Okay. That Explains SO MUCH of the Racism. Time I Change That.
___________________________________________________________
“Seriously, Thorax. This’ll really help with the lessons Twilight has planned later in the year,” I say, holding the small wand-like staff with a beetle holding an amber jewel.
The moose-looking Changeling nods. “I don’t understand why Queen Chrysalis hid away the Talisman of Mirage for all those years. Did she not understand its significance to our culture?”
I give him a deadpan raised eyebrow. “Thorax, remember, this is Cheese Legs we’re talking about.”
He opens his mouth to retort, but pauses, sighs and nods glumly. “You’re right.”
I gave me a small smile and pat him on the back. Poor guy.
Much as the Changelings are happier after deserting their former queen for a much more stable and realistic lifestyle where they can actually thrive as a species, it’s been made pretty clear that they do still feel guilty that they had to do it.
I mean, I can understand them. Cheese Legs is all their mother… technically.
Biologically, she’s their mother, but the Hive would always delegate specific Changelings as parents for a certain number of hatchlings per each new clutch. It’s why Pharynx and Thorax consider themselves direct brothers, as they were both raised by the same female Changeling.
“So, how excited is your representative student?” I ask, pocketing the Talisman of Mirage in my hip.
Thorax doesn’t even blink at the defying of physics. “She’s a little nervous,” he says, giving a warm smile, “but, I know, once she gets to know her fellow classmates, she should settle in fine.”
I nod, flicking my right hoof, a list appearing before me.
“Okay, let’s see if my Before The School Opens To Do List is done.”
1. Save Alternate Pinkie From Being Killed By Rainbow Dash X
2. Come in Secretly At the Last Second to Help Alternate Mane 6 and DD Stop Twilight’s Dark Side Before Shit Hits the Fan X
3. Save Alternate Rarity from Her Underground Prison X
4. Trick That Asshole Who Tries to Kill Ponies X
5. Help Alternate Dash teach Ditsy Doo’s Ungrateful Sister A Lesson in Loyalty X
6. Ensure Alternate Timeline Where Billy and Marie Keep In Contact X
7. Get Helm of Yksler X
8. Get Crown of Grover X
9. Get Knuckerbocker’s Shell X
10. Get Amulet of Aurora X
11. Get Talisman of Mirage X
“You put going to alternate universes before getting the artefacts?” Thorax asks, glancing over my shoulder at the list.
The list floats in front of me as I fold my forehooves, floating there, shrugging my shoulders.
“Time’s relative for a being of Chaos. From anyone else’s perspective, I went to get the helm seconds after Twilight requested I get them.” I frown, rubbing my chin. “Frankly, I’m surprised how easy it was to get the leaders of each species coming to the school to give those artefacts.”
“Who’s Billy and… what’s this about helping Applejack stop a Changeling invasion?” he asks, cocking his head.
“Billy’s a cat,” I shrug. “Well, technically, he’s a boy turned into a cat. In the timeline I visited though, he needed to stay in contact with his sister. The rest of the timeline flows exactly the same, but it was key he and his sister still be able to communicate. So, disguising myself as a flee, I convinced him to write “I’m the real Billy. Meet me tonight outside the junkyard, bringing lots of paper and paint. I’ll explain everything there.” right on her bedroom wall right in front of Marie.”
Thorax looks puzzled. “And that worked?”
I nod, grinning. “Well, yeah. Out of everyone else in that world, Marie had some competence.” My hoof turns into a hand and I rub my temple. “Seriously, no one ever figured out Billy was a tiger cub? Not even the freaking cat smugglers?”
“So… how’d they keep in contact?” Thorax asks, seeming genuinely interested now.
I shrug, my hoof returning. “Pretty casually. Every two or three nights, Marie would sneak out to the dump and interact with Billy and Mr. Hubert, even bringing them food. Sure, Billy never got to be human again, but his relationship with his sister was way better. And once he grew up?” I snicker. “Oh, that’s when things get good.”
Thorax smiles, before cocking an eyebrow. “So, um, exactly how many different species are going to be at the school?”
I shrug. “Counting your Changeling student, five. I personally think it’s a bit too small. I mean, we could include Kiren, maybe get Zecora to have a zebra come, Buffalo, maybe even a diamond dog. Plenty of other creatures here we could have. But, I also know Twilight. I think having to try to keep that many different creatures all interacting and staying on good terms would be too much, even for Princess Egghead.”
Thorax fails to stop himself snickering at the nickname.
“Whelp, that wraps things up here,” I say, stretching in the air. “See you at School Opening Day, Thorax.”
He nods and I teleport away.
___________________________________________________________
“It’s too much,” Dash shouts in exasperation as she hovers above us all in the main foyer of the School of Friendship. “Too much!”
Rarity sighs. “Ugh, you think so?” She glances down at her outfit, a simple blue shirt, deep purple dress. She’s also wearing a pair of purple glasses, with her mane tied back in a bun similar to the kind that Rarity from the Nightmare Moon timeline had, but much better. “I had hoped dressing the part would help me feel the part.”
Rainbow flies down to her. “Not your dress! This!” She indicates around us. “Us!” She motions to each of us in turn. “Teaching?!” She puts a foreleg over her face similar to Rarity when she’s overacting. “They’re gonna think I’m an egghead!”
I float up to Dash, giving her a deadpan stare. “Dash, you read the Daring Do books. You already are, as you put it, an egghead.”
She gives me a dirty look.
