Wake up. See This. What do? (Comment driven story)

by RazortheAwesome


Grand Tour of the Royal Palace

Go with A because Luna is badass

option a. if you meet luna accidentally slap her on her flank and with your best poker face say its a human thing.

Well option A obviously! Wouldn't want to disappoint Lyra now would you?

First take a tour of the palace first. This place looks huge and you need to know the lay of the land in case if you get lost without Celestia tagging along, or if you want to mark all the really cool looking stuff to swipe for Lyra, or if there is some monumental battle in the future that will decide the fate of this world and should it happen at this castle you'll know every square inch of the battlefield... it could happen. But before you take the tour ask where the bathroom is you have been holding it for the past 10 minutes and you feel like you are about to EXPLODE!

I choose A. And as to where we should go, ask her if there's a library, because of all the times you've been here, you could use something to read; also be wary of risen flag, something about him just seems.....not of this existence.

Dude. It's a castle. A FREAKING CASTLE. Take the tour, spend some time with the Princess, ask about her hobbies, and try some cake while you're there... if she lets you.

Also, remember Risen Flag. REMEMBER HIM. He is extremely dangerous and bears you ill-will, keep that in mind ALWAYS.

You're in a freaking Castle in a land of magical talking ponies, when are you ever going to be in this situation again? Take the tour.
Try going to the royal gardens as well and ask Celestia if any of the statues are ponies turned to stone. And if you meet Luna, have her pissed off at Discord for some reason.

A: For when shit hits the fan, and it will

Take the tour and swipe some stuff if any one accuses you of being a thief call them a racist

Option A, starting with the royal Gardens. Imagine, all the opportunities to troll the Princess. Also, if it's night-time, you may well run into Luna. Gotta show some love to the Lunar Princess, after all...

:twilightoops: :facehoof: Not THAT kind of love, monkey boy! Get your mind out of the gutter!

And Celestia's swaying flanks just distracted you, huh? :ajbemused:

Option A.) Visit the throne room, the treasure vault(its guarded by a Dragon), see the Royal Jewels.

Visit the kitchens(meet God-King Chef RamSea and get insulted).

Go to the library and find a random book, read it, its a magic book(maybe by reading it you get cursed/enchanted with some
hilariously inconvenient and/or useful ability).

Go to the Observatory, meet Luna.

Take the tour first, but make sure Celestia's okay with it before you take anything in order to avoid getting in trouble.

During the tour Celestia nonchalantly mentions that you're about to step on a mint condition Honus Wagner baseball card, and you carefully walk around it. She does not explain how it got there, leaving you confused and bewildered.

Option A, where during the tour you go into the kitchen where a cook thinks you're some sort of monster and tries to attack you with a spatula.

While deciding Option A, this letter suddenly appears out of nowhere...

Option A, because you deserve to be punished some more and we want to see you suffer in this world. Such is life when you're transported into a world of ponies dear Jason, you should have learned to deal with it a long time ago.

Option A. Celestia talked about the Wonderbolts and its members. You heard the name "Spitfire" emphasized, and since names somehow automatically fill in the white space and gives you a concept on the named pony's color scheme, you instantly remember that dirty poster. Apparently Celestial was suggesting something.

A) Tour the Castle
1. Do what everybody else says.
2. Somehow meet Luna.

Option A)
But something in the back of your mind is nagging you about Risen Flag. For some reason, he seems very similar to a certain character in some books you once read.

Tour. Main points include: The Main Hall, Throne Room, Gardens, Library, a Bathroom, The Stained Glass Windows, and finally Princess Celestia's rooms.

You would normally make an informed decision, but right now you have urgent matters to attend to. Mainly that you need to use the bathroom really badly.
Run for it, Jason! Run!

At this point, you're pretty sure that the vote is unanimous. However, there is still one thing that is getting in the way of that.

"Um, I'd like to take that tour princess, but..." you begin to say to her.

"But..." she replies as she leans in close to you, the same smiling look still on her face. Seriously, with that smile you have absolutely no idea if she's still trying to troll you or if she is being sincere.

"If I may ask. Where is the bathroom?" you finally ask her. You don't want to say anything, but you've been holding it ever since you left Ponyville, and you kind of feel like you are about to EXPLODE.

