Toking before your meeting with Twilight is a BAD idea...
... Ask yourself one question... Do you REALLY want to be HIGH when talking to the pony who tried to rape you? Who has uber-magic? Who you can't even feel safe being in the same room with without her friends, your friends, a baby dragon, and a combat knife?
Say no to the weed, and be ready for anything when you meet her. You can melt your brain with marijuana, or the pony equivalent, AFTER you get the stressful meeting out of the way.
As awesome as it sounds unwinding with some weed, you think it won't be beneficial if you aren't 100% when you talk to twilight. Tell your friends that you'll decline for the moment but promise that you'll smoke some with them after you're done with the "Twilight Meeting". But for now, ask them if they have any books concerning unicorn anatomy or......wait, I got it. Twilight Sparkle was insane sure, but maybe its possible she has relatives? Ask your friends if she has any and if so, if you can arrange a meeting maybe after all this business with her has blown over; it'd be wise to ask her relatives if they know anything that can bring Twilight back to her chipper studious self.
Maybe grab some apples or some food, bring up some banter about inane things, and just go over EVERY single little detail that's happened while you were here; maybe you can glean something useful from all of it that will help you
Yeah I'm just going to second this idea and suggest that a more productive use of time might be to try learning a bit more about the world you're in, after all you've only really been around Ponyville and there's a good chance it's not a typical town.
Response: As tempting as it is, I would like to be fully here when I go confront the Purple Menace. After we meet up with them, we can. As a way to celebrate if everything goes smoothly.
Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT get high before you see the evil purple rapist! Being high could cause more problems than its worth. get coffee instead.
AVOID GETTING HIGH!!! You are about to go into a room with the mare who tried to RAPE YOU. Getting high impairs judgment and reduces hand/eye coordination. Basically, get high and you get fucked. Even though you might enjoy it, she is still rapist.
Yeah... would you trust yourself if you were drugged and in the same room as a pony that wants to mate with you? I don't think so.
Say no to the weed, You must first survive the talk with Twilight. After that is done, then get high to reward yourself.
You decide to not take any drugs or alcohol until after your talk with Twilight. You will need to be in your best state of mind while in the same room with her.
Here's the plan: Do NOT get high. What if Twilight tries to rape you? Then, unless the ponies intervene, you're screwed!
Anyways, No getting high. It would be inefficient and counterproductive with the meeting with Twilight. Once there, learn why the buck she needs a centaur, then proceed to cheer her up, or whatever.
While Lyra's offer does sound tempting, and believe you it is given all the stress you've been under when it comes to that insane purple crazy pony (though you've been calming down a lot as of late with Applejack being nice to you, Pinkie Pie's party, and everything that happened today was fun), you don't even need a second to think through why this ia a bad idea.
"Yeah, sorry Lyra," you say as you look over at Lyra. "But I'm gonna have to pass on that one." It really doesn't take any willpower at all for you to say that. "I kind of want to be in my best state of mind when I meet her, so yeah. Maybe afterwards once we get out of it, but not right now. I'm sorry, its just that I really don't want to be high when I meet her. I have enough problems when it comes to her." That is the truth. After all, you don't feel completely safe even with her magic horn blocker thing on, all her and your friends around, and your knife with you. You don't need to add being high to that list of complications. Sure, you have Pinkie Pie's cupcake (you kind of want to know what the deal with that is), but you would prefer not to use it.
Lyra just looks back at you with a slightly disappointed look on her face. You then watch her slowly look towards the ground. You're just about to say that you're sorry about that when suddenly.
"Congratulations! You pass the test!" Lyra shouts as she throws her hooves up into the air and puts a smile on her face (which looks kind of like this). Okay, now you are just confused.
"What test?" you ask her.
"The power and responsibility test," Lyra replies. "You resisted the temptations of getting high when you knew that you shouldn't, thus proving that you ARE responsible and are making good choices!" She then starts clapping her hooves together. "Bravo, Jason... Bravo." That... did absolutely nothing to alleviate your confusion.
You look over at Bon Bon, hoping she will have something, but she looks just as confused as you do. The both of you then look back at Lyra.
"Lyra," you begin to say. "You made all of that up just now didn't you?" At that, Lyra suddenly starts laughing nervously and rubbing the back of her head with a hoof. You and Bon Bon however, are not laughing.
"Yeah," she replies after a few moments of laughing. "Yeah I kind of did."
At that, you try to hold it back, and fail miserably. You start laughing, as does Bon Bon. Lyra then starts laughing with you guys, and soon enough, there is enough laughter to fill the void of the room. You even start to hear Ghost Pinkie Pie laughing for seemingly no reason.
