The Learning Curveball
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I open the door, nodding to Randolph as I walk through.
“How can you still defend her after the chaos she caused the whole town today?!”
I pause on my way to the stairs, turning to look in the direction of the living room. Wait. Is she seriously blaming me for what happened to today? So, anything odd occurs, the filly with chaos powers clearly had something to do with it? Because nothing weird ever happened in this town before I came along.
Levitating up to make no noise, I float over to the living room and peak around the corner.
As expected, Spoiled is standing in front of a very tired looking Filthy Rich, the former looking flustered and angry beyond what really is needed.
“Now, honey,” he says in what I can tell is a tone just inches away from being exasperated, “Princess Celestia made it quite clear Miss Sparkle caused what happened and that it was not her intention for things to get as they did.”
“Nonsense!” Spoiled retorts, shaking her head. “That’s a lie she’s implanted into both the princess and that unicorn’s minds! She caused it! She’s a Chaos Monster! It’s all she knows how to do!”
“Actually, the moment Twilight appeared, I hightailed it out of there to avoid that incoming disaster!” Both glance in my direction as I float in, my forelegs folded, my expression a deadpan.
Spoiled just glares at me. “Lies! You’ve done nothing but cause chaos since you arrived! Why the princess didn’t have you turned to stone already is beyond me, but she will soon! You’re evil ways are at their end!”
I glare. “Evil ways? Last I checked, pranks aren’t evil. If they were, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash would already be in jail!”
“Pranks?” Spoiled looks at me with befuddled rage. “You call what you’ve been doing pranks? You put our daughter, your own supposed sister, in the hospital!”
I snort. “The laxatives would’ve worked their way out of her system within hours. She only needed to remain in hospital because of the discomfort the unnecessary stomach-pumping put her through! A stomach-pumping you made her go through!”
“Don’t try pinning your blame on me, monster!” she snaps, taking a step forward. “All you’ve done is cause trouble for this family from the moment you got here!”
“Well, while you’re wasting your breath blabbing about how I’m the one in this family who needs their priorities readjusted, I’m going to school tomorrow.”
A folder appears directly beside Dad’s head.
“You are not setting hoof in the same school where my daughter goes for her learning!” Spoiled orders, reaching for the folder, only for it to turn to jello and smoosh in her grasp.
I scoff. “So, one of your children is allowed to go to school but the other isn’t? Reason? And, if you say because I’m a chaos beast or whatever else you’ve prattled on since I first got here, I’m not gonna listen.”
“You can’t go to the same school as Diamond!” she snarls, stepping towards me, though her snarl is less intimating (not that she was intimidating me in the first place) with her face covered in green jello.
“Why?” I ask, cocking my head. “Afraid that seeing me defy you will make her question whether she should follow you like the trained dog you treat her as?”
A vein twitches on her forehead and I smirk.
“I’m going ta bed,” I teleport passed Spoiled and kiss Daddy on the cheek, saying, “Goodnight, Daddy.”
With that, after taking a look at Spoiled’s fuming face, I teleport back to my room, to find Randolph standing there.
“Would you like anything to eat, miss?” he asks, giving a small bow of the head.
I shake my own. “I’m good, Randolph. I’ve something planned, anyway. Ya know, Chaos Magic an' all?”
He nods, bidding me a quick, but warm, “Goodnight, Miss Screwball,” and heads off, no doubt to tend to some other chore.
Smiling, I float back into my room and close the door, remembering to put sealing charms on it to ensure Spoiled can’t get in again whilst I’m sleeping, nor will any I don’t want unless they have permission from myself, even if they’ve been ordered by Spoiled.
With the knowledge I’ll be able to sleep in security of not finding myself given a makeover in my sleep meant to enforce an obedience to Spoiled, I change into a human form and sit on my bed.
I click my fingers and a McDonald’s triple cheeseburger, a large fries and Fanta, plus a large caramel sundae appear on a tray on my bedside table.
Just because I’ve become a pony, doesn’t mean I can’t use my Chaos Magic to still enjoy the things I did back when I was human in the real world. A little Chaos Magic on my inner systems and processing meat is no problem.
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“WHAT?!” Diamond screams as I float above the floor as Daddy and I are situated at the foot of her bed. She’s staring at Daddy as if she can’t believe what she just heard... which I guess she doesn’t. If I didn’t know the truth about Diamond, I’d say like mother like daughter.
The Earth Stallion just nods. “Your sister will be starting school today.”
“But— But, Daddy,” she whines, shaking her head with fear in her eyes. “She’ll ruin everything! Everypony will think I’m a loser because I’m related to her!”
He just chuckles, shaking his head. “Now, Diamond, I think that’s a bit much. I’m sure everypony will love your sister.”
