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This story is driven entirely by user comments. So whatever you say, it will happen.
Continued in Part 2: Raise the Flag

You wake up to find that for whatever reason you are now in Equestria and Twilight is looking down on you with a look on her face that you can only describe as "lascivious." What do you do?

Edited by Kiro0613

Updates Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays

Authors note:
I will be checking up on this story every few days or so to see what you all are saying. Whatever comments you make, regardless of how silly, stupid, or insane it is. I will make it happen. :D

Sister stories
Wake up. See this. What do? Rainbow Dash Edition by me and Hankyhannah (Cancelled)
Everfree Survival by Hrafn
Wake Up With A Hangover. Have Morning Wood. See This. What The Hell Do You Do? by RainbowBob

Chapters (76)
Comments ( 2974 )

I grab the book and start reading, totally ignoring her.

What do you do?

Poke her belly.

Well, that's all the incentive I need.
You suddenly see out of the corner of your vision Jesus Christ, yeah, the one and only, playing a game of checkers with Discord. The Chaos God was in deep thought over his next move, while Jesus was simply texting holy messages of awesome on his iPhone and playing the latest Angry Birds game.

Also, Twilight inexplicably got a wing boner, and wings for that manner. Jesus simply rolls his eyes while Discord flips the checkerboard in anger for not coming up with a good move.

I agree. Might learn some magic.

You try to escape but she magically summons up tree roots to hold you down where you are laying. In a futile attempt to rise up, the branches start to pull you into the ground as Twilight opens up the book and begins to read aloud. As it turns out, the book she is reading from is none other than the Necronomicon Ex Mortis. While you find the earth closing in around you, she is deep in the process of opening up the gates to the Howling Abyss and letting in all of the unholy relatives and kin of Great Cthulhu.

And then Lyra shows up. She becomes interested in you, and now her and Twi are fighting over you.
Meanwhile, Bon Bon is determined to destroy you for stealing Lyra's affection.

ask if there are communist ponies:pinkiehappy:
and what the hell is going on?:twilightblush:
В России, конечно.:moustache:

NOOOOOPE , just chuck testa and stand beside her while she is still pinning down the taxadermied version of you, apon which you turn into batman and start beating Luna in an epic rap battle of history about how she isn't the night but you are because your batman!!! and then you magically get the horse from the old spice commercial and go "I'm on a horse", all the while as Herobrine is bitch slapping Discord.

You look to you left and see celestia, glance to your right and see Luna, twilight then opens her mouth "dance" she says. You know now that you must utilize your amazing dance moons to distract them long enough for you to escape.

Grab her horn.

There is no escaping My fate.
Twilight has me captive.
Those eyes locked on mine,
I am under her spell(metaphorically)
caress cheek
Entwine fingers in mane.
Go in for the kill.
A kiss, that is.

well, that escalated quickly

you sloowly, veeery slowly reach a hand towards her head and begin scratching behind her ears. You see her eyes close half way and her mouth hanging open as she lets out a relaxed breath. You continue this and While she is distracted by the pleasure you're giving her, you slide your other hand in your pocket to reach for your trusty multipurpose pocket knife. with your multipurpose pocket knife in your grip, you swiftly pull your hand from her ear and place the arm under her head lifting it a bit, exposing her neck, then you bring your other hand thats holding the knife to her throat and press the blade against the exposed flesh all in one fluid motion. At first she panics and tries to squirm from your hold, but you press the blade a little bit deeper to remind her of her current situation. Once she has calmed, you ask where your gas powered internet enabled blow dryer and your nuclear-powered SMS messaging bowling ball was.

yea, i dont know what the hell I'm doing

Punch her to check if your dreaming.Also make sure your wearing pants.

How the heck was this accepted with less than 1000 words?
(Edit: Nevermind.)
Meh, whatever. I'll play along.
"What do you do?"
Answer: Assume the party escort position.
Alternatively, use Shin Shin Shoryuken.

Step One: Tuck legs up against chest.
Step Two: Wrap arms tightly around legs.
Step Three: Roll away.
Step Final: Hope you're fast enough to escape.

Simultaneously attempt to distract her and gather information on how you got into this insane predicament by baiting her into a conversation about intoxicants and hallucinogens. After all, despite the look on her face, she's also "carrying" a book. Sexually repressed nerd type perhaps? Let's find out (and hope that our investigation sheds some light on this situation which is already threatening a stroke, psychotic breakdown, or unpleasant combination of the two).

