DO THE DINOSAUR ALREADY!!!
By the way, before you go, WALK THE DAMN DINOSAUR already. You're well fed, you've had coffee, and you might as well do it now before you exhaust yourself on Applejack's farm.
Today is a new day, new friends and no one is aiming to rape you anymore. You feel very whimsical and feel the need to celebrate. Today just felt like one of those days you gotta sing, and of course do the dinosaur.
Do the dinosaur. Then ask Lyra and Bon Bon to show you to Applejack's farm.
Walk the dinosaur and dance the macarena before asking Lyra and Bon-Bon to guide you to the farm.
its unanimous, DO THE FUCKING DINOSAUR
You start to feel the urge to walk the dinosaur again as you sit on the couch staring into the space that was the front door. The room is still silent. As much as you would love to do that however, you're pretty sure you don't really have time for that. Plus, you did the dinosaur last night when you got here... You can still remember it.
-Flashback to Last Night-
"Open the door, get on the floor,
Everybody walk the dinosaur,
Open the door, get on the floor,
Everybody walk the dinosaur,"
"Open the door, get on the floor,
Everybody walk the dinosaur,
Open the door, get on the floor,
Everybody walk the dinosaur,"
You and Lyra sang as you did the dinosaur right in their living room.
"Wow, you're right Lyra," Bon Bon said as she looked over at Lyra, who was on the floor doing the dinosaur right next to her. "This is fun."
-Fast Forward to Present-
Yeah, as much as you would like to, you really don't have time right now. You've got somewhere you have to be.
Looks like it's time to get a move on.
Go ahead and get dressed. I wonder if Lyra will be fazed by your naked wong.
After that, let's get moving I guess. Walk outside, observe surroundings, realize you have no idea where you're going, and ask for directions.
Since this moment of silence doesn't seem to be going anywhere, you head upstairs to get dressed. You consider whether or not you should take a shower right now, since you are gonna be working on a farm most of the day and you're gonna be going to a party later so more than likely you'll probably do a better job of freshening up again before you go. In the end, you decide to take a quick, five minute one just to get cleaned up really quick. You'll take another shower later when you get back. Luckily, Lyra and Bon Bon's shower is much bigger than yours, so you have no trouble fitting in it.
Once you're done with your shower, you walk out to see Lyra standing there brushing her mane in front of a mirror. She doesn't say anything to you, and even though she can clearly see you in the mirror, she doesn't seem at all fazed by your naked wong. You think that's kind of odd at first given how these ponies have acted before, but then you remember two important things.
1.) Lyra's seen it before. She saw it when you first met her remember.
2.) These ponies are naked all the time, so seeing that probably doesn't faze them as much. Unless they are in heat, which shouldn't be a problem for you now since the spell is gone.
Either way, you still throw a towel over yourself and walk on out. You notice Bon Bon hop in the shower after you leave. She doesn't really seem to have an issue with closing the door as she enters the shower either. Then you watch as Lyra walks right past you and gets in the shower with her. These ponies can be strange sometimes.
That done, you throw on the work clothes that Rarity gave you. They fit surprisingly well, and are surprisingly comfortable too. You wonder to yourself how she could have made these for you, but then you remember that she still had your suit, so more than likely she still had your measurements and was able to make this. Now you're just left wondering when she found the time to make these. You also put on the boots, which are also surprisingly comfortable.
Get Lyra and Bon Bon to tell you where it is, then ask them to take you there. Don't forget to grab your knife, you only just got out of danger yesterday (So far as you know) and now that you have a belt, it will stay at your hip better. Also ask them if they have a hat you can borrow, working an apple farm in the sun is brutal.
Of course you decide to pack your knife with you. You only got out of danger yesterday, so you as far as you know, you have no idea if you'll still need it. Plus, it stays on your hip better now since you have a belt. You let it hang on your right side for now.
swear you got a map earlier somewhere in the story.
If not, Lyra and Bon Bon might give you directions.
When you get to the farm, channel your inner John Marston. It might make you more suited to farm work in some way or form.
Seconding
Try to get Lyra or Bon Bon to escort you to Sweet Apple Acres. If they can't, you should still be okay. You have that map from earlier, and as for getting through town, just keep channeling The Doctor. No one can wade through awkward situations OR play things by ear quite like The Doctor can.
