.” I open up my hand, a holographic image of a turquoise Changeling with orange eyes. “How’re things going out there, Cornicle?” “Good, Screwball,” he replies calmly. “The soldiers The Storm King brought with him didn’t suspect a thing.” He chuckles. “The looks on their faces when all the enslaved ponies and their fellow soldiers turned into a swarm of bug ponies and attacked them were hilarious. They literally never expected anyone to fight back.” “Just make sure to get the word out that everypony has to remain indoors and quiet as possible,” I say, grinning back. “The plan won’t work if Tempest and the guards with her suspect anything’s up. They need to believe that as far as they’re aware, everypony in the city is still enslaved and miserable.” He salutes, the call ending. I look to the statues of the three princesses. “Okay, shift change.” The three turn into a green, blue and orange Changeling, each who sigh, nodding and head out, a trio of three other Changelings coming in and taking their place and disguises. “So…” Discord looks to the unconscious satyr-like creature lying unconscious on the floor, “what’ll we do with him?” His eyes light up. “Ooh, ooh, can I keep him as a pet?” I give him a raised eyebrow. “Which of us is the parent here again?” He blows as raspberry at me, which I catch, mix into a smoothie throw back at him. “Spoil sport,” he points, loudly slurping the smoothie. I look to The Storm King. “Being like him need to be dealt with. And I think I know just where to send him.” NOW “So… all those enslaved ponies and soldiers we saw on our way here…?” Applejack asks as she’s helped out of her cage. I nod. “All Changelings.” I rub my temples. “Honestly, I’m starting to wonder how competent Celestia is as a ruler these days when she literally has the entire Changeling Kingdom as an ally, but thinks it’s smarter to get help from even further out of Equestria. With the Changelings she could’ve even tricked Tempest into thinking she had Twilight when she didn’t.” “I guess I deserve that,” Celestia says as she walks in, followed by Luna, Twilight crying out in delight and hugging her mentor. “Considering it took the Princess of Chaos to remember you have allies that can change their shape and hide in plain sight, I kinda have to agree,” Cornicle says, nodding. “What do you plan on doing with me?” We all turn to Tempest, who’s held in place by Changeling goo on her front hooves, binding them to the ground. “Are you going to do to me what you did to my king?” I give her a “Really bitch?” look. “We both know you only did what he wanted because you want your horn back.” I walk over and flick her busted horn. “FWI, you don’t need it. A broken horn like that doesn’t stop you using your magic. A little training and you’ll learn how to cast spells like you used to instead of just releasing pure magical energy.” She blinks. “Wait… what?” “She’s right,” Twilight walks up to Tempest, giving her a friendly smile. “Your horn is pretty powerful, just like the pony it belongs to.” “Besides, you’ll be more useful to Equestria out here than in Tartarus with that scum,” I shrug, walking away. “You sent The Storm King to Tartarus?” Twilight’s eyes widen. I nod, leaning against a wall. “First used that staff of his to drain his magic though. Turns out he did have some unique weather based magic, but it was dormant without harnessing the power of four Alicorns through the staff first. Better safe than sorry, right? Now his magic won’t be a risk to anyone.” “Now,” Celestia looks to Tempest. “I wish to speak with you, Tempest Shadow, about your future in Equestria. From the stories my pupil has told me off their adventures beyond our lands, it would seem some aid is needed to fix what The Storm King’s influence has wrought.” The unicorn looks away. “If you don’t tell them, I will.” Everyone looks to Discord, confused. He smirks at Tempest. “Well?” She blinks, before it seems to click and she looks away. “That’s… not my real name… You Highness.” Celestia cocks and eyebrow, but her words are cut off by Pinkie Pie jumping up and getting right up close to Tempest. “Ooh! What is it?!” Tempest looks away in embarrassment, before sighing, grinning sheepishly. “It’s Fizzlepop Berrytwist.” Pinkie gasps, her eyes lighting up and filling with stars, wrapping a foreleg around the unicorn. “Okay. That is. The most awesome name. EVER!” “You all enjoy the Friendship Festival,” I say, waving a hand. “I’m outta here.” “You’re going already, Screwball?” Rarity asks, surprised. I turn around, hands on my hips. “Yes. I went to Sunset’s world to relax after the stress of the whole Pony of Shadows thing. Instead, I’m dealing with literally dangerous memory problems the whole time. Come back here expecting to relax, only to find we’ve been invaded. Ugh! I’m going to another franchise world. Maybe there I can get some R&R at last!” ___________________________________________________________ Screwball snapped her fingers, vanishing from sight. There’s was a long pauses as all present just looked around at each other in confusion. “Um, I know I’m new here and all, but… I’m not the only one who didn’t understand that last part, am I?” Tempest asked, looking around