Yeah, everything seems better now, and you're not sure why.
Don't get high. Ya the meeting is a few hours away, but remember this stuff is way more powerful than the stuff back home, and you really don't feel like seeing Snake or the Hind right now.
So why don't you pass the time telling Lyra and Bon Bon more about your world, in fact why not tell them about your favorite Movies, TV Shows and Video Games (Insert Whatever You Like Razor). Lyra and Bon Bon could potentially make money off your stories by presenting them as their own and that would be the biggest reward you could ever give them
Well its quite obvious isn't it? BAKE SOME MUTHAFUCKIN COOKIES! Or don't get high... whichever one that will help you have a clear mind the most before you enter the lair of the purple beast.
Instead, the three of you pass the time doing other, and Bon Bon's opinion, more productive, things. She even volunteers to bake some cookies for all of you, which you do not object to. Cookies do seem like a good idea. Hell, Cookies are ALWAYS a good idea.
In the meantime, you pass tie them by telling Lyra and Bon Bon stories about your world, including some of your favorite movies, TV shows, and of course, video games, and basically what constitues as fiction for you guys.
Lyra in particular likes hearing about the works of J.R.R. Tolkein and C.S. Lewis, since apparently Middle Earth and Narnia have a lot in common with Equestria.
"So what you're saying is," Lyra said. "That worlds like Equestria are considered fantasy to you guys?"
"Yeah," you reply. "I mean, granted from what I've seen of magic, its not even close to what Gandalf could do, but still..."
"Oh, you should read some of the counts of Starswirl the Bearded." Lyra says to you. "I bet he could kick your Gandalf's flanks any day."
"Yeah, we'll see," is all you say back.
"So, are there any other stories like those?" Lyra asks you as she leans in closer to you and smiles like she's pleading for more, which she is. You take a moment to think about that for a moment. There are a lot of stories like that, but which ones are worth telling her.
"Well..."
-Later-
Things with Twilight Sparkle will, understandably, be tense. It is therefore a wise idea to do something fun and relaxing with her at some point during your visit. After talking with her, ask about her history.
Inevitably this will lead to the two of you sleeping adorably in a book fort together in an entirely non sexual manner.
The next morning pick out a plot-relevant book from the fort, accidentally destroying it. Also send imaginary Pinkie to beat up the author for loopholeing around the winner's suggestions.
As much as you would love a toke, you decide not to go for it.
Instead, you feel the need to meditate on your evening with Twilight... despite never feeling any desire at all to sit and think about her prior.
She is liable to be pretty shook up over what she did, and possibly willing to try again out of desperation, so it might be good to get Lyra to cast any wards she can recall on you before the date... erk, meeting. Even if she can still dispel them at the drop of a hat, at least you know you at least tried to protect yourself.
As for the actual conversation, you ponder it quite a bit, ranging from acting out scenarios she might do to considering reactions she would have...
And then your brain starts hurting and you chase after Lyra for that toke.
After some more talk of your world's fiction, getting into some of the sci-fi stuff this time, and eating some of Bon Bon's cookies (BY GOD, THEY WERE AWESOME!!!), Bon Bon calls away Lyra upstairs. They've been gone for quite a while, though you do hear some whispers of their voices upstairs. They seem to be talking about your meeting with Twilight tonight, and both are understandably nervous about it. You don't suppose you can really blame them for that though. You are their friend after all.
Since you have some time to yourself, you take a moment to close your eyes and gather your thoughts about what is to come.
You imagine yourself and Twilight sitting at opposite ends of a table. She looks shaken up over everything she did, which you're not surprised at, but she's not trying anything. She doesn't even look at you, though things still seem tense.
You then make the first move and start talking. It doesn't do much at first, but things go well. You ask her about a bunch of things, including her history, and the two of you seem to get along just fine.
Eventually, this ends up with the two of you asleep in a book fort that she made using her magic in a completely platonic and entirely non sexual manner. You're not sure why, but this makes you feel better. You feel calm, relaxed, like nothing can hurt you.
"Jason," you then hear Bon Bon's voice say as you open your eyes back up again to find yourself back on Lyra and Bon Bon's couch. Both of them are standing in front of you, looking kind of nervous. You just look back at them. "It's almost time." Bon Bon then says. "Are you..." she then begins to say. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" You think about that for a moment, but then you look back at her. You then let a comforting smile form across your face as you stand back up.