You had a compass, not a map, and you still have it. It's in your left hand pocket. You're not gonna let that go, you figure you still might have some use for it.
Once you're done getting dressed, Lyra and Bon Bon come downstairs to see you standing here, both of them wearing a pair of saddlebags.
"Wow," Bon Bon says as she lays her eyes on you. "You look nice."
"Thank you," you reply back. You do have to admit, these clothes do make you feel pretty boss. Then again, the suit Rarity made for you made you feel that way as well. This isn't bad in any way, but you really are starting to wonder now if she really is just trying to butter you up so she can have her way with you again. You make a note of that to find out about that later.
Ask Lyra and Bon Bon to escort you to AJ's farm and engage in healthy conversation as you go.
Step 1: Ask Lyra and Bon Bon where Applejack's farm is, since you need to go there to work.
Step 2: After getting directions, ask if either of them has the time to escort you there, as you still don't feel completely safe walking around Ponyville alone, given everything that's happened to you here.
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Profit.
Lets do the time warp again ... or you can just ask Lyra and Bon Bon for directions. Also wouldn't hurt to get into those work clothes before you go.
Try to get Lyra or Bon Bon to escort you to Sweet Apple Acres. If they can't, you should still be okay. You have that map from earlier, and as for getting through town, just keep channeling The Doctor. No one can wade through awkward situations OR play things by ear quite like The Doctor can.
Action: Talk to Lyra and Bon-Bon
"Can you guys show me the way to AppleJack's Place? I still have a debt to pay and I intend to do so."
Now that they are both here, since you don't exactly know your way to Applejack's farm, you might as well as one of them to show you were it is. After all, you trust them.
"Hey, uh..." You begin to ask them. "Do you think you guys can show me the way to Applejack's place?" Both Lyra and Bon Bon look at you with confusion as you say that.
"You don't know where it is?" Bon Bon asks.
"Yeah, uh, I was kind of knocked out when I got there, and then I sort of had to run away cause one of Twilight's friends showed up..." You do your best to try and explain the situation. "So I really wasn't paying much attention to where I was going. Plus I-"
"Plus, since you just got off the hook yesterday, you don't exactly feel comfortable walking into town by yourself," Lyra finishes for you. You're kind of embarrassed to admit it, but she's right.
"Yeah..." you say.
"Sorry," Bon Bon says to you. "But I really need to get to work. Since you've been here I've been taking a few days off, but now I really need to get back."
"You work?" you say to her, genuinely curious.
"Of course," she says as a bright smile lights up her face. "I own a candy store in town. You should come by, I make the best Bon Bons."
"She does," Lyra says. "Nopony makes bon bons like Bon Bon here." You can't help but laugh out loud at that statement. Seriously, it was kind of funny. Both Lyra and Bon Bon join in too. "I'll show you where it is." Lyra then says to you. You just look at her. "I'm not doing anything else right now, so I'll show you the way, and I can understand if you're a little nervous about going out right now."
"Thanks," you say to her.
"Hey, no problem," Lyra says. "It's what I do." You can't help but silently agree. It is what she does.
"I guess we should get going then," Bon Bon says as she heads towards the door. You and Lyra follow her.
As you leave the house, you meet( possibley because you're channeling the Doctor) a certain walled-eye, gray pegasus(Derpy) delivering the mail. You feel a strange connection with this pony and decide to explore it, if not now, then later.
Right as you open the door however, you find yourself staring into the face of a grey pegasus with a blonde mane and a satchel around her neck. She's looking right up at you, or at least, one of her eyes is looking up at you. The other one seems to be looking off to the right somewhere. If you didn't know any better, you would say that this particular pegasus is cross eyed.
The two of you remain silent for a few moments as she looks right up at you. You have absolutely no idea why, but you feel a strange urge to hug this pony.
"Hey Derpy," Lyra says as she walks around you. Bon Bon follows around you on the other side.
"Hey Lyra, hey Bon Bon," the grey pegasus says to them. Even her voice is adorable. My god you didn't think that any of these ponies could be more adorable than Fluttershy, but this pony.... "Who's your friend?" she then asks them.