She glares at me, the look saying “That’s why I don’t want you going to the same school I go to”.
I just shrug. Like I care. Sure, I don’t need to go to school, but it would get boring just going around Ponyville everyday. Besides, being at school means I can rub things in, which’ll make it harder for Diamond to find a way to get me in trouble, which I will in turn use to keep the CMC from getting blamed for stuff Diamond pins on them.
There has to be stuff in between the episodes I’ve seen.
“But... but what if she’s not smart!” Diamond yells, pointing at me. “What if she messes up whatever work Miss Cheerilee gives her so badly that I have to leave because she thinks her stupidity will rub off on me?!”
I narrow my eyes. Okay, gonna be redeemed later or not, I’m really considering making things hard for her.
Daddy gives Tiara a hard look. “Tiara, she is your sister. I doubt she will do that badly.”
A lot of Bronies and Pegasisters woulda disagreed with that logic several episodes ago, I don’t say out loud.
“Don’t worry, Daddy,” I say in a sweet voice, inwardly sneering at the death glare Tiara aims at me. “I promise to be on my best behavior.”
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“Class, we have a new student joining us today,” Miss Cheerilee says.
Some murmurs go through the class, before the teacher quietens them.
“Alright, you may come in.”
I walk in, to which a lot of the class gasps.
Miss Cheerilee looks just as confused as the rest of them as I move to stand next to her, smiling out at the class.
“Why’s Diamond Tiara wearing a beanie instead of her tiara,” I hear one filly’s voice whisper.
“What’s with her hair? When’d it grow so long?” a colt whispers.
“What happened to her eyes?” a pony can’t help smiling at recognizing as Dinky Doo asks.
“Never mind all that!” Twist cries, standing up in her seat and pointing at my flank. “What happened to her Cutie Mark?!”
It’s now that all the other students seem to notice I do not have a tiara on my flank, but a screw and baseball.
“Um... yes, well...” the poor teacher stutters, clearly taken aback by my similar appearance to my sister.
I sigh, smiling. “Hi, Ponvyille students. I’m Screwball, Diamond Tiara’s twin sister.”
There is an amusing silence, in which I have to hold back snickers due to the sounds of a chirping cricket in the background.
Three, two, one...
“WHAT?!”
The classroom erupts into screams of shock and confusion at my declaration, whilst I just stand there and cackle like a loony.
It takes Cheerilee several minutes to calm the class down, before she turns to me and asks me to fully introduce myself, muttering under her breath, “As much for myself as the other students.”
I look out to them all and smile. “Okay. I’m gonna get the first obvious question outta the way. None of you would know about me because I’ve been in hospital since I was a baby.”
This is met with a few gasps of shock and looks of worry.
“What happened?” Sunny Days asks, her ears pulled back.
I sigh, looking down. “I was kinda born asleep. It's called Unresponsive Wakefulness Syndrome. Nothing the doctors did would wake me up, so I was stuck being looked after all my life.”
This causes everypony to look at each other, before a brown hoof I notice belongs to a certain Button Mash... even though I know he didn’t reappear until season five, raises into the air. “If the doctors couldn’t wake you up, how come you’re awake now?”
I nod. “A good question, Mr. Mash. One I shall answer after speaking about something important to our dear teacher.” As I finish, I turn to Miss Cheerilee and bow. “I’m sorry for my actions yesterday, Miss Cheerilee.”
She blinks, looking confused. “You’re actions? Yesterday?”
I look up, nodding. “I pretended to be my sister because I wanted to pull a prank. I have since realized how wrong I was to do so and humbly ask you to accept my apology.”
She blinks again, cocking her head. “Pretended to be her?”
Yellow light flashes over my body and everypony gasps. I now look exactly like Diamond Tiara, save the goofy grin I’m sporting.
“How did you do that?” Snails asks, his mouth hanging agape.
I return to my form and grin. “Any of you remember when Discord was running amok here in Ponyville a couple days ago?”
They all nod and I shrug. “He found me in the hospital and put some Chaos Magic in me. When the Element Bearers used them to turn him to stone and cure the world of his chaos, it all went into me.”
“Wait a minute,” Sunny Days says, staring at me with wide eyes. “Are you saying you have powers like Discord?”
I smirk, the desks all turning into metal, before reverting back, to everypony else’s amazement. “Yep.” I turn to Miss Cheerilee. “And that’s how I pretended to be my sister. I’m sorry, Miss Cheerilee. I’ll accept any punishment you would have given her and any additional ones you feel I deserve for trying to get her in trouble in the first place.”
The mulberry mare blinks a few times, before shaking her head and speaking slowly. “Well... Screwball... as long as you’ve learned your lesson, I’ll let it go this time. Do it again, though, and you will have to deal with the consequences.”
I give a genuine relieved smile and nod, saluting. “Understood, ma’am.”
