Diplomacy
You grab a barrel and run to the top of the stairs. From there, you pull a Donkey Kong and throw the barrel at Applejack. Hopefully, she can't jump like Mario.
DonkeyKong the shit out of her with aformentioned barrels.
Upon distraction or injury upon applejack, resume parkour past Aj towards the stairs, and attempt to steal hat in the process.
You arrive into a rather large barn, with sunlight streaming through (damn, youve been out hours)
but if thats the case, why didnt AppleJack hand you over to Twil-
A purple pony stands in the doorway and your only route out of the barn. You can see an apple orchard behind Twilight.
Plan B: Wreck her shit and go Donkey Kong on her with the barrels.
Attempt to reason with the farmpony; If all else fails you can always use those barrels in a cliche cartoon avalanche thingy to bury her while you escape while doing a Woody Woodpecker laugh.
pick up a barrel and scream BARRELS!!!
as you throw the barrel at her
amd while shes down, RUN BI*CH RUN!!!
Grab the nearest barrel, run up the stairs and throw the barrel down it. If it hits, moonwalk towards the front door as celebration to your victory.
Get down on one knee and propose, while she is confuzzled grab a barrel and run outside and place the barrel in the way of the door and turn around while dusting your hands off. As soon as you turn around you see Twilight and only one thing comes to mind, "Oh shit."
You pick up the barrels and go fucking donkey kong medley on her ass
Grab the nearest barrel, run up the stairs and throw the barrel down it. If it hits, moonwalk towards the front door as celebration to your victory.
You tried lifting one of those barrels when you were doing your epic parkour routine around the room. You couldn't for the life of you lift it despite your bawller strength. Whatever is in those things it is heavy as f***, so unfortunately there will be none of that. Still, you contemplate this for a moment and look back up towards the door, only to see another, much larger, red, apparently male pony (come to think of it this is the first male pony you've seen, and by Jove he's f***ing huge) at the foot of the door looking down right at you. He has pretty much the same look that Applejack does, so yeah, there are multiple flaws in this plan.
You suddenly realize that you are in a basement! QUICKLY DO THE DINOSAUR LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!
Ask for help with calculus. Then while she is confused you do the dinosaur.
You should have thought of that while you were parkouring around the basement in the dark. How is that going to help now? You make a mental note to do the dinosaur later though.
explain to applejack why you did that,kiss her hooves,then beg for her to stop twilight saying that if you do i will harvest all your apples
[what is a grue anyway?]
Stay calm and rationally talk with applejack. You better have a high speech level if you wanna live!
Also apologize for what you did!
Apologize to Applejack about tossing her apple stand at Twilight when you two first met...or you could just 'boop' her nose repeatedly.
Definition of boop: Verb; To poke an animal or something cute in the nose.
Apologize awkwardly for ruining her apple stand.
Yell the manliest thing ever! (Not in the face! Not in the face!)
Continue crying in the hopes that you see a slim glimmer of empathethy in her eyes
Get down on one knee, look Applejack in the eye, and prepare to give the best apology you have ever given in your life.
"I know that you are angry with me, and rightfully so. I was in a panic and lost control of myself. Instead of facing my fears and confronting Twilight Sparkle head on, I ran away like a coward, and wrongly affiliated you in this situation. You weren't doing anything wrong, you were just doing your job selling apples, and there I was ruining it for you. I didn't properly explain things to you or wait until I received permission for you to help me. We could have become friendly with each other, and maybe even friends at one point, but I abandoned all of that and became enemies with you. It's my fault I'm here right now with you, and I should have confronted Twilight in the first place. All I can do is beg for your forgiveness and let bygones be bygones. I truthfully am sorry for this whole mess and getting you involved. You didn't deserve that."
Try diplomacy. If that doesn't work, Settle your problems with a Pokemon battle.
Calmly bawl your eyes out and plead for your life in the manliest way possible.
Good Route: Apologize and try to be diplomatic using your 'silver tongue' skills.
1. Look her in the eye and apologize for tipping over her cart of apples, she is still probably angry about that.
2. explain the situation to her in your point of view.
3. Ask what Twilight has said about you, she might think you are some monster that attacked her friend.
4. offer whatever you can to make up for how you wronged her.
Grovel at her hooves begging for mercy. Like a sir.
attepmt to talk
continue crying like the manly man you are
Well there is only one option left at this point, after all you are pretty much at her mercy.
