//------------------------------// // Blurp // Story: How to Disappear Completely // by shortskirtsandexplosions //------------------------------// Several minutes later, Octavia recovered. She, Vinyl Scratch, Soarin, and Flash Sentry sat on the outdoor patio of a restaurant in one of Canterlot's livelier districts. Soarin and Flash munched away on breaded treats that Vinyl had gladly bought them. Octavia cradled a mug of tea in her hooves. The mare sat on a velvet cushion—of course she did. "Mint tea..." Octavia drank, sighed, drank and sighed. Soon her nerves had calmed. "...always does the trick." "Mrmmfff... good..." Flash swallowed another morsel, stifled a burp, and smirked across the table. "So—do you gals have an answer for us or—" "YES!" Octavia bellowed—surprising the two stallions. She coughed daintily, dabbed her chin with a napkin, and looked calmly across the table. "But of course the answer is 'yes.' We wouldn't possibly think of rejecting such an offer." Vinyl nodded, her smile unending. "But... forgive me if I feel a tad bit... flummoxed." She brushed her smokey bangs straight and squinted at Flash. "How was it that you were able to offer us such... such an unbelievably prestigious role?" Flash gestured. "It's all because of Vinyl's headphones?" Vinyl did a double-take. "I beg your pardon, Brad?" "Well, Vinyl lent me her headphones!" Flash said. "And it had a bunch of killer techno music on it with samples I've never heard before! So it got my body and soul really bumpin'—but mostly just my body, although my soul followed shortly behind. Anyways, I got to dancing in the sky—sky dancing? More like fly-dancing. And it was really really fun but also really really exhausting. So I plopped myself down on a mountainside somewhere and fell asleep. The next thing I know, I was waking up to screams. This little body was falling straight down from the stars! So I flew up to pick the body up. Turns out it was the young nephew to Prince Blueblood, and the kid had fallen off the side of a massive airship named the Midnight Oil. The Midnight Oil was conducting a very important trade mission with the diamond dogs of High Paw. I met this really cool pony named Fancy Pants. Also Filthy Rich was there. They thought it was pretty cool how I saved a member of royalty from turning into horse paste against the mountainside, so they let me tag along and see how the mission went. That's how I met the Wonderbolts—including this cool bro Soarin here. Together, we stopped an assassination attempt by these punks called the Hawkeye Pack who—ironically—were the last remaining group of diamond dogs holding out on the deal that was being placed on the negotiating table. We talked some sense into them, and—voila!—they saw the light and agreed to work with the representatives on board the Midnight Oil. This got us the crystalline jewels that the Crystal Empire sorely needed, and because of that they're finally able to join the Equestrian Union! But their normal representatives are off doing business with Yakyakistan, so I got Spitfire to speak to the stewards of the Empire who gave the Wonderbolts permission to oversee the festivities happening in the next few days. We already got Bon Bon and the Cakes from Ponyville to oversee catering. Now what we need is somepony to take care of the music at the event... and then somepony else to take care of decorating!" He finished with a grin. Soarin added to it. "And I helped!" Octavia and Vinyl Scratch blinked at the stallions. They exchanged glances. "It's all kind of silly when you think about it," Flash muttered. "But hey... I like silly. And free breadsticks. I like those too." He bent down to take another tender bite of the treats on his plate. "Mmmmmm... horse buds... activate...!" "This..." Octavia cleared her throat. "...is a most esteemed honor. And I am exceedingly thankful that you have chosen the two of us to tackle it." She somehow curtsied while sitting down. "Thank you most wonderfully." "Heheh... you're welcome most wonderfully!" Soarin smirked. "You think you're up for the task?" "Do you even know who you're talking to, love?" Soarin's smile paled as he sweated slightly. "I... think