It's Time To Party
Holy shit thats a big bag of weed. You ask her if it is for the party. Oh thats right gota get rdy for the party. Get showered and dressed in your swag suit. Cause tonight is gonna be a good good night. Dont forget to teach the ponies the magic that is doing the dinasaur.
You want to smoke the weed, but you remember that there's a party in your honor later and something tells you(maybe Mini-Pie
or even the Greek Gods) your going to need your complete focus in order to get through it. And if not, then showing up high would at least be rude.
Suggest to Lyra that you shoul save that for after the "Welcome to Equestria" party. Get ready fr the party. At the party, walk the dinosaur.
She obviously got it from flutter shy and she could have done just about anything with it so pass and go to your party
Umm.. Dont get high.
WHY? .
1- Bonbon. She'll want in on that shit too, and she's not back for a while You smoke that now, and you'll leave her out.
2- Don't try going to a party as high as a kite. You don't know if its even legal here, and if, according to pinkie, everyone/pony will be there, chances are you'll run into the letter of the law.
If you do this, refer to my next comment on what to do instead.
dis
As tempting as it is to get right down to business, the party's going to be soon and you want to make a good first impression.
Besides, we don't even know what is in the bag, so let's trim the "comment fat" and see what's inside.
You should also start cleaning up. Have you grown a beard since your time here? I wonder if they have razors.
"Woah..." is all you can say as you take in the sight of the large bag of stuff you can smoke. "Where did you get this?" You ask Lyra. You were curious before where she got her stuff, but now you're tempted to know.
"Oh, this," Lyra responds. "From Fluttershy, duh. Everypony knows that she's always got the best stuff." And now you're suspicions are confirmed. You had your doubts, and hearing that conversation between Lyra and Fluttershy last night raised suspicions, but you never actually believed it. Now though, you really have no choice but to believe it. Knowing her though, you can't help but wonder exactly what it is she is growing or how she does it without any of these ponies noticing. Hell, you were at her house and you didn't see anything like that going on.
But that is a mystery for another time.
As alluring as the bag of smokable grass is, you can't help but feel as if now is not the right time. You've got a party to get to, and something is telling you (maybe it's the Greek Gods, or maybe its that Pinkie Pie ghost) that you're gonna need to be completely focused for it, given all that has happened. Okay, the threat is gone for now, but you still can't help but feel a little jumpy.
Plus, showing up to a party while high would just be rude.
"Sorry, Lyra," you begin to say to her. "As much as I want to. I think we should save it for after the party."
"Yeah," Lyra replies as she levitates the bag back into her saddlebags. "I was gonna say the same thing actually. Plus, Bonnie isn't even here yet. We wouldn't wanna leave her out."
"Yeah," you can't help but agree there. You know you'd feel pretty bad if you got left out of something like that. Plus, Bon Bon is pretty cool, you wouldn't wanna do that to her.
As those thoughts run through your head, you notice Lyra lean over and start sniffing you a little.
"Yeah, and you should probably take a shower," she says as she leans back.
"Why?" you ask, even though you fully well know you should.
"You know what you smell like?" Lyra replies.
"What?"
"A monkey whose been working on a farm all day." At that, you can't help but agree with her. You smell yourself, but you don't notice much. Then again, these ponies have larger noses than you. More than likely their sense of smell is much better than yours. If that is the case though, then you really need to get cleaned up.
Getting Ready for Tonight
It's Time To Party by Andrew W.K.
(This is the song for the rest of the chapter)
You don't waste any time after that. You head back upstairs and get back in the shower. You make sure to give an extra effort to clean yourself off. You want to make a good first impression after all.
You start to wonder if smoking weed is what's causing those weird, mysterious, and logic-less imagery and sounds during your time in Equestria. Meh. Those strange things have actually been fun to have around anyways, and you find it eerily comforting. Other than that pony in a suit.
Whatever you do, don't think about/try to learn more about Slenderman pony. If it's anything like the Earth version, knowing more just makes it notice you more. Also, your inner The Doctor hopes you get a reason to do the Atraxi Speech sometime.
