Stare into her eyes, unblinking.
Impromptu staring contest, go!
BLINKING CONTEST WITH THE FILLY, GO!!!!
trust in force,you must.
PREFORM THE STARING CONTEST OF THE AGES!
Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead- They are fast. Faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink. Good luck.
Commence staring contest.
then say Uh... Its exactly what it looks like.
You just look back into the little pony's eyes. You don't look away, you can't look away. You don't even blink, and neither does she. You two are locked in a battle of wills, and BY GOD YOU THOUGHT BON BON WAS BAD, BUT THIS PONY.... THIS PONY IS TAKING IT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL!!! THIS.... THIS IS A BATTLE FOR THE AGES!!!!
ALL THE GREAT BATTLES OF HISTORY!!! ALL THE GREAT BATTLES YOU'VE KNOWN! YOUR BATTLE AGAINST TWILIGHT!!!
ALL OF THEM ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO THIS!!!!
(Meanwhile, inside both your minds.)
Trust in the force is what you must do. You don't even blink. You can't blink. You blink, and you're dead. If you even blink once....
...
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...
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CRAP YOU BLINKED!!!!
Oh, hey, wait... You're still here, and you're still staring at the little yellow pony...
...
...
Yeah, now you just feel kind of silly. The little yellow filly (you think that's the term for a young female pony. You're not sure. You also make a note to try and find out how you're suddenly getting all of this vocabulary from
"Oh, I helped you with that one," says a high pitched, Pinkie Pie-like voice from somewhere around you. You just ignore it though and make a note to figure it out later) is still staring at you. Her pupils are now about as small as they can get. It almost looks like she has no eyes. She really does seem familiar though. You wonder why you can't place it.
"If you keep shrinking your pupils, you'll go blind."
Jason looks at her back and commenses yet another EPIC STARE DOW- no, not now. Instead, Jason frees one arm from the hug and says, " You want a hug too?" then Applejack breaks the hug and turns around to see Applebloom in a shocked state from seeing this. Applejack blushes a bit, but shakes it off and says, "Heh, hey Applebloom... Applebloom?"
Applejack then proceeds to shake Applebloom out of her shocked state and works.
"Applejack!" Applebloom yells, still staring at Jason. Jason, still staring at the young foal, narrows his eyes more and more, almost as if he were trying to stare into Appleblooms soul... but isn't. That's all I got.
"Hey, um..." you begin to say to it. You want to say something to the little filly to break the mood, but you're not quite sure what. "If you keep shrinking your pupils like that, you'll go blind." Great, that's the best you could come up with.
The moment those words leave your mouth, Applejack breaks the hug and turns around to see the yellow filly. You notice her blush a bit from seeing her, but she quickly shakes it off and walks over to her.
Let Applejack do the talking for her. Ask Applejack who the filly is, and hopefully she'll introduce you as well. She doesn't seem comfortable near you.
"Oh uh... Hey Applebloom, wha'cha need?" Applejack asks the little filly, still slightly embarrassed. The little filly doesn't answer. "Applebloom?" Applejack says again. Still no answer. Applejack then walks in a circle around her, still no response. "Applebloo-"
"That's the thing that jumped out of our treehouse!!!" The little yellow filly suddenly shouts as she turns to look at Applejack and points a hoof at you.
You think that she looks familiar.
She is one of the apple family --> apple=tree --> tree=house... Apple+tree+house= Treehouse in apple farm. She was one of the three little ponies that you met when you hid in their club house. Suddenly you hear small ding sound. You turn to look right and see again that same small pinkie. just before she vanishes again you notice that she had bell in her hooves.(I'm trully sorry for all of these pinkie jokes.)
(Aww don't be. i'm having fun being in this fic.)
(P-pinkie! What are you doing in here. you know you can't come here, the protagonist might hear us.)
(Don't worry Tenebris. Razor would never do something like that.)
(Creator damn you pinkie! What ever, i'm going to sleep. bye pinkie. how in hell did she even get here? I'm getting a hedache again.)