She nods, before indicating to a spare seat behind Scootaloo. “Take your seat, Screwball and we can begin.”
I move over to my desk and sit down, looking around at everypony and smiling, though feeling a little disheartened when they quickly avert their gazes and return them to the front.
I give a small pout. Wow. Now I know how Nyx felt in Past Sins on her first day of school. Which reminds me...
A second later I look inside my desk and smile at my first edition copy of Past Sins, now free from the small bits of wear and tear it had gained due to my regular reading of it. I got it back when the Luna’s Hoard went out on Ebay. I’d wanted to get two, but my mother back in the real world wouldn’t let me spend over $100 on two books, regardless of the reasons.
I smirk and the book multiples into two.
I frown, looking up, thinking. I wonder if Twilight would like to read this and maybe Princess Luna too? It would certainly be an interesting read and...
I frown again, several points made in that fic coming to mind. I’m gonna have to investigate to see if anything similar is going on in this reality. You never know.
But, I put that out of mind for now and focus on the morning lesson. Can’t wait to speak with the CMC after this. They’ve probably a ton other questions, just like everypony else.
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“Thus concludes my reasoning why those ponies that disrupted the gala this year should be arrested and jailed. Or, at the very least, striped of half their possessions to pay for the damage,” the white unicorn finished, puffing out his chest.
Celestia was finding it very hard not to simply roll her eyes at her nephew’s blustering.
“Blueblood,” she said in a calm tone that masked her annoyance at his slight frown at not being addressed by title, “you say those six ponies, who unintentionally caused the gala to fall apart, thus it was an accident, should be punished?”
The noble unfitting of the word nodded, sniffing. “The sooner, the better, Auntie. We cannot have others think we would allow such actions to go unpunished.”
“Did it ever occur to you to check just who they were, nephew?” Celestia gave a slight eyebrow raise.
Blueblood paused, looking up with a slight frown. “I believe that wench that dared to soil my royal face with commoner cake was... her name was Rarity, I believe?”
Celestia nodded. “Very good, nephew. Now, what is the name of the unicorn who used the Element of Generosity to aid in Discord’s defeat several days ago?”
Blueblood paused, looking confused. Celestia knew this would stump him. Unless he could use a pony to further his own gains or to demand punishment upon for some ridiculous actions, he rarely bothered to learn names. And, despite their fame as heroes, it was clear even he knew the Element Bearers were beyond his reach. Either that, or he was so full of himself he hadn't even considered it. She was leaning towards the latter.
“Allow me to answer the question for you, Blueblood,” she said, barely holding back a small smirk. “Her name, one of the six ponies who is now a national hero for saving us all from Discord, is Rarity.”
The stallion cocked an eyebrow, before snorting. “Auntie, I fail to see why this is important. If Miss Rarity saved us as one of the Element Bearers, I do not see what it has to do with that Rarity mare’s punishment for insulting... our...”
He blinked, before his ears splayed back.
Celestia nodded. “Indeed nephew. The Rarity that helped save Equestria and the Rarity whom was at the gala are the same Rarity. If you wish me to punish her for something as trivial as being offended by your own actions at the gala and seeking her own small justice for it, you will be punishing a national hero. I do not believe our subjects will look lightly on such a thing. Many of the nobility will talk and not in a flattering manner.”
She’d got him.
However, upon mentioning the gala, Blueblood snarled. “My actions? She deserved such treatment. She was merely trying to get in favour with me for political gain, just like all those other mares!”
At this, Celestia scowled, causing Blueblood, her personal assistant Quick Script and several of the guards to shudder. You did not want to be under the princess’s gaze when she scowled.
“Blueblood,” she said in a tone that told you she was angry, but holding it in, which caused the prince to whimper, “Rarity is the Element of Generosity. Generosity! For you to insinuate that such a mare would only be interested in political gain shows very little of you ability to read ponies! I have spoken with Rarity myself on the matter and she informed me that she has dreamed of a relationship with yourself, not because of your power of money, but because she admired you for the pony you are.”
Blueblood gave a small smile at that. “R-really?”
“However, your actions and behavior the night of the gala left her realizing you are not the honorable stallion she had envisioned you to be since she was a filly, but are a selfish, closed-minded maul, who cares not for the feelings of others, but only himself!”
The smile fell from his face as quickly as it had formed and genuine sadness filled him at that thought.
Celestia pointed a hoof toward the throne room doors. “You may go, nephew.” He opened his mouth to say something. “You may go!”
Slumping his shoulders, the prince turned and trod out slowly, the doors closing behind him.
Celestia sighed, letting shoulders slump a little.
However, before she could dwell on the matter, there was a swooshing sound, followed by a wisp of embers appearing before her, which came together and formed a scroll.