Yep. Today’s the day we open the School of Friendship… which I now know was the building I saw that time I accidentally overshot the timeline and ended up in the future.
Pinkie Pie pushes her party cannon up, causing Dash to back up mid-air, the pink mare already inside said cannon. “Well, the students are gonna love my confetti cannon class. It’s gonna be...” she’s shot into the air in a shower of confetti and steamers, “a blast!”
Applejack glances around, looking just as uncertain as eveyrpony but Pinkie and myself. “I don’t know about all this.”
Twilight moves to stand in front of all of us. “It’s going to be fine. Everything about this school just feels right.”
“See?” Starlight says reassuringly, levitating several schedules meant for the students. “If Twilight isn’t stressed, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”
I frown. Actually, I think that gives me more of a reason for concern.
Applejack, the others and I gather together, herself still not looking convinced. “And you’re sure you want us to be teachers? In classrooms?”
Twilight nods, holding up and tapping the book. “The EEA is very clear on how schools should be run. We have a huge responsibility, and I need you all to do this by the book.” She looks firmly at the party mare. “That means no cannons in class, Pinkie.”
Pinkie pouts. “Awww.” Then she smiles. “Not even a,” she pitches her voice higher, “teeny cannon?
She holds out her hoof, which has a cute tiny party cannon that fires.
Twilight looks around at us all, determined. “I know it’s not some big adventure against the forces of evil, but this could be the most important thing we’ve ever done. I can’t run a school of friendship without my best friends. Can I count on you?”
The others all give their affirmations, Dash even reluctantly saying, “Call me Professor Egghead. I’m in!”
Oh, I will be calling you that, Dash, now you’ve given the okay. I’ll even be sure to make sure several of the students call you that too.
The school bell rings, causing Pinkie to scream in excitement. “First day at school! So many new ponies!”
Wait, ponies? Did Twilight not tell her?
Twilight gives a coy smile that makes me annoyed. “About that. One thing I forgot to mention. It’s not just ponies.”
The doors opens, the new students chattering as they walk in. among the ponies are a dragon, hippogriff, griffin, Changeling and a yak.
Pinkie blinks in surprise, the rest of the group sharing her reaction while I’m glaring at our Headmare. “That was unexpected.”
She seriously didn’t inform them we’d be having non-pony students? The fuck, Twilight?
After a few minutes of everyone milling around, Twilight steps up to the front and gets everyone’s attention. “Welcome to the School of Friendship! I’m your Headmare Twilight Sparkle. Please follow Guidance Counsellor Starlight,” she indicates to where Starlight and Spike and standing with the papers from earlier, “to sign in and get your class assignments. Then we can show you your living quarters.”
“Whoa, sorry!” I cock my head in confusion of hearing Vincent Tong’s voice and glance down from where I’m floating to see a green pony with a darker green mane and tail and three turtles for a Cutie Mark standing next a griffin with Wonderbolt uniform colours. “I’m Sandbar. Are you a student here, too?”
The griffin rolls his eyes. “No,” he says sarcastically, “I just figured I’d randomly stand here and see how many ponies would walk into me.” He huffs.
“Gallus!” a voice shouts, causing the griffin to wilt and he starts walking away, looking rather sad.
Glancing around, I’m surprised to see an old buzzard of a griffin standing there, wheezing.
Rainbow Dash flies over to him. “Grandpa Gruff? What are you doing here?”
I blink. Oh, right. In the student registrations I had seen Grampa Gruff mentioned as a reference for our griffin student, Gallus.
Gruff indicates to the younger griffin. “Flew all the way from Griffonstone to introduce Gallus.”
Gallus looks to the Pegasus. “Rainbow Dash, right? Gilda told me about you. You’re a teacher? Huh. Thought you’d be...” he leans in with a smirk, “cooler.”
I start snickering, only to lose my focus and drop to the floor when the door suddenly slams open, followed by a loud voice yelling, “Ponies!”
I watch as Pinkie meets with the yak prince and is introduced to our yak student, Yona… who I’m now recognizing is that Betty Deville yak I saw the time I accidentally overshot the timeline and ended up in the future.
Good thing I didn’t explore or anything there. I don’t need to know how that happened, only to have to watch out to make sure the timeline works out. Not again.
I can’t help wincing as Yona almost causes several accidents, though, Applejack having to rein her in.
“But dragons are better than this!” a gruff female voice says and I turn to see Ember dragging a… Scootaloo coloured (?) dragon who folds her arms, pouting. “Why am I here?”
Ember roughly releases her hold, pointing in the young dragon’s face. “Because as Dragon Lord, I’m ordering you to be here!” Her expression turns to a smile as she spots Spike and me, waving us over. “Hey, Spike! Screwball! Come meet Smolder.”
We head over, Spike hugging the larger dragon, saying, “Great to see you, Ember!” then his tone changes. “Uh, which one is Smolder?”
Confused myself by his words, I glance to the orange dragon… only to see another, taller brownish-yellow dragon with brown hair (yes, hair, not frills) standing next to her.
“Ocellus!” Thorax says in a firm tone, walking into view. “What did we talk about?”
There’s a flash of Changeling transformation and in the other dragon’s place is a light-cyan Changeling with a red frill and tail and back.
Thorax leans down, his tone less firm. “I told you, stay in your own form. It’s the polite thing to do. Sorry, she’s shy.”
I shake my head. “I change forms all the time, Thorax. If she wants to take on another appearance, we’re hardly going to take offence to —”
“What is that?!” a loud voice shouts excitedly.
