Desert – Buffalo Camp – Confusion o'clock AM
"Little Strong Heart..." Chief Thunderhooves reached a limb out and rested a cloven hoof against Lyra's buffalo shoulder. "Are you feeling alright?"
"Uhhhhh..." Lyra's unequine eyes glanced at his hoof, then back at the elder's face. She gulped. "Can I take the physical challenge?"
"You have been noticeably uneasy ever since the disappearances began," Chief Thunderhooves said. "We've been over this several times, young one. It is not your fault that the flashing lights have been snatching our brothers and sisters away."
"Flashing... lights...?" Lyra blinked, murmuring in the female buffalo's voice.
"Up in the hills." Chief Thunderhooves' nostrils flared. "Despite my many dire warnings, much of the youth have been foolish enough to venture forth along the upper plateau. It's a tragedy that not all buffalo can be as mature and responsible as you."
"Hey... you know me..." Lyra chuckled breathily. "Good ol' trusty... Little Brave Toaster... Heart." She coughed. "Toasty Heart Feathers." She teetered, eyes derping. "Glooboooooooool..."
"Little Strong Heart!" Chief Thunderhooves grasped her body, steadying it. "Perhaps the medicine doctor should be examining you as well!"
"I could certainly... urp... use a 'Get Out of Mental Jail Free Card' right about now." She raised one hoof, staring at it cross-eyed. "I've always wondered about these cloven hooves of yours. Are these suckers opposable?" She stab-stab-stabbed at her furry brown chest, all the while gnashing her teeth. "Come on... wake up! Wake up, damn you!"
"Uhhhhhh..." Thunderhooves' large figure fidgeted nervously.
"Hey, dude..." Lyra gazed up sleepily at him. "Would you mind pinching me? I bet you'd feel like a bullet-shrimp against the jugular."
"Little Strong Heart, you're starting to worry me."
"Lyra Heartstrings."
"Hmmmm?"
Lyra leaned forward, slurring hard. "Lyra. Heartstrings." She arched a dark brown eyebrow. "Does that ring a bell?"
Thunderhooves shook his head with a flapping of feathers. "I'm afraid I've never h—"
"Yeah, yeah. I get that a lot. Look..." She squinted towards the distant plateaus. "Did—by chance—a pony stumble out of them-there hills recently?" She swallowed a lump down her furry throat. "More specifically a super sexy lime-green unicorn who sounds like she's voiced by Jodie Fosttrot?"
"No, Little Strong Heart. Shadow Charge is the only buffalo brother of ours to ever return from his disappearance." Thunderhooves narrowed his gaze. "Why would you even be thinking about ponies at a time like this?"
Lyra's buffalo ears drooped as she whimpered, "I just need to know how terribly I'm losing my mind right now."
~o~I wish you would lose it faster.~o~
"Rrrrrrrgh!" Lyra hopped around, dragging an angry hoof across the camp ground. "And that voice!" Her teeth gnashed. "Someone's playing a huge joke on me! When I find out who—I swear—the world's gonna witness its very first harp suppository!"
"Little Strong Heart, I really think you should—" Chief Thunderhooves began, but didn't finish.
A commotion had risen from the far end of the camp. Buffalo voices gasped and shrieked in surprise. Among them was a warrior calling for the tribe's leader. "Chief! Chief Thunderhooves! It's a miracle! You must come and see! Quick!"
"Be right there, young one!" Chief Thunderhooves huffed. He patted Lyra's shoulder one last time. "Go and lie down somewhere. I'll come with the doctor to see you soon. You're my pride and joy, Little Strong Heart. I promise to look after you as you look after the rest of us." That said, the leader turned tail and galloped briskly towards the source of the sudden commotion.
This left Lyra abandoned in the center of the camp. As more and more curious buffalo trotted past her, she wandered towards a water trough on limp hooves.
"Flashing lights... lost in the hills... Little Strong Heart..." Her furry brown face scrunched up. "I mean... seriously? 'Little Strong Heart?' Is that a name or a super outdated hoofball mascot?"
~o~I've taken residence in the husk of a jester.~o~
"Okay..." Lyra clenched her eyes shut as she approached the water trough. "Ignore the voice. Ignore the voice. Ignore it."
~o~You cannot ignore that which you are.~o~
"Shut up. I'm me. At least..." Lyra reopened her eyes, sweating profusely as she stared down into the watery surface. "...I think I'm me."
She gulped, and a petite female buffalo gulped as well.
"Or maybe... I've always been a crookedly-shaped buffalo..." Lyra smiled awkwardly. "...who's dreamt that she's some magical space horse from the future riding a metal tubeworm on iron vertebrae rolling between gold-thatched villages." Her face twitched. "The Neigh Face Up. Hah! Hahaha..." Her laughing voice was a wheezing spectacle at this point. "G-get it?"
~o~It only it weren't too late to undo the transferrence.~o~
"Rrrrrghhh!" Lyra clenched her cloven hooves over her eyes. "You're you. You've always been you. Just... think about something familiarly happy... something fulfilling..." She gulped. Hard. "...something safe and—"
FLASH!
"—trustworthy," said Bon Bon.