"I'm sorry!!!" You practically scream at her as you get down on your knees and grovel before her. God, you feel pathetic for apologizing to ponies. Still, you do mange to hold back your manly tears. "I'm sorry I wrecked your apple stand. I know that you are angry with me, and rightfully so. I was in a panic and lost control of myself. Instead of facing my fears and confronting Twilight Sparkle head on, I ran away like a coward, and wrongly affiliated you in this situation. You weren't doing anything wrong, you were just doing your job selling apples, and there I was ruining it for you. I didn't properly explain things to you or wait until I received permission for you to help me. We could have become friendly with each other, and maybe even friends at one point, but I abandoned all of that and became enemies with you. It's my fault I'm here right now with you, and I should have confronted Twilight in the first place. All I can do is beg for your forgiveness and let bygones be bygones. I truthfully am sorry for this whole mess and getting you involved. You didn't deserve that. I'm so sorry! Please not the face! Not the face!"
You had more you wanted to say, but then she holds up a hoof the silence you. At that you shut your trap.
"Now look," she begins to explain. "I don't care what ya'll are, how yah got here, or what Twilight wants with yah." She then sighs to herself and look to the side a little, her expression becomes a bit calmer as she does. "And in retrospect ah probably should 'ave helped yah. I mean gal disappears for a week and then she comes back all nuts in the head. Tain't right." Then she directs her gaze back at you, the look of anger returning. "But ya'll still wreaked mah apple stand!" She practically shouts. "Ya'll wreaked mah stand and destroyed a lot of mah apples! Ah lost a lot o' bits cause o' you and Ah aim to make em back!" Well, you can't deny her logic there. "An since ya'll made mey loose all those bits. You're gonna help me make 'em back!" She said as she took a step forward and pressed her face against yours. You could practically feel her horse breath on you. It smelled like apples. "Tat clear?"
At this point, you really have no choice but to agree. You don't even want to imagine the implications for what happens if you don't.
"Yeah," you reply.
"Good," Applejack replies as she pulls away from you. "Now pull yourself tahgether and come on. We're already late enough as it is." She says as she turns around and walks back up the stairs. The large red pony at the top steps aside to let her pass. Reluctantly, you follow her. There's not much else you can do at this point.
You reach the top of the stairs and find yourself in what is unmistakably a barn. You would have taken the time to look around a bit more, but suddenly some clothes found themselves thrown into your eyes. All you could see was yellow fabric.
"Put these on," Applejack says to you as she heads towards the door. "They're Big Macintosh's. Don't know why ya'll insist on wearin clothes, but if ya do ya'll might as well. They might be a little big, but they should fit." The clothes drop from your face and into your hands as you look at them. In your hands are a pair of blue jeans, a red, buttoned up shirt, and a belt. There aren't any shoes though, which doesn't come as much of a surprise since none of these ponies apparently wear shoes. Also Applejack was right, they did look a little to big for you, but it didn't look like it would be to much.
You stare at them for a moment before you suddenly look left, and right into the eyes of the large, red pony who you can only assume is Big Macintosh. You didn't really get the chance to see it before since you were at the bottom of the stairs, but he is really friggin huge. Most of the ponies you've encountered thus far have been smaller than you generally, though he was tall enough to reach eye level with you. The look he had on before was gone, but he still showed a look of distrust. You make a mental note not to piss this guy off.
Eventually, he turns and walks away from you and you quickly get dressed. You have just acquired farmer's clothes.
"See that's cart?" Applejack asks you as just walk on over to her, your new clothes on and fitting well (surprisingly). You nod in response. "You're pullin it." You agree and take the cart as Applejack and Big Macintosh push open the barn doors.
As the three of you walk outside, your eyes meet not only a farm (which you expected) but the biggest apple orchard you have ever seen in your life.
"Holy shit!" was all you could say.
"Now, Ah reckon you can't buck an apple tree?" Applejack asked, ignoring your outburst.
"No, not really," you reply.
"Didn't think so. All right then this is how its gonna work," Applejack begins to explain. "Mah brother and Ah are gonna head out into the fields right there and buck some trees. Your job is tah take the baskets of apples we collect, put em on that cart right there and haul em back here. Then once you're done you come back and get some more. Understood?"
"Yes," you reply. It didn't sound too difficult, and the cart after all wasn't that heavy. Also on the bright side, it was nice to run into a pony other than Lyra and Bon Bon who didn't want to have forced intercourse with you.
"All right then," Applejack said. "Lets get movin." At that, the three of you walk out into the orchard. You hauling the cart behind you. Its really not as heavy as you though.