Ocellus suddenly looks scared, turning into a yellow pony with a build similar to Snails’, with a drooping green mane and a ladybug for a Cutie Mark.
She runs off, hiding under Fluttershy’s mane as the hippogriff flies over us.
“No way!” the hippogriff stops in front of the two. She’s pink with a two-tone white and light-blue mane and tail. “I didn’t know ponies could turn into... um... What are you?”
Thorax steps in. “A Changeling.”
The hippogriff’s eyes widen in shock and awe. “Ponies can turn into Changelings?!”
Fluttershy shakes her head, rubbing Ocellus’ head gently to calm her, which she does, giving a small smile. “No, but Changelings can turn into ponies.”
The hippogriff scratches her head. “Huh. That’s confusing!”
Another hippogriff, this one a tall purple one with a similar mane and tail colour to the young one, only slightly darker lands, causing Ocellus to back up under Thorax, returning to her base form.
“I am General Seaspray of Her Majesty Queen Novo’s navy,” the taller hippogriff says, indicating to the younger one. “I would like to introduce the queen’s niece, Silverstream.”
Silverstream leaps into the air, waving her arms about. “This place is amazing! I’ve spent most of my life in a coral reef underwater. I was a Seapony, but now I’m a Hippogriff. Long story. Anyway— wow! Is that a yak?!”
She flies off and I’m deadpanning.
Great. Another Pinkie Pie. Does every species in this world have one? We’ve already got two counting Weird Al pony.
Everyone continues chatting and milling around for a few more minutes before Twilight gets everyone’s attention again.
“Thank you so much for supporting the grand opening of our school. I hope you’ll all join us for Friends and Family Day to see the amazing progress your students are making.”
Everyone cheers and, with that, day one of the School of Friendship begins… with a musical number.
You know, much as people joke about it, I don’t think they realize how odd the musicals are.
By that I mean, when you’re living in the world they’re in… it’s incredibly bizarre.
For example… this musical is just stopping randomly, everyone acting like it never happened, then continuing on at another random point.
It happens all day, stopping shortly after everyone comes to my class. Sadly, I only get the pony students, but the next day I come to the school and hear the song started again, once again finishing as my class with the non-pony students is about to begin.
Considering how well yesterday went though, things should be perfectly fine.
The students walk in, looking around in confusion.
Understandable, I guess, since barely any of the desks are in the centre of the room. They’re dotted around, on the ceiling, the walls and the blackboard is crocked.
“Um… did we come to the right place?” Smolder asks, glancing around.
“Are the seats on the ceiling meant for those of us who can fly?” Gallus asks, glancing from himself to the rest of the students. “Because there aren’t nearly enough of us with wings for that to work.”
“Hardly.”
They all look up again, their eyes bugging out when they see me just walking on the ceiling.
“Welcome to Friendship Chaos Theory, everyone,” I tip my hat.
“Wait. You’re a teacher?” Gallus asks, looking very sceptical.
“How?” Yona cocks her head. “Pony not much older than us.”
I smirk, teleporting to my desk, now an adult. “As the Princess of Chaos, age is a relative concept.”
“Wait. That Yona’s desk?” the yak points to one of the desks on the ceiling.
I smirk. “Chaos, my dear Yona. I think that should explain it enough. Everyone find your seats and we will begin.”
They all look to each other with uncertainty, but move towards their desks, Yona, a unicorn mare and Gallus walking up the wall to sit in the ones on the ceiling, Ocellus and Silverstream taking their seats on the left wall and everyone else sitting in their desks, which are scattered around the floor.
“How does Chaos work with friendship?” Gallus asks once everyone’s seated. “Wasn’t there something about Chaos nearly ending Equestria several years ago or something? I remember hearing Gilda mention it at some point.”
I nod, a crude picture of DD during that point. “Yep. That was my dad, Discord. It’s a long story, but, something I’ve learned since my time as the Princess of Chaos is chaos is a key part of friendship. You can’t have harmony without chaos and vise versa.”
“How is friendship chaos if it’s harmony?” Ocellus asks, before wilting a little. Gonna have to help her out of that shell.
I blink and inwardly snicker. Bug pun.
Clearing my throat, I look around at them all. “Can any of you say the friendships you’ve had in the past have been 100% harmony? That you never once ended up in a fight or had misunderstandings that spiralled out of control, only for you to make up later, sometimes with your friendship stronger than ever?”
All the students look around at each other, before shaking their heads.
I nod, standing up on two legs. “Exactly. Friendship is just as much chaos as it is harmony. You can’t have one without the other.”
I’m about to say more, when Twilight suddenly teleports into the room, holding her copy of the EEA guidebook and I realize, with announce, the song is happening again.
She magically teleports all the desks back into the centre of the room in neat rows.
“Wait, hold on! Not like that! Just a second!
I’m not sure if that method’s approved
Let me take a look – yup, right here in the book.”
I glare, shifting my hoof into a hand.
“Twilight, don’t screw with my groove!”
Twilight is teleported out of the room and every returned to how it was before she interfered with my class.
___________________________________________________________
Things, unfortunately, gone downhill from there.
Twilight starts trying to make everything match exactly to the EEA guidelines. Down to the letter.
The students clearly stop enjoying their classes. In fact, my classes are the only time I really see any of the students smiling or having fun when not outside of lessons because I’m the only one who keeps going against Twilight’s wishes to make my classes adhere to the EEA guidelines.