I'm about to." "I, Octavia Melody, am the finest cellist in all the land," the dainty mare said. She placed her hoof on Vinyl's shoulder. "And this charming soul—Vinyl Scratch, also known as DJ-P0N3—is the most exceptional pioneer of contemporary auditory aesthetics." Vinyl stuck her tongue out and smiled. "Not only will we fulfill our roles for the Crystal Empire most sublimely, but we will assure that the kingdom becomes a benchmark for musical expression for generations to come." Soarin whistled. "Now that's one heck of a pitch!" "Nevertheless, it will be an excrutiating challenge, and I daresay we may need some assistance with staying the course—especially upon such short notice." "I'm sure Spitfire can conjure up some helping hooves with the stewards' help." "No doubt. But I was hoping for something far closer to home." Octavia looked at Flash. "I understand—Brad—that you hired Bon Bon for the catering service?" Flash nodded. "Along with Mrs. and Mr. Cake, yes." "I trust her beloved companion—Ms. Heartstrings—will be accompanying her, yes?" "Who. Lyra? Oh, totally." Octavia looked at Soarin. "I would greatly like to request Lyra's assistance with our musical endeavors, if that would not sour the sanctivity of this invitation." "Hey..." Soarin shrugged. "You girls know what you're doing. I'm certain Spitfire will be on board." "Smashing." Octavia's eyes sparkled. "Then this is looking most fortuitous indeed." "Hell yeah!" Flash sat up straight. "Then all that's left to do is find somepony to manage decorations for the event!" "That... will be terribly difficult, I'm afraid," Octavia said. "Assuming—of course—that you are looking for the best pony for the job." "Why's that?" Octavia took another sip of her tea and dabbed her chin. "Simply that... the best equines for the job are Pinkie Pie and Rarity... but both of them have been unavailable ever since the Princess of Friendship and her close allies were summoned for an important mission to the furthest reaches of Equestria." "Ah..." Flash winced slightly and tried to hide it. "...you don't say." "Although... you are bound to find ponies here in Canterlot who would be willing to lend a hoof to such a venture. Be mindful—they won't be nearly half as humble in accepting your invitation as Vinyl and myself. Those who live here could learn a thing or two about generosity." "Yeah, well..." Soarin scatched his head, looking at Flash. "...maybe we can swing back by Ponyville and look there? It's worked well for us so far." Suddenly, Vinyl Scratch brightened. Octavia glanced aside. "What is it, love?" Vinyl Scratch gestured and gestured and gestured briefly. "What's she saying?" Flash asked. "I can't read 'Deejay.'" Octavia's muzzle scrunched. "Surely you jest, Vinyl!" Vinyl gestured more emphatically. "Normally, I wouldn't object—but this is the most important political event to happen in the Equestrian Union in decades! We can't afford her innate clumsiness!" "Huh? Who are we talking about?" Vinyl only grinned. With a defeated sigh, Octavia looked at Flash. "Forgive Vinyl's enthusiasm, Brad. It's not entirely missplaced... it's just that—" "Is there another pony in Ponyville who's good at decorating?" Soarin asked. "Well, to an extent. There's a pony who's a jack of all trades in town. But such spread talents comes with a bit of... how should I put it... a scatterbrain. Sounds cruel to say out loud, I know. And, yes, she truly is a well-meaning soul with a heart of gold... but she causes almost as much calamity as she does good. Which is a shame... because in addition to decorating, she has two chief talents: flight teaching and muffin baking—" "Snkkkkt!" Flash Sentry spread his wings. "Oh, we are so there." "Huh?" Soarin squinted up at him. "So where?" "No questions. Only flight." Flash ascended, gesturing at the mares. "Take the first train to the Crystal Empire! We'll meet you there!" "You'd better not bring a pestilence of calamity with you!" Octavia called back. "Ain't gonna happen! I'll make sure of it!" Flash soared southwest with a thoroughly confused Soarin in hot pursuit. "Hahahaha..." Flash's grinned towards the half-burning horizon. "Holy shit, life is good!"