(Bye bye Tenebris. La la la la la la la la la)"Oh, and hi commenters. Just letting you know I can talk in the comments now too. So I'll be seeing you again. We have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much to talk about. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la."
Suddenly, it all hits you at once. You have seen this little filly before. She was one of the three fillies at that treehouse you hid in the last time you were here... Well, the last time you ran from here. As you realize this, out of nowhere you suddenly hear a "ding" sound, like a bell. You look to your right to see the small floating Pinkie Pie again with a bell in her hooves. Right as you look at her though, as quickly as she had appeared, she's gone again.
Yeah, that was weird. You turn your attention back to the little filly. You didn't get a very good look at them after you jumped out the window, but you're sure enough that she was there. You remember one of them wearing a large bow. You don't remember the other two though.
Also you make a note to return her crayons when you get the chance. You would return them now, but you don't have them on you. You didn't expect to run into this little filly again. Now that you're thinking about it, you don't even know why you took them in the first place.
"That monkey thing!" The little yellow filly yelled at Applejack again. At that, Applejack just laughed to herself and rubbed the back of her head. She then turned her attention over to you again. She still looks slightly embarrassed, though for a different reason. You're just confused.
Sensing the mood, Applejack then puts a hoof around the little filly's shoulder as if to comfort her.
"Sorry," Applejack says to you. "This here's mah liquorice headed little sister Applebloom." she says as she shakes the little yellow filly for seemingly no reason. She then stops and turns her attention to her. "Applebloom, this is Jason, and he aint a monkey, he's a human."
Say Hi
Response: "Oh Hi there!" *laughs nervously*
"Hi," you say to Applebloom as you laugh nervously. You're not really quite sure what to do in this situation. Applebloom is looking up right at you. You didn't notice it before since you were on your knees hugging Applejack, but you are friggin tall compared to this pony. Most of the other adult ponies like Applejack reach more or less chest height for you, but Applebloom, she just barely reaches past your knee. Well, more like a little past your knee but still, you're friggin tall to her.
She doesn't look shocked anymore, as he eyes are normal sized again, but she does look a little intimidated by you. Not that you can blame her though. Still, you don't entirely know what to do in this situation.
Offer the cookie.
Yes, I agree. Offer this yellow filly the cookie.
This. duh.
Then suddenly, you remember the cookie you pulled from behind Applejack's ear (how you did that you're still not sure). You hold it up and look at it for a moment. You look at the cookie, then back to Applebloom, then back at the cookie, then back to Applebloom. Then suddenly to the right of your vision you notice the floating Pinkie Pie nodding so far that her head seems as if it's threatening to come off. You look away from her and back at Applebloom, who is still staring up at you.
As you look at her, you just smile and bend down so that you're eye level with her, though even then she's still smaller than you by a bit. You then extend your arm out to offer her the cookie. She nudges back a bit, which isn't that unexpected really. She looks at the cookie for a moment, then past the cookie and right at you, then back at the cookie, then back to you, then back at the cookie, then back to-
"Go on," Appejack suddenly says to her. Applebloom just looks up at her. Applejack just offers her a warm smile in response. "He aint gonna hurt yah." Applebloom just looks up at her sister for a moment, then back to you, then back to the cookie. You just keep smiling at her, assuring her that you're not gonna hurt her. Not that you would anyway, you know that if you do, you'll have to deal with Applejack and Big Macintosh after all. You've seen them buck all the apples out of trees, you really don't want them to do that to you.
After a few moments of staring, Applebloom leans her head forward, and with some hesitation, bites down on the cookie and takes it from your hands. You then watch her eat it all in one go. Kind of strange considering she only held it with her mouth, but still. Once she finishes the cookie, she lets out a sigh and looks at you, noticeably less intimidated than before.
"Thank yah mister," Applebloom says as politely as she can.
"No problem," you respond as you stand back up, once again towering over her. You look down at her and keep smiling. She's still smiling back up at you.
You then look up and back at the trees from earlier. You don't see anything there. No other ponies at all, and all the shadows appear to be exactly as they should be. It's weird, you even blink again to see if anything will happen, but nothing does. No ponies in suits appear either. You can swear you saw something though.