"Oh, one moment," Celestia replies. Suddenly, you see her horn light up with magic.... and then you are standing in a bathroom. Seriously, one moment you were standing out in the hallway outside of Twilight's room, and the next you were standing in a bathroom... With Celestia... who was still standing right in front of you. It only occurs to you know that you've never teleported before. It seemed kind of like blinking. Only when you opened your eyes again, you were in a new place. Other than that, it didn't really feel like anything.

Once you got over the initial shock of the fact that you just teleported, you take a moment and looked around this... rather fancy bathroom. The entire thing was marble (or at least you assumed it was) and stone as opposed to tile like you're used to back home, and with a much larger mirror and a sink meant more for ponies than for humans, which didn't surprise you in the least. What surprised you about it though, was the fact that it was gold and not porcelain.

Then you noticed the toilet, which was more or less a hole in the ground (these are ponies; not humans, remember). It was also gold. The fact that it was a hole in the ground didn't bother you at all. You've seen pony toilets before. Hell, you're living with Lyra and Bon Bon.

You look at it for a few more moments, then back at Celestia, who for some reason is still there.

"Oh, don't mind me," she says. The look on her face not changing at all. "Go right ahead." At that point, you kind of freeze. You don't have to go to the bathroom any less, but you're kind of hesitant. Seriously, with that look on her face you have no idea if she is serious or not. Perhaps that is what makes her such a good troll? After a moment of staring at her like this though, she giggles to herself slightly. "I'm just kidding," she says. "I will wait outside." And with that, you watch her head out the door and shut it with her magic, leaving you alone. For some reason, that makes you feel a little better.

One quick bathroom break later, after making sure to wash your hands of course (it only occurs to you now to question why these ponies even have hoof washers, considering they are quadrupedal, so their hooves are always touching the ground anyway), you walk outside to notice Princess Celestia waiting for you. AND NO ONE ELSE!!!

"Shall we begin?" she asks you.

"Yeah, sure," you reply, and with that, the two of you head away to begin your tour.

The first place that the two of you go are the Canterlot Royal Gardens. Apparently, the section of the palace that Celestia had taken Twilight too was not the main one, so the two of you had to pass through it to get to the actual palace. So it seemed like a good place as any to start the tour.

You listen as Celestia tells you all about the garden. When it was first founded, where the plants came from, information about all the statues, and oddly enough, the exact time and wages of the many gardeners who take care of it. Seemed like a trivial thing to you, but hey, you're not about to tell the Princess what to say. Or are you?

"So all of these statues are ponies that you turned to stone?" you ask the princess right as she finishes explaining about another one of them. She just laughs to herself for a moment at that before she speaks again.

"Ha ha, very funny," she replies in a not at all sarcastic way before she leads you through the gardens. Out of nowhere for some reason, you look up and notice some...... thing.... floating in mid air and waving at you before he gives you the thumbs up sign and disappears. You only saw him for a second. Your first instinct is to call him a dragon, but on reflection... you're not sure. Part of you thinks that you've seen him before actually.

"And this is the palace hedge maze," Celestia says out of nowhere, bringing you out of your mental pondering as you look at the entrance to the hedge maze... only to come face to face with a hedge wall that could very well have been over ten feet tall. You couldn't see anywhere inside, you just saw the wall, and by god it was tall. "You know, I could teleport you in to the center and leave you there." She says to you as she leans in close and puts on a really toothy smile.

That.... that actually makes you kind of nervous. You've gone through enough running for your life as it is, you don't need to add a maze to it as well. You then watch Celestia giggle to herself again before walking away. Great, she just trolled you again, and she may have legitimately scared you for a moment.

You just let out a loud sigh of contempt as you walk quickly to catch up to her. Inwardly, you are thanking Zeus and the other gods that she didn't really leave you in there.

After a short walk through the gardens, the two of you finally arrive in the palace proper. As in the MAIN palace, not just the side wing where you took Twilight. As the two of you walk through the main hall, you pass by several elaborately made stain glass windows. You're guessing that each of them displayed proud moments of Equestria's history. Moments of triumph you would say. However, at least two of these windows grab you're attention more than the others.

The first was of what looked like six ponies shooting beams of some kind (you're guessing magic) at a large, dark pony that towered in the sky above them. The second was of the same six ponies doing the same thing to some kind of dragon. Upon closer inspection, it was the same dragon that you saw outside. There were a few others following these of the same ponies doing different things (sometimes with different ponies, and you saw one that was definitely Spike), but what really struck you were the specific ponies in the glass. You recognized them. Hell, you've met them.

"Aren't those..." you're about to ask before Celestia interrupts you.

