//------------------------------// // Whinnying Rabbit // Story: Shellstrings // by shortskirtsandexplosions //------------------------------// Outskirts of Appleloosa – Retreat – House "First thing's first," Tree Hugger purred as she trotted liquidly into the dimly-lit, dusty abode. Lush Saddle Arabian rugs stretched beneath her, and each doorframe dangled with bright red and green beads. "I'm going to need the four of you to do some breathing exercises for me." "Uhhhh..." Twinkleshine smiled nervously. "Alright." "Mmmmmmmm-mmmmm... alright..." Tree Hugger twirled around—teetered slightly in a sliver of sunlight—and rocked to a stop with an oozing smile. "Everypony... inhale." Her nostrils flared as she slowly waved her forelimbs in seagull motions. "One two three four..." Lyra, Twinkleshine, Minuette, and Lemon Hearts breathed in deeply. "Annnnnnd out two three four..." Tree Hugger wheezed. All four mares stood side by side, exhaling. "That's riiiiiiight..." Tree Hugger's eyes opened and closed sleepily. "And breath in... two three four... and out two three four... that's right." A beat. "Is everypony still standing?" "Erm... yeah?" Lyra remarked. "Good." Tree Hugger wandered over towards a curtained window. "That means we're in the cabin that's not filled with asbestos. I wouldn't wanna repeat that mistake. Total bummage, dude." "Ehehehe!" Minuette giggled, although it was a trembling, fragmented thing. "That's really funny!" She gulped. "I like therapists who st-start out a meditation session with a light hearted joke!" "Really? Awesome sauce. I need to make a note of that." Tree Hugger yanked the drapes away. Dust flew as hazy sunlight illuminated garish furniture and burnt-out lava lamps along with sporadic piles of half-finished sewing projects. "Sorry for the clutter. I make lots of money purses on the side. Lots and lots of money purses, ya dig?" "Yeah..." Lyra squinted at the various fabrics. "You ever... uh... finish any of them?" "Doesn't matter." Tree Hugger smiled into the dusty sunlight. "Nopony ever orders any." Braeburn wandered in. "Ah! I see this place is as homely as ever!" He glanced aside, brightening. "Oooh! Hoofbags!" "Now, if we're gonna tackle our weekly itinerary..." Tree Hugger pivoted to face the group, smiling from ear to ear. "Then I'm gonna to need to set you four up with daily planners. Once you've got your mind aligned with the here and now, then we can work on liberating the hidden hemisphere located within." The four mares exchanged glances, nodded, and looked forward. Tree Hugger smiled at them. Silence. The mares stirred. Tree Hugger smiled. Lyra cleared her throat. "Uhm... where are they?" "Where are what?" "The... uh... daily planners?" "Oh. Yes. We should get started with hoofing those out. Groovy." She pointed at Lyra, blinking. "Punctual as ever, Green Buds. I appreciate that." "Uhm... my name's not G—" "I shall go collect the focus crystals," Tree Hugger said, shuffling off into the other hallway on flighty hooves. "That way we can settle the erratic chaos in your chakras and assist them in realigning to the universal hum." "But what about the planners—" "Oh! They're in the cabinets! Be a dear, Green, and fetch them for me. That would be most righteous." "Uhhhhh... which cabinets?" Lyra squinted at the cluttered furniture lining the walls of the carpeted room. "The ones between the ten-legged elephant statues or the ones beneath the stack of Jefferson Airpony albums?" "Trust your inner spark!" Tree Hugger's voice dripped from the other room. "It shouldn't take you long to find!" "Yeah... uhm..." Lyra shrugged and trotted to the nearest cabin. She opened it up, blinking. It was full of twelve cartons of cereal. "The universe is like a giant puzzle with all the pieces trying desperately to fall into place, whether they know it or not!" Lyra wandered to the next cabinet. She opened it up, revealing even more cereal boxes. She threw a grimacing expression at Lemon Hearts over her shoulder. Lemon Hearts sighed impatiently, gesturing to the next compartment. "Think of enlightenment as a little old mare trying to find her house keys. It's a problem at first, but despite the illusory aches and pains, after much persistence she will eventually find a way to open her front door, and there's an eternal party happening inside the apartment. I mean the type where you get all the vanilla wafers you could ever ask for. Totally gnarly, if you catch my drizzle." "Uhhhhh..." Lyra opened cabinet after cabinet: cereal, cereal, cereal. "Don't you mean 'drift?'" "Nahhhhhh dude..." Tree Hugger trotted into the room, balancing four crystals atop a stack of folders. "'Drizzle.' As in droplets of truth that rain down on us from the heavens." She took a few seconds to blink and purred: "If you think about it, everything can be explained through precipitation. Except for sleet. Sleet is uncool." She smiled at Lyra. "Did you find the planners?" "Say... uh..." Braeburn pointed. "Ain't those the planners in yer hooves right there?" "Hmmmm?" Tree Hugger glanced at the folders balancing the crystal. "Oh! Sweet honey from the stars!" She grasped the items and waved them victoriously. "What did I tell you? Crystals, duuuuude." "Say... uhm..." Twinkleshine raised a hoof. "Not to be weird or anything... but exactly why do you have so much cereal?" "I used to room with a cow." "... ... ...oh." Twinkleshine blinked. "Alright..." Tree Hugger shuffled into the center of the room. "Gather around and let us introduce one another." She smiled as she squatted down, folding her hooves with alarming grace. "Terrestrial names, please. I'd tell you my celestial identity... but I don't want any minds blown just yet." "Mrmmmfff..." Lyra grunted, struggling to mimick Tree Hugger's pose as she rocked on the floor. "You don't say." She looked up. "What if we're used to having our brains shattered?" "Noooo, dude. I mean the rapturous kind of blown away." Tree Hugger's eyes slithered up towards Braeburn as she grinned. "Like how Bray Burns here melted the last time he escorted the Cloudsdalian hoofball team to my front door—" "Well then!" Sweating profusely, Braeburn tipped his hat and stumbled backwards towards the door. "Seems like y'all better get a head start! Eeyup! I... uh..." He bumped into bean bag. "Whoa! Eheheh... I'll be back at sundown to pick y'all ladies up! So... uhm..." He posed at the door and bowed, shivering. "Happy b-bug hunting!" Thud! The door shut. "Like terry cloth." Tree Hugger hummbed. "Could use with a rinse." "Yeah..." Lyra wheezed, her nose scrunching. She inched a bit away from the therapist so she could breathe better. "Not a bad idea, all things considered..."