A letter from Twilight already? she couldn’t help rolling her eyes. I do hope this letter isn’t her trying to make up for a letter I told her she didn’t need to send.
Opening the letter, she began to read.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I realize this letter comes shortly after you informed me about how I don’t need to send you letters on a weekly basis and only when a reason comes up.
Well, a reason has come up. She, I should say, came up a few days ago and, after learning about her, I have been trying to figure out how best to word the situation we now face.
Now, as you remember, several days ago, Discord got out and caused his chaos, starting around Ponyville before he intended to head towards Canterlot and beyond.
It would seem that, whilst he is no longer out, something he left behind remained in Equestria.
Allow me to explain: a day after Discord’s defeat, my friends and I were each pranked, as were a lot of Ponyville’s citizens. It turned out the pranksters were not, as one might expect, Pinkie and Rainbow Dash, Dash herself becoming a victim of one of the pranks.
Instead, another pony joined Pinkie’s pranking. The second culprit was a young Earth Pony filly named Screwball.
Celestia paused, raising an eyebrow. That is an odd name for one to give their foal. She went back to reading.
Screwball proved to be a dangerous mix when combined with Pinkie’s pranking wishes. She is one of the two daughters of Filthy Rich, one of the wealthiest ponies in Ponyville.
Celestia had to pause again, an eyebrow arched yet once more. She did know of Mr. Rich and, as far as she was aware, the stallion known as Filthy Rich only had one daughter, a filly by the name of Diamond Tiara. Did he recently have another daughter?
She frowned, shaking her head. That wouldn’t make sense. How could he have a new daughter and she play pranks with Pinkie Pie? That didn’t even come close to making sense, even for the pink mare.
Shaking her head again, Celestia returned to the letter, hoping Twilight would enlighten her as to this confusing array of thoughts now plaguing her.
Now, you may already know of his first daughter, Diamond Tiara and are probably confused by my saying Screwball is also his daughter.
Well, while you will be confused at first by what I tell you, know that there are answers to this. Screwball and Diamond Tiara are twins. Yes, twins.
However, when they were born, Screwball, or, as she was known at the time, Lilac, was born with Unresponsive Wakefulness Syndrome. She has been in hospital for all her life until several days ago. You will notice, I assume, the coincidences in this timing.
This is because, Lilac was found by Discord whilst he was free and he placed a bit of Chaos Magic within her, turning her into a chaos spreading being that would do so unconsciously, as she had no living mind at the time.
Celestia’s eyes widened in horror. Another being that could spread chaos and this one without knowing it? That was even more dangerous than Discord himself!
However, Celestia kept her calm, if only not to alarm those around her and continued reading, hoping Twilight would say the situation wasn’t as bad as she was envisioning, having fought Discord alongside Luna all those centuries ago.
Discord unintentionally put an end to his own plans with Lilac, whom he renamed Screwball after infusing her with a fraction of Chaos Magic. The force of that magic pulled the spirit of a being from another world into Screwball’s body just moments before we used the Elements of Harmony to turn Discord back into stone.
When the Elements dispersed the chaos energy he’d already spread, it was pulled towards the only being left with any chaotic power, one who was not harmed by the Elements due to her spirit not having any of Discord’s ill intent when the Harmonic energies were released: Screwball.
Once she came to, Zecora found her and brought her to the Rich Manor, which Screwball figured out was her family’s home after taking a potion Zecora gave her that let her see her own past.
Screwball has proven that, whilst she does posses Discord’s sneaky nature, she is a good-hearted filly. From what Pinkie has told us and what Dash has observed of her since I asked her to tail the filly, she seems as innocent as any other filly her age... or, at least physical age.
Screwball never mentioned just what kind of creature she was before being pulled into her current form from her world, nor her actual age.
This letter is mainly to inform you of her existence and that, despite her having Chaos Magic, seems to be using it for good... or at the very least, minor pranks as opposed to trying to turn Equestria into the Chaos Capital of the world, like Discord did.
I will keep you informed of events pertaining to her, as well as any more lessons in friendship I gain.
Your ever faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
Celestia remained motionless for several moments as she processed the meaning of the letter she had just read.
There was another creature with Chaos Magic, like Discord, but who wasn’t using it for evil. She was just trying to live her life.
She frowned, thinking. Could it be possible that such a thing could happen? True, before Discord went about trying to turn Equestria into his own little playpen of chaos, she had hoped he would use his powers for good, but was it really a possibility that one with such powers could harness them for good?
After several moments, she nodded, before levitating a blank scroll and began writing on it. If Screwball could prove to be trustworthy with her Chaos Magic, something she would get Twilight and her friends to observe over the course of time, she might just be able to get Discord to use his own powers for good... and maybe finally get her best friend that was not her sister back.