Her friends are just too kind hearted to confront her about it and the other teachers respect her too much as a princess to say even a word against her.
I sigh as I walk down the hall, remembering the sad looks on the students’ faces as they were leaving my last class.
If we don’t do something soon, the students aren’t going to want to keep coming and they’ll pull out of the school altogether.
Not only would that not help with the plans of building stronger relations with our allies, but it would break Twilight’s heart way worse than being told she’s doing things the wrong way.
“Okay, break it up! Break... it... up!”
I’m pulled from my inner musings by Dash’s shout.
I hurry down the hall to find Applejack… has Gallus roped in a lasso? The heck?
“Everypony—” the farmer begins, stopping herself and shaking her head. “I mean, everyone, go to your next class!” She thrusts a forelimb out and the students split off towards their own classes. “I just can’t believe it. Fights breakin’ out when they’re supposed to be learnin’ friendship?
Starlight gives an uncertain look. “Things definitely aren’t going as by the book as Twilight planned.”
Rainbow sighs. “That’s because we’re terrible teachers! Face it. This school isn’t gonna work.”
“I think it’s more that Twilight’s desires to do everything by the book won’t work in a school system like the one we’re using,” I say, shaking my head. “I can’t teach Chaos theory without the Chaos? That’s just not possible. It’s like being taught how to breathe without air. But that book says I have to teach chaos without chaos. It’s designed for a very specific type of schooling and that’s not what we’re doing here.”
“What can we do?” Applejack looks to me.
I give her a firm look. “We tell Twilight exactly that.”
So, the next day, before school starts, we meet up with the others and all head to Twilight’s office and explain how all the classes are going wrong and how the students aren’t enjoying being at the school.
Twilight looks around at each of us calmly. “I get it. Things are getting off to a rougher start than expected. But that’s okay!”
I give her a cocked eyebrow.
Spike hops onto the desk and grabs her face, examining it closely. “Who are you, and what have you done with Twilight Sparkle?”
Twilight gives him a deadpan look, lights her horn and levitates him down while lifting the EEA guideline book onto the desk. “Every school in Equestria follows these rules. As long as we do too, we’ll be fine.”
I just stare at her. Did she not hear what we’ve been saying fo the last couple minutes?
“Maybe we should... try something new?” Starlight suggests.
Twilight gives us all a firm look. “The EEA will be here this afternoon for Friends and Family Day. They need to see a school that follows their guidelines.”
Fluttershy looks down at the floor nervously. “Even if those guidelines... aren’t working?”
“Well, then we have to try harder and make sure they do,” Twilight punctures her last word by firmly slamming her hoof on the guidelines book.
I open my mouth, but am cut off when the bell rings.
“Another morning, another chance to inspire our students!” Twilight says cheerily.
The others all gives her disappointed looks and head out… but I stay.
“Screwball?” Twilight cocks an eyebrow at my not leaving.
“I’ve a double handling class,” I say flatly, giving her a look that should tell her how displeased I am. “Twilight, this isn’t going to work.”
She cocks her head. “What won’t work?”
I glare, waving a forelimb around us. “This school! Twilight, this school is supposed to teach friendship and cooperation, but you’re trying to do so by following strict guidelines that are clearly meant for only one type of learning!”
She gives me a reassuring smile that actually makes me feel offended. “Screwball, it may seem like things aren’t going well right now, but they’ll improve.”
I growl. “Twilight, following those guidelines is making the students unhappy! You wanna know why? Because not every creature learns things the same way as others! I know, my first high school when I was human was horrible because they tried to teach me like I didn’t have a disability, when I did! Any time I struggled to learn because of my disability, I was treated like I was intentionally not doing the work for the lols.”
“It… couldn’t have been that bad, surely?” Twilight suggests.
“The amount of times I got detention for Not putting in the effort when I couldn’t actually understand the lesson were so numerus, I stopped wanting to go there and my parents had to move me into another school altogether!” I stomp my hoof, before pointing at her. “And, if things don’t change, the same is going to happen with all our students, Twilight. Think about that.”
I stomp out, too angry and disappointed to even bother floating.
___________________________________________________________
“Thank you so much for inviting me, Screwy,” Discord says as we walk with the students heading outside as the full Friends and Family Day meeting.
“To Friends and Family Day or as a guest lecturer on Chaos?” I smirk up at him.
He grins. “Both.”
As we reach outside I notice the unicorn Chancellor Neighsay with a very nervous looking Twilight.
Glancing around, I frown with worry.
“What’s wrong, Screwy?” Discord asks.
“The non-pony students,” I murmur, glancing around. “I don’t see them. Gimme a sec to… okay?”
“What is it?” he asks, but I shake my head.
We head into the crowd, Discord chatting with Grandpa Gruff and Thorax specifically.
Things are going fine for a bit… until I hear Ember’s voice call out, “What is that?!”
Before I can answer, the said missing students appear, with Ocellus in the form of some kind of bug.
Everybody starts screaming and running.
“Aah!” the cry makes me look… to deadpan as Neighsay cowers like a wimp behind Twilight. “The school is under attack!”
Shaking my head, I turn to see Gallus lose his grip on Sandbar as a Pegasus shoots past him, causing him to drop Sandbar, sending the Earth Pony rolling down, slamming into Sea Spay, Rutherford and Thorax… the latter wobbling like a bowling pin before flopping to the ground like one.