"So, Applebloom," Applejack asks. Her talking takes your attention away from the trees. "What was it yah needed?"
"Oh right!" Applebloom exclaims as she turns around to face her sister. "Do we have anymore rope? We're all gonna try fer animal capturin cutie marks today and-"
"A cutie what now?" The moment those words leave your mouth, Applebloom spins around again and looks at you again. The look she's giving you is one that suggests that you just asked what the hell the sky was.
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A CUTIE MARK IS!?" She asks as loud as she can. Apparently she's not longer intimidated by you if she can yell at you.
"Can't say that I do," you respond.
From there, you spent the next fifteen minutes listening to Applebloom give you a complete and thorough (or at least thorough in her mind) explanation of what a cutie mark is. Apparently its those marks that these ponies have on their rumps, and it's supposed to represent their "special talent" as she referred to it. Apparently, these cutie marks just appear one day when a pony finds out what their special talent is, and since Applebloom doesn't have one, then she's still trying to discover what hers is.
With this new information you try to think for a moment about all the different cutie marks you've seen. Lyra's cutie mark seemed to be a lyre (you're getting support from the Greek Gods you better know what a lyre is), Bon Bon's seemed to be candy, and Applejack here had apples on her rump, as did Big Macintosh, hence their names you guess. You're about to suggest that maybe Applebloom's cutie mark might have something to do with apples, but before you can say anything she suddenly takes off. Something about "cutie mark crusaders," whatever that is.
From there, you spend the rest of the day doing more work for Applejack. All the while, you never see the suited pony again. You're not sure why, but he's really bothering you. It's a weird feeling you can't describe, you're getting a bad feeling about this.
Still, you brush it off and continue working, as you feel a rather strong reluctance to bother Applejack about it. After a couple more hours, she sends you home. You say you can do more work for her, but she insists on the pretense that you have a party to get too later, which you can't really argue with. You do however, say that you will come back and help her again tomorrow, which she accepts after you keep insisting on it. As you leave though, she and Big Macintosh offer you a freshly backed apple pie, which you gratefully accept (only an idiot wouldn't take it. Seriously, THESE PIES ARE DELICIOUS!!!). They pack it in a white box for you and send you on your way. You wave to them as you leave, and they wave back. They actually seem like really nice company when a life threatening situation isn't on the line. Especially one that puts them at odds with you.
As you walk back through Ponyville, you get quite a few stares from the other ponies, which you aren't really surprised at by this point, considering that you are essentially an alien in this world. You don't mind it though, none of them are trying anything with you. Surprisingly, you're able to make it back to Lyra and Bon Bon's house on your own. You remembered the way and after only one wrong turn, you made it. This town is surprisingly easy to navigate when you aren't running for your life.
You open the door and walk inside, remembering that Lyra and Bon Bon don't lock their door. You think it's kind of weird, but then again, they've told you that nopony locks their door in this town, so you suppose that's just how it is here.
As you walk inside (remembering to wipe your feet before you enter since you've been working on a farm all day), you see Lyra putting down the saddle bags she was wearing before on the couch before she jumped on it herself.
"Oh, hey Jason," Lyra says as she sees you come in.
"Hey Lyra," you respond as you kick off your shoes and set them aside. "Is Bon Bon back yet?"
"Nah," Lyra replies. "She usually doesn't get back till 6:30 or so." You look and notice a clock on the wall. Apparently its 5:00 pm. So you've been working from 9 to 5. Seems like a normal day. "What's in the box?" she then asks you.
"Oh, this," you say as you walk on over to her and set it on the coffee table (which they somehow managed to replace this quickly) before you sit on the couch next to her. "It's an apple pie. Applejack said I could have it since I've been working with her all day." At that, you notice Lyra's eyes light up.
"Sweet!!!" she sings as she looks at it. Suddenly, a thought pops in your head.
"Hey Lyra," you say to her.
"Yeah," she replies as she looks away from the pie and right at you.