"Yeah," you say to her. "Yeah, I'm sure." In truth, you are. You have protection, friends, and your knife. You feel like you can take on the world.
"All right," Lyra then says. "Well I suppose we should get going then." At that, you then look at the clock, your dinner date is thirty minutes away. You guess its about time you headed off.
After a short walk, the three of you find yourself headed towards a giant tree in the middle of town. You're not entirely sure why you never noticed that before. Lyra explains that that's the town library, and that Twilight lives there. From what little you've gathered on Twilight's personality, it seems like the perfect home for her. For some reason, Bon Bon brought a basket of cookies with her. You suppose its for her, Lyra, and possibly the others while they stand guard. You also have Pinkie Pie's cupcake in a little box, which you're carrying with you.
As you get closer, you notice Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy all waiting outside the house for you. The moment they all see you, then run up to you.
"Jason!" Rarity says as she gets to you first. "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean she did-"
"Yeah," you say to her before she can finish her sentence. "Yeah, I'm sure, Rarity." You give her the most comforting smile you can. "I thought about it a lot, and this is what I want to do. If nothing else, it will at least give some closure to this whole thing." Rarity just stares at you for a few moments, but then speaks again.
"Well, I suppose so," she then says as she looks at the ground away from you.
"Don't worry, Jason," Rainbow Dash says as she flies right up to you. "If she tries anything, we'll save your flank before you can say 'thank you Rainbow Dash,'"
Make a cookie cannon for self defense some thing that uses compressed air or magic to launch those amazing edible discs at high valocity
"Yeah, you can count on us," Pinkie Pie then said. "Cause we are locked and loaded." Out of nowhere, presumably out of hammerspace, she then pulls out what looks like a giant, pink, disk launcher. At least you think its a disk launcher, since the barrel is kind of flat. It also has a lot of unneeded decorations on it like glitter and her cutie mark painted on it.
Pretty much every pony is just as confused as you are at this.
"Um, Pinkie Pie," Lyra then says. "What is that?"
"Oh this?" Pinkie Pie replies. "This is my super dooper work in progress cookie cannon!" She says as she takes out a rag and starts rubbing it. "It shoots out amazing edible cookies at such a high velocity that you don't even have time to chew!" You're kind of weird out by this, and so does everybody else. "Oh, you brought ammo. Thanks, Bon Bon!" Pinkie then says as she zips over and takes the basket from Bon Bon's mouth.
You all look at each other for a moment and just silently agree to forget about that thing completely.
"Um... hi Jason," you then look behind the others to notice Fluttershy.
"Hi Fluttershy," you repsond to her. She just responds by smiling and letting out a "squee" noise. You also think you can see a hint of a blush on her face behind her long mane.
But yeah, after some more brief discussion, and another assurance of you being fine from Applejack, who promises to buck Twilight's skull into infinity (which you don't doubt given what you've seen her do to the trees), you all make your way inside.
The inside of the library was... pretty much exactly how you expected it. It was a hollowed out tree that was a library. No surprise there. What was kind of a surprise however, was that Spike had set up a table in the middle of the room with plates, silverware, and even candles set up. So this was going to be a candle lit dinner apparently. You weren't about to complain about that though.
"Oh, you're here," Spike said as he turned to look at you all. He then walked over and spoke to Rainbow Dash for a bit. "You all go into the kitchen, we can watch them from there."
"Right," Rainbow Dash said as she led all the other ponies to one of the doors to the left of where you were standing.
"Good luck, Jason," Lyra says to you one last time before she leaves. After a few moments, they were all behind the door, and you were alone with Spike.
"Thanks for doing this, really," Spike then says to you as you walk over and take a seat at the table. The table was kind of low, very low. So much so that you had to get on your knees to even sit at it. You're pretty sure this is a normal thing in Japan, but this isn't japan. Then again, these ponies are used to sitting like this, so you could be the odd one out here. Come to think of it, how many places had you been actually had chairs?
"No problem," you reply to the little dragon. "Just make sure that nothing happens to me, all right?"
"Don't worry," Spike says to you as he stops what he is doing and gives a little salute to you. "I took care of everything. You can count on me!" At that moment, you imagine the little guy screaming "FUS RO DAH!!!" at Twilight if she tries to do anything with you. Its kind of an awesome thought.
Then, Spike runs off to get the food he prepared for you and Twilight. You then take the box containing Pinkie Pie's special cupcake and slip it under the table so she won't see it. After a moment, Spike returns and serves you a plate of salad. There appear to be apples, pears, carrots, and other assortments of fruits and vegetables. You probably should have guessed it would be salad, since all these ponies are herbivores, but you're not complaining. He then places another plate of salad on the other end of the table and places a few more things on it, one of which was a bottle of vinaigrette.