What do you do?
Stats
Page generated in 0.032 seconds
Total duration
1,086 users online
1,626,154 hits today, 1,822,946 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Continue to help her until your debt is payed than moonwalk out if there like a baller bauss.
Remember to do the dinosaur.
go with it and pray to Jesus and Faust that Twilight doesn't find you.
Try and arrange sleeping quarters as far away from AJ as possible. Perhaps even in a place where she doesn't know where you are. But you should actually try to repay your debt...
Who am I kidding, you're gonna get raped by AJ
Ditch the cart and run! Get the FUCK out of there! RUN, BOY! RUN!!! And, AJ catches you. What do you do, next guy?
Mention to Applejack how two ponies have attempted to have their way with you, one of whom seemed sane until she did, and elaborate on your growing suspicion that you may be magically cursed to generate rampant lust in the female population of her species. Do not notice Apple Bloom while explaining this.
Try your darned hardest to do the job correctly until your debt has been paid.
Seriously, even anti-heroes need to do the right thing now and again.
Theres no way you can harvest all these trees! Go to he hill! You can haul the cart atop of it and when shes not looking jump inside and mario kart your ass down the hill like a boss.
when you're left alone in the field (assuming that will happen) ditch her and head for the hills! or forest. whichever's more convenient. there's no way in hell i'm going in for slave labour!
As you walk out to the orchard, you notice that all the trees have a very strange lack of apples on the trees. Applejack and Big Mac begin to run in a panic as they notice their livelyhood has disappeared right under their noses. You struggle to keep up as you pull the cart behind you. As you all move deeper into the forrest, you start to hear the distinctive noise of apples being bitten into. Soon you come across a clearing surrounded by knocked down trees. In the middle of the clearing the three of you are shocked to see... a grounded hind henicopter. The next thing you notice are two figures walking to the helicopter with bulging stomachs and bags full of sweet-looking apples. It's Solid Snake and Jesus come to torment you some more. Snake notices you and shoots you some more rude hand gestures before hopping in to the hind with his partner-in-crime and then flying off. Applejack and her brother stand their speechless for several moments before turning to you in rage. "Friends of yours?" Applejack says menecingly while her brother threateningly stomps his hooves on the ground.
Help AppleJack and hopefully see if she can tell you tell all the mares are trying to sex you up
after work challenge applejack to a drinking competition, then streak through ponyville drunk off your ass
Carry out your indentured servitude in exchange for food, a home and protection from the other maniacs running about. Yay, pony feudalism!
Work to repay your debt.once completed thank the sane pony for her under standing. Then moonwalk towards the not evil forest and hide..but we all no with your luck your doomed.
Attempt to talk to AJ, tell her while your were the one who damaged her stand, it would not have happened if Twilight hadn't been attacking you, therefore she shares as much blame in this as you do. As such, she needs to be confronted and dealt with, or at the very least you'd like for AJ to promise that she will not allow Twilight to attack you, while you work off your debt.
ACTUALY HELP HER AND NOT DO ANYTHING STUPID LIKE THE OTHER COMMENTS SAY!
Pull that cart in manly strides and take pride in what you are doing for Applejack. Continue doing this as your manliness radiates off of you with the white hot intensity of A THOUSAND SUNS!
All the while planning an escape route in your mind if Applejack goes all rapey like Twilight and Rarity.
Woah...this shit just got real...
That said, repay your debt by doing what Applejack wants.
Once that's done, you should be in a position to ask her, if not her personal help, then to arrange for a way to contact this 'Princess Celestia' you keep hearing about in an attempt to get home, or at least contain her student who has been trying to rape you.
And upon reflection, ask if you know any good shops that Lyra and Bon Bon frequent, as you owe those two ponies for being so awesome to you.
...also, ask Big Mac if he knows a place Mares WON'T enter under ANY circumstance you could retreat to should this all go to buck again...and it will...
Also, under NO CIRCUMSTANCES, are you to be an idiot and try to get away from the Apples until you pay your debt, you're in enough Horseapples as it is.
Make a shiv while you pull the cart, and then stab Big Mac to death.
Cooperate. Big Mac scares the ever loving sh** outta ya.
And then pranks you at dinner.
start thinking of how the fuck you're going to pull it once it has baskets full of apples in it. (it's probably going to be alot heavier)
Fly away.