You don't think anymore about the pony in the suit that you saw earlier. As much as he freaked you out, you try not to bother yourself with him. Maybe your mind is playing tricks on you. Though for some reason, your inner Doctor hopes that you soon get a reason to do the Atraxi speech in the near future. Not sure why.
You do wonder if all the drugs you've been doing are causing these weird, mysterious, and downright logic-less imagery that you've been seeing. You don't really mind it though. Aside from the suited pony, most of them you find eerily comforting and fun to have around.
Still, you know what you've been smoking doesn't make you hallucinate, so where these images are coming from you have no idea.
You don't let it bother you now anyway.
About thirty minutes later, after your shower and getting dressed, you stand in front of Lyra and Bon Bon's rather short (which is the perfect height for ponies but not for you) mirror to get a look at yourself in your swag suit.
You really gotta admit, this suit does make you feel like a boss. Not just a boss though. A bawller boss. Which is what you are and what you've always been.
You can swear you hear this song play in your head as you look yourself over.
'Oh yeah, I'm awesome,' you think to yourself as you look yourself over.
"Wow," you suddenly hear from the door. You turn to see both Lyra and Bon Bon standing there, both with jubilant looks of awe on their faces. Since you've discovered them, the two of them walk into the room and start walking around you to get a better look at you.
"You look nice. Really nice," Bon Bon says to you as she looks you over.
"Thank you," you politely say to her.
"The swag..." Lyra says as she stops in front of you. "So much swag. It's practically radiating off of you and making us and the room look swag too." Then she takes in a deep breath and stands up on her hind legs. "Oh yeah, I can feel the swag..." Bon Bon just looks at her like she's insane. You can't help but give her a similar look as well. Meh, it's not the weirdest thing you've seen her do.
-7:00 pm-
Later on, after some time for Lyra and Bon Bon to get ready for the party, which really didn't amount to much, you don't notice any difference with them, they still look more or less the same. You don't mind it though.
You follow them through the town as they lead you to where the party is. According to the invitation you got from Pinkie Pie earlier, the party was to take place in a place called "Sugarcube Corner" at 7:00 pm sharp. You have no idea where this Sugarcube Corner place even is (you were knocked out when you arrived there), but Lyra and Bon Bon do, so you follow their lead.
Less than five minutes later, you find yourself standing in front of a building that looks like a gingerbread house. Kind of strange, considering all the other buildings here seem pretty normal, but you're not about to question it. Still, this building and this area of town do look kind of familiar. You assume its closed, since all the lights are off.
"Well, here we are," Lyra says as she walks up towards the door. Bon Bon following her. They both walk up and hold hold the doors open for you. They both look back at you smiling as they do. "Shall the guest of honor enter his par-tay?" Lyra says to her in her best mock British accent. Bon Bon just giggles to herself as Lyra does that.
"Uh, thank you," you say as you walk right past them and into the gingerbread house.
The second, you take one step through the door however, all the lights in the building suddenly come on at once, and you suddenly see a "Welcome to Ponyville Jason the Human" banner hanging from the ceiling and about 40 to 50 ponies staring right at you.
They all shout at you. You suddenly find yourself at a loss for words. You've never seen this many ponies in one place before. Hell, the entire town might be here. Some of these ponies you've seen already, but many of them you haven't. They're all staring at you with really bright and cheerful smiles on their faces, you just stand there in awe.
What do you do?
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At all costs, avoid the Party Cannon. Feel free to mingle with whatever Pinkie's doing, but for God's sake avoid the Cannon.
WHEN THE MUSIC STARTS, YOU GET YOUR ASS ON THAT DANCE FLOOR AND DO THE FUCKING DINASAUR
Throughout the festivities, Rarity keeps trying to stay close to you and keeps trying to get you to dance and other "subtle" behaviors. If you get her alone break down the rules to her. Tell her your grateful for the suit and for the help with Twilight, but tell her straight up that you are not, have never been and will never be interested in ponies. Tell her that that kind of thing in some countries in your world can get you thrown in jail for 7 years (Which is True). Then tell her that both of you should just forget that night in the boutique and move on. Shake on it then add in that you also don't want to piss Twilight's Dragon off, since he always looks angry when you are around Rarity.
