• Published 19th Feb 2013
  • 13,083 Views, 2,974 Comments

Wake up. See This. What do? (Comment driven story) - RazortheAwesome



(This story is driven entirely by user comments) Out of nowhere you suddenly wake up to find yourself in Equestria with Twilight Sparkle looking down at you with a lascivious grin. What do you do?

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Apples Attack

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Try and dig a tunnel away from Ponyville.

DIG A HOLE. DIG A HOLE TO HIDE IN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!!!!

And if you get caught, begin pelting every living being with apples! Lots and lots of apples!

umm put on a dwarf outfit and start to dig while whistling the diggy diggy hole song and say you name is honeydew

Plan A: Dig an escape tunnel

Unfortunately you have no objects with which to dig your way out of this place. Also you're quite certain that even if you did you wouldn't nearly be able to dig fast enough to escape the wrath of Twilight Sparkle. Its not like you spent your life digging holes for a living so yeah that option is out. Also there is no way in any hell that you are going to use your own hands to start digging. Not only would that be incredibly difficult to do and take an incredibly long time, but it will also hurt due to your fingernails coming off. Yes that does happen.

Your only option at this point is to reason with the orange horse running the apple stand.

Tell Applejack you help her with "bucking" later if she manages to get Twilight away.

OR

Tell AJ if she helps you, you in return will help her to the best of your abilities, which is not answering questions about your appearance.

"if you let me stay, i......i'll work for you, for cheap! seriously, i'll live off apples for a month if it means i can get away!" you're reduced to groveling at the hooves of a sentient orange pony. how undignified, and yet needed at the same time.

"Please just stay quiet!" You tell her as quietly yet as urgently as you possibly can in this situation. "I'll make it up to you. I'll do whatever you want. Just please let me hide here!"

"Who or for that matter what in the hay even are you?" She asks you not in any way quietly.

"if you let me stay, I......" You begin to say. "I'll work for you, for cheap! seriously, I'll live off apples for a month if it means i can get away!"

"I don't even know who or what ya'll are. Why would Ah..."

"APPLEJACK WHERE IS HE!!!???" You hear the voice of what is unmistakably Twilight Sparkle say. ""I KNOW HE CAME THROUGH HERE!!!" She sounds much closer than before.

Offer to buy every single last apple off her farm if she let's you hide there.

The thought occurs to you to try and bribe the orange pony by saying that you'll buy all her apples from her. Unfortunately, partly because of your lack of pants. You don't have any money on you. Hell you don't even know what money is in this world.

Plan B: offer knowledge and wisdom in exchange for you life and virginity

You tell Applejack that you know the secrets of the universe, and if she helps you, you will answer any one question. Except for why you aren't wearing any pants.

"PLEASE!" You say to her. "I'll tell you the secrets of the universe! Anything you want to know I-"

"Get the buck out of mah stand!" She replies, obvious frustration with this whole thing in her voice. Yeah you had no idea why that would work.

Hind Solid Snake style.

Unfortunately you don't know how to hind Solid Snake style. You're pretty sure that 'hind' is another term of a type of helicopter.

"Well it's obvious, isn't it? Here you are, seated behind a veritable plethora of ammunition! It's time to OPEN FIRE!! Grabbing as many apples as you can, you begin to hurl the fruits at high velocity towards your purple nemesis. 'Hah! Take that, ya purple freak!' you yell triumphantly as several red fruits hit their mark, causing Twilight to sputter and stumble."

With no other options left, and no help coming from the orange horse. You do the one thing that you've up to this point been saving as a last resort. Quickly you push her out of the way and get back up. Thinking quickly, you grab an apple and throw it at Twilight's face. Without wasting a second you grab as many of them as you can and start throwing them.

Unfortunately, you forgot that Twilight is a unicorn and in her apparent adrenaline rush she catches them all with what you can only assume is her magic. Since they all stop in mid air and get grabbed in this magenta glow right before they hit her. They all float in mid air for a second before the glow around them stops and they all falls towards the ground, revealing Twilight's "I am a destroyer of worlds" face. With you in her sight she runs right towards you.

Throw an apple at another nearby stand hopefully causing it to lose its supplies and cause a big enough distraction then run like hell and hide in one of the multiple alleys in town.

Thinking quickly, you look around at the other stands. When all hope seems lost you notice that one of them has stacked up its merchandise rather poorly. Taking careful aim, you grab one last apple and throw it at the pile. Time slows for you as you cross your fingers and hope this works.

It does, the apple hits the pile of merchandise causing all of it to fall over, which also causes the stand to fall over for some reason. At the sight of this, every technicolor horse in the area screams and starts to panic. From there they all start running rampantly through the streets screaming at the top of their lungs. You're also pretty sure you hear one of them scream "THE END IS NEIGH!!!"

Look at Applejack and mouth the words "Please forgive me." Then proceed to grab and flip the entire apple cart over to try and halt Twilight's charge towards you and make your dashing escape.

"I'm sorry," you say to the orange pony, whose just been staring at you this whole time, mouth agape. With Twilight still darting towards you through the crowd of panicking horses, you grab the apple stand with both hands and flip it over. You timed it perfectly, just as Twilight is about to reach you a basket of apples falls on her and stops her from moving.

And if all else fails, FUCKING RUN!

With her temporarily distracted. You bolt like you've never bolted before and run the fuck away from here.

The apple basket explodes as Twilight gets back up and looks around. The look on her face suggests that she is ready to end you and all that you know. Unfortunately for her, the technicolor horses all around her are running about in panic. As a result she can't see through the crowd. Even Applejack is having a hard time finding you and finding out what just happened.

Twilight just looks to her friend Applejack, who in turn just looks right back at her. Twilight calms herself down for a moment to catch her breath. Applejack on the other hand, puts a determined look on her face. Seeing this, Twilight nods at her, and Applejack nods right back.

-Elsewhere-

With the crowd of ponies as a distraction you run out of the market and back into the town proper. You run into an alleyway between two houses to stop and catch your breath. Luckily there is a box here you can hide behind. You seemed to have escaped Twilight for now. However, that still leaves the matter of where to go from here. In this place, you do kind of stand out. As much as a human without and pants would stand out in a world of technicolor ponies. You don't know why but you're gonna start calling them ponies now.

"Hey!" you hear another voice call out. Its not one you recognize. "Hey human!" You hear it call out again.

Your curiosity getting the better of you, you peek up over the box to see a mint green unicorn with a golden lyre on her rump standing in the doorway of one the houses directly across the street from you. She's looking right at you. Not only that but she's waving her hoof towards where she is in a manner that practically says 'Come on! Get inside!' without actually saying it.

What do you do?

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