at everyone. Twilight sighed, facehoofing. “Nope. You’re not the only one. She tends to do that a lot, leaving those around her confused.” “Another franchise world?” Spike looked around. “What was that supposed to mean?” Discord shrugged, though the too innocent smile on his face suggested he knew something, but wasn’t telling. ___________________________________________________________ Harry Potter turned over in bed, trying to hold his grip on sleep, but it was failing. How much more miserable could his life get? It had been three days now since his uncle had put those bars over his window and forbidden him from even leaving the house. He was just a prisoner now. There was no way he’d be able to get to Hogwarts this year. And what did his friends think? Did they think he’d forgotten or was ignoring them? Why did Dobby have to do this to him? For what reason did Harry have to miss out on his second year, possibly lose the only friends he’d ever had and be a prisoner in his own home? How was it for his own good? “Yeah, Dobby probably could’ve handled it better, but at least it works out in the long run.” Harry started, jolting up, tossing the covers aside, before he cocked his head. Before him, floating upside down by the door to his room was a girl, maybe about his age, a year older at most. Her hair was bright purple and white, a mess of curls. She was wearing a plain white T-shirt under a dark blue overalls shirt-pants combo, with pictures of a baseball and screw next to each other, just over where it ended at her thighs on her left side, mismatched purple and white socks and big yellow boots, matching the propeller beanie atop her head. Her eyes however… they had no pupils. They were just purple swirls. If he wasn’t a wizard, Harry probably would’ve thought he was going mad. Then his eyes widened. “What’re you doing?!” he hissed. “I already got a warning against using magic when it wasn’t even me doing it! Are you trying to get me expelled?!” The girl righted herself in the air, before giggling. “Ah, don’t worry about it, Harry. My magic can’t be traced in your world. Far as the Wizarding World will know, you just had another magicless night.” Harry frowned. The girl shrugged. “Hey, if you don’t trust me, we’ll wait.” She snapped her fingers, a pair of sodas Harry recognized as Butter Bears appearing next to her and she tossed him one. “Should be informed soon, shouldn’t we?” He paused, glancing to the window. Even if another huge barn owl like the one from earlier arrived, it wouldn’t easily be able to get in through the bars… but now he was actually a little curious why this girl was so calm. Not to mention he wanted to know just what she was doing in his room to begin with. You don’t just appear in someone else’s room without a reason. “Who… are you?” he asked, sitting down on his bed as the girl sat down, but kept floating. “Are you a witch?” She took a swig of her Butter Bear. “Damn. Why haven’t I visited this universe sooner? This stuff tastes damn good. In answer to your question, no. I’m no witch.” She winked at him. “I’m the Princess of Chaos.” “The Princess of… what?” Somehow, the answer had only given Harry more questions. “I’m an entity that exists differently from you, Harry,” she said, leaning back. “Name’s Screwball. I pretty much have the power to warp the very fabric of reality.” Even though that didn’t fully answer his question, Harry understood enough and his eyes lit up. “So, you can free me? You could let me out?” She glanced at him, before shaking her head. “Sorry, kid. Technically speaking, I’m not allowed to mess with your world. I only came to learn more about these two branching timelines.” Harry would’ve been saddened… but the other thing she said had his curiosity peeked. “Branching timelines?” She nodded. “Little changes can have huge consequences, Harry. Larger than one would think possible. Think when you through a small pebble into the water. Sure, the pebble is small, but the ripples it creates are huge. Same applies here, only we’re talking time, not water. This might be hard to believe, but those two branching timelines are actually better off than the main one. More surprising is we can thank you uncle, of all people, for that. His actions in both branches actually, if unintentionally, save the world.” Harry cocked an eyebrow, snorting. “How’s that?” His uncle saving the world? Yeah, right. Screwball put her hands behind her head, her Butter Bear floating next to her as if on an invisible coaster. “In the main timeline, Ron, Fred and George steal their dad’s flying care to save you. In this timeline, though, they got caught before they could sneak out instead of when they came back. As such, you don’t interact with them like you did in this branching timeline.” Harry deadpanned. “How exactly is my not being recused better?” She smirked. “Because it means you aren’t with the Weasley family when they go to the bookstore in Diagon Alley and, in doing so, there’s no confrontation between them and the Malfoys, thus Draco’s father doesn’t get a chance to give Ginny Weasley Tom Riddle’s diary.” “Tom who?” The way she said that name, it seemed like he should be concerned… but he didn’t have the