Ponelicious Ponyville
Contemplate how so many ponies have been able to easily capture you despite all of your bad-ass skills and vow to do better in the future. Seriously, this is your third time getting captured by ponies; you should be embarrassed.
You groan and slap your palm to your forehead. "Again? why is it I am always me who get into these situations?!"
you look around and murmur "Hello?"
Before you start doing the standard "omg im tied to something and im totally freaking out now" flailing in binds thing, consider why twilight and rarity were chasing you (and I guess that rainbow maned Pegasus too). Did you, at ANYPOINT before coming here, put on.......axe body spray or use any axe product? That product did have its fake warnings about "women may go gaga over you with that manly scent" if you use axe products, and if so, maybe something in that product is making these ponies go into "raep train" mode
........or maybe you have as much an idea as sam fisher being behind you and acting all sam fisher sneaky like
"Again..." you groan as you try to slap yourself on the head, but fail to as your hands are tied. "Why is it that I am always getting into these situations?" As you say that, you contemplate all the events that happened prior to this, and more specifically how easily you've managed to walk into several of these pony's traps despite your badass skills. You make a note to do better in the future.
It also occurs to you that if at some point before you came here you used Axe body spray. Sure, you know their commercials are bullshit, but you can't help contemplate it. You think of everything you did prior to going to sleep last night, and the answer to whether or not you used any Axe body spray comes out as a resounding no. You haven't used Axe products since you switched the Old Spice months ago.
Hug the Grue before it can EAT YOU!!!!!!
You're quite sure that there aren't any grues in here. There weren't any in Applejack's basement so there wouldn't be any here either. Logically speaking. Plus, the fact that you haven't been eaten yet is proof enough of that.
LIGHT A TORCH!
If this fails.... go north.
You could do that... IF YOU WEREN'T TIED TO THIS TABLE!!! You're assuming its a table anyway, it feels like one. But yeah you aren't going anywhere. Also you have no materials with which to "light a torch," good idea while it lasted though.
*throws Razor into his own story*
Failing that, try moving.
You're not entirely sure what you mean by "throw Razor into his own story," as you're quite certain you've never met anyone named Razor in your life and never will. Even if you could do that, how would he help you?
Oh, and you already tried moving while you were pondering whether or not you used Axe body spray. It didn't work.
Pray to the greek gods!
Okay.
You pray to the Greek gods for your release from this dark room. You don't get any response back from them. Figures as much. Plus, you've known ever since you read The Iliad and the Oddessy that Zeus is kind of an asshole anyway, so he probably won't be helping you. Athena might though, though she likely has better things to do.
Milk yourself.
Spray gallons of breast milk from your succulent teats, drowning everyone.
...
...
...
...
Yeah you're not entirely sure how you could do this. You are a MAN (you really have no idea how that wasn't obvious before, what with all the mares trying to have their way with you like there's no tomorrow) and you're quite certain you won't be doing any of that. Besides, how would that be helpful?
You need to start thinking of some better ideas.
Find the light switch.
Okay, that IS a better idea. You are however, still tied to the table. Yep, nothing's changed. So even if you wanted to find the lightswitch, you really can't. You contemplate whether or not you can do anything from where you are right now. Besides attempting to move of course.
"Ah, the darkness, your old friend! Strike up a friendly conversation with the darkness. Perhaps it will have something interesting to say?"
Talk to the darkness and hope that it helps you, but it doesn't because sadly you're not a host.
You sigh as you cannot come up with any better ideas at the moment other than talk to the darkness.
"Well darkness," you say to it. "I don't suppose you have any idea how I can get out of here, do you?" The darkness doesn't respond. "No? Well then you got anything interesting things to say least?" The darkness still doesn't respond. The absence of light doesn't have any vocal cords so it is incapable of speech.
Out of nowhere though, since you spoke, you suddenly hear a stirring in the room. Someone else is definitely in here with you. Suddenly, you start to hear a soft tune begin to play as the sound of what starts like a record fills the room. There are a few scratches at first, but then suddenly a steady a slow, soft, yet steady beat begins to come in.
*This tune in your ears*
"What the devil is that noise?"
"What the devil is that noise?" you silently ask yourself as the beat hits your ears. It almost sounds kind of catchy.
Well, of course I do the links! Anyherp,
FUCK DARKNESS! You decide that pulling a God would be the best route.
"Let there be light," you say.