"Yes," Celestia says as she walks up next to you. "That is my student Twilight Sparkle, and her friends." That, needless to say, shocked you to no end. Yeah, they were all nice ponies, but you didn't expect them to be some kind of heroes. You look closer at the glass. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, hell even Pinkie Pie are all there. This almost leaves you speechless, except that you want to know more.

"Why are they up here?" you ask.

"They are the wielders of objects of great power known as the elements of harmony." Celestia begins to explain. "Each element is a key component of the most powerful force for good in this land. The power of friendship." You're not entirely sure how friendship can actually be a power, but since this world has magic, you aren't about to ask questions. "Applejack represents the element of honesty, Rainbow Dash, the element of loyalty, Rarity is the element of generosity, Fluttershy is the element of kindness, Pinkie Pie is the element of laughter, and Twilight..." Celestia pauses for a moment at that, as if she is remembering a time long past. Not much of this makes sense to you, but that somehow does explain A LOT about their personalities. Applejack never lied to you, Rarity gave you the suit you are wearing now for nothing, Fluttershy was the kindest pony you've seen, and Pinkie Pie... well, you've got no words for her, but it does make sense to you.

"Yep, that's me," the ghost of Pinkie Pie says as she giggles to herself. You just ignore her though.

"Twilight Sparkle represents the most powerful element of them all," Celestia continued. "One that only appears when the other five are present, and the most powerful force created by the power of friendship. The element of magic." That... actually made a startling amount of sense to you as well. You've heard other ponies refer to Twilight as "the element of magic" but you had no idea what that actually meant. Hell, even Risen Flag brought it up when you saw him (something still bugs you about him). You still can't piece it quite together, but from the description Celestia gave you, she is pretty much a god.

"So, what you are saying is," you say to her. "That when honesty, loyalty, generosity, kindness, and laughter all come together, you get magic?"

"Yes," Celestia says as she nods her head. "Because friendship is magic." You have no idea why, but that kind of blows your mind a bit. You still don't understand how it works or why, but it does explain some things to you. Some... things... not everything.

"Come," Celestia then says as she trots down the hall. "There is still more to see." You stare at the windows for a moment longer, but after that moment, you turn to follow... wait. You notice that Celestia is purposefully swaying her hips with every step she is taking. You know she wasn't doing that before.

Great. Even now she is trolling you.

As you walk down the halls something in the corner of your eye catches your attention but when you turn to look it's no longer there. You mentally shrug it off as nothing but when you turn back your vision is filled with two big cyan eyes and dark blue fir, her mussle no more than a few inches away from your face. Needless to say you freak right the fuck out.

(Just to make sure we're on the same page, it's Luna and yes I did pick 'A' by the way)

The plot. It thickens. It thickens like a rich broth on a rainy night, or like PedoBears staff when he watches The Powerpuff Girls Movie. I like it.

~

A). Get a craving for apple products and make your way over to the Kitchen, with Princess Celestia, where you abruptly run into Princess Luna. Freeze dramatically when you recognize her and see she's doing the same.

"You're the pony i saw the other day!" You say, while pointing dramatically.
"Thou art the one that slept with the Elements of Harmony!" Luna exclaims.
"J-jason! You actually slept with the other elements.....with my most faithful student....while my sister watched?!" Celestia gasps, with a mixed look of shock, embarrassment, anger, and troll.
"Wait, she's your sister? I guess that would kinda explain the similarity with the wings and the horns and-, hold on! I didn't!" You deny.
"Just when I thought we had something special. And t-that i might end up being your little pony." Celestia says with a sniff.
"W-what?!" You say, your face heating in a blush.

Celestia bursts out laughing and you glare at her with a scowl, while Luna just face-hoofs at her Sister's antics.

"Anyways, nothing happened. It was just a nightmare." You try again, practically shivering at the memory.
"We admit that we are still quite confused as to how copulating with several lovely mares constitutes being a nightmare." Luna stated.
"Perhaps Jason here is gay. That would......explain everything, actually." Celestia offered, seemingly pondered.
"W-what?! I'm not gay!" You cry, which drives Celestia into hysterics again.

"And through here is the grand dining hall and kitchen," Celestia says to you as you make your way down another hall. You have to admit, this palace was a pretty nice place.

On way there however, you see something out of the corner of your eye. Something... blue. You turn to look, but when you do, it's no longer there.