Ocellus, still in her large disguise, trying to avoid several pegasi flying about, causing her to slam into a tower, reverting back to her original form and dropping, the top of the tower falling too, slamming into the ground, kicking up tones of dust.
When the dust finally clears, everything’s a mess. The tower top on the ground is destroyed, the banners and food placements are ruined and everyone is scattered about.
“Uh, maybe skipping class wasn’t the best idea?” Silver Stream says uncertainly as she and the rest of the group try to right themselves.
I deadpan. Ya think?
“How dare you!” Neighsay’s voice makes me glance to him as he glares at the students. “This act of aggression against ponies—!”
Act of aggression against ponies? The heck is he on about?
“I-I’m so sorry, Chancellor,” Twilight cuts him off, before giving a displeased look to the students. “We clearly had some students get a little carried away.”
Neighsay’s expression becomes… shocked anger? “Those are students?”
I frown. Why don’t I like the way he said that.
“But you said you were opening this school to protect Equestria!” Neighsay says accusingly to Twilight. “To defend ponies from...” he points to Sea Spay, Rutherford, Grandpa Gruff and Thorax, “dangerous creatures who don’t have our best interests at heart!
“Excuse me, WHAT?!” I yell, glaring at him.
Twilight’s expression becomes firm. “My school teaches for all of us to work together through friendship.”
Neighsay gives her a look as if she’s just said something stupid. “And how do you know these creatures won’t take what they have learned here and use it against us?” he finishes by stomping a hoof.
Twilight is getting angrier now too, as she’s mirroring my expression. “Friendship isn’t just for ponies!”
Neighsay steps closer to her. “It should be.”
I’m sorry… what?!
“Unicorn think yaks no need friendship?” Prince Rutherford shouts, before stomping up to the unicorn and yelling into his face, causing his mane to fly in the wind it creates. “Maybe yaks no need pony school!”
Neighsay gives him a very disgusted look, before shoving the yak. “Well, perhaps you should return to your kind.”
“Your kind?!” I scream, Ember, who was snarling, pausing as she looks to me.
Neighsay turns, giving me a “I am superior and clearly you do not understand that” kind of look. “And, you are?”
I cock an eyebrow. “Really? The clearly racist head of the EEA doesn’t know the Princess of Chaos when she’s standing right in front of him.”
His expression changes to mild confusion and annoyance. “Racist? Hardly. I am merely looking out for my fellow ponies, of which you are and clearly not the Princess of Chaos.”
My anger takes a temporary backseat to utter confusion. “Um… come again?”
Not the Princess of Chaos? How in the wide world of Equestria does this guy not know I’m the Princess of Chaos on sight? I haven’t exactly tried to hide it. Almost everywhere I’ve gone in Equestria, ponies and non-ponies alike have recognized me within moments.
“The Princess of Chaos is her father’s daughter,” he points towards Discord, whom is standing next to Fluttershy. “Do you honestly believe that creature would have a pony for a child?”
I shift into my anthro form.
Neighsay just stares.
I walk up to him, pressing my finger, hard, against his snout. “Now all the racism I’ve seen towards anything not a pony throughout all of Equestria all these years finally makes sense. It was you, the head of the EEA, poisoning the minds of generations of ponies into your bigoted mindset. No wonder even Zecora, who has a form so similar to ponies, yet slightly different, was treated with such fear and disrespect, just because she was not the way other ponies are!”
“If you truly are the Princess of Chaos, you have no right trying to lecture a pony!” Neighsay bats my arm away. “I am closing down this school. It’s ideals are a threat to all Equestria!” He finishes by giving me a look he clearly has to many before that has caused them to back down in the past.
But, if he thinks it’s going to work on me, me, a being who could erase his existence with but a mere thought if I were so inclined, he has a whole other thing coming.
Twilight looks shocked for a moment, as if remembering something, before her expression firms and she walks up to the unicorn. “Princess Celestia helped me reach out to all the kingdoms! When she hears you closed the school because—!
Neighsay points at her. “Because you failed to meet the EEA’s standards?”
Twilight’s expression goes from shocked to confused. “What?!”
Neighsay gives her a look that says “you’re an idiot” that makes me want to rearrange his internal organs and I would be if Discord wasn’t holding me back now, my form quadruped again. “Irresponsible teachers, students skipping class, endangering ponies! Your school is a disaster.” He gives her a “I’m superior to you” look. “Perhaps if you had had higher standards for who was admitted, this could have been avoided. Regardless…”
The looks of anger that pass over the other creatures’ faces shows they want to attack him for that, but Ember is the one who holds up a hand to keep them from reacting.
I can tell she’s noticed my anger is rising and knows it’s best to keep a distance.
Neighsay walks to face the school, pressing his hoof to a medallion around his neck. Orange magic flows from it into his horn, then flies towards the school.
Blue magical chains form around it and a lock appears over the front, blocking entry.
Neighsay turns to us. “By order of the EEA, I am shutting this school...” he stomps his hoof, “down!”
“On what ground, you fucking asshole!”
Discord has let go of me and I’m now in the unicorn’s face.
“I stated my reasons,” he says firmly. “I have no need to explain further, especially to a creature like you.”
“Um, yes, you do!” I yell, shifting into my anthro form again, glaring down at him, pointing into his chest firmly. “You have no fucking right to shut this school down nor the right to talk to our friends or our students like that, you racist piece of shit!”
He just glares back at me. “So, you’re not really a pony and you were supposed to be a teacher here? All the more reason the EEA is justified in shutting this school down.”