"Okay, I'm gonna get Twilight now, so..." he hesitates for a moment.
"It's all right. Bring her down," you say to him before he can say anything else. He looks at you for a moment as if he is second guessing all this, but since he has your approval now.
"All right," he says, and with that, he hurries upstairs. You sit and wait patiently for him. Though nothing really happens for quite some time. After about five minutes or so, you finally hear something from upstairs. "Come on Twilight," you hear him say as you look up at the top of the stairs, at least where you can see, and finally see her. You see Twilight Sparkle, the insane purple unicorn. The one who caused you so much grief, and if you say so yourself, so much pain. Instinctively, your right hand goes to your knife just in case she tries to make a move for you. The more you look at her however, the more you notice, she looks slightly... okay slightly is too kind, very, different from how you've seen her before.
She's not wearing that strange, skintight black suit she was before, and her sword is gone (thankfully), leaving her just as naked as the other ponies. Also thankfully you notice that she is wearing that anti-magic horn thing. That's not what you notice though. She looks kind of thin, thinner than you've seen her before. If you had to guess, you would say that she hasn't eaten anything in a while. You also notice heavy bags under her eyes from an obvious lack of sleep. She keeps looking towards the ground, as she barely seems to lift her neck and her eyes. Also, she seems barely able to walk, in fact the only reason she is walking at all is because Spike seems to be pushing her, and in one instance, even lifting one of her legs for her.
"It's okay Twilight, let's go downstairs. The human is waiting for you," you hear Spike say to her in the most comforting way he can, but she seems to ignore it. This doesn't appear at all to be the same monster rapist that tried to make with you and produce a centaur for whatever reason, she appears well, for lack of a better term at the moment, almost dead. Like she's doesn't care anymore. Still, you don't let your hand off of your knife. Not now, she's tricked you before.
Eventually, Spike leads her down to the bottom of the stairs and sits her down on the table across from you. He actually has to manually sit her down, she won't even move herself to do that. You're kind of amazed at this. You also notice she keeps her gaze down at her plate, though you're sure she's not actually staring at her food. Now that you actually see her up close, she actually looks worse than she did at the top of the stairs. She is definitely thinner, and you can also see some red in her eyes as well as the obvious bags. Also her mane looks messed up, as if it hasn't been combed in a while.
Slowly, you let go of your knife and bring your hand back up onto the table.
"If you two need anything, let me know," Spike then says before he heads off to the kitchen. "Good luck man," he says to you quietly before he gets behind the door where the other ponies are waiting for him.
Its just you and Twilight Sparkle now. You're all alone... with her... the one who tried to rape you.
Several moments pass and you don't touch your food, neither does she. Though she doesn't appear to be moving at all. You think you see her blink once, but that's it. Since she's not doing anything, you decide to be the one to start this.
"Hi," you say to her as you pick up a fork and start on the salad. "How..." you're really not sure at all what to say to her. What do you say to someone who tried to do what she did to you? "How are you doing?" you ask as you take a bite of the salad. Okay, worst possible question for a person like this. On the plus side though, the salad is delicious. Really delicious.
Twilight doesn't even touch her food, and she still doesn't move. She still doesn't even look at you.
As you finish your first bite of salad, you realize that you have no idea what to say or even do right now. What do you even say to Twilight Sparkle now that you are alone with her? What do you say to her now that she is like this?
What do you do?
"HOW DARE YOU, RAZOR!!!"
Huh....
"HOW DARE YOU!!!"
Pinkie?
"HOW DARE YOU LOOP AROUND MASTERWEAVER'S COMMENT LIKE THAT! I SHOULD BEAT YOU UP FOR THIS!!!"
Okay, 1.) You know you can't actually beat me up right, and 2.) What are you talking about?
"You promised that you would use Masterweaver's comments no matter what they were since he won the contest!"
And I am. I'm using them. Hell, I used one in this chapter, and it helped Jason with being able to calm down enough to face Twilight. If anything, I'd say his comment helped contribute to this chapter more than some of the others.
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!! You looped around his comment in the last chapter and avoided using it!!!"
That wasn't a loop, it was-
ESTABLISHING CONNECTION....
CONNECTION ESTABLISHED_WARNING WEAK!!!