While you're following AJ and Big Mac you heard a "Psssssssst", taking you by surprise you started looking for the source of that Pssssst, seconds later you saw a ¡FUCKING TALKING TREE! That tree is the one who Psssssst you, then the fucking talking tree say to you: Hey there big boy....... I know you want to buck me...... come on, don't be shy, there's plenty of me for you.
.
.
.
.
¿¡WHAT DAAA F........!?
Stay in line. Seriously. That big red stallion will tear you up.
Spin in circles while going "quack".
watch out for the red one, you have had mares try rape you and almost succeed. If he was to try......
so it might be best if you do as they say for now.
Step one gain some trust complete --- step 2 gain them as allies an friends under way ---step 3 ???? Step 4 profit!
Make idle conversation and constantly compliment that this is the biggest apple farm you have ever seen, and that the apples look the freshest and reddest you have ever known there could be in a shade of red.
This is your one chance to not get fucked by a pony (hopefully), don't screw yourself over!!!
Invent the combustion engine to power the cart.
Comply for now, but if Twilight shows up...GET. THE BUCK. OUT. OF. THERE.
Pull the cart by doing the Moonwalk!
Just do your job before AJ gets even more pissed
Also, pray to Jesus(wherever the hell he is) that Twilight doesn't find you.
Cooperate for now, but remember Rarity also seemed sane at first so maintain a healthy level of paranoia.
Suddenly Jesus rides by on a velociraptor. (you are the only one to have seen him)
explain why your culture frowns upon streaking in public to Applejack and Big Mac
Trust her but not fully. Remember how rarity was all liek "Oh no darling I wouldn't do such a thing!" And she wend loco.
Just do what she says but still be cautious and on gaurd.
And look out for big mac. He may EEYUP you to death.
I just realised "I" was parkouring around like a bawler baws completely naked
Tell Applejack about how "I" almost got raped twice and if "I" can stay for the night hoping to Hind Jesus "I" don't get caught by Twilight.
All of sudden a loud "FUUUUUUUUUU" could be heard all around the world (and beyond) conveniently it sounds like it coming from the purple unicorn
(Too soon?)
Look over there it's a dragon ball on that apple tree now grab it and run to find the rest of the seven around... The ........... World........................ You know I haven't thought this though enough. But still it's your only chance to escape that unicorn.
1. Do the chores.
2. Work up a sweat, releasing more of your intoxicating, manly human pheromones in close proximity to Applejack.
3. Get swarmed by the CMC during the lunch break.
4. Toss Scootaloo through the air like a football until you teach her how to fly.
5. Become Scootaloo's new idol and have her hide you from all the crazy mares.
6. When Applejack succumbs to your smexiness, and Rainbow finds out you stole her #1 fan, run away with Scootaloo into the Everfree forest.
7. Toss Sweetie Belle up on the roof so that Rainbow has to help her down, buying you time to escape.
As you're pulling the heavy cart full of apples, the wheel gets caught in a rut. "Dammit" You swear, and push from the back as hard as you can. It doesn't budge. You wind back and kick the cart with all of your might. Nothing seems to happen, but two seconds later, the cart explodes. You're just standing there in a shower of apples, mouth agape and marveling at your own strength, when the tree beside you explodes as well. "YOU CAN'T Get AWAY THAT EASILY!" Twilight screams, firing another blast, emerging from over the hill.
Fulfill your debt to Applejack. You wrecked her stand, so you might as well pay her back. Besides, it's a big orchard, if Twilight comes around, it'll be easier to hide 'till she leaves.
Be very careful of both Aj AND Big Mac. You have no idea why these ponies are attracted to you, and until you do it's best to assume there is some sort of biological factor involved that works over time. Something none of them are immune to.
Also, do the dinosaur. You life _might_ not depend on it, but in this new world you can't be certain.
Disregard current situation.
Acquire apples and bananas.
agree but say"if twilight comes im running"
If your gonna pay your debt pay it with swag
Might as well pay, but make it clear that if you believe your life, sanity, or virginity (wait, I thought I lost it years ago?) is in danger, you will prioritize saving it over paying our debt. If you need to do so, point out that if you lose any of the three you will be unable to repay your debt.
First things first, the debt has to be paid. After the chores are done... Try to be friends with them I guess.
Out of the corner of your eye you see an upside down cardboard box with a red exclamation mark on the side. Suddenly Solid Snake peeks from underneath it!
"Shit!" he yells, "Cover blown!"
He then calls in a hind who is piloted by Jesus with Discord as secondary pilot. A rope ladder unrolls from underneath it, which Snake then grabs onto. And then they fly into the sunset.