Clap your hands and wait for a source of light to come in
.
.
It worked!!! *feel like a god*
'Fuck this!' you say to yourself in your head. You've really had about enough of this darkness.
"Let there be light!" You scream as you clap your hands. Unfortunately since your hands and feet are bound, the only thing you can do that is remotely close to a clap is pelvic thrust up and slam your butt against the table.
Miraculously though, it works. The lights come on and fill up the entire room. For the moment you feel like God, or at least you do for about ten milliseconds.
Scream like a little girl.
The sight that you're met with when the lights suddenly come on makes you scream like a little girl. You really need to stop doing that.
Right in front of you, less than an inch away from your face (you just now realize that the table you're tied to is tilted upwards so that you're facing forward) is the face of a pink pony with an impossibly poofy pink mane. Her eyes are light blue and the smile on her face is about as wide as a smile on a pony face can possibly get.
You notice that she's wearing some kind of black cloak with a large, silver collar that covers her entire body from the neck down. You cannot possibly fathom why.
The exact instant the lights come on, the music that was playing becomes comes in in full force as the real tune to the song starts playing.
(Play this right now, seriously just do it.)
"How d'you do, I,
See you've met my,
Faithful fillyfriends,"
The pink pony starts to sing to you in the most bubblegummy voice you can possibly imagine.
"They're just a little brought down,
Because when you knocked,
They thought you were the candymare."
Suddenly, she turns around and starts to strut away from you. You notice in particular the way she sways her hips (you guess its flanks for them) as she walks away from you towards the other side of the room.
"Don't get strung up by the way I look.
Don't judge a book by its cover.
I'm not much of a mare by the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a lover."
What happens next you can swear makes your eyes pop right out of your skull. The moment the pink pony reaches the other side of the room, she turns around and throws off the cloak. With it gone, you can see that the pink pony is wearing some kind of sexy black lingerie, complete with leggings. At the very least, you assume this would be considered sexy lingerie as far as ponies go.
"I'm just a sweet Pink Pony
From Ponelicious, Ponyville."
Stands there for a moment and twirls around to show herself off before she starts to strut right back towards you.
"Let me show you around
Maybe play you a sound.
You look like you're pretty groovy."
As she reaches you she begins to walk around the table you're tied to and brushes her tail against your face.
"Or if you want something visual
That's not too abysmal,
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie."
First, calm down.(you too pinkie)
Next, Start singing
Ask while singing really loudly where you are.
Sing a happy song happy songs make pink demon's go a way..
Calmly ask why you are tied up surly this pink pony must have a goodish reason for knocking you out and then strapping you down in a dark room.
..................
..................
..................
Yah, your boned.
use your awsome bawler boss negotiation abilities (you rely too much on outside forces to help) and become her friend. promise (pinkie promise if she agrees) that you owe her one (child friendly) favor if she helps you out
For a moment, she stops singing. You figure this is your chance to speak.
"I'm glad I'm finally able meet you," you say to her, hopefully in keeping with the tune of the song. "Can you tell me why I'm tied to this table?" She just keeps walking around you and the table you're tied to as you keep talking. "I'm kind of in a bit of a hurry." You pause for a moment, but still she says nothing. " For that matter, can you tell me where I am? I'd really like to get out of this jam. I don't want to be any worry."
The second you say those last words, she gets in front of you, stands up on her hind legs and puts both her forehooves right next to your shoulders.
"Well you got caught flat on your back, well, how `bout that?"
She began to sing again. After she sang that last bit she turned to look at the audience, which you had no idea about since you're in this story. Then suddenly she gets off of you and begins to strut towards the other end of the room again.
"Well, baby, don't you panic.
By the light of the night it'll all seem alright.
I'll get you an enthusiastic manechanic."
As she reaches the back of the room she spins back around and begins to dance in place.
"I'm just a sweet pink pony
From Ponelicious, Ponyville.
Break free of the Ropes in an epic fashion!
If that fails then fall to the floor and worm your way out of there!
Break the restraints then light up a left over joint, then when pinkie walks in offer her some
Ok first you gather all your manliness within your body and call upon your inner ALEX LOUIS ARMSTRONG to then make your body shine with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns! Ok maybe it won't work, but at least it fills you with confidence and bravery! Even though you are tied up.
Oh and to Pinkie Pie, please, please, PLEASE! Help out our protagonist here in any way, shape, or form that doesn't involve anything sexual or sharp objects.