My hair is billowing around me as I find myself torn between containing my rage and unleashing it all at once.
“I… really wouldn’t want to be him right now,” I can hear Discord murmur.
“And what does not being a pony have to do with anything, you xenophobic shithead?!” I snarl. “Ponies aren’t the only creatures in this world, you know?!”
“Those creatures are enemies of Equerstria!” Neighsay points to the gathered group.
I just stare at him for a moment, before I uppercut him, then grab him by the collar and get right in his face.
“They’re our allies, you stupid cuck! Why do you think Twilight’s been working so hard to forge bonds with them, for the lolz? No. Because they’re not our enemies. They’re our allies! And you have no right to close the school simply because they’re going there. And that’s not even getting into your other stupid as shit reasons!”
He just scoffs at me. “Name one reason I listed that is stupid.”
A list appears next to me. “Irresponsible teachers? So, Dash not having her students come to class once, just fucking once, suddenly makes her and every teacher in the school irresponsible? How is Dash alone even remotely irresponsible? The moment her students didn’t come to class, she went looking for them! An irresponsible teacher wouldn’t have done that!”
“I… well… I guess you might have a point, there,” Neighsay says, clearly not liking to admit he’s in the wrong. “I might have jumped to conclusions a little there, but what of my other reasons?” he finishes with a smirk that says he’s won. “What of the students skipping class?”
I give him a “you are so fucking stupid” look. “Students skipping class? Not only is this the first time it’s happened in our school, do you honestly not know that happens in every school?! If schools could be closed down just because some students skipped class, there wouldn’t be any schools left, you freaking moron!”
He genuinely looks like he hates how I’ve proven him wrong, before he sneers. “Endangering ponies? Are you really going to tell me that is okay too?”
I shake my head in exasperation. “The students had an accident. A simple accident. What, do you think they planned on causing that damage? That it was what they’d intended from day one?”
Neighsay opens his mouth, before pausing and closes it.
I deadpan. “Oh, Sweet Celestia, you actually did. You thought children had planned to cause damage to a school that they enjoyed” for the most part “being at. Children!”
“When I arrived, Twilight was unprepared for my arrival,” Neighsay says, his expressuion saying he thinks he’s gotten the upper hand.
He is so wrong.
“You mean that sudden portal you opened in the middle of the school courtyard?” I ask, his eyebrows rising, indicating he didn’t know I knew about that. “I’m the Princess of Chaos. Of course I’d notice a random portal opening up in our school. And of course Twilight wasn’t prepared for your arrival. You never said you’d be arrivaling by a random portal in the middle of the school! How, in the wide world of Equestria, was she supposed to be prepared for that?”
He doesn’t say anything.
I snort, before glancing around and notice all the students are gone.
I would worry, before I spot Discord mouthing “I sent them inside” and I inwardly sigh with relief.
Much as I do think seeing a pony standing up for non-ponies would be good for them… my language choices aren’t exactly something I want the students to hear.
“You also can’t close the school because you don’t speak for the entire EEA,” I say, more calmly, folding my arms.
The unicorn scoffs. “I do indeed.”
I cock an eyebrow, snapping my fingers.
Suddenly nine more unicorns, mares and stallions, wearing robes like Neighsay’s appear around said unicorn and myself, him suddenly looking just as uncertain as the nine ponies who have found themselves yanked from whatever they’d been doing before to suddenly standing outside the School of Friendship.
“Esteemed members of the EEA,” I say, causing them all to turn to face me, now back in quadruped form and floating in the air, “I’ve called you here to ask a simple question. When the matter of whether a school should be closed down is addressed, is one pony allowed to make all the decisions or is it discussed amongst yourselves?”
They all give me a very perplexed and annoyed look, as if I just asked one of the dumbest questions in the world.
A yellow unicorn mare with yellow eyes and a two-toned blue mane and tail is the one to speak. “Of course not, Princess Screwball,” she says, shaking her head. “We look over any issues the school may have, weigh them against the positives and decide, after a vote, either to give the school a chance to fix its problems or it will be shut down, or, if the problems are already too big, shut it down immediately.”
“Interesting,” I say, looking pointedly at Neighsay, before indicating towards the school. “Because Chancellor Neighsay here, saying he was doing so by the order of the EEA, meaning he was speaking for all of you in that moment without consulting you at all, just shut our school down moments ago and simply because we teach non-ponies here as well as ponies.”
“Wait, what?” They all turn to Neighsay, who looks from one of them to the other.
“It is not so simple!” he says, quickly levitating a list. “I have listed all the reasons this school is unfit for EEA approval.”
“Then we shall all meet to discuss the matter and go over each item on that list to decide, as a committee, whether this school should remain open,” the unicorn mares says, taking the list in her own blue magical aura and looking to Twilight. “Your Highness, I apologize for the inconvenience, but, until this matter is resolved and we can truly determine whether or not your school should be approved, your school will temporarily be suspended. I hope that isn’t too much trouble?”
Twilight looks crestfallen, but nods. “Thank you. I would rather not close the school at all, but, if it is only temporary, I understand.”
The unicorns all nod and leave, Neighsay giving Twilight and myself a nasty look, before following after them, a clone of myself following behind them to correct Neighsay whenever he spouts BS during their debate about the school’s future.
Twilight, still looking a little crestfallen, turns to address everyone. “Well, until further notice, all students must return home. We will send word when we hear back from the EEA about whether our school remains open or not.”