foggiest clue why. “Not being able to sneak the diary to Ginny changed everything,” she continued, looking up at the ceiling, ignoring the question. “Voldemort’s plans failed all because it wasn’t Ginny who got his diary.” Harry’s eyes widened, before they narrowed. “Wait. I thought you just said this diary was Tom Riddle’s? What’s Voldemort have to do with this? Is he back?” She just smiled at him. “Tom’s full name is Tom Marvolo Riddle, but in that is anagram to his real identity.” He cocked an eyebrow. “Huh?” “Use cryptography, Harry,” she shook her head. “Didn’t you at least get taught something like that in Muggle School. I know you were only eleven when you stopped going there and instead went to Hogwarts, but you must have learned something on the subject. The Wizarding World uses it too, after all.” He frowned as she handed him a note with Tom Riddle’s full name on it and stared at it, trying to understand what hidden message could be in such a name. After some time, he started noticing a few letters could make other words… before his eyes widened in shock as he looked up to see Screwball smiling as she nodded. “Tom’s name says I Am Lord Voldemort?!” he looked from the message to the girl, shocked. “Tom Riddle was Voldemort?!” She nods. “Truthfully, I shouldn’t be telling you this, but you needed hope to get you through the next two years and having the faint memory of this in the background of your mind will help there.” He frowned. “What do you mean?” She sighed, putting her hands on her knees. “Harry, it’s like I said, I’m technically not supposed to mess with your world. I’m only able to do this because, the universe will erase your memory of our meeting the moment I leave.” His eyes widened and he stood up. “Why? Won’t I be in more danger from Voldemort if I can’t remember any of this?” “Ever heard of Doctor Who The Five Doctors? The Doctor’s past selves aren’t able to remember encounters with their future selves, because it would disrupt their personal timeline.” She gave a small smile. “Besides, that’s why I said your uncle unintentionally saves the world.” “And the other one?” he asked, actually a little curious now. Screwball shook her head. “In that one, you uncle wasn’t as stupid as the one in the main timeline and this one. He doesn’t try to hide you from the people who were coming for dinner. Instead, he simply had you out to help bring small foods and drinks. They started asking questions and you and you uncle were tactful in your answers. The two even felt sympathy for you when you aunt told them they were caring for you since you were a baby because your parents were murdered.” “They mentioned Voldemort killed my parents?!” Harry’s eyes widened. That wasn’t smart, that was outright stupidity. Why would his uncle in any timeline think telling Muggles his parents were murdered by a wizard was a good idea? Screwball waved a hand. “Oh, no, they don’t mention Voldemort by name.” Screwball frowned, rubbing her chin. “Do the Dursleys ever even learn Voldemort’s name?” She shook her head. “Not important. Anyway, because of that, your uncle gets a promotion and, because those two know of you, Vernon has to actually start treating you more like a member of the family and you all actually start to get along.” Harry snorted. “No, I’m serious,” Screwball shook her head, looking sincere. “Once they have to let you interact with other Muggles more regularly, they realize how much you actually respect their wishes. You don’t bring up your wizarding heritage or use it against them, especially when you admit you’re not actually allowed to use magic outside of Hogwarts since you live with them until you’re seventeen.” “And I’m supposed to believe they don’t use that against me?” Harry asked, his scepticism rising. “After you helped you uncle get that promotion, yeah, they stop holding it against you completely. And, once it’s time for you to head for Hogwarts, they see you off, actually willing to, if only slightly, interact with the wizarding families seeing their kids off.” She giggled. “The look on Dudley’s face when you just walked through the wall to Platform 9 ¾. You all don’t let him live it down for at least the next two years.” “So… what did Voldemort’s diary have to do with all this again?” Harry asked, realizing they’d moved away from that subject without finishing it. Screwball blinked, before nodding. “Oh, right. Well, in the original timeline, because you are pulled into a faker, Gilderoy Lockheart’s plans for a quick photo op and signal boast, Malfoy, who’s also in the store, confronts you, jealous. His dad stops him from taking things too far, but uses that opportunity to sneak the diary to Ginny Weasley without her knowing. The more she uses the diary over the school year, the more a younger version of Voldemort takes over her and steals her life-force. You stop it, of course.” “And… in this and that other branching timeline?” Screwball smirked. “Lucius had to think fast and just dumped the diary on the first wizarding child he could, a first year starting that year. Bad news for him was, unlike Ginny, the student in question wasn’t as nervous about things and outright told his parents about the diary when they