Have a seizure trying to break your bonds
You must summon your inner Alex Louise Armstrong and break your binds
then run straight into a wall and through it in order to escape the room
In a attempt to break free, rock the chair back and forth to try and fall, and when you do, the chair does not break as according to plan and now you are tied to a chair and on the ground.
If no answer, try to break out of your bonds.
Okay you've had just about enough of this.
With all of your badass bawller boss manly strength, you summon your inner Alex Louise Armstrong and pull on the bonds as tightly as you can in an attempt to break free from them. Sure, you have no idea if this will work, but you are certainly not staying here for a second longer.
You pull as hard as you can, the bonds that hold you don't seem to be nudging a bit. Over on the other side of the room, the pink pony is still singing without paying any attention to what you are doing.
You scream as you pull tighter on your bonds to pull forth all of your manly strength. Suddenly, you feel the bonds move a little bit.
Then suddenly, out of god damned nowhere, a pony on a motorcycle bursts through the wall.
The sudden shock and surprise causes you to fall back against the table, which makes it fall back and break apart, effectively breaking it and freeing you from your bonds. You;re not entirely sure how that happened, but at the same time, it got you free so you don't really care.
Maybe the Greek gods were helping you after all.
You brush off the confusion of what just happened and look up at the stallion that rode in on the motorcycle. His coat was light yellow in color and had a blonde mane and tail. He was wearing a biker jacket which came complete with a pair of sunglasses and a helmet, the latter two of which he promptly took off and threw to the ground.
"Okay, to hell with this!" You say to yourself as you run like your inner Alex Louis Armstrong demands out of the hole he made in the wall.
You run back out into the town.
"That's it!" You think to yourself. "I've got to get the hell out of this place." You say that, but all you do is right straight through town. You have no idea where to go.
What do you do?
-Meanwhile, back at the Ranch-
Back at the ranch, Applejack questions who this "Nyarlathotep" creature is.
"Uhh... Twilight..." Applejack said to her friend, looking a little more than concerned. Okay, that was putting it lightly, but still she was concerned. "What the buck... is a Nyarlathotep?" Twilight only laughed even more sheepishly than she thought she ever could as her blush grew brighter. Her whole face was as red as the apples on the farm.
"Well uh..." Twilight began. "You see Applejack... he's a..."
-Meanwhile back at the ranch-
The cutie mark crusaders informs the mares about the human and how he acted as a ghost and makes a comment on how they aren't real.
Twilight: *cough* you're right girls, ghost don't exists
Ghost Sombra: ahem.
Twilight: especially ones that haunt you after he dies and blames you for ruining his plans.
Ghost Sombra:AHEM
Twilight: so girls where the human *smiles creepily*
Cmc: we don't know
Twilight: oh come on now how am I going to find him
Ghost sombra: oh by the way I just want to inform you that pinkie haves the human.
(I got nothing after this)
Twilight's words were interrupted by the sound of a speeding scooter outside their house.
"Applejack!" Applebloom called out as she, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo rushed past Rainbow Dash through the door and into the house. Concern for her sibling took over and Applejack forgot about what Twilight was trying to tell her.
"What's goin on Applebloom?" she asked.
"Some weird thing just jumped out of our treehouse!" Applebloom said.
"It looked like some kind of weird monkey thing," Sweetie Belle added. "It told us it was a ghost."
"I still say it looked more like a giant weasel," Scootaloo added. At this, Twilight's ears suddenly perked up, and with a speed that even Pinkie Pie would be jealous of, she was suddenly off the couch and right in front of the cutie mark crusaders looking down at them with the creepiest grin possible on her face.
"Did you see where it went!?" Twilight asked with more enthusiasm than she probably meant to.
"Where the ghost went?" Sweetie Belle asked in response.
"I keep telling you it wasn't a ghost," Scootaloo said to her.
"Yeah, well you don't know that," Sweetie Belle returned.
"It wasn't a ghost," Applebloom added. "Ghosts don't exist." She then turned back to Twilight. "Don't they Twilight?" Twilight was silent for a few moments before her brain finally registered what they said.
"Oh what," Twilight said before she coughed into her hoof. "Yeah, you're right girls. Ghosts don't exist."
"*Ahem..." said the Ghost of Sombra who floated right next to Twilight where only she could see him.
"Especially ones that haunt you after they die and blame you for ruining their plans."