"Oh, this is Jason," Lyra says to her. "He's a human."
"Oh, so you're Jason the human," Derpy says to you.
"Uh... yeah..." is all you can say back.
"You look funny," she says to you with a giggle. You want to say something to her, but all you can think of right now is 'MY GOD SHE IS SO GOD DAMNED ADORABLE!!!'
"So," Bon Bon finally says. "What brings you here, Derpy?"
"Oh right!" Derpy says as if an imaginary lightbulb went off in her head. "I brought you a letter." she says to them before digging her head into her satchel and coming back out with a letter between her teeth. Lyra just takes it from her with her telekinesis, looks at it for a moment, and then floats it behind her into the house.
"Thank you Derpy," she says to her.
"No problem," Derpy replies back before she takes off back into the air. "Bye Jason!" she calls out to you. "I'll see you at the party!" and with that, she is gone. You cannot help but stare up at her as she flies away. By God she is adorable.
"Anyway," Bon Bon finally says. "Bye guys!" That finally breaks you out of the sudden seizure you feel as if you are about to have. You then watch as Bon Bon turns to leave.
"Bye, Bonny!" Lyra calls out to her.
"Bye!" You call out as well as you wave.
"All right, lets go," Lyra says as she trots off.
"Right," you say as you follow her.
As the two of you walk off into town. You take some time to look around. You do have to admit, this town does look nice when you're not running through it scared for your life. You do get quite a lot of stares from the other ponies, but that's to be expected since you're a foreign species. You suppose you're gonna get a lot more of it at the party later tonight.
Since Lyra & Bon-Bon are the nearest ponies you can ask where Sweet Apple Acres is, ask them if they can escort you to said farm (while making sure you're changed into your farm-work clothes. Along the way your "The Doctor" character starts having you talk about near incessant things, but something completely strange happens, possibly because of the character you're channeling or just because of karma, or possibly because of shear dumb luck. As you're walking along with the green and cream duo, and after you stop talking, you zone out for a bit and put your gaze upon the various passerby's, you then see a tanish-brown colored pony talking to a pegasus who's blonde maned, has a grey coat, and has bubbles for a cutie mark. Now this would definitely not seem too important to actually involve yourself in or even give attention, and you continue walking to your temp-job at this point, but something the brown one does makes you slow down in shear amazement (even close to stopping outright): he talks. Now this doesn't seem very exciting to you at first, as of course he could talk, but it's his VOICE that astounds you the most, as it most DEFINITELY sounds like the Tenth Doctor......the 10th doctor......you continue to walk while silently fangasm-ing, and just before you're out of his talk range, you could've sworn you heard an "ALONS-Y".
Along the way though, you notice Derpy again talking to a chestnut colored stallion with an hourglass on his rump and a dark brown mane. This doesn't seem out of place at all, and not to important to involve yourself with, so you continue walking with Lyra to your temporary job, but then something happens. You hear his voice.
It's not the fact that he can talk that gets you, it's what he sounds like. You listen in closer for a moment, he sounds EXACTLY like David Tennant, the tenth Doctor.
'My god!!!' you think to yourself. 'It can't be...' As you get closer though, you notice that his voice sounds more like this.
You can't help but feel slightly disappointed at that for whatever reason. A pony version of The Doctor would have been awesome. You quickly shrug it off though, you suppose its just how it is with that pony. Right before you are out of earshot though, you can swear you hear him say "ALONS-Y!" but you don't get your hopes up. A pony version of The Doctor.... its not like that could happen..... no..... not really.....
As you walk with the par to he farm. "lyra how dow you know su much about humans. heck i didn't even know all that about centaurs."
As you walk, you decide to strike up a conversation with Lyra.
"Hey, Lyra," you say to her. She just looks up at you. "How do you know so much about humans? I mean hell, I didn't even know anything about centaurs."
"Oh that," Lyra replies. "Well...."
"And that's everything really." Lyra finishes explaining.
"Fascinating," you say to her, intrigued. She really did tell you some pretty amazing stuff.
"Yeah," she says. "I never thought I'd get to meet an actual human though." she says as she looks up at you.