found out it talks back to you because a piece of Voldemort is actually inside it.” Harry scratched his head. “How does that change things?” Screwball held up a finger, her smirk remaining. “His parents were Hogwarts alumnae from the time Tom was a student there and they knew he became Voldemort. So, what do you think former students who knew Tom Riddle was Voldemort did when their child told them they’d found a diary belonging to said dark wizard and that the diary talked back as if it were said dark wizard?” “Gave it to Dumbldore?” Harry guessed. How was he supposed to know? Streamers went off and the sound made when people won on game shows went off, his room flashing with multi coloured lights. “Dig, dig, dig! Got it in one, Harry.” Just as quickly, his room returned to normal. “They gave it to Dumbledore and he had a good idea what it really was right from the get go.” “And what was it?” Harry was really interested now. But Screwball shook her head. “Sorry, Harry. Spoilers. You’ll be brought up to speed by Dumbledore in due time, trust me.” He frowned. If she was going to wipe his memory when she left anyway, why not just tell him? “So, what happens without the diary?” Screwball grins. “The heir of Slytherin never opens the Chamber of Secrets.” Harry cocked an eyebrow. “The heir of…?” She giggled. “Harry, have you never wondered why that snake could understand you, back at the zoo?” He blinked, before cocking an eyebrow. “No. wasn’t that just becaudse I’m a wizard?” She folded her arms, shaking her head. “Nope. Harry, you’re a parselmouth, someone who speaks parseltongue, the language of snakes.” “Is… is that normal?” Harry asked, a little confused now. She shook her head again. “It’s a rare ability. You’re the only person outside the bloodline of Salazar Slytherin who has ever been able to speak parseltongue. It’s a bloodline trait, so you were an oddity to many when you started speaking it, many even thinking you were the heir of Slytherin. And, I suppose, if one were too look back far enough, since you are descended from a Pure Blood family, it is possible you both were in some way related.” “Pure Blood?” Harry felt with each answer, he was given more questions. “A witch or wizard without a drop of Muggle blood in their body,” she clarified. “Anyway, you’re not his heir. The only reason you speak the language of the snakes is because, the night Voldemort gave you that scar, he unintentionally gave you some of his powers too. Even once all is said and done, you can still speak the language, even after every trace of him is gone from this plain.” And now he was beyond confused. Screwball shook her head. “But I’m getting ahead of myself. Anyway, in both these branching timelines, the chamber never opens, so no student even thinks about you being Slytherin’s heir. Well, not until some students have done some studying and learn he spoke to snakes too. But, by the then the year’s almost over and it just means something cooler about you. “And… the next year?” Harry wondered if she’d even tell him that. To his surprise, her eyes lit up with excitement. “Oh, that’s where the small changes really start the snowball effect. In this timeline, you won’t be going back in your third year, but what happens at Hogwarts effects your future greatly and is why you’ll at least be going back the year after.” She giggled. “You become a new legend. The youngest Seeker in a century and the oldest second year in a decade.” He frowned. She got control of her giggles and continued. “Well, Harry, here’s where your past with Voldemort and the night he killed your parents comes back into your life. Did you know you have a Godfather?” Harry blinked. No. That was news to him. Screwball nodded. “Yep. His name is Sirus Black, but, because he was framed for a crime he didn’t commit, you never got to meet him.” Harry’s eyes widened. “What? Who framed him?!” Screwball’s face darkened. “A man both the wizarding and Muggle world think is dead. Peter Pettigrew, a man who used to be your parents’ friend. He framed Sirus for telling Voldemort where your parents were, allowing him to find them to murder you all. He also framed Sirus for his own murder.” Harry’s eyes widened further, before they narrowed and he snarled. “He did what?!” She nodded, arms folded. “Sirus has spent the last twelve years in Askaban Prison because of that traitor. However, next year, Sirus will break out of Askaban, intent on getting revenge. He’ll go to Hogwarts and severly injures him.” Harry blinked, shaking his head. “How does that clear him of murder charges?!” Screwball shook her head. “Well, it clears him of the first two charges because, once he’s out cold, Sirus uses his new want he won from a criminal wizard he came across on his travels to force Pettigrew to return to his human form and Sirus brings him to Dumbledore.” Harry cocked an eyebrow. “His human form?” She nodded. “For all these year, unbeknownst to the Weaselys, he’s been hiding in their home as Ron’s pet rat.” Harry’s eyes widened. “Scabus? Scabus was the man who betrayed my parents all these years?!” She nodded. “In the other timeline, it’s not as easy for Sirus, since you, Ron and Hermione interfere and almost caused