Rutherford, Ember and Sea Spray nod, indicating for Yona, Smolder and Silver Stream to follow, who, reluctantly, do so.
“Well, this place seemed lame anyways,” Grampa Gruff snorts, his words suggesting he assumes the school won’t be reopening, before heading off, Gallus slowly following behind.
Thorax walks up to Twilight, despondently saying, “It’s fine. We know not every pony sees us the way you do.” He and Ocellus open their backs and fly off. “We’re used to it.”
___________________________________________________________
A few days pass, with no word from the EEA on whether or school is or isn’t approved. My clone self had returned after detailing all the reason Neighsay’s “logical” reasons were BS, but before the actual vote had been made, so I don’t know the outcome myself and, out of respect for Twilight, I haven’t tried to find out ahead of time.
Currently I’m in Sea Pony form, just swimming in the mote outside the school.
I just felt like it.
As I turn to look upward, I notice a pair of lavender and light-purple silhouettes above the water.
Guess Starlight was able to get Twilight to stop pillow-fort pouting.
I breach the surface as Twilight says, “But the EEA rulebook—”
“Doesn’t matter!”
Yikes! I barely have time to register Starlight’s words before I have to duck to the right as said rulebook nearly whacks me on the head as Starlight knocks it out of the Alicorn’s magical grip, causing it to hit the water and sink to the bottom.
Starlight looks determinedly at Twilight. “You can write your own rules! Because you are doing something new. Something important!”
I nod, floating out of the water in my regular form. “She’s got ya there, Sparkle. Schools each have their own rules next to the usual ones all school’s must adhere to. Your school doesn’t have to be exactly how another is, especially one approved by that racist jerkwad.”
Twilight looks uncertain for a moment, before her eyes light up. “You’re right, both of you! Why we’re doing this is way more important than how we’re doing this!” She stomps her hoof. “And we are doing this!”
Starlight smirks. “Now, that’s the Twilight I know. How can I help?”
“And me?” I grin, folding my forelegs.
Twilight smiles. “You already have.” She pulls us into a hug.
Things start to go well after that.
We go to Spike and the rest of the Mane 6, explaining how and why we’re reopening the school, including Twilight and myself going to Canterlot to find out whether we actually are reopening, though I’m certain we should be, since Neighsay’s arguments against our school didn’t hold even a single drop of water.
We also explain that they’re going to be able to teach the way they want, not having to everything exactly by the EEA book.
After finalizing things out, we agree that Starlight will go round up the other teachers and, while Twilight, Spike and myself are in Canterlot, the rest of the Mane 6 will go to the other kingdoms for our non-pony students.
That last part… is where we hit a snag. Apparently, all five of those students have gone missing, with no one in their kingdoms knowing where they’ve gone.
So, the day after Twilight, Spike and I go to Canterlot, learning we did indeed get EEA approval, which makes me wonder why we hadn’t yet been informed when the decision was made two days before we went to Canterlot, Twilight, Spike and myself are still in Canterlot.
We’re currently in the throne room, the representatives of each kingdom standing before us.
“Where Yona?!” Prince Rutherford, unnecessarily, yells. “This all pony’s fault!”
Ember get right in his face. “You’re pretty quick to blame them! What are you hiding, yak?!”
Prince Rutherford snorts in her face.
Thorax places a gentle hoof on Ember, somewhat calmly the two down. “C-can... Can we just focus on finding our lost students?”
“Nice try!” Grampa Gruff yells, looking Thorax in the eyes with his good one. “You grubs are probably hidin’ the whole lot of ‘em!”
“Please, everycreature!” Princess Celestia calls out, getting their attention. “If you can just explain what happened...”
Sea Spray steps forward. “The students left us notes before they disappeared. When the school closed, they feared it would be permanent and didn’t want to say goodbye to each other. They claim they ran away to stay together.”
Twilight’s eyes light up. “I can’t believe it! They did learn friendship!”
There’s a pause as we all look to her.
Twilight blushes. “Sorry.”
“The students couldn’t have done this by themselves,” Sea Spray says… oddly. “Some creature is hiding them! If the niece of our queen is not found soon, I promise there will be retribution!”
Huh?
“Yeah?” Ember yells, flying up and briefly fire in front of Sea Spray’s face. “Well, my dragons will burn every kingdom until we find which of you is hiding Smolder!”
Grampa Gruff gets in Ember’s face. “Tell it to the griffon army!”
Um, what army?
Prince Rutherford gets between the both of them. “Yaks fight griffons and dragons!”
I groan, rubbing my forehead with a hoof.
“What are you up to, shapeshifter?!” Ember’s yell makes me look to her and Thorax as the latter looks with confused hurt.
“B-But we’re friends!”
Princess Celestia leans towards her former student. “Find the students quickly, Twilight, or I fear our world will be at war!”
Twilight flies off with Spike on her back.
“ENOUGH!” I yell, my voice booming and bouncing around the throne room, causing all to duck, covering their ears.
They all look to me, before wilting slightly under my stern gaze.
I’m looking down at them all the way a disappointed parents looks at their children.
“Are you all leaders/representatives of your kingdoms or children?!” I ask, poofing the letter from Sea Spray and quickly reading it over. “You say the students left you letters explaining everything, yet act as if they didn’t. Why? Why would any of our kingdoms hide the students like this? Do any of you genuinely believe this would happen in any of your kingdoms?”
None of them say anything, just scuffing the ground.