"Yeah," is all you can reply back.
"Anyway, we're here," Lyra says as the two of you stop on the road to Applejack's farm. The territory around is is starting to look familiar, and you can see the farmhouse out in the distance. "You think you can make it on your own from here?" Lyra asks. "I've got to go meet a friend." You just look down at her for a moment, then at the farmhouse, then back to her, then back to the farmhouse.
"Yeah," you say. "I think I got it." It's only a short stretch of land, and a shorter walk. What could possibly happen.
"Great," Lyra says. "I'll see you when you get home." As she says that, she turns around and starts heading back. "Bye!" she says as she wave to you.
"Bye," you politely wave back to her as she trots away. You wonder to yourself for a moment who she could be going to meet. For whatever reason, your mind goes back to the conversation you saw her have with Fluttershy last night. Meh, whatever, you still have a job to get to.
Thankfully, nothing happened to you on the short walk over to there. Of course nothing would. You feel kind of silly for worrying now.
Anyway, you walk on up to the barn and notice Applejack and Big Macintosh pulling out the cart that you were carrying around before. They seem as if they're about to get started for the day.
What do you do?
"Hi commenters! Pinkie Pie here. Sorry Razor couldn't make Jason do the dinosaur, but now's not really the time or place for it. Even I notice that. Besides, I'm throwing him a party tonight remember... wink, wink, nudge, nudge, if you know what I mean. *impossibly wide smile* Anyway. I have a lot to do to get ready for that party, so I have to go. Of course you're all invited, so don't worry your furry little heads about that. Anyway, I really have to go. Party planning is serious business. Bye bye!!!" *zips off to nowhere*
Stroll up to them and say "I'm ready to help you ALLONS-Y
Present your most toughest war face! Your inner Batman would help you look badass!
Try really really really hard not to fuck up, and then do so anyway...
you yell them so that they notice you.
you Start walking towards them and watch as they wave back.
Now why are they yelling something abo-
Your head hits a low hanging branch and you fall on the ground.
You can see small pinkie pies hopping around your head. one of them even waves at you.
You just shake your head so that they vanish.
(you don't notice, but the one who waved to you hides inside one of your pockets.)
Applejack runs to you and helps you up.
(everyone needs their own inner pinkie [Creepy laugh that only protagonist hears].)
Since you can't buck apples like the ponies find a sledgehammer then channle your inner Thor and exclaim, "Heed my words, evildoers! If thou dost wish to challenge the Odinson, thou will face the divine power of mighty MJOLNIR! Never shall the god of thunder RELENT!" Then, smash it against a tree.
Hmmm well first off you should- wait isn't that the Hind that Snake, Black Jesus, and Discord were in from before!? And why do they suddenly have bushels upon bushels of pears in their hind!? And now they are pelting pears at you while Snake says "You're STILL not as cool as me bitch!" And since you are channeling your inner Doctor Who you have an extreme dislike for pears. Best option now... RUN AWAY!
Find out what work you are expected to do today. Briefly switch to inactive mode so you can arrange your fictional character channeling to which characters will help you do the work the best.
Murphies law came to bite you on the ass and you apparently trip on a unsuspecting stump and trip into a tree knocking each and every apple out, with your bloody face
Go to Rarity's botique house thingy and ask her to make you a blue fez.
Walk up to Applejack and ask "Alright, what's first?"
(She replies)
"Alright then. Allons-y!
You get knocked down, but you get up again.
You decide to walk up to them and start the morning right with a funny sitcom entrance:
"Heeeeeerrrree's Jason!" You proclaim while jumping in front of them and pointing both thumbs towards yourself, at this point you realize you look like a massive dork, but it's too late now, just hold the pose.
Big Mac chuckles lightly, but AJ just rolls her eyes Laugh awkwardly as you break the stupid pose then ask if they have a spare hat you could borrow for work today.
After Applejack and Big Mac tell you what you're going to do today, you develop the sudden urge to say "Geronimo" as a result of channeling the Doctor. Unfortunately, your hollering angers the United State's Army's 509th Parachute Infantry Regiment, who fly by in a Boeing C-17 Globemaster III shouting "You'll never be as cool as us!"