About to panic when suddenly Erhan Smith slapped Sparky in the face "GTFO Sparky, you're making me late for my game of bingo with Nurgle and Vaas!" and he used his awesomness to teleport in another dimention. Wondering WTF just happened to tried to get up, but you get tackled by the Shamwow guy, who then said "BRO!! Do you even OLD SPICE?!" he then proceeded to pull an iPhone out of his butt and rubbing it in my face. There was aloud bang before Shamwow guy's head blew up into a fountain of Pipbiys. In a bush 2 meters away, Capatin Price complemented on his sniping skeelz. But not long after, a BLU Spy backstab him and yelled "I'm drunk, YEW DUNT HAVE AN EXCEWSE." who then proceeded to take a swig of Nikolai's vodka. Price's Teen Titans communicator rang as Simone who is currently piloting MEGAS is losing a Pokebattle to Handsome Jack and his level 1337 Butt Stallion. Simone had no other choice, so he activated the MEGAS's spiral drive. IT FEHLED DA EMPRAH, so it burst into warpfalmes. The recent disurbance of the Force caused the TARDIS to crash in front of you. Hoping the Doctor will take you home from this world of WTFness, you hopes turned into mush as Doc Brown stuck his head out. Brown proclaimed "FER TEH EMPRAH" before activating his trap card and summoning Boreale. They died suddenly because of Boreale's deep strikes had landed on the wrong place. Kane jumped out of nowhere, stroking a shard of Blue Tiberium, whispering "My precious...

And then I woke up and decided to stop doing drugs.

I'd just wait and see what she does.

That's it. :P

Ok i got an idea

Kick twilight off
Moon walk backwards
Grab crouch
Throw fedora
Fedora decapitates twilight
Fedora flies back
Catch that shit like a fuckin boss
Triple backflip followed by a barrel roll while on fire
Hit dead twilight with a dildo bat
Hide in cardboard box

Wats-his-face, the black dude who loves blocking other peoples shots, pops up,smacks her in the face and says: "Not in my house" with a smile and a laugh.:rainbowlaugh:

What to do?

Kiss her. Rape her. :twilightblush:

So glad I found this. It looks amazing. Also, I love any story where I am a total bawller bauss.

Let's see...funny, but not obscenely random...

"Can I help you?" you ask, hoping for a response.

pray that it doesn't go where i think its (it's) going

Do gaming references. Go for chair mode it always works.

Ask her how do ponies hold things with their hooves. It drove her crazy in Griffin the Griffin, so it might do so here. :trollestia:

Flick her horn and run away!

Talk to her like a sensible person.

I would suggest asking where you are, and why are you looking at me like that

Hit her with a cinnamon roll. While she is incapacitated make a hasty retreat. Turns out that the main character was accualy Pinkie all along.

As Ed would say from Ed, Edd, n' Eddy;


Run away.

Insert fingers into mouth and improvise a rape whistle.

As 4chan says...


Smile politely, then look behind her all shocked and yell "Look! A Three-Headed Monkey!"
Shove her off while she's distracted and get the hell out of there... Only to get tackled by a three-headed monkey.

you call this a good 4chan story?
stupid nigger, get on my level.
my story that started on 4chan has 7000 views

your face shows how nervous you are.

"if you plan to do anything sexual, at least be gentle!" you squeeze your eyes shut, awaiting the bittersweet embrace.

Yell "I need an adult" over and over again.

Get up and do the carlton dance from Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air

begin to brutally assault with spaghetti

Notch appears and spawns in 9001 book shelves distracting twilight, apon which you find leather pants and make a speech about "Twilight sparkle is too damn high" and make a politically party.Right before she grabs you you yell "Ain't nobody got time to dat".

Yell, "Objection!" Then, produce the most convoluted and complex evidence to prove that you're not interested in doing what she thinks you're interested in doing.

throw the book away and yell at the top of your lungs "BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!" suddenly the heavens open to reveal Glory from 'Fallout Equestria Project Horizons' yelling an insane battle cry

She's flying in for the kill.Flying at speeds that would make rainbow dash moist in her nether regions(which indeed does happen as she has been watching the whole time.She begins to dryhump furiously on Mic The Mike who is at the moment screaming "FUCK YOUR COUCH NIGGAAAAS!" while playing fallout new vegas outside in the open while this is happening).She then misses completely and explodes in a fiery explosion causing a crater of awsomeness to form(which is what to this day what the ponies of equestria still call it....it has been deemed by princess celestia herself to be a landmark to behold for tourist to see.Causing ponyville to be a major hotspot for tourist. Therefore earning money for the Mayor Mare's secret addiction to clopping to Obama/Jesus Christ shipping) .......but shes not done yet... she crawls out being reborn as jinchuuriki naruto who is in his 4 tails form who then proceeds to furiously clop on the spot. He finishes in ten seconds flat smothering both you and twilight in spaghetti............

Make like Grumpy Cat and "No."

Poke her horn.

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