"*AHEM..." Sombra said again. Twilight ignored him.
"So girls..." Twilight said as she looked back down at them with her creepy as all tartarus smile. "Did you see where the human went?" The CMCs were silent for a while before Applebloom finally spoke.
"No, not really..." she said, somewhat nervously.
"We think we saw him running back towards town but..." Sweetie Belle added.
"Oh by the way," The ghost of Sombra said to Twilight. "I just wanted to inform you that Pinkie Pie has the human."
"Thank you Sombra!" Twilight shouted.
"WHAT!?" The CMCs all shouted back at her simultaneously.
"Oh uh, I mean. Thank you girls!" Twilight said as she quickly turned and dashed out the door with her Pinkie Pie rivaling speed. There was silence for several moments as the CMC's, Applejack, Big Macintosh, and Rainbow Dash all stared out the door where she went.
Within an instant, she was back again.
"Sorry," she said as she laughed nervously a little bit. "I forgot these," the moment she said those words a magenta aura surrounded her katana and Solid Snake outfit and levitated them right towards her. "Bye!" she said to her friends as she turned around and with the same speed that she had left the first time, bolted away. It was almost like she teleported, only without magic.
All ponies in the house could only stare in a mixture of confusion, bewilderment, and sheer "what is this I don't even."
"AJ," Rainbow Dash said, effectively breaking the silence. "We're gonna have to stop her aren't we?"
"Eeyup," Applejack said in her best impression of her brother.
Never saw this coming didn't you 
But then again, isn't that just like Pinkie Pie to do something you would never EVER expect?
Stats
Page generated in 0.083 seconds
Total duration
950 users online
209,135 hits today, 2,314,256 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
You hear the door unlock and twilight in the window. RUUUUUUUUNNNN!!!!!
oh, when I first saw the description of the stallion I thought it was some ponified Terminator... wait a minute!
Run towards the forest near sweet apple acers...
Or maybe not if all those crazy ponies are there.
Mug everybody in the town until you find one with a map, and mug them for it.
Suddenly you're approached by a Tyrannosaurus Rex wearing a Fez hat and a gypsy scarf. He says to you: "Oh good I've been looking everywhere for you! You see I've been ostracized by dinosaur society by my inability to do the dinosaur. For so long I've been alone because of this, but then I heard of a legend of something called 'the human' who would be the supreme master of doing the dinosaur. I searched far and wide and finally I've found you! Now please, would you teach me?" You agree to teach the T-Rex and you engage in a quick 90's sports movie montage where you teach your new friend how to do the dinosaur. He then goes on to get so good at doing the dinosaur that he immediately is promoted to dinosaur president. Your good deed of the day done, you continue running away from the crazy rapist ponies, but not before telling yourself that you'll never forget the friend you made that day.
Run towards the forest and hope the Greek gods give you a break
So you figure why just you take a walk, you know save some energy, calm down a bit, possibly find a bush to go meditate in. As you are walking you notice that there are no ponies around... ok... you keep walk till somehow you end up in a alleyway somehow. You decide to sit in the alleyway for no good reason. You go to rest your head on a wall but... you fall through the wall. OK its now a illusion wall. You take a look around and notice it looks like a safe house, with your normal supplies such as: Water, Food... climbing gear? There are also some nice beds to that you would fit in. But something else catches your eye.
Stop running and think you need a damn safe house! Besides you can't outrun them forever and you need to sleep! You need to infiltrate a home most specifically heading toward the dark alley way behind you with the idea that walking the pony filled streets will only get you caught. After walking for a bit you find a box only to find the mother load of hiding places a hole leading to the towns sewers.
Step One: Grab a pony.
Step Two: Put him/her on your head.
Step Three: Claim you have a hostage and you'll let him/her go if you get a ride as far away from Ponyville as possible.
Step Four: LEAVE!!!!
Run to Lyra and Bon Bon's house. If they aren't there, run to the hospital. Once you find them, have them press charges against Twilight and Applejack for 'Breaking and Entering,' 'Vandalism,' and 'Assault with a Deadly Weapon (Katana).' Even if you aren't protected under Pony law, surely you will be protected as a witness.
Once Twilight is in prison, you have about half a day to start running from Ponyville before Princess Celery bails Twilight out.
You aren't very fast, so you must ride Lyra off into the sunset.
Serpentine motherfucker. Serpentine!