FAKE A HEART ATTACK!
Check to see if the building is edible.
Yell "PARTY THAT FUNKY MUSIC,WHITE FILLY." and dance like a boss.
It's time to channel a dancer, no?
Summon your inner michael jackson and show them some moves that can only be done with legs and hands.
Thou must position thyself on the plane upon which these ponies stand and perform the Mesozoic ancestor to avian species.
Talk to that chestnut pony with the hour glass cutie mark
Watch out, there's an alligator in the punch bowl!
...Dinosaur
While you have their attention.
GIT.
THE F**K.
DAOWN!!
DO THE MA-CA-RENA!
There is so much swag within you that you wanted to find an equal; someone who can help you see your limits.
...What's she doing?
hey, it's time to show these people how to do the dinosaur, b/c it's party time. And then freak the ever living crap out of them when you dance like Michael Jackson on Thriller
Take a moment to wonder why the hay you got an invitation to your own surprise party.
Then walk the dinosaur. Because swag.
do what ppl do at partys 'cuz i don't know.i50.tinypic.com/2m5hu7k.png
Yell "ESIRPRUS!!"
Mingle and meet new ponies and answer a few questions for a bit. For the most part the ponies are a littile curious about you, but they mostly want to party so they leave to the ones that really want to talk to you( Rarity, Dash, DERPY, etc.)
Pinkie offers to give you the ride of your life, making it clear she does not mean that as innuendo. Agree. Get fired from the party cannon into the sky, and land in a giant pool of jello. Walk the dinosaur in the jello.
Thank the ponies for coming to the party, and do it with swag. Thanks to your swag suit, you're to too awesome at the moment to mess up or act wierd or stupid( maybe that should be how it always is when you wear the suit).
Wreak havoc.
When asked to dance, DON'T do the dinosaur. That's for when you're High or after a crazy situation. Instead dazzle the ponies with something that shows off your "biped-ness", like the Moonwalk.
You and RainbowDash enter into an Unspoken contest to see who has the most swag. Let the Swag-Off begin!
Bask in the Wonderfulness that is Derpy Hooves!
YOLO SWAG *wreaks shit*
Action: Toss a coin. Said coin goes into a Jukebox and it begins to play "Smooth Criminal" as you twirl and Moonwalk in.
Like a BADASS!
Manly Scream.
Other than that, might as well introduce yourself. Make sure they know who's this monkey dude just radiating swag.
As you walk in you notice twilight I suggest you run like hell
Channel a random musican with swag (or just channel Michael 'Thrillerman' Jackson) and dance your way into the room. After getting acquainted with some ponies and thanking Pinkie for the party, spot a less deshelved and crazy Twilight standing between Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. They come over and have Twilight apologize to you. After that do the friggin dinosaur like a baws.
Apply your face to the nearest pie at your leisure
Fail to summon your inner Michael Jackson since he's not fictional.
DO THE MOONWALK!
After that say: Sup bitches?
Act like any proud man would in that situation: Scream like a little girl.
(Where did ghost of sombra go? or is he still haunting Twilight?)
Begin channeling your inner Michael Jackson and begin moon walking into the room!
You May not be able to channel michael Jackson because he is real but that won't stop you from pulling out his best moves. Time for a THRILLER NIGHT!
After a while partying you notice Twilight in the corner, walk over and attempt to get a more logical explanation for the whole rape thing. Maybe find out if you could be friends when she calmed down...or if she could at least send you home eventually.
After all the dinosauring, moonwalking and swaggering you need to sit back, relax and bask in the upbeat mood of this party.
Shout "Lets get this party started!" and proceed to dance once the swag music starts playing.
Go, "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... Hello."
Pull a Pinkie...
...
...
...
...
...
... With a gatling gun!!!