This story is a sequel to Dash of Humanity

I'm stuck in Equestria, which reminds me of the dark ages. Instead of internet and fast-food, I have Rainbow Dash. She's been asked to help me learn to fit in... I'd like a refund.

I suppose we got off to a good start, aside from being told that after all I'd done I'd never see Earth again. So long as I can look on the bright side of life, and not get arrested for running pranks on everypony with Dash, I might just survive long enough to find my purpose in Equestria. So help me, however, if I get any vegetable related cutie marks I will choke a Princess.

Cover Art by JinZahn
Sequel to Dash of Humanity
Edited by: Selbi, Abcron, Cassius Litner, Seven Fates,
Refro, BronyWriter

Servants have their uses, no matter their form, station or handicaps. Marwolaeth Pydredd is one such servant, cursed with an infernal visage that causes any who look upon him to convulse in fear before locating the nearest set of torches and pitchforks. As such, Marwolaeth hides his body underneath layers upon layers of metal and leather, concealing all but the barest glimpse of his eyes with shining metal and sturdy chainmail. For years immemorial Marwolaeth has been guided from town to town, between planes and even into the dens of powerful creatures at the behest of his master, who lends his skills to the highest bidders.

Marwolaeth's newest charge is the peaceful land of Equestria, lent to Princess Celestia herself, in order to guard the Elements of Harmony. Not even five minutes into his new assignment is Marwolaeth asking himself why he's there. A peaceful land has no need for a hardened warrior, and he has no need for the rest such an assignment would provide. What Marwolaeth doesn't know, though, is that trouble is brewing on the horizon, and just under his nose.

Edited by G3k0771

Living in Equestria under a false name and racial identity is one thing. Finding out you're not the only one of your kind stranded here is another... especially when that someone and the element bearers are looking for you.

Being my first attempt at a first-person romantic comedy, this takes a slightly different approach to the concept of being a human stranded in Equestria.

Enjoy.

Big thanks to DVAN56 for editing. Go check out his work!

[2nd Person Perspective]

Working as a waiter at Canterlot's various social gatherings is a nice job. Especially since you began chatting with the cello player of the usual quartet, Octavia. You've gotten to know a lot about her, but one night there seems to be something on her mind. You offer her a drink to ease her nerves and you bring your glasses together in cheers.

Next thing you know, you wake up in a strange hotel room in a town you've never been to next to a certain gray mare.

Art by John Joseco

In a universe where humans are quite shocked to find ponies that speak languages at all, let alone English, the startling discoveries never seem to stop for the poor crew of the SMS Verreiter IV, an old-warship-turned-exploration-vessel hybrid that's certainly seen better days. Heck, some even speak of times that it had days where all the systems functioned properly for hours at a time.

Either way, they're on a mission of exploration, which means they'll be visiting every Old Earth-sized rock they can find. With a motley consignment composed of few jittery scientists, veteran marines, an exasperated captain, and a combat-hardened, battle-forged crew with absolutely nothing to do besides repair their own ship from itself, it seems like it'll be a very long year of exploration.

Then they find a planet with some rather startling similarities to human society.

Like Manehattan, the apparent parody of the American district, ponies having developed the English language, and the use of human-like tools and buildings.

And when the ship's transmitter fails at the worst possible moment, Forschungsschiff Kapitan Arnhem Zorner has to decide how best to introduce his country and humanity to these beings. Who can levitate books probably as easily as they could levitate knives and hurl them at him.

He doesn't know whether to laugh of cry at the situation that's been thrown at his face.

Christopher Boatner is a diplomat from Earth, in Equestria to interview Princess Twilight Sparkle to understand pony culture and customs better. Thing is, he's unprepared for what amounts to one of the biggest discoveries between humans and ponies ever. Bad puns. A lot of them. Along with general ignorance about the creepy nature of cutie marks. Will Chris be able to handle the multitude of horse puns? Read to find out!

A big thanks to my editors Kaidan and The 10th Doctor, along with my pre-readers Skeeter The Lurker and Mr101 for all their help!

"Get off of me Trixie."
"Nope."
---
Cover Art by Egophailic
Editing/Proofreading by EchoTheWolf

Now readings by TheaterCritic
Part 1

Rainbow Dash isn't bitter about the whole Mare-Do-Well incident. Or at least that's what she tells herself. Either way, she's not going to miss this chance for some harmless revenge pranks, and so she constructs a plan to prank all of her best friends, starting with Twilight Sparkle. All Dash needs is a quill and some paper.

Thanks to the amazing DShou for the cover image.

You're a random human on Earth trying to get some sleep, but these blasted ponies keep appearing in your room. You don't know where they come from, or how they got here, but they insist on sleeping with you in a non sexual manner.

Have you ever wanted to get cuddled by a pony? How about against your will? No? Yes? Either way you are getting cuddled whether you like it or not.

Warning: Adorable cuddling may or may not be suitable for younger readers.
Warning: I can't select all the ponies, but yes all ponies(and other species) are capable of cuddling you. No you're not safe.

Edited by: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/technicscratch

This story is driven entirely by user comments. So whatever you say, it will happen.
Continued in Part 2: Raise the Flag

You wake up to find that for whatever reason you are now in Equestria and Twilight is looking down on you with a look on her face that you can only describe as "lascivious." What do you do?

Edited by Kiro0613

Updates Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays

Authors note:
I will be checking up on this story every few days or so to see what you all are saying. Whatever comments you make, regardless of how silly, stupid, or insane it is. I will make it happen. :D

Sister stories
Wake up. See this. What do? Rainbow Dash Edition by me and Hankyhannah (Cancelled)
Everfree Survival by Hrafn
Wake Up With A Hangover. Have Morning Wood. See This. What The Hell Do You Do? by RainbowBob