RELAYING FEED
A͢c͏tual̢ly tha̛t͜ ̨w̷aş ͜m̛y ̵fault. ̶
I̢'̸m sorr͏y͏,͡ ͟it̀s͟ ̴j͡ust̵ th́at҉ I do n̡o͜t t͞a̴ke ̴ki͞n͢dl̕y ̷to̵ ̢o̧t͠h͘er̛ peo̷p͢ĺe haćk͡in͘g th͜is ̸cha̴nnèl͘.̶ ͡
Oh,҉ a͢nd͝ ́d̕on͟'t͞ eith͡er òf̡ you ́t͡r͝y̨ tal҉k͘i͡ng͟ t̴ǫ ̨m̨e̡ ̡ri̧g͞ht ̸n̛o͠w,͢ c͢au͢se͟ ͞yo͜u̡ ̴w͟on'̨t b̶e ̴a̕b̛l̨e ̛t̴o͝.͏
W͟ęļl͟,̸ I ̕h҉a̡ve͝ ͜şo͞me i̵mpo̢r̕t͏ant ͠bu͜sín̛e͏s͠s͟ ̧I҉ ̶must̵ a͏t̡t̵en͝d͜ ţo̷ ̡r̢i̵ģḩt ͏now̕.͡
Go͢o͞d̢ ̴day si̛r̛ a̕nd̶ ͝ma̢d͘a̷m͏.
CONNECTION LOST-
Yeah... so... that.
"YOU ARE THE WRITER!!! YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE LET HIM DO THAT!!!"
Look, I'm sorry okay. I should not have doen that. I will still keep using Masterweaver's comments when he wants me to, and I will try to keep this from happening again. I'm sorry.
"That's better, Razor."
Thank you Pinkie.
"Oh not problem Razor Bazer. It's what I do. *giggle*"
So.... do you want to get some cake?
"WOULD I EVER!!!!"
Urge her to eat something, poor mare.
ok most important question
WHY DO YOU WANT A CENTAUR.
Give Twilight a hug.
Isn't japan a country, so it's Japan?
Call The Watchmen!
First, try to get her to eat, it might make her feel better at least.
Then, have her explain to you exactly why it is that she went all crazy and wanted a centaur, but word it nicely.
If she begins talking about Nyarlathotep, find out exactly what that is and how she knew of his coming.
Become worried about this force and try to ensure her that the princesses are gods and could probably handle this entity, though you doubt it yourself.
Get her to eat some food, then ask her to kindly explain why the buck she wants to rape you!
OK, she officially looks like shit man, try to get her to eat at least it's almost too painful to look at her. If she don't use either the cookie cannon so she's forced to eat it or perhaps give her the cupcake Pinkie gave you. Then when she gets to looking like she's gain at least 5 pounds get to making her talk with some of that wonder weed till she's somewhat normal. That is if she's got a stash if not Fluttershy is in the kitchen.
Channel your inner Sherlock Holmes and investigate the room and Twilight.Check for traps too.
No. You must continue with this story. We must push the chapters
OVER 9000!!!!!!!!
Or at least push a hundred.
Also:
Awkward moment alert! We need more small talk!
I'ma givin' 'er all we've got, cap'n, if I give her any more she'll blow!
Damnit that's an order! We need to do something!
Captain, is it not illogical to attempt to help one who has harmed us.
SHUT UP ALL OF YOU, NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO HEAR VOICES IN YOUR HEAD!
Even if the enterprise crew is in there, I need to help her. For some reason. I hate seeing people like this. And since when did I use the first person? No matter. I will change to second person again. Anyway, I need to say something.
"So, how about that weather?"
Fidget awkwardly then talk about SCIENCE!
Move her head around so she looks at you and stare intensely into her eyes, unblinking.
2616298
Mistershield! Fancy seeing you here. Come here often?
...
Did I just try to flirt with another guy/a shield?
No homo.
And I probably should have put my two comments together there. Ah well.
There is a ringing in the back of your mind and you suddenly feel something in there "ding". What was that? And why do you feel like you know what to do? Deciding to not waste your brain cells, you focused your attention to Twilight.
Hidden Passive: Due to the similarities of your two channeled fictional characters, Batman and The Doctor, you subconsciously gain a certain trait and an understanding of their morality depending on the situation. You can feel a piece of their souls after all. But ONLY a grain-of-sand piece that's still growing.
Interrogation: With the detective skill's of crime-fighter and the Godly knowledge of a Timelord, you can see what makes one tick and mention subjects to unlock more interactions.
Sinner's Empathy: Thanks to Batman's unstable mental condition and The Doctor's moments of anger and sorrow, they made many regrettable choices. So, you can pretty much understand Twilight's pain.