All of a sudden.... Cabbages
Dig a hole big enough for you, then lower yourself into it and cry until the bad ponies go away.
After reaching a good distance from that place you decide to take a small stop, you look around to make sure nobody is there, after quickly thanking the greek gods your inner soldier kicks in, you grind your teeth and go forward, you walk down your path turning with determination whenever your heart told you it was right, a left, a right, another right, another house NO you didn't stop, you didn't even slow down, you walk right into a corner and as you were a step away you see it! An amazing box with your name on it, as you open it you find a nice looking suit.... well... at least you will look cool in it.
Well if you're trying to escape you're gonna have to at one time perform parkour, ray would be disappointed if you didn't.
Run for the reflecting pool and make the most badass clone army, that even the emperor would be jealous of
Freedom! Freedom at last! Now is the time to do something you've been putting off for far too long: FIND LYRA AND BON-BON! However, since you have no idea how to navigate this crazy pony town, you stand still for a moment, contemplating which way to go. Suddenly, you hear a surprised voice with a rather thick English accent say "well I'll be." You turn around to see a brown stallion with a picture of an hourglass on his flank wearing a tie. He has a rather mischievous glint in his eyes.
...Uh oh.
2257118
cabbage medul
As you run, you find a train getting ready for departure. Seeing the way out of this crazy town, you channel your Inner Flash and run towards the train as it moves, and barely manage to get on as it goes full steam ahead!
"Try and get me now, you f
ing crazy ponies!"
You run towards what looks like a giant tree in the middle of town (Twilight's House).
Start humming Ride of the Valkyries.
A piece of paper suddenly falls out of fucking nowhere onto the ground in front of you and with your inner Alex Louis Armstrong you decide to pick up said piece of paper. The piece of paper has details of a secret reflecting pool that can create clones of you and also detailed directions towards said reflecting pool. You then decide to keep said piece of paper handy and think of a plan to head to this 'secret reflecting pool' in case if things get too crazy here in Ponyville...
YOUR INNER ALEX LOUIS ARMSTRONG COMMANDS IT!
You remember that when you were in the orchard running from rainbow dash, that a ways away from the tree-house, there was a ominous looking forest.........you then decide that since nearly every pony from pony-ville tried to rape you or tried to help you (but failed since twilight was on raep mode and kicked their asses), you decide to flee to the deepest parts of the forest. there may be some REALLY scary stuff, but between you and me, facing scary horror-movie like things might be better than getting raped by a purple unicorn who's trying to cosplay as solid snake.......which actually surprises me that she didn't get sued by the actual solid snake yet, because I do believe unless she got permission, I'd expect Solid Snake to show up in his holy hind helicopter
And before I end this comment, let me bestow upon you some helpful knowledge: if you DO go to the forest, beware of blue flowers that are called "poison joke". Their name comes from the fact that if you come into contact with them, later on or even instantly, it will change you in a way that seems not funny and cruel, hence why its name is "poison joke". BEWARE THE POISON JOKE!!!.......I is sirius
Meanwhile with the human
After the human escapes he see a blue box that says "Police Public Call Box"
With no where else to run I suggest hiding in their until things cool down.
The human reads the other sign "pull to open"
The human tries to open the box not budging at all then all of a sudden it makes a sound and fades away.
Meanwhile with Twilight...
do something like this: (rage part)
MY SUGGESTION THREE TIMES IN A FRIGGIN ROW??? Thanks, Razor!
)
Okay, suggestion time.
look up towards (but not directly at) the sun, assuming it's afternoon. Using the sun as a compass (you know how to do this dont lie everyone does) you decide to head west at a brisk walk, so as to not wear you out. just head west hoping that you will find the quickest route out of town.
...
...
(and yes i looked at the map again but can you blame me?
You run into Spike, your first thought is, "Holy Crap a Dragon." You then realize Dragons breathe fire, so if you make him your friend you'll finally have a weapon. Explain your situation. If he's helpful, ask him for help getting out of town and away from Twilight. If he is in league with the rapist, knock him out with a round house kick and steal his gems. Make your way to the train with or without Spike and get the hell out of Ponyville, it doesn't matter what the destination is.
Ask if anypony has a compass. Acquire compass. GO. THE. BUCK. NORTH.
While going north, jack off on cats.