Lyra froze in place. Two-thirds of the fur had instantly vanished from her fetlocks—and her hooves were no longer cloven. Pensively, she peeked out one eye... then the other. She blinked.
A pair of ocean-blue eyes blinked in response. She found herself staring down at a beloved confectioner's face.
"I'm..." Lyra spoke, but all she heard was her roommate. "...I'm tiny and girly and petite again." A few more blue-eyed blinks. "Wicked!" She froze for a moment, squinted, then blurted: "Lyraaaaa... Lyraaaaaaaaaaaaa... Lyraaaaaa do the dishessssss, Lyraaaaaaaa..." A pause. "Holy shit that's bonkers. Uhm..." She cocked her Bonified head to the left, then the right. "Hold up." Licking her peach lips, she raised two hooves up to her scalp and started yanking the threads of her mane in opposite directions.
~o~What are you doing?~o~
"I've always wanted to know where her blue bangs began and her pink bangs ended—" Lyra immediately grimaced, snarling: "Yo! Shut up! You're not real!" She gripped the trough, causing the water to shake. "All of this is too cruddy to be real!"
~o~And what makes you so certain?~o~
"Because cruddy things just don't happen in Equestria and I'm not talking to you!" Lyra sighed hard. "... ... ...say, where did all the buffalo go?"
A vaguely familiar voice shrieked from across the compound. Lyra caught a light-brown figure leaping out of a teepee. "Shadow Charge!" Little Strong Heart's voice echoed. "Shadow Charge is gone! I left him right inside! He must have run out while I was fetching the Medicine Doctor! Someone, please—!"
Lyra winced hard, glancing down at her earth pony self. "Uhhhhh..."
"Little Strong Heart! Look!" a buffalo shouted from a distance.
Lyra froze in place, eyes wide. She glanced up...
...and saw a thick crowd of buffalo marching back the way they initially galloped. Their thick hairy faces were covered with beaming grins. "It's a miracle, Little Strong Heart! The ancestors have blessed us today!"
"But you don't understand!" Little Strong Heart cried, stomping her hooves. "It's Shadow Charge! He's—"
"Returned with another one of our brothers!" The group parted ways, and Little Strong Heart gasped to see an emaciated buffalo hobbling into camp with another buffalo figure draped over his back. "He went out and saved another of our kin! Isn't that fantastic!"
"He... he..." Little Strong Heart did a double-take. "What?!"
"Whoah!" Swift Breaths ran up to the group, jaw agape. "Bro! Look at you!" He leaned in to nudge the returning hero. "Did you run off to face the monster of the hills—horn to horn? Looks like the beast gave you quite the beating!"
"Swift Breaths!" Chief Thunderhooves snorted, headbutting the young warrior away. "Keep your distance! Can't you see our brother here is ill?" He turned towards the center of the crowd, steadying Shadow Charge's teetering figure. "Whoah there, young one. Let us relieve you of this burden."
"He..." Shadow Charge wheezed weakly. He hunched over as two other buffalo lifted the unconscious victim off his back. "He needs water... severely dehydrated." He gulped, starting to shiver. "He was... the only one from the cave to s-survive. Last night... a unicorn..." He grimaced. "It c-consumed her and disappeared. That's the only reason I was able to escape..."
"You mean the beast is gone?" Swift Breaths asked.
"Indeed so, br-brother..."
"Shadow Charge!" Little Strong Heart rushed forward, short of breath. "What are you doing out of your tent?!"
"Isn't it obvious?!" Another female buffalo grinned. "He was saving another one of our brothers—"
"Wait... w-wait..." Shadow Charge teetered forward, eyes thin and weak. "Tent? Huh?"
"Don't you remember?" Chief Thunderhooves leaned in. "You arrived late last night! Little Strong Heart looked after you—"
"How did you get so... so..." Little Strong Heart nervously tapped Shadow Charge's elbow, nearly knocking him off his hooves. "...so weak?! I don't understand! You were gone for only a few minutes!"
"Little Strong Heart..." Shadow Charge gulped hard, then stammered, "This is the f-first time in weeks that I've seen my beloved home with these naked eyes. I swear it..."
"But..." Chief Thunderhooves gazed at Little Strong Heart as the rest of the buffalo blinked in confusion. "How can that be?"
"And how did you lose so much weight in so little time, dude?" Swift Breaths asked.
"Please..." Shadow Charge limped forward, fighting the urge to sob. "I just want a bed and a warm meal. I... I-I was in that cave for so long. I saw so much death. And... and..." His bloodshot eyes watered with tears. "Little Paws. Mmmm... the beast took Little Paws from me... I can never f-forgive such a creature—"
FLASH! A bright green light reflected off Shadow Charge's moist eyes. Curious, he glanced up across the compound. A deep gasp escaped his muzzle... and the buffalo smiled wide. "Little Paws!"
"... ... ...?" Lyra cocked her head curiously to the side, but all she heard was a panting breath. "... ... ...!" She looked straight down into the water trough.
A fuzzy brown sheep dog stared back up at her.
"Little Paws!" Shadow Charge limped briskly towards her on an intercept course. "Oh, bless the Ancestors!" He sobbed happily. "You're alive!"
Lyra stopped panting just in time to grimace. "Ruh roh..."