“You’re all talking as if this is something any of us would do deliberately,” I continue, taking on my anthro form and putting my hands behind my back as I walk back and forth in front of them. “On top of that, you blame the kingdoms when the students have made it clear this was their decision. Equestria, and I’m pretty sure all of your kingdoms, weren’t even aware each other’s student was missing because you were focusing only on your own student. Am I right?”
Silence is my answer.
“You can’t go blaming each other for something the children have decided to do. This was their choice, no one else’s.” I snarl. “You also shouldn’t be threatening fucking war over this!”
They all look taken aback by my anger.
I glare down at them. “I honestly don’t know how much war any one of you has been through in your lives, but I have! Do you know how many alternate timelines I’ve been to where war is present? I’ve lost count! I’ve been in war. I know how horrible it is and for you, all of you, to threaten war over something so small… Do you think you even have the right to represent your kingdoms now after that?”
“Small?!” Grandpa Gruff shouts.
I’ve suddenly my face pressed right up against his, making him squawk in fright.
“Yes! Small. We know the students are together. That means they’ll look out for each other. We also know they wouldn’t go somewhere they think isn’t safe. But, not even considering that, you’re all just proving Neighsay right!”
“WHAT?” all save Thorax yell in anger.
“You’re all threatening war over something so small!” I point to each of them in turn. “Considering all the racist rhetoric Neighsay was spewing at you, you’re making him sound like he’s right. Think about that!”
There’s a long pause as each of them apparently does do that, before they seem to fully process that.
Ember and Sea Spray look annoyed at themselves, Rutherford looks embarrassed, Thorax looks sheepish and Grandpa Gruff shows he understands, but doesn’t want to admit it.
“Now, if you all want to start acting like adults again instead of behaving like children,” I look each of them over, back atop the steps, “we can find your students.”
“How ponies find Yona if yaks not find Yona?” the yak prince asks.
“Well, if you give Twilight and the others time, we should be able to… huh,” I pause, rubbing my chin. “Interesting.”
“What?” Thorax asks anxiously.
“He was part of their group,” I murmur, mulling it over.
“Speak up, will ya?” Grandpa Gruff yells.
I blink, realizing I’d trailed off. I wave a hand. “All will be explained. For now, let’s head for the School of Friendship.”
“What? Are you saying they’ve been there the whole time?” Sea Spray asks.
I shake my head. “They’re not there. But they will be.”
They all give each other confused looks.
Luna gives a deadpan. “Just nod and go along with it. It’s easier that way.”
___________________________________________________________
We arrive in Ponyville after a slightly bit tense train ride and reach the school around the same time Twilight and the others do.
There’s an exchange of greetings and happiness of the studetns being found, the students telling each of their guardians that they intend to come back to our school.
But… I don’t understand,” Ember shares confused looks with the others. “How? You can’t even get inside!”
I smirk at Twilight, who nods, aiming her horn and blasting the magical seal with magic, causing it to shatters.
Twilight turns around with a flourish, declaring, “School is back in session!”
The student cheer before a magic warbling sound reaches our ears and I sense a portal like before opening.
Neighsay steps out, looking around at the remains of his shattered seal. “Who dared remove my seal?”
Twilight looks firmly at him. “I did, Chancellor Neighsay! And I respectfully ask you to step aside, or classes will start late.”
Neighsay’s expression deepens. “Classes won’t start at all! The EEA has spoken, and none shall pass!” He punctuates his sentence by stomping his hoof.
Yona snorts. “Yak pass if yak say! Hmph!”
And she probably would, in Sandbar didn’t hold her back.
Neighsay steps forward, a very patronizing “you little children” look on his face. “This is for the greater good. The school was disorganized, the teachers unqualified! And those dangerous and unpredictable students put ponies’ lives in danger!”
He indicts to the fallen tower, which we had yet to repair since we’d only recently learned we’d gotten approval and then were distracted by the whole students going missing thing.
“Leave, or you’ll be charged with trespassing and disturbing the peace.”
Everyone turns to me as I smirk at Neighsay.
He gives a small laugh, smirking back at me. “And why is that?”
I grin. “Twilgiht and I were in Canterlot, Neighsay. We know the EEA approved the school, with you being the only voice against the idea.”
“Wait,” Rarity frowns. “The school’s approved, yet he’s acting like it isn’t and therefore, he can do whatever he wants.”
I nod. “He also, after being outvoted, tried to insist the EEA at least enforce very strict EEA guideline rules of his choosing on the school. Again, he was outvoted.”
“So… we don’t have to do things exacxtly to the EEA book?” Fluttershy asks.
Twilight nods. “We don’t. Because it’s not an EEA school. It’s a friendship school with its own rules. I should know. I wrote the book!”
She levitates a purple book twice as big as the EEA one and drops it at Neighsay’s hooves.
Twilight turns, indicating to the group. “These students reminded me that every friendship is special, so the way we teach it has to be just as unique. My school is going to do things differently.”
“Allowing all of these creatures to attend your school, Neighsay says, his tone indicating an annoying rant, “changing the rules for them – it simply won’t work!”
Princess Celestia just smirks. “I seem to recall something about Earth Ponies, unicorns, and Pegasi doing something similar, don’t you?”
Neighsay opens his mouth to retort, but closes it with a snarl.
Twilight looks firmly to him. “I promise you, Chancellor. My school will help protect Equestria.”
Neighsay glares. “Or destroy it!”
With that, he leaps through the portal, it closing behind him.
Good riddance. Though I doubt it’ll be the last we hear from him.