'Must have been my imagination,' you think to yourself as you keep walking. Right as you turn back to look in front of you though, your vision is suddenly filled by two large, cyan eyes, dark blue, indigo fur, and another pony's muzzle less than an inch away from your face. This pony isn't princess celestia, but like her, she has both wings and a horn. Also her mane is made of space. You just stare back at her. Not moving. Not blinking. You just froze dramatically when you saw her. Why? Because you recognized her, and from the looks of it, she recognized you too.

"You're the pony I saw the other day!" you almost scream right in her face while pointing dramatically (even though you had to step back a bit to do so).

"Thou art the one that slept with the Elements of Harmony!" the indigo pony exclaims, seemingly just as shocked as you are.

"J-jason!" Celestia gasps. The look on her face a mixture of shock, embarrassment, and anger. "You actually slept with the other elements.....with my most faithful student....while my sister watched?!"

"Wait, she's your sister?" You say as you try to gauge the situation, then look back at the indigo pony. "I guess that would kinda explain the similarity with the wings and the horns and. Hold on!" you say as you get back on track "I didn't slee-!"

"Just when I thought we had something special," Celestia says before you can finish. The look of anger and shock on her face is not replaced by one that looks like... sadness. You watch her sniff for a moment, and then out of nowhere you watch a tear roll down her eye. "I though... *sniff* I though.... I thought that I might end up being your little pony!!!" she lets out as she starts crying. This is really happening, Celestia is crying right now.

"Wait, what?!" you say. You could swear you felt yourself blush, but you're not sure. You're kind of confused right now.

Then, just as quickly as she had started. Celestia stops crying, and then bursts out laughing. Your confusion stops as you finally get it. She just trolled you again, and you just walked right into that one.

You just look at Celestia with a scowl on your face while the indigo pony brings her hoof to her face. You would call it a face palm, but since they have no palms, you guess the appropriate term is face hoof.

"Oh the look on your face," Celestia says as she brings her laughter to a stop. "I wish I had a camera."

"Sister!" the indigo pony behind you says. She sounds frustrated.

"Oh, of course. Dear me, where are my manners," she says. You would answer that and say that she threw them into the deepest pit of hell, but you feel as if that is not going to accomplish anything. "Jason," Celestia says as she walks up next to the indigo pony and puts her wing around her. "This is my younger sister Luna. Princess of the night, and the one who raises the moon." That... actually kind of makes sense to you as well. You had to admit you were wondering about that. It clearly gets night here and according to Celestia, she only raises the sun. So, apparently, this pony takes care of the moon. In that strange, physics defying way she explained it to you.

"Nice to meet you," you say to Luna as you hold out a hand for her.

"Charmed," Luna politely says as she shook it. From a first glance, you could tell that she was not NEARLY as much of a troll as her sister.

"Oh, and for the record," you say as you turn back to Celestia. "Nothing happened. It was just a nightmare."

"We admit," Luna then comes back into the conversation. "That we are still quite confused as to how copulating with several lovely mares constitutes being a nightmare."

"Perhaps Jason here races on the other side of the track." Celestia say as she seemingly pondered it, though that troll smile was still on her face. "That would......explain everything, actually." Even though you had never heard that term before, you didn't have to be a genius to figure out what she meant.

"I. Am not. Gay," You say kind of angrily to Celestia. "So shut up."

"All right, whatever you say," Celestia says with that troll smile still on her face. With that, she just turns around and keeps heading down the hallway. You follow her, and oddly enough, Princess Luna comes along too. Presumable to keep Celestia from trolling you any more but hey, you aren't complaining. You're getting kind of tired of it to be honest.

"I apologize for my sister," Luna says to you as you keep walking. Turns out your instincts were right. "She can be-"

"It's okay," you say to her. "I understand." She stops talking at that. She seems... kind of nervous for some reason. You decide not to fuel it though, not with Celestia around. You think you can still see a troll smile on her face even though she is in front of her. Her hips are no longer swaying though, so that is a good thing... you guess.

Eventually, the three of you reach the dining hall, and BY THE BEARD OF ZEUS IT IS THE BIGGEST DINING HALL YOU HAVE EVER SEEN!!! Seriously, she could easily fit fifty ponies at the table here. It also looked set for some reason. If you had to guess, maybe some type of event was going to happen here soon. Maybe tonight. Or maybe it was just set because it was a royal table. Either way made sense to you.

After that, the three of you made your way from there into the royal kitchen, where some... you guess productive things were happening.