2616485
What just happened? I feel... So special... This warm, kind feeling.
No homo.
Attempt to get twilight to talk, at the very least eat, if all else fails for 30 minutes, contact spike to contact the princess, see if that gets a reaction
2616509
I think it's called pride...
Or maybe it's the
spikedale that Ipoisonedgave you. Are you still feeling alright? Should I get a computer or typewriter for you? Any sudden inspirations? Or did I give thestuffcup to the author of this story?Both?
Well... this is awkward. Meh, might as well just get this over with. Ask why the f*ck this happened, and ask for a way home. It's nice and all, but you can't stay HERE! You're a HUMAN, their medications won't work on you. Besides, what about Earth? Your home? Football? For the love of Pete, YOU NEED TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES! Just... get this over with as quickly as possible. By the way, I'm sending a sudden wave of killing intent into your brain, so at the first sign of trouble... there will be blood... mwahahahaha- gahacough! Ack! Really hurts the throat nowadays!
2616542
Ah, for a minute there I thought I thought it was time for a dance battle.
Now for the comment for this story:
Well, it worked for Applejack, it should work for Twilight.
It's hug time.
Hug! Hug like you never have hugged before!
If you're going to hug, hug to the heavens! Even if it's your own grave your digging, keep going! When you break through, it means you've won! Who in the hell do you think you are?! Your Hug is the hug that creates the heavens!
Believe! Believe in the hug the believe in us, ponies, humans, and the future!
GIIIIIGAAAAA HHHHUUUGGGG BREAKEEEERRRR!
2616576
Finish Him... err... I mean
Finish HER!
FAT- I mean HUGTALITY!!!!
Your idea is better than mine. But only slightly! I SAY MORE HUGS NOW!!!! HUGS FOR ALL!!!
Ok first off do a charisma level check. You are going to need a lot of it to get Twilight out of this slump.
Next proceed to talk to Twilight into eating something or at the very least begin talking a little. If that doesn't work after about the first ten minutes walk across over to her and cup her chin in your hands and stare into her eyes and proceed talking to her in this way. Gently mind you. And if this doesn't work tell her "I know you are a good being deep down Twilight, I really do. Just tell me why you... needed to have sex with me in the first place. We both need to move past this whole debacle. Some closure if you will."
P.S.
To Razor: Do whatever works best for you man. I'm easy.
To Pinkie: Do you want to know what is better than cake? A MUTHAFUCKIN COOKIE CAKE!
To Jackass Cock-Muncher the Third aka Risen Flag (if you ever read this that is):
This is my new greeting towards you every time you interrupt the story or hack Razor's channel. Good day.
So, twilight is all sad, she looks almost half-dead, and she hasn't even lifted her head to look at you. I think at this point, it'd be wise to switch out batman with sherlock holmes once more. Batman is essentially a fusion of solid snake and sherlock holmes, but this has one flaw: batman would take a rough, near anti-hero like approach to situations and that isn't what would be preferable right now, plus, sherlock holmes's analytical prowess and the ability to be compassionate when he needs to without using much of a brutish tactile force would be needed. (also, any words in parentheses is jason slightly mumbling/speaking in a hushed tone with this comment)
Try saying this to her: "Twilight...........we've been through much of a crazy adventure, you summoned me here for whatever reason, and chased after me and nearly scared me to death a few times. While I was liking my time back in my world, it was......lacking, in a sense. I put myself in a rut: study, work, play games, sleep; this cycle happened for so long I was contemplating moving just to get some activity in my life, but what you did to me (while it was a burden) was also......a boon to me. You brought me here, gave me the opportunity to go on adventures (even if some of it was mostly running away from you), I met applejack, bon-bon, lyra, cherilee, more of lyra's friends, rarity, fluttershy, rainbow dash, pinkie pie, Big Mac [insert Mcdonalds BigMac song here] and from forming bonds with them (even if it didn't feel as cemented as a lifelong friendship bond), I grew as a person, I grew from your interference, and despite whatever you think right now, it doesn't mean you should beat yourself up because you failed or because of whatever reason remains" Get up from your chair and slowly walk towards twilight, making sure your hand is in a prime position to pull out your knife if needed, though you doubt you'll need it. After reaching where twilight is, gently put your hand on her shoulder, and try to turn her head towards you, seeing that her eyes look like they were dried out from numerous tears "twilight, while you did cause all this, and while I did hate you at first, with everything I learned and everything I know now (mostly limited info), I can't find myself to blame you, want to hurt you, or even talk mean about you anymore, I only feel pain at seeing you like this, I feel sadness for you, I feel compassion for you, please twilight, if you seek forgiveness for your actions, then don't do it as you look now, but for me and your friends, don't feel sad anymore, it hurts us, it hurts your friends, and it hurts me the most. A person from my world once said “You can't undo anything you've already done, but you can face up to it. You can tell the truth. You can seek forgiveness. And then let God do the rest.”. Sometimes, all it takes to be on the road of forgiveness is one simple action from you or another, this is my action twilight" Bring both of your hands to gently cradle her head, making sure you don't knock her horn cover off, and put your forehead against hers [avoiding her horn of course], then whisper "twilight......I forgive you, its alright now, everything is alright, please, for all of your friends, your family, your mentors, comeback to us, please." Then in one final act, maneuver your body, and give her the most compassionate and friendly hug with any love you can put into it [non-sexual, friendship only love], and pray to whatever deity that exists in this realm that it will be enough to help her.
