Ponyville – Downtown – An Hour Later
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand!"
Derpy Hooves descended with her chariot in tow. All four hooves touched down on mixed grass and dirt, scuffling to a twenty-foot stop.
"Safe!" The pegasus giggle-snorted. Relaxing her wings, she turned and gazed at the wagon behind her. "Get it?! Like an umpire! Heeheehee!" Her eyes raked opposite horizons above a warm smile. "Or maybe you don't play hockey."
"Guaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah..." A sickly, greener unicorn whimpered from where she huddled in the back of the chariot. "Grnnnghlllghl... I hate flying..."
"You okay there, Lauren?" Derpy Hooves unhitched herself from the riggings and trotted around the wagon. "I'm sure things got a teensy bit wobbly around the seventh time I circled the windmill. I'm sorry about that by the way. Heheheh... but it's not my fault the windmill blades and the horizon look so similar at night." Her gray muzzle scrunched. "They should really color those fans orange or something. But... guess not much hunting goes on in Ponyville... what with most of us being talking animals and all..."
One hoof at a time, Lyra pulled herself up to the edge of the chariot. Her ears drooped as she swallowed lumps of bile down her throat. "Did you r-really have to... spin the wagon so much?"
"Spin?" Derpy blinked, her eyes rolling and rolling. "What do you mean, spin?"
"Eugh... never mind..." Lyra struggled to pick up her saddlebags. "I... uhm... I-I threw up a few times..." She winced. "Okay... more than a few times."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I... I-I think I actually filled up seven jars with barf." Lyra grimaced at the thought. "They were full of useless dirt, so I emptied them all. I r-really didn't want to get vomit on your wagon."
"You should have told me you were feeling queasy, Lauren! Heehee..." Derpy pointed. "You could have used the paper bag!"
"Paper bag?"
"Yeah! For this route, I had it tucked away beside the seven bottles of highly expensive magic enchantment dust I'm delivering!"
"... ... ..." Lyra glanced at the jars, then back at Derpy. "... ... ...you don't say?"
"Mmmhmmm!"
"Uhm... wh-where's all that dust being delivered to, exactly?"
"Detrot!"
"Ah. Well. I can live with that." Lyra slipped on her saddlebag and climbed out of the chariot. "Thanks for the ride, Miss Hooves—CRAP!" Thud! She fell out of the wagon and landed flat on her muzzle, her butt sticking in the air. "... ... ...what do I owe you?"
"Heehee! Just your 'thanks' will do!"
"No, seriously..." Lyra sat up, still wobbling. "I feel like I've b-been super rude to you... n'stuff." She sniffled. "I really needed this ride back to Ponyville. So how can I make it up to you?"
"It's fiiiiiine, Lauren! Besides...!" Derpy trotted gaily around the wagon, straightening her packages. "Once I begin my new entrepreneurial venture, I'll be riding a mountain of golden bits into the world of the high life!"
"You mean... you d-don't just deliver stuff for a living?"
"Noperooni!" Yellow eyes twirled happily in the darkness. "I also sell muffins... run a pawn shop... offer discount repair services... and print wedding invitations!" She gasped. "Why... the last wedding invitations worked out so well that it led to the most awesome ceremony in Ponyvillean history!" Smiling teeth gleamed in the starlight. "Squee! So that gave me the bright idea of setting up a counselor's office upstairs in my shop!"
"Oh?" Lyra stood up, brushing herself off. "For what? Career planning?"
"No... Love Counseling!" Derpy Hooves squealed again. "If I could help Cranky and Matilda tie the knot, then I can help anypony! Heehee! It's been many years, but I think I just now found my super special talent! I mean... it can't be any coincidence that I have a buncha floaty hearts for a cutie mark!"
"Uh..." Wincing, Lyra glanced at the bubbles adorning Derpy's flank. "Miss Hooves, I hate to break it to you, but..."