"THESE MUSHROOMS ARE SO RAW THAT ONE OF THEM JUST TOLD ME THAT THE PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE!!!" you watch a blonde maned, white coated pony scream at one of the other chefs. He then went on to yelling similar comments at several other chefs. He was so into it that he didn't even notice the three of you walking up behind him.

"AND YOU-" he screamed as he turned around to face you three. Presumably he was about to say something else, but you kind of caught him off guard.

"Jason," Celestia came in. "Meet our royal head chef Ram Sea." You don't say anything to him, and he doesn't say anything to you. He just keeps looking up at you. At you, only you and not the two princesses. Judging by the look on his face, he seems kind of terrified of you.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" you suddenly hear as you look to your right, only to see one of the other chefs running straight for you, jump onto and over one of the tables, and then leap at you with a spatula.

That would have been epic. If you hadn't in one swift and fluid motion, grab him in mid air before he hit you, used his oncoming momentum to spin him around and throw him onto the ground, and then take the spatula from his hoof and hold it to his neck. Now that was an epic move, and you have absolutely no idea how you did that.

Insane pony chef: 0
You: 1

Go you.

"RAMIREZ!!!" Ram Sea, who seems to have instantly regained his composure, screams at him. "WHAT THE F*CK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!!!???"

"He's a..." the spatula chef you are still holding to the ground begins to say, but then Ram Sea cuts him off.

"Your majesty," Ram Sea begins to say in a normal speaking voice for once. "Is this creature with the two of you?"

"Why yes," Celestia says in her usual, calm, troll voice. "He is our esteemed guest." At that, Ram Sea's attention turns back to the pony on the ground. His eyes seething with rage. You just silently get off of the pony and stand back up. He just keeps laying there.

"Sir... I."

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!!!" Ram Sea screams at him. "NOW QUIT YOUR BITCHIN, AND GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!!!" the other chef got back and ran like a professional sprinter out of the kitchen. Nothing else interesting happened in the kitchen after that.

After all of that was over, the three of you headed for the royal library, which like the kitchen was the biggest library you've ever seen. It had everything, at least as far as books go. Randomly you pull off a book from one of the shelves and read through it. Even though its also in english, you can't make heads or tails of what its talking about.

"Oh, that's beginners guide to magic," Celestia says to you as she reads over your shoulder. "Its meant to help new and inexperienced magic users to sharpen their skills." Part of you wants to believe that that was another attempt to troll you again, but since there isn't any possible way you can do magic, you dismiss it and put the book back.

The more you look through this library though (seriously, its like a maze), your mind keeps going back to Risen Flag. You're not sure why, but something is really bothering you about him. Like he shouldn't be here, like he's some how a piece of a puzzle that doesn't at all go with the original set. It's kind of hard to describe, and the way he looked at you... You're not entirely sure what to think, but what you do know is that you should watch yourself around him. You get the feeling he dosen't like you very much.

As you head to the back of the library, you find an entire section filled with every comic book you could possibly imagine. Seriously, even though they are all pony comics and ones you've no doubt never heard of, it seems like every comic book ever published is here.

You then watch Luna walk around for a moment in this section before she takes out a book with her magic, walks over to a bean bag chair in the center of the room, and then plops down to read it. Apparently, Luna likes comic books. You notice that the title of the book she is reading is "Sandmare." Well, if that series is anything like the one you're thinking of from your world, then you can't complain in her selection.

After that, you and Celestia leave Luna to her comics and leave the library.

On the way back through the palace, you and Celestia get into a little discussion about each other. No trolling, just honest small talk.

"So, what are your hobbies?" you ask her.

"Oh me," Celestia replied, trying to seem as innocent as possible. "I enjoy teaching, playing tennis, golf, swimming, and-"

"And eating cake," you say before she can finish, a sly smile on your face. Celestia just lets out a sigh at that.

"Yes, and eating cake," she says.

Tell celestia the cake is a lie :trollestia:

"You know that the cake is a lie right?" You say to her out of nowhere.

"What?" she replies back, confused.

"Nothing," you say as you try to look as innocently as possible away from her. You can't help but laugh a little on the inside at that. She won't get it, ever, but you... you're inwardly laughing your ass off right now.

Eventually, the two of you reach the throne room, where Celestia climbs into her... throne you guess you can call it. It's not really a chair, more of just a place for her to sit. You just stand in front of her. Neither of you speak for several moments, and you can see the cheerful and trollestic smile slowly drop from her face as she slowly got serious. You can feel it dropping from yours as well. There was a reason you came here, and though you've been putting it off, now was time.