2616551
Drink more rum. That's how I did it.
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Just be careful. Last time I drank a barrel, I woke up oin a tank of sharks. With freakin' lasers attached to their freakin' heads....
She needs a Hug!
Also Razor, as long as you provide a link go ahead with a new story. Cookie-Cake!
2616895
2617047
Right, sorry. The sharks wanted a taste. May have given them too much...
Instead of Sherlock Holmes, Channel your inner Miss Marple. Intelligent, witty, observant, wonderful sense of humor, expert at raising a person's (or pony's) spirits while gaining every last bit of information out of them that she can. Sure, you'd be channeling a little old lady, but that's what Twilight needs right now.
Since all the other commenters are suggesting reasonable and sane things, I shall suggest you do the following at some point:
1. The macerena, since the Dinosaur is getting boring for now.
2. ENSURE THAT 1 IS DONE IN THE ACTUAL STORY CANON AND NOT A DREAM OR ALTERNATE UNIVERSE.
3. Build a fort of pillows and books with Twilight Sparkle as prophesied by your daydream
4. ENSURE THAT 3 IS DONE IN THE ACTUAL STORY CANON AND NOT A DREAM OR ALTERNATE UNIVERSE.
5. Suggest that waffles be loaded into the cookie cannon.
6. While Pinkie is loading waffles into the cookie cannon, steal the cookies and share them with Twilight.
7. ENSURE THAT 6 AND 7 ARE DONE IN THE ACTUAL STORY CANON AND NOT A DREAM OR ALTERNATE UNIVERSE.
Also, Narylohtep, I know a God that's bigger then you, I know where you live, and in at least one canon I have fused with Pinkie Pie and obtained all her abilities. Please don't incur my wrath.
Get Twilight to eat something, and figure out some TACTFUL way to find out her reasons for... ya know, everything. Find out why The Crawling Chaos is descending on Equestria, and let her know that you TENTATIVELY might forgive her, but that she is still on fairly thin ice. And be very, VERY careful not to push her over the edge. Not because she might snap and try to rape you again, but because her mind is still fragile, and she could very easily lose it... permanently. Personally, I suspect her insanity to be the work of the Crawling Chaos. Also, just adding more chapters to this story seems like a better idea to me. Splitting it up could get confusing.
Explain to Twilight that what she tried to do to you was wrong and that she really scared you for a while. However, you are willing to forgive her on two conditions: 1.) She must promise not to try and force herself on you again and 2.) she must explain why she did what she did.
... The Twilight who sits before you now is not the same monster that tried to rape you... And from the look of things, she's punished herself for more than you could have managed.
If you had to guess, guilt is ripping her apart from the inside, so... ... What she did wasn't okay, but... ... Try not to be accusational when speaking to her. It looks like it'll take a good amount of work to get her to open up enough to answer even the most basic questions... A good one to start with might be, why did you think that the fate of all Equestria hinged on me knocking you up to make a centaur?
Well, here you are. Sitting in front of the mare that tried to rape you... Where to start and what to say?
1.) look up, put on you're best smile, and start small talk. At least try to look like you forgive her. she seems like she's in a lot of pain right now...
2.) Get down to business, here's where you ask her the important questions. Why did she bring you here? what made her so worried and can she bring you back?
(if she says she can bring you back)
3.) look at your new friends in the kitchen. LOOK AT THEM. now think of your friends and family at home. THINK. Now tell me, do you really want to go home?
(if she says she can't bring you back)
3.) can... can you at least send a letter home? to tell everyone you know you're alright? I mean, they haven't heard form you since you got here... they might think you're dead...