him to escape, but, in the end, like in this timeline, Pettigrew is caught, Sirus cleared of all charges and he comes to live with you and the Durselys.” Harry blinked, before his eyes widened. “Wait. WHAT?” Screwball nodded, that smirk returning. “In the other timeline, they’re surprised and interested by his arrival and actually come to like him, appreciating the stories about your mother your aunt never knew since she’d cut ties with her.” “And… in my timeline?” he asked hopefully. Screwball chuckled. “Oh, your family are in for a right fright, Harry. Dumbledore, the troll that he is, decides to warn them about Sirus’ escaping Askaban… but only shortly after Pettigrew is captured and Sirus cleared. So, when he shows up on their doorstep…” Harry tried to stifle his laughter as he pictured the horrified expression on their faces. The two spent a few minutes laughing, before Screwball cleared her throat to continue. “With Sirus living here, your aunt and uncle start towing the line actually treating you like a member of the family, if reluctantly. Plus, with an adult wizard living here, you’re allowed to use your magic too, so long as it’s only within the house and provided you don’t let any Muggles outside the family see it. And, don’t worry about your friends. They stick by you, even as they advance in Hogwarts faster.” Harry tried picturing it, his Godfather living with him and how much better his life could be… before something Screwball mentioned at the beginning returned to his mind and he looked to her with a quizzical expression. “Wait. I thought you said my uncle unintentionally saves the world in both timelines. How does anything you’ve said do that?” Screwball grinned. “Because, since Pettigrew never escapes during what should be your third year, he doesn’t go to the house of Barty Crouch Senior with what remains of Voldemort in his arms to free Junior and therefore, Junior never helps Voldemort come back. Without that, Voldemort remains on his own all this time, unable to die, but helpless all the same thanks to the curse now upon him for killing that unicorn and drinking its blood last year.” Harry blinked, before putting a hand to his head. “Wait, wait, wait. Back up. So, are you saying, in the original timeline… Voldemort comes back?!” She nodded. “Thankfully, neither of the branching timelines have to worry about that. And, for reasons Dumbledore will explain to you several years from now, Voldemort will finally die. The world avoids the next Wizarding War and countless lives are saved.” Harry paused, mulling that over, before looking skeptically at her. “All this because my uncle in this timeline doesn’t let me go to Hogwarts for two years in a row?” She nods. “Like I said, Harry. Little changes, Big consequences.” She sighed, leaning back and stretching. “Not gonna lie, I needed this rest.” He gave her a quizzical look. She sighed again, rubbing her neck. “Let’s just say things have been pretty stressful in my world the last couple days and I needed a rest. Observing your timeline and the other one gave me the time and relaxation I needed.” “Wait. You’re going, already?” Harry became worried. He was going to be forgetting everything so soon? She nodded, before giving him an encouraging smile. “Don’t worry, Harry. It’s not all doom and gloom for you until next year. You know Mrs Fig?” Harry blinked, confused by the random topic, but thought for a moment, before nodding. “The old lady who smells like cats?” She nodded. “She’ll be in touch soon. When Dumbledore notices your absence at the entrance ceremony, he asks her to check in on you. Legally, he can’t make the Dursleys send you to Hogwarts, but since she lives nearby, she came ask your aunt and uncle to let you come over to do chores. They’ll think it makes things more unpleasant for you, but she’ll actually be the link between you and your friends for the next two years.” Harry cocked an eyebrow. “How? Wait. Mrs Fig knows Dumbledore? How? Why?” Screwball grinned. “She’s not a Muggle, Harry. She’s a Squib, a person born of wizarding parents, but without any magical abilities. Truth is, she’s been watching over you on Dumbledore’s request since the day you were left on you aunt and uncle’s doorstep.” Harry blinked, before a smile came to his face. “Really?” Screwball nodded, holding out a hand, Headwig, now somehow out of her cage, flying over and land on the girl’s outstretched fingers. “She’ll help you take care of Headwig, allowing her to fly free and deliver your messages to your friends until Sirus starts living with you.” She looked at him, winking. “Sneaky, huh?” Harry smiled, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I can live with that.” Screwball smiled, before giving the white owl a scratch under her beak. “Think you can wait a little longer for Harry, girl?” Headwig looked to the girl, before nodding, giving a small squawk. The girl smile, before looking to Harry with a sad smile. “Well, it’s time I headed home. Ready, Harry?” Harry took a deep breath, before nodding, his expression firm. Screwball nodded back, before holding up her other hand and snapped her fingers. Harry’s mind went fuzzy and he fell back onto his bed, fast asleep.