"Where did you go after you left me at the farm? I'm just curious."
"Ohhhhh," Lyra says as she leans back into the couch. "I went to see one of my friends so I could get this." The moment she stops talking, she opens up one of her saddle bags with her magic and pulls out a large bag. She then floats it up in front of you and gives you a wicked smirk. You know what's in the bag, it's clear as day. You feel a smile begin to form across your face the longer you look at it.
What do you do?
HIGH TIDE, BABY! HIGH TIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEE
Or maybe just high, but who cares? It's about time you got some of the good stuff.
You obviously smoke the stuff. After awhile you think it was laced with something else that's a lot stronger because the Floating Mind Pinkie begins multiplying rapidly and they all start singing and recreating the Pink Elephants scene from Dumbo which freaks you right the hell out. Eat the apple pie as messily as possible in the hopes that it will make them go away.
TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!
Holy shit thats a big bag of weed. You ask her if it is for the party. Oh thats right gota get rdy for the party. Get showered and dressed in your swag suit. Cause tonight is gonna be a good good night. Dont forget to teach the ponies the magic that is doing the dinasaur.
You want to smoke the weed, but you remember that there's a party in your honor later and something tells you(maybe Mini-Pie or even the Greek Gods) your going to need your complete focus in order to get through it. And if not, then showing up high would at least be rude.
In the spirit of the moment, temporarily switch out your inner Batman with your inner deadpool. with the copious amounts of weed you now have and are no doubt planning to smoke, the deadpool personality should make EVERYTHING more trippy than before.
*after something amounts of hours*
duuude......everything smells like blue, with up on lefh......hahahaha, duuude, that weed gave me a contact high. wha-.....is that a golden statue of a kneeling being, duude, its so tiny, you so wanna throw i-HOLY JESUS IT TALKED!!! back away man, back away. You brandish an invisible poker while screaming something about halo and tacos
.......as sort of an off-topic note, im kinda running out of ideas, but I hope slenderman doesn't get jason....oh well. if you choose to put this in your next chapter, mind blanking out this bit here razor?
Put the drugs in the pie. Then give a slice to a retarded child.
Suggest to Lyra that you shoul save that for after the "Welcome to Equestria" party. Get ready fr the party. At the party, walk the dinosaur.
You start to wonder if smoking weed is what's causing those weird, mysterious, and logic-less imagery and sounds during your time in Equestria. Meh. Those strange things have actually been fun to have around anyways, and you find it eerily comforting. Other than that pony in a suit.
Get high, Jason
BourneStathamVoorheesMorgan!She obviously got it from flutter shy and she could have done just about anything with it so pass and go to your party
Huh. A large bag of prophylactics. This couldn't possibly go wrong.
Response: "Let's go!"
Action: Get High with Lyra.
Pinkie: "Don't get too high since you do have a party to get to!
Unless you want to bring it with you! THEN IT WOULD BE AN EVEN BETTER PARTY!!"
you know what you do?
you
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Get high and drunk as fuck, then go to the party to show those damn ponies how humans party
"Where the fuck did you get a bag of magic mushrooms, Lyra?!"
"Fluttershy" Fucking respect, Yellowshy!
"Then its time to party!"
Dose up, because you're wanting to hit your highest point when you arrive at the party.
*A trippy-fuckin'-time later*
Wake up in the middle of Canterlot statue garden, wearing nothing but a bowler hat and a pair of pink underwear. (Who'd have thunk ponies have underwear?!) Stand up to see a wierd ass statue that reminds you that you're tripping Moon-sized balls.
"Fuck your hair, you upright hypercube nazi dickinverter!" You yell, because talking normally is for people who are straight edges.
Statue promptly explodes into shards with a huge chuckle, what comes out reminds you of what you'd get if you DNA tested the cheapest sausage in the supermarket.
"HELLO EVERYPONY!" It screams.
"I ONCE PUNCHED THE KING OF SPAIN FOR EATING MY SPRING ROLL!" You reply. It's only response is to look at you with a very confused expression on it's wierd face.