Action: Greet AppleJack and Big Mac
You go up to them and say "I, Jason, the guardian of Justice, has ARRIVED!"
*crickets during the awkward silence, Big Mac silently chuckles while AJ just rolls her eyes*
Yes!!DERPY! Thank You!
You feel like you should greet them. You've got quite a debt to pay there, and you better get started on paying it back. Besides, the commentors think you shoul to... Wait, what?
Suddenly everything goes white.
"You know too much." She says. Solid Snake stands behind her, and nods, because he's Solid Snake, duh.
You wake up from your daydream. What were you thinking about, again? Whatever. You should propably go greet them.
Start jackin off
You notice Applejack is feeling a little down, and guess its probably about Twilight. You ask whats happened to her(politely and sympathetically). She tells you that they've sent a message to the Princess to come talk to Twilight and help get you home. In the mean time, a Zebra friend of theirs is examing her in case there is a magical/supernatural reason she's lost it.
Make a wooden mask that's somewhat heart-shaped with four spikes coming out of the right and left sides of the lower jaw of it. It should also have two spikes at the top and have big creepy eyes.
DO THE FREAKING DINOSAUR while you reach them
Tell her about the debt thing in this 2381300 . I would like to see what the element of Honesty has to say about the fairness in placing accountability of what happened to her stand on Jason, given the circumstances at the time.
1.) Say 'I'm ready to work.'
2.) Change out the Batman for John Henry.
3.) Use the Doctor's genius and John Henry muscle to finish the work you need to.
4.) Upon finishing your work, switch out John Henry for MJ.
5.) Go back, and party like it's 1998.
7- no wait, 6.) Maintain sobriety and clear head at ALL COSTS.
7.) Upon completion of the day, switch out MJ for the Batman before falling asleep, in case that crazy Twilight chick tries to human-nap you again for whatever reason.
8.) Go to sleep, and dream of Denzel Washington leading an army of flying ninja wheat-bread.
It is time to channel your inner John Marston. That is literally the only farmer I could think of right now.
Time to channel your inner Piccolo and get your self pumped up for work, otherwise, it's going to suck when u get started
when they show you the means in which they harvist apples. switch out your sherlock holmes for chuck noris and round house kick the shit out of that tree
Switch out your snake persona and switch to john marsten and give them the friendly country side welcome while looking badass.
Next time something absolutely ridiculous happens hold an open palm just in front of some pony's face and say, "NO! None of that. Shame on you."
Well, obviously the best thing to do is to walk into Sweet Apple Acres and look for the house or the big red barn you saw last time, no doubt either applejack or Big Mac will be there. After meeting them and getting your chores for today, you set off to do them, with one of them being apple gathering. Its at this point that your Inner Sherlock Holmes comes into play and you start to analyze the trees pretty much individually. From the knowledge you had while in earth, you had to take a course on gardening at the behest of your mother (because you didn't want to deal with the usual mom rants moms go on about) and with this knowledge, you deduce the type of trees they are by analyzing the leaves of the trees, the thickness of the bark, the sound they make when thumping the knuckle of your hands/fingers against it, and afterwards you come to a conclusion: Even if brute force is a factor in making these apples fall into their respective buckets, you figure that since this world is different the trees might just have a sweet spot that with enough used force at a sharp and precise angle, every apple hanging from said tree will fall with barely any effort on your part (after you've built up your stamina and strength to an acceptable level). After giving the tree you're on a few thunks and listening for a sound which you think will be that tree's particular "sweet spot" you line up your body a few feet away, roll your arms a bit to prep them for the task at hand, get into a marathon's runner position, and you start an internal countdown "3.....2.....1......GO!!!!", with this, you bolt at the tree, and with the analytical minds of batman and Sherlock Holmes, you shoulder tackle the tree's sweet spot successfully. This of course doesn't come without pain, and you promptly grab your shoulder and fire off a few curses, but after you've done, you see that it worked! All but a scant few (like 1 or 3 apples) have fallen into the basket(s) in question.
With this success, you decide to plan the amount of force you'll use and alternate between shoulder-tackling and using your feet like you're kicking down a door
2395743
"YAY, were all super sayians "
I laughed so hard at that video I stated Popo laughing! XD