"All right," you say as you let out a loud sigh. "So I suppose I shou-" Before you can say anything else, Celestia holds up one of her hooves, which you take as a sign to stop talking.

"Before you say anything else," she begins. "I am terribly sorry, but no, I cannot send you home." The look on her face showed that now, she was DEFINITELY not trolling you. You can't help but feel incredibly disappointed at that. Even though you kind of expected the answer to be like that, it still didn't stop you're more pressing questions.

"Why?" you asked, to which Celestia took in a deep breath before she began explaining.

"It's not as if I can't send you back home, I can," Celestia began, looking more at the floor than you. "But I would have no idea where to send you." Okay, now you're interest is piqued for now. "You see, there are multiple worlds, or universes as it were, that are populated by humans, and I don't know which one you are from, and since most universes haven't achieved dimensional travel, I'm going to take a guess that you couldn't tell me what universe you are from even if I showed it to you." You kind of had to admit, she had you there. You had no idea how you got here, and if there are multiple worlds with humans, you wouldn't even know which one is yours. "Plus," Celestia continued. "The barriers between the worlds are not only separated by space, but time as well. So even if I knew where you were from, I wouldn't have no idea when you are from in that world's timeline as well, so there is a greater chance of me sending you far into the past or future in your world instead of what you consider the present." You're not sure if that makes any sense, but if that is the case, things did just become a bit more complicated here. "That is why we need Twilight Sparkle for this," Celestia continued. "I may not know where or when you are from in the universe, but she does. She was the one who pulled you from your universe to this one, so she is the only one right now who knows when and where you are from. Once she is awake and fully herself, then I will have her tell me where she pulled you from so I can send you back." Celestia finished, her eyes still on the ground more than you.

That, kind of made sense to you, but at the same time, only complicated things for you even more. If there were multiple worlds with humans in them, then it only made sense that Celestia wouldn't know which one is yours. You probably wouldn't know better yourself if there were multiple words of ponies (which you didn't doubt there were, but you don't want to ask right now). Still, that did mean one thing. It was a possibility that you did not want to entertain, but still, it was one that had to be addressed, and honestly, it frightened you to death.

"What if she doesn't remember?" you ask Celestia. "What if she just randomly picked a world of humans and randomly picked me without even thinking? What if she doesn't even know where I am from?" It scared you to think that, but there was a possibility that that was the case.

"That, is why we are here," Celestia answered, her mood not any better. "In the event that Twilight doesn't know where you are from, I will look into the multiverse with her to help her find it. Even if I can't tell what world you are from, she should be able to when she sees it again. It may take some time, but I'm sure we'll find it, and once we do, I'll send you back home." That made you feel a little better, but you still weren't sure how long "some time" was. You decide not to ask though, it shouldn't take that long at all, right? Right? "Is that everything you wanted to know?" Celestia then asked you. While those were the answers you were looking for, it really wasn't. There was still one other thing on her mind.

"Why did Twilight want a centaur?" you ask Celestia. At that, she looks back up straight at you, as if you just now caught her attention. "Twilight said she needed me to make a centaur, so why? My friend Lyra told me that they had no potential for magic, or something like that, I think, and that they were great warriors of some kind, but Twilight was somehow convinced that they could do magic. So why did she want one?" You're not entirely sure if Celestia can answer this, but you're at least hoping that she can shed some light on it. Celestia just stares at you for several minutes. She doesn't appear to even blink. She seems surprised by what you said, and you still wanted an answer about that.