"Hmmmm?" Spinning eyes looked past Lyra on either side.
Lyra sighed, then put on a tired smile. "...never mind. Best of luck, Miss Hooves." A gulp. "As if you'll need it..."
"Heeeeey! Thanks for the confidence!" Derpy made to pat Lyra on the back—only to punch her with a right hook. WHAM! "You know, you're one of the first ponies who's ever bothered to believe in me!"
"Guhhh... h-hey... what can you say?" Lyra hobbled back to her hooves, rubbing her jaw. "You... uh... y-you really know how to hit it home." She winced. "Goddess..."
"You should come up and see me at the office sometime!" Derpy said, grinning. "Since you've been so nice, I'll make the first consultation free!" She squinted in opposite directions with a sly smirk. "Any lucky stallion you've had your eyes set on? Hmmmm? I bet I could hook the two of you together like drool on muffin batter!"
"Thanks... but no thanks, Derpy." Lyra hobbled off. "It's been a crazy thirteen months, and... to be perfectly honest..." Her amber eyes briefly lit up. "...the last stallion who ever caught my fancy was a complete stranger... not to mention completely out of my league." Her dreamy sigh deflated halfway through the exhalation. "Best to let heroes be, after all..."
"Hey! Suit yourself!" Derpy shrugged as Lyra trotted away. "There's plenty of sea in the fish... wait." A few blinks. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure that's how it goes." Humming to herself, she turned to rummage through the chariot. Half-a-minute later, she emerged, holding up a jar sloshing with a slimy substance. "Huh... I don't remember storing any guacamole on this trip." She glanced at the back of the wagon. "Whoah! Seven whole jars! Ha-HA! And they say you can't make business with Mexicolt!"
485 Faust Lane – Lyra and Bon Bon's Home – Front Living Room
Creaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak...
A sliver of starlight bled through the room as the front door slowwwwwwly opened. Lyra Heartstrings poked her head in. Biting her lip, she looked left.
Shadows.
Pensively, she looked right.
Darkness.
With a relieved sigh, the mare trotted the rest of the way in, closing the door behind her.
"Good," she muttered into the emptiness of the room. Her tired hoofsteps carried her forward. "She must be asleep—"
Click!
The living room flooded with lamplight.
"Now why would that be, Lyra?"
Lyra winced, squinting into the brightness.
A peach mare came into focus, reclining in an easy chair with her hoof to a lightswitch. Bon Bon glared coldly across the room. "Just how can a pony sleep when she's got so much on her mind?"
"Heeeeeeeey! B-Squared!" Lyra chuckled breathily. She gulped and struck a pose. "I'm back from Canterlot!"
"Awful late for a return trip, hmmm?"
"Yes, well..." Lyra rubbed the back of her mane. "The... uh... train got held up. There were... erm... zebras! Yes! Zebras protesting all over the train station. Y'know... Striped Lives Matter?"
Bon Bon's brow furrowed.
"What, too relevant?" Lyra rolled her eyes. "I'm just pulling your tail, Bon Bon. I don't know why the train got held up like it was. This is Equestria, after all. We're lucky the trains don't run into hydras and power-hungry centaurs on the hour every hour." Sighing, she shuffled off towards her room. "Now, if you don't mind, it's been a stupidly long day and I need a good soak—"
"There was only one train that left for Ponyville from Canterlot today," Bon Bon droned. "And it arrived over an hour ago."
"Hah! That's ridiculous!" Lyra spun to grin at her roommate. "Don't you think I'd be home by now if that was the case?"
"No, because Lemon Hearts was," Bon Bon said. "And she told me that you didn't show up at the therapy session today."
Lyra blinked, her smile fading. "Lemon... Hearts...?"
Bon Bon's eyes stabbed like blue daggers. "You lied to me, Lyra." She spat. "Again."
Lyra's eyes rolled. "Hoy vay..." She slumped back against the wall, folding her forelimbs. "This is going to be fun..."