You look around. hey... wait a minute... your back where you started. Well, while your here you should at least check it lyra, bon bon, and rarity are alright. Though be careful around rarity... she did save you, but we don't want her to almost rape you like last time.
If anyone tries to blockade your northern trajectory, let your pimp hand fly.
Don't even listen to them, pimp slap whatever creatures you come across, then say a sexy one-liner.
JUMP!!!
SCIENCE MOMENT: The absence of light wouldn't have any mass, so you'd be talking to nothingness. It's more sensical to talk to an inanimate object.
Nyarlathotep: the Egyptian pharoah of chaos.
Discord and Atem are going to sue. Oh, wait. Probably not Discord, because that's what you'd expect him to do.
...uh...
Remix music, go!
channel your inner Daryl Dixon you now feel like the greatest redneck ever an survie... you will survie you will not be defeated by pony's you theglobaldispatch.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Norman-Reedus-Daryl-Walking-Dead-photo.jpg nowto the wood were you will be safe.
Do some people not realize that they aren't talking to Human when they post suggestions?
Example 1: Human will not go make a clone army using the Mirror Pool, because he has no idea that that's even a thing, and you can't tell him about it because you don't exist.
Example 2: Human will not go to Fluttershy or Zecora for help because he's never met them before, thus he doesn't know where they live or that they exist, and you can't tell him about them because you don't exist.
The comments represent random ideas that pop into Human's head or suggestions to the author of situations that could pop up. He can't come up with a plan that involves something that he has no prior knowledge of. And you can't give him that knowledge because you don't exist.
Find flutter shy she's your only hope
Notice a cardboard box next to you and look inside only to find what looks like an easy button so you press it and CHEESE FALLS FROM THE HEAVENS forcing a hind to conveniently land next to you and Snake forcefully suspends you from the bottom and transports you to a random destination.(Did i mention your terrified of heights)
Since you are back in town, it may be a good idea to seek out Lyra and Bon Bon for help and protection. You may also want to consider recruiting Applejack and Big Mac since you believe they aren't interested in bringing you to Twilight. You don't really have a lot of options at this point.
Run down random streets and end up right back where you started.
Time for a new approach! While running through town you hear a pony talk about the library. Using your excellent memory, you recall how Twilight acted when you accidentally tore her book during your first encounter with her. You decided to go into the library and get one of her books; you plan to threaten to tear the book to shreds if Twilight tries to get to you again. You understand that it is not a good idea to infuriate this mare further, but you're a bad-ass and you are willing to take that risk if it means keeping Twilight at bay.
2258018 Yes, gather them all together and then wreck the library as revenge. Start tearing apart all the books, wrecking the furniture, and stealing all the bits and gems you can find. Then BURN THE WHOLE THING DOWN!!!! Do this by shoving books into the kitchen oven, once they catch flame use Twilight's chemistry set to spread the fire to the rest of the house. Start laughing like a maniac while singing "Light My Fire" By the Doors. Then get the hell out of Ponyville since Twilight is going to be super pissed
Wait a fucking second.... didn't that pony just drive through that wall with a motorcycle? You get your ass back there and steal that nigga's bike. It may be immoral but its either that or run through the street filled with potential rapists
"I'm going to be RAAAAAAAAAAAAPED!!"
Headi in the same general direction you see the least amount of buildings. Gotta get out of the town sometime, right?
So, head in whatever direction (NOT north because you have NO BUCKING IDEA where north or any other direction is!)
while evading any rapists, hind helicopters, ghosts, basements in which to dinosaur, ponies in general, etc.
Eventually find yourself on the edge of a seemingly pony rapis-free forest...
It seems I'm quite late again, no matter. Run to the edge of town and use your amazing bawler boss strength to summon Artix's Blade of Awe, then use it to defend yourself.
Begin to make your way through the town towards a looming forest in the distance. On your way, pray to the Greek Gods, expose Solid Snake in his cardboard box again and narrowly avoid being kidnapped by Twilight!
Summon your inner Aleksandr Pistoletov and do the dongcopter.
lol, I thought, at the end of the last chapter, it was PDP. Nope, it's Kinkie
Keep running until you find a forest, when finding said forest, go in it and if you come across any ponies that are not Bon Bon or Lyra, GET THE F
AWAY FROM THEM!
"as you enter the forest, a giant bear appears, and it is NOT happy. You then faint like a true man. You then awake in a room on a couch not tied up with a yellow Pegasus sitting in a chair across from you."