"I was hoping that what Spike told me was just a misunderstanding," Celestia said as she took another deep breath and recomposed herself. "But, if you are saying it's true, then I suppose he didn't somehow misspeak. I am guessing that Twilight's friends will vouch for the two of you as well?" To that, you only nod. "I see." Celestia pauses for a moment to take another deep breath before she continues. "To make an incredibly long, and not exactly pleasant story short, this is not the first time in Equestria's history we have encountered your species." Before she had your curiosity, but now she has your attention. Your full attention. Hell, you're about to find out why Lyra may have known something about humans. "Long ago, so long that there aren't any ponies alive who remember it, a group of humans came into our world. Whether or not they were from the same world as you I cannot say, but that's not the issue. They discovered our world by accident, and we took them in as refugees. Over time, some of them fell in love with some of the ponies who associated with them, and well, things happened, and from them, a new race was created, the centaurs." She paused for another moment before continuing. "Eventually, they found a way home, but they didn't leave. They had come to love it here, so diplomatic relationships were established between the two worlds. To summarize what happened, the humans wanted more than we could give them and turned hostile. It was only thanks to their glorious ruler that they returned. In the end, all of the humans left our world and we never saw them again. The centaurs remained though, as they had felt they had no place in the human world, they felt like they had more of a place here, so they were allowed to stay. While they had absolutely no ability to use magic, what your friend said was true, they were great and noble warriors. Earthpony, unicorn, pegasus, there wasn't a warrior among any of them that could match the raw skill of the centaurs." She paused for another moment and looked down again, you're guessing this is the part of the story where things went south. "However, like the humans before them, they soon turned hostile. They believed in a very high concept of honor. They believed that only the strongest were meant to rule, and that death on the battlefield was the most glorious death possible. Eventually, because we turned on their human fathers, they came to believe that we were oppressing them in much the same way. Because they were stronger than us, and they knew it, they took it as a sign that they had to do the one thing they were capable of doing. They wanted power, because they believed they were stronger than us, they believed that they should be ruling over us and not the other way around. They attacked many towns and killed many ponies, regardless of whether or not they fought back. What followed was a long campaign in which every centaur was hunted down and killed, whether on the battlefield, or elsewhere." Celestia stopped talking right there.

That... was kind of a lot to take it. Centaurs once existed here, and were killed. So this is why Lyra knew about humans but no one else did, they were boogeymen to these ponies, the creatures that hid in their closet and wanted to do bad things to them. That was the impression they made on them when they left. You've always known your own race to be hostile, but this... this kind of takes the cake.

"Come," Celestia said as she got up from her throne and walked around behind it. Hesitantly, you followed her. What followed was you following her through another hallway down into the palace. It didn't look like she was taking you to any kind of dunegon, but still, there was something off about this.

"If all the humans that you knew were assholes who tried to conquer you? Why are you letting me walk around?" you ask her, it was a valid question.

"Because," Celestia said right as the two of you reached a large, vault like door at the end. A door that didn't have a key, but rather a hole in the center of it. "I know that like us, there is good in humans." And with that, Celestia leaned down, put her horn into the hole (so many ways you could read into that to troll her, but you held back), and with an application of magic, the door opened. On the other side, was what you only guessed was some kind of treasure vault. Gold, jewels, and all kinds of things lined the room, most of it in glass cases. You're not sure why, but you kind of expected this place to be guarded by a dragon. "Come," Celestia said as she led you through the treasure room. As much as you wanted too, you had to fight the urge not to swipe anything from here. You get a feeling that she would know if you did.

She eventually leads you to the end of the room where there are multiple sets of doors, you're guessing that each one was for a different phase of Equestrian history. This wasn't just a treasure vault, this was some kind of relic vault as well. Something that these ponies didn't want in museums. Celestia then put her horn in another one of the doors, and like the first one, it opened. On the other side of it, was something that shocked you more than the treasure you saw before.

You and Celestia walked into a room of no joke, f*cking human artifacts. There were clothes, weapons, books, banners, you even saw a few of these carrying a cross. Some group of people who practiced christianity maybe. One of the other items you saw was, no joke, a f*cking flintlock pistol. As much as you couldn't believe you were seeing all of this, it was the thing at the back, that got most of your attention. At the very back of the room, surrounded by what looked like a shrine of some kind, was a sword. A sword with a golden hilt that was placed in a block of stone. You felt yourself walk towards it until you were standing right in front of it. You had little doubt what it was, but at the same time, it didn't make sense to you, it was just a story.

"This," Celestia said as she walked up next to you. "This belonged to the greatest human I have ever known." You couldn't believe it, this really was Excalibur. You could say again how you didn't believe it, but that would be unnecessary. This was f*cking Excalibur, the sword of King Arthur.

Slowly, you reached out to touch it. Right before you did, you looked at Celestia, who only nodded. Because you had the go ahead, you reached forward and grabbed the handle. Right as you did though, something in the back of your mind stopped you.

"Only one character can wield this weapon. You are not channeling him."

The message came up in the back of your head where you knowingly channel the fictional characters you use. You considered for a moment switching out one of them for the one you know can use this weapon. You ponder for a moment, but then you let go. You don't need this weapon. You don't need a sword. You need to get home, what is the point of having a sword? You let your hand fall to your side and take a deep breath. You then look back up at Celestia, who only stares back at you.