Umm.. Dont get high.
WHY? .
1- Bonbon. She'll want in on that shit too, and she's not back for a while You smoke that now, and you'll leave her out.
2- Don't try going to a party as high as a kite. You don't know if its even legal here, and if, according to pinkie, everyone/pony will be there, chances are you'll run into the letter of the law.
If you do this, refer to my next comment on what to do instead.
I hope you ready because it's time TO GET BLAZED!!!
If you've followed my previous suggestion, do this;
You'll be in pasive mode, so character switch. Who? Swap out the batman for minecraft's Steve.
Whyy? Here's why.
1- Constant passive mode. From sleeping to killing mobs? Steve dont give a shit. His facial expression never changes, even when inches from death. Because of this, you can CONSTANTLY channel him.
2- Carrying capacity. Excluding armour, Steve can carry 36x64 blocks, where 2=The size of you. You do the math.
3- Steve can punch rock and physically smack a furnace into exsistance. That will help.
4- Inches from death? Eat a potato and walk it off. Better yet, eat an apple that you've merged metal into it, and BOOM! Healing abilaties. Even if you can't heal, Steve still walks around like he doesnt give a shit.
MAKE BROWNIES
There's a mysterious piece of paper tacked to the wall saying "DON'T LOOK OR HE TAKES YOU". After you take it down, there's an eerie period of silence, followed by constant drumbeats.
He's been waiting for you. Staying hidden most of the day and leading you into a false sense of security. You're afraid of what you'll see if you look out the window, but now that you're thinking about it, it won't stop bugging you. Reluctantly you take a quick glance.
Say in your most laid back voice...
"I'll see you in the fifth dimention, duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude...."
...
It looks like its brownie time.
Well... that happened.
Weed. Glorious weed. Finally you can have good smoke. You take pipe out of your pocket and fill it. After lighting the pipe you take long inhale from it. The relaxing feeling spreads through your body. Suddenly you hear small popping sound near you. You look left and see that small pinkie again. Pinkie smiles widely to you and you smile back. (Wait, wait, wait. Pinkie! What are you doing in there?) "Oh Tenebris you're here."
You look the pinkie as she is talking to something that you can't see or hear. (Look what you did. now that you're there he can hear you. At least he can't hear me.) "Oh, He can't?" Who is she talking to. This Equestrian weed is really powerful, even your hallucinations have hallucinations. (Yes, he can't hear me.) "But, why?" Who is she talking to? It's annoying when you can hear only one side of the discusion. (Because i'm talking inside these bubbles and you're not. Now it's time to end this.)
You watch as pinkie listens who ever she is talking to. Suddenly behind her opens swirling portal and hand made of shadows appears from it. It graps pinkie and pulls her in. You can hear her squee from happiness as she is pulled in. The portal closes and you are alone again. "Well that was weird" You say aloud and take another inhale from the pipe.
Find out what is legal here.
2417349dis
As tempting as it is to get right down to business, the party's going to be soon and you want to make a good first impression.
Besides, we don't even know what is in the bag, so let's trim the "comment fat" and see what's inside.
You should also start cleaning up. Have you grown a beard since your time here? I wonder if they have razors.
obviously you gonna get high as hell considering what you've been through you really deserve it then when you're high enough you stand up and start moon walking on the ceiling (how you're doing that you have no idea must have something to do with the little pinkie you keep seeing and hearing) you just brush it off and get on the floor then start doing the dinosaur till bon bon gets home.
Eat the pie as fast as you can without hands.
Whatever you do, don't think about/try to learn more about Slenderman pony. If it's anything like the Earth version, knowing more just makes it notice you more. Also, your inner The Doctor hopes you get a reason to do the Atraxi Speech sometime.
2411240 ik
You pull a monocle out of nowhere (the little Pinkie Pie you saw earlier chuckles) and speak in the most Sean Connery James Bond accent you can muster...
"My good lady, I do believe you possess the key to our communal happiness. Let us smoke until we no longer require oxygen to breathe!"
Be high and eat apple pie!