Attempt to use the same magic trick that you preformed on AppleJack when you tried to cheer her up!
Scratch behind her ear and when she's in total bliss from your scratching pull out a.......... Wtf is that?
Response: "Look! I know we have a history. But to put it bluntly, you Look terrible. Please eat something.
We can talk this out. Now, you brought me here for a reason. Maybe I can help you without the need of mating?
By the way, would you also know how to send me home after my adventures here in this world are done?
Pat her on the head. Oh, and try to make her eat something. (Despite everything, you don't want her dying of starvation)
Try to make Twilight eat. if she doesn't eat take hold of her chin and force her to look in your eyes. then say. "Twiilight you have to eat, Your friends are worried." And after that you should smile.
Try to get Twilight to eat something.
If that fails, remind her her friends are worried.
If that fails, threaten to tell Princess Celestia what she did and how foalish (see what I did there?) she is acting.
this actually tends to work so please give it a go: sing to her very softly, simply sing about comfort and the beauty of the world and really uplifting stuff about things that she loves, kinda like a lullaby. it works whenever i do it and in the song, tell her to eat. so you dont have to do all the work i wrote something that can be edited to fit however you might play this or simply as inspiration
softly, softly the breeze comes through
softly, softly it wraps around you
my little purple pony, her mind full of words
and in the clear blue sky there are a million birds
warm little pony, curled up tight
warm little pony, troubles out of sight
full of thoughts and full of love
sad little pony needs a hug
*gives soft hug and holds for rest of song*
round tomato, nice and red
dont you worry you sweet head
*picks tomato of her plate and holds it near her face*
good little pony, much better now
good little pony, safe and sound
see the hope and caring friends
just know their friendship never ends
you can back away now. she should've eaten the tomato and her hunger catches up with her so you should ask her how shes feeling. keep your voice soft and caring because she is in a bad place right now and really needed that hug we gave her being sweet and gentle is the best way to coax her back to reality. i know that she did so bad stuff but its clear that she wasn't in her right mind and needs to be comforted before we can do anything about what she did
you should stick with this one because i like to go back and look at the things that have happened and im too lazy to go to a different story for that so one long story, please
Isn't it obvious? Hug time. With your knife close by.
I don't mind if this becomes another Austraeoh/Eljunbyro/Innavedr/etc. Especially if it's all fan-driven.
Up front, I'd offer her the knife, my forgiveness, and a hug as a first step, even if I hadn't fully forgiven her yet. That goes a long way to repairing a broken spirit.
And for all that is holy, let her cry as long as she needs.
Throw a book from earth at her
2616483 I thought you were the blood god.Where is the blood in that comment .That's why slaanesh is better
"If you wanted a centaur so badly, why didn't you look for a human that is actually attracted to ponies? It could have prevented this entire mess."
Oh, also you throw the pears out the window because you feel an intense hatred for them from deep within.
(First off I just wanna say, I think I know exactly how the cupcake can be used in a situation as this, but I'll keep my mouth shut if I'm wrong.)
Okay, you got yourself in this situation, and you will get out of it satisfied with the decisions made. First, start by telling her, "You aren't going to make this any easier... are you?... You know you're friends are worried about you, right? Spike told me to come over and have a talk with you, and so here I am now, at a table set for two complete with dilectable salads fit for a pony like you and a human like me... and yet we haven't taken a single bit out of it." Jason then proceeds to lift up his fork off the table and stab at his food, successfully piercing a few vegitables and fruits and such, and biting it off the fork. "Twilight? Wouldn't you like to have some? From the looks of you, it seems like you haven't eaten in days." Then, Twilight finally speaks in a somewhat low, a bit raspy voice, "W-Well, it does seem good, a-and it'd be a waste of food for me not to eat it." Then you have her in your grasp, metaphorically of course.
Secondly, you ask her after a few moments of eating, "Twilight, tell me, why did you bring me here in the first place? I mean besides the fact of creating a centaur. What was you're real intentions? And secondly, why me? Was the spell at random? Or did you have some sort of choice?" And these are pretty much all the necessary steps as far as I know.
Get her to eat and drink, prefarbley by talking to her, but be prepared to force feed if nessacary.
Ask her why she didn't just find a world with centaurs, like Narnia (Shame that does not exist anymore.), and get one from there.
Wonder how many other mythical creatures exist here.
Yay, finally made it here.
If Twilight doesn't say anything or touch her food, grab her head, turn it towards you, state into her eyes and feed her that salad. Chew it for her if you must.