No words need to be said about this. You just smile for a moment, as does she. Even a race like this can believe that there is good in all things. You spend a while looking through the human artifacts before you have to leave.

-Some time later-

"So, are you sure you don't want to stay here at the palace?" Celestia asked you as the two of you walked outside again. "It would be no trouble at all."

"I appreciate the offer but," you say right before you stop in front of the carriage that Celestia had called for you. "I still have some things I want to do in Ponyville before I go home. Plus, I still have to make up for destroying Applejack's apple stand." You and Celestia have a little laugh at that. "So yeah."

"Well, if you ever need anything," Celestia says. "Just talk to Spike, he knows how to send messages directly to me. So if you need me, don't hesitate to talk to him. Oh, and I will let you know when Twilight wakes up."

"Thanks," you say to her. "And Celestia. Thanks. Thanks for everything." You say with a smile. To which, she only smiles back, not the troll smile from before, but a genuine, kind, almost motherly smile. She then raises her right hoof and puts it on your shoulder.

"I can tell you are a good person, Jason Morgan. Really, I can." She says to you. "Even if you aren't a pony, I can still tell that you possess all the qualities of friendship."

"Thank you," you say to her one last time. After a quick moment of staring at each other, Celestia takes her hoof off of you, and you hope into the carriage. "Goodbye for now." Celestia says to you.

"Yeah, good bye, and again, thanks." you say as you take your seat in the carriage.

"Oh and by the way," Celestia says as she leans in close to you. "I cast the heat spell on you again." And with that, she puts the troll smile back on. Though, you aren't worried about this, not at all.

"No you didn't," you say back to her, to which she only laughs.

"No, no I didn't," she says as she leans back.

Then, the carriage takes off and flies out into the sky towards Ponyville. You and the princess share one last goodbye before you go, but after that, you are due to return to Ponyville.

-The amount of time it takes to fly between Canterlot and Ponyville later-

"Lyra, could you get that!?" Bon Bon shouted from her kitchen as she heard a knock at the door.

"Fine," Lyra replied with a groan. She begrudgingly walked over toward the door and opened it up.

"Hi," you say as you look down at her. It doesn't even take Lyra a second to respond.

"JASON!" Lyra screams as she jumps forward and tackles you to the ground in an epic hug. "You're back!"

"Yeah, I guess I am," you say as she gets off of you and walks in with you.

"Lyra, who is at the door?" Bon Bon says as she walks out into the living room just as you and Lyra enter. "JASON!" She shouts as she runs up and hugs you and doesn't pin you to the ground like Lyra did. "I thought you'd left for your world by now!" Bon Bon says, still kind of relieved that you aren't gone. You'd feel kind of bad too if you left them so suddenly like that.

"Yeah, that's not for a while," you say as you take a seat on the couch. "Besides, I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to either of you." With that, all of you laugh. You all laugh with joy for several moments.

"So, did you bring anything back from the palace?" Lyra eagerly asked as she leaned in close, killing the mood instantly.

"Oh nothing much," you say as you reach into your coat pocket. "Just this." At that, you pull out a fork, a fork from the large dining room in the palace.

"A fork?" Lyra replies as she levitates it over to herself.

"Oh, not just any fork," you say as you lean back and remember just where that fork came from.

-Earlier, in the kitchen-

"THIS CAKE IS SO GOOD!!!" Celestia practically shouted as you watched her take another bite of the rather exquisite cake that the chefs had baked for her. You could tell that Luna was barely tolerating this. You however, couldn't help but notice how every time she took the golden fork out of her mouth, she did it slowly, and while looking directly at you.

-Back to the present-

Both Lyra and Bon Bon had to stop for a moment to pick up their jaws when you told them that.

"So this that fork..." Bon Bon began to ask.

"Yep," you replied. You don't say anything else, you just lean back and bask in the glory that you achieved for winning the troll war. This battle goes to you.

"So," Lyra said once she got over the initial shock of the Celestia fork and returning to her former chipperness. "You know what this calls for!?" She says with an epic smile. Both you and Bon Bon just look at her.

"Do we even have any left?" you ask her.

"Are you kidding?" Lyra replies with a wave of her hoof. "For you, our favorite human, we always have some." She said with a wicked grin. You couldn't help but feel your own face match Lyra's. You then look over to Bon Bon, she's doing it as well. Well, you see no other alternative to what you